The Contessa keeps missing the point, but hey, she's trying.
I had a hard time thinking of a title for this one, then I remembered the Matchmaker song from Fiddler on the Roof, so that's what I went with, haha
"You know, I've been thinking quite a bit about what you said." The Contessa sat up straighter in her armchair and flashed one of those fake, well-practiced smiles.
Lucy was immediately nervous as to where this was going. She was resting by the open window and watching the birds flittering about the birdbath. Slowly she turned so she was facing the older woman and, trying to sound unbothered, inquired, "About what?"
"About not having friends. How you don't have anyone else to talk to, or 'hang out' with," the Contessa explained, using air quotes.
Oh boy. This isn't going to be good, Lucy thought, imagining her grandmother inviting over her 'coworkers' and having Lucy chat with a group of sixty- or seventy-something evildoers. Either that or she's going to hire someone to pretend to be my friend and not tell me.
"And, you see, I know a great many people that are trustworthy enough, some I even used to work with way back when I was young," she continued.
Uh oh. I'm not so sure we operate under the same definition of 'trustworthy.'
"Many of them have grandchildren as well, or other young relatives about your age. I thought that perhaps I could introduce you to a nice young man, hmm?" The Contessa crossed her legs and clasped her hands at her knee, staring expectantly with that grin still on her face.
Lucy blinked a few times, processing the implication of the words. She's trying to… set me up? Oh God. Yes, Lucy was practically desperate to talk to anyone outside of this house, but there were multiple problems with this. She didn't want to jump into a relationship with someone she didn't even know. Especially someone that her grandmother approved of – what kind of person would that be? She almost groaned out loud as she imagined another uppity villainous family strutting in with some troublemaking teen her age demanding that they – I don't know, rob banks or blow up the moon together? Whatever. She still wasn't completely sure what kind of schemes people like her grandmother pulled, and honestly, she didn't want to know.
Anyways, the thought of her grandmother setting her up on some blind date was worse enough, and Lucy shook her head. "Oh, no. No thanks, I'm definitely not interested," she said, politely and firmly.
"Ah. I see." The Contessa frowned, thought for a moment, then smiled again. "I can introduce you to a nice young lady, then?"
"That's not what I meant, but thank you." Lucy leaned back against the window frame and glanced outside. "I just want friends, not a date. Regular, good people, that I can talk to, and see a movie with, or walk around with at the mall." Saying it out loud reminded her of her old friends from school and she felt a twinge of sadness. Her grandmother started talking again, explaining why it wouldn't be the best idea to be out and about and befriending people they knew nothing about, but Lucy didn't want to hear excuses and zoned out. Until a thought popped in her head and she turned back around with a mischievous grin.
"What about you?"
The Contessa stopped midsentence and furrowed her brows in confusion. "What do you mean?"
"Are any of these guys you know your age? Any older gentlemen who like long walks on the beach and pickpocketing rich people?" Lucy teased.
Her grandmother scrunched up her nose and scoffed in disgust. "No one as small time as a simple pickpocketer could make their way into our organization. We have infinitely more flair and ambition than that."
"Fine, are their any men who build death rays and kidnap entire countries, but would also buy you flowers?"
The Contessa finally started to look uncomfortable at the conversation and shook her head with a sigh. "Alright, you've made your point. You don't like the idea and you are throwing it back at me so I see how unpleasant it is. I won't bring the subject up again." She held up her hands in mock surrender.
"See if any of those kids have a single grandfather," Lucy continued to joke, "and we can double date. Go to dinner and then steal the Declaration of Independence."
"I understand, Lucia," she said, letting out a small laugh despite trying not to. "You aren't interested in a date. Forget I suggested it."
Lucy giggled, then looked her directly in the eye. Her expression had suddenly turned serious. She needed to be more assertive about what she wanted and show that she was willing to compromise. "I really do miss having friends. Is there any way at all I could go out more and talk to others my age? I could take bodyguards. Please?"
As blank and unreadable as a stone, the Contessa gazed back. Her mouth opened, then closed. At last, she replied, "I… will consider it."
Lucy nodded, satisfied. Anything besides a stern 'no' was progress. "Thank you." The Contessa nodded back with the smallest hint of a smile.
She tilted her head to the side and tapped her fingers on her knee. "You know, that stealing the Declaration idea has promise to it," she admitted thoughtfully. "How could we go about doing that…"
"Wha- no, Grandmother, that was a joke. You see, there's this movie-"
(Nicholas Cage voice) I'm gonna steal the Overlord Protocol