Steve sat on the examining table, kicking his legs back and forth. He was at his doctor's appointment, and was nervous to find out how the doctor would answer his questions. He didn't want to be told there was nothing else he could do. What kind of life was it if you were stuck on medication? Especially starting at a young age.

"You can't sit still can you?" Mr. Randle asked from his seat in the chair.

"Sorry," Steve said, "Not like I can smoke in here."

"Shouldn't be smoking in the first place," Mr. Randle said as he flipped pages of a magazine, "What do you plan on telling the doctor?"

"I just want to ask if I have other options to handle this. The pills were good for getting me to sleep, but waking up groggy and just feeling off is getting to me," Steve lied. He actually never felt groggy in the mornings. The pills helped him get great sleep, but there had to be other options.

"You need to listen to what the doctor tells you though."

"I know that dad," Steve said quietly.

"If he tells you to keep taking the pills, you better take them," Mr. Randle said.

Steve sighed. He couldn't tell his dad why he really couldn't take them. He was starting to feel like shit, and Two-Bit was clearly starting to notice. If Steve took another pill though, he'd feel even worse and possibly more sick. He lay his head into his hands as he began feeling nauseous from the flashbacks of Soda holding his pill bottle.

Soda was sitting on the back porch with a cigarette between his lips. He was lost in his own thoughts. He was beginning to feel numb, too numb to cry anymore. Any feelings were beginning to drain as he was too focused on the funeral and his speech. Soda had completely put the grieving process on the back burner, and for the moment he was happy to not deal with it.

The back door opened, and Johnny took a seat next to Soda, fishing out his own cigarette.

"How's it going Johnnycake?" Soda asked.

"Alright," Johnny said, "What are you doing out here alone?"

"Just thinking about the funeral," Soda sighed, "It's going to come quick."

"The days are slow, but it will come quick," Johnny agreed.

"I'm trying to think of what to say."

"You are going to make a speech?"

Soda shrugged, "I don't know I guess. I want to. But every time the paper and pen are in front of me, I have no clue what to write down. Damn, I have to say something though. He was my life Johnny."

"Mine too," Johnny nodded.

Soda placed a hand upon Johnny's knee, "Johnny, I want you to know I want to be here for you."

"Oh Soda you have your own shit to deal with," Johnny looked down, "You have Darry to help you and you have to help him."

"We all need to help each other. We all need to be here for each other. Isn't that why you all are here at my house and not leaving?"

Johnny grinned, "Yeah pretty much."

"Me and you were the closest to Ponyboy. We were his rocks through any tough times. I just know we could relate the most through this, so...I'm here for you. For anything."

"Me too Soda. I'm here for you too."

Soda smiled as he took the last drag of his cigarette. He dropped it to the porch and stomped on it.

"Maybe you shouldn't write one."

Soda looked over at Johnny, "What?"

"Maybe you shouldn't write a speech."

"You think I really shouldn't?"

"I think it could stress you out more, especially on the day. Don't write anything. Just walk up there and speak."

"Hello Steve," the doctor walked into the room, "Hope you weren't waiting too long."

"Naw," Mr. Randle set the magazine aside, "He may have kicked a new dent into the table though."

The doctor grinned, "Wouldn't be the first time. Not exactly a soothing room. So what brings you in today Steve?"

"I want to talk about my pills."

"How have they been working out?" the doctor asked, "Has your sleeping improved?"

Steve ran his hand up and down his leg, "Good, they help me get to sleep fine, but I have been feeling off too."

"Off in what way?"

"Just a little too groggy in the morning, like it's hard to get up because I'm too tired still. They just don't make me feel the greatest," Steve said, "I was just wondering if there were other options to dealing with insomnia?"

"Well, unfortunately at this time, we don't have a whole lot of studies on insomnia. It's something still getting studied on. However, if you want to try other tactics, you know we've talked about the light therapy. We've talked about not just laying in bed if you're awake. The other options are basically training your body how to be awake during the day and how to properly fall asleep at night," the doctor explained, "But you know, you can see how it works for you. You can see how your body handles sleeping after being on the medicine for some time. You just can't stop the pills immediately though."

"Why not?" Steve asked.

"It can have some serious effects on your body. Your body has built a tolerance to his drug and expects it, stopping or interrupting the cycle can cause withdrawals, and I can't say how your body will handle it, because everyone's body is different. You could feel worst than you do. You could have mild symptoms, you could have serious symptoms that could put you in the hospital."

Steve threw his head back, "Damn."

"Have you stopped taking them?"

Steve swallowed hard, "No."

"I'm just curious, because your vitals came back a little concerning. Your blood pressure is a little high and your heartbeat seemed off."

"Damnit Steve," Mr. Randle said, "I told you not to stop taking your pills."

The doctor looked up at Steve with a concerning look, "Look Steve, if the pills are bothering you, we can find a healthy way to get off of them. Stopping them or taking them not on schedule can have some serious side effects as I mentioned. This won't do your body any good. But the other concern is that if you do eventually get off your pills and rely on your own physical therapy and discipline, it won't guarantee to help. You could still not get any sleep, and that will harm your body too."

Steve groaned, "So I'm just screwed either way?"

The doctor stood from his chair and pulled out a little light. He shined it into Steve's eyes to check his pupils, "I am sorry Steve. We just don't know much about insomnia." Putting his light away, he placed the stethoscope upon Steve's chest and listened.

