Chapter 26: An Awkward Dinner

"Are you okay?" Adrien asked Meredith as he worked on the patient. She was so tired of people asking that question. She was beginning to wonder if it was a requirement. If everyone had to asked her at least one time every day.

"Fine." She said with a pretend smile. Adrien was so tired of her answering that way. When she got stressed, she shut down and said fine. Always fine. No other word. Fine.

Meredith looked down at the patient. He was only thirty. Thirty years old and he needed a pacemaker. It was so sad. He had three kids. A wife. They loved him. He loved them. The perfect little family. And here she is. Sitting. Stewing. She was irritated. And she felt completely foolish, but the truth was, she missed him. She was mad that he wasn't following her around. Mad that he didn't chase after her. It was a thrill. The chase was a thrill.

"So, how would you like to go to that restaurant you love so much tonight?" Adrien asked as he looked up.

"Sure. We can do that." Meredith said with a nod as she felt the large lump in her throat.

"Good. You need to get out. Relax. You're so tense." He said with a sigh. "You need to relieve some stress. I know an excellent stress reliever." He told her with a smirk and raised eyebrows.

"I bet you do, Dr. de Gualle." She said with a giggle.

"I could show you." He told her with a wink.

"You're too..." Meredith said as she looked up.

"Whipped?" He asked with chuckle.

"I was going to say too much." She said as she shook her head.

"Maybe." He agreed. "But I have to admit, I am painfully happy."

There it was. Now that made her stomach roll. But it wasn't necessarily because of him. It was because she was torn. Torn between two great guys. Two guys that anyone would be so happy to have. Hmm... I wonder what they think about polygamy? Yeah...that would really work.

"Do you want to close him up, Mer?" He asked softly.

"Of course." She said as she took over.

She liked that. She liked his confidence. He called her Mer in the operating room. He did what he wanted. He knew he was the best and he wasn't afraid to let anyone know. She also happened to know a certain neurosurgeon who did the same thing.

Meredith walked out of the scrub room and grabbed the charts. She needed to do some post-op notes. Just what she loved. But they did need to be done. She sat down at the nurses station and began scribbling.

"Hey..." Dina said softly as she walked up.

"Dr. Eastman." Meredith said with a nod as she looked up.

"Are you okay?" Dina asked with a warm, genuine smile. There is it again. Be nice, Mer. Be nice. She is trying. Better than Carter or Mather...

"I'm fine." Meredith said with a nod.

"Well, I brought you this mocha latte." She said as she sat it down.

"Dr. Shepherd has a surgery on the board. If he needs you, you can scrub in." Meredith told her as she sipped the perfect coffee.

"Oh, thank you, Dr. Grey!" She said as she walked away with a big smile on her face.

"Hey!" Lexie said as she walked up with a big smile on her face. "Okay. I was being stupid. Incredibly stupid. And I understand why you weren't taking my calls. I was just so- And I- I was being stupid. But you are like my best friend and I've missed you, so...I'm sorry." She said without taking a breath.

"Oh..." Meredith said as she looked into her friend's blue eyes. "I-"

"No need... I know that you were drunk. You did mean it." Lexie said with a giggle.

"What do you mean?" Meredith said in confusion.

"You called me a bitch that night. But...whatever." She said with a giggle.

"I did?" Meredith answered.

"No big deal. The point is I need you." She said as she sat down.

"You're in Peds now?" Meredith said, almost knowing what was coming.

"Yep. I like it. So, I need you..." Lexie said again.

"Why Peds?" Meredith asked again.

"Because I need a change. I need you Mer! Derek...he- he-" She started to cry.

"What?" Meredith asked, knowing.

"Derek asked me for a divorce." She said sadly.

"Oh my god!" Meredith feigned shock.

"I know. I can't. I love him. I need to fix this. And I need your help." Lexie said with a smile.

"My help?" Meredith asked. Oh shit.

"So, Dr. Grey seems better." Dina said as she stood at the table with Derek.

"Yeah?" He asked as he glanced up.

"Well, she said she was fine. But... She seems okay." Dina mentioned. "I wonder what was wrong."

