Chapter XXX: Strength through Passion
Cere - Homebase, Ordel
"Master. Please tell me you are with me now."
Her only answer was silence. Still, Cere knew that somewhere, Master Cordova was watching her.
In the end, she'd be with him. A teacher and his pupil facing oblivion together: as it should be.
And yet, Cere knew that she herself failed in that regard.
Cal died without her. Trilla died without her. She let both of them down - and still, in her darkest moment, Cere wished for nothing more than to be with her own master, to not face death alone as they did.
What did that say about her? Was she a victim? A coward, perhaps? Here she was, scared deep down to her core with no tears left to cry anymore as she could do nothing than wait for assured doom.
There was just one thing that kept her company: doubt. Every choice Cere had ever made crossed her mind. All of them serving as a foundation for her mind to debate itself, asking whether it had made the right decisions or not.
Every child she had found as a Seeker for the Jedi Order - in the end, they died because of her, didn't they? She tore them apart from their families because Cere was in the naive belief that the Jedi truly knew what was best for them. Back then, she thought that they'd give them the best education and future the galaxy had to offer, a chance to control their powers and to save many lives in the process.
What did they get? Children were thrown into an unwanted war where eventually, no side would win. They became part of an order that cast them into this hellish conflict without a second thought before surrounding them with an army of ticking time bombs that mowed them down within seconds.
And she collected those kids like they were trophies.
Worst of all: without hesitation, Cere tried to do the same thing again. Like a fool, she hunted Cordova's secrets for a chance to get a hold on his list of Force-sensitive children, regarding them more as assets to take down the Empire than people only wishing to live free of it. If it wouldn't have been for Cal - the lone scrapper from Bracca that was wiser than she herself would ever be - those children too would have been killed by the Empire, if not even a worse fate would've befallen them.
Has she learned so little after the fall of the Order? This notion that she would bring down an Empire by herself - Cere knew now that it was as dangerous as it was ludicrous. Ordel has proven as much. How many times did they sabotage assembly lines or stole munitions from the Empire, only for them to replace everything with stunning efficiency? Wasn't it the arrival of a single Inquisitor that tore their plans apart in an instant? How in the name of the Force could she liberate an entire galaxy if she couldn't even defend a single planet?
How could she save a galaxy if she couldn't even save herself?
Cere's story was one of constant failure. When the Clones betrayed them, Cere ran like a coward in the false hope that she'd able to protect Trilla and the younglings from the newfound Empire. In the end, Trilla was captured and twisted into an instrument of darkness while the fate of the younglings was probably even darker than anything Cere could imagine.
What about her everlasting dance with the Dark Side? Cere gave in into her most primal feelings when she saw Trilla as an Inquisitor, back when she herself was imprisoned by the Empire. She gave in when she faced off against that harrowing machine of darkness in the underwater halls of the Fortress Inquisitorius too. And as her eyes wandered over to the set of chairs she hauled against the wall, Cere realized that after all that time, she was still a victim of her own anger.
Perhaps it was for the best? The Dark Side was undescribable dangerous. The insidious way it twisted people in an almost subconscious way, its temptations growing ever so slightly bigger until that dastardly tipping point was reached where you'd realize that you just didn't care about anything else except power - what if she would again fall under its lure? How many people would she add to the numbers of those she had already hurt?
Master Cordova said that teaching wasn't about bringing your pupils onto your own level - it was for them to surpass yours.
Was it her own teachings that made Trilla fall to darkness? What if she would've prepared her better? How many people did Trilla kill ever since becoming an Inquisitor? Each and every single one of her victims wasn't Trilla's fault, it was Cere's. She was her pupil and she ...
I failed her.
Cere had to shudder at that thought: What if eventually, Cal too would've been influenced by Cere's ''wisdom''? Cal Kestis was, despite his young age, one of the most courageous and brilliant Jedi she had ever known. He was what the Order should've been. A peacekeeper, a man of knowledge listening to the rhythm of the Force and not to the commands of the Order.
The mere possibility that her presence could ever darken the brightness that was Cal Kestis underlined her beliefs even more. To imagine that maybe, they would've gotten a hold of these children. Perhaps they would've even trained them for some time - but how long until the Empire would show up eventually? What would've happened to Cal if those kids shared Trilla's fate?
Was there anything worth left saving of the Jedi Order if someone like Cal could fall to the Dark Side?
''Oh, Master. You'd be ashamed of me. But I tried, you know? I really tried.''
