Author's Note: We're at Chapter 30. I actually reached Chapter 30 with a story. What is this sorcery? I actually finished the Plegian War arc and made it to the Valm arc. What is this magic? I managed to churn out 29 chapters and almost 250k words in less than 8 months. What is this heresy? This coming from the writer who used to struggle to write 3K words in six months for most of the other fanfics I had…
Chapter 30
Serenade of Serendipity
"Gods, help me…"
I lost count of how many times I uttered that phrase, sitting on the deck of the ship I was on. I could feel the anguish and betrayal my stomach felt at being put in this situation.
"Raven, you need to eat," Elise said to me encouragingly, trying to pull me away from the rails.
"Please, no… no food," I replied, keeping my utterly absolute death grip on the rails.
"It's no good, Lucina," Elise said to Lucina as the princess walked over. I let out a little burp and stuck my head over the rails again. Why, Naga? Why? What did I do to you to be afflicted like this?
"Raven…" I heard Lucina say as I felt someone rubbing my back. That felt… a little better.
"Heh, some fearsome general I must look like right now," I said with a weak smile.
"You just look like a friend in need right now," Lucina replied. I saw Robin come out from below decks and walk up to us with a big smile on his face.
"Ah, take it all in! Breathtaking! Somehow, our troubles feel like a lifetime away out here!" he said. I noticed Chrom and Lissa were right behind him. Why were they here? Oh gods…
"Yes, Ravey, why don't you pick up your head and stare at the scene before us!" Lissa said. I gave her a glare for a second before facing straight down at the water again.
"In truth, though… we are headed straight toward those troubles. I should be grateful the Plegians delivered this fleet as they promised," Chrom replied.
"Look at how far the water spreads! It's never-ending!" Lissa exclaimed.
"It's still my first time on a vessel, and my legs… I never fancied myself a sea captain," Chrom said.
"Raven probably doesn't either," Robin said in a joking tone.
"I hate all of you… ugh…"
"I never headed out to sea until I came back to this time. Where I am from, all ships were destroyed… smashed to pieces, along with their ports," Lucina reminisced. I could feel a dark cloud growing over her and a part of me wanted to hug her for it. The sooner we can help her overcome this dark past, the better she will be.
"Lucina… something I've been meaning to ask you," Chrom said.
"Yes, father?"
"After you stopped Emm's assassination, why did you leave us?"
"I felt I had no other choice. I could not risk altering history more than necessary. I only sought to prevent the events that lead to Grima's return," she said.
"Hey, so… wait… what about the guys that tried to kill Chrom in the gardens? What would have happened if you and Severa didn't save him?" Lissa asked.
"He would have been gravely wounded… and those wounds would have played a part in the tragedies to come."
"Whoa, well, good thing you changed things, huh?" Lissa asked.
"If indeed they have changed," I remarked before feeling another wave and hanging my head over the edge again.
"Raven is right. The river of time will always favor its original course, as was explained to me once. Take the exalt's death. I may have stalled it, yes, but in the end… I was not able to prevent it," Lucina said with a sigh.
"You did what you could…" Chrom said.
"I was so certain that it was over. I was so certain that I had saved the world. But time simply found another way back to its course. Perhaps the task was simply too great for me. I wonder sometimes what if I had done something differently? I replay the events that transpired in my head, over and over…"
I turned around and put my hand on her shoulder.
"Don't, Lucina. You did your best. You saved Chrom. You're here now to atone for that mistake to try to prevent anything else from happening to him," I said to her. I wobbled slightly as the ship rocked slightly.
"You are quite kind, Raven, but nothing is certain. Another could attempt to take father's life. Time could always find a way to correct its events."
"Do you know how I die…?" Chrom asked.
"Only rumors, unfortunately. I was told you fell in a great battle that was fought to sway our destiny. You were murdered… betrayed by someone you trusted," Lucina said.
"Wait, what? You never told me this!" I exclaimed in shock. "You mean to say he didn't die in combat? Someone stabbed him in the back?"
"That is how the rumors go," Lucina replied bitterly. "After father's murder and Grima's return, I took the name Marth and fought back. I prayed to the Hero-King for a small part of his strength that he used to save the world."
"Yet, now you choose to come to us as yourself," Chrom said.
"I need that subterfuge no longer. I choose to fight as Lucina now. I choose to fight for the man and woman who brought me to this world and bring pride to them. I choose to fight with the strength of the parents who gave me this name and honor them."
"If only I could have some of that strength right about now," I remarked. Lucina sighed to herself and gave me a small smile.
"Oh, Raven…"
"Maybe you all are right. Maybe a bit of food will help me overcome this. I cannot fight sickness with weakness, after all," I replied.
"We did just have lunch, Raven. Perhaps it would do you well to have some of what's left," Lucina suggested.
"Here, Lucina, let me help him down below decks," Elise offered.
"It is quite fine. I have no issue with helping him down," Lucina replied.
"I insist. You should spend more time with Chrom here. You have many years of catching up to have. Go and spend time together as a family and leave Raven to me," Elise insisted. I could see Chrom and Lissa exchange looks of confusion at Elise and Lucina's exchange. Before I could react, I felt someone grab my hand and start pulling me. I looked over to see Sophia was leading me to the stairs below decks.
