Chapter Twenty-Six: A Broken Erebor
Bella pulled her shawl closer around her shoulders as she listened to the wind whistling around the smial. Although it was the fifth day of the blizzard, she could tell that it was nearly finished. It wasn't howling like it had been over the past few days, but sounded like the tired faunt who had finally exhausted themselves with their crying fit and would soon fall asleep, only a last few hiccuppy sobs or in this case wind gusts, before falling completely silent.
Drumming her fingers absently on the table, she sighed. Although this storm had been a blizzard, it felt more like a last hurrah from winter rather than one that would linger around for days. As a matter of fact, very little snow had fallen, it had been the winds blowing around the existing snow that had kept them all confined to their homes. This told her that despite the snow, spring was just around the corner.
Her hand trembled slightly as she opened the journal. She had said that she would dispose of the book come spring. And indeed, she was coming to the end of the quest, but her heart broke at the thought of finishing the tale. As painful as it had been at times to write of, she truly treasured all of her memories from the quest. She shook her head firmly, just because she wouldn't be writing about them didn't mean that she would forget about them. That was just foolishness to think that. Dipping her quill in the ink, she started to write.
Bella wished that she could've eased the pain in Fili and Kili's eyes when they finally saw Thorin and understood what she was trying to say. He had been mumbling about gold beyond measure and wearing that ridiculous cloak that he had found and when he had seen them, he hadn't even bothered to greet them by name or inquire about their well being, instead, he had welcomed them to the treasure hoard of his grandfather and thrown an enormous ruby at Fili. Her heart had nearly stopped at that, unsure what he threw, and she let out a sigh of relief that it was just a gem. Sure, it was a ruby the size of a large chicken egg, but it was just a gem and nothing dangerous, like a dagger per se.
Thorin had wandered off after that, seeming to forget their presence entirely. She slipped her hand into Fili's and squeezed gently, trying to comfort him. She murmured, "Come on, I'll take you to the others. They've been worried about you."
She went to release his hand but he clung to it, which was fine with her, more than fine. Tugging gently on his hand, she lead them back the way that they came and down a side corridor that led to what she guessed was once the treasury guards barracks. It had been the easiest of rooms to clean out and set up a rough camp as they figured out what to do now that Erebor had actually been reclaimed.
She let go of Fili's hand and stood back, happiness welling through her as she watched the company greet the missing members enthusiastically. This was the reunion that she'd been hoping for with Thorin, she had hoped that the sight of his nephews would pull him from whatever it was that consumed him. But after nearly dying several times on the quest, the latest being while she faced down a dragon, she had come to treasure happiness wherever she could find it. Having her family together once again definitely fell firmly into the happiness category, especially where she had thought them dead. She winced as Oin and Gloin bashed their heads together grinning like loons, before laughing suddenly. Her dwarves were crazy but she wouldn't have them any other way.
Her laughter caught their attention and Bofur pulled out his pipe and started playing a merry tune, the good cheer infectious. Kili swept her into an energetic dance and she was relieved to see the light and life back in the younger prince's eyes. A few of the other dwarves pulled out instruments while the rest joined in the dance. She was passed back and forth until she was dizzy from dancing and laughing. She thought that she'd caught an odd echo a few times, like faint far off singing, but it could have been just as easily her imagination. As Fili swooped in and stole her yet again from her partner, she found that she was grinning so widely that her cheeks hurt. This was what a homecoming should be like.
She didn't know how but somehow Fili managed to convince Thorin that there were some things that needed to be seen to immediately, things that she had been trying to convince him of for days. While a pair of dwarves and Thorin searched the treasury for the Arkenstone, the rest of the company would break into two parts. Half would sleep so that they could take the night watch and duties while the other half worked at the tasks that needed doing. The pair of dwarves searching the treasury would be rotated every four hours, that way they could use all of their unique skills on fortifying Erebor and making it habitable before winter set in, only a month or two away at the most.
When Fili and Balin were drawing up the duties and rotations, she had admitted quietly to them how walking on the gold made her sick, the lingering miasma from the dragon still present. They had frowned upon hearing this and graciously removed her from treasury duty. Bella was relieved for two reasons. One, although the sensation from the first time she had stepped on the gold had eased in the dragon's absence, it was still present. Two, the Arkenstone still sat heavily in her pocket and she wanted it nowhere near Thorin or the treasury. Guilt gnawed at her for not telling them that she had the stone, but she truly feared for Thorin's sanity if she gave it to him. There was still a chance that he could overcome this, that he could beat the gold sickness, but her instincts were screaming at her that if she gave him the Arkenstone, they would lose him entirely. So she pushed down her guilt and did what she could to assist.