"She's just stressed out, I'm sure." Derek said with a nod.

"I don't know. It seems deeper than that. I know she's my resident. And I know everyone calls her resident bitch. But..." Dina said, trailing off.

"You care about her." Derek pointed out.

"I do. She- I want to be half as good as her. If I could be half, I would be doing fine." Dina said with a smile.

"Well, you already are." He said trying to be nice.

"Thank you, Dr. Shepherd." Dina said with a big smile.

"Her mom pushed her hard. Really hard." Derek pointed out.

"Really? I guess I shouldn't be surprised..." Dr. Eastman told him.

"She made it. I don't know how, but after everything, she made it." Derek said in disbelief.

"You sound like you know." Dina said as she looked up at him.

"Oh... She's uh- She's friends with my wife. Well, soon to be ex-wife." Derek said with a shrug.

"Oh." Dr. Eastman said with a frown. "I'm sorry..."

"Don't be." Derek told her.

"So, where did you go to college?" Dina asked with a smile.

"Dartmouth then John's Hopkins." Derek told her.

"Oh. Dr. Grey went to Dartmouth. I'm surprised you didn't see her..." Dina said as the wheels started spinning. She connected what they had said. How will it be okay? I'm divorcing my wife. Nurse Samson went to Peds. Divorce. How will it be okay? Oh my god...

"She's younger than I am." He said with a smile.

"Oh yeah, that's right." She said with a smile. Nicely played, Dr. Shepherd. Very nice...

Meredith looked in the small locker room mirror. She looked tired. She had a good reason to be tired. The amount of stress was huge. The worrying. Derek. Adrien. It was big. Too big. Not something you flip a coin on. Not a choice made on a whim. It seemed simple. So simple. But it was not. The rest of her life was going to be based on the decisions she made. And that scared the hell out if her.

Meredith ran the brush through her hair. She looked up as Dr. Vincent, the neuro resident walked in. She watched him in the mirror as he walked over and changed his scrubbed. She admired his perfect chest. Now that is man-candy... Stop that! What? That. Looking. You already have enough problems. In case you haven't noticed, you are literally drowning in a vat of chocolate man candy. Maybe... But oh, if I could melt them all down...

"Going out with the boss?" Brandon Vincent asked as he looked at the mirror, catching her gaze.

"Yes..." She answered. Dumbass... You were caught. He saw you checking him out...

"Were you checking me out?" He asked with a smirk as he walked over.

"Um..." She started. You know, they say honesty is the best policy. "I was." She said with a nod.

"Finally! An honest person in this damn hospital." He said with a smirk.

"Yeah, well just because I looked, doesn't mean I want to touch. And I am definitely not interested." She said as she looked at herself in the mirror.

"You want to touch..." He said with a chuckle as he lifted his shirt. "Come on..."

"Nope." She said as she shook her head. "I can do that any time..."

"I guarantee de Gaulle's aren't like this. Come on..." Brandon said with a smirk. "I want an honest opinion..."

"Fine." She said as she rolled her eyes. A smirk played on her face as she grabbed his chest. "You do have nice boobs." She said with a nod.

"Not boobs! Pecs. They are pecs." He told her firmly. They both looked up when Adrien walked in.

"Uh... Honey?" He asked as he walked up.

"I was giving him my professional opinion..." Meredith said with a smile.

"Okay..." He said with raised brows.

"Feel them." She said as she put her hands on his chest.

"Uh. No. I don't do that. I don't feel other men's chests." Adrien said as he shook his head. "I draw the line there."

"You're so funny." Meredith giggled as she grabbed his hand. "Dr. Vincent." She said with a nod.

"Dr. Grey." He replied with a nod.

"What the hell was that?" Adrien asked as she climbed in his car.

"It is exactly what it looked like." She said as she buckled her seat belt.

"I didn't think you were the type..." Adrien stated.

"What type?" She asked.

"The type to feel men's chests." He said with a chuckle.

"It wasn't anything." Meredith said as she looked over.

"I know." He said with a smirk as he held her hand. "I trust you."