"Raven, this weakness is unbecoming of you. I fixed you a plate for lunch already. Come, we must work on restoring your strength!" she said with a smile.
"Oh, thanks Sophia," I said to her with a smile.
"But…" Elise began.
"I can lead him," Lucina offered. Sophia paused and gave the two of them a smile, although I noticed a hint of malice or some other uncharacteristic negative emotion behind it. What was this side of her?
"Oh, by all means, this maiden insists you continue your conversation with each other in determining which of you two truly is more fit to assisting Raven. It was honestly refreshing and enlightening to hear you two speak so diligently on such a topic. The motivation and intention you have are so selfless and pure, after all. Yet, this Chosen One prefers to demonstrate assistance with actions rather than words," Sophia replied. With that, she led me away from the two and down the stairs below decks.
"Thank you, Sophia," I said to her meekly.
"It is my honor to help you, Raven. You have done much for me and my friends," she replied with a smile. We arrived to the mess hall and I sat down on a bench at a table. Luckily for me, it appeared the seating arrangements were fastened firmly to the floor, so no amount of stormy seas could move any of the furniture around. I smiled to myself as Sophia wandered off to another room. She came back with a plate of food.
"You really did put a plate aside for me," I remarked.
"Naturally. This Chosen One does not merely speak of assistance, but graciously and willingly offers it in action as well. It would do no good to you to merely be a pious bag of warm air, singing empty praises of gracious generosity."
"Sophia, I… thank you. I'm sorry I have no other words for you," I replied to her with a smile.
"Your feelings are conveyed more effectively through your actions than your words. Just as I acted rather than spoke to help you out, I can sense your gratitude better with your smile than any words you could utter. Your expression speaks to me, like the stars and the moon above, in a way that transcends mere language. You wear your heart on your sleeve, Raven, and that is an admirable quality," Sophia replied.
"Oh, Sophia, there you are!"
I looked up and choked on the potato I was eating. Noire, you… what…
"Hello there, Noire," Sophia replied. "I can see my outfit fits you well."
"U-um, Sophia, is that all there is to this? Where is the rest of it?" Noire asked timidly.
"Oh, you forgot the cape," Sophia replied. "The cape completes the look and accentuates your role as a Chosen One."
"N-no, I mean… this shirt covers not much at all," Noire commented. An odd thought crossed my mind.
"You know, Noire, you kinda look like Tharja dressed like that," I jokingly said.
Wait a second… a powerful talisman of darkness that affects her personality created by her mother and the fact she's from the future? Could it be…?
"P-please, don't joke like that, R-Raven," she replied, holding her arms over herself and trying to cover up.
"Now that you mention it, the outfit is similar to Tharja's," Sophia mused aloud.
"Blood and thunder! I am nothing like her! I do not cast magic! I am no mage! I am an archer whose arrows will pierce the head, heart, and soul of any victim I desire! Do not trifle with me, mere mortals, for I shall feast upon the flesh and tears of those who fall before me!" Noire cried out. Oh joy, Talisman Noire is back…
"Ahh, fair villainess, you have returned! The evil specter of the talisman has claimed the body and spirit of my friend and blackened the pure aura she once exuded! For that transgression, I must punish you in the name of the Chosen Ones! Begone, foul spirit, and release the true Noire from your nefarious clutches before you are subjected to my Luminary Uppercut! Be banished before the transcendent power that I wield," Sophia recited back.
… what am I in the middle of? What is going on? Am I awake right now? Did Lucina knock me out when we left and I'm dreaming this?
"Hey, Sophia?" I asked.
"Yes, Raven?"
"… you didn't put anything funny in my food, did you?"
"No, Raven. Unless you mean salt and pepper for the potatoes," she replied. "I thought that would be standard for the meal, though."
"Silence! Insolent worm! A potato must have butter and chives! Your derelict preparation of that potato demonstrates your inability to be a Chosen One for your true soulmate!"
"I don't mind either way," I said, although both were ignoring me at this point.
"The optimal preparation and the preparation that is most suited to the person consuming the potato are two separate concepts! To be a Chosen One, you must understand that the optimal choice and the appropriate choice are not always the same! Raven here would appreciate the salt and pepper far more than the butter and chives!" Sophia countered.
"Noire, could you kindly let go of that talisman and let me have my meal in peace?" I asked. "At this point, you two are giving me a worse headache than the seasickness."
I saw Noire let go of the talisman and reverted back to her meek form. I breathed a sigh of relief to myself after that. Sophia sat down next to me and gave me a small smile.
"I truly hope this will assist you on your quest to overcome your seasickness," she said.
"Honestly, your kindness does me great wonders," I replied to her cheerfully. She looked away and sighed to herself.
"That pleases my heart to hear, Raven…" she said, staring at the floor.
"Sophia, you wear your heart on your sleeve as well, you know. Let this soul, whose heart swells with pride and admiration for his friends and acquaintances, speak to you and your troubles. Together, we can achieve what us as individuals cannot," I said to her.
"Raven?" she asked.
