"B-type harmonics check out green,everything's normal."Maya reported.
"And as expected Shinji's last sync score was more than just a fluke,he's holding at 100%. Impressive,even for him."Ritsuko commented.
"It's good to hear that our pilots are doing well,even if it's not surprising."Misato commented with a yawn.
"You look very tired today Major Katsuragi."Hyuga commented, Misato looking away with a slight chuckle.
"Well,there's a reason for that."She said somewhat cryptically,at least by her standards.
"Kaji-kun again I'm guessing."Ritsuko said teasingly,Misato crossing her arms as she stuck out her tongue at the doctor.
"You're just jealous I'm getting more dates in the last week than you have your entire life."Misato said before a small beep indicated that one of the pilots wished to speak with her.
"Hey,Misato,how am I doing?"Asuka asked,the question of 'did I beat Shinji?' left unspoken even if everyone in the room knew that in the end that was what truly mattered to the redhead.
"You're holding at 92%"Misato said as she waited for the inevitable outburst from the redheaded wonder pilot,it never came.
"Still 8 points short uh.."Was the only thing that left her mouth for the remainder of the test.
"Shinji's beat us again."Asuka commented as she brought up her skirt,putting it on.
Ayanami nodded behind her. "That he has,Pilot Ikari synchronization ratio seems to have jumped by a large amount since you two have come together."
Asuka gave a slight chuckle. "Don't stay stupid things, it's not like just because baka-Shinji likes me that he's gonna get a higher synchronization rate."
"Of course it is."Rei said. "The Evangelion is a machine of the earth,if his heart is happy the Evangelion too will answer in kind,and you make pilot Ikari happy."
Asuka smiled slightly at those words, it seemed that even wundergirl,whom she'd once considered a rival to Shinji's affections,recognized the fact that she made Shinji happy. She liked that,she liked making him feel happy.
A pair of arms wrapped themselves around Shinji's shoulders as he left the changing room for the pilots,a smile spreading across his face at the familiar gesture of affection coming from Asuka.
"Allo Baka-Shinji."
"Hey Asuka."He greeted her. "You seem happy today,did you manage to beat my score?"
She shook her head. "Nein, but it's only a matter of time. I'm happy because you, baka, are mine."
Shinji blushed. "Don't say things like that."
"Ohh,what's the matter first?"She asked in a teasing tone. "Embarrassed? Well,I'll say it as many times as I want,mine,mine,mine,mine you're just mine."
Shinji was now pure red,his face seeming to match the hair of the girl whose arms were wrapped around him. "S-stop it."
Asuka did not acquiesce to the request of her fellow pilot,in fact she did even worse,nibbling him in the ear and causing him to fidget uncomfortably in the spot.
"du gehörst mir."[1]She whispered in his ear and,if he could blush any more,he truly would have. Asuka giggled slightly, teasing her boyfriend really was fun,she should do it more often.
Misato walked past the pilots,who seemed to be walking in the direction of where they were housed, Shinji looked off however.
"Hey Shinji,is everything okay?"She asked, the boy in question looked at her with a nod.
"E-everything's just fine Misato, it's just Asuka being mean to me."Shinji said as he gave her a glare,a soft glow in his cheeks, was he sick?
"Come on now Asuka, you need to be nicer to Shinji,i know you guys don't get along but it's your job to work together." Misato said in a more official tone,the girl in question crossing her arms.
"Well,it's not my fault Baka-Shinji here is such a sensitive soul,i was just teasing him a little." Asuka said.
Misato's mind flashed back to when she had to take care of ten year old Asuka, if such a time was any indication of how she was now then Misato was aware of just how cruel her 'teasing' could be,then again, Shinji was Shinji so she was sure things would turn out alright in the end.
"Well,just try to get along better,okay?"Misato asked,to which both pilots gave a confused look before she walked away.
Really,was it so hard for them to just not to hate each-other?
"Did she just..."Asuka began as she watched the major walk away.
"Ask us to get along better?I think she did."Shinji commented,they both looked at each-other with confusion in their face.
