breaking point

by max333

What if Usagi had finally decided enough was enough? Between the jabs and the lame excuses on problems going on involving not only Mamoru but Chibi Usa as well, Usagi has had enough and hits her breaking point. Now the girls must realize their own individual faults in the conflict and rise together to show Usagi that she is the glue that holds them together.

26. first date conversations

Princesakarlita411: yeah she needed to talk to her friends, and yeah its good for him to know that not everything is easily solvable.

LoveInTheBattleField: thanks.

SerenityxEndymion: on Naru, definitely. She will always care she just sometimes gets ahead of herself is all. That reaction is a slow burn of one that will be coming up soon. I have to make this work just right and do it just right. As for Minako's threat, yeah it needed a little light humor and she managed to avoid Mamoru's question so point for her I guess. Lol thanks.

Jovemako: glad that was noticed. Lol I didn't want to have Mamoru figure that out, but the audience yes. I wondered that myself, and hopefully yes. In a story out there or in the series…someday. And it'll be a series of dates. And sorry about the typos, I use spell checker but maybe it messed up like autocorrect likes to do with replacing it with works that are out of order or context. I went to text 'autopay' to my former boss once, 'it autocorrected it to 'autopsy'. That was an interesting text to explain.

Joanne Frances Tiano Cajilig: of course, and yeah I do believe that will be a discussion to be had.

kera69love: lol I'll take that as a good thing. Lol if your referring to the anime where he was a jerk I think it was because he liked her but didn't know how to act around her cause he didn't want to like her. she was unlike any girl he'd ever met before and threw him for a loop. Even Motoki once asked him why he was so hard on her when he said he didn't understand it himself it just overcame him in her presence. She didn't know why she felt an attraction towards him and called him everything from 'jerk' to ' ' for his personality, when in reality she had a crush on him. neither knew the other liked each other till later on…that's my theory anyways. and no problem, on the reviews, I enjoy doing it as it makes me feel more connected with you all.

karseneau1: thanks. 😊

slvrphoenx: oh yeah and yes, they had to come to terms with that in themselves then in each other cause let's face it, its Usagi and Mamoru, their hot for each other. Its undeniable, however in certain situations its more tamed down by the subject matter. I actually found a good way for Usagi to find out about Chibi Usa, but yes he did want to tell her and yeah Minako is still going by her gut but that will heed to. as for Naru, its implied in the anime and otherwise so yes I do think she figured it out herself but kept it to herself as that was Usagi secret to bear and not meant for others. And I'll update every Sunday, as long as I can get the time in during the week to keep writing.

Aiyoku: thanks and wait till you see what happens next.

claymore78: wow you went through that all in a DAY. Props! I know writing all of that out for those chapters was tough even though it felt good to get it out so props again in such a short time frame. Thank you. And yes what Jeremy says is true and yes I do prefer sweet endings but for this fic its about change, and changing for the better. To evolve I guess would be the right word. Everyone. and you never know on Chibi Usa…😉 I get the fan of action cause I enjoy writing that out but sometimes a fic like this is needed. and my top fics oh is tough but I do have a few 'cursed hearts' was great, the 'spinning threads sage' was interesting, and 'mafia legacy' was great to. all by the same author 'serenity angel 14', she does really great work. Oh and 'a basketball affair' by 'veggieburger' was great to. oh and a lot of things from 'princess destiny' are really good to. I have a lot more but if you'd like go visit my favorites page in my profile. And thanks, really, and yeah Rei had that coming. I describe things as if I could see them happening.

Guest (1): actually guilt tripping is what their trying to avoid…trying. Also I like to follow it a tiny bit but not full on, cause there were never any mention of twins in the anime or manga. That's all me.

Rjzero00: I'm assuming your talking about dragon ball Z. never watched it but I know of it. it is an interesting theory and does have validity to it that I don't think has been noticed a lot before. in fact some of my info comes from a youtube vid that someone did online for the 'sailor moon timeline', to which they spent 30 something minutes doing. It was very explanatory and reminded me of things I had forgotten about in the SM realm. And lol on Mamoru being boring, he really is isn't he cause even Usagi tells him that from time to time in the beginning. He's so annoyed by it because its so true. Lol and yes mamoru isn't dorky but he's still considered a bit of a geek, a hot, buff geek but a loner geek nonetheless. And yeah I've heard that without the glasses Umino is an attractive gut, to bad we could never see that though, it would have been interesting to see the girls reaction to that. lol Mamoru surely wouldn't be so self assured if he knew or saw that. thanks. 😊

12 reviews, that's good, glad you all are enjoying this, things are about to get even more interesting in here, oh and almost forgot for the next story did you all want it to be the final 'forbidden love' vampire installment OR a new idea that's popped into my head perhaps a story series on usagi saving evil tuxedo mask via the language of love with chaos thrown in for good measure, first season based and possibly if I can tied as a prequel to this story. Let me know your thoughts. So please read and review!