"Oh, sorry, I thought I'd offer to help you in your language," I said with a small laugh. She smiled back for a bit before looking back to the ground and sighing.
"Your soul truly is one of wonder, generosity, and love…" she said aloud.
"I am merely a mirror, Sophia. I reflect that which is given to me. If my soul has those qualities, it is because I am responding in kind to reflect the one who observes me in such a fashion," I replied. Sophia paused and stood up suddenly.
"I am afraid I have forgotten I have a prior engagement that is occurring soon! Please, Raven, enjoy the potato and… stay true to yourself! Noire, please watch over him," Sophia said before leaving the room in a hurried manner. Noire looked at me in confusing before taking the spot Sophia was sitting at.
"… is she okay?" I asked.
"P-perhaps she has much on her mind," Noire replied. "A-are you going to eat that potato, Sir Raven?"
"Noire, please…"
"Oh, right, sorry. Raven," she amended.
"Is Tharja your mother?" I asked. She gave me a surprised look.
"I-If I say no, would you believe me?" she asked.
"I would believe anything you say, Noire. What you choose to do with that trust, whether honoring it or betraying it, is up to you," I replied. She thought to herself for a few seconds before sighing.
"Y-yes, she is. Please, don't tell anyone," Noire insisted.
"I promise. I kept Lucina a secret the whole time. I can keep you one as well. It's odd, because Tharja doesn't seem like the type to be interested in someone," I mused aloud.
"The relationship between my parents… is complicated," Noire replied.
"Have you learned magic?" I asked.
"I have been t-told I have tremendous p-potential… but I s-simply cannot go down that road. Mother and father have shown me the dark arts are n-not to be trifled with. I c-cannot… I w-will not be like them…" Noire stammered. Both of her parents are dark mages?
Oh, must be Henry. Wait, Henry? Really?
… my goodness, no wonder she's so scared of magic.
"Is that why you use a bow?" I asked. She nodded in reply.
"I can keep my distance from the battlefield with my frail c-constitution and still contribute while staying safe from d-danger," she said.
"Noire, chin up," I said to her. She gave me an odd look.
"What do you mean?" she asked with curiosity.
"Remember what we talked about the other day? Try your best to shine with confidence," I said encouragingly.
"You want me to smile?" she asked.
"No, goodness. I wouldn't force you to do anything. Forcing a young woman to smile because they think she'd look better sounds like an incredibly ignorant and shallow idea. I just want you to take a moment and think about your good points and indulge upon those good points. If you happen to smile from that, even better, but right now I just want you to appreciate yourself, okay? Also, I don't mean from the talisman either. I want you yourself to do it, okay?" I asked.
"I will try. Thank you for helping me, Raven," she said.
"Hey, look, I just want to make sure you survive this war. You came back with Lucina to try to change the future. Let's keep you alive so you can enjoy the work all of you have put in."
I finished eating the potato as Noire and I talked and I noticed her become slightly more comfortable. Well, at least that was one more of the kids who got over their dislike or fear of me. I suppose I should talk to Inigo or Owain down the road, but I just wonder how they would react to me. At least Noire was relatively calm about it.
I still wonder what was going on with Leila and Sophia… or whatever their real names were. They clearly knew each other and they clearly were part of a group, but Leila visibly seemed frustrated whenever I tried to broach the topic. Sophia, on the other hand, always managed to expertly re-route the conversation into a direction that strayed further and further from the topic.
I felt a little better and started making my way back to the deck. Perhaps I could finally enjoy this scenery that Lissa was talking about instead of hanging over the rail in the hopes of committing a vile act in order to temporarily alleviate my suffering.
I had just reached the dock when I saw Frederick walking up to Chrom and Robin. Curious, I wandered near them as well.
"Milord, a report," Frederick stated.
"What is it? Also, Raven, stop wandering around nearby. I wouldn't say no to having you listen to the report," Chrom replied. I rubbed the back of my head in embarrassment and walked over.
"How did you notice?" I asked.
"It's hard to miss your armor and its… unique colors moving in such a haphazard and aimless pattern across this deck," Robin remarked.
"It would have been more believable and less noticeable if you had come near us and leaned over the rail again, sad as it is to admit," Chrom added. "Anyway, continue, Frederick."
"The Pegasus knights tell me the Valmese fleet matches ours, ship for ship."
"Your tone tells me this is not good news."
"Their troops vastly outnumber ours. While our ships are half-full at best, every single one of the Valmese ships is packed stern to stern with soldiers," Frederick replied.
"If we attempt to board them in a straightforward fashion, we will be slaughtered," Robin noted.
"Gods, it would be a shame to be defeated before even reaching their shores," Chrom said in a frustrated manner.
"We've little choice but to try anyway. Plegia had little men to spare, mostly crews for the ships, but they were generous with other supplies," Robin remarked.
"They did gift us with a generous supply of oil," Frederick noted. "Perhaps a clever tactician could make use of that."
"Hmm, perhaps he could," Robin replied with a small smile. I thought to myself and suddenly had an idea!
"If we could put their ships to flame, they would have nowhere to escape. We could—"
"You could roast us all like hams, Raven! Please tell me you're not so eager to die," Chrom replied in exasperation.