"How the hell are we supposed to do that? We already sleep in the same bed and unless she's encouraging us to...you know,then there's no way we could possibly get along any better." Asuka said,Shinji nodded.
"Talking about getting along."Shinji said. "I believe my daily quota of kisses has yet to be fulfilled."
Asuka grew a smile at this, leaning her face closer to his. "Oh,are you truly so desperate for my affections first child?"
"I don't know third, I do think it's better than playing hard to get like you do."He replied jokingly. "Unless you're saying you don't enjoy my kisses?"
"Well,i don't have anything to compare them to but.."She gave him a quick peck on the lips. "I would say you're a fantastic kisser."
"Care to test that theory?"He asked, she smiled.
"Well, repetition is the basis for proving a theory isn't it?"Asuka asked.
"We're both so romantic." Shinji commented sarcastically before Asuka pushed her lips into his.
A car was consumed by a growing a shadow,then a building,and then another,and then sphere of black and white,stripped like a zebra, appeared in the heavens. From a distance,a boy with white hair floated slightly above the ground as he watched,his eyes narrowing.
"So you have arrived sister." He commented,looking down. "Bring the jaws of god upon man and show unto him his true nature of this world. Choose now,between the lie of power or the disappointment of knowledge."
Misato rushed into the bridge as alarms blared all around her. "What's going on?Is is it an Angel?"
"We're still not sure,the target simply appeared above the city without any prior warning."Hyuga said, Misato looked at the screen.
"What about the mount Fuji observation center?"She asked.
"We received no reports from it,hell,even now only our short-range scanners are picking up anything other than white noise from the target's position."Ritsuko said.
"The magi are unsure if it's an Angel,it's pattern has been classified as Orange by both Caspar and Balthasar, Melchior voted for pattern blue classification."Maya said.
"Melchior..cocky as always."Ritsuko commented.
"So,one in three odds that this is an Angel?"Misato asked. "Go into stage one alert,get the citizens into evacuation shelters and page the pilots."
Although the alarms had been sounded Shinji managed to grab a hold of Asuka before she could walk into the changing room for the female pilots.
"Hey..can we speak,just a second."Shinji said,Asuka looked at him with some confusion in her eyes.
"Sure,just be quick baka-Shinji"She said to which he nodded as they both sat down on a bench.
"I just...i wanted to say that...I'm worried." Shinji admitted,looking down with a downtrodden expression in his face. "I'm worried about going out to battle and seeing you be hurt."
Asuka nodded as she reached out for his hand. "I'm worried as well Shinji..but,we've been fighting side by side since that day on the over the rainbow,whatever happens we'll be there for each other. So even if that angel's difficult as all hell to defeat,so what?We've done the impossible together before,let's do it again."
Shinji smiled. "Thank you...it makes me feel a lot better..and no matter what,just be sure of this...I'll protect you for sure."
"Don't go sacrificing yourself today for my sake,got it Shinji?"She asked with a serious expression in her face. Shinji nodded.
"Whatever happens..i promise I'll come back."
The three Evas were deployed all around the target,the purple form of unit-01 being the first to approach it. Peeking out from a building to look at the angel's spherical form.
"Sohryu,Ayanami,report." He ordered,his voice cold and calculating as it nearly always was during battle.
"This is Ayanami,i am not in position yet."The blue haired girl reported as she advanced her unit with rifle in hand.
"Neither am I,this thing just had to attack the middle of the city didn't it?"Asuka said in annoyance "It's hard as hell to maneuver around here!"
Shinji peeked out toward the angel once again, the spherical form of the floating creature still apparent as it hovered,utterly still. Shinji focused inward, pushing out the AT field of his Evangelion,the darkness that surrounded him was all encompassing,save for two other glowing lights,those of the other units rather than that of the Angel.
It makes no sense,if this thing is an Angel I should be able to see it's AT field,shouldn't I? He asked himself. Shinji watched Unit-02 approach from the other end of the city,arriving after having to replace it's umbilical cable.
"I'm in position."Asuka reported. Shinji nodded.
"Ayanami?" He asked. The figure of Unit-00 appeared peeking from behind a building moments later.