Breaking point ch.26

Usagi POV

I wasn't sure what to expect from our first date in…let's calculate this now. It's been just over three months since I put us on a break and over six months since we've had a proper date that was just the two of us…possibly longer than that, hard to remember exactly when we had an actual date. Last one I remember us having got cut short and to this day it still bothered me cause despite my hints he didn't protest the action, instead he let the disruption happen and our date turned once more into another group outing.

This was supposed to be different and I held high actual hopes that it would be different than before, that while I had changed so had he and it would be proven this evening with this date. I refused however to not let myself think further on the last few bad dates or date attempts that we'd had. Instead I was going to enjoy this one and not let the past completely influence me or what happened going forward on the dates.

If he was willing to put his all into this, then so would I by giving him the benefit of not doubting his every move or questioning it. I would just enjoy it as he would. I would listen to him as he does to me and give it my all as long as he did the same. So when I left out of my parent's house that evening, making sure to let mother know where I would be at so she didn't have to call up several friends to try and find me, didn't need that.

I knew I'd have to be back no later than 11pm. Dad was insistent on 10 since it was a school night but mother convinced him that 11 would be better so Mamoru and I could talk some more, telling him that it was something we had to go through as a couple. He seemed to fret over it but eventually accepted it as long as I agreed that if I were to be a minute late I'd be grounded for a week and couldn't see him again for that whole week.

I agreed though not too willingly as I left out and locked up. I wore a past my knee length black leather skirt that had a short slit up one side but wasn't too high up. That paired with my knee high boots on they complimented my look along with the nice button up blouse I wore that wasn't to tight and wasn't to revealing yet still had some sex appeal to it with the first few buttons undone.

It was a sophisticated look for me that still spoke of my being a young woman. Plus, as much as I wanted to wear a tightly fitting dress I didn't trust myself. So, I walked out and saw Mamoru ready for me at the front door. Clearly not ready for me to walk out he had a single rose in his hands, "Not a giant bouquet." He responded as he handed it to me. I smiled at the sweet simple gesture as I hold onto it and smell its scent.

It was different than his. I noticed that right off the bat. The ones that he made had a scent that was tied to him from his magic. This didn't have that particular scent. It was pure rose. I looked up at him as he said, "I didn't make it this time." he assured me, "I know." So he either plucked it along the way or actually paid for it. Either way it was a nice gesture that made me smile as I he escorted me like a gentleman to his sports car. I could tell he was interested in more but respected my wanting to do this slowly and right.

We drove through the evening air, talking about little things about our school week. Each of us having had things that happened either during an exam or with school friends. We actually had a conversation and while it wasn't on the things we needed to talk about, not yet anyways, it was on tid bits that we liked to talk about. Plus, I didn't feel it was great to talk about issues while he was driving.

Once we reached the posh restaurant in style, we stepped out and thanks to the hot looking sports car he had and the fact that he was doing valet parking made it feel all the more special especially as people were noticing us. I couldn't help but blush as he gently guided me into the establishment. It shouldn't but it did. I was even more amazed when we were seated right away instead of waiting in the long line.

"How did you score this?" I asked in a hushed voice. He smiled, "Helps to have worked here as a waiter before. And as a valet. And as a host." He relayed as the staff did seem to recognize him well enough. It did make sense though. He didn't have full access to his inheritance yet and till he did he did side jobs like this to earn extra cash. "How did you have so many jobs here though?" I was legitimately curious.

"It's kind of a funny story." As he relayed the story of how he always got pulled into doing someone else's job when someone was outback either sneaking in a smoke break, a shocking one time sex break, and on one occasion someone having issues with the scheduling, he got pulled in to handle a lot there. During this I got to feel what I knew what it was supposed to feel like to be a normal girlfriend or someone who was just dating it did feel nice to be treated once in a while to something fancy.

It felt nice to be splurged upon once in a blue moon so yeah, I was definitely allowing myself to feel happy about this date so far. I even smiled as he finished off the story with a cutie anecdote about the quality being great considering the many service blunders that happened behind the scenes that no one but the staff knew about. It really made me wish we could talk more often like this to. We could even compare notes at some point when I got a job.

Once we were seated Mamoru even insisted, I order whatever I wanted to get. I was feeling famished since I skipped mom's dinner for this one. So really, I hadn't eaten in like six to seven hours since lunch as school. It was just now hitting 7pm when we got there. I ordered some chicken dish that had a few sides to it and after we ordered that's when I knew we'd have some time to kill. The posh restaurant wasn't exactly known for fast service but for the delicious foods it had which was why the waiting list was so long.

How HE got us here on such short notice was a mystery to me, but I had a small feeling it had something to do with his previous work experience here. "This place is amazing." I took a moment to admire the artwork that was hung all around. "Yeah when your first here its like looking a bit at a museum. Very grand." He expresses as he seems to enjoy looking fondly at some of it.