Freaking wonderful. I trust you. Great Mer. Freaking great. If that doesn't make you sick, I don't know what would. You are a freaking heartbreaker. A crusher. You crush people. And Lexie wants your help to fix the marriage you broke. What the hell are you doing? Secrets, lies. I'm fine... You're not fun. You're fucked up. It's a matter of time. But there is a way. A way to not pick. You could just leave. Spare them both from the poisoned water of Meredith's well...

"Are you okay?" He asked as they walked to the door of the restaurant.

"Yeah." She said as she placed her arm around his waist.

"Good." He said as he kissed her temple. They walked to their usual table and sat down. "So... Are you having the usual?" He asked as he looked at the menu.

"Of course." She said with a smile as she sat her menu down.

"I know you all too well." He said with a smirk.

"That you do." She agreed. Even in the little amount of time that they had been together he was quite perceptive.

"So, your mother is doing well." Adrien said as he looked up.

"That's nice." She muttered as she looked away.

"Meredith... She is your mother." He said as he grabbed her wringing hands.

"You have no idea." She said as she looked up at him with cold eyes.

"I would if you would tell me." He said, squeezing her hand gently.

"I can't- It's too much. Too soon." She said as she started to panic.

"Well, when you're ready, I'm here." He said with a smile.

"I know." She agreed as she shook her head.

Derek walked into the restaurant. He was going to get take-out. He had heard everyone talking about this noisy little restaurant. It supposedly had the best food in the area. He froze in place as his gaze rested on the table. She had a faint smile on her face. He was holding her hand. It made him sick. His head was telling him to spin around and run. And he would have. But it was too late.

"Oh look! There's Derek." Adrien said as he looked up.

"Look away." Meredith said, not glancing up.

"He's already seen me." Adrien told her.

"Just looked down. Act like you don't see him." She said in a panic.

"Mer, he's going through a tough time. We should invite him over." Adrien said. "We are his friends. And Lexie's. It's only right." Adrien said as he waved him over. Derek frowned as he made his way to the table.

"Adrien, Meredith." He said with a nod as he stood there.

"Derek." Meredith said with a nod as she sipped her wine.

"Who are you meeting?" Adrien asked.

"Well, I just came for take-out..." Derek said as he looked up.

"That won't do. You have to join us. I insist." Adrien said as he looked between them

"Um..." Derek said as he looked at Meredith, who was looking down, and Adrien, who was shaking his head. "Okay." He said as he pulled up a chair. And the bottom drops out.

The waitress walked up and took their respective orders. Meredith was praying that she would turn into a puddle of goo and disappear. Hell, she'd rather be that three-year-old piece of gum that some kid placed under the table. This was torture. This was like being strung up above a bonfire, the flames may just barely lick your body, but the heat. The heat would kill you.

"So, Derek. How are things with you and Lexie?" Adrien asked bravely.

"Well." He said as he looked over at Meredith. "I talked to the attorney today. They will serve Lexie with the papers tomorrow." Derek said with a nod.

"So, you're really getting divorced?" Adrien asked, still in shock.

"I am." Derek said with an indifferent face.

"Well, I- It's sad to see, you know? I was married to my wife for twenty-one years." Adrien said with a sad smile.

"Oh..." Derek said with confusion.

"She died of breast cancer. She just let it go. She knew it was there, and she didn't say anything. It was so hard for so long. But then I met Mer." Adrien said with a smile.

"I'm sorry to hear that." Derek said with a frown as he looked at an uptight Meredith.

"Mer, you're being awful quiet." Adrien said as he looked up at her.

"Hmm? No." She said with a nod. "I'm just..." She trailed off.

"So how long were you two married?" Adrien asked.

"Three years." Derek told him as he sipped his drink.

"You just think it will be forever..." Adrien muttered.

"Not really..." Derek said frankly.

"So, this other woman..." Adrien asked as he looked up. Meredith's eyes got wide as she looked up in shock.

"Hmm?" Derek asked.

"The woman. You said you were in love with someone else." Adrien reminded him as he took a drink. What? Are you guys having some freaking 'guy time'? Bonding?