"I am in position."She reported.
"Roger,opening fire,cover me."Shinji said as he pointed the pistol in his hand at the Angel and opened fire,a round taking flight before the Angel disappeared. "Its gone?"
"Pattern blue detected!"Hyuga reported. "It's right below Evangelion unit-01!"
"What?that's impossible!" Ritsuko said.
"Shinji,dodge!"
"Shinji,dodge!"
Shinji did not have time to do as ordered, the Angel's shadow appeared below him,consuming his feet at a frighteningly quick pace,it felt as if his Nerves there went dead,no pain,nothing,just cold.
"What the hell is this?!"Shinji asked as he pointed his pistol down and shot,the rounds seeming to have no effect on the Angelic shadow as they were consumed by the darkness. Then his legs began to be consumed,as if angel realized that the Evangelion was attempting to kill it.
"Asuka,Ayanami,help me!"He begged. Asuka's unit was first to respond, ramming the axe in it's hand at the quickly expanding shadowy ground,it's blade disppearing below the advancing shadow as Unit-02's feet were nearly consumed,the unit jumping back at the very last second.
"Shinji!"Asuka cried out.
A trigger was pressed,the deafening sound of gunfire as unit-00 opened fire on the sphere above it, no effect as it disappeared once more,appearing below the unit and forcing it to climb into a nearby building,abandoning it's rifle as it did.
Then,the purple form of unit-01 was confused fully by the darkness it's hand reaching out to the heavens above in one last attempt at freeing itself.
Back in the command bridge,everyone looked at what had just happened in shock...then,a voice broke through the silence. "Pilot Ikari is still in there..Unit-01,i can feel it."
"Rei,Asuka...retreat."Misato said.
"We can't, Baka-Shinji's stil-"Asuka began,but was quickly interrupted.
"I said retreat!"Misato's voice cracked as she spoke. "That's an order..."
The two units were forced to comply,slowly moving away from the growing shadow,both of their pilots with a heavy heart.
White,just white,nothing else as far as they eye could see,simply a white horizon without a concept of time and space,no radar or sonar or anything else,just silence,silence and darkness.
"Shutdown into power saving mode." Shinji said,the unit complying and causing the image of the dimension around him to fade away.
Shinji sighed. "16 hours of life support..."He clicked his wrist,the seconds started counting up. "Someone...please help me."
And so,he waited.
Twelve hours had passed,twelve hours since unit-01 was consumed by darkness,twelve hours since Shinji and his invincible unit were taken into the Angel and had yet to return. Twelve hours had passed and Asuka was still looking outward at the spherical form of the angel with hatred in her eyes, twelve hours it held him there,twelve hours had passed and she could do nothing,just sit beside her unit and wait for anything to happen.
Rei sat atop her unit instead of beside it,she was standing up,she had been standing up for hours yet her legs didn't seem to hurt,she just looked outward at the angel with a neutral expression,but the slightest of movements in her eyebrow gave away the rage that she too held for the spherical creature that held the other pilot.
Do I deserve this?Is this a punishment,for what? Haven't I suffered enough, haven't I tried to make up for everything that I did wrong?
Asuka's hand reached for the necklace,that heart, he had given it to her yesterday and if it were not for it she would have nothing,nothing to remember him by,nothing to signify his existence,not even a body.
"Idiot...what was he thinking."She said,her face in her legs as she forced herself not to cry.
She was a grown up,grown ups didn't cry,not even when people they cared about where hurt. She needed to remind herself of that most of all at that moment,because deep down,she really,really wanted to cry.
Darkness,an overwhelming amount of it surrounded Shinji Ikari as he sat in the entry plug of his unit. The nightmares had returned.
"I forgot sleep could be this exhausting."Ever since he'd had Asuka sleep had become what he supposed it must have been for most others,reprieve and rest from the worries of the waking world,and yet...without her all there was were nightmares,the same that had assaulted his mind for a decade and didn't seem to want to go away.
With an exhausted sigh he willed his unit to activate with a click,still nothing but white. "No white noise,nothig,it's impossible...this must be a sea of Dirac. If that's the case then...escaping isn't possible."
