Warning: Recap of rape in this chapter. Please skip if you are not comfortable. Thank you for reading.
Lils POV
I woke up as the first rays of dawn crested the horizon, my shifter form feeling a bit sore. Jasper came in, noticing the fading bruises on my face and neck. Instantly, I transformed into a vampire, not wanting to face the look of pity on his face.
"Lils-" He began but I cut him off.
"No Jasper. I am going to the Rez now. See you around." I told him, brushing past to leave. A hand on my arm stopped me and I turned to face Rosalie.
"Lilith, you can't seriously be thinking of going to the wolves. You don't know what will happen." She said, voice hard. Emotionlessly, I removed her hand, keeping my face blank.
"I'm not thinking about anything. I'm fucking going. So, if you'll excuse me, I will be on my way." I replied, growling a little.
"Okay. Just don't push everyone away. Even you need friends." Rosalie's face hid her concern well as she regarded me.
"I know. That's why I'm going." I softened my expression before turning away. I blurred over to the Rez, pulling my guitar out of the pocket between reality and whatever existed beyond.
The remnants of snow were still sitting on the floor, despite the rain. I sat in the yard and began playing, just like I had in Belize the day before, but this time, tears were streaming down my face. After hearing Paul and Jared yesterday, I didn't think that they would turn me away, but there was still a niggling doubt at the back of my mind. I started plucking the opening chords of the Eagles 'Hotel California', completely on autopilot. I heard the swish of snow as three people sat down. I did not need to look to know that it was Jared, Paul and Jake. My playing was joined by a bass guitar, 12-string and another 6-string, the strains of the music wafting up into the air. When it faded into silence, I looked up, seeing tracks of tears identical to mine on their faces.
"Lils." Paul whispered, smiling a bit. I let some of my joy out onto my face as I looked at them, wiping away tears.
"I'm so sorry." I breathe.
"No, don't be. It's not your fault." Jared met my gaze. As one, we stood, walking into the communal house. As we set down our guitars, they looked like they were restraining themselves from touching me, just like Jasper. I strode to Paul first, giving him a massive hug. Jared and Jake hung back but I beckoned them over. We stood like that for a while, the rift that had been splitting us apart knitting back together.
"I guess I owe everyone an explanation." I sighed, pulling away.
"You don't owe anyone anything." Jake stated, the first words that I had heard from him.
"Even so, I think it's good to let you know what is going on." I responded, sliding an arm around his shoulders.
"Maybe we should meet outside." Jared suggested. I shot him a questioning glance. "Some of the pack took it pretty badly. Seth and Embry especially. They will probably be angry enough to shift." He explained bluntly. A spike of regret jolted through me.
"Okay." I agreed, following them out into the yard.
I was suddenly very aware that I was still wearing my uniform in my shifter body. Sam appeared first, and now that I had the head space, I really marveled at how young they all were. A couple of growls alerted me to the arrival of Brady, Collin and Embry, leaving only Leah and Seth. A few minutes later, they showed, both wearing looks of mistrust.
"Why the fuck is she here?" Seth snarled. "Vampires aren't allowed on our land."
"Seth, I'm really sorry-" I began, but he interjected.
"Sorry doesn't cut it." He snapped. "You lied to us and betrayed our trust. Now you show up here wanting... I don't know what!"
"Forgiveness. And a home, but only if you're willing." I replied.
"Why aren't you with your little marine buddies?" Embry jumped in, anger clouding his features. Paul and Jared growled beside me but I put out a hand.
"Please, it's okay. It's a good question. I got some time off whilst the Military Police conduct an investigation in Belize. I was raped." I told them, hanging my head a fraction. Seth's lip curled.
"That's fucking convenient! A sob story so we take you back. Why don't you fuck off to the Volturi?" He yelled.
"I see how it looks. I can show you what happened, if it makes it any easier to believe." I offered. All eyes were on me as I regarded Seth, waiting for his decision.
"So I'm meant to believe some fucking vampire magic trick? Go on then." He spat. My hands glowed as I crafted the dark alcove, my figure appearing right next to it.
Brent's hand shot out and grabbed my figure by her neck, pulling her towards him.
"Good afternoon, sir." The replica of myself said, emotionless. Brent let out a dark laugh.
"Hello, Lieutenant." He breathed. He placed a hand on her waist, which she smacked away, trying desperately to release her neck from his grip. He was the same height as my replica and his hand was squeezing tightly. She struggled, kicking out at him, but he pulled her- me- closer, squashing her between himself and the wall so she had nowhere to run. She screamed at the top of her lungs; to silence her, he placed his lips over hers. He pulled down her combat pants and underwear as she struggled, using his free hand to release his engorged dick. He rammed it into her, backhanding her across the face as she kicked and screamed, biting at him ferociously. He showered his come across my replica as she stared at him. He did up his pants and strode off, spitting at the end of the passage.