There wasn't a lot that Bella could do, lacking the natural strength and stone sense of the dwarves. However, there was still more than enough and then some work for everyone. Since Bombur was an architect, and hadn't that been a surprise to discover, his skills were highly needed so she took over the cooking and some cleaning. It had taken the better part of a day to get the kitchen cleaned up and functional. The smaller areas that Smaug couldn't fit into had fared better, so she just had to clean off the accumulated dust and clean up all of the broken glass and pottery that had obviously been shattered during the claiming of the mountain by Smaug.
As she worked, she came to greatly appreciate dwarven ingenuity. The company rotated through regularly and they often showed her how to use some of the devices that were so incredibly handy. No wonder they hadn't been overly impressed with her smial, although it was one of the grandest homes in Hobbiton. Once the kitchen was cleaned, she then started exploring the store rooms on the off chance that there was something useful or salvageable. Her spirits drooped as she found room after room of spoiled supplies, long past the point of being even slightly salvageable. If they didn't figure out something soon, the company would starve in the midst of unimaginable riches.
However, she couldn't help the happiness that sparkled through this time either. Despite the enormous load on his shoulders, Fili was being so sweet and caring. He checked on her several times throughout the day. Sometimes, he only stayed for a moment, squeezing her hand or even just smiling before returning to whatever task that he was doing. She would've protested that he didn't need to do these things, but those moments comforted her and Kili told her that it helped Fili as well, giving him the strength and hope to keep working.
Then there were the other, longer moments. Like on the second day after they had rejoined them. Fili had drawn her away from her tasks and led her through Erebor, ignoring her queries as to what he was doing. To her surprise, he led her to Erebor's gates and outside. She had gaped at the fact that the enormous hole that Smaug had created was mostly sealed up, a few members of the company finishing up the last little bits. Bofur had called cheerfully as they passed, "It's just a rough patch, lass, but it'll at least keep the weather out."
Bella had waved at him but just followed Fili, her hand nestled warmly in his. Once they were outside of Erebor and far enough away that nosy dwarves wouldn't be able to overhear whatever it was that he wanted to say, he released her hand. Closing her eyes, she tipped back her head and enjoyed the sun on her face, she hadn't been outside since Smaug had destroyed Laketown. She looked back down, only to find Fili frowning, his face tired and sad. She immediately crossed the distance between them and hugged him, "What's the matter, dear heart? Why do you look so sad?"
He hugged her tightly before abruptly releasing her and stepping away. He said quietly, "We need to talk, Bella."
It was her turn to frown, not liking his tone or expression. Settling herself comfortably on a bit of rubble, she settled her hands into her lap and nodded for him to go ahead, not trusting her voice at that moment. He paced for a moment before seeming to reach some sort of decision. He made his way over and knelt in front of her, his eyes warm and filled with a myriad of emotions. "Amralime, we need to talk. Ever since we began this quest, things have been crazy and even downright lethal at times. Truthfully, I don't know if any of us truly believed that we would ever be rid of Smaug, although we had to try, for our people. However, there was something that I never expected to happen, ever, but especially on this quest. I never thought that I would find my heart, let alone in a beautiful hobbit lass, one that is clever, kind, sharp tongued, brave, and so much more than I could've ever dreamed of. But because of this, because of the quest and the dragon looming over us, we've had to skip several steps in courtship."
He ran a hand through his hair but she didn't speak, didn't interrupt. She knew that this was very important to him, but she couldn't figure out where he was going. However, he was already speaking again. "I want, no, I need to ask you this. Despite everything, all of the dangers and trials that we've gone through, the fact that you're a hobbit and I'm a dwarf. Putting aside the fact that I'm a prince and all of Erebor." He waved a hand at the mountain dismissively. "And my uncle's odd behavior. Knowing that the future is still uncertain, no matter how much I would wish it otherwise. And." He swallowed hard before forcing out the words. "And choosing my brother over you that day. I have to know. Despite all of this, will you, Belladonna Baggins, be mine, Fili son of Vili? Will you be willing to forge a new life together with me, to face the future by my side as I will stand by yours? I brought you out here to ask you this, because should you chose to leave Erebor, I will walk away from it as well. We don't have to be bound by anything, beyond just you and me. So, will you take me as I am, a dwarf madly in love with a hobbit lass?" He reached into a pocket and held out a bead, one crafted of gold and emeralds.
She had covered her mouth while he spoke, trying to contain her happy tears. When he finished speaking, she launched herself at him, throwing her arms tightly around his neck. She murmured in his ear, half laughing, half choked up, "Of course I'll be yours, Fili. I already agreed to marry you. And if you ever apologize for watching out for your brother again, I will shave you bald myself. You are my heart, just as you are. But you also have to take me as I am, an odd hobbit with a temper and sharp tongue who is madly in love with you."
