"Mama! Mama!"
"Hey you guys! Did you have a good day?" I've barely set my briefcase down when Lulu barrels into me. I grab her under the arms and swing her up, holding her close as she buries her face into my neck.
Maybe I'm projecting but she seems a little clingier than usual, even after a two day trip. A pang of guilt lances me. But I push it away. I may be travelling more than normal but this is a short season in life. I can't take her on every trip, and she went to Chicago just last weekend. I'm sure I'm just overreacting.
Josh gives Lulu and me a minute. Standing and watching us with an unfathomable look on his face. I'm getting the sense I'm missing something. But when I ask him without words, he just shrugs.
Then he wraps his arms around both of us at once and squeezes tight. Lulu laughs. She loves it when he does this, and so do I. I feel like I have everything I ever wanted in the world.
"Dinner's ready." Josh informs me. "I thought you'd be ready for a home cooked meal."
"Absolutely! It smells fantastic."
"I helped!" Lulu shouts, pointing to herself emphatically.
"I"m so glad you were here to help Daddy. You're such a good girl, Lulu."
"Yes! I good!" Lulu insists. "Right, Daddy?"
"Yes, baby. You're a good girl." Josh reassures her. But I catch a hint of something in his voice, and his eyes look troubled.
I'm having a definite sense that I'm missing out on something. But I'm hungry and Josh has gone through a lot of trouble to make this a good welcome home. I trust him. If he's holding something back, I'm sure there's a reason and he'll tell me when he's ready.
And if not, I have ways of making him talk.
. . . . .
Josh's dinner was fantastic. And he cleaned up while I took care of Lulu's bath. And she didn't even ask for the stupid crayons. And She was especially snuggly while I was reading A Little Princess. It's been a good night. And now it's grown-up time.
I give Josh a come hither look as I pass through the kitchen into our bedroom. And as I'm washing my face I hear him enter our room and settle into the chair to wait for me.
"So, um, I have a confession." He calls out.
"Yeah?" I respond as nonchalantly as possible. I knew something was up.
"I gave Lulu a time-out because she drew on the bathroom wall."
"She did?!"
"Yeah."
"So you gave her a time out?!"
I poke my head back out of the bathroom and look at Josh. His eyes are downcast and he's twisting the ring on his left hand. Admitting that our daughter wasn't perfect while I was gone was not easy for him.
"Yes. You would have!" He declares, vehemently as he looks up. But there's a vulnerability on his face that he doesn't show that often, and it occurs to me that he's looking for my approval.
"Yes. Absolutely, Josh." I reassure him. " She drew on the wall. She knows better than that." The relief on his face is immediate. I think nothing would hurt him more than thinking that he punished Lulu when he shouldn't have.
It's moments like this that I know I couldn't have picked a better partner. There is no one else I'd rather parent with. But I probably don't really tell Josh that enough. Sometimes I forget that his ego is all just for show and that he needs a little stroking. I give him my softest smile, the one that I've always used to show him how much I believe in him.
"I'm really proud of you. I know you probably hated doing it."
"Yes!" He agrees, gesturing wildly, "it was awful. You make it look so easy!"
I burst into laughter and he looks offended for a second, then it dawns on him that he just made me sound like the bad guy. Like some Disney Villain evil Step-mother or something.
"That's not what I meant." He offers a little sheepishly.
"I know." I assure him yet again as I turn off the bathroom light and join him in our room. I wrap my arms around him and give him a quick kiss. "You're a great dad."
He holds me for a minute and I feel the tension leaving his body. He was really worried about this. But I hope he's let it go, because I've been gone two days, and I've got something else in mind for the evening.
"Lulu's down for the night?" He inquires softly.
"Yes, she is." I take a step back and attempt a sultry look. But banter has always been good foreplay for us, so I revert to a little teasing. "There's a pre-convention special on CNN. Do you want to go watch it?"
"Not right now." He's quick to respond, tugging me over to the bed. "We can make fun of the Republicans later. Right now I'd like to do something more entertaining."
His eyes are practically smoldering so I know exactly what he's thinking. I'm glad we're on the same page.
"Really? Something more entertaining than making fun of Republicans? Whatever could you mean?" I bat my eyelashes at him for good measure.
He makes a weird little growl in the back of his throat and in the blink of an eye he morphs from uncertain parent to extremely confident lover. I feel my entire body flush as he pulls me tight, cups the back of my head, and kisses me breathless.
When he comes up for air, he gives me a little smirk. "Any other questions?"
God, I love it when he's cocky like this. And I'm definitely in the mood to play along. "No . . . sir."
. . . . .
"Ahhhh. That was so good." I"m euphoric. He really is incredible. Why in God's name did we wait so long to partake in this activity?
Josh is still panting a bit but he's looking extremely pleased with himself. He grins at me. "Who da man?"
"You are. Definitely you."
Rolling over to my side, I scoot a little closer and run my hand down his arm causing goosebumps to pop up and the little hairs to stand on end. I'm pleased to see that while he may be 'da man', I'm not without my own powers.
I love touching him.
And I love what my touching does to him.