"We have no catapults, Chrom. I cannot think of a better idea. How else are we to utilize the oil we have? A blaze would negate their advantage, if only we had a way to get the lit oil on their decks without sacrificing all of our ships in the blaze…" I mused aloud. Robin put his hand on my shoulder and smiled.
"Hmm, unless… we want our ships caught in the blaze. Thank you, Raven," Robin mused aloud. All three of us stared at him in reply.
"Gods, what kind of crazy idea did I inspire?" I asked.
"Why in gods' names would we… well… I know better than to question Robin," Frederick said.
"No, especially when he has that look in his eyes. Gods save us from whatever he's cooked up this time," Chrom added.
"Let's just hope it's not us," I said.
"Have some faith that I won't turn us into Ylissean barbecue," Robin said. "I have an idea."
"Those words from your mouth are like music to my ears," Chrom said with a smile.
"But for my plan to work, we need to disrupt their chain of command. Our strongest team would board their lead ship and kill their general. As our best captain, I'd have you head the squad, but you are the prince, so…"
"Yes, I am the prince! So, nobody can order me not to go. I will lead the assault!" Chrom resolutely declared.
"Then this plan truly stands a chance," Robin replied.
"Heh, so much has changed since we found you three on that day, laying in that open field. It's hard to believe that you determine the fate of our entire army now… no… our entire people. Destiny has a strange way," Chrom said to Robin.
"No, Chrom, not destiny."
"What?" Chrom asked.
"We aren't pawns of some scripted fate. I believe we are more. So much more," Robin replied.
"How do you mean?" I asked.
"There's something between us all. Something that keeps us together… like invisible ties that connect us. We forged these ties. They give us strength… and together, we strengthen them. If we preserve them or break them, it will be by our choices, not some 'destiny'," Robin stated.
"Robin… I think this salty air might've gone to your head," I said with a smile.
"Okay, okay, perhaps enough philosophy for one day. We still have some details to discuss," Robin replied.
"Indeed! There are details to discuss and preparations to be made. But, Robin… if we are all bound by these invisible ties, I thank the gods it's with you… and Raven and Elise, of course," Chrom said.
"Right, we're the afterthought. I don't mind at all," I replied with a smirk.
"Gods, you know what I mean," Chrom replied with a frown. I laughed a little.
"It's so fun to see your face twist when you get flabbergasted. It just brings—"
I said nothing more as another wave of nausea hit me and I ran to the rail again.
"Will you be stable enough to help me on this mission? I would really appreciate you and Elise with me," Chrom said. I hesitated for a second, letting the wave pass over me.
"Of course…" I said to him. "I wouldn't miss distracting myself from this sickness. Let us crush this Valmese general!"
I saw us prepare for our battle by moving all of the soldiers to half of the ships, leaving the other half empty except for their crews. What a dangerous plan, Robin. First you want us to sail into the nation that wants to conquer us to hit them first, then you want to sail our fleet straight into theirs? You seem adamant on launching the first blow in all conflicts.
We soon saw the Valmese fleet in front of us, approaching and ready for battle. We redirected our ship to meet with their lead ship while half of our fleet held behind.
"One of our ships to meet three of theirs. Either we are brave or we are foolish," I mumbled to myself.
"Have faith, Raven," Chrom replied. We soon found ourselves aligned with their lead ship. I saw the person leading their ship stare at us, as if he could not believe what he was seeing.
"Board!" Robin called out. At that, planks were dropped between the two ships and the Shepherds rushed across. I ran across my plank, trying not to look down, before I boarded the enemy ship. I encountered my first Valmese soldier and struck with my lance. He dodged the first blow, but I assaulted him relentlessly in a flurry of blows until I got past his defenses and took his life.
Gods, it's been two years since I did this. How did I get used to this? How did I get numb to taking the lives of soldiers? At what point in the Plegian war did I find complacency in killing another life? Bandits and mercenaries and other people we knew were evil was easier to stomach in my time in the Flying Bandits, but actual soldiers who are only doing what they're being told what to do? That… this… I can't…
I can't focus on that. If I don't perform, someone could die. I looked over to see Elise moving with the grace and fluidity of a seasoned veteran, but with a spear. Did she get rid of the short spear? Her movements were incredibly elegant and graceful, almost on par with Olivia. I saw Noire still on our ship, firing arrows with deadly precision at the Valmese. Virion, as well, was providing assistance at a range. Nowi and Panne hung back, not wanting to enter the fray on the limited space these ships provided. I took a glance in the air to see Cordelia, Sumia, and Cherche handling their flyers with ease.
Yes, indeed. This was no different than years ago. This roiling chaos that comes with the battlefield… I had forgotten what it was like. I dashed forward with my lance and began to cut my way through the soldiers before us. It was kill or be killed. I can worry about the innocents after the war. I have to put it off until later. A moment of weakness or a moment of hesitation could be the death of myself or someone I care about.
"Raven!" I heard a voice cry out. I turned to see a Valmese soldier running at me from my blind spot. Before I could react, I saw a blur of blue and Lucina suddenly appeared in front of me, using the very flicking technique I used. I saw the soldier in front of her standing there with his eyes wide open, surprised at the speed at which she moved. Her rapier pierced him in a vital spot, landing the finishing blow quickly and easily.
