AUTHORS NOTE: I just want to thank everyone who has continued to read my story and is following on this journey with me. Please continue to read and review, any feedback means a lot to me. I will try to continue updating regularly - BetaBear
Vader said nothing else before he turned and departed for the hangar bay, wanting desperately to be away from his master and with his beloved wife. He found it difficult to focus as he flew his ship through the coruscant skyways, before he landed in his hangar bay late into the night. Anakin wasted no time, as he headed straight for the medical wing in his establishments. He could feel the soft presence of wife through the force, acting like a beacon guiding him to her. When he entered the room, he paused as he saw the chamber in front of him. His heart ached as he slowly approached the glass pod and saw the lifeless face of Padmé through the glass. Anakin was so focused on his wife that he didn't notice the medical droid approaching him until he spoke.
"The Senator is responding well to the suspended animation. We are monitoring her brain waves and they are regulating themselves and returning to normal", the droid informed him.
"Do you know when she will be able to be brought out of stasis?", Anakin asked, not talking his eyes off his wife, wishing more than anything that he could feel the softness of her skin.
"I am afraid we cannot say for certain currently My Lord. We are optimistic of her progress, but we do not want to risk pulling her out early before her brain has had the chance to recover fully from the trauma", the droid replied.
"I understand", Anakin replied simply.
The medical droid left, seeing that Lord Vader clearly needed some space and that nothing he had to say was going to bring the man any relief. Several moments later, C3PO entered the medical bay, having been made aware of his master's late return to the establishments.
"Master Anakin. I am happy to see you have returned. I trust your meeting with the Emperor was satisfactory", he asked.
"It will appease him for now", Anakin replied as he turned slightly to look at the droid.
"Master. I am concerned you have had very little sleep. You too sustained significant injuries not many days ago. You look tired and distressed my Master. I think you should try and get some rest and return to Miss Padmé in the morning", he told his master, seeing his sunken and dark eyes. His master looked exhausted and pained. He was uncertain what had transpired between him and the Emperor, but he fathomed that it had done nothing to ease the pain of seeing his wife in her current state.
"Inform me if anything changes", Anakin ordered the medical droid and C3PO, as he walked slowly towards the door. "I love you, my angel", Anakin confessed softly, looking back at his wife. As he staggered back to his bedchambers, he still felt the searing pain in his mind as the visions his master had burned into his brain continued to torture him. The Emperor knew exactly how to make his apprentice subservient. He had inflicted all forms of physical pain and torture on him, but nothing ever worked like the way visions of Padmé did. She was his biggest weaknesses and the Emperor knew that what Anakin had done to her on Mustafar and his believed responsibility for her death caused him so much pain. Despite all he had suffered, he wouldn't change any of it because Padmé had come back to him, and all he wanted was for her to be stood again by his side happy and healthy. Anakin stripped of his clothes and got into bed in what would be a feeble attempt to sleep.
"Love won't save you, Padmé. Only my new powers can do that", Anakin told her.
"At what cost? You are a good person. Don't do this", Padmé asked.
"I won't lose you the way I lost my mother! I've become more powerful than any Jedi has ever dreamed of and I've done it for you. To protect you.", Anakin tried to explain.
"Come away with me. Help me raise our child. Leave everything else behind while we still can", she pleaded desperately.
"Don't you see, we don't have to run away anymore. I have brought peace to the Republic. I am more powerful than the Chancellor. I can overthrow him, and together you and I can rule the galaxy. Make things the way we want them to be.", Anakin told her.
"I don't believe what I'm hearing . . . Obi-Wan was right. You've changed", she realised sadly, taking a step back from her husband.
"I don't want to hear any more about Obi-Wan. The Jedi turned against me. Don't you turn against me", Anakin shouted.
"I don't know you anymore. Anakin, you're breaking my heart. I'll never stop loving you, but you are going down a path I can't follow", Padmé cried.
"Because of Obi-Wan?", Anakin asked, glancing up to the see his old master stood on the ramp of the ship.
"Because of what you've done . . . what you plan to do. Stop, stop now. Come back! I love you", Padmé begged her husband, feeling him slip away with every word.
"Liar!", Anakin shouted, seeing Obi-Wan disembark the ship.
"No!", Padmé said in disbelief.
"You're with him. You've betrayed me! You brought him here to kill me!", Anakin shouted furiously.
