Lost in though we keep trudging through the forest away from the lake. The lost of sleep begins to take its toll on Peeta, mother, and I. My usual quiet footsteps begin to drag along the forest floor. The sun begins to set. I hope we've gone far enough to start a fire tonight. As we walk I can see Gale's upset demeanor trickles to Rory. A few paces ahead of us, I can see they are in a quiet debate about something.
"We should stop," I call to them. Distracted in their heated conversation, they don't hear me.
"Gale, it's getting late. We should set up for tonight," I say a little louder and more assertive. Throwing my bag to the ground. I feel relieved of the stress the bag created on my shoulder. Peeta was questionably silent the entire hike. Looking down at his boots, his quiet mourning is somber. For my mother I couldn't say the same. She softly murmured to herself, naming plants. But occasionally she calls out my name, startling us. It looked like she was fighting against herself. Trying her best not too fall into her thoughts. like when I was a child. but to not evade she was losing it with every hour.
Gale stops and looks around to us, his face blank of expression. "I think we can go a little longer,"
"I can't, the pack is heavy. It putting a lot of stress on me, I need to rest," I say, as much as I hated play this card it was entirely true. I am extremely exhausted. My lower back had began to cramp up, and I begin to worry for my child in me. Stress couldn't be good for the baby, and I've been dealt with more then one personal can handle lately. Cramping was a sign I wasn't going to take lightly. Not here. not in the unknown forest.
Gale's eyes fall to my stomach and then to Peeta. I know he thinks I'm making it up but doesn't question it.
"Alright, we should just take out the sleeping bags," he says, letting his bag fall to the ground. I nod. Digging into my own bag and pulling out our makeshift sleeping bags that could barely pass for it. They weren't like the ones in the Games Peeta and I used. They were Sewn together quilts to help keep our warmth in. Another one of Hazelle's ideas. Something she's thought of long ago when she was younger in the community homes. A bit of information about her I hadn't known. It's was something that fueled her to keep her family together and not fall into depression. She knew the dangers those houses held first hand.
Once set up, I began to set Peeta's sleeping bag next to mine. Leading him to his. He sits down on it, looking blankly at his knees. Gale goes over to my mother. Brushing her hair down with his palm. Speaking softly to her, he pulls off her pack and begins to set her up. I take off Peeta's boots and socks hanging them on a branch next to us. We haven't eaten since we've left District Twelve. My stomach grows at the thought and I pull out the dried meat we thought to bring. Placing it in front of Peeta.
"Peeta, eat this. It'll make you feel a little better."
Slowly, he begins to eat what's in front of him. It relieves me. Grieve was dangerous, and unpredictable. When my mother lost my father she wouldn't eat for days. Not that there was anything to eat. But when there was, she would never touch it. I was grateful Peeta was eating. It was a good sign.
While Gale tended to Rory and my mother, I start to look for fire wood. A warm fire would make them feel a bit safer.
"What are you doing?" Gale asks, I stop mid pick up.
"I'm starting a fire." I say and continue to gather.
"No fire," Gale says flatly. I scowl at him.
" We need a fire."
"The District might see."
"Gale, the District is on fire right now."
He shakes his head at my argument.
"They think we've gotten on that hovercraft, the Capital is not looking for us out here," I say clearly annoyed by his indifference.
"I don't think it's safe yet to make the fire, just to be safe I don't think we should."
I drop the wood angrily. Letting if fall to the ground with a crash. I curse Gale in my mind. I was upset with a lot of things at the moment. Most still didn't mustering it's way up to the surfers. The only outlet was Gale.
Why did they leave us? How could they? We were the victors of District twelve. The spark of the revolution. Yet they just left us to die in the meadow. Another reason for my anger was Gale's choice to come back for us. An unnecessary act that lead to us being stuck together in the woods.
"Why did you come back for us?" I ask straight out. I couldn't understand the reason for his idiotic sacrifice. He looks up at me from his crouch position next to my mother.
"Because I couldn't just leave you there. There was more Capital crafts coming, Katniss, Haymitch was trying to stop them from leaving. But the by time Rye told us you were right behind him it was to late... I couldn't just leave you behind."
"Well, you shouldn't have came."
"You and Peeta wouldn't have made it out." He says.
"Peeta and I are not your responsibility. We can handle ourselves. We don't need you Gale. You should've just stayed on that damn hovercraft."