Wait, a rapier?
"Lucina, um, thank you," I said.
"You can thank me by surviving. You seem rusty," she admonished.
"I… I'm sorry," I said. "You use a rapier?"
"Yes. It works well with your speed-based thrusting style of combat that you imparted upon me," she replied. We saw a soldier run toward us with his axe raised high. Lucina dashed forward and executed a series of thrusts that my eyes almost couldn't follow. What was this inhuman speed and ability?
"L-Lucina, I… that…"
Was I slacking in my training? Was she quickly outpacing me? No… I couldn't let her do that. I need to keep up with her. We're friends. We should be looking out for each other. I can't let her have my back all the time. I dashed forward at an unsuspecting Valmese soldier and took him out. The deck of the ship slowly became coated with the blood of the fallen, but every single fallen soldier was the enemy. We had not taken a single casualty ourselves. We could do this!
I saw a soldier rush toward Lucina from behind. I cried out to her as I ran toward them as fast as I could. I saw the soldier raise his sword as Lucina turned toward him. As she pivoted, she stepped in a puddle of blood and slipped slightly, losing her balance.
"Lucina, no!" I cried out. I flicked forward and tackled her out of the way of the soldier's attack. I felt both of us flying forward before I felt a painful feeling searing down the left side of my back. We collided with the ground painfully. This felt awkward laying on top of her and I wanted to move, but I felt all my strength gradually leaving my body. The growing wet feeling spreading all across my back and the searing pain I felt kept me conscious, despite my strength fading from me.
I couldn't really see much anymore. My vision was blurring and darkening and everything I heard was slowly becoming more muffled and distant. I fought with all I could to maintain consciousness. Go figure… my first real battle back with the Shepherds and I was the first casualty. What a joke. Perhaps… I didn't really belong here after all. I disappointed Chrom. I disappointed Robin. I'm leaving Elise behind. I'm leaving Lucina to deal with her troubles on her own.
What kind of person does that? A failure like myself… I didn't deserve to be here. I saw a glow and felt a hot, searing sensation on my back. I cried out in pain and lost consciousness.
I awoke in a bed in an unfamiliar room. I stirred slightly, but felt a huge throbbing pain agonizingly warning me to stay in place. I looked around to find myself alone in this area. What was I doing here?
"Hello?" I said aloud. I was slightly surprised to hear my voice sound so feeble and quiet. Was I really that badly injured? I thought I heard stirring outside of the door and a few voices. The sounds were muffled, but I thought I heard my name once or twice.
Soon, the door opened and Robin walked into the room with a grim, sad look on his face. I could see a few others standing behind him in the other room, but Robin shut the door behind him and sat down in the chair next to the bed.
"Raven, how… are you feeling?" he asked.
"I feel like I've been run into by a crash landing wyvern," I replied. He laughed a little at the analogy.
"At least you still have your humor," he said quietly.
"What happened?" I asked.
"… we… we were out of practice," Robin replied. "We suffered many injuries much like yours, but thankfully nobody died."
"Did the plan execute as flawlessly as I expected it to?" I asked.
"Flawlessly? You were injured. Vaike is in the next room over in as bad of a shape as you. Five other Shepherds sustained injuries that we had to stabilize before arriving at this port town," Robin said.
"Heh… I'm surprised they didn't have an army here waiting to meet us on landing as well," I said weakly.
"I expected that as well, but there apparently has been a resistance force who have been doing their best to hold off Valm's ever expansive quest for conquest," Robin said.
"So, we're in Valm right now?" I asked.
"Yes, Raven."
I laughed to myself and smiled at Robin.
"Then, all is well. We have made it to our destination. Sure, we have this setback, but we have achieved success through your careful planning," I said to him with a smile.
"You're injured, Raven. We sustained numerous instances of moderate to severe injuries," Robin said.
"Yes, well, that's our faults for being out of shape and out of practice. Our clerics can soon bring us back to where we were. I think this is a sign we have to train our bodies and minds like we did when Plegia was constantly threatening us. Only then can we surpass our previous limits and go even further beyond," I said with an encouraging smile.
"But my planning is what got you all in this position," Robin said quietly.
"That's true. Your planning is what got us in this position, stuck in beds and injured," I said. Robin sighed to himself.
"You blame me for this?" he asked.
"No, I am thanking you for this," I replied. He gave me a confused look.
"Thanking me? For having a plan that resulted in your injury?" Robin asked.
"… Robin. Look how packed each and every one of those Valmese ships were. I am thankful for you. I am thankful for being in this bed. Without you, we all could have perished that day. If sustaining an injury were to happen, then so be it. We cannot be perfect, Robin, but you doing your best is what prevented any one of us from dying that day. I would rather be laying in this bed, talking to one of my best friends, than being unable to do so laying six feet underground," I said. Robin paused and for a moment there, it looked like a tear was forming in his eye.
"Raven, I… thank you…"
"Anything to help remind you that we owe you our lives, Robin. You are amazing…"
I saw Lissa come into the room with two staves in her hands.