His eyes are closed as I continue my journey, caressing his pecs and moving down his abdomen. He's got some great ab muscles tucked away under a little bit of a tummy. I like it. It means he's eating a lot better than he used to. And his body being less that perfect makes me feel better about mine.
I let my hand wander a little lower, watching his face as his eyelids flutter.
He grimaces just a little. "It's a little quick, Donna, I don't know if I'm going to be able to . . ."
"Shhhh… I'm just exploring."
My hand continues south and I give him a tentative stroke. He breathes in sharply through his nose. He's still sensitive. Good. I like playing with him when we aren't rushed.
I take my time, showing him exactly how much I missed him, and he rises to the occasion, just like I knew he would.
When round two is over, Josh wraps his arms around me and passes out cold.
. . . . .
Monday flies by. Even with Ashley holding down the fort it always feels like there's so many things to catch up on after a few days on the road. Plus we're still coordinating with Amy and the DNC about all the ways they want to use Helen and how many times she'll let them showcase the kids. We've still got two weeks, but it's getting to be crunch time. Decisions need to be made.
Tuesday we spend the morning looking at damage reports about Issac. Everyone agrees that Matt can get away with making a quick trip to Louisiana to offer some aid and comfort without it looking like a media ploy. Of course, no one is happy about the property damage and loss of life, but during a campaign every opportunity to be Presidential is important. And even better, everyone agrees that Bram and Ned can staff the trip.
I'm happy to be home for our regular routine.
. . . .
"I can't believe they had to postpone their convention due to a Hurricane!" Josh crows as he settles into the couch next to me. "Shouldn't they take that as, I don't know, a sign from God that they should just give up altogether?"
"Fat chance."
"I can hope. So what did I miss?"
"The Pledge of Allegiance and an opening invocation. I think you and Lulu could have stayed in the room."
"No way. She can watch with us when she's old enough to make fun of them. She's still too young and impressionable right now. I don't want her getting any Republican juice on her."
"You let her spend time with Auntie Ainsley."
"That's because she's rational! Sometimes I forget she's a Republican. Speaking of which, why didn't she go to their convention?"
"They talked about it. Her parents are going. Earle is actually a delegate. But Ainsley's kind of a person non-grata in the party right now. They wanted her to speak, but they would only give her a slot if she gave a full throated endorsement for the ticket. And I believe Sam's exact words were "not a chance in hell."
"Wow. I bet that didn't go over well."
"Yeah. Ainsley was pretty pissed, but actually, she wasn't mad at Sam. She wanted to speak on the issues and didn't appreciate having words put in her mouth. Honestly, I think she's thinking about leaving the party."
"Ha! I knew we'd convert her eventually."
"Well, I wouldn't go that far. But she feels like the Republican party is heading towards a dark place and moderates are getting pushed out. She's considering registering as an Independent."
"Good. Because someday, Sam is going to run for something, and it would be really helpful if his wife didn't belong to the other party."
We watch in silence for a few minutes before I take his hand and look him in the eyes.
"Would you still love me if I was a Republican?" I ask sweetly, while the Governor from Oklahoma drones on about how America needs to reclaim her heritage as a nation under God.
"What the hell kind of question is that?" He sputters, his eyes bugging out of his head. It's kind of fun to spin him up sometimes.
I just raise an eyebrow. "I was expecting a quick yes." I inform him with a frosty stare.
"Yes."
"Too late."
"Donnnaaa . . ." He whines adorably, caught between a rock and a hard place.
"Jooossshhh."
We stare at each other a few moments while the rambling continues on the television. Finally he takes a deep breath.
"I've loved you for more than a decade. I fell in love with you because of your wit, and your smile, and your indomitable spirit. And honestly, with the way you challenged me, sometimes I thought maybe you WERE a closet Republican. God knows you dated enough of them. I will always love you. Even if you became a Republican."
I give him a bright smile. See that wasn't so hard.
"I would, however, lock you in a closet on election day."
"Josh! That's voter suppression!"
"Hey if you become a Republican, doesn't that mean that I become the head of the household and you have to do what I say anyway?"
"Fat chance."
"Yeah. That's what I thought." Josh tugs me a little closer so that I'm draped over him a little more and we have to readjust our positions to get comfortable. I end up in my favorite spot with my head against his chest, and he starts playing with my hair. It feels nice.
"Your hair's getting longer." He murmurs.
"I know. I haven't had time to do anything with it. Should I get it cut?"
"I like it like this." He runs his fingers through the length. "But it's up to you."
The gentle rhythm of his hand almost has me asleep when I'm startled awake by Josh's shout.
"That's our slogan!"
I open my eyes in time to see the chyron declaring the theme of the convention Sullivan/Morgan For a Brighter Future.
"Not really." I answer through a yawn sitting up.
"Yes it is," Josh insists. "Four Years Ago Santos/McGarry For a Brighter America."
"I don't know.
"It's pretty damn close."
"Well I wouldn't use it, but I don't know if you could convince the press that there's a story there."
"See. You couldn't be a Republican. You're not a plagiarist."
"And I'm also done watching this. You coming to bed?"
"Let's see . . . going to bed with my smokin' hot wife, or watching the Republicans plot to destroy our future? It's really no contest."
"Well, I hope not."