He breathed, "Always, love, always." And proceeded to kiss her thoroughly. They ignored the catcalls of the others (they had been watching, even if they couldn't hear), just reassuring themselves that the other was there and that this was real. After a few minutes, Fili had pulled back reluctantly, "We'd better head back inside before they come out here."
She shook her head, "Bead first. Where did you find it?"
He was focused on redoing her braid, "I didn't find it, I crafted it. I didn't take anything from the treasury, especially where it makes you feel sick. But amad had told us of the little workroom that she had when she was a lass in Erebor. It was in a section much too small for Smaug to get into, so it should be untainted."
She examined the bead in awe. "You crafted this, so quickly? It's beautiful."
He grinned shyly up at her, "I wanted to have a real bead when we talked." He handed her the wooden bead that he had carved and wove the golden one back into her braid.
She examined the other bead. "Can I keep this one too? I think it's beautiful and I cherish it."
He nodded, finishing the braid and kissing her hand, "Of course, love. We'll find you a chain to keep it on." He stood and offered her his hand. "We'd better get back to work, there's so much to do still."
Another time was a few days after that. He had come and fetched her right after dinner, a mischievous grin on his face. She had hesitated to go with him, knowing well the mischief that the two princes could get up to. It was only when he swore on his braids that it was a good surprise that she did agree to go. And what a surprise it had been. Somehow between all of his other duties, Fili had found a functioning bathing chamber that was supplied by a hot springs. He had turned shy when he was showing it to her, along with the soap and candles that he had found. He'd even found a heavier outfit to help her stay warmer that he'd talked Dori into altering for her. She couldn't stop her squeal of delight at the thought of finally being clean after so long and she'd hugged him hard.
He'd hugged her back, relief clear on his face. She teased him, "Surely you didn't think I could possibly be mad about all of this? Fili, you are an angel."
He grinned down at her, dropping a gentle kiss on her forehead, "I didn't want you to think that I was saying anything that I wasn't, I just thought that you would enjoy getting cleaned up after everything."
She nodded emphatically, "I still smell like lake water, fish, and dragon." She crinkled her nose, "This is a wonderful surprise, I'm sorry for doubting you." She brushed her lips gently across his before pulling away and going to test the temperature of the water.
He had smiled at her before turning and making his way out of the chamber. She had been slightly disappointed, they hardly got to spend any time together, but was too excited at the prospect of a bath to forgo getting cleaned up. However, he had settled just outside the door, leaving it cracked open. While she bathed, he had sung to her, Khuzdul songs that she didn't know, but were filled with beauty, sadness, hope, and triumph. In between songs, they had talked, just sharing little bits about their days and what they had found or done. She hadn't felt so cherished or seen in a long, long time, if ever.
That had been four days prior. She knew that she would cherish every moment with Fili like the dwarves seemed to cherish their gems. But that didn't mean that their situation wasn't growing more dire. They had food for maybe another week, but Thorin would not hear of any of them leaving the mountain in search of more food. She was frowning at their dwindling supplies when Balin entered the kitchen.
Her frown deepened as she looked at the white haired dwarf. He looked exhausted, dark circles under his eyes and his skin was pale. She urged him to sit and doled him out a enough of her carefully horded pipe weed for a single pipe. If any one needed it, the advisor did. He accepted it gratefully, sinking down onto the rough bench. "Thank you, lassie. Much appreciated."
She sighed and plopped down across from him, propping her elbow on the table and resting her head on her hand, ignoring the memory of how scandalized her father would've been at that. "I wish that I had something else to offer you, Master Balin, but supplies are tight. Still, if you need a listening ear, I'm available."
He puffed on the pipe silently for a minute before shaking his head, "Nay, lassie, the weed is treat enough, don't fret. Things will work out as Mahal wills. What about you? You've been doing an excellent job with the meals. Is there anything we can assist you with?"
Bella found herself once again charmed by the care dwarves had for females. Even when they were buried under their own work and cares, they watched out for her in their own ways. She nodded slowly, "Actually yes, I've been noticing something that I've been wanting to ask you about."
He sighed but nodded warily at her.
She fidgeted slightly, "I hope that after the quest, you realize how much I care for and respect all of you?" He nodded, frowning fractionally at her words. "So I hope that you understand that I mean no disrespect to you or dwarven culture when I ask my questions. But like I've said before, all of you are like kin to me and I'm worried and don't know how to word my questions politely."
His confusion clearing up, he nodded, "You faced down a dragon, lass. You've earned the right to ask whatever you want as bluntly as you'd like."