He looked at the timer in his wrist,12 hours. "Even in a best case scenario I've only got 4 or 5 hours left..but I'll probably go unconscious sooner. After that...I'll be dead."
Silence.
"I'm sorry Asuka."
Maya looked outward at the angel,an helicopter overflew it's position. "Major Katsuragi must feel awful."
Ritsuko nodded,herself rather downcast. "Even after reeling in Shinji's cable unit-01 has yet to be recovered...and the batteries will only last him 16 hours in minimum expenditure mode, which means he has 5 hours remaining..."She sighed. "I really hope he does make it back safely."
Church bells rang out through the silence of the temporary camp,two Evas of opposing color stood side by ,a report cut thought the silence.
"The second tank battalion's been put in position."Hyuga said.
"It's pointless,i don't see why they even bother."Aoba said.
Misato lowered the binoculars she had been using to see the angel,her eyes narrowing. "It's supposed to allow us to apply pressure."
"In theory."Aoba said. "All it really is the JSSDF trying to save face and look heroic."
"You're right about that,what's the status on the angel?"Misato asked.
"Inert,it seems to have stopped growing once it reached a diameter of 600 meters." Hyuga reported.
"Are our evas prepared for the worse?"Misato asked.
"00's pilot reported in 15 minutes ago,02's pilot hasn't reported in since she last deactivated the unit" Aoba said. Misato's eyebrow rose.
"Asuka hasn't?"Misato asked. "I'll go check on her, her pride's probably wounded."
Finding Asuka ended up not being too difficult at all, Misato found her exactly where she had expected,right by the side of her unit. The look on her face told Misato everything she needed to know,Asuka was pissed.
Truthfully speaking Misato had no idea how to deal with the red haired wonder pilot, Asuka's arrogance made it hard to approach her even in the best of cases,and in a position like this it was even harder to do so.
"I don't need your pity!"The voice of ten year old Asuka echoed inside her mind,a 25 year old Misato recoiling back from her attempts to help the girl who'd just sprained her ankle. The 29 year old one sighed as she moved closer to her pilot.
"Hey Asuka." She greeted,the girl didn't respond,not really, only gave a hum that acknowledged her existence and stayed silent,eyes focused on the distant target.
Misato wondered who her hatred was directed at,the Angel or the pilot of the Eva stuck inside it. It was no secret that Asuka disliked Shinji,probably hated him in fact. Even in this situation Misato didn't really expect Asuka to act any other way toward her fellow pilot. Misato sighed.
"You know,you can't hate him forever." Misato said,Asuka's eyes redirected for a second toward her and then toward the angel again.
"I don't hate him,you're just dense."Asuka replied. "I just think he's an idiot."
"He didn't do anything you wouldn't have."Misato said,her eyes trailing over to the girl.
"He asked for my help."Asuka said, Misato supposed that perhaps that was the issue,he'd asked for help when the angel had first started to consume him,Asuka would not. And to be beaten by someone who asked for help,from her no less,it must have hurt Asuka's pride.
"I suppose that means you resent him."Misato said,Asuka shook her head.
"I just want him to come back."Those words,or more accurately the honesty in them caught Misato off-guard,for Asuka to admit she wanted Shinji to come back,it surprised her.
"So do I."Misato said.
"No,you don't understand." Asuka said,Misato shook her head. Maybe she'd read Asuka wrong, she'd taken her words to mean she was worried for the other pilot,but it seemed like that was not the case.
"He could be dead."Misato said. He could be dead and all you're thinking about is how you won't be able to beat him if he is..
"He won't be."Asuka said,her voice was sure. "He won't be."
"You don't know that."Misato said. "He may nev-"
"He will come back!"Asuka said,she sounded...not sure,not anymore...almost as if she was speaking to herself rather than to Misato. The girl's fist clenched. "He'll come back..he promised he would."
Asuka's hand reached for the trinket around her neck, Misato had not paid it much mind when she'd first seen it, having taken it as being nothing more than just another one of Asuka's frivolities, but this...this meant something more to her,the fact she even had it while her plug-suit was on was one thing,but the way she was grabbing it..like my rosary..she's holding it like I held that rosary.
