His eyes fluttered open, heavy with exhaustion from both lack of sleep and physical exertion. It had been a truly draining few days, but Scorpius didn't want to sleep. Not yet. Not when he was lying in bed with Rose Weasley for the first time.
He was still breathing heavily as he lay on his stomach beside her, having just managed to drag his limp and sweaty self off of her only moments ago. She was trying to catch her breath as well, lying on her back with her eyes closed and her hands still above her head. Not liking the fact that he was physically separated from her, Scorpius mustered the strength to reach out and trail his fingers over her stomach, which quivered under his touch as Rose let out a gasp. He could only grin and continue to touch her until she squirmed when he reached her rib cage. She reached down to interlock her fingers with his. There was a smile on her face as she rolled her head to the side to look at him.
"That tickles," she said as she rested their joined hands against her stomach. Scorpius just smiled innocently and brushed his thumb against her soft skin.
"Stop," she giggled, using their clasped hands as leverage to roll over and pull herself towards him. She let out a shiver as her legs tangled with his. Scorpius didn't even hesitate before sitting up and grabbing the blankets that had been pushed down to the end of her bed. He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her even closer as he lay back down, both of them now cozy under the covers.
It was still sinking in, what they'd just done. But there was plenty of proof to help continue to confirm his new reality. And as what they'd done continued to hit home, Scorpius grew nervous. What if Rose regretted it? She was lying naked in his arms and seemed perfectly content, but would she stay that way? He truly hoped she would. He had wanted to be this close to her for longer than he'd probably willingly admit, and all of it was far better than he'd ever imagined it would be.
"You feeling all right?" he asked, thinking she had to be based on the way she was looking at him so lovingly. But he had to be sure. He would hate himself if he'd truly hurt her or done anything that she hadn't wanted.
"I'm just lovely," she said with a sigh, her hand coming up to rest against his cheek. She scratched at the stubble that had popped up over the last few days, not having taken the time to shave when he'd showered back in the locker rooms.
That now seemed like ages ago.
"You sure?" he couldn't help asking, choosing to focus on Rose and the way she was now lightly tracing his cheekbone with the tip of her finger. He couldn't think about any of the rest. Not right now.
"I'm sure," she said with a reassuring smile, her hand now trailing down to his jaw. "I'm a little sore, but it was actually better than I expected it would be. For my first time, I mean. It was lovely. You were lovely."
Scorpius sighed, knowing things like this took time to get perfectly right, but as long as she was happy and content and safe-
Shit!
He sat up so abruptly that Rose jerked back in surprise.
"Rose, we forgot the charm!"
He stared down at her in panic, but she just quirked an eyebrow in confusion.
"The Contraception charm!" he said, growing more horrified by the moment. He let out a groan and propped his arms on his knees, resting his forehead against them. How could he have been so careless? It had been drilled into him by his father and his godfather and even Professor Simpson when they'd had that very uncomfortable lecture on contraceptives during his fifth year. He'd even been unfortunately present for the talk Al got from his dad, thanks to some rather unfortunate timing and meddling on James' part. That had been a truly horrifying experience for both of them.
Bloody hell, her dad had been an Auror. A good one. He could kill Scorpius and make it look like an accident.
Scorpius was trying very hard not to completely fall apart in utter horror and shame.
The feel of a soft kiss against his bare back brought him out of his misery, but only just. Rose had sat up and was now resting her chin on his shoulder, running her hand up and down his spine in a very soothing manner.
"Scorpius, we're fine," she assured him, and dropped a light kiss on his lips when he looked at her in surprise. "I've been on the potion since I was fifteen."
His eyes widened in alarm. "What? Why?"
Rose's cheeks turned a bit pink and she tugged the sheet a little more snuggly around herself. "It can do more than just prevent pregnancy, you know."
He continued to stare at her blankly and Rose let out a resigned sigh.
"I was having some issues with my cycle and the potion helps sort that out. I take it regularly, so we're fine. Though it couldn't hurt to use the charm as well in the future. As an extra precaution."
Scorpius nodded, exhaling heavily and letting relief fill him. "Good. I'm still really sorry, though. Can't believe I completely forgot about that."