She smiled tiredly at him. "Thank you, I'll just go ahead and say it then. I'm sure you've noticed that Thorin isn't right, that the gold has a fierce hold on him, whether from the dragon sickness or some other ailment I don't know. But I've noticed that some of the company seem to be affected while others don't. Is there some way that I can help them, Balin?"
He straightened at that, his surprise evident on his face. "What do you mean, some are affected, while others aren't?"
She huffed a sigh, "Some of the company seem as obsessed as Thorin in the search for the jewel, I can't get them to rest or sleep. The others are running themselves ragged, trying to take care of the others and Erebor, but I can't figure out what the difference is."
He stared at his pipe for a minute, thinking about something before urging her, "Why don't you tell me who isn't affected and maybe we can figure out what is different."
She nodded, straightening as she thought over the company as best she could. "Let's see, of the Ur's, Bombur is completely unaffected, Bifur is fighting it although its hard at times if he's lost to the treasure or just his own mind, and Bofur has succumbed entirely, I can no longer draw him from the treasury at all, no matter how I plead."
Balin frowned at that, "You've been down to the treasury? I thought that it made you sick."
She picked at a splinter on the table, "It does, but I have to try. And the dragon taint is fading, albeit slowly. But no one will listen to me, it's like they don't even see me any more."
Balin sighed and the sound was laced with weariness, "Who else, lass?"
"Of the Ri's, only Dori is unaffected but he is deeply worried about his brothers. Nori seems to be skulking in all of the far corners of the treasury, the out of sight ones, digging frantically as if he expects that Smaug carefully hid the stone away. Ori seems entranced by the treasure as well, but it's more of a historical fascination. He'll dig up random pieces and spend hours examining and sketching them. Gloin and Oin both seem perfectly fine, although Gloin seems pleased with the idea of organizing the treasury, for some reason. However, his eyes don't have the same gleam, so I'm not worried about him."
Balin chuckled at that, "He's worked with money all his life, as a quartermaster as well as other jobs. He thrives off of order."
She smiled at that, not surprised at all to learn that about Gloin. "We all know that Thorin is not, well. Both Kili and Fili seem to be just fine though, although they're trying to do too much." She blushed lightly, "Fili's still courting me, even with all that's going on."
Balin grinned widely at that, finally relaxing, "Fili's a good lad. His amad will be proud to learn that he's treating you proper. You deserve to be courted with all respect, Miss Bella, no matter what nonsense those hobbits might have told you."
She was warmed by his words but protested, "But he's got so much else on his shoulders right now, I'm not some fickle miss that will disappear if I don't get coddled and constantly reassured."
Balin puffed contemplatively on his pipe, "No, you're working beside him to help create something new, which is the best way to build a strong relationship. But there's something that you need to understand about dwarves. Our females are so rare, lass. Many dwarves will never find their one in this life, their heart song. Because of this, the chance to court and maybe marry is the greatest gift that any dwarf can receive. It is rooted deep in us to care for and treasure our Ones, even if they are perfectly capable in their own right. It brings us much joy."
She drummed her fingers on the table, trying to remember something, an elusive thought. She snapped her fingers, "Kili said something the other day, that he was sure that he'd met his One. It sounded important but I don't know what he meant by that."
"Ones, lass, were created by Mahal to be our other half, to stand beside us through all of life's storms, for us to cherish no matter what else is going on. They complete us, comfort us, give us strength to keep going. That's what Ones are."
She chewed on her lip, "But what if Fili and I aren't? Ones, I mean."
Balin grinned widely at that, "I strongly suspect that you are. However, even if you are not Ones, love is always cherished by dwarves. And Fili loves you deeply. He was devastated when you fell in goblin town and you two weren't even courting yet. Speaking of which, that would explain why some of the company are rational and others aren't."
She studied him curiously, "What do you mean?"
"Bombur and Gloin are both married to their Ones. Oin, Dori, and Dwalin are all caretakers and protectors. The princes have both apparently found their Ones on this trip, and if that isn't a sign of favor from Mahal, I don't know what is." He paused and she waited, unsure if he would share why he was unaffected. He sighed, "I lost my One in the Fall of Erebor. After experiencing a bond, a real one like that, you can't be lured by anything else."
She reached out and wordlessly squeezed his hand, understanding the pain of loss. He smiled at her and gently patted her hand. "It was a long time ago, lass, and I'll see her again in the Halls. Is there anything else on your mind?"
She sighed, "The Arkenstone, Balin, the king's jewel. I have heard it called the Heart of the Mountain. How came it by this name?"
The royal advisor frowned at that, "I never questioned it, lass. Why do you ask?"
