Little Moments Rebooted

by shadows59

The summer is over, they're not. As the pressure of real life and heroing builds, Ben and Gwen turn to each other more and more. Eventual Bwen. Rewritten in 2019. By Shadows59 & Erico

30. Gossip, Lies, and the Truth

Chapter 30: Gossip, Lies, and the Truth at the Heart of It All

Angelwood Academy

Bellwood, California

9:23 am, September 1st, 1999

Michelle knew that the real world wasn't anything like growing up on military bases. She'd heard enough stories from the people who didn't spend their whole lives on them. Stories that usually came with a sigh and a kiss pressed into her forehead about how insulated her existence was, and that was just from her mama.

But she wasn't stupid. Some of that was just from growing up as the daughter of an Army officer, too. Still, Michelle was always around other kids whose lives were like hers. And when you grew up worrying that your dad (or mom) might not ever come back home from their next deployment, it kept things locked in perspective. For all that she and the other kids on base might squabble and fight, they were the same in the ways that mattered. So she never really got the whole experience that came with going to civilian schools.

She certainly heard enough about how people treated each other from the girls that did and on the television whenever she turned it on, but she never believed it. Not when the base ran on rumors. There were always whispers about deployments and promotions, about who was in the dog house and who was the new golden boy, and who was coming and going. It seemed like someone was always going.

And too many who never came back...

So finding the truth hiding in it all was a skill that they all picked up because the adults wouldn't say anything until the moving vans were waiting in the driveway if they were lucky.

She wasn't. She hadn't heard a word about the move before they were flying off to California. Not when the rest of the base was just in shock at how many flags were flying at half-mast after the 'Police Action.' Not when she'd spend three days trying to keep her little brothers distracted while her mom did all the things that the base women did and jumping anytime anyone knocked on the front door. Then her father walked through it with his arm in a sling, a look in his eyes that still hadn't gone away, and the words "I've been transferred" on his lips.

A look she shared when she woke up on a different continent and found herself shoved in a school uniform along with her brothers as she was being dragged to a private academy on the first day of school. They hadn't even finished unpacking everything yet, for crying out loud!

A word of warning. A whisper of gossip. That would have helped so much.

Almost as much as the crazy redhead named Gwen Tennyson came storming into the principal's office and her life that first morning before class even started. A class that taught her so much and none of it was about speaking French.

She'd been dragged into enemy territory, and Gwen was her buddy in the foxhole. And Gwen? Was public enemy number one among the Popular Girls. She got a taste of it when Marci and her two hangers-on tried to yank Michelle away from Gwen, and suddenly all the warnings that the older girls on base had given to her about managing civilian relationships made so much more sense. Michelle didn't know why on that first day, but she saw the haunted look in Gwen's face when she expected Michelle to walk away from her. Like everyone else had, Michelle realized. And it took her a whole day to find out why.

Gossip, one of the older girls on base who'd spent time in civilian schools had told her when she'd been younger with a scowl, It's not the same as it is here. It's not about anything that matters. It's just empty rumors that get started by girls to bring other girls down because they're jealous or they're angry, or they just want them to hurt for it and it should be taken outside and shot.

That was all the warning she got, and her second day hadn't even started when she found out just how true it was.

She barely got her locker open and was just reaching for the headscarf her mama had made her wear because of how windy it was. She was new and all, but Michelle wondered if the two girls next to her would have kept talking if they recognized her.

"Hey, did you hear?" The first one asked in a not-so-quiet whisper from just a few paces away. "About the Teacher's Pet?"

"Gwen?" The second said, and Michelle's ears pricked up. Her locker door was open and her head and shoulders were hidden behind it, and she froze and waited to see if they'd keep talking. They did. "No, what did she do now? Bring doughnuts for all the teachers because she's so happy that she can show off for them again?"

The first girl snorted a little. "No, but I wouldn't put it past her to try doing that for teacher appreciation day. Blair told me that she has a new friend to boss around. Some girl from Europe."

"Oh, that's not good." The second girl scoffed. "What if she goes back home? That girl will tell everyone over there that American women are bossy little babies, and then I'll never be able to meet Prince Harry and marry him!"

"Harry?!" The first girl sputtered indignantly? "But he's ginger! Why don't you just go after Prince William?"

"Oh, please. Like I'd stand a chance with him." The second must have been rolling her eyes. So was Michelle, as she finished putting her now-covered textbooks into the locker and took the ones back she'd need for their morning classes. "Not with Little Miss Perfect around. Gwen's got her nose so far in the air that he'd be sniffing around her in minutes!"

That got a gasp and a giggle before the first said something that made Michelle jump just a little. "So that's who her secret boyfriend is! She's been dating the Prince all this time! Who else would she think is good enough for her majesty?"

"Please! I bet he likes girls, not sad little nerds who like to pretend that they're boys. I saw her at Karate when I went to yoga early the other day. It was so pathetic, seeing her wishing that she was one of them." The first made an awkward snort at the picture and the two slipped into giggles.

Giggles that the first warning bell barely covered when it rang and Michelle slammed her locker shut. Slinging her thin book bag over her shoulder, she looked to the pair of girls who jumped and spun around at the noise so they could give her blank stares. Stares she met with the unimpressed glare she'd seen the Colonel give too many people as she took off her headscarf and tucked it in the side pocket of her bag and then walked past them without saying a word. A walk that turned into a stomp the rest of the way to homeroom.

One she barely caught before she slipped into her seat next to Gwen, who looked up from the palm-sized book she'd been reading intensely and smiled for all of a second before she caught the stormy look on her face. "Michelle? What happened?" Gwen asked as worry flooded those emerald eyes.

"Nothing," Michelle said, shaking off the thunderclouds in her mind and going with the easy answer. "Just girls gossiping about which guys they like that they'll never be able to bag."

"Oh," Gwen said as she scrunched her nose, closed the small book and tucked it away. "I don't pay any attention to that stuff. It doesn't mean anything."

Michelle relaxed a little at that. This was her home ground and Gwen probably had the right of it. And no matter what anyone else said, she knew enough about this red-haired girl with the bright green eyes to know that she was honest and real. And too nice to ever lie, much less get in a fight with anyone. Karate and a secret boyfriend! Not even the craziest stories she heard about the aliens ever went so far off base. "Yeah, you're right," Michelle agreed and exhaled as the second bell rang as she shoved the whole silly thought away, "and even if you're not I'd hate it if you went all Daniel-San on me for listening to them."

The words were a joke until she heard the redhead suck in a breath and she saw her head shoot up and the rest of her just went still. Still in a way that looked so familiar, so much like how the Colonel did when he was surprised. "Crazy Girl?" Michelle asked, the words just coming to her like they had yesterday and they still fit just as well as she looked at the girl who was a good two inches shorter than her and moved like a…

No, not a dancer. "How…" Gwen started before she ducked her head and worried at the pen in her hand. "They told you about that?"

"You mean - ?" Michelle started before she felt her mouth drop as she realized just why the girl couldn't go shopping. "I thought you meant you had dance practice yesterday!" Or soccer or anything but karate as she tried to picture the skinny thing sitting next to her squaring off with anyone. It should have been funny and it almost was, but there was something in the way the other girl's eyes went to the door as the rest of their class drifted in. The same something that she'd seen in the Colonel's face anytime they went anywhere…

Especially when those green eyes narrow and Michelle's followed just in time to see the three who were standing in the door. She met Marci's eyes and the blond just glared before her nose touched the sky as they went by. "You can kick butt and they're still bugging you?" Gwen just shrugged at that whispered question. "And I'm calling you crazy?! Why didn't you just say so?"

"It's…" Gwen started as she dropped her voice, but she didn't look ashamed as she looked over for just a moment before her eyes dropped back down to her notebook. Just determined as her face twisted in a scowl and she said the words that she must have heard hundreds of times before. "It's not what ladies do."

It wasn't the words that made Michelle frown, not entirely. Just the memory of too many fancy dinners with too many bigwigs where she just had to sit in a dress that was too much and a smile she had to wear until her face ached while the Colonel went on and on. "So what? Being a lady is boring,"

That one made her new friend let out a noise that not even the Crazy thing couldn't even pretend wasn't a laugh and Michelle grinned at the sound. She grinned even as she wondered...

No, Karate was one thing, but a secret boyfriend? Nah. It was a fun thing to tease about, but even meeting the Prince seemed more realistic than that.

- o - o - o - o - o -

Angelwood Academy

Bellwood, California

Thursday, October 21st, 1999

2:49 pm

A month and change later, Michelle was finally feeling like she had found her bearings at school. She knew who was trouble, who preferred to keep to themselves because they were shy or withdrawn, and who was halfway decent. And that didn't even count the boys because why?

The broader and more comprehensive things to look out for were the harpies at school, who were led by Gwen's friend Marci. Gwen didn't like to talk about them. At all. Michelle took that as the warning sign it surely was, and figured out other details. Gwen didn't go anywhere that she could be cornered. Everyone seemed to have an opinion about Crazy Girl, and there was always one girl or another who would bring up the text messages from the end of the year and the 'boyfriend' who sent them.