Misato leaned in slightly, trying to get a good look at it...a heart,or rather,half of one. Her mind flashed to earlier, to the tests,Shinji had something similar in his own neck,a half heart.
A half heart...Shinji has one as well..and she's holding it...holding it like I hold the rosary my father gave me,she...Asuka...and Shinji?
Asuka and Shinji,the rivals,in love?No,that idea felt ludicrous to Misato, hell,she'd been sure just 5 minutes ago that they hated each-other,that they really,truly did hate each-other with all of their might,and yet here she was considering the possibility that Asuka Langley Sohryu and Shinji Ikari might be in love.
"It's...a beautiful necklace."Misato said,her intentions were obvious.
"It's just some cheap trinket."Asuka said,though the way she held onto it showed the truth.
"Not to you."Misato said,not a question,but a statement.
"Gott.."Asuka sounded sad,sadder than Misato had seen her before. "I miss him."
Misato brought Asuka closer,pulling her into a hug. There was much to be said about the fact the red-head didn't complain. "I miss him so much." She repeated,her voice cracking.
"I know." Misato said as Asuka put her face on her shirt. The girl was clearly stifling her desire to cry.
"I didn't...i never said..i never told him I loved him."Asuka nearly cried,her words filled with such sorrow that Misato felt incredibly guilty at having ever considered that the girl in her arms could have ever hated the pilot that was now lost,temporarily lost, inside the angel. Misato ran a hand through the pilot's red hair.
"It's gonna be okay..it's gonna be okay."She whispered.
Shinji was alone,the plug was dark,too dark,so dark. He was afraid, afraid of the darkness, of being alone. Of being forgotten.
The LCL was starting to break down into an impure liquid,the purification systems of the plug were shutting down, Shinji's head was in his legs. He was afraid, afraid of everything. Afraid of death.
He had so much,so much to lose.
It is said that in the moments before one dies their life flashes before their eyes. Shinji's life did not flash before his eyes,but the people he love did.
Ritsuko. Ritsuko,he still remembered the first time he'd met her,he'd be scared then,just like he'd been scared of Naoko. But she had been kind,she had not resented him,even after he caused her mother to jump off the bridge. She was his mother,he didn't care if Yui could hear his thoughts,Ritsuko had done more for him than Yui Ikari ever had.
Misato. What was there to be said about the big sister of his life, a ray of sunshine among a torrent of misery and pain, the most traumatized among his group of loved ones yet also the most cheery of them all,her mental fortitude was incredibly strong.
Father. Nothing needed to be said about his father,he was good,good enough considering the circumstances at least.
Touji,an old friend, the times they'd spent together still stuck in his mind,the only person who could truly still get a rise out of him arfter all these years, he would miss his perversion. God,i can't believe it's come to that...
Kensuke, Shinji wondered how long he would resent him for because of his refusal to make him a pilot,they had bonded over the mutual loss of their mothers,the first person Shinji had ever spoken to about it.
Hikari. The dictator of the class,she was a good friend,he wished she and Touji would get together all ready,they were made for eachother. Just like Shinji and...
"I never said...i loved her." He realized,his voice a mere whisper from the lack of oxygen...he'd never...
Asuka...Asuka,i love you Asuka...please...please don't be mad at me...i never said it,but I love you the most Asuka...Asuka please forgive me...please...it smells like blood. I don't wanna die.
I don't wanna die.
I don't wanna die.
I don't wanna die.
I don't wanna die.
I don't wanna die.
I don't wanna die...
I don't...
I don't...
I
Asuka...
"Asu...ka."
"A forced salvage?!"Misato asked, indignation and rage in her voice as she glared at the woman infront of her.
"It's the only possible option, if we drop all existing 947 N2 mines on the target,it's possible we might be able to close the imaginary circuit that makes up it's body and expel unit one." Ritsuko said,her tone of voice clinical and detached.
"Shinji can't possible survive something like that."Ritsuko shook her head.