"NO! Anakin. I swear ... I ...", Padmé implored, feeling an invisible grip tightening around her throat. As she started to choke, she grabbed her throat, desperately trying to ease the constriction.
"Let her go Anakin", Obi-Wan shouted.
At that moment Anakin jerked awake from his nightmare and found he was bathing in his own sweat. It was not just how horrible the nightmare was, but how vivid. It was how he saw every detail of what happened that day on Mustafar. He saw the pain in Padmé's eyes as she begged him to come away with her and raise their child on Naboo. He saw how her heart broke right in front of him as she saw the monster that he had become. And then worst of all, he had seen how he had raised his hand to her and choked his her, as she desperately tried to free herself of his hold around her neck. He ran a hand through his sweaty locks as he entered his fresher and splashed his face to cool off. As he lifted his head to face himself in the mirror, he caught a glance of the large scar on his back that read his wife's name. It was another painful reminder of what he had done, and it was something that no matter what he said and did he could never take back or atone for. Realising it was pointless to try and sleep Anakin put on a cloak and went down to the medical bay to see Padmé.
As he entered the room, he noticed all the lights had been dimmed, with only one soft light casting over his wife's chamber. As he approached her, he was unable to contain his emotions as he fell to his knees and tears streamed down his face.
"My love, please forgive me for all I have done. I know this apology can never cover the magnitude of sins I have committed and all the suffering that I have caused you, but I have to say it, nonetheless. For eight years I lived as a shell of a man, hollow and empty in servitude to that monster believing I had destroyed all that I ever loved and cared about in this galaxy. And then you come back to me, and not only that but you still love me and have given me two beautiful children. But despite knowing now that I did not kill you on that platform on Mustafar it does not change what I did. It crushes me when I think of what I did to you that day, Padmé. I was so consumed by hatred and anger that I was able to hurt the thing I cared about most, more than anything in the galaxy. I was able to raise my hand to you, my wife, and it is something I will never ever forgive myself for. I am amazed that you can forgive the unforgivable. But know Padmé, that once you are back here with me, I will spend every minute of every day trying to earn that forgiveness", he stated desperately, his mind burning as he saw the image of himself standing in front of Padmé with his hand outstretched using the force to choke her and their unborn child.
"I am a monster", he continued, feeling the hatred for himself building as he remained on his knees in front of his wife's chamber. Anakin was not sure whether Padmé was able to hear him through the glass and because she was unconscious. But a part of him hoped that through their connection she was able to feel his presence and know the pain and remorse he felt for all he had done. "Please come back to me, my angel. I need you. Without you I am lost", he finished. He took several moments to compose himself before he stood slowly from his position on the floor and then moved to the guest chair that was situated in the corner of the suite. He decided that there he would stay until Padmé was brought out of stasis.
Exhaustion finally overwhelmed him as he fell asleep in the small chair in the corner of the room. Several hours passed before he was awoken by a medical droid conducting the routine check-ups on his wife. He rubbed his eyes tiredly and stood from the chair, his body aching from the awkward position he must have fallen asleep in. He approached the droid slowly, not wanting to disturb it as it attended to his wife. After several silent moments, the droid turned to Anakin and said,
"She appears to be recovering well My Lord. Her brain is at 90% optimal functionality. The Senator has responded well to the induced suspended animation", the droid reported.
"Do you know when she will be pulled from her stasis?", Anakin asked.
"I want to confer with the other medical droid. But I think that if we continue to monitor her and she continues to progress, it would be sensible to pull her from stasis tonight. We do not want her to be in suspended animation for an extended period. It is better for her brain, now it is recovered to function on its own", the droid informed Anakin.
"That is good news", Anakin replied, relieved to hear that Padmé was recovering and that he may be able to hold his angel's hand tonight. "I do not anticipate being called away from the establishments, so please inform me as soon as you plan on waking her. I want to be right by her side", he added passionately.
"Of course, Lord Vader", the droid said. "I have been asked to remind you that you have your health check-up today, following the accident. When would be most convenient for you to do so?", the droid asked.
"I am here now", Anakin stated. Truthfully, he had forgotten about his check-up. Since the accident, Anakin had thought of little other than Padmé. He hoped that if he were given the all-clear he could train to pass the time before Padmé was brought around from stasis.
"Please sit down over here Lord Vader and I will conduct the tests now", the droid told him. Anakin did as he was instructed and took a seat on the medical bed that was adjacent to his wife's stasis chamber. He sat in silence as the droid conducted several tests, including taking his blood pressure and testing his lung capacity.