The one that nobody had ever seen and the one everyone talked about. A boyfriend who somehow would reach out and have entire conversations via text with her in the middle of the day. During class, too. Even Mrs. Adams, even though she had the eyes of a hawk and that was what started all the drama to begin with. A boy that, privately, Gwen blushed madly over and insisted was just her doofus of a cousin who had more rocks in his head than common sense. Michelle believed her and said as much.

No, really, she did!

Still, that never stopped her from wondering. Especially when Marci kept poking at Gwen about it, but always in snide, sidewards ways that helped Michelle to redefine the word 'catty' in her mental dictionary. Michelle would have preferred a straight fight with kicking and hair-pulling and slapping, but Marci did her work with words and gossip, and that Michelle had less armor against. There was one thing that definitely worked to get under Marci's skin, though.

Michelle didn't scare off, and the blond-haired bully hated it. She hated that Gwen Tennyson had someone backing her in her corner and that nothing she said knocked her loose from it.

She should have known that she'd be next.

It was the end of the day and Gwen was actually excited for once, in the way that she didn't have to fake. Their class was going on a field trip tomorrow, and they were chartering an entire Greyhound bus to do it. The First Contact Museum out in Washington was sending around a traveling exhibit, and they were getting to go down to Sacramento to see it. The Lebanese-American would have been lying if she'd said she wasn't looking forward to it a little bit; a day off from school? The chance to see something interesting? The only downside in her mind was being stuck on a bus with everyone else for the hours it'd take to get there, and the hours to get back. But she'd be sitting with Gwen at least, and assuming that she could keep her friend from spending all of her time with her face buried either in a book, that journal she loved to read, or her phone, the time should pass quickly enough. She just had a permission slip to take to the office; the one that the Colonel had been too busy to sign and her mama kept forgetting about it as she tried to turn a thousand packed boxes back into a home.

"Don't take too long," Gwen said, waving goodbye. "My mother and I will be waiting out front, but we'll have to pull into regular parking. You remember what her minivan looks like?"

"And her license plate number, Crazy, you can relax." Michelle fought off the urge to roll her eyes. "I'll be right behind you."

"Okay, if you're sure." Gwen hefted her bag, smiled, and waved as she walked down the hallway that led to the front entrance and the drive-thru lane. "See you soon!"

Michelle slipped into the office, greeted the school secretary, and handed over the permission slip. The principal was there and gave her a wave, and Michelle gestured to the note that would allow her to go tomorrow, and the woman smiled and nodded. Message received. She was set.

Heck, aside from having to wear the school uniform tomorrow, it was almost going to be like a vacation. Those pleasant thoughts lasted until she stepped outside of the office and made for the doors, stopping when she heard girlish giggling and loud whispers from the connecting hallway just before the exit. More girls gossiping and spreading rumors, and…

"Can you imagine how insufferable the Teacher's Pet is going to be tomorrow on the trip?" The first said, a little louder than before, and Michelle froze up and stopped before passing into their line of sight. She pressed herself against the wall and inched closer, waiting for them to keep talking. And they did.

"Don't forget about her little 'friend', either." The second scoffed. Michelle thought she recognized the voice, but she was still memorizing names. If she could see the girls' faces she could probably figure it out though. "Not that I expected much from a girl who was raised on an army base, but she just doesn't get it. There's a reason we don't put up with Tennyson."

"I guess the Teacher's Pet finally decided that she wanted a pet of her own." The first giggled, and they both laughed at that while Michelle's hands tightened into fists.

"God, did you see her little puppy at lunch today while they were running to the library?" The second girl asked in mock outrage. "It's so sad that she doesn't have a tail she can wag."

"I know! At least her boyfriend has enough shame to keep his head down, but Michelle might as well let Gwen lead her around the school by a leash!"

Well, that tore it. Michelle let her flats hit the floor harder than they needed to as she took two steps and rounded the corner. "A leash?" She asked with a grin that she'd seen on a few of the soldier's faces, one that got more rictus as the two spun around and went pale. "The Colonel never needed anything that long. He said he just needed a shoelace and a pencil to shut people up." And now that she saw their hair she recognized them. Nadia and Kira, even if she couldn't remember which was which. They weren't part of the Trouble Trio of Marci, Blair, and Olivia, but they were chomping at the bit to take the top spot among the Populars. They weren't the same kind of threat as Gwen's bully, but Michelle always kept an eye on them anyway just because of that.

Crazy. She was in school and she was building what her dad would have called threat assessments in the field.

"Oh, hi. We were...um…"

"We didn't mean it!" The first girl - the one with black hair - blurted out, huffing a little and trying to pretend that she was offended at what her friend had said. "Nadia was just getting carried away."

"I'm sure you were," Michelle said as she folded her arms. "I also see you don't feel the need to apologize." She tapped her foot after that as the two sputtered, then pointedly looked down at the top of it. Her Mary Janes didn't have laces, but she knew that they got the message anyway when she looked up again and the two were pale even before she asked in a sickly sweet voice, "Maybe you two are the ones who need leashes?"

Kira squeaked and went even whiter before she went running off as Nadia gave her a look of disgust and huffed before storming by with her nose pointed up in the air.

"Bitches," Michelle whispered under her breath. She waited until they disappeared around a corner, took a deep breath, and then headed outside.

The sky was gray and overcast, but it wasn't raining. She slid through the rows of idling cars and the two buses that still hadn't left yet, and made her way into the parking lot. She spotted the light blue minivan that Gwen's mom drove and turned towards it even before Gwen opened up the side door and stuck her head out, waving an arm furiously. It was enough to make Michelle sigh and shake her head as she kept walking towards them.

Which made Crazy Girl stop, blink, and then frown as Michelle climbed in beside her in the middle seat of the van and pulled the door shut. "Something wrong?"

Michelle mustered a laugh she wasn't quite feeling and shook her head. "Nah. I'm just not liking the look of this sky. I thought California was supposed to be sunny all the time. Somebody lied to me in all those travel brochures."

Gwen's mom laughed a little at that. "So, did you two have a good day at school?"

"Good enough," Michelle answered her, clicking her belt buckle into place. "But I'm looking forward to tomorrow."

"Me too." Gwen grinned, though with a little wrinkle in her forehead that let Michelle know Gwen wasn't done picking away at whatever she'd seen in her face. "And my dad even gave me some money in case they have a gift shop. He said he wants something ugly he can hang on his wall at work to beat all the stuffed fishes the other lawyers like collecting."

"Honestly." Lili Tennyson sighed, putting the van into reverse and looking over her shoulder as she backed up. "Gwen, do me a favor and get him something tasteful. Like a coffee mug?"

"But mom, dad said…"

"I have an idea." Michelle blurted out, cutting off the argument. It was cute to see Gwen and her mom face off, they were both stubborn and she could see exactly where Gwen got it from. "Why not get him a keychain thing?" Gwen blinked at her in confusion and Michelle went on. "You know, like a little plastic alien figurine that he can attach to a keychain? That way, he'll always be staring at it any time he drives."

"Ooh." Gwen's eyes lit up. "He might just attach it to his briefcase, though. And I better get two before the Doofus steals it for his backpack!"

"I can see it now, your father walking into a courtroom with an alien keychain dangling from that black briefcase of his…" Mrs. Tennyson huffed as Michelle frowned at the last. A look that vanished by the time the woman pulled them out of the parking lot and a second before either of the Tennysons could catch her. "Michelle, you're a horrible influence, you know that?" But Lili smiled and winked in the rear-view mirror when she said it.

"I try." She said with a grin, and Gwen actually laughed and nudged her arm a little. It was such a small thing from anyone else, but from the girl next to her, the one who still froze at hugs, it meant the world. So what if some kids thought she was Gwen's pet. It wasn't true.

Everyone else just didn't know what a friend looked like anymore.

- o - o - o - o- o -

Bell Aurora Ice Rink

Bellwood, California

January 8th, 2000

2:08 pm

Thanks to her parents, Michelle knew how to set up a tent, build a fire, cook a meal, and scorch someone's eyebrows off with a glance, and that was just what she learned from her mother. None that any of it helped her now.

Maybe something the Colonel said would have if she paid any attention. She wished she had now even though a life in the army was the last thing she wanted. "Better than being a rodeo clown," she muttered to herself because that was exactly what she felt like right now. One that had a bull right behind them without a barrel in sight, too, because the crowd she was holding back? It sure as hell felt like some kind of stampede all trying to get by her and to get out there where Gwen and her cousin Ben were…

Were what, exactly?

"Come on, Michelle! You have to let us out there! What if she needs help?" One girl pleaded as Michelle braced herself between the ice rink's front doors and used both hands to pull and keep them closed. "Where's Julio?! He could - "

"Like she needs his help to push that shrimp around, Maria! Look at him, he's a scrawny little twig. You saw what she did to Sean and Flint and they were huge compared to that boy!" Another girl snapped, and Michelle couldn't get a bead on her face before the next one was talking and jostling. Some of the smarter ones had figured out that they weren't getting past her and were instead moving to the edges, pushing others down and going up on their toes for a better look at the action happening on the other side of the glass doors. Michelle didn't think that Gwen and Ben would ever come to blows, she didn't get that impression from him when she'd finally gotten to meet him right before Christmas, but she had no doubt that the two of them could get into epic yelling matches. She'd seen Gwen go off on people before, and Ben's eyes when she'd gone outside to back her best friend up had the same fire that Gwen's had.