I do enjoy seeing him become more animated in fascination by what he was seeing. By something we were BOTH experiencing together and seen as two regular people out on a date that could share a conversation about it later on. It made me smile in thought as he even started to talk to me about some of the artwork and structures pieces that he had gotten to know well when he worked here.

Some of it was very interesting and some of it not so much but to hear him talk to passionately about some of the history made me wonder what else we didn't know about each other that we could get to know and learn from these dates. So, once we talked the hell out of some of the décor I broached the subject that I didn't want to in the car for obvious reasons. "Mamoru…there's something I think we do need to discuss." I begin.

He looks to me as he listens intently. "While we've already discussed some stuff there's a few more things I wanted to get into as we progress along with dating." He reaches out and touches my hands on the table, "Whatever it is its okay I'm here." I sigh and hope that despite what I'm about to say that he can understand as I'll be understanding of his side of things to, we both have sides here.

"When I saw that kiss between you and Saori…" I began, "Even though I know it wasn't initiated by you it still hurt to see it happen." He sighed. It did feel a bit rehashed, but I had a reason for this and he was showing me that he was willing to listen to me. Plus, I knew that he had his own feelings on the matter. Feelings that we really didn't go into detail about as I knew we needed a breather from everything else.

"It hurt to see the man I love beyond a shadow of a doubt, being kissed by someone else." I felt his hands tighten up around mine just a bit, as if to give me a shred more of support but unsure of how he could show it any other way other than through holding my hands. I accepted it and took strength in it, "I remembered thinking, 'I'd rather have been hit by a thousand youma' than to see what I saw."

I felt a tear well up in my eye as I could see the pain in his own. As if he could feel what I was feeling and not through just the link but see it in me. "Then to have you deny it afterwards hurt almost worse than the act itself. It was like you were denying me not just my feelings on the matter but also telling me that even though it didn't mean anything to you which I understand that and accept that the kiss meant nothing to you it meant something to both of us." By meaning both myself and Saori.

He seemed to get that part as I continued, "To me it meant that the man that I love, didn't care or respect me enough to own up to the mistake that was made and accept his part of the blame in it, as you weren't blameless." he nodded his acceptance of it as I gripped his hands harder, "I can only imagine what it meant to Saori." This was one of the parts I dreaded. To think that she had a thing for him all this time was understandable I did get that, but still hurt that she acted on it and kissed him.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and forced myself to continue forward, "She must have really liked you a lot to make a move on you. I mean she got blasted with alcohol just to get the nerve to do it." I explained. Honestly it sounded like a potential 'me thing to do' whenever I was nervous about making an impression. The alcohol had a way of giving me liquid courage and while I RARELY did it, I knew that's what I would have done to get the nerve to do something like that.

It's also why once she did it, she went to go throw up afterwards. She's had way too much and couldn't hold it back any longer. Though thinking on it now had that timing been off she would have puked all over him. Possibly in his mouth. Not sure if I would have found that gross, funny, well deserved…a mix or all of the above. Either way though I get her reasoning for it and while I may not like her for it, I understand.

It's one of the few reasons why I didn't knock her out cold on her ass. He nodded again but then said, "I really messed up that night. But it was even before that." I looked into his eyes curious on the meaning, "I messed up by not acknowledging you as my girlfriend. I messed up by nearly ignoring you most of the evening even though I was there watching you talk and get to know those I cared for and that were friends to me I still didn't do or say much to you. That was unfair to you and for that part I'm sorry." I nodded now.

"As for Saori, there's no words that could express how much I regret that. No words to express how I regret NOT doing something not just sooner but saying the truth. Which was how sorry I was. I should have kicked everyone out after that. not wait till things were getting worse. I should have told Chibi Usa to go home so we could talk about things. So, the last three months didn't have to happen." I could tell he was upset with himself over the events that happened. The level of anger that he had directed at himself for his actions was clear as day.

"I wish I could change so much but I can't. I can't go back and be a better boyfriend then, but I can make up for it and be a better boyfriend now and continue to do so until we advance to a stronger form of our relationship." I smiled at the little marital vow in what he said. "I know you want to so that's why we're dating now. So, we can do better for each other but also for ourselves." I tell him, "To grow and learn from the mistakes of our past, here in the present." I watch him accept this.

"The other reason why I brought that up was because I wanted to apologize for that kiss with Tyler." I felt him tense up just the slightest. I see his face try to remain neutral as he avoids making a scene as I bring it up. This was why I didn't say anything in the car. I knew it would require his full focus and didn't want to cause a distraction that would take away from driving so in here where we could be fully focused on each other was better.

"I didn't do it to get even, or to be vindictive." I let him know as he seems to de-tense just a fraction, I knew it wasn't a preferred conversation, but this was needed to get everything about this out and in the open. "I did it because to be completely honest I had gone through several months at that point of being on a break with you not to mention the time before that had happened between us, long before the party." His lips pursed but he didn't speak a word wanting to let me finish.