Cere sighed audibly. She tried, that much was true. As one of the few survivors of the Order, she resisted against the Empire and its advances. Though her actions doomed many, Cere also saved many lives, lives that would've no doubt been ruined by the Empire. She protected those that couldn't protect themselves - and somehow, despite all of her countless mistakes, Cere took in pride in that. Because nobody could deny that she tried. She refused to cower before evil and that in itself made her feel worthy of being a Jedi.
And she'd be damned if she wouldn't die like one either.
She didn't know how long it took. Her plan was simple: she'd open her mind to the Force for one last time, letting her own spirit act as a beacon of sorts, a light in the darkness that should attract the dark sider Inquisitor like an insect would be to a lamp.
And then Cere would fight. She knew that she wouldn't win, of course, but she'd still fight. During her last moments, she wouldn't cower before the Empire. All the Empire would gain from her last moments was nothing but defiance.
Trilla - Ordel, on the way to Homebase
Getting past the Empire was more difficult than she had anticipated.
As they came closer to Stone Town, more and more patrols guarded the surrounding area of the city, armed to the teeth as they made their way through the forest. And given what sort of horrors made their nest in Ordel's forest, Trilla couldn't blame them.
''So ... how are we doing?''
''Peachy.'' Trilla snarked in a frosty way as she signaled Masana towards her.
She followed Trilla quickly as she kept her head low as much as she could, a task made considerably more difficult thanks to her massive body.
''Obviously. You're ready to face the boss-man himself?''
Of course she wasn't.
Ignoring the fact that her body craved nothing more than a good night's rest and a calorie-rich meal right now, her connection to the Force still hasn't improved one bit. And something told her that she wouldn't be able to ward off the Grand Inquisitor with slight Force pushes and a spinning lightsaber.
''I'll live.''
''Yeah, you sound like a revitalizing ray of sunshine.''
If looks could kill, Trilla certainly hoped that her glare would get her point across. She didn't like having the former Inquisitor with her one bit. But without Cal, it wasn't like she had much choice in that regard.
Do I ever?
''Thanks for saving me, Masana. You were always the best of us, did you know that?'' Masana stated mockingly as she jumped onto a dirt cliff, putting her hand down in order to lift Trilla up.
''The best at what. Complaining?''
She had to admit: Masana did save her. A kindness she herself wouldn't have shown her back during their days in the Empire. Yet one act of kindness wasn't about to banish years of betrayal and cruelty. Sure, Cal might see the Dowutin and spot some woman that once tried to kill him - Force, who didn't try to kill Cal at this point? But Trilla saw more, something perhaps even the Grand Inquisitor or Vader didn't see.
Trilla saw a powerful empath that was leagues smarter than anyone, perhaps even she herself, believed. Through the Force, Masana could glimpse into one's deepest most hidden emotions and thoughts, a fact that put anyone back in the Inquisitorius on edge, including Trilla.
The plots. The schemes and even the brutality between them: Inquisitors weren't shy of betraying each other if it meant growing closer to the Emperor's favor. Hell, Trilla herself would've ignored the Grand Inquisitor completely as she'd have given the Holocron directly to Vader and thus by extension, the Emperor. And if he or Ninth Sister would've stood in her way? Of course she would've killed them. They would've done the same in her place.
''You still don't trust me.''
''You didn't need to pick my mind for that.''
''I didn't.''
How could she trust her? Hell, Masana herself fell victim to betrayal how many times?
Trilla could still remember reading the dossier of Vader's operation on Mon Cala. And although she was impressed by the way the Jedi used the Force to convince the Purge Troopers - back then mostly Clones - that Order 66 was called upon anew, it not only revealed a fatal flaw within the Clones's design, it also showed how easy it was for one Inquisitor to betray another. Sixth Brother cut off Masana's leg as they tried to ward off the charmed Purge Troopers like it was nothing, a fact that didn't go unnoticed by the rest of the Inquisitorius.
Officially, of course the Grand Inquisitor warned them that such actions will have severe consequences. Privately, neither of them believed him, nor did he himself believe it. For the Emperor, the Inquisitors killing themselves kept their number relatively low, should anyone ever be foolish enough to rebel. And for the Inquisitors, killing their rivals enabled them to climb higher through the ranks of the Empire. It was a wicked game with no victors except Palpatine. But still, they all played it. And Trilla played it well.
''He wanted you dead, you know?'' Masana asked as it was her time to take the lead, her eyes scanning the horizon for any apparent threats.