The same fire, and the same hurt.

"What are they doing? What's going on? Is she beating him up yet?"

"No, they're just yelling at each other."

"Yelling?"

"Talking really loudly, anyways."

"Can you hear what they're saying?"

"They're outside and we're inside and it's cold and windy and nobody here knows how to be quiet!"

"OHMIGAWD!" One of the girls at the window gasped loudly, which did more to shut anyone up than shoving, jostling, and them yelling at each other had managed. "He gave her his jacket!"

"He did what?" Another girl - one that Michelle recognized as Nadia just from the dirty blond hair and for a split second imagined biting - said as she went up even higher on her toes to try and look over everyone else. It was enough to make Michelle risk it and turn her head to the side, not enough to let go of the doors but enough to get a look at the two cousins outside with her peripheral vision. It was enough that she could see a shivering Gwen slip on his coat and huddle in it.

"She put it on!" The same excitable twit at the window shrieked, and what followed was a mixture of shrieks and gasps and little squeals.

"Oh my God, that's so romantic!"

"I remember my mom talking about stuff like this, how her high school sweetheart would let her wear his Letterman's jacket!"

"Oh, you can't be serious! He's just being halfway decent, it's freezing out there. And after he hit her with that snowball he owes her!"

"Who is he? I don't remember ever seeing him at our school!"

"He's not from our school!"

"Wait! You think that could be…"

"Her secret boyfriend?!"

"OhmiGAWD, the one she got in trouble for texting in class last year? What was his name?"

"God, Traci! How would we - ?!"

"I think I heard Mr. Tennyson call him Ben when he got here."

"Ben?"

"What kind of name is - ?"

"The best kind! Ben and Gwen! They rhyme!"

Scratch the barrel, Michelle thought to herself as the herd let out a cooing noise louder than anything she'd ever heard on base and surged against her again with the same grace. What she wanted was one of those smoke grenades she'd seen the Colonel play with. One filled with sleeping gas. A lot of sleeping gas. And maybe a gas mask for herself. Maybe. Wrangling all the freaking girls in their class was exhausting work, she could use a nap.

Honest to God, how was being the It Girl worse than being the one that everyone was gunning for? Not that it was all their fault. Everything was fine until Ben somehow found a snowball and chucked it at…

Her brain stuttered as she was pressed against the door and again when she saw Gwen reach her arms up and pull Ben into a hug. Of course, that just made everyone else start shrieking their heads off.

"This is better than a soap opera!" One girl swooned. And if it was noisy before, that was nothing compared to the volume after she let him go, and less than thirty seconds later, he hugged her back. After that, the pushing and the shoving were back in full force, and it took everything she had to hold them back from spilling out into the parking lot.

"Would you all just back off and give them a little privacy?!" Michelle yelled at them, as their hands started clawing at her arms, trying to break her grip, trying to get past her.

Then the doors were pulled open from the outside and she almost fell backward. And when she turned, there was Gwen, her face only a few shades less red than her hair with one hand clutched at the front of Ben's jacket to keep it pulled closed. There was no holding back the tide after that, and all the girls came pouring out, swallowing Michelle and Gwen in a crowded circle full of eager questions.

"Are you all right, Gwen?"

" - wearing his jacket? That's so - !"

" - to tell us all about him! Where did you two - ?"

" - the one that you're always text - ?"

" -your boyfriend? Is his name really - ?!"

"He's not her boyfriend!" Michelle tried to yell into a crowd that didn't care about her at all anymore more. Not as they dragged Gwen back inside. That thought kept her going as she tried to push her way through the crowd, but it didn't brighten her up nearly as much as when her best friend looked back behind her to the doors with slightly terrified, hopeful eyes. That lasted until she realized that Gwen wasn't looking for her.

She was looking for him.

That's what Gwen said, that Ben wasn't her boyfriend. That they were cousins and it didn't matter what it looked like right before Christmas. The one she spent with him. New Years, too. For the first time, though, Michelle found herself out in the cold, looking at her friend with what had to be a stupid look on her face, and throwing a glance over her shoulder back at Ben, who looked just as poleaxed.

He's not her boyfriend...right? She would have told me if he was.

But she was wearing his jacket. And she gave him glomp hugs in the middle of the street. And now they were hugging each other in parking lots when she wasn't wearing any shoes. On their birthday. In front of everyone.

And for the first time, Michelle found herself wondering just who was lying after all.

- o - o - o - o - o -

Angelwood Academy

Bellwood, California

11:39 am, April 12th, 2000

Michelle heard so many other rumors in the three months that followed. She could understand why Gwen didn't even bother reacting to them anymore or pretended not to hear them. Some, though, scraped too close to things that she knew or suspected. Some touched on hurts even she felt.

" - called her house and she was out again! How many Friday nights is this?"

" - asked her if she'd be willing to spend one night a week helping out with the planning for the school dance and she said no, she was too busy. Like that's ever stopped her before, she has her nose in everything! I thought for sure we could shove it all off on her hands!"

" - can't believe that she's still texting in class and none of the teachers can catch her doing it. It's not fair!"

" - see the look on her face when she's using her phone? The way she smiles. She never smiles like that for anyone else. I don't care what she says, she is so in love with that boy we saw on her birthday. I mean, she's willing to share her party with him? Who would do that?"

Because he's her cousin, Michelle would think in the back of her mind, but never say out loud. Because even if it was true she couldn't throw that kind of meat to the wolves. Besides, it wasn't like she could throw stones. Not when she couldn't stop looking at the picture in her living room that dust never touched. Her mother made sure of that, and it wasn't because the man was such a good actor.

And besides, there'd been no sign of what she'd seen the last day before winter break. She'd not even seen Gwen together with Ben since their birthday, so she must have been fooling herself. The rumor about them being together had to be wrong. They were just...really good friends. That had to be it. And Gwen certainly didn't say or do anything to change that. Not as she did her best to hide from the mob.

Which might have been a mistake, because if everyone else saw what Michelle did as they avoided everyone else. If they saw how the crazy thing acted... not distracted. Not exactly. More like she did when a teacher pulled out all the stops on a test. One that only she saw as she somehow got even more lost in the books she always carried around. Which didn't keep her from rolling her eyes and sniffing when people asked her if she was expecting to get flowers or chocolates delivered to her on Valentine's Day, but that didn't change things.

Even if it did explain the impossible thing that happened in Math class not a few weeks into April.

An impossible thing that came with rumors that were too ridiculous, too hurtful, and too idiotic to not nip in the bud as soon as they got started. Like the one Michelle heard when she walked into the bathroom and overheard three girls talking to each other while they stood at the mirror and freshened up their lip balm and nail polish.

"A 91!" The first said with a gasp that didn't do a thing to hide her glee. "Can you believe it?! Little Miss Perfect barely even got an A!"

"I know!" The second one all but cooed. "And did you see her face? I thought the poor thing was going to faint!"

Michelle ground her teeth at the words as she stood there, but she didn't say a thing. Not when they were true. Not when she'd been in the room as the teacher let it slip, his words full of worry as everyone else gasped.

Even her.

And then Michelle heard her thoughts echoed back at her, only hers didn't come with an excited little bounce. "I hope everything is okay!" Because her Crazy Girl sure didn't look like it was after, not as she stared at the test for the rest of the class like she could will the red Xs away.

" - And Ben didn't break up with her!"

"Of course he wouldn't! I'll bet you that she's giving him math tutoring."

"I'll bet you that's how they met." The words sounded so excited even as they twisted. "That's why she's freaking! He won't have to pretend he likes her if she can't do the work!"

"That still doesn't explain - " the third started.

Then the first gasped into her hands. "...Oh. Oh, no, that's too impossible…"

"Abby? What is?" The brunette on the left side of the mirror looked over to her friend.

"I think I know why her grades are slipping," Abby said, in a dumbstruck voice that turned to hateful glee. "What if she's pregnant?"

"What?!" The middle girl gasped, and the right one just stared with blown-wide eyes from under the curtain of dark hair around her face.

"No, think about it, Meg!" Abby said, putting her lip balm down and waving her arms excitedly. "She tutors everyone who asks, right? So she meets this boy, and then she's texting him all the time, right? Do you remember what Marci read from their messages? And then at the party, why does he throw that snowball at her? Because she's ignoring him! And then the jacket? The hugs? And then after, when she's so distracted all the time?" Abby looked positively gleeful, and Michelle ground her teeth as the other two seemed to finally catch up to her strange thought. "I think Little Miss Perfect ended up falling in love and kept it all a secret from us, and now she's teen pregnant and running scared!"