"It appears all of your vitals are normal, and your lung capacity has not been affected following the punctured lung you sustained. Your lung capacity is at about 90% optimisation, which is remarkable considering the injuries you suffered several years ago. I trust you aren't experiencing any difficulty breathing", the droid asked.
"Nothing more than usual. When I overexert myself during training, I can find myself short of breath. But when I hyper oxygenate with my mask I am fully recovered in a short period. Am I able to train today?", Anakin asked.
"I recommend you limit your exertion for the next couple of days, to give your body a bit more time to recover following the accident", the droid responded.
"I will try to limit the strain. But it is important I maintain my training", Anakin stated.
"I understand Lord Vader", the droid replied.
Anakin put his shirt back on and got up off the medical bed and turned to leave the room. "Inform me if anything changes. I will return in several hours before you awaken her", he told the droid before leaving.
"Yes, My Lord", the droid responded.
Despite how exhausted he felt, Anakin knew he needed to get in the gymnasium and train. Every muscle in his body told him that he should not train for he was too tired. But he knew it was moments like this that could make the difference between winning and losing against Sidious. And losing was not an option, because that would mean losing his family as well, and he could never let that happen. He entered his chambers and quickly changed into some suitable attire before he changed his mind and collapsed onto his bed. He called his sabre to his hand and headed for the gymnasium, hoping it would help the time pass before he could see Padmé.
A couple of hours later Anakin emerged from the elevator that had brought him up from the gym. He ran his gloved hand through his sweaty hair, before heading to his chambers to shower. He had pushed himself physically hard as normal, but to comply with the doctor's orders he had practised more intently his mental strength and connection to the force. He had tried to feel the objects around him that he had set up and tried to predict their future movements. It reminded him of the exercise he had set his children to practice their connection to the force. It had overwhelmed Anakin how much he had found himself connecting to the light side of the force during his session. For the last eight years, the emotions of hatred and anger had fuelled his connection the dark side and aided his training. But he now felt himself being pulled further towards the light side, and he knew it was because of the love he bore for his children and Padmé, and the love they reciprocated to him. With them in his life he found his ties to the dark side being cut, and the hold that Sidious had over him was loosening exponentially. But Anakin knew he needed to buy his time. He needed to build his strength and wait for the right time before he could meet his maker and pay him in kindness for all he had done.
As he stepped into the warm shower, he felt his aching body relax under the soothing pressure from the water above. Despite going to the Senate to see the Emperor, it had done nothing to calm his nerves, and he was unsure when he would next be summoned by his master. He knew that the Emperor would demand a swift end to the investigation, so that his plans could continue once the Senate resumed. It pained him that he would be stolen away from his wife not long after she had awoken from her stasis. But he knew that he was doing this for their future together, and that of his family. He knew that his actions now would aid in his revenge on his master, and on the day when he would bring peace to the galaxy and balance to the force. Once Anakin got out of the shower, he decided he needed to try and eat something before returning to the medical bay. He was already exhausted and hugely sleep deprived and he did not want to cause Padmé any further stress by seeing how he had neglected himself. He headed to the kitchen and picked out a ration packet that he devoured, not realising how hungry he was, for he had been so consumed with thoughts of his wife.
As evening fell on Coruscant, Anakin took a moment to watch the busy skylanes from his kitchen window. There was something oddly soothing about the view outside. For a brief moment, Anakin did not feel as though he was drowning in the worries of his wife. He was simply a man looking out, watching the sunset on another day on Coruscant. As he watched the sun disappear beyond the skyline, he exhaled deeply, trying to calm himself. The medical droid had informed him that Padmé would be brought from the stasis chamber tonight, and now that the time finally came, he was so worried that something was going to happen. He could not face anything more happening to his beloved angel. He would have traded places with her in a heartbeat, and he wished more than anything that he could. I have caused her so much suffering, Anakin thought to himself, as Sidious' visions continued to play in his mind. He dismissed the visions as best he could and headed for the medical bay.
When Anakin entered the room, he saw both medical droids looking over Padmé's chamber, and noticed C3PO was stood in the corner of the room.
"Good evening Master. I trust you had a successful training session", C3PO asked him, noticing his arrival.