"It's fine," Rose said softly, her hand still lazily running up and down his back. "I've got no regrets about what just happened."
There was conviction in her eyes as she said it so he knew she was being honest, but Scorpius still couldn't help a bit of guilt creeping in.
"I told you we'd talk about it first," he said. "We sort of skipped that part."
"It doesn't matter," she said, shaking her head and resting a hand on his arms that were still propped on his knees. He linked his hand with hers. "If we'd planned it and over thought it…"
"You would've been in your head the whole time," he said with a smirk, realizing she was right.
"Exactly," she said, returning his smirk with one of her own. "And I, for one, very much enjoyed just being in the moment. With you."
A sigh of contentment left Scorpius and he rested his forehead against hers, letting his eyes fall closed. He'd meant what he'd said before. She really was perfect, and he'd been so stupid to let the hurt that someone else was inflicting come between them. He should know by now that he could trust her. He did know he could trust her, but acting on that trust had been an area he'd failed in a few too many times. He had absolutely no desire to do that again.
"I'm sorry I scared you," he said, keeping his eyes closed and allowing himself to breathe her in. "I shouldn't have run off like that. It was stupid and thoughtless."
Her warm breath caressed his face as she let out a heavy sigh. "I know you are, and you're forgiven. You just wanted to fix things and you were trying to help someone you care about. There's nothing wrong with that, so long as you go about it in the right way. I know you only ever have the best intentions."
Scorpius squeezed her hand, her goodness so staggering that he felt overwhelmed by it. Things were awful, and there would be many difficult and painful days ahead. But with Rose? There would be so many good ones. And anything he'd ever done to risk not having those days seemed so incredibly foolish. He was lucky that she hadn't given up on him yet.
It hadn't truly hit him just how much she loved him until he'd sat there, watching her cry as her hurt and frustrations poured out of her. Because there was an obvious unconditional love for him driving all of it. He wasn't sure he'd known what it even meant to be loved like that before then.
She was the reason he was still standing. The reason he wanted to continue to love and trust people. He couldn't imagine his life without her, either past, present, or future. He didn't want to. He wanted this - him and her - forever.
"Rose?" he whispered, knowing the words he was about to say were quite possibly not the most logical ones, but also knowing they were coming out anyway.
Rose squeezed his hand and gave a hum to indicate she was listening. Scorpius opened his eyes to see hers closed, a blissful smile on her face as her forehead still rested against his.
"Will you marry me?"
He was either half mad or half foolish or both, but he couldn't bring himself to care.
Just like he'd expected, Rose's eyes flew open. Her jaw dropped as she pulled back to stare at him in shock, her eyes searching his face for clues as to whether or not he was being serious. She'd have a tough time finding anything but sincerity.
"I mean it," he said, his eyes boring into her slightly panicked ones with a calm assurance that he hadn't felt in a long time, if he ever actually had. "I love you and I want forever with you. And we might not have any guarantees on how long forever will last, but I can guarantee that I'll spend every second of it doing everything I can to make sure you feel as loved by me as I do by you."
Her eyes were glassy with unshed tears, her hand on his back trembling and the other gripping his tightly.
"Scorpius, are you - are you sure about this?" she asked. "I mean, it's been a very difficult few days and - and what we just did probably means you're on a bit of a high right now. Are you sure you're thinking clearly?"
He nodded, lowering his legs and turning so he could face her. She continued to stare at him in shock and uncertainty as he dropped her hand and ran both of his own up and down her arms.
"I can't pretend that a lot of things aren't shit right now," he said, knowing he needed to acknowledge everything that was going on for both of them to know he wasn't just trying to find ways to numb the pain. "I'm likely to be suspended, my godfather is a wanted criminal, and my uncle could be facing charges for assisting him. My mum isn't doing all that well and this whole mess probably won't help that because my aunt will be in a state and I'm not entirely sure how much my dad is involved. And who knows what's going to happen with Erin. But Rose, I do know that through all of that, I want you with me. I know that's probably a lot to ask, but I want to be there for you too. Just like you've been there for me more times than I can count. Can you let me do that? For the rest of our lives?"