Wanting me to finish first, "We had barely had a chance to have a date in the several months prior to that and even then, we never went out. It was always cancelled. Or something came up." I watched his face at my words. Saw his reaction as he kept his mouth closed. It was as if he was trying to have a comeback but knew there was none to be had, "I hadn't realized how lonely I had gotten like that till he came along. I knew I was lonely but not to that degree and to have him be so kind…so…" I saw Mamoru look at me pained.

I almost didn't finish because of the level of emotional torment I felt like I was putting him through but then he said, "Keep going." With a tight 'its fine' appearance on his face that told me that while it wasn't completely fine he still wanted to know exactly what I was going to tell him, "He was so kind, thoughtful, sweet it just felt like I could be me without caring who saw us together. He didn't care about how I acted or thought of me as childish despite the few times that we did act like silly teens when in different stores earlier."

I could see Mamoru sigh as he knew he had done that, acted as if I embarrassed him by acting 'energetic' in a store when really I was just happy to be out with him and experiencing life with him. I felt bad afterwards for it but knew I was just being myself, an energetic version. Besides it's not like I was becoming a disturbance. "He was almost proud to have me on his arm, and it felt nice to have that." Mamoru nodded, didn't say a word but nodded.

"Then the kiss came honestly out of the blue." I admit. "We had just been talking and laughing. I admit I kissed him on the cheek prior to that as a friendly way of saying 'thank you for the night out' as his being a part of it hadn't been in the plans." I further explained. "It was originally Just Naru, Umino and myself going out. They had invited me out with them to get out and have some fun." I watch his face as I tell him how that evening went.

I felt the need to explain myself as he had and to tell him the full truth of the matter. "As I was getting ready to leave out his brother came over to see if I was busy and since I had sort of already agreed to be there to tour his little brother around previously. Things went from there and we went out. we joined Naru and Umino within a short time frame and we all hung out." I continued on.

"Funny thing is, even though I was taking him out for a night on the town since he's new to Japan and all he was the one who managed to show me fun things to do while here and I'm the native." I hoped he understood this all. I truly hope he was because I couldn't find a better way of saying this without hurting him further and I didn't want to do that. I wanted him to know that I didn't set out for any of that to happen.

Much like he didn't purposely do what he did to get Saori to kiss him. He didn't seduce her to him like I didn't work to get Tyler to me. "After I gave him the peck on the cheek that's when he turned and kissed me." now it probably sounds like I encouraged Tyler to kiss me even though I hadn't intended on doing that. Perhaps I'm more at fault that I originally thought I was. I felt guilt of course but perhaps my nativity for the case made things worse.

"It lasted for a few seconds, at best but that's all it took. You came in after that." I told him as his gripped loosened for a moment making me wonder if he was going to drop the hold altogether. I thought perhaps my suspicions were right. Maybe this was his letting go of us since I was telling him this. Perhaps we wouldn't be bonding this whatever you want to call it now back together. I briefly wondered if this was our breaking point.

That maybe my having let things get to far that evening and by being honest with Mamoru now meant I was throwing away or sabotaging us in some form. The possibilities raced through my mind in seconds. I felt a momentary surge of panic, pain and over all acceptance at the possibility that maybe there were just certain things a couple couldn't come back from no matter how much work they put in it.

That's when he tightened up his hold again. it was strange but it almost felt like I could breathe again. Like his hold gave me oxygen and I let myself breath it in. As if realizing I still had more to say my voice chocked out the rest of the words, "My point Mamoru, is that while I don't regret it, I still and will always feel guilty over it. I think in a sense it showed me that your all I could ever want." I dared to tell him.

I didn't want to encourage him to much or to think that we were good by me admitting to how I felt, or that we still didn't have work to do but I did want to be honest with him and felt that he deserved to have that. Relationships were built on honesty. That and good sex, openness, communication, and friendship among other things. So yes, I was being truthful with him. I saw his face shift and change.

Going from nearly one extreme to another as I waited with bated breath. Anger was there along with compassion and possible acceptance. "No regrets?" he asked as I shook my head, "No I'm sorry but no. Those few brief moments told me so much about myself and about us that it gave me a lot to think about for a while to come. I think it was necessary that it happened." I could tell it was a hard pill to swallow.

I understood that all too well as his kiss, pressed upon him or not, with Saori had been a hard pill for me to swallow to. He took a deep breath, as if debating on what to think let alone say after my confession of sorts. Admitting something like that on a rekindled date probably isn't the most romantic thing out there to say but I wanted to be honest with him. To show him that while he apologized for his errors I am to.

Whether others may think so or not I feel at fault and wanted to apologize for hurting him as I did. I didn't breathe a word in as I held my tongue for a little bit. Letting the air become silent with his thoughts. I didn't want my trying to talk and pulling it out of him to pressure him when I just gave him so much details about one event in particular. I watched his chest rise and fall as he looked to me.