"I can't believe this," Steve muttered.

The doctor replaced the stethoscope around his neck, "Steve, your vitals are really concerning me. If you want to truly try to be off your pills, you need to do it the right away. So I need you to get back on them starting tonight, and take them for some time before we can do any transition. I don't want to see you end up in the hospital."

Back in his dad's truck, Steve wasn't too thrilled about the doctor's visit. It seemed to leave him with no other option, and now he had to worry about what his body was currently going through off the pills. He couldn't hide the fact he had quit the pills either. His body was giving the signs he had obviously changed his habits.

Mr. Randle started up the truck, "You lied to me."

"No," Steve muttered.

"Don't bullshit me Steve!"

"I ain't lying!"

"The doctor said your vitals are off, and even if they weren't I can tell something is off, because you look like shit!"

"Dad, I'm fine!" Steve barked back. He felt his heart begin to race from the stress.

"Boy you better not be trying to convince me otherwise. You are asking for some trouble."

Steve didn't respond. He felt a little sick and wanted the conversation to be over. He almost felt like he had a hangover without the alcohol to cause it. The duo returned to their house. Steve saw a figure standing next to a car in front of his house. It was Two-Bit, and Steve wasn't too shocked to see him there. He wasn't in the mood to talk to Two-Bit, but he knew there wouldn't be much choice.

"Well I need to go to work," Mr. Randle said as he pulled the truck up towards the house, "Go get some rest."

"Okay. Thanks for the ride dad," Steve exited the truck and walked over to Two-Bit, "You been here long?"

Two-Bit shook his head, "Not really. How was the doctor's appointment?"

Steve rolled his eyes, "Kind of pointless. There's really nothing else they can do. I can slowly take my time to get off the medicine and just take the chance to see how my body handles sleep, try different therapies. Kind of bullshit pretty much."

"It seems like you've taken it into your own hands anyway," Two-Bit said.

"Don't start with me man," Steve shook his head. He put a hand up to block the shining sun as it was only making his head throb.

"Oh don't worry, I won't be long, because you look like you need to throw up or pass out or maybe fucking sleep," Two-Bit reached into his pocket and held out Steve's pills, "These were still at Soda's house, hidden away."

"So Soda couldn't find them," Steve shrugged.

"Why didn't you just bring them home?"

Steve shook his head, "I don't know."

"Steve, I know they scare you..."

"Oh shut it Two-Bit," Steve growled.

"Then why won't you take them from me?"

Steve snapped them from Two-Bit and held them up, "There? Are you happy?"

"Steve, you can't just..."

"Shut up Two-Bit! Just shut the hell up!" Steve barked, "Do you have any idea what I've been through? Do you! What do you want to hear? Huh? Yes I'm fucking terrified of my pills right now! Every time I look at them, I get flashes of Soda in my head that make me want to rip my eyes out so I never have to see it again!"

Two-Bit nodded angrily, tears forming in his own eyes, "I get it Steve. I fucking get it. But I do think you forgot something. I was there too! I saw it too! I went through the same damn thing!" Steve looked away from Two-Bit. He knew he was there. He knew Two-Bit went through the same terrifying realization of what Soda was going to try to do. He knew all of that, but he couldn't possibly revisit it with him.

"Two-Bit," Steve took a deep breath, "I'm sorry. I know you were..."

"Just shut it," Two-Bit wiped at his eyes, refusing to let any tears fall, "Just fucking tell me what you need. What needs to be done to make you take these pills again?" Two-Bit swiped the pills back from Steve, shaking the bottle with frustration.

"Do I need to hold onto them for you? Is that it?"

Steve shrugged, "I don't know man."

"Think Steve. Just think."

Steve looked at Two-Bit, at the pills in his hand, and back at Two-Bit. "I...I don't think I can take them alone."

"Fine. Let's go inside."

"Right now?"

"Yes, right now. You can't go back to Soda's in your condition right now," Two-Bit said, "You look like shit and I can tell you feel like shit too."

Steve followed Two-Bit into his house. They walked upstairs and into Steve's room. Steve slipped his shoes off and sat onto his bed. "I do feel like shit."

"I know you do."

"My doctor already knew I stopped taking them," Steve hung his head, "My vitals made it obvious."

"You're going to hurt yourself," Two-Bit sighed, "I'll be here, watching you take them from now on. You don't have to be alone."

Steve's lips quivered and a tear fell down onto his arm, "If Soda finds out..."

"Stop. He's not going to find out, okay? We will keep this between us," Two-Bit said as he opened the bottle, "Soda has a lot going on, and I already know you aren't going to stop being there for him. But to be there for him, you have to be okay too."

Steve looked up at Two-Bit as tears fell down his cheeks, "I know. He can't know about this."

"He won't. This is between us. I will help you and be here with you through this. Okay?" Two-Bit asked handing Steve a pill.

At first, Steve just stared at it. The sight of the pill still scared him. It brought nasty feelings inside. "I'm scared still," Steve admitted.

"I know buddy, but to get rid of those bad feelings, you'll need to face them."

Steve knew Two-Bit was right. He couldn't fight the demons if he let them win. Slowly, he grabbed the pill from Two-Bit and placed it in his mouth.