She murmured darkly, "If the Arkenstone is truly the Heart of the Mountain, and I cannot either confirm nor deny this because I know nothing about mountains. But if a heart of a creature is wounded, it will cry in distress, even as it lay dying. These cries will often draw in more predators. Tell me this, Balin. Was it the gold that drew Smaug or was it the weak wounded cries of a mountain that drew a dragon, a predator?"
Balin stared at her, his eyes as wide as saucers. She sighed, wishing she could lift the burden from all of her dwarves. "I'm sorry, Balin. I am frustrated, but I know that all of you must be even more so. Thorin is not well, and I know that you must've seen this before, if the rumors about his grandfather are true. So tell me this, if Thorin were to find the Arkenstone, would it cure him? Or would it simply drive him deeper into the madness?"
Balin shook his head sadly, "All the sickness cares about is power and the Arkenstone is the ultimate sign of that power. It would be best if the Arkenstone remained lost, lass."
Thorin wandered in moments later and they both froze, wondering if he was going to have one of his unreasonable fits of temper for them daring to even speak of the Arkenstone. However, he appeared to be as lost in his own world as ever. He made his way over to Bella and held out a shirt of some sort. She took it hesitantly, shooting a desperate look at Balin for help. Balin said quietly, "Is that mithril, Thorin?"
Thorin grinned, "Aye. It was made for Dis when she was a lass but she outgrew it. It won't do for the burglar to be injured after everything, my heir would never forgive me. The line of Durin must be secure."
Bella swallowed hard but obediently slipped it on. "It's beautiful, Thorin, thank you."
He nodded, pleased, and wandered away, undoubtedly back to the treasury to keep searching for the Arkenstone. She looked at Balin, "Should I even wear this? It belongs to the royals."
Balin smiled, tapping out his pipe and reluctantly standing. "Keep it, lassie. There's nothing stronger than mithril and it's light as well. It will bring Fili peace to know that you are safe from harm. Now, I'd best be getting back to work as well."
At that moment, Kili came running into the room, panting hard. "Men and elves are approaching Erebor. Thorin wants everyone on the battlements."
Sighing, she had a bad feeling about this, she reluctantly followed Kili and Balin to the battlements.
The talk, if one could call it that, went about as well as Bella could've predicted. She felt pity for Bard, he really was doing his best to care for his people and offer fair terms, to stave off a conflict that no one truly wanted. He just didn't realize that Thorin was beyond reason, beyond even honor sadly. She had stayed out of sight during this, but her heart ached and broke over the hopelessness of this situation.
As soon as Bard had left, Fili had grabbed her hand and marched away from the others, his face set in a stoic mask. He took her to a side hall that had been decorated to look like the night sky. It flitted briefly across her mind that it was amusing how the dwarves decorated things like the outside world that they disdained going into at times. However, the thought was quickly pushed aside.
Once he was satisfied that they were alone, he dropped her hand and paced away, obviously trying to control his temper. She took in his armor, all of the dwarves had worn it now that she thought about it, and a shiver of fear ran through her. Wrapping her arms tightly around her waist, she couldn't keep the quiver from her voice, "Fili, I'm scared."
He immediately came over and wrapped his arms around her, soothing, "It's all right, I'll protect you."
She shook her head violently, pushing back far enough so that she could see his face, "No, Fili! I'm not scared for myself, I'm scared for you! This doesn't have to happen, we could all sit down and reach an accord, we really do owe the men, although we owe the elves nothing. But Thorin is sick and he won't see reason. We're almost out of food and all he can think of is that stone. If he forces this, if all of them force this, there's not enough of us to fight them off. I could lose you, all of you. I don't want to lose another family."
He framed her face with his hands and gently rested his forehead against hers. She carefully examined his eyes, but she could see fear and uncertainty in his gaze as well. She covered his hands with her own, smaller ones and whispered, "What are we going to do, Fili?"
He said quietly, "I know that the men have fair claim, although it infuriates me that they would threaten to march on the mountain." She met his gaze uncertainly and he shook his head. "I could care less about the gold, but you, my heart, are my greatest treasure and the thought of harm coming to you terrifies me."
She felt shame wash over her for doubting him, "I'm sorry, Fili. I shouldn't have doubted you."
His eyes warmed and he managed a tiny smile, "It's this mountain, it's messing with all of us. I wish amad was here, she would smack some sense back into Uncle."
Bella wove her hands together with his and pulled them down. She smirked up at him, "I could try, although I'd probably need a stick of some sort, lest I break my hand. You dwarves are awful hardheaded, after all."
He laughed at that, "We were carved from stone, amralime." He sighed, weaving his left hand with her right and starting to slowly walk down the hall obviously needing to move and expend some of his anxious energy. "We just have to be patient. No one besides Balin, Uncle, Dwalin, Kili and I know this, but Dain is on his way and should be here any day now. Once he is here and we are not so outnumbered, maybe Uncle won't feel so cornered and will negotiate with Bard."