"Robbey, it's time for his treatment," Lissa said.
"How's Vaike?" he asked.
"Stabilizing. Ravey, you all gave us quite a scare…" Lissa said quietly.
"But we're all alive. That's what matters," I said encouragingly.
"Yeah…" Lissa said listlessly.
"Good luck, Raven," Robin said as he left the room. Lissa sat down next to me as she held the staff in her hand.
"You have no idea how scared we were, Ravey," Lissa said quietly.
"Oh, Frog, how could I fall when I have such an amazing cleric watching my back?" I asked.
"You nearly died, Raven!" she cried out. "What happened?"
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"We heard a startling cry and turned to see a Valmese soldier cut straight through your armor and right into you as you were tackling Lucina. You took the blow for her, Raven… and she cannot forgive herself for it," Lissa said.
"I…" I began, but I had no response to that.
"Think about that while you sleep. I need to continue your treatment," she said, avoiding eye contact with me.
"Lissa…" I said quietly.
"Heh, listen to me, Ravey… I should be… no, I'm sorry, that is not my place to say. Just please be careful next time. You might fight to save the lives of your friends, but it would do us no good if you went and left us behind. When you think of us and fight for us, don't think of just our lives, but how we would feel if you left us for good," Lissa said quietly.
"I… I'm sorry," I said to her.
"Now, sleep…" she said as she raised the staff above her head. I saw the glow of the staff and immediately started feeling drowsy. In my weakened state, I was in no condition to fight off the effects that the staff had on me.
I woke up once again in the same bed in this still unfamiliar room. I stirred in the bed to feel that my injury was mostly healed. I felt a dull throbbing, but there was no other pain with it.
"Hello?" I said aloud. That worked the last time. Maybe it would work this time? Silence. I looked out the window. Dawn was slowly approaching. At least I could catch daybreak from this window.
I heard a knock at the door.
"Who is it?" I asked.
"It's Lucina."
"Oh, come on in!" I replied enthusiastically. It's nice to have visitors while being stuck in this bed. She walked into the room slowly, holding what appeared to be a bunch of flowers in one hand and a vase in another.
"Hello, Lucina," I said to her with a smile.
"Hello, Raven," she replied quietly. She put the vase on the desk next to my bed before putting the flowers inside. I could hear the gentle swish and knew she had water inside. What a beautiful assortment of flowers!
"Oh, is that for me?" I asked.
"Yes, Raven. I… wanted to give you those," she replied. I sniffed the air as I sat up a bit.
"Did you get these for me? They… they're absolutely beautiful and they smell heavenly!" I said, giving her a big smile. She smiled back slightly before averting her gaze to the floor. Was she feeling guilty over what happened?
"I… I'm glad you like them," Lucina replied.
"You know, Lucina, I think you're the first person in my life to bring me flowers," I said in a joking tone.
"Stop joking, Raven. I surely could not be," she replied.
"You really are. But, enough of that… I thank you for these flowers and the company. Are we celebrating something?" I asked.
"Nothing, really. I just thought you could use some cheer after what happened. Look, Raven, I'm sorry about—"
"Lucina, stop. Don't blame yourself for what happened. It was my choice to take the blow for you. You didn't put me in danger. You aren't the reason I'm hurt. If something like that were to happen again, I would do the same in a heartbeat and without a second thought," I said to her.
"W-why?" she asked. I paused and thought about it. Would I truly do this for just about anybody? I hesitated on that and cursed myself. Why was I hesitating? Wouldn't I do this for anyone else? Was it because I felt some kind of pity for her for having suffered so much? Did I just want her to finally have some peace and happiness in a normal life?
"That's… I can't really put it into words," I replied uncomfortably. Why could I not put into words why I did what I did?
"I… I understand," she replied.
"Look, Lucina, you shouldn't have to worry about me like so. You'll find it'll take more than a blow from… from… I don't even know what I was hit with, actually… but, it will take more than that to take me down. I just want to make sure you're safe and happy. I should be worrying about you instead of you worrying about me. You came from some dark, depraved future, full of broken dreams and desolate hopelessness. You came to give yourself and everyone in the world a second chance. I should be worrying about you," I said.
"It's no trouble, Raven… I… you're a dear friend and I want to do anything to help," she replied, but I noticed she wasn't being honest with me.
"Lucina, what is it? Something's on your mind and I can tell. What's bothering you?" I asked.
"Nothing in particular," she replied.
"Lucina… you promised me you would be open with me," I said. "Let me help you."
"You've helped me so much already, though. Ever since I came back, you've been kind and encouraging and warm. You've helped me to remember what it was like to be human again. You reminded me what it was like to live," she said.
"… and I will continue to do so and be there for you," I said to her encouragingly. "But… please, talk to me. Let me know what is bothering you. Please…"
"Very well, Raven. I… I have not… I'm not being entirely honest with you. You are dear to me as a good friend and you are close with my father as one of his confidants and allies, but…"
"But…? But what, Lucina?"
"I… it's… I feel… it's complicated," she choked out.
"Lucina? Are… you okay?"