"Hq! Hdha yakfaa!" Michelle couldn't listen to this idiocy any longer, and this was one rumor that couldn't go ignored. She slammed her fist into the side of the paper towel dispenser next to the door, which made all three of the girls jump and squeak and spin sound. Michelle gave them her best death glare.

"If I hear anybody else in this school spreading those lies, and I'll come for you three bitches," Michelle growled out. "You hear me? I will End You."

Their faces went pale and Michelle didn't know or care if it was because they were caught out or from the threat. It didn't matter any more than when the second blustered and tried to sound indignant and not like she was going to run, "You - you can't threaten us!"

Michelle smiled. "A threat?" She stepped towards them and the three girls backed up away from the sinks and the counters. "I'm Army. We don't do threats. We do warnings and we only ever give one."

She washed her hands while the three kept staring at her, half-expecting her to come railing at them with fists and fingernails. Please.

Michelle shook her hands to get some of the water off, then looked back at them again.

"You all need to find a new hobby. She's better than any of you, and it's not because she gets better grades, or because the teachers like her. It's because she doesn't waste time gossiping or spreading little rumors. She's a better person than you'll ever be and she proves it every time you come crying to her for help...and if you try to tear her down? I'll be right there to stop you. Every. Time."

"This is why you haven't made any friends," The third girl snapped out, bitter and venomous. Michelle snorted and went for the paper towels, noticing the little dent in the side that she'd put into it. No wonder her hand was a little sore.

"Quality over quantity," Michelle said, wiping her hands dry and walking out. The rest of the walk was a red blur as she tried to imagine spending years in this school all alone. No wonder her friend was so Crazy. No wonder…

And then she was in the library and staring at her best friend's back as she sat inside the librarian's cramped little office behind the checkout counter with her books and notebooks all spread out across the desk like she belonged there. And she did. Mrs. K didn't even blink when Gwen asked and only nodded at Michelle from her books as she went by. Michelle felt sick wondering just how many lunches her friend spent in there because of the girls she just left behind.

The girl and the empty lunch bag by her side. The one that Gwen sometimes forgot she even had when the year started but emptied every day now. And that was enough that Michelle froze in the doorway. That and the way she had her feet curled up under her as she curled up around her notebook with a sigh that Michelle heard her mom make every day when she was carrying…

No! It was crazy and Gwen just turned twelve and Ben was her cousin and she was smarter than that!

Just like so many of the other girls on base thought they were until they were caught staring at a stick in the bathroom...

That thought stole away all the stomp in her steps as her hands found her braid again as her eyes settled on the stuff that was spread out across the table. One was the math book that Gwen pulled out the second their study period started and wasn't even looking at now even though she had the sheet of problems that she'd begged for right in front of her. Begged. (The rumors weren't all lies. The teachers really did love Gwen and her friend really was crazy. Who else would ask for extra credit after getting an A?)

Extra credit Gwen ignored as she sat back with just a pencil and the notebook that was folded open in her lap. A notebook that seemed like it was her whole world as she scribbled in it as Michelle snuck up and glanced over her shoulder.

She didn't know why. She didn't know what she would see except for maybe some notes, which there were plenty of - and all of it in the tiny writing that Michelle loved and hated all at the same time - but Gwen ignored all of it as she just wrote the same words over and over again in the corner; Gwen Tennyson. Gwendolyn Tennyson. Gwendolyn Rose Tenny-. And she did it with a smile so dopey that Michelle almost laughed when she saw it reflected in the blank computer monitor that she'd let share the desk with her stuff and asked if the crazy thing had forgotten. Almost, until that smile faded away in the middle of the last name and let out a sigh that seemed so tired as she spun the pencil around.

And that was when Michelle knew, and she couldn't help sucking in a breath even as the words disappeared. One that broke the spell and made Gwen slam the notebook shut even as she spun around, pale-faced, and worried until she saw who was standing there. "Michelle?!"

That gasp should have made Michelle's day. Especially when her best friend put so much into it. Enough that the librarian would have come running if anyone but Gwen had yelled that loud. Now the woman just gave them a look and closed the door behind Michelle even as the redhead frowned and stood up. "What happened? Are you okay?"

Are you? Michelle almost asked as she gave her hair another tug and did everything she could not to throw up as her eyes shot down to her friend's stomach, which looked flat under the sweater and dress blouse that they both wore, but so did her mom's until… "You'd tell me, right?"

"Tell you what?" Gwen asked with a blink and a frown that crinkled her brow. Her worry face, Michelle remembered joking once. It didn't seem funny now. Not as the girl reached over and took her hand even as her eyes darted all around. "What's going - ?"

"If you were in trouble, you'd tell me, right?" And Gwen's eyes flickered away. Not for long. Not even for a heartbeat, but they did, and Michelle knew. "Oh God," she breathed even as she grabbed her best friend and pulled her into a hug. "We're going to get through this, Crazy Girl," she promised and she was so glad that no one else ever came in the library during lunch. "And I'm going to kill Ben when I see him again for doing this to you! I'm going to - !"

"Ben?" Gwen squeaked out even as she squirmed away. Then those green eyes were back, confused and worried and so, so wide all at the same time. "What did he do? What are you talking about?!"

"You don't have to pretend! I know he got you - !" Michelle started, the words an angry and worried hiss before she heard herself and choked on the last one. Choked on it so hard that she tasted something bitter that she swallowed back down before she could even squeak out the word she didn't dare say in English. "Enceinte."

And she thought that Gwen's eyes were wide before as her mouth dropped open as she got so flustered that she tripped over her own words. "WHAT?! I'm not - ! How?! Where - ? " Then she slammed her mouth shut and her lips turned into a thin line as her face twisted in a scowl as she crossed her arms. "Oh. You listened to them."

"I - " Michelle tried to say, tried to deny it all in the face of those cool words. "You - " were only twelve, the sensible part of Michelle broke in. The part that blushed until her face matched her hair only a month ago when Michelle spent a rare night over and Crazy Girl had to sneak through her mom's purse because she didn't plan ahead and Gwen hadn't…

Somehow this was even worse. There weren't any words then or now as her fingers found her hair. She tried to find them anyway as she hung her head. "I'm sorry."

"Bad Michelle." The words were a tease that didn't help. Not like the hand she felt squeeze hers even as she pulled at her hair. "That's why I don't pay them any attention."

"And that's why you're going to be the valedictorian when we get out of here next year," Michelle said as she let herself smile a little. She could hardly help it. Not when her friend looked so worried for her instead of mad even if a flush was still kissing her cheeks.

"Not if I don't get this geometry down…" Gwen grumbled as she sat down, but she didn't let go of Michelle's hands. Not for a second, not even as she picked up the red notebook she'd dropped and opened it. Michelle took it all in and didn't say a word. She just nodded and felt light-headed as she sat down, too, next to her and reached for the book she'd left behind so she could help.

Reached, but never touched as Gwen said from out of nowhere in a rush, "You'rethefirstpersonI'dtell."

"Wha - ?"

"Nothing!" The red head's face matched her hair as she ducked her head and stared down at her extra credit again. But it didn't stay there for long and there was so much in her eyes when she looked over again. "I…" she started and stopped and Michelle could hear all the hope and warmth and worry and under it all, the sureness that this was all something that would just end. She heard it all in one quick swallow before words came out again barely any slower. "I - if I was, you'd be the first person I'd..."

And even after a year, the girl still froze as she got glomped, but Michelle didn't care and she didn't let go. Not even after she felt her best friend relax and hug her back. Which didn't mean she was perfect. "Even before Ben?" Michelle asked because she couldn't help teasing. The words were a joke and not all at the same time. "Your boyfriend?"

"He's not - !" Gwen tried to say as Michelle watched her stumble over her words like she always did when Ben came up. The only difference was that the words didn't come with an eye roll or a sniff, just a look of pure misery as more words tumbled out. "We - "

"I know!" Michelle blurted out even as she leapt forward to hug her friend again just so she could make the ache in her gut disappear. Not that it did, not even as she pulled Gwen close and whispered. "I'm just teasing you, Crazy Girl."

Gwen would tell her if he was. Michelle knew that just like she knew that it didn't matter what the rumors or her gut said, she wasn't lying. Not Gwen. Not when her best friend couldn't hide anything.

- o - o - o - o - o -

The Way We Were Vintage Boutique

Bellwood California

6:58 pm; May 19th, 2000

There weren't any other girls around when Michelle found out just how wrong she was.

No girls, no teachers or parents, no school at all. Just a couple of teenage girls at the counter by the front door who never looked up from their magazines and more clothes than Michelle ever imagined. Enough that it almost filled the store that used to be a house and was too crowded with hangers and displays by half. Crowded with everything but the redhead who should have been waiting for her outside the changing room door.

"Gwen?" Michelle asked with a laugh as she stood there for just a moment before she grabbed the hem of her borrowed dress and ran with a giggle and a shout, "Cheating isn't going to help you win, you stinker!"

Maybe the laugh faded a little after she passed by the third empty room and dashed up the stairs in the back as the old beige carpet tickled her bare feet. Maybe she let a lifetime of chasing little brothers as they ran around and hid in whatever store they were in get to her as she ran faster and faster, and maybe she jumped on Gwen a little harder than she had to when she finally found the girl in the little room at the back.