"No,he cannot. The Eva...the eva is the priority"In despite of the fact that Ritsuko had stuttered in her words Misato was filled with rage.
How dare this woman,how dare she even for a single second say that the machine,the fucking machine was more important than the kid,the kid who had a girlfriend waiting for him,the kid who'd nearly lost his life half a dozen times to save everyone's assess.
"What kind of rescue operation is this!?"Misato demanded to know,her voice having raised itself into a shouting fit of indignant fury.
"One with the Eva as priority."Ritsuko said,looking at the ground. "the pilot is secondary."
"Secondary!?"Misato bellowed,any little semblance of sense she had removed by that word alone. "I knew it,i knew it you...you bitch!"
"Misato."
"You and the commander only care about unit one,isn't that right?!"
"Misato."
"You couldn't give a damn if Shinji lived or die-"
Slap!
Misato recoiled back,bringing a hand up to her now red cheek as the doctor looked at her with utter contempt in her eyes.
"Don't you fucking dare say I don't care about my child."Ritsuko said,Misato's eyes wide at the sheer hatred in her voice. "You're clearly hysterical,I'm taking control of this operation from now on."
Misato was left in the dark. Her child..the evolution laboratory,the days when I was in Germany,as well as before I joined Nerv...second impact,Adam...there's so much I don't know..not just about the world. But even the people close to me.
A train,no,not any train. Shinji Ikari's train of thought.
Opposite to him sat a child,no,not any child. Himself, the part of himself he tried to hide,to run away from.
Who are you?
I am Shinji Ikari.
Why do you run?
I don't run away,i can't run away.
You run away,from me. From this self that makes up your self.
It's natural to runaway from the parts of yourself that you hate.
Do you hate me because I'm afraid?
Yes
But you are afraid?
Yes.
So you hate yourself.
….
So you hate yourself.
That wasn't a question.
It was not. You deceive yourself into believing you and I are different entities,different selves,when in reality we are much the same.
No,we are different.
Shinji looked down at himself,he was wearing his casual clothes, a version of himself wearing his plug-suit appeared standing beside the version of himself that was a child.
Who?
Shinji Ikari,that is my name.
You are me.
I am the you that is shown to the world,the first child.
You aren't me,you are the first child,the first child is not me.
I am,you cannot lie and pretend to yourself that I am not.
No!That's not true,you're a murderer,I'm not you!
You are a murderer Shinji Ikari,i am you and you are I.
No that's not true. You aren't me,you aren't me. I didn't kill anyone, i'm not a murderer!
You deny the parts of your own self that you do not approve of because you fear them,you fear becoming a murderer so you become a child,you fear being a child so you become a pilot,and the cycle repeats itself.
…
In the end the only one who can be blamed for your own inadequacies is you Shinji Ikari,you wish for a world of change,for a world where everyone you love is happy and yet you are unwilling to change yourself.
You run away from those parts of you that require fixing and embrace the sweetness of the status quo,but you know it to be a lie. Happiness cannot be found in a music player,at least not for me.
Yet you continue to play the music,you continue to play the same track,always on repeat,do you hope it will change when you don't do anything,when you don't go to the effort of clicking the button?
You loathe this unchanging world,with this unchanging sun and it's unchanging seasons,but in a way they are a representation of your own self. That is why you loathe them,because you in turn hate yourself.
That's true...i can't stand my own reflection.
Why?
Because I am weak. Because I'm cowardly,because I want to run away.
Courage cannot be found in those who do not wish to run away,it is in the battle against this wish that true courage is found.
Weakness is the inability to take action,either from one's mental roadblocks or because of one's physical ones. Yet you have taken action,both mentally and physically against many enemies.
The only enemy you struggle to overcome is yourself,the only roadblock that stands in your way is your own mind.
No,that's not true,i'm not strong enough,all I'm good for is taking a bullet for others.
Persistence,that is in of itself a skill to be proud for,and yet you take this trait and persist in self loathing.
There are those who will accept you for your own self,the self that watches others,the Shinji Ikari that exists in their own mind cannot be shattered by the reality of the Shinji Ikari that exists in your own.