"It was sufficient", Anakin replied, distracted by thoughts of his wife. "What is her status?", Anakin asked the medical droid, who remained close to the stasis chamber.
"We have just completed our final tests on the Senator My Lord. We are happy that her body has had sufficient time in a period of suspended animation to recover from the trauma she experienced. We are going to release her from her state of animation slowly over the next couple of hours.", the droid replied.
Anakin exhaled deeply before saying, "That is good news".
"Once we remove her from the chamber, we will bring her around slowly, presenting her with a variety of stimuli to test her brain and neuron activation. She will benefit from you staying here and hearing your voice", the droid continued.
"Of course. I will not leave her side", Anakin replied.
"Despite having been in a period of suspended animation, the Senator will likely feel very fatigued. The stasis has given her brain the chance to recover, but consequently it will have neglected to further heal any physical wounds she sustained after the accident", the larger of the two medical droids stated.
"I am here to commit everything to her care", Anakin stated, knowing that it would be beneficial for both his wife and he to sleep, once he was confident, she was okay.
"Yes, My Lord", the droid responded.
"I am here to fetch Miss Padmé some food once she wakes up", Threepio chimed, seeing an opportunity to explain his presence.
"What should she eat?", Anakin asked one of the medical droids.
"Nothing too substantial. Something easily digestible, but high in protein", the droid answered.
"Threepio prepare her that meat broth you used to make for us during the clone wars, and some strawberries, they are her favourite", Anakin ordered the golden droid.
"Yes, Master", Threepio replied before departing the bay to start preparing the food.
Anakin turned his head back to Padmé, as he heard the hissing sound of the chamber door opening. The droid carefully controlled the hoist that lifted Padmé from the chamber and onto the medical bed next to it. Anakin moved next to his wife's unconscious body, as the droids set about putting her on a ventilator and adding an intravenous drip in her arm.
"This stimulant will bring her around slowly over the next hour or so. Her brain will gradually start to process more stimuli, starting with her hearing and touch, before she will be able to see and speak. She will be able to hear you Lord Vader, and soon she will be back as though she has awakened from a very deep sleep", the droid explained.
"Understood", Anakin replied, as he took a seat next to his wife's bed and picked up her hand and kissed it softly. "I missed you Angel", Anakin told his wife. He couldn't believe how beautiful she looked as he studied the details of her face. He had always been enchanted by her chocolate brown curls, and her silky skin and her soft pink lips. Since Padmé had come back into his life, he felt as though he had taken for granted the simple pleasures of being able to kiss his wife and smell the sweet scent of her hair. But never again would he take for granted such pleasures, and he would spend every moment being eternally grateful for having his angel back in his life.
Anakin watched silently as the time passed slowly and he waited for her to awaken. He kissed her hand again and said, "I am here Padmé. I promise I will never leave you. Please, I just need to hear your voice again and tell you how much I love you. I want to tell you how much I miss the smell of your hair, and the sound of your laugh or the feel of your skin next to mine. I want to tell you how amazing a mother you are to Luke and Leia and how I will never be able to repay those gifts you have given me. I was a slave boy on Tatooine, and you were a Queen, and I was silly enough to believe I would marry you one day. But never could I have imagined that as a humble Jedi Knight you would give me the pleasure of marrying you. You know when we were on Alderaan, Obi-Wan commented on how strong our connection was, especially because you aren't force sensitive. And I told him that since I was a boy my connection to you had consumed me. He said he now understood how hard it must have been to keep it a secret, and how I went against the Jedi Code by forming such an attachment. And I told him that I would have gone against the Galaxy to marry you Padmé. I truly mean that. I have done a lot of bad things in my life, and I have so many regrets, but never have I ever regretted marrying you for a second. You love was such a gift to me Padmé, a gift I did not and do not deserve. But now more than ever, I want to be the man that you married at Lake Varykino, I want to be Anakin Skywalker, the Chosen One, and I want to return balance to the force and peace to the Galaxy, and I want to do it all for you Padmé", Anakin told his wife passionately.
He stood up from the chair where he sat next to Padmé and asked the medical droid, "Why isn't she awake yet? It has been longer than you anticipated.".
The droid approached him and looked at Padmé and said, "All of your wife's vitals are normal My Lord. She will be returning to a state of consciousness slowly, and it is difficult to accuracy predict exactly when she will awaken", the droid explained.
"Please, Angel. Wake up soon", Anakin stated, looking towards the sleeping form of his wife.