Author's Note: Hi again! Alright, so I'm going to try and post a new chapter every Saturday. Please leave a review and let me know what you think! Enjoy!
Chapter Twenty Six: Overheard
I am still sitting by the campfire contemplating all that has just happened with Heng when I hear footsteps coming in my direction. Actually, it sounds more like multiple pairs of footsteps. I turn to see Ling, Yao, and Chien-Po herding in my direction.
"Hey there, Ping!" Ling exclaims happily when he sees me. Yao elbows Ling in the ribcage which earns a yelp from the latter.
"It's Lieutenant Fa now you idiot!" Yao corrects him.
I wave it off and try to act as cheerful as I can. (My conversation with Heng really seemed to depress me.) "I have already told you guys, you only need to call me that when we're with the other soldiers! When it's just us, I'm just Ping, alright?"
"Yeah, whatever you say," Yao states with a wave of his hand as he seats himself on one of the four logs that surround the campfire. The other two follow suit, also taking a seat. The three then proceed to strike up a conversation. I find that no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to focus on their conversation; instead, my mind keeps wandering back to Heng. I don't think anyone has ever been so brutally honest about my situation with me. Even Mushu seems to try and spare my feelings or sugarcoat things.
"Ping? Hello? Ping? Buddy, are you okay?" I am startled out of my thoughts by Ling snapping his fingers in front of my face. All three men are looking at me with concern.
"Ping, are you alright?" Chein-Po questions gently.
"I'm fine. I think I'm probably just tired." I lie.
"You scared us there!" Yao states, trying to look frustrated, but his voice shows a hint of concern.
"I'm sorry, guys. I think I'm just going to go back to my tent and get some sleep." I stand up and am about to leave when I feel a hand on my shoulder. I turn and see Chein-Po standing there, concern written all over his face.
"Ping, you know that you can talk to us, right? If something is bothering you, it isn't good to keep it to yourself. Before the war, I was a counselor at my village. I helped people work through their problems. That's actually how I met Ling and Yao." The other two nod their heads in agreement. "If you want, you can always come to my tent and we can talk."
I give Chein-Po a small smile. "Thanks, but I'm fine. I'm just tired is all."
He removes his hand from my shoulder. "Alright, but my tent is always open." I bid the trio goodnight and proceed to walk away. I am only a few feet away, however, when I hear them mention my name. Ping's name that is. I take a step into the shadows so that they can't see me eavesdropping.
"Is it just me, or is Ping acting a little… strange?" Ling is asking the others.
Yao is the first to reply. "I dunno, he has always seemed a little strange to me."
"What do you mean by that?" Chein-Po questions. The same question is running through my head.
"I dunno, he's just always seemed a little secretive to me. One time I asked about his family and he started speaking only to cut himself off and excuse himself from the conversation. I mean, do any of us really know anything about Ping? He never tells us anything personal, like normal friends. It's almost like he's hiding something." Oddly, Yao does not sound angry. He sounds… concerned?
"Now that I think about it, you're right," Ling adds. "I mean he has all these weird behaviors: He never bathes with us. He never takes his shirt off. He never mentions anything about his family or home life, and if you ask, he changes the subject."
Chein-Po finally joins the conversation. "But, it's not like he is cold or standoffish. Ping is always so friendly and loyal. I would trust him with my life, but for some reason, he seems like he doesn't trust us. I'm good at reading people and how they feel, and it seems as if Ping wants to trust us, but for some reason feels like he can't."
"It just doesn't make sense!" Yao interjects. "Why would he feel like he can't trust us?"
Chein-Po remains calm and answers Yao's question. "It seems as if Ping has put up walls-"
"Wait a minute! What is this about Ping building walls?" Ling exclaims, confused.
"It's a figure of speech." Chein-Po corrects him. "Anyway, when someone puts up walls, it's usually because they have been hurt in the past or because they are afraid of being hurt. People who put up walls usually have a hard time trusting people."
"Well, how do we get Ping to take his walls down?" Yao questions.
Chein-Po shakes his head. "That isn't really something we can make him do. We just need to wait and hope that he lets them down himself. Until then, we should just try to be there for him."
I've heard enough. As I walk back towards my tent, I remember a part of my plan that Heng failed to recognize. When I first joined the army a year ago, I told myself that I would not get too attached to any of the men here because if they found out I was a girl, later on, they would most likely hate me. I look back at the trio of men. They're so sweet, so friendly, so trusting. I've been trying to deny it for so long, but I can't anymore. I like these guys. For the past year, they've been my brothers. The thought of them hating me, well it kills me. Heng is right; nothing is ever simple with me. As much as I've tried to keep people out, this trio of lovable idiots still found a way in. I want to trust them, but how can I when I have so much at stake? I can't. I reach into my pocket and feel the cool pocket knife. At least I have a way out. I just hope I don't need it.