But what if it does...i don't want to be alone.
You have already shown one other the truth that resides within your soul,they have accepted you.
Asuka...
If there is at least a single soul that can accept you in this entire world than you are never truly alone. The one who resides inside Eva once said that any place can be heaven as long as you have the will to live.
Even inside a beast she has found her heaven in protecting her own child,in despite of it's hatred for her.
There are those that will accept you even in your hatred for them ,that is simply the nature of human existence. You, Ikari Shinji, cannot be alone. That is; the music player cannot give you joy.
I...i understand,there will always be,always be those who accept me,i see it now. I want to protect them,i want to go back,i must go back, I need,i need to help them.
You may go,soon enough the circuits of the body will close,but beforehand there is still something to be seen.
The world was lit aflame,it burned in a sight much resembling the most common depictions of hell,the will of mankind was lost.
An Angel that could not be called an Angel stood victorious over the body of the Evangelion of man,the greatest of mankind's creation..and everything burned.
Fire and smoke filled his lungs,fire and smoke filled the world. Everyone was dead, everyone was burning. He called out, for anyone, for his lover, for his father, for his mother, for his sister, for his real mother and for the Evangelion in which she resided, and yet no one came.
The world continued to burn.
What was that
What may yet come. If you do not run away.
I won't run away..i mustn't run away.
Then,let us give you a gift.
A gift?
A gift,from one of man to another of man.
You are not me.
We are the you we see inside your mind,but the truth of our own self is different. We are that which watches mankind and which itself is watched. We are human, but not Lilim. Take this.
What is it..?
The soul.
The soul?
My own.
You will die.
For my kind such things are merely another existence,to live inside the bastard or to live inside this empty world is much the same
Thank you.
The child and the pilot reached out,a red orb in their hand. Shinji took hold of it.
And then the world began to shake.
"All Evas are standing by in their position."Hyuga reported.
"AT fields are at full spread,the operation will begin in sixty seconds." Maya added.
Then,the ground began to shake,the shadow that made up the Angel's body beginning to crack under the assault that came from within it.
"What the hell?"Asuka asked as she looked at the ground pulse upwards.
"Status,now!"Ritsuko demanded.
"All meters and gauges are off the scale,we have no idea what's happening!"Hyuga said,seeming somewhat panicked.
"But...we've done nothing."Ritsuko commented.
"Unit-01..Shinji,could it be?"Misato asked in a hopeful tone.
"No,that's impossible,the power's reached zero,not to say..."Ritsuko trailed off, Misato looked at her.
Then,breaking through the spherical surface of the angel came out a bloody hand,everyone looked on,equal parts shock and awe in their faces as they watched the unit-01 rip apart the Angel.
"Riaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" The unit bellowed,the sound cutting through the air as it pushed it's bloodied torso upward. Ritsuko's eyes widened.
"Like that time.."She whispered. "Berserk...but how?"
With one last push the unit ripped apart the angel,a shower of blood raining down on the city as it crashed into the ground below it. It's posture bestial,slumped.
"Am I...piloting something like that?"Asuka asked herself in horror.
"Shinji...shinji!"He heard a voice,a familiar voice,but filled with sorrow,he wanted to comfort it,but it was trying to comfort him. His eyes opened, Asuka was hugging him,her body was slumped against his,she was holding onto him tighter than she ever had,she was weeping,crying more than he'd ever seen anyone cry before.
Shinji hugged her with all the measly strength he could muster. "Please...don't cry. I'm back...i..i wont go anywhere..never again."
Blood was washed away from the titanic form of unit-01 as Gendo and Ritsuko looked on at it,a neutral expression in both their faces.
"I sometimes wonder if the Evangelions are truly on our side."Ritsuko commented.
"We cannot be sure."Gendo said. "Only pray."
"Prayer isn't fitting for those whose work is to disgrace god and all his creation."Ritsuko answered. "Major Katsuragi is beginning to suspect things."
"She must be implemented into the plan soon, Ryoji will speak to her."Gendo said. "How is Shinji?"