There was a very pregnant pause as he waited for her to say something - do something. But she just kept looking at him like she could hardly believe what he was saying, and he wasn't sure if she was appalled or thrilled. Was it too much to hope it was the latter?
"Rose Nymphadora Weasley," he said, slipping his hands into hers and looking her firmly in the eye as he summoned his last bit of courage, desperately hoping she wasn't about to turn him down. "I love you, and I'm always going to love you. So...marry me?"
There were still tears in Rose's eyes and one had even escaped down her cheek, but there was also clarity and love and something he had a strong feeling was joy.
And the same feeling welled up inside of him, replacing his fear as she nodded.
"Yes," she said breathlessly. "Yes and yes and-"
He kissed her soundly, nearly tackling her back onto the bed with the force of it. But her arms wrapped tightly around his shoulders and she held him to her, so even if he was crushing her, she didn't seem to mind.
She was going to marry him!
He could hardly believe he'd asked, but even more shocking to him was that she'd actually said yes. It was insane. They were insane. But he wouldn't change any of it.
Rose was giggling and clutching his hair as he started trailing kisses along her jaw. "Scorpius, this is mad!" she said through her laughter. "Completely mental! We're eighteen!"
"I don't care," he said, moving to kiss her neck before propping himself up to look down at her. "And you already said yes so no backing out."
Rose playfully rolled her eyes as he smirked down at her, but her expression turned serious a moment later.
"It's not too much to ask, you know," she said sincerely. "Being there for you. In fact, you don't even have to ask."
Scorpius smiled and felt a warmth spread through him, knowing he could trust her to do exactly as she said she would. "Yeah," he said in wonder. "I reckon I do know."
She gave him a dazzling smile, her red hair a tangled mess and fanned out around her. But then she started giggling again, covering her face with her hands and shaking her head.
"This is just…" she said through her giggles. "We've only been together for three months!"
"Three and a half," he corrected with a chuckle of his own. She lowered her hands and rolled her eyes. "And I think all the years of friendship ought to count for something. Especially seventh year. We were dancing around this nearly the entire time, whether we wanted to admit it or not."
Rose shook her head in exasperation, but it was obvious she was pleased. Even as she looked for another reason that this was an insane idea.
"You don't even have a ring!"
Scorpius frowned at this realization, but then a full smile burst across his face and he ducked down to kiss her once more before quickly rolling off of her and crawling out of the bed. He began digging through his clothes and paused to pull on his boxers and toss his t-shirt at Rose, who sat up and watched him curiously. Scorpius could only continue smiling at her as he pulled his wand from the pocket of his sweatpants and joined her on the bed, giving it a quick flick to turn on the lamp in the corner and bathing them in soft, warm light.
He sat cross legged in front of her as she tugged the ends of her hair out from the collar of his t-shirt, and the love he felt for her clobbered him once again at such a simple thing. He thought hard to remember the wand movement his mother had taught him last summer while Rose watched him expectantly.
With a deep breath and careful concentration, he managed it, and Rose's hand flew to her mouth with a gasp as a small black box appeared in his hand.
"Scorpius…" she said, her eyes dancing between his face and his hand. "Where…?"
He smiled and set aside his wand. "When I became of age, my parents gave me some of my inheritance, which included this."
Rose's eyes were wide as she watched him pry open the box, and her mouth opened in awe when she saw the shining emerald ring. There were two diamonds on either side of the oval cut green stone and it was set in silver. Scorpius had always been thankful that it was elegant rather than gaudy like so many other old family rings, the gems brilliant but not too large. His mother had worn the exact same ring up until his seventeenth birthday, but Pure-blood tradition was that as soon as there was another male heir of age, the ring was passed on. Scorpius had found this to be obnoxiously sexist and didn't like the fact that his mother hadn't been allowed to keep it, but she'd assured him that it was a sacrifice she was willing to make to keep peace with his grandmother, and that whomever Scorpius decided to give it to wouldn't have to do the same if she didn't want to.
He hadn't been expecting to give it to anyone so soon, even though he'd briefly considered how it would suit Rose the first time he'd seen it. And they hadn't even been dating yet.