"Jesus fucking Christ." Jared swore, hands clenching into fists. Seth still looked unconvinced.
"Why did you not shift, or use your powers?" He asked, a little softer now his anger had lost its edge.
"Death was too fucking good for him. Besides, I didn't want to botch it and end up with him running around blabbing secrets. If the Volturi got hold of that..." I sucked on my teeth. "It would be the leverage they need." Seth nodded, even as the horror on everyone's faces had not subsided.
"You still lied." Leah pointed out quietly.
"Yes. I understand if you never want to see me again, or if you want time to heal, because I was acting selfishly. I know this hurt you all." I replied, tears threatening to take over my eyes.
"No, fuck no! Lils, you weren't being selfish; your mate just tried to take you! No one here would have done anything different if they just found out that they were a vampire." Paul pointed out, anger clouding his features.
"Wait, your mate?" Embry asked, wiping his eyes a bit.
"Oh. I assumed you all worked it out. Caius, Marcus and Aro Volturi are my mates." I admitted. Growls flew through the air, with only Sam, Jake, Jared and Paul looking unfazed.
"That's what this all is! You're working for them, aren't you? They want us and you're going to run back to them once you've gained our trust." Quil piped up, glaring.
"No. I stopped them from taking you. They... I... it's all a fucking mess! I came here because I realized how dark the world can be. I can't make you trust me, or take me back, so if you want me to go, I will. I will also answer any questions that you have, if you want." I fought hard to keep a hold of my emotions as I waited for their decision.
"Explain what went on with the Volturi, from the very beginning." Seth instructed. I nodded.
"Over two hundred years ago, I felt a mating bond snap into place between me and them. They did not know of my existence, and I wanted to keep it that way as I heard tales of their exploits. Eleven years ago, I decided to stop ignoring it and traveled to Volterra, where I told them a secret that nearly destroyed them. Aro and Caius had killed Marcus' mate, Didyme. I did not want to share my existence with them when that hung above them, so I revealed the truth, about almost everything and left. Then I lost my memory. When Caius kissed me in the forest and my memories came back, they didn't know. I had hoped to keep it that way whilst you worked through the serum. Besides, I wanted to tell you first. Caius came to visit me in Belize, when he still didn't know what I was. It was then that I found out there was no war, by looking into his thoughts. Soon after, I revealed myself to them through saving you. They visited me yesterday morning, I don't know what about. Caius got the wrong end of the proverbial stick and thought that I had been sleeping with someone. I didn't correct him although Aro found out the truth through the soldier at the gatehouse. I told them to leave and they did." I finished, staring at the floor. Paul put an arm around my shoulders, even as growls rippled through the still quiet.
"So, if this is true, why aren't you staying with the Cullens?" Collin asked.
"Because you are- were- my pack, and I don't want to be a lone wolf." I answered, tears stinging in my eyes once again.
"You said that you absorb others' powers. What can you do?" Jake looked at me with curiosity.
"Pretty much anything, apart from time travel." I replied.
"How were you turned?" Leah piped up.
"I was part of an Irish pack called Ó Conaill, meaning strong as a wolf, ironically. I was the daughter of the Máthair Bán- White Mother, which is why my shifter form is white. The entire pack was killed when we were ambushed by a vampire. For me, his venom acted quicker than the time it took me to bleed out. I became a vampire as his corpse writhed in fire. I was thirteen. I took the name Calynn after my sister who killed the demon. She lives inside of me, or so I like to think." I rasped, not meeting anyone's eyes.
"Why are your eyes purple?" Brady questioned.
"Before I was turned, my eyes were blue. Normal leeches have red eyes, but because I'm both, I guess they just blended." I explained. The sun was beginning to set and the temperature had dropped considerably. "I want you to know that in the past eleven years, you really have been talking to me. No disguises that I knew of, and no pretenses. That was- is- who I am, without the shields that I have learned to put up over the centuries. I just was me. I have learnt so much about love and friendship, so I thank you for that. Even if you find what I did unforgivable, know that if you should ever need help, I will provide it. I leave you to make your decisions." I choked out, tears slipping down my face.
"Lils, I will see you again." Paul vowed. I nodded once and blurred away, not wanting to face the Cullens. Remembering Bailey's flat, I walked at a normal pace towards it, walking through a wall and settling down for the night.