Maybe, but the way the redhead shrieked as they both went tumbling into the clothes rack that she was standing in front of was the second-best sound Michelle heard all day. The only thing better was the way Crazy Girl shouted her name after they hit the ground.

Almost shouted. Shouting was tough when half her face was buried in T-Shirts. So was keeping a straight face as Michelle shouted right back into the weird slick fabric that covered her friend's shoulder, "Don't you 'Michelle' me young lady!" Impossible in fact. Impossible enough that the growl she'd heard from her mom so many times was lost in her giggles as she hugged her best friend tight and let the worry slip away. "Sorry."

Gwen just sighed at that as she shoved them both out of the t-shirts, the ones that were somehow still on the rack and all the ones that were piled on the floor now. It was such a long-suffering sigh that Michelle couldn't help leaning into so she could brush her lips against the girl's cheek even as she asked, "Who do you think you are, running off and hiding like that? Matthew?"

God, her littlest gremlin was horrible when they went shopping. Horrible enough that the store called the police once, and the look he had when they found him…

It was almost as evil as the one that Michelle could just see tugging at her friend's lips even as Gwen lifted her chin and sniffed, "Of course not." She sounded so offended as she said it. Then her control cracked and a wicked smile spread over her face, "I'm not nearly as cute!"

Michelle just laughed at that and let go so she could give the girl a shove. "Don't even! Not after I spent the last five minutes tearing this store apart looking for you and that drop cloth you're wearing!"

"It is not!" Gwen gasped in mock outrage at that as she spun around fast enough that her dress would have spun with her if it had a little more room, even if it was around her calves instead of her knees like it should have been. A white one that looked like it was made out of plastic that someone had dripped neon paint on in shapes that were almost flowers. One that fit just as well at the top as it did at the hem because neither of them had the chests for what they were wearing. "I saw my grandmother wearing one just like this and - !"

Not yet, but that was okay. They were both wearing camisoles and fitting didn't matter. Not today. It wasn't part of the game. Not that the fit had anything to do with her friend's emerald eyes going as wide as saucers the moment she spun around. It didn't have anything to do with her clapping her hands over her mouth or the gasped "Michelle!" that slipped out from between her fingers.

"I know, right?!" Michelle laughed again as she grabbed up the hem of her dress again so she could spin and show it off, which only made the colors worse. "This dress looks like I tasted the rainbow and threw up!"

"Michelle!" Gwen gasped again even as she made a sound that would have been a giggle from anyone else, except Crazy Girl didn't. That's what she said anyway, even as one slipped out between her fingers and it only made it better. "No fair! We just got here and you already won!"

Michelle stopped quick at that - quick enough that the dress didn't figure out that she stopped for another quarter rotation, and then it went spinning back the other way - and cocked her head. "Not yet! But I will if you don't get out of here and find something good!"

They'd only peeked in a few of the rooms so far, but they were all such a riot of color and styles that she knew there was stuff still hiding that was even worse than the mess of colors she was already wearing. Maybe even something that would make the Crazy Girl she was tugging on giggle out loud. A Crazy Girl who followed her for all of three steps before she shouted, "Hold on!" and pulled her hand free.

"Your phone!" Michelle gasped in realization as she spun around. Realization and horror, because it had pictures of the dresses they wore before these and even though they weren't even half as bad she couldn't imagine anyone else seeing them. Not without spending the rest of her life with a bag over her head. It figured that this would be the first time that Gwen would let the stupid thing out of her sight all year!

It was almost a relief when she spotted the thing sitting on the windowsill not two feet away from the rack.

Only almost though, because Gwen completely ignored her flip phone as she threw herself into the tangled pile of shirts because her best friend was born an old lady and that was half the reason she loved her. The other half was because of stuff like this. Who else would go shopping for ugly clothes?

Crazy. So Crazy.

"I'm sorry I made a mess, but…" Michelle said as she eyed her watch, but the girl didn't hear her so she grabbed up some loose hangers and knelt with a sighed, "Fine."

Only to get her hand slapped away when she reached for the black one Gwen's digging uncovered at the bottom of the heap. "Ow! What are you - ?" She started as Gwen grabbed it up and gave it a look before she tossed it away. "Gwen?"

"Nothing!" Gwen said, the word too fast as she threw that one away, too. "I mean, we can hang them up in a second! I'm just…" The rest of the sentence just petered out as the girl grabbed up one black shirt after another, and Michelle felt the nervous ball in her stomach get bigger with each one until she finally let out a squeal of joy as she held up one. One that had cities and dates splashed in messy white letters on the back. Dates that were so much older than either of them and disappeared as the girl hugged it to her chest, and the look on her face when she did…

Michelle squealed when she found the rainbow-colored horror she was wearing and that same joy was written all over her best friend's face now. Heck, she looked even happier and that didn't seem possible. Michelle just blinked at it before she stared at the shirt and shook her head in wonder. "It can't be that good! I mean, no one looks bad in a t-shirt you crazy thing! I don't care what it says on the front! It's your game, play it right!"

She wasn't even sure if the girl was listening until she finally nodded and hugged the shirt tight as she got back up, her face still beaming brighter than the lights overhead. "Okay. Let's go! I saw a dress that's going to make you sick when I was coming up here. One with sequins and - !"

Michelle just stared as the redhead ran for the doorway. She stared and bit her lip as she said, "Don't forget your phone," even as she stared at the shirt that the girl didn't show any signs of pulling on.

"Right!" Gwen said with a bright chirp that made Michelle feel so much worse as she reached out with one hand for the thing on the sill, which made what she did next so easy. "Hey!"

There wasn't anything happy in that word as Michelle spun around and held out the shirt she just stole away. "I just wanna see!" She shouted, her stomach tight with guilt and her mind racing because she'd seen so many horrible shirts when she was on base. Shirts that none of the soldiers even thought about until they saw her, and it was always funny watching hundred and fifty-pound killing machines turn into a blushing mess when they did.

Messes that the girl at her back put to shame as she tried to reach around her. "Give that back!"

But Michelle was taller and her arms were longer. Not by much, but enough. "Come on, Crazy! After this dress I deserve a sneak peek!" Michelle started with a laugh even as she held the girl off. "How bad can it be? Are we going to get in trouble if mom sees it?! And I'm warning you right now that if it says 'I'm With Stupid' I'm going to - Detroit Rock City?"

Michelle froze as she read the words again and stared at the four men in white face paint who were splashed across the front until the thing was ripped out of her hands.

"It's not part of the game," Gwen snapped out, as mad as Michelle had ever heard her. Madder than she'd ever gotten at Marci or any of the bitches that they went to school with. Mad enough that her voice shook.

"Okay," Michelle said as she held up her hands and felt lost as she started babbling because she felt sick. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have - but why were you hiding it? So you're a part of the KISS Army? So what? It's a better one than mine! And why didn't you tell me?! We'll do it right when we get back to my house! You wanna look like the cat guy, right? I can do that! But it'll destroy my bottle of white face paint, you're so going to have to get me something cool while you're - "

Gone. She was losing her best friend for the next three months and she couldn't say the word. She was going to be here all alone and - and it might be longer than that because the redhead's scowl wasn't softening at all as she hugged the shirt close and that stole away her breath in a way even the rambling couldn't. "I - I'm sorry. I was just curious."

She hated how she sounded when she said those words. You couldn't stutter when you were the Colonel's daughter. Not even when your best friend was being scary intense about a t-shirt. If it was anyone else…

But it wasn't. It was her Crazy Girl, and this was just one more thing she'd seen over the last few months, one more little worry piled on top of another until she just wanted to hug her friend even as the girl hung her head and took a deep breath that didn't seem to help at all when the words started coming. "I - I know," Gwen said and if it was anyone else, she'd think that the girl was crying just from the way her voice shook, but it was Gwen. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have…"

If it was anyone else, a hug wouldn't even be a question, but her friend was like a bird, so Michelle moved slow. "It's a cool shirt, Crazy Girl. And a cool band. The Colonel plays them sometimes, so that's a knock against them. But if you like them…" She let the words trail away as she reached out and brushed her hand against her friend's.

The touch was soft and gentle and Gwen still jumped like it was a brand. Her face shot up and there was a hurricane of emotions in her eyes as her mouth moved without making a sound until she looked at the shirt again, and when she did they were four little words that were whispered so soft that she almost missed them. "It's not for me."

"Then who?" Michelle asked as she wrapped her fingers around Gwen's hand and held it tight. The redhead didn't even seem to notice the touch or the question. "Come on, Crazy Girl. Talk to me! You let Marci beat you on the Math test last month and now you're going all Mean Girl over a shirt?! If this isn't a cry for help I don't know what is!"

But Gwen didn't answer, she just stared at the shirt like it was the most important thing in the world even though Michelle couldn't imagine her ever wearing it.