I felt my own heart rate rise up at his appearance. He was clearly not to thrilled but didn't seem to hate me as I was hating on myself. I tried to avoid causing people pain. Especially when you're not trying to hurt them, and I hurt him unintentionally. Even if some part of me felt it was deserved considering it didn't make it full on right. What's that saying two wrongs don't make a right…I swallowed thickly in my throat.

"I'll admit I'm not happy to hear that part…" he starts as I wanted to take a sip of water for my now parched throat but I also didn't want to break this hold or connection we were having. This felt right in the moment to hold onto one another. At least in this simple form. "But I guess it does make sense." He said after a beat. "You've never been kissed by anyone other than myself." I could see the expression in his face though.

I knew deep down he probably WISHED he was the ONLY one to ever kiss me since the day we met. So, for this to happen dashed that away from him. "You've never experienced that in your life, and I have." I looked at him as he looked down at the table…at our hands still together. "A few times over. You're not my first while I'm yours." I wasn't entirely sure what he meant by that, but I had a feeling I knew what and while I wasn't thrilled with it, I understood the hidden meaning in it.

"By that point Mamoru, we hadn't been dating for what four-five months?" I kept going, wanting him to just try to understand where my head was at during that whole thing. So that he could see that there was reason behind it. I wasn't just some girl who went around kissing other guys when things got a little tough. It took serious issues and not dealing with them for extended periods of time for something to slip past the radar.

The guilt ate away at me still to confess. "It's not like you were away at sea, or that we were having a long distance relationship that we both made plans and rules to go by that we mutually agreed to, you were within range to see me all the time and you made the decision not to. Course I did too, but that was after the fact and I kept trying beforehand to make things work. I wanted to see you so much, too just go out on a simple date." I amended as he accepted his fault in this as I was accepting mine.

I brushed away the lone tear so I wouldn't cry and ruin the light make up I had on. Telling him this may lose him to me, but he deserved to know the truth. "My point in this is that even though I was hurting still from events that happened, it doesn't mean that my actions, intentional or not didn't hurt you. I'm s - " he holds his other hand up as if knowing what I'm about to say so I take a breath before letting the rest out.

"I guess in the end I never meant to hurt you with my actions. I was just out that night and felt what it was like to be out and not think about senshi business or have to refrain from being nice to Chibi Usa if she was acting out after sneaking out and disrupting the date or gathering we were at, or dress a certain way or even act a certain way cause you'd be embarrassed by me." I could tell he understood what I meant by that as he looked around briefly.

"I know I'm not the most graceful person at times…" I admit, feeling a tad self-conscious in saying this but knowing the truth of it. there had been far more less graceful acts that I had had that not had before and after I became a senshi. I was a well-known klutz for a reason. Though sometimes I wondered if that had more to do with a gut instinct to protect myself from being recognized as the princess early on by developing this klutz crap as a way of an early for of protection. Had Luna fooled for the longest time.

So, I knew for a fact that yes, my clumsiness could be embarrassing often enough, I wasn't immune to this as a fact. However, I had grown out of this since becoming a senshi and while I still had a moment here or there it was much better than before. still though there were times I felt that Mamoru still got embarrassed that I had my moments. It wouldn't be so bad if he had been embarrassed for me but really, I knew he was rolling his eyes at how I made himself look and I couldn't help but feel self-conscious of that.

I always tried to think of it early on as a kind of charm of mine. it could be seen as an ice breaker and not as a moment of utter humiliation. However, I digress. "Not by a long shot." I add on, as he didn't refute it but also didn't add to it. "But I always loved you. I always wanted you there I just wanted to know you were there with me and that regardless if I had a klutz attack or not." He nodded hopefully knowing what I meant by that. "I always will love you." I tell him as he purse's his lips a bit as I wait for his response.

"I know that couldn't have been easy." He starts after a moment. I had decided to take a sip of water as that had been a lot to say on my part. I nod my 'yes' to him as he looks into my eyes, "While it's hurtful that you don't regret it…" I could tell that it truly did hurt him. I sighed feeling guilty once more, "I'm glad you were honest with me about all of that. I didn't know all the details and while I wished I'd heard it sooner, like that evening I know you had your reasons." I avoid sniffling in the moment.

"I did and they weren't excuses, Mamoru I had to stay so that I could explain things to him better. I should have from the start and that's my fault. Again." I admit, "When we started to talk I should have said something about us but I didn't want to ruin the evening by thinking of us when I wanted to enjoy hanging out with my friends." I guess that was one way of putting it and it seemed bad, but it was out there now.

