Author's note: following the plot from the last chapter, the christmas chapter will be out soon. my first pov chapter! eeeeeek!
Monday, June 27, 10:00 AM, Valentine Household
Cat's POV
I wake up all ditzy like normal, excited for the first week of summer break, until I realize that he's not here. My Catlap, my cuddle buddy, and my best friend isn't there to wake me up and compliment me. I still remember yesterday, though. I was drunk and I wasn't able to control myself, and I said some things that shouldn't have been said. To be fair, he did say some pretty rude stuff to me and he already found someone else to date. I did too. His name is Isaiah, he was my friend, and now we have a date in two hours. Thanks, Shapiro. Since time is being such a bitch, and waiting until 12 is gonna feel like an eternity, I just grabbed my phone. Bad idea, Valentine. Nothing from my ex, and nothing from Isaiah. Eh, they're probably still sleeping. What teenage boy wakes up at 10:00 anyway? I'll just go downstairs to the kitchen to get something to eat. I go to open the fridge and find so much fruit, vegetables, and raw meat, with a couple of drinks and other stuff. I just want to close it it and check the freezer door for stuff to eat.
What I see on the freezer door brought a couple of butterflies to my stomach. A Polaroid of Robbie and I at the beach was held on by magnets. Whatever, get over him. You're Caterina Valentine for cryin' out loud. Isaiah has many advantages over him anyway. He's a 6'4 shooting guard, unlike Robbie. He's only 5'8. Isaiah's way more muscular too, makes me drool. Robbie treats me better, though. Anyway, Robbie and I are over, Isaiah and I are a thing now. I kinda look weird, with bed head and my eyeliner off. I'll just go and make a bowl of oatmeal. And I just forgot how to make it. Thanks, mom, for throwing away the packaging. I guess I'll make eggs, then. And surprisingly, no cooking oil left. I'm fine until lunch. I kinda smell like sweat and dried cum. Oh, how much I miss that white cream on my face.
I'm gonna take a shower now. It's unusual to shower without anybody else in there with me, stuffed animal or human. Mr. Longneck, Ms. Llama, Puppers, the little puppy. Sucks that my parents gave them to my brother. All my life, my parents just cared for Shannon. And then they basically abandon me at home. I'm 17. Home alone. Lonely as hell. No one to talk to, snuggle up with or to cook for me. It's just me. As the hot water steams up my pink-tiled bathroom, I sit crosslegged in my bathtub, naked and depressed. Does Robbie still have any feelings for me? Probably not. I saw him drive across the house last night. With Gabriella, the new foreign exchange student from Nicaragua. I don't blame him. She's smarter than me, taller than me, and looks like she treats him better than me. Good for him. What? No! I'm jealous! At this point, screw Isaiah! I know I have a date with him tonight, but no one treated me better than Robbie did. I'm pretty clean, I guess, so I'm gonna dry myself off now. And there's still a remnant of that hickey on my left breast. My wrist still reads our initials in a heart. I'm gonna keep it that way. No one should forget their first love. Yeah, this is an appropriate time to cry. I mean, everything I did was for Robbie and I threw it all away by that stupid alcohol. I wanted to marry him and raise a family with him. But now I can't. Just because of a stupid bottle of wine.
I look at the tank top that Robbie gave me on our two month anniversary. It's all damp and stuff. I'll just throw it in the washer. I wonder what my future is gonna be like. I love to act, but I feel like singing just makes me feel like myself, you know? My brown hair is kinda giving me a hard time showering, like it absorbs a lot more water. I'll just dress up for my date, just in case Isaiah comes early, and boys do that a lot. Robbie came home early from work sometimes and tickled me down to the floor. My final look is a low-cut green long sleeve, bra straps visible, ripped skinny jeans, and pink Vans. I really outdid myself with the color this time around. Ooh, notification from The Slap. And it's from Robbie! What could this be? And I just smile stupidly. That didn't last long, because he just posted something on the feed. It just said "I fucking hate life. Feeling: Depressed" I feel like a failure. I was a liar, and I should have fought the urge. I should have done him better. At the end of the day, I ended up letting him go. I didn't deserve his love. This is all my fault, and I should have been more careful. If I could only show him why I truly loved him. All I cared about was him waking up safely into my arms and his love was unmatched. I burned rubber and went a hundred miles per hour. Sheet music and lyrics everywhere in my room. And my keyboard is still on, I could try a couple of these songs out. Until I found a song that I wrote that really describes how I'm feeling right now. I'm gonna go and set up my phone just in case some people want to see me sing this stupid song. I start playing my notes, and I'm already on the verge of tears again.
I was a liar,
I gave in to the fire.
I know I should've fought it,
At least I'm being honest.
Feel like a failure,
'Cause I know that I failed you.
I should've done you better,
'Cause you don't want a liar.
And I know, and I know, and I know
She gives you everything
But, boy, I couldn't give it to you.
And I know, and I know, and I know
That you got everything
But I got nothing here without you.
So one last time,
I need to be the one who takes you home.
One more time,
I promise, after that, I'll let you go.
Baby, I don't care if you got her in your heart,
All I really care is you wake up in my arms.
One last time,
I need to be the one who takes you home.
No one's gonna watch this stupid video anyways, but I'm stupid! I'll just post this on YouTube and go along with the rest of my life. Ding dong. Ooh! Someone's at the door! I've always had a thing about doorbells. I installed one at my Nonna's house in Venice. Robbie was at the door. Oh my God. Does he want me back? "Hey, what are you here for, baby?" I ask. He didn't treat me the same. "Don't sweet talk me, Cat. We're over. I forgot my guitar here yesterday. It's a thousand dollar guitar, and I need it back. The stand as well." He didn't even say hi back. This is all my fault. I go into my room and grab his overly expensive guitar and case. He just snatched them away from me, and I whimper like a bitch. "Thanks. So, how's your new boyfriend?" I want to tell him how I'm feeling right now, but he's just gonna say no. I guess I have to lie. "We're doing fine, thanks for asking. How's Gabriella? Being a bratty bitch?" I wanted to hurt myself after saying something that mean. I'm an idiot. Robbie has every right to treat me back worse. "You see? That's another problem with you. You're always so jealous and conceited. And to think that I loved someone like you. The guitar was all I came back here for. Bye." My heart. He was telling the truth the whole time. As the door was slammed in my face, I didn't know how to react. I just want to hide myself in my room for eternity. A phone call from Isaiah just came through. I'm still trying to hold back tears, and I stutter. In front of a boy. Fuck me. "H-hi, Isaiah." He answered back sweetly. "Hi, Cat, baby. Listen, I might come to pick you up early today. The traffic is light today, just like the rain. I'll see you in about 15 minutes, okay?" And I feel a little better now. My date's gonna come soon! Yay! I try to respond as calmly as possible. "That's great. See you in 15 minutes. Bye."
It's been 15 minutes. No bell. Now 16, 17, 18, 19 minutes pass by. I'm pretty sure he's just bullshitting me at this point. And after 45 gruesome minutes