''A lot of people want me dead. Try to be more precise.''
''The Grand Inquisitor. You became dangerously good at your job, back then.''
She might not have had any proof, but deep down Trilla knew that eventually, the Grand Inquisitor would try to stop her. After she would've brought the Holocron to Vader, it would've been nothing but a matter of time. Still, it was good to hear some sort of ''official'' conformation. At least her paranoia wasn't wrong in that regard.
''How do you know that? The Force?''
''Oh yes. Boy, he absolutely hated you. You couldn't even mention your name without his mind going haywire.''
''As he should. If we would've been able to stop Cal and Cere, I wouldn't have been surprised if I was anointed Grand Inquisitor.''
''Look how that worked out for the both of us'' Tide chuckled before she continued ''worth it in the end, though. Right?''
''There's nothing more charming than being constantly on the run, yes.''
''We're free, at least. As long as I'm no longer part of some game, I'm happy.''
Now it was Trilla's time to chuckle.
''Are you free, Masana? Or are you not in the service of some Force entity?''
Tide scratched her chest and glared down at the ground. It was obvious that she had asked herself that question many times before. Good to know, Trilla thought. At least that meant that she wasn't as naive as to not see the obvious.
''Funny. Aren't we all in the service of the Force, in some way or another? At least she gave me a choice. And she would've helped me no matter my answer.''
Trilla rolled her eyes at that. The illusion of choice wasn't a choice. If that ruin truly held as much power as Masana believed then the Empire would become even more dangerous. They didn't have any say at all when it came to the Empire. Their fates were bound to it, whether they liked it or not. If the Empire would grow even more powerful, they'd find them eventually. This wasn't about choice, it was about survival. Pure and simple.
''If that is what you believe, so be it. All I care about is getting Cere and to leave this planet behind.''
''We'll get your master out of here, don't worry.''
''She is my master as much as Vader or the Grand Inquisitor.''
''Yeah, you've shown that back with the others.''
Masana said something else and yet, Trilla didn't hear what she had to say. It was as if all sounds around her disappeared as a warm feeling spread through her chest, the source of such feeling no doubt being the Holocron she carried with her.
You will die if you face this Inquisitor in your current state.
Was she becoming even grazier or did they world around her started turn into a? Masana's movements seemed to become more sluggish as she felt her own mind tether away from reality while her thoughts drifted to the Holocron.
What choice do I have? I'm creative, I'll figure something out.
Once more, the words she tried to speak were turned into mere thoughts, all of them directed towards the mysterious woman she carried around with her.
Your alien friend is right, we're all part of the cosmic flow of the Force, whether we approve or not. Again, a leash can be pulled from both ends, however.
And just like that, it seemed as if Masana and the world around her were frozen in place.
What do you want?
To take a part of my power, even if only temporarily. Use it to defeat this Inquisitor and rescue your master. Even now, her doubts bleed through the Force. And if I can feel her raw pain, this adept of the Dark Side can feel it too. You might be running out of time.
If she could, Trilla would've scoffed at that.
Do you truly believe me to be such a fool? Do you want to take my body over too while you're at it?
You're wise to be cautious. But there is no need.
Isn't there? Though I was forbidden to know such knowledge, I did some digging around. I know of the Sith and their ways, the deception that you all so endeared.
We did. And though I believe our philosophy to be the right one, I would be the last person to deny our mistakes. Back during the days of the Sith Empire, our infighting weakened us and it allowed our enemies to destroy us. An irony, certainly. One of our most useful propaganda pieces was that unlike the Republic, we weren't beholden to corruption. Obviously, that didn't work. Make no mistake: I believe that conflict is one of the most important aspects when it comes to self-realization. But conflict? It can be directed, steered - aimed at not ourselves, but our enemies.
I'm sure you've studied that little speech often enough. But it still sounds like rubbish.
Then let me show you.
For the fragment of a second, Trilla was haunted by excruciating pain. And then, the world around her disappeared into darkness.
Getting in was easy. Getting him out would prove to be more problematic, of that she had no doubt.
As she walked the rich and lush streets of Zakuul, she wasn't surprised that the Eternal Empire only needed a year for both the Republic and the Sith Empire to give up.
Architecture that put every artist she knew to shame, sophisticated machines that were as natural to the city as the technology that gave it its power. They could crush both factions within seconds, that much was certain. Why Zakuul even allowed them to exist was beyond her.