"Gods, why!" she burst out in frustration. I jumped slightly at that sudden explosion.
"What's wrong?"
"I can have all the courage and willpower on the battlefield. I had the inner strength to stand up to those who destroyed our future. Yet, I find myself failing right now! This is absurd. What is this weakness? What is this… fear of failure?" she asked.
"You've always been strong, Lucina. What kind of fear has overtaken you now?"
"I… I'm actually scared. The battlefield. My sword. My strength. These things I can rely on. I know I can rely on them. Against all odds, I have had success with those values and those strengths. My words. My mind. My mouth. My thoughts. They betray me… they betray my weakness as a person and as a leader… they betray my fear of the unknown…"
"Take a second, Lucina. Please. Take a second and breathe. If it's too difficult for you, we can talk about this another day…"
"No! I must face my fears! Raven! You are more than just a friend of my father and myself. I did not just pick that bouquet to cheer you up. I did it because I've fallen in love with you!" Lucina blurted out. I froze on the spot. Was this…
"… what?"
"I didn't want to! I thought I was just protective of you. I thought I just wanted to see you happy! The more time I spent with you after we first met and the closer we got, the more I thought I just wanted to see you have a better life than the Raven I knew growing up! When I'm around you, I want to live. When I talk to you, I feel peace. But… this feeling of wanting to always be around you… this tight feeling I have when you spend time with Sophia or Elise… I hate it. It's weakness. It's envy. It's jealousy. It's feeling inferior. It's wondering if I'm good enough. It's comparing myself to them and seeing my flaws against their strengths! You've done nothing but be kind to me. You've seen me as a friend. You've never had intention otherwise. I know this is an exercise in futility! I knew from the moment I realized what this feeling was that I was doomed to fail. I tried to forget it. I tried to move on. I want to stay your friend, Raven… please… don't stop talking to me because of this. Please…"
"Lucina, I…"
"Don't. Please. You don't have to tell me your answer. I already know what it is. I just want to stay your friend. Grant me that much, at least," she said in a quiet, defeated tone.
"Lucina, look… you and I… we have a complicated connection. My future self was this horrible monster that terrified and tormented you when you were growing up. You said it yourself that I gave you many injuries in our training sessions. How could you ever fall in love with someone like that? With someone who had that potential? With someone who shares the same name… the same face… the same voice…" I said quietly.
"You are not him. Seeing Noire again after all this time and seeing her with that talisman made me think of that. You may look the same. You may have the same name. You may have all the same outside similarities, but on the inside, you are two separate people," Lucina replied.
"… what about Chrom and Cordelia and all them. Aren't you worried what they'll think? Aren't you afraid of how people will perceive you?" I asked.
"Raven. Why are you asking these things? Why does it bother you? A simple rejection would have sufficed! Why must you interrogate me like so? We've been through so much together and I know many more trials still await us… but no matter what happened or what is to come, I fulfilled my promise to be as open and honest with you as possible. Please, Raven, just make this quick… don't make me regret opening up like this," she replied, finally making eye contact with me again.
I thought to myself about this whole situation. This was absurd. I mean, what was she thinking? What could be accomplished through this? Nothing. Nothing at all. Right?
… right?
I thought about the time we spent together. Sure, we had our issues, but she was always there for me. When she was nearby, we laughed together at all the things we found amusing together. Maybe it hurt a little when she'd punch me on the arm jokingly, but we always had fun around each other. We always drove each other to do our bests and we inspired each other to reach new heights. We inspired each other to be better people.
Was this what she meant? Is this how she felt about me? I never thought of her as anything more than a friend, but… thinking back to all that we did and the time we spent together, I don't know if I would be so willing to do half of that with some of my other friends. Selfish as it may be to think, would I have really jumped and taken a blow for anyone else? There's only a select few that I can think of without hesitation.
… what is going on? Do I feel the same? I want to say no, but a part of me refuses to let me say no. Did I feel the same way, but kept it hidden away? Why am I so confused?
"Lucina, I…"
"Raven, stop. I thought you'd be a little more sympathetic than this. I… shouldn't have said anything. I'm sorry. I'll leave," she said. She got up to leave, but I grabbed her by the hand.
"Lucina…"
"Let go. Let me go," she said insistently.
"Why?" I asked.
"Let me go back to my room and ponder this. Let me take this loss in solitude. Let me accept the rejection and start the healing process of moving forward," she quietly mumbled. I could hear the sadness and defeat permeating her voice. I felt something for her, but this wasn't like the Lissa situation. This wasn't pity and regret that I was feeling. This was… a whole other feeling entirely, not unlike what happened with Cordelia.
"This isn't like you," I said.
"What isn't?"
"You were never one to give up. In impossible situations you've gone up against, you fought as hard as you could. You gave everything you had. The stories you told me of your future and your fights to save humanity… those situations would've scared me to death. Yet, you fought on. I admire your courage. I admire your tenacity. I admire your will. I admire many things about you, Lucina. So, that's why… right now, you've disappointed me greatly."
"… why, Raven? Why must you say that?"