Unless…

"Why didn't you tell me that Ben liked KISS?" The words should have been just another shot in the dark. A whispered one at that, but even Michelle could hear the edge in them. One that she hated the second she did and all the more as she watched her best friend flinch, but it was obvious what was going on. Obvious enough that all the denials were just so many lies that hurt, no matter how much Michelle pretended that they didn't. And they kept hurting even as she searched her best friend's heart-shaped face for any sign that she was wrong.

Which was the only reason she saw the wet sheen in those emerald eyes as they flew wide open and Gwen let out a strangled noise that Michelle had never heard her make before. Not even when Marci was in her face or the other girls in their class crowded her at her birthday party like she was the chum in a feeding frenzy.

She'd heard other people make the noise. Too many people on the last days before they came here and once when she and her mom had gone to deliver a get well plate of cookies to one of the older army brats back in Germany and stumbled across him getting hot and steamy with his girlfriend (The base General's daughter) in the living room and just like then, she felt the insane need to run. One she gave into with a rambly, "It'll look good on him! Better than that white shirt he's always wearing anyway. Getting a head start on Christmas? I just hope that's on sale. I don't even splurge when I'm buying presents for my little brothers. "

Gwen finally remembered how to breathe then, and mustered a weak laugh as she folded it up neatly. "Um. Yeah. It's good to get it done early, and I won't be able to hide anything I pick up on our trip."

It was reasonable, and it made sense, and it definitely sounded like the kind of thing Crazy would do. It still felt like a lie, though. Michelle felt like if she pressed her on it, though, that Gwen would clam up entirely, or go flying off the handle. "Come on, Crazy." Michelle sighed, grabbing her friend's arm and dragging her away from the store's T-shirt room. "It's Friday night and it's your turn to find something ugly!"

They did, and the purple thing that had more poofs on it than Michelle could count should have kept her attention as Gwen carried it into the dressing room, but it didn't. She kept her eyes on the shirt instead as it disappeared with her and it took everything she had not to say anything else about it.

- o - o - o - o - o -

Not saying anything just got harder and harder to do the longer the curtain stayed closed. Michelle tried to lose herself in the clothes that were scattered around the dressing room, but she couldn't keep her eyes off of it until she finally crossed the hall again, worry making her feet feel like they were made of lead the whole time until the dressing room was right there. Then she took a breath and knocked. "Crazy?"

The sound was almost as soft as the knock and she listened as hard as she could, but they sounded like thunder compared to the nothing she got in reply. "Gwen?" She tried again, then she let her head fall against the wood that used to be the frame of a walk-in closet. "I know - I know I shouldn't have grabbed the shirt. I just wanted to see what…" she swallowed the next few words as she closed her eyes and tried to keep the burning in her eyes from becoming anything else and her breath steady and it was so hard. "I'm sorry."

Maybe she heard a sound at that. Maybe. Michelle didn't know, but it was enough that she turned and slid down the walls because she needed to hug something right now and her knees were the only thing she had. "A - and I know you didn't want to come out tonight. That I made you."

Those words were so hard, almost as hard as seeing the look on her best friend's face when she asked. Hard enough that she felt something wet run down her cheek. Something she wiped away with the heel of her hand. "I don't blame you. Who wants to go shopping after a day at school and karate? I don't know how you do it all. They'd need an M88 just to get me out of bed if I tried." She hoped for a laugh and curled deeper into her knees when it didn't come. "That's a big tow truck that they use on… It doesn't matter. I just… You're going away in a couple of weeks and I just wanted to hang out."

Three months. Three months that seemed so much bigger right now as she let her face fall into her knees and even if Gwen forgave her it might be more if the Colonel had his way. She buried her face in the fabric and tried so hard not to cry into them because it wasn't her dress as she repeated, "I'm sorry."

"It's not for Christmas," she heard a voice croak out behind the curtain.

"What?" Michelle asked as her head sprung back up, but there weren't any more words. Not as she wiped her face or shoved herself back to her feet and reached out for the curtain. Reached and froze until she took another breath. "Say something if you don't want me in there, Crazy Girl."

She waited for three whole heartbeats before she pushed aside the fabric that might have been a curtain once. A heart that broke when she saw her best friend just sitting on the bench inside still in the dress that looked paint splattered and the one they'd found hanging from the rod with their uniforms as she stared down at the t-shirt in her lap.

Stared down and looked so lost.

Something else that she never thought she'd see on that face. Not on a girl who laughed at pop exams and faced down two bullies without blinking. Somehow, that was even worse than being freaked.

"It's not for Christmas," Gwen said again, her voice cracking and her green eyes glistening even if her face was still dry. "I'm sorry, I wanted to hang out, too, b - but I saw the shirts when we were looking around and…"

Or it was until Michelle sat down next to her on a bench that barely fit them both and pulled her close. Even then it was just one tear that ran down her cheek as she leaned her head on Michelle's shoulder. "So tell me what it is for."

"It's…" Gwen started and stopped and slumped and looked so miserable that Michelle's eyes filled again. "It's stupid."

"Good!" Michelle laughed. She couldn't help it and the other girl jumped or tried to. But there was a reason that Elias called her the octopus when she got huggy and she wasn't letting go now. "What? I can't be the only stupid thing in your life!"

"You're not!" Gwen said as her head shot up and the fire in her eyes. She would have hugged her friend for it even if she wasn't upset. And she did. She did until the girl let out a hiccup of a laugh and sank her head down on Michelle's shoulder again. "It's… The tournament we're having before I go..."

Michelle didn't say a word even though she already knew that. Her mom had it circled on the calendar, too, just in case she hit her head and forgot because they were all going again just to cheer. She wasn't going to miss this one. Not like she did the one right before Thanksgiving because of family. She would have seen Ben then if she went, she realized with a start.

It wasn't much, but the jolt shook something loose in the girl next to her. They were sitting that close. "We're in the same belt class now, so we'll be competing together and he's worked so hard since he signed up. I just wanted to get my Doofus something nice. I shouldn't have… " She took a breath and squeezed the shirt as she looked up. "How - how long have I been in here?"

Forever, Michelle didn't say. Or almost fifteen minutes. "Not long," she lied as she brushed her fingers through those red locks with one hand while she touched the shirt again with the other.

This time it didn't hurt when Gwen yanked it away. Not her anyway. She felt the little shudder against her hip and shoulder the second Gwen realized what she was doing and stopped. The question was right there, the same one she asked back during Christmas. The same one she swallowed down now because she was sure that the bird of a girl next to her would fly if she asked it. "What if he kicks your butt? Does he still get the shirt?"

The words were a tease that got the open-mouthed outraged hiss that was her Crazy Girl as she bolted up. "He won't!"

A look that just made Michelle grin at her. "But what if he does?"

"He won't! He's only been a green belt for a few weeks and I - "

"Totally going to kick your butt," Michelle sing-songed with an evil grin as she poked the shirt just so she could watch the other girl's face go through every emotion. "I've seen this movie before. So no shirt for - "

"No!" Gwen shouted as she grabbed it, but this time the word wasn't angry and she didn't look like a rat in a cage. This time she almost sounded surprised herself as she held it close, and her next words were as soft as her smile as she nodded. "No. I want him to know that I'm proud of him. Even if he wins. Which he won't."

"Because you're - " Michelle echoed as she stared at that smile, the same one she'd seen in class and at their birthday and that day before Christmas that seemed like a lifetime ago and she felt the one question she knew she could never ask just slip out, "How long have you liked him?"

Gwen was on her feet in a second, her eyes wide and scared as she babbled. "I don't! He's my cousin! He's a doofus and a - and a - " she stammered as she bounced on her toes and got ready to run. Michelle didn't move. She didn't dare. She just looked up into those green eyes and knew.

All the rumors, all the denials, and a whole year's worth of wondering why her bestie friend just couldn't tell her and Michelle never once even imagined that she wasn't the one Gwen was lying to. Some friend she was.

But she could be mad at herself later. Right now she just kept her voice gentle as she said, "And you like him."

"I - I don't! I just I - I - "

The redhead actually started to shake as she stammered out those words, and that was the only warning Michelle got. It was enough. Enough to get them both on the bench. Enough that wrapped her arms around her friend and squeezed her tight as she whispered, "You have best friend clearance, Crazy Girl. That's top of the line. You can tell me anything." The words were a promise, but she didn't think it would make the girl just crumble. She didn't know how many times she'd seen her mom hold other women just like this, or how many times she woke up with the woman holding her as she cried from one nightmare or another, but it was enough. Enough that she knew just what noises she should make until it passed.

Not that Gwen ever lost control. Even now her crying was still quiet and soft enough that no one came to check on them. Not that she imagined the two girls who they'd seen at the counter up front would have come anyway. Not when they'd been blushing and giggling over a Cosmo when they came in, but it saved her from lunging for the curtain and that was the only thing that would have made her let go right then.

"God, you must think I'm so…" the redhead finally croaked out when she was done.

"So crazy," Michelle agreed as she kissed the top of her friend's head. "At least as crazy as me."

"No," Gwen whimpered, and her voice cracked with the next word. "Sick. He's my cousin."