Not that it mattered. Right now, she had a task to fulfill - one that would change the fate of the galaxy as they all knew it.
The Sith Empire called him enemy number one. The Republic called him their champion and the greatest Jedi to have ever existed.
The Empire of Zakuul simply called him the 'Outlander'.
It was a name they feared, rightly so. Years ago, he had defeated Zakuulian Emperor Valkorian - back then still known as Sith Emperor Vitiate - and brought a stunning defeat to the Sith Empire. Now, half a decade later, both factions were but echoes of their former selves, indirectly ruled by Valkorian and his endless army of machines.
As she reached the marked maintenance gate her contact told her off, she threw one more glance onto her lightsaber before she used the Force to throw it off of its hinges. This would lead her directly to where the Outlander - her beloved - was imprisoned.
''Come on, T7-01. Let's hurry.''
Just as predicted, getting in was easy. Both her affinity in the Dark Side and her skills with her lightsaber brandished the Zakuulian security mechs quickly. With speed, T7-01 and she made their way to the carbonite chambers where Valkorian had the Outlander imprisoned like a twisted trophy.
The mere thought of it enraged her to no end. To think that that planet devouring monster imprisoned the man she loved for years while both her home and the Republic crumbled to metaphorical dust? She couldn't even begin to describe the fury she felt at that.
And yet, she was lucky for it. Through passion, she gained strength. It was part of the Sith Code for a good reason. Anger, hatred, passion - all of it were tools at her disposals, tools that gave her immense power as she called upon them. And as she remembered the last five years it took to stage this rescue, all of the loss and the destruction that Zakuul has brought upon both the galaxy and her beloved during that time - she carved her way through the hordes of droids that stood in her way without breaking a sweat.
The galaxy was in ruin. They needed him. She needed him.
And there was nothing that would stand in her way.
Like a blast of fire, the world around Trilla started to move. It seemed as if every nerve of her body was set aflame as her hands began to shake, her very own muscles seemingly recalling the actions of the unknown Sith woman. Her memories played in front of her eyes as if they were her own, her feelings and emotions setting itself in her soul as if they were always there.
And for the final time today, the mysterious voice echoed in her skull.
There I was, a Sith Lord of a crumbling Empire, bound by fate and love to a Jedi of the Republic.
Sith, Jedi ... the entity I hunted knew them to be but words. Titles people clung to - to understand and classify the world around them. It's a lie, all of it.
There is only the Force, the dark and the light. Every other order, philosophy - in the grand scale of the galaxy, they are meaningless. I might believe and adhere to my version of the Sith Code ... but it is what you make of it. The Force doesn't grant us much freedom, but our own ideals and philosophies? Those are truly ours.
The voice seemed to sound more shallow with each passing word as time started to continue normally on Ordel.
Showing you my memories, helping you understand ... it weakened me. For now, you must walk this path alone. Use the passion for your friends as a weapon - not as a weapon of destruction, but for deliverance. Your emotions give you strength - don't banish them, master them as I have done.
You may call me Lana Beniko. Once I helped build an Alliance between the Sith and the Republic that changed the galaxy forever. Now, I'm but a memory of a distant legend. Nevertheless, remember this, Trilla Suduri: Through Passion, you gain Strenght.
''Eh, Force to Trilla. You still with me?''
Masana rocked her head and glared at Trilla with amble worry written in her face.
Sweat poured down from Trilla's face as she jumped away from Masana, her hand wandering quickly to her lightsaber as her frenzied brain tried to make sense out of what just happened.
''I ... '' Trilla closed her eyes and clenched her fist before she took a deep breath ''sorry, I was just ... thinking of Cere. Did you say something?''
''You looked like a corpse back there. And I don't mean that as a compliment.''
Trilla didn't answer that. Right now, she was busy trying to recollect what this Lana woman told her. Her words made sense, at least from where she was standing. But she just didn't know anything right now. And there was no time to think about it - Cere still needed to be rescued. There would time for reflection later, or that much she hoped at least.
''Do you ever?'' Trilla said with a chuckle that could only be described as fake before she nodded ''come on. Let's go!''
AN: Just a small thing to keep you entertained until Tuesday.
Guest: watch?v=P3ALwKeSEYs *Heartemoji*
Next up: (Finaly) Cal and Merrin are reunited! And something more, perhaps.
Also this chapter is number XXX - yeah, I laughed at it. A lot. Get it? Because you know.
Also - I finally made myself a Tumblr. Head over to my profile and check it out! xoxo