"He's doing good but...there's something off,a minor level of contamination that's not fading,not in his mind but in his body." Ritsuko said. "In the place where that scar is."
"We've made an unlikely ally today,delete all the data, say we lost it when the unit deactivated,if the council heard about the fact that Unit-01 and it's pilot are now in possession of both the soul and power of an Angel we would be done for."
"The Data was mostly corrupted anyways,it won't be hard to convince them." Ritsuko said,Gendo nodded.
Blink,blink,white. A Hospital room,an unfamiliar ceiling,Rei. She was there,a book in her hands. This felt unreal,no,rather it felt too real,after 16 hours of being stuck in hell this unfamiliar hospital room felt like heaven. Maybe it had been a dream,maybe he'd just woken after Ramiel had blown out his heart?
"Brother...I'm glad to see that you're okay, pilot Sohryu went to get you food,she will return shortly." Rei said,a smile on her face. Shinji sighed,relief, Sohryu,Asuka,she was real.
"I see..thanks for being by my side,Rei."Shinji said.
"It is something I desire as well,you are my brother after all."She said,giving him a soft hug. Shinji smiled,the door opened, Asuka walked in,giving Rei a glare as she did.
"Well,this appears to my cue to leave,farewell pilot Ikari. I will be handing you back to whom you belong."She said,getting up from the chair she had taken as her own and passing by Asuka with a soft nod,Asuka herself looking away with an upturned nose as the blue haired girl left.
"She didn't try to steal you from me while I was away,did she?"Asuka asked,seeming actually quite serious in her question,Shinji gave a soft laugh.
"Of course not Asuka."Seeming pleased with his response she sat beside him.
"Good...how are you feeling?"She asked,earnest worry in her eyes.
"I'm..fine,i feel much better now."Shinji said. Asuka nodded,a smile in her face.
"You worried me. You know?"She asked. "You worried me that I wouldn't ever see you again,talk to you again.."
"I'm sorry."Shinji said.
"I promised I wouldn't cry after my mama died,I promised that I would be strong."Asuka said,her voice seemed fragile and weak. "You make me break that promise."
"I'm sorry..."Shinji said,looking down.
"Don't be."Asuka said. "Because...because that made me realize something. It made me realize that maybe...just with you...it's fine to be myself. Will you accept that?Accept me?"
Shinji nodded. "I'll always accept you,because you've accepted me for who I really am as well."
Asuka smiled. "I'm glad then...well,there's one more thing I have to say."
She looked him in the eyes, straight in the eyes,they were blue,blue like the ocean, they were beautiful, they were so serene and peaceful,so sorrowful when compared to their normal liveliness that it forced him to accept the truth in them. And that truth was;
"I love you."
Three words,very simple to say,three words but they were very important words. His heart raced in his chest, his mind was surely playing a cruel trick on him,right?
'I love you' Asuka had just said those three words,'I love you'. A tear ran down his face,he didn't know why. No,no,he did know, he did know why he was crying, this was happiness, such pure and unadulterated happiness that one couldn't help but cry.
"H-hey,what's the matter?"Asuka asked with a bit of panic. "Are you hurt?Should I call a doctor or something,Shinji?"
He shook his head. "No,of course I'm not hurt..no..this is the best day of my life."
Asuka blushed. "Y-you got eaten by an Angel baka."
"I don't care...Asuka..i Love you as well."
They leaned in and kissed,a short,sweet kiss that seemed to last an eternity and yet not nearly long enough all the same.
AN:And that's it for today,hope you enjoyed the little trip into Shinji's mind.
[1]I apologize preemptively if this German is terrible,i had to use google translate for it. Its supposed to say something along the lines of 'You're mine'
After credit's scene(canon):
Kaworu looked onward at the place where the body of the last Angel was being disposed of. His red eyes marked on the location with great interest.
"So...your choice has been made sister." Kaworu said. "The final ascension of mankind will begin soon,now it is our place only to wait for the last heralds and prepare ourselves for the final battle of this first act. When the curtains close I hope it shall be with cheer rather than blood."
He breathed in.
"Even so. To betray our own flesh and blood...we are truly wicked."