"Oh. yeah. You both look like your handling yourselves pretty well," He says sarcasm think In his voice. His implication was clear. " and you know something! You and Peeta would have been killed. Right there in that damn meadow. And you know it. Just because of what happened between us doesn't mean you get to treat me like this. I said Sorry, Katniss, what more do you want from me."
This chokes me up. To use that card in a situation like this was a low blow. I didn't need a reminder. I was already pushing my anxiety to the side to survive this.
"Don't you dare..." I warn him. Point a finger in his direction. How dare he bring that up in a time like this. Especially in front of Peeta.
"What did he do?" Peeta's horse voice fills the silence. I'm taken aback by Peeta's question. I thought he'd been to out of it to even speak. Yet his lips ask the question he's been thinking since Gale and his talk. I dare Gale with my eyes. We couldn't do this. Not in the middle of the woods.
"Might as well tell him Katniss, if you just going to keep punishing me for it. You know what let's all punish Gale."
Peeta slowly turns his head to me. From the corner of my eye I can see Peeta's exhausted eyes fix on me. I just stare ahead. Passed Gale.
"Not now."
My anger is caught in my throat, Dwindling. With a heavy heart I grab my bow and arrows and walk off. I had to get away from this. I didn't know how to handle this. Didn't know what to say or think. I had kept things a secret for his family for mine. And for his. Even if I didn't want to admit it to myself. In truth I much rather put this behind me and live a simple life without Gale. Let us go our separate ways. I wasn't weak, I couldn't hold it till my grave. But Gale couldn't. And our argument just showed me he wouldn't.
My eye lids heavy with emotions and the sun set makes if hard to find game. But even in my state I mange to take down a squirrel. I stare at it for a while worried it would be a trigger for Peeta. But dismissed the thought because l know we're gonna need the energy. Holding the dead squirrel by its tail I walk deeper into the woods. Occasionally I look down at it and remember Mr. Mellark. Every memory is a slap to the face. I am flooded with the soft and kind image of Mr. Mellark. Just a few weeks ago he was just sitting on my sofa. I grieve for him. The feeling is so strong that it brings me to my knees. Poor Peeta. Poor Mr. Mellark. Sobs take over my body and I'm hysterical on the ground. Snippets of his death haunt my mind. The hole in his skull. The color of his blood on Peeta's face taints the warm memories I have of him. Next to me lays the malicious dead squirrel. I can't stand to look at it anymore, flinging its little body as hard as I can. I want to scream. I want to be with Prim safe in district 13. Snuggled under the covers. I want to hear her comforting soft breaths. I longed to forget this ever happened, for Peeta's soothing laughter to fill my being and make me steady. As the squirrel hits the tree I feel a sharp pain in my side that makes me cry out in pain. Stunned by the sudden stab I hold still. Holding my hand to my left side. My body was giving out. I rub the spot of pain.
"No. No" I say to myself.
I look down at my tummy. Mentally begging the pain to stop. I know I've over worked myself. There was miles to go. I couldn't get through without this baby, without Peeta. I relax my abdomen. I breath slowly as I move to lifting myself up from the forest floor. I don't feel the pain but I keep my movement careful just In case. Resting my back against the closes tree. If I go back to them like this Peeta would lose it. He's lost enough already. I wouldn't let this happen. If I went back now I would have to talk about Gale. I didn't want to think about this now. I had to calm myself. Give this baby a chance to make it into this world. I vow to do everything I can. I will keep this child safe and sound. This baby was my key to getting my Peeta back. My way to give him back his family in a sense. I know I need rest, and here wasn't the place. The forest grows colder and darker by the minute. I make standing a goal. Slowly but surely I'm on my feet. The pain is long gone and I begin to feel braver with my movements. Keeping my hand on the spot I walk in the dime lighting of the woods back to my family. It's some time until I hear the voices of them. First Rory's followed by Gale. When I come into view I drop my hand to my side. I won't tell them what just happened. It's better they know nothing. Their faces flood with relief when they see me. Rory jumping up from his makeshift sleeping bag and running over to me, Wrapping his arms around me. I'm worry about my stomach, but dismiss my worry when no pain comes. I pat his hair back, comforting him.
"Katniss please don't ever leave us," Rory begs.
"It's alright Rory. I'm right here. I just went to find some game. But no luck. Come on let's get some rest." I say to him. he lets me go. I don't look up at Gale, I walk pass him. My mother lays on her side faced away from us. Peeta still sits on his sleeping bag, looking down at his hands.