The thought made him even more certain he was doing the right thing.
"Scorp, it's beautiful," said Rose, her eyes meeting his as he plucked the ring from the box. He slipped it onto her finger and it magically adjusted to fit, looking quite at home on her lightly freckled hand. Scorpius felt like he would never stop grinning as he lifted her hand and kissed the back of it.
"This is still mad," said Rose, shaking her head as he pulled her close. She settled onto his lap, her knees hugging his hips and her hands cupping his face. He grinned even brighter at the feel of cool metal against his cheek. "Our families are going to go spare."
Scorpius swallowed nervously, his smile shrinking. He honestly hadn't given that part much thought.
"And there's a lot going on right now," she continued, looking almost apologetic.
"You think we should wait?" he asked. "To tell them?"
Rose nodded. "Just for now. Not for any reason other than the fact that it's not the best timing with everything else happening. Plus, I'd like my best friend to be able to remember us falling in love before I tell her I'm marrying you."
His grin was back immediately. "Merlin, it's brilliant to hear you say that."
"What, that I'm marrying you?" she said teasingly. Scorpius' cheeks were beginning to hurt with how much he was smiling. It was even hard to keep from doing it as he kissed her, their embrace slow and sensual as she wrapped her arms around his neck, his hands running up and down her sides as she arched into him.
"When?" he asked between kisses a few minutes later.
"When what?" asked Rose, dropping a kiss on his chin. He grinned and kissed her on the nose.
"When do you want to get married?"
Rose sat back a bit, a look of serious concentration on her face as her fingers tapped absentmindedly against his bare chest. "Well, I'm not really sure. Would you be happy with a long engagement or were you more hoping for a 'let's do this as soon as we can' type of thing?"
Scorpius shrugged. "I'll be happy with whatever you're happy with. I just want to marry you. I'm not too arsed about how or when."
For some reason, his words had Rose looking uneasy.
"What?" he asked. Rose sighed and ran a hand through her rather tangled hair.
"It's just…only a few weeks ago, you were saying that things weren't that serious with us yet. That you wanted a future but there was no need to rush anything. How do I know you're not going to panic on me and change your mind?"
Scorpius sighed, knowing she had every right to worry about this after what he'd said that night. Even if she did trust him. "You told me that living in fear of pain and heartbreak was a pretty silly way to live. And you're right. I'm well aware that the crazy amount of love I have for you means you have the power to completely destroy my heart, but I wouldn't be trusting you if I let that fear control me. And I want to trust you completely. I do trust you completely. So why should we wait when we both know this is what we want?"
Her concern melted a bit at his words, but not entirely.
"This is what you want, right?" he asked, suddenly feeling a bit uncertain, but it didn't last long.
"Yes, of course it is," she assured him, her hands running soothingly up and down his chest. "And I said I trust you and I do, but this is all so sudden. I think it's more that I can't believe you actually asked me to marry you than it is that I'm scared you'll change your mind."
She'd ducked her head down, growing timid. Scorpius tucked his finger under her chin and tilted her head up, meeting her vulnerable brown eyes with a look that he hoped conveyed all the love he had for her. "And I can't believe you actually said yes. That you actually want to be with me. I don't take that for granted for a second, all right? There's no way in hell I'm ever changing my mind."
Rose gave him a loving smile, finally seeming to be at ease. "Good. I'm not changing mine either."
She leaned forward and kissed him lightly, her hands going up to his shoulders and rubbing them soothingly as she rested her forehead against his. They sat there in a wonderfully peaceful silence, soaking in the moment until Rose shifted her gaze to her left hand and lifted it from his shoulder.
"I wish we could just tell everyone," she said a bit wistfully, sitting back as she examined her ring. "I really don't want to take this off."
Scorpius reached for her hand and held it in his own as he grabbed his wand. He tapped the ring and it disappeared. Rose looked up at him with a raised eyebrow.
"Glamour charm," he said. "You can see it, but no one else can. All you'll have to do is tell someone and they'll be able to."
Rose seemed impressed as she looked back down at where Scorpius knew the ring to be on her finger. "So, all I have to do is say I'm engaged and it pops up?"