"Things that happened that night, were a mix of things that could have been handled better." I tell him, for both of our parts. I wasn't sure if he got the meaning of that though. "I sometimes think about how it could have been different, that maybe had things gone down differently that I could have gone back with you." I see the way he looks to me, "But…?" he asks. I sigh, "But when you hit him that decision felt made for me." I tell him.

He I can tell grits his teeth a bit before forcing himself to relax, "Am I supposed to apologize for that?" I could tell he clearly wasn't going to nor felt that he should, so I tabled that for now and refocused, "Aside from that…" I amended as I know he felt his reasons were valid and wasn't going to rethink them anytime soon. "He really is just a friend to me. We talk yes but I've made myself clear on what we are, and he's been respectful of it since then." I try as he sighs, "I don't know if you'll believe me on this but…" he starts up.

"When we last saw each other, the three of us, that baby you two were pushing around, presumably babysitting." I nod as he pauses as if in question, "He made it fairly obvious that if I were to ever slip up that he would be right there." for some reason it did and didn't shock me. I knew Tyler wanted to be with me, but I had thought he'd be respectful, as he had been proving himself thus far.

Would that still be considered respectful? Or was it in some ways sneaky? It could be a fine line that he was traveling on. I wasn't sure. I'd have to ask the girls. They could tell me their thoughts or opinions. "I vowed then and there that I would get you back, now I'm vowing now that I won't ever slip up like this again. You have my absolute promise of dedication on that." I felt hope rising within me at his words.

"I won't let anything tear us apart again. Not my insecurities not my issues and certainly not some guy who thinks that I'm going to slip up." I could tell that Tyler really did ruffle his feathers and get him on edge. People were rarely able to do that to Mamoru. He was usually so tightly wound and in control, yet it seemed Tyler somehow figured out a way to do that and it connected with me.

I know Mamoru's not one to make up stuff or lie…unless it's to 'protect me'. But there's no reason to protect me from Tyler. Maybe not to protect you from Tyler like that but to protect what he loves from someone he thinks could take you from him by stealing your heart…I heard my inner princess suggest. It was possible. It could really be based on Mamoru's jealous on this one and IF that were the case its both sweet and unnecessary.

Tyler was just a friend and YES, he liked me BUT he knew how I felt and wasn't moving forward on trying anything. So, was this something to strongly heed or something to take in and see what happens? Go with the latter then once we have more information go with the former, just to be sure…I heard my inner princess suggest again. noting it for later on I kept listening to his words.

"I'll work on us till it's the end of days and keep on working. No matter what, I don't care how long it takes. I love you too much not to." I hear him say as our food arrives. It smells delicious and since I'm so hungry by now it temporarily takes away my attention, but the emotional mood is too thick for even food to keep it away for long. Despite my stomach's hungry small growl to feed it before anything else is said.

"As long as you're going to work for this so will I. Together." I assure him, letting him know that while he was still winning me back that I would accept it if he proved to have changed as I have, "Now let's dig in." he smiles as we begin to dig in on the food in front of us. I felt a wave of weight pass over me as if being pushed off. It seems the issue with Tyler was really weighing me down more than I thought it had.

He had listened to all of it and accepted it as I had accepted his words. This was actually shaping up to be a good second conversation while out on this nice date. So, when the text from Tyler came in, I hit silent on my phone and got back to dinner. So, when Mamoru heard it buzz again, he asked, "Is everything okay?" I admitted, "Yes, things are fine. It's just a friend." I watch his face as he shifts it downward.

"Tyler?" he asks, putting more food in his mouth. Out of hunger at this point or to keep his mouth from saying something stupid, or both I wasn't sure. "Yeah, I didn't answer it or anything I'm out here with you." I got back to eating, hoping it would dissuade him from asking anything further. He seemed to accept that response, but I knew that regardless if Tyler was being respectful now, knowing he wanted me, Mamoru I don't think would ever accept him as my friend…ever.

We seemed to come to a mutual acceptance of things for the time being, so we parted our hands and allowed the aroma of the food to lure us in. I got a few bites in, enjoying the food in its rich flavor as Mamoru spoke up, "Since we're already knee deep in painful subjects and I do realize this could be seen as rehashing here but I just want to make sure this is well known. I spoke to Saori after what happened."

I couldn't help it. I looked up at him after I took a greedy bite of my food. My mouth stuffed with the side of potatoes that had both a dash of butter and a nice amount of pepper. "You did?" I asked, trying to NOT talk with my mouth open. This was an upscale restaurant and even if it wasn't it was still polite NOT do it. "Yeah…" he took a bite of his meal to then spoke, "Right before I talked with Motoki on things." I rose a brow shocked that he talked with Motoki to but glad he had someone to not only to talk to but someone to get through to him.

There were very few people that I knew he would take in the enforced words on. One thing that was difficult with Mamoru was that since he had high trust issues, he trusted the opinion of very few when it came to matters of the heart. I got it I did, being left the way he was in the orphanage gave him a decent amount of leeway and understanding to the progress and level of trust necessary to be built up for him over the years. So, Motoki I could see being very high up the food chain for him.