Her heart hammered and she sighed. This was not the news that she wanted to hear. The more dwarves there were, the more overconfident Thorin would become. She murmured, "I wish Gandalf was here."
His face was grim but his grip was gentle on her hand, "We just have to hold on, love. Things will work out, they have to. We didn't come this far for nothing."
She squeezed his hand and leaned against his shoulder briefly before straightening. She prayed to Yavanna that it was truly so and that everything would work out.
Things did not work out, Thorin growing more irrational and paranoid by the hour. He had the company running themselves ragged creating defenses for Erebor, ranting about how all elves and men were thieves after the Arkenstone and treasure. By turns he would accuse the various members of the company of planning to betray him then turn around and tell them how they were all he had and how he would never allow Erebor to fall into other hands. It made her sick to her stomach and her heart broke a little more each time he spoke.
Finally, she knew that she could not allow this to continue. She was certain down to her very soul that if things continued as they currently were, then the entire company would be lost and Erebor forever forsaken. She wanted to weep but would not allow herself to. Maybe the reason the Valar had sent her on this quest was not to steal the Arkenstone from Smaug. Maybe it was for this moment in time, to save the dwarves from themselves and to ensure that the line of Durin did not end here, alone, in this mountain that they had fought so hard for.
So she carefully bided her time, being careful not to draw any attention to herself and her plans. Instead, she helped with what little she could and discreetly rounded up the supplies that she needed. Finally, after dusk had finally fallen, Thorin had allowed that things were as ready as they could be for the moment and dismissed them to rest, so they would be fresh for whatever the elves tried on the morrow.
The entire company were dead on their feet and stumbled over to the sleeping area that they had set up. Fili had asked her tiredly if she was coming and she had kissed him before reassuring him that she would be there shortly. After double checking that everything was ready to go, she made her way back to the sleeping chamber and stretched out on her sleeping roll. It wasn't until she settled that Fili finally closed his eyes and allowed sleep to claim him, his snores starting up moments later. Her heart both warmed and broke at the same time. She breathed deeply, struggling not to cry.
Gradually the rest of the room succumbed to sleep, the snores that she had come to identify over the course of the quest letting her know when they'd all fallen asleep. With a sigh, unable to put it off any longer, she rose and tiptoed from the room, pausing only long enough to press a kiss to Fili's forehead and murmur, "I pray that someday you'll forgive me for what I do." Grabbing the pack that she had left tucked into an out of the way alcove, she made her way to the battlements. There she pulled out the longest length of rope that she had been able to find and tied it securely to a ring by the battlement edge, silently thanking Nori for teaching her all about knots. Satisfied that it was secured, she slipped over the side and vanished into the night.
The elves and men weren't hard to find, camped in the nearby ruins of Dale. She slipped carefully through the sentries, inwardly amused and concerned by how easy it was to circumvent them. Yes, she didn't want to be caught, but what if there truly was an enemy out there? She shrugged the thought aside, that was a problem for another day. First, she needed to find who was in charge of this, preferably Bard. He seemed to have commonsense and she couldn't sense the greed in him like she had in the master of Laketown and the elven king.
She was heading for the most elaborate tent when she thought that she heard a familiar voice. She slipped closer to find Gandalf talking with the very man that she was looking for. Bard's words were filled with pragmatism, "It will not come to that, this is a fight that they cannot win."
Bella said coolly, drawing her emotions close around her and concealing them like she did around her disliked relatives, "That won't stop them. You think that they'll surrender? No, they will fight to the death for that which they consider theirs and defend their own."
Both men spun to face her and relief crossed Gandalf's face, "Belladonna Baggins, you're a sight for sore eyes."
She moved forward and allowed the wizard to hug her, relief and concern mingling in her. She had gotten her wish and Gandalf was here, but how would he side? With the dwarves or with the men? She shivered and Gandalf urged her into the nearest tent, Bard hot on their heels. To her dismay, the nearest tent turned out to belong to none other than Thranduil.
Gandalf went to introduce her, but Thranduil held up his hand, "If I'm not mistaken, this is the halfling who stole the keys to my dungeons from under the nose of my guards."
Propping her hands on her hips, she drew herself up to her full height, "First of all, halfing is a slur to our people and I will thank you not to call me thus. I am a hobbit and you may address me as either Mistress Baggins or Lady Hobbit, nothing else. Next, I would not have had to take the keys if you had not falsely imprisoned the company. We were just lost travelers in your kingdom that had just been set upon by the creatures that you are failing to keep at bay. We were sick and starving and you can't imprison someone for things that they might do in the future. I know that Thorin offered you deep insult afterwards, but it was partially provoked by yourself. And lastly, I didn't not steal the keys, I merely made use of them, you will find them still in your cellars, safe and sound."