"You approached this with an already defeated mindset. What happened to the Lucina that would fight every battle to the bitter end? What happened to the Lucina that believed in herself that, no matter how grim and desperate the situation looked, there was no giving up? You expected defeat before you even started. How do you plan on succeeding if you don't even believe in yourself?" I asked.
"I… I don't know," she replied.
"… then let me give you the courage to believe in yourself in these kinds of circumstances. If you can't believe in yourself, then believe in the man who wholeheartedly and unconditionally believes in you," I said warmly.
"Raven?" she asked.
"I am sorry to disappoint you, but I will be defying your expectations."
"What are you talking about?"
"You came in fully expecting me to reject you. However, I am not rejecting you or your feelings. I… honestly am not sure how I feel about you at the moment, but your declaration has me considering the possibility that we could be more than friends," I replied. "I… honestly… never thought someone would feel that way about me. In those two years away with the Flying Bandits, I kept to myself. I never got close to anyone. The guilt of rejecting Lissa and the sting of… my own rejection… it made me wonder if there would ever be someone who would feel the same way I would in a mutual manner," I said.
"What do you mean you're not sure how to feel, though?" she asked.
"There are some things I have to try to move past in my mind. How I feel about you… do I see you as a friend or more? I want to say I only see you as friend, but for some reason, I feel like there's more there. Yet, you're still… Chrom's daughter, time-traveler or not. It feels weird to think I would be courting someone who is essentially the baby that lays in Ylisstol right now. I think about the stories you told me of my future self. I worry and fear that something in me is what is responsible for that. I… don't want to become that person. I don't want you to suffer through that twice. Love blinds people sometimes, and I care about you too much to risk putting you in that circumstance again…"
"Raven…"
"Please, Lucina… I appreciate your courage for speaking your mind and feelings. I just ask that you have some patience. This was… unexpected. Just, please, give me some time to give you the correct answer. That's all I'm asking for. I know it must be stressful to be in suspense, but I think we both would appreciate the answer that most accurately reflects my feelings," I replied.
"I… I don't know how to feel about this. I feel anguished at being left in suspense like so and fearful that I would still be rejected after waiting for you, but also… a part of me feels elated that there is hope," Lucina quietly said. I winced slightly as sunlight hit me in the eyes. I glanced out the window to see the sun finally peeked over the horizon.
"Sunrise…" I said aloud.
"It is, indeed," she replied.
"That, Lucina, is light. It is the light of hope. It is the light that the future will be saved, but… it's also the light that your future can be equally bright. Please, I know it's terrible to sit in suspense, but… I promise I will make my decision soon," I said. She sighed to herself.
"This will make things awkward between us, will it not?" she asked.
"Only if you choose to make it so…" I replied.
"… a part of me wants to act upon my instincts and desires despite the answer you gave me," she said.
"Like how so?" I asked.
"Like… it's hard to describe," she said.
"Then show me what you want to do. I promise I will not judge you."
She gave me a nervous look before getting up off the chair. She sat down on the bed and laid down next to me and put her head on my shoulder. I felt a warm sensation, as if a warm fire was burning inside, melting away all my fears and anxieties. Just having her here, like she always has been, helps put my mind at ease.
… what would be different if I said yes to her? What would even change?
"I… always wanted to know what this felt like. I've… seen many couples sit like this, small rays of light in the darkness that surrounded humanity. Even in a world of desolation, you could see their happiness coming through. I wanted… to experience that for myself."
"How does it feel?" I asked.
"It feels… calming. Relaxing. Like all my troubles are slowly fading away. I almost… want to go back to sleep. I feel safe next to you, Raven," she replied. I gently put my arm around her and pulled her closer out of instinct. Why? Why did I have the instinct to do that?
"Remember that first night we shared in that camp prior to the final battle with Plegia? It was the night I was having a nightmare and you calmed me out of it. I ended up waking up with you right next to me," I said.
"Gods, I forgot about that. There was also the night where you let me stay in your room and insisted I use the bed," she replied.
"You nearly broke my nose throwing that pillow at me," I replied. She put an arm around me and let out a contented sigh.
"This… this is peaceful. Laying here, watching the sun rise together, relaxing amidst the storm of the war that's going on… I can understand why those couples radiated so much light," she said.
"Is that what you think we are?" I asked.
"I… sorry, I apologize, Raven," she said quickly.
"No, Lucina, it's fine. I… honestly could get used to this as well. I… really, honestly could. I never thought I actually could feel this way with someone this close to me. The prospect of opening up to someone like this normally terrifies me and, yet, it does not. I trust you, Lucina," I confessed. "Maybe this decision will be easier than I thought."
"Truly, hearing you say that brings ease to my heart," she replied. I sighed to myself and laid there. Together, we watched the sun rise together, with not another word said between us. Yet, the stillness was peaceful. The silence and quiet I normally enjoyed in my solitude was shared by someone and it didn't make me feel uncomfortable. It felt increased… it felt amplified… it felt even more relaxing and peaceful. I could feel and hear her breathing; I could sense it slowing with every passing minute. This was bliss… and I felt some part of my subconscious realizing this was something I was missing and I never knew.
I had to protect her. I had to protect this world. I had to get stronger. I had to do my part, and then some, in order to protect that which I held dear. I could not fail...