However, I did expect myself to be up there but perhaps that wasn't as high as I originally thought so. After all I didn't meet him till years after Motoki did in our life now and while I knew him as Endymion in our past life that was then, and this was now. I wasn't sure that could be used as a reason to be above Motoki. Plus, we had a different history than he and Motoki did. I was his love and Motoki is his best friend and brother.

They had a good 'bromance' once would call it going on. So yes, I was glad that he spoke to him, perhaps Motoki was the reason why, besides Ami that he got his act together. Yet the knowledge that Saori spoke to him stunned me and made me curious, "What did you two discuss?" I asked, trying NOT to feel jealous that he had spoken to the girl that kissed him AFTER what happened at the party.

"She came to talk to me about what happened. Apologized for it." he began taking another bite as I did. "I took in the apology, but I couldn't accept the one for your behalf, so she still wants to apologize to you for what happened." he tells me. I acknowledge the words and understand she was probably feeling bad an embarrassed for what happened. between kissing someone else's boyfriend to puking right afterwards couldn't be an easy pill to swallow. Especially for someone who wanted to be a police officer as her career path.

Or was it chief of police? I remembered so many conversations from that night it was hard to keep track of who said what after a while. It also made sense though that he couldn't accept it for me as we were on a break at that point, plus part of me actually did want to talk with her about it, not to bitch slap her, even if I had been tempted to do that at one point, but to talk with her. Get the truth from her.

Did she still hold feelings for him since this whole thing or had she moved on? "Does she still like you?" I wanted to gauge his response to that to. He briefly contemplates it before responding, "I'd like to say no but to be honest, I don't know. Truth is though even if she did it wouldn't matter. The one woman I want is you." He tells me. at least he was honest about it, "I hate to ask cause I'm all about friendship…" I start.

He takes another bite as I prepare to take one, "But is this with her going to remain as it is now with her?" I shove the bite into my mouth as I try to appear accepting and not completely jealous. How can I be when I'm still friends with Tyler? Wouldn't that be hypocritical of me to NOT want him to be friends with her? "I think where she and I are as friends is at where it was BEFORE that party happened." he sighed as he finished chewing.

I swallowed, "Meaning?" I had to ask. "Meaning were back to basics of friendship and the difference is she's retaining a new distance between us. Though for me, herself or both I'm unclear on." he admitted. Sounded like she was backing off of being around him even as a friend cause either she still likes him like that or she's to embarrassed to hang out with him…or both. I was both glad and worried about that.

While I felt bad that someone who made a mistake based on someone else's actions was suffering in that friendship I was also worried as it also meant that she might still harbor feelings for him. While yes so did Tyler I was fully aware of his feelings for me. Mamoru was unsure of Saori's feelings towards him. if I knew for sure I'd feel better about it but for the time being, until I spoke to her about it, I couldn't really feel to upset about this.

While Mamoru made his stance known on it, he knew facts I didn't. I knew suspicions only. It wasn't fair to judge without all the facts. "Are you okay with the friendship where it is?" I asked him as I gauged that reaction. He seemed accepting of it but also still saddened by it, "While I'm not thrilled that I'm not hanging out with my friend as much I understand why and accept it. she and I weren't super close, like best friends but we were still good friends." He explains as the waiter comes back around to refill our drinks.

We stay in silence for a few moments, enjoying the meal as the waiter, a refined looked gentleman, asks us how the meal is, "Amazing." I comment as I prepare another bite. The waiter however comments, "By the way if I may my dear that is a lovely ensemble you have on. So, in style." I smile at the nice compliment, "Why thank you." I respond, "I was just talking with a few of my friends back there about it where did you get this?" he asks. I couldn't help but get pulled in by the charm.

He was clearly a fashion head type as he looked like he was giving me a full view up and down BUT it wasn't out of lust. That much was clear. I knew a lusty look and this guy wasn't giving one, so I was very open to telling him about where I got the outfit from. Yes it was a little bit much since Mamoru and I were out on a date but it's not like I was flirting with the guy nor he to me but the subtle coughing from Mamoru told me perhaps I was being a little rude. "Oh, so sorry for taking up your time." The waiter apologized.

Mamoru smiled tightly, "No problem, and we will be having dessert later on." it was a subtle way of saying 'thanks now please give us some privacy'. The waiter nodded his head as he gave me a subtle 'I think he's jealous' look as he walked away. I couldn't help but smile at that. I knew right then and there that Mamoru took that the wrong way. "I figured they tell the new guys that I was coming here with my…" he looked to me before finishing then said as if amending his words, "Date."

I smiled, "Its fine, besides there's nothing to worry over." He rose a brow at me, "He was hitting on you." I did enjoy the moments where he got jealous, even over the simplest of things. It really showed me in his own little way that he wasn't an emotionless robot that he appeared to be at times. "Actually, he was more interested in my fashion choice than in my body trust me." I gave him a 'read between the lines' look.