Scorpius shook his head. "You have to say it's me. It's a rather loyal ring."
Rose rolled her eyes but seemed amused. "Fine. I'm engaged to Scorpius Malfoy."
And there was his grin again as the ring reappeared on her finger. He slipped his fingers between hers and lifted her hand to kiss the back of it once again. "I could get used to hearing you say that."
Rose giggled and squirmed in his lap, which didn't help him keep his mind off the fact that she was still rather bare underneath his t-shirt. "I could too."
She kissed him again, pulling her chest flush with his and almost immediately slipping her tongue into his mouth. Scorpius sighed in pleasure, his hands wandering up under the t-shirt and trailing along her soft skin. This only encouraged Rose, and she reached a hand down to tug at his boxers.
"Wait," he said, abruptly pulling his mouth away from hers. "Aren't you too sore?"
Rose nodded. "But it's not like that's the only thing we can do."
She seemed a bit nervous but still determined, so he gave her an encouraging smile and kissed her again, needing the distraction himself as anticipation shot through him.
But whatever he'd been anticipating was stopped short by the sound of the Floo chime. Rose broke away from him with a start, her eyes wide in panic.
"Shit!" she hissed, climbing off of him and immediately searching for her own clothes.
"Isn't it locked?" he asked, choosing to remain in the bed for a moment as his excitement wore off.
"Yes, but that's probably about Erin," said Rose, pulling on a clean pair of knickers and turning her back to him before pulling off his t-shirt. He forced himself to look away not just to give her some privacy, but because seeing her like that would do nothing to help his current predicament.
"Unless it's for you," she said. "Does anyone know you're here?"
He nodded and looked back at her when he recognized the sound of her fastening her jeans. "Your uncle does. So does my dad. I was with them at the Ministry before I came here."
"Right, wait here," she said, running her hands through her hair in an effort to calm it. "I'll holler if I need you."
Scorpius collapsed back on the bed as she hurried out of the room and the real world came crashing down around them. But he was grateful that it didn't feel quite as heavy as it had before.
He'd managed to roll out of bed and get dressed by the time Rose finished with the Floo call.
"That was Alice," she said as she came back into the room, grabbing a pair of socks from a basket of clean laundry before beginning to rummage around the floor of her closet.
"Is she awake?" Scorpius asked.
"Yes," said Rose as she pulled on the socks and then a pair of trainers. There was a shake in her voice that had Scorpius' heart sinking. "She's awake."
Tears were gathering in her eyes as she stood, looking helplessly at Scorpius. "Does she…?"
Rose's lower lip was quivering as a soft cry escaped her. She shook her head. Scorpius cursed under his breath before crossing the room and taking Rose into his arms. She gripped him tightly as she shook with silent tears.
"They'll try again," said Scorpius. "They have to try again, right?"
Rose shook her head against his chest. "No. They're not going to try again."
She fell silent as the new reality sunk in, and then sobbed out the truth that they'd been terrified to hear.
"There's nothing they can do."
A/N: So, that happened. And don't get too mad with me about the ending. Hang in there! Things sometimes get worse before they get better.
Thanks as always for your continued reviews! I know some were expecting to hear from Erin next, but you'll have to still wait a bit for that. Also, I had a guest review express their concern for Al and that he seems emotionally stunted. If this is a common opinion, it was not my intent! and while I hear what you're saying, I wouldn't completely agree. As you said, he and Scorpius are both growing, but Al doesn't seem to be learning his lessons the way Scorpius is. First, they are different people so of course they respond differently to things. Second, I would argue that before now, Al hasn't dealt with things as heavy as Scorpius has, so it makes sense that he might be a bit behind Scorpius in learning how to deal with stuff like this. Also, I hope the next chapter helps you see a more mature side of Al. I understand that it's up to readers to make their own interpretations of things, but I also want to do my best to get things across in the way I intend.
Sorry to ramble, but I wanted to respond to a review that I appreciated for both the honest feedback and the time it took to write it.
See you next week! Unless I can't wait. Then it will be sooner. Hope you are doing well and staying safe and loving people.