Michelle froze at the words even though she'd expected them months and months ago. Long enough back that she was sure she was wrong. And she couldn't even be mad. Not at herself or her bestie. Not when she saw the hurt in those green eyes and knew. She knew why the Crazy Thing looked like she never slept. She knew why her friend looked so distracted, she knew what words were going through her head over and over again that she never told anyone about. No one but her.

Some part of her knew why. She'd heard all the jokes. They were some of the tamer ones on base, and she still felt bad for anyone who was actually from Alabama. If she was just the Colonel's daughter…

But she wasn't. Her own voice cracked as she buried her face in her friend's hair. "You've seen my mother's shrine." They were words that she never said before. She didn't dare. The woman never said a word, not really. But she saw how she looked at the picture that followed them across the world. The one of a decent enough actor that the woman swore looked like the cousin Michelle never met because he was long gone. Not that it mattered.

Not any more than it kept her from wondering every time she saw it, and she'd been staring at it so much lately. Not over whether her mom loved her dad, she knew she did, but what would have happened if her home hadn't gone nuts, if her cousin hadn't been in the wrong place at the wrong time for all the best reasons and if her grandparents hadn't run all the way to Toledo after.

And some part of her knew that the girl she was holding wondered the same thing because she just went still. At least until Michelle laughed because at least she wasn't the only one who saw it. Maybe that's what made what she said next easier. Easier, not easy, so she made what she said next sound like a joke. "She wouldn't have even been the first. I've seen the family tree on my mother's side. There's a lot of branches curling back around if you know what I mean."

"Michelle!" Crazy gasped and she just smirked because teasing the girl was so easy and watching her squirm was such fun. Then the shock faded and something worse took its place on her face. "I know. I know that not everyone… I've searched the internet, but we're not in - "

"So what?"

Gwen sucked in a breath and wrapped her right arm around her middle, and for the first time ever she looked small as more words tumbled out. "Our parents won't - and -and he already hates his school and if anyone there finds out - and - and - "

"Screw them." The words should have gotten a laugh, but those green eyes got so big instead and it was so hard not to scream or shake the girl as she started to hyperventilate about all the things that could go wrong. She made herself smile instead. "It's the new millennium and screw them. Listen to you. God, I've watched you run yourself ragged for everyone else and this isn't about them! Be greedy for once or I'll - I'll flick your nose!"

She'd never seen a hand move so fast, or eyes glare so hot over it. "Don't you dare!"

"Then tell me the truth! What do you want?!"

"I don't know!" Gwen said, quick and miserable. "I've looked and looked and - and mom's old psych book just says that it's hormones, but... but it doesn't feel like..."

The redhead's voice trailed off then as Michelle just stared and she couldn't help asked. "Then what does it feel like? Give me words, Crazy Girl!"

She was ready for them. She was ready for an avalanche of them, but not a wild laugh as Gwen shook her head. "I looked for them, too! I went through the whole encyclopedia trying to find the ones that fit, and there were so many that were so close, but..." Like what. Michelle didn't get a chance to ask. She didn't even have a chance to start before the girl got going again. "Doofus was in there, Duh. So was annoyance, exasperation, freak, slacker, pest, and cousin." All of them should have sounded like they hurt, but they didn't. The redhead just smiled at each and every one as she pushed her hair out of her face.

"That's it?"

"No," Gwen said as her smile faded, but she didn't add any more. She didn't have to, Michelle could guess just from the way her best friend talked.
"What about lo - "

"No!" Gwen hissed in a panic before she could finish. "Maybe Ben would say that, but - but he doesn't think! He never does! He just rushes in and I have to - I have to make sure he doesn't get hurt!"

"You don't think that this is hurting him?" Michelle asked right back, even though she didn't have a clue. But she just knew what it was doing to the girl next to her, the one who looked so ready to run even as she hugged herself and just shook her head at the words. "Stop hiding behind excuses and tell me what you want!"

That teakettle sound came back, and Gwen's hand barely muffled it. Then words came back. Three little ones. "He's my Doofus." Three little words that made her face burn.

A face that Michelle didn't see for more than a second as she pulled her friend close again as she cooed, "And you luv him!"

The words got her another squeak of her name against her shoulder. Then there weren't any more words. Just a nod. One that started so small and might have come with tears like the ones that Michelle felt fill her eyes. She didn't even know how long they stayed like that before she finally let the girl slip out of her arms.

Out of her arms, but their hands found each other and Gwen squeezed even as she wiped her eyes. "God, I hate being like this."

"Human?"

Gwen started to shake her head at the tease before she caught herself again and nodded. She looked so prim for someone with wet red cheeks. "It's disgusting." She said, and then she giggled. A small one that she didn't even try to cover and was all the better because it was real for the first time in forever. Real enough that she finally heard the strain that had been in it for months now. Maybe even since they first met.

And her real laugh was beautiful.

Beautiful enough that Michelle just had to know even as her eyes burned again. "So, what are you going to do?" She asked as she kicked her feet back and forth.

"What?"

Michelle just gave the girl a look. "What are you going to do?" She asked again like that would help. "Telling me is great, but I'm not the one you wanna give smooches to, Crazy Girl! What are you going to do?"

"I - " Gwen started as her eyes darted away and her arms went around her middle and Michelle braced herself for all the words she knew was coming, all the ones she knew her friend had running through her head all this time. She was ready for those words - probably. She better be, or she'd never be able to look her grandparents in the eye again - but they weren't what she heard, even if the misery stayed the same. "I don't know. We've been hanging out so much ever since he kissed me at New Years but - "

Michelle blinked because there wasn't anything that could get her ready for what she just heard. "What?" She asked, the word erupting out of her just short of a scream. One she wished she could pull back as Gwen flinched. "Sorry! Sorry, but he kissed you already and you didn't tell me?!"

The nod was quick and scared and all she got, but it was enough that it sent Michelle spinning for the dresses that were hanging on the wall next to her. She buried her face in them as she screamed, "Crazy! Folle! Majnuneh! Verrücktes! Louca!" It was all the words for crazy she knew and one she looked up just because and it still wasn't enough. Not when her heart was pounding and her mind racing. New Years? Five months?! They hung out the whole next day and she didn't have a clue!

Five crazies wasn't even close to enough.

Or it wasn't until she heard the sucked in a breath behind her and the hurt in it. "Just forget it. I know that it's - "

"Oh, no you don't, Crazy Girl," Michelle said as she shoved the dresses away so she could spin around and catch the girl's hand. A hand that she pulled right back to the bench. The hand and the rest of her, which squeaked as Gwen's butt landed on it again. "I want to hear everything!"

And she did. The words came in little starts and stops at first, but she did.

- o - o - o - o - o -

" - tried to play it off like it was a game, but I know him. I know what it looks like when he lies and he so was!" Gwen said, the words a rush that was almost angry as she crossed her arms and leaned back in a huff. "I can't believe he thought I was mad at him! I just didn't know what to do!"

Almost angry, if there wasn't so much hurt in her voice as she crossed her legs too and kicked her foot. Angry enough that the air in the room felt thick like there was a storm coming. The kind that got the base locked down and then soldiers sent out after for search and rescue before the girl caught herself and went still as she closed her eyes. "Unless he… Maybe that's why…"

Somehow that was enough. Somehow the air lost some of its heat, even if Michelle's cheeks didn't. "No wonder you didn't want to come out tonight!" Tonight or any other Friday. She always wondered and tried not to feel bad. Now she didn't. Now she just smirked.

"I did!" Gwen said suddenly in the face of it. "I did, but - "

"But you'd rather be getting smooches!" Michelle giggled and hid her face in her friend's shoulder because she had to. A boyfriend. God, if it was anyone else she'd be so jealous. When there was a boy at her house when they still lived on base her mother made sure that every door in the house was open, even if they were just there to get a drink or go to the bathroom, and the Colonel was already making jokes about the cannon he'd fire her first boyfriend out of.

She should be jealous. Instead, she just laughed as every question she ever had spilled out. "What's it like? Is it soft? Is it gross? Is - I can't believe that your parents let you two get to get all snuggly around your laptop in your bedroom for your dates! So not fair! Does he put his arm around you like they do in the movies when he kisses you? Does he - "

Her mind raced at all of that as she pressed the back of her hand against her forehead and melted right there in the seat every bit as dramatically as the moment deserved. Dramatically enough that she almost missed it when the redhead started worrying at her hands and her eyes fell. "It's not - We haven't - Not since New Years."

The misery in those words took all the fun out of teasing and Michelle pushed herself back up. "What?"

"I know!" Gwen groaned as she buried her face in her hands. "I know I… but I keep waiting and - and we leave next week!"

Michelle tried to wrap her mind around that, around being in an RV with her boyfriend even if her Grandpa was right there, and she just couldn't. So she grabbed onto what she could and held it tight as the hand she was squeezing. "And he hasn't done a thing?" That got another wide-eyed shake of the head. One that sent red hair flying and her mind racing before Michelle realized. She laughed when she did, as her eyes burned again as she felt something slip away. "Of course he hasn't! He's waiting for you!"

"Wha - ?"