"Oh yes..." Derek said with a smile. "She's amazing. She is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. Her smile makes my day better. No matter what has happened, one look at that smile, and I'm a new man. And she's smart and honest. She is perfect in every way." Derek said with awe. Shit. Why does he have to do that? Why?

"She sounds amazing..." Adrien said with an understanding smile. "How did you meet?" Adrien asked with raised brows. Quit asking the freaking questions... Can't you just keep your damn mouth shut?

"We met at a party. She was avoiding someone. She stumbled into my lap. It was all over from there." Derek said as his eyes met Meredith's. He could see her eyes getting dewey. I miss you... I miss you, but

"Wow. I didn't realize you and Lexie went to parties." Adrien pointed out.

"Oh... Oh no. I didn't just meet her. No. We met over a decade ago. Things happened. We lost touch. It was no one's fault. But it was the worst thing that ever happened to me. And now I just want to move forward. With her." Derek said with a nod. At least he didn't spill every freaking detail. Derek, sometimes I want to kill you!

"Well, I hope it works out for you both. I believe that everyone has to find their own happiness, and you don't live forever. So you should go get it. And that's why I'm so happy I met Meredith." Adrien said as he winked at her.

"I couldn't agree more." Derek said dryly as he watched the waitress bring their food.

Meredith stayed silent. What was she going to say? She couldn't say anything. She was just hoping that Adrien would think Lexie was the reason for her silence. She wasn't stupid. She knew something had to change. But change scared her. She'd like to wait to the last minute. She was an avoider. An avoider of the worst kind.

"Oh shit..." Adrien muttered as he looked down at his buzzing pager. "I'll be right back." He said as he jumped up from the table and walked out.

"I hate you." She said through her teeth.

"It wasn't my idea" He defended as he looked at her.

"No matter..." She said as she shook her head. "Thanks for the dinner from hell..." She said with a huff. "And the little story... Sweet, Derek. Really fucking sweet."

"It was the truth." He said with a shrug.

"Nothing matters. None of that matters anymore." She said with a sigh as she looked down.

"You do realize I can't go on, right?" He asked as he cocked his head.

"What?" She asked as she looked up.

"If you- If we don't- I can't move on. I tried for a long time. I tried to move on. And now I will be free... But I can't move on. I won't. I will always wait. If I can't have you, I'd rather be alone." Derek said with a frown.

"Derek..." She said as the tears started to fall. She looked up at Adrien walking up and wiped her eyes.

"Are you okay?" Adrien asked as he stood next to her.

"My eyes burn." She said with a smile as she wiped them.

"Oh no..." He said as he kissed her head. "I'm so sorry... I have to go to the hospital. I think I'm going to have to open a patient back up."

"I'll come..." Meredith said as she stood up.

"No, you won't. You've been working way too much. Derek, could you take Meredith home when you guys are done?" Adrien asked. "I'd rather you take her home than a cab..."

"Of course. And goodnight" Derek said with a smile. Adrien threw down several bills.

"Goodnight..." He said as he kissed Meredith softly. "I don't know if I'll be home..."

"So..." Derek said with a raised eyebrow. "Would you like dessert?"

"Shut up!" She said as she stood up. "I'm ready." She said as she started to walk off, him following.

"Mer..." He shouted as he followed her. He ran up and grabbed her arm.

"No! I just- Give me a few minutes..." She said as she looked at him. He nodded his head and opened the car door.

The ride there was completely silent. She was thinking. Her wheels were turning. He watched her wring her hands nervously. She was biting her bottom lip. She was contemplating. He just wondered what.

He pulled into Adrien's parking spot and but his Yukon Denali in park. He watched her open the door and step out. He quickly jumped out of the car and walked her to the door. She slid her key into the lock and turned the handle.

"Mer... I'm sorry. I just- My world turns because of you. The sun rises and sets because of you. I can't help how I feel. I will never stop loving you." He said as he stroked her cheek. She closed her eyes and sighed. She felt his lips touch hers. She allowed his tongue entrance as she ran her fingers through his hair.

"Damn-it!" She grumbled.

"What?" He said with a smirk. He felt her hand grab his arm as she dragged him in.