He took a moment to let that sink in before it dawned on him what I meant. "Oh." Was his only word before his face grew a little red. "Don't worry, I thought it was cutie how subtle you were." I tell him as I smile and take a bite of the food. He lowers his head a bit and grabs another bite of his food. "Regarding you and Saori, I think how she's feeling about it regarding the distance might be there for a little while till she perhaps fancies someone else." I suggest. I could tell that he was still finding it hard to accept she even liked him like that.

His face was pretty clear on that fact. "I just don't know how to feel about having such a close friend that has never been anything other than a friend to me at one point feel definitely more like a friend towards me, and not know how she feels now towards me." he expressed as he took another bite. I sighed, "I sort of understand that." he looked to me. "Tyler." He answers, "I know how he feels though and just like it is with Saori he's backed off and respecting boundaries per my request." I tell him.

"I'm still accepting his friendship but that's it. We've hung out but that's it." I confirm as I tell him the truth of the matter. "Yeah well she and I haven't hung out…at all." I wasn't sure if he was giving off a little complaint that I was friends with Tyler still in his own way, making another comparison or notating it to me that perhaps since they weren't hanging out neither should Tyler and myself…or a mix of them. "True…" I decide to tread carefully here as this is new ground for us.

"But perhaps to get things between the three of us straightened out its necessary to do so." He looks to me surprised by my suggestion. And a little worried. "Are you sure about that?" I could only imagine the scenarios that were running through his mind right now at the thought of Saori and myself in the same room together with him in the center as a possible mediator if things went sideways. "Actually yes." I tell him confidently.

"I think she and I need to talk and that you two need to talk. All of us together." I watch his face at my words as he counters with, "What about Tyler?" I take bite, "What about him?" I ask as I swallow, "Should we do the same with him?" he asks. I sigh, "You've known Saori for FAR LONGER than I've known Tyler. Your friendship is more deeply rooted than mine with him is." I explain as he acknowledges that.

"If you want to talk with Tyler, as neutrally as possible I'm sure that can be worked out. However, I think the one with Saori is more necessary since you two actually go to college together and have more interactions together. Tyler and I don't see each other than often. Now don't get me wrong I'm not saying no I'm just saying I think one is more necessary than the other cause we don't know how SHE feels. We know how he feels." I explain as he sighs as if in defeat of me.

"I supposed you may have a point." He concedes. "We'll consider these options to have." He looks to me in confirmation. I nod accepting this as we continue to finish our dinner and move onto a chocolate brownie desert with a dollop of ice cream, vanilla on top. It was huge so it took us both to eat the whole dessert. The mood did change to one of light heartedness once we got that out of the way.

Our hands touched a few more times but not for the same reasons as before. Now it was in the smallest physical need for affection from each other. Our bodies were craving for more. I could feel that deep inside and I could sense his own body was feeling it to. That was one thing about us, we always did have this physical demand from our bodies. It was like a calling beacon that had seemed to diminish on his part over the last six months.

Yet here and now it was like it had been active all along. Just in a form of hibernation due to the lack of what had been. I'm sure I could put it into better words later on but that was how it felt right now. We finished the desert and headed out shortly afterwards, deciding to go for a walk afterwards so we could let the dinner and now dessert digest a bit as we were both mutually stuff beyond anything.

I knew he wanted more though. The fact was so did I, but I knew we weren't ready for that. Not on a first date. After a long compatible walk, we realized it was getting really close to my curfew time. Accepting that we had to go back and drop me off we got into the car and drove to my parents. We arrived there five minutes to as he walked me up to the front door. "I really did have a good time this evening." I assure him as he smiles.

"So, did I. I'd really like to take you out again…soon…hopefully." He tries. I smiled, "I would like that as well. That dinner was so filling, and that dessert was so great, I know now why my parents go there when they can." I giggle as he chuckles a little bit. "So, we'll talk later on?" he tries to feel me out on the request, "Yes, now I'd better get in before my father burns a hold through the curtain." That's when we both saw the curtains move just a bit as if he heard us and moved away to not be seen.

"Yeah probably so." He leans in to give me a kiss and while I wonder if I should let him the other part of me says he's not trying to dive full on into a passionate kiss so its fine. Its on the cheek, as his hand touches and holds the side of my face gently. As he pulls back his lip's I was sure, purposely graze side of mine as he says, "Have a good night's rest. I'll text you tomorrow." His voice is low as his eyes tell me so much.

I see the love in there, the want, the need for more but the control he puts in place to respect the boundaries I've put in place as he backs up and walks back towards his car. As I turn around and go back inside, I see my father rolling his eyes as he walks away. I walk up stairs and start to feel that familiar ache in me again. The one I hadn't felt in so long that I had forgotten what it was almost…butterflies.