All three men stared at her and she huffed a sigh. These men were all leaders and undoubtedly used to being respected, but she had been dealing with an overbearing dwarf lord for months now as well as trying to deal with an impossible situation. Her braid tapped against her cheek and she flushed slightly. Her heart had been under just as much stress as she was and yet had remained kind, loyal, and gracious. For him, she could deal with these men. "I apologize, I do not mean to snap. It has been a rather trying time, with events of late. However, that does not excuse my behavior. May we begin again?" She bowed slightly, "I am Belladonna Baggins, of the company of Thorin Oakenshield. Pleased to make your acquaintance."
Bard returned her bow, his expression relaxing, "You are right, Mistress Baggins, things have been stressful of late. May we inquire as to what has brought you in search of us, unaccompanied by any of your companions?"
She nodded to him, "I came in the hopes of preventing war, gentlemen. There has been enough loss, I don't want their to be more."
Thranduil sneered but kept his tone civil as he asked, "And what makes you think, Mistress Baggins, that you can prevent war?"
This was it, there was no going back from here. She reached into her pocket and brought out the carefully wrapped bundle. Setting it on the table, she unwrapped it slowly to reveal the Arkenstone. "I came tonight to give you this."
This drew Thranduil to his feet as he breathed, "The heart of the mountain, the king's jewel."
Bard joined them at the table, "And worth a king's ransom." He frowned down at her, "How is this yours to give?"
She shook her head firmly, "I am not giving this to you but I took it as my fourteenth share of the treasure." She wanted to wring her hands but kept them firmly at her sides.
Bard's expression was puzzled, "Why would you do this? You owe us no loyalty."
She said swiftly, "I'm not doing this for you. I know dwarves are stubborn and difficult, suspicious and secretive. But they are also brave and kind, loyal to a fault. I've grown very fond of them, consider them my kin, and I would save them if I can. Thorin values this stone, in exchange for it's return, it's my belief that he will give you what you're owed. There will be no need for war. Please, my lords. Take it and use it against my portion of the treasure and save us from unnecessary loss and grief."
To her shock, Thranduil placed his hand over his heart and bowed slightly to her, "It shall be as you wish, Lady Hobbit. We shall do everything in our power to prevent war."
Bard slipped the Arkenstone into his coat and bowed to her as well, "I thank you for this, Mistress Baggins. And should this ever get straightened out, I know that my children would like to see you again. You will always be welcome in my home."
Bella's shoulders slumped in relief. "I feared the worse, when the dragon attacked. It does my heart good to know that they still live. Now, if you'll excuse me." She bowed again and slipped from them tent.
However, Gandalf was right on her heels, "Bella, wait."
She glanced over her shoulder, "Walk with me, Gandalf. I must hurry, for they don't know what I do and I must return before they realize that I'm gone."
Gandalf stared at her, "Surely you don't mean to go back? Thorin is gold mad."
She smiled up at him, her smile sad but accepting, "They are my kin, my family, Gandalf. Whatever their fate is to be, it shall be mine as well."
He studied her closely, "I see that you're still wearing your braid. Is Fili still courting you?"
She grinned at him, brushing her fingers lightly over her braid, "Nay, we are betrothed now. You shall be invited to the wedding, provided that we all live through this, of course."
His expression was sad and he suddenly looked as ancient as he liked to pretend he was sometimes. "I wish that this could be a happier time for you, Bella. I did not foresee any of this when I asked you to go on this quest. It is a brave thing that you've done this day, especially as it may cost you everything."
She offered him a small smile. "The fates work as they will. I just want my family to live. Even if they throw me out for it, it will be enough for me to know that they still live. But that is another day. Take care, Gandalf. I'll see you again, hopefully under better circumstances."
With a small nod, she took off, sprinting back for the walls and safety of Erebor. She slowly climbed her way back up the rope, her muscles protesting the entire way. She let out a squeak of fright as she reached the top and a large hand latched onto her wrist, lifting her easily onto the wall. Scared that it was Thorin, she looked up to find Dwalin standing there, his face impassive.
She asked softly, "Are you going to tell Thorin?"
Dwalin shook his head and then glanced over at the encampment before guiding her back inside Erebor. His voice was a low rumble as he said, "Whatever you just did, lass, I hope it works and was worth it."
She murmured, "I hope so too."
Things did not go well at all. To her surprise, Thranduil did not taunt Thorin as he had before, keeping his word to her. Bard also did not reply harshly in kind to Thorin's harsh words. But then Thorin's eyes darkened and a sly madness entered them. When he spoke lowly about fools and ruses, tricks and lies, she had no choice but to step forward, all though she had the feeling that it was too late, no matter what she did or said.