"It's a good thing you're cute," Michelle laughed at the words she never thought she'd get to say. Not to the smartest person she knew. About books anyway. And kicking butt. The rest… "You have to tell him! It's your move, Crazy Girl! He already made his."

"That's not what - " Gwen started, almost dumbstruck, then just stricken as she said. "What if - what if he doesn't? What if he stopped? What if he never - and - and half of all marriages end in divorce and most people don't even make it that far! What if - ?"

"Marriage? Divorce?" Michelle gaped at the girl who was breathing too fast next to her even as she hugged her close. "I knew you were on the crazy train, girl, but I didn't know you were riding it cross country! You better tell me what's going on in that head of yours before it explodes!"

"I - " Gwen stammered before she deflated and pulled her legs up and hugged her knees in close so she could bury her face in them. "What if I'm wrong? What if it really was just a joke and he doesn't… I'd never see him again! At least we're still friends now. What if - ? I can't..."

The words came out with whole sleepless weeks worth of worry in them. Enough Michelle almost felt sick, too. It was too much for her to hug away, so she did the only thing she could think of. "Then you find that out first!" Michelle said with a cackle that was only a little forced as she burst up to her feet and dragged her best friend with her, sputtering the whole way as they went in the one room they always avoided. The one where all the clothes were sized for them because that wasn't anywhere near as much fun, and dove into the racks. The dresses here were the same wild mixes of colors and styles.

Colors she ignored as she looked for blue as she pulled out one dress after another and shoved them against her friend's body before Gwen finally all but shouted, "What are you - these are all nice! That's not how you play the game!"

"Duh!" Michelle laughed again as she grabbed another dress, one that looked so good except for puffs so she tossed it aside. "We're done with games! This is serious now!"

"But - but - "Gwen sputtered as she grabbed for it. "I liked that one!"

"No!" Michelle said as she turned and swatted her hand away. "No! Bad Crazy! No more buts! And I'd kill for shoulders like yours and you're not hiding them anymore!"

That got her a blink and a look even as Gwen cradled her hand. Then the redhead turned and looked at her shoulders with the same look she saw every time she watched the girl tutor anyone in anything. "You would?"

"Yes!" Michelle said as she pulled out another dress. "Those bitches at school don't just hate you because you blow the curve, Crazy Girl. It's because - " her hand froze on the next dress. A pink thing that would have won the game if they were still playing as she remembered all the whispers she heard in the bathroom and the dirty looks… But they weren't the only ones looking. She forgot about the dresses and spun around as she remembered a little bit more of what she heard the girls at base say. The last little bit that made even some sense. "Do you still have those pumps I saw in your closet? The ones with the heels?"

"The ones that mom makes me wear for awards ceremonies?" Gwen looked so lost as she nodded, and her nose curled a little. "Yeah. It's not like I'm going to wear them out. They hurt!"

"That's what good shoes do! It's like a curse or something!" Michelle said with the sniff that those words deserved as she pulled her friend up to her tiptoes until it looked about right. Those heels were only two inches high, but she knew it would be enough when she looked around. "Perfect! He'll love your butt in those!"

The sound that those words got was a lot closer to the noise her mom's tea kettle made than anything that sounded like her name and she just waved it off. "Oh, please. He's a boy and if he's anything like the ones we go to school with..." The shudder that got was delicate. The smirk that came after wasn't. "I can't believe that you haven't - " And then she saw something flicker across Gwen's face. One that she always thought was so innocent and the clothes that she wore that were always so tight. "You have! What have you been wearing to your dates, you slut?!"

Gwen somehow squeaked out as her blush burned her face and raced down to the soft lace that lined her camisole. She looked so horrified before she got glomped again and Michelle whispered the words she heard other girls say to each other whenever one of them got freaked out right before a date. "It's okay to be a slut for your boy toy, you Crazy Girl." The words that heated her face even though she didn't understand them - not even after she heard almost the same thing on Buffy just a few weeks ago - but they always seemed to help and she could live with being embarrassed.

Besides, she could at least make words, and that was so much more than the brilliant girl next to her could say, and it was amazing! "Michelle! But - But - Ladies don't - " Gwen sputtered at the words before she sagged. "Really?"

"Yup!" Michelle laughed and she kissed the girl's cheek again. "You really are crazy."

"Am not!" The denial was as sharp as the hug she got back was soft. A hug that Michelle would have stayed in forever if the girl didn't let out a gasp and duck away so she could pull a dress off of the rack. "It's still here!"

One that made Michelle grin and clap her hands the second she saw it. "Perfect!"

A perfection that would have stayed if Gwen's face didn't fall as she found the tag. "I have enough money for the shirt, but…"

Michelle only winced a little when she saw it, and then the clouds parted and she heard just what she was waiting for. "Girls?" She spun and saw her mother standing in the hall behind them, saw her as her face went ashen and she gasped into her hands. "Habibi, what are you wearing?!"

"It's all part of the game, Mama," Michelle laughed as she ran over and gave the woman a hug that was more than returned. A hug she stayed in as she looked up with the biggest eyes she could and said in the only language that fit, "Maman, mon amie folle veut faire quelque chose de fou. Pouvons-nous l'aider?"

She heard Gwen gasp behind her and almost laughed at the lost look in her mother's dark eyes as she looked up and over her head. Almost, if her heart wasn't so tight in the moment before her mama shook her head and it was all over.

- o - o - o - o - o -

" - talk to your Grandpa?" Michelle whispered thirty minutes later as they sat in the very back seat so her mom couldn't hear them as they drove home. "You're sure he'll do it?"

Gwen nodded and still looked dazed as she brushed her fingers over the dress bag that was hanging from the hook over the door and draped over her lap and the other two at her feet. Dazed, but it didn't stop her from sounding fierce as she said, "As soon as we get to your house and he owes us." A fierce that faded just a hair as she swallowed hard. "Do you really think…?"

There was so much worry in those four words, and more in the ones she didn't say. Those were the ones that made her reach out and take her friend's hand again because it seemed so wrong that she was afraid of anything. "Like I said. He made his play, Crazy Girl. He showed you how he felt months ago and he isn't going to wait forever. It's up to you now."

She wished she could have said something else. She wished she could make it easy, but it wasn't, and silly hadn't worked. But silly never did with her best friend. She watched Gwen's eyes go wide again as they caught the headlights, and then they narrowed as she nodded and smiled as determined as she ever was before a test or Marci. Determined and happy.

Her Crazy Girl, back at last.

So Michelle didn't feel bad at all when she elbowed her - an elbow and not the swat that her bestie deserved after all of this - and hissed the words she'd been holding in all night. "I can't believe that you've been holding that in all year! And your first kiss! Some best friend you are! What else are you hiding?"

The words were mostly just a tease and she waited for the blush and the stammering that should have come, or the shove back. Instead, Gwen just froze. Not for long, but for a few seconds she didn't even breathe. Then she slumped like the weight of the world was on her shoulders and sounded miserable as she said, "I'm sorry." It was too much, enough that Michelle squeezed her hand and would have said so if more words didn't spill out. Miserable words. "I'm sorry. Tonight was supposed to be fun."

Somehow Michelle didn't roll her eyes at that or sigh even though she really wanted to. "I was just teasing you, Crazy. You don't have to apologize for that, and as for the rest..." She shrugged. "We got some shopping done, I got to play cupid, and I've got a story that'll drive those bitches at school even crazier than you! I couldn't ask for a better one."

That got a laugh that made her jump as Gwen pulled her hand free and reached for her pants again. Then she had her phone and flipped it open with a twist of her wrist and the screen burst to life. A screen that was so small but as clear as any picture she'd ever seen as a rainbow threw up on it and cast out enough light that she could Crazy Girl's evil little smirk over it. "Even after you wore this?"

"You stinker!" Michelle tried for a howl that was just a giggle as she pounced and remembered why she loved the girl. She knew she heard a click as her mom ushered them both into their dressing rooms. Gwen's so she could try the dress in the bag on, and Michelle so she could go back to normal and she never thought a thing about it. She fought as hard as she could for the phone, but it was always just out of reach and then her mama was shouting and the game was over.

Mostly. "Just how long are you going to be holding that over my head?!" She harrumphed as she crossed her arms and tried her best to sound mad when she just wanted to keep laughing.

"I don't know," Gwen said as she gave the picture one last look before she closed the phone and did the one thing she never did before. She hugged Michelle tight even as she sniffled. "For the whole summer, probably, so you're here when I get back. And for forever after that."

Michelle snuggled back and tried as hard she could to put the next three months out of her head before she cried. It didn't help. Her tears were hot when they finally slipped free and she didn't even try to wipe them away when they stopped. She just let her head lean against her best friend's as they held each other's hands. "Forever works."

- o - o - o - o - o -

Author's Note

Erico wrote the first half of this chapter as the first of a series about the rumors that circled Ben and Gwen for their whole lives, but he did it so well that it seemed wrong not to have it as a part of the main story. Especially since it fit in so well with what we had in 30 already. The series might still happen though. There will certainly be enough gossip about them.

And finally, this story has hit 600 reviews! That's amazing and I want to thank everyone for all your support!