She said softly, not wanting it to carry to all who were watching avidly, "It's not a trick. It is the Arkenstone." She fought to keep her hands uncurled from fists. "I gave it to them."
Thorin whirled to face her, his eyes fairly burning with anger, although he didn't raise his voice. "You!"
She didn't back down, having already known how he would view her actions, "I took it as my fourteenth share."
He expression was incredulous and outraged, "You would steal from me?"
She propped her hands on her hips and tapped her foot, "I didn't steal from you. I might be a burglar but I like to think that I'm an honest one. No, I gave it to them as surety against my claim."
His face distorted into ugliness, "Against your claim? Your claim? You have no claim over me, you miserable rat."
She flinched slightly at that but kept her face impassive, not allowing him to see how deeply that had cut her. The rest of the company was staring at them in horrified shock, but she didn't know if it was her actions or Thorin's that appalled them. A rat was she? All of them had been tiptoeing around the king under the mountain, but if he was going to banish her, then she would share some choice truth with him. "I was going to give it to you! Many times, I wanted to, but..."
He gritted out, "What, thief?"
Her voice was flat, "You are changed, Thorin! The dwarf I met in Bag End would've never gone back on his word! Would never have doubted the loyalty of his kin!"
His voice was whisper soft as he spoke, "Do not speak to me of loyalty." He turned to the company and demanded, "Throw her from the rampart!"
The company stared at him in horror, it was one of their deepest taboos to hurt a dam, no matter what crime she had committed. His madness was a sly twisting thing and could see that he would get no support from that quarter. He growled, "I will do it myself!"
Before she could process what was happening, he had wrapped his hands around her throat and was dragging her towards the edge. There was chaos as the other dwarves scrambled to pull him off of her, but his madness was strength. He was cursing her and the blood was roaring so loudly in her ears that she barely heard Gandalf's magnified voice call, "If you don't like my burglar, then please don't damage her, but return her to me."
Her feet were kicking over empty air and she scrabbled frantically at his arms, praying that he didn't drop her. Gandalf said something else that she didn't catch, but Thorin thankfully pulled her back over and dumped her on the unforgiving stone. Fili was there immediately, pulling her up and away from his uncle and hustling her towards the rope that was still tied there. She rasped, "I'm sorry, Fili, so sorry. I didn't mean for it to come to this. I'm sorry."
He murmured, his eyes hard, "This is not your fault love, he is not my uncle, not after that."
She grasped frantically at his arm. "You have to stay here, Fili. Someone has to watch over the company, over your brother. Thorin's not in his right mind."
Fili shook his head, his eyes anguished, "No, I already left you once, never again."
She kissed him briefly, frantically, "You're not leaving me, I'm asking you to stay, to protect your kin. Please, Fili, they need you."
"You need me!"
"I need you to be the dwarf that I fell in love with, be the protector and dwarf that I know you are. This isn't the end, I will see you again. And I'll be safe, I'll be with Gandalf."
He boosted her over the wall, his eyes hard yet heartbroken. He said firmly, "Stay with Gandalf, I will come for you as soon as I can."
He watched her as she climbed down, not looking away even when Thorin yelled, "Never again will I have dealings with wizards or Shire rats."
Only when she was on the ground and safely at Gandalf's side did Fili turn away and face his uncle again. Bella shivered underneath Gandalf's cloak, vowing to herself that this would not be the last time she saw him, even if she had to move Erebor itself to see him again.
Bella closed the book, old sorrow coursing through her. In the end, she hadn't seen her beloved again, with the Battle of the Five Armies and everything happening. She traced her throat, remember how severe the bruising had been. Thranduil had had healers tend it, but it had been colorful enough that she'd had to hide it under a scarf that Gandalf had given her.
Bard had been wroth at Thorin for his actions, but Bella had begged him to let it go. Thorin was a good dwarf, no matter how he had behaved in the thrall of gold madness. He had come back to his right mind, there at the end, and had apologized for his behavior. She had never believed that he would lay a hand on her, but the remorse he'd felt was real and one couldn't hold the actions of a sick individual against them. And the ring had undoubtedly played it's own part in it.
She sighed, carefully locking the book away, not wanting to think about it anymore. She needed time and distance before she could write the ending, right now, it just hurt too much.
Notes:
This was a very tough chapter, heartbreaking all around. And fyi, I do not like Thranduil, but I figure that he has at least a few manners and a smidge of honor in him somewhere.
And the songs that Fili was singing? They were Khuzdul songs of courtship and love, as well as the yearning of every dwarf to find their One, their other half.
Next chapter will be all from Fili's POV. It was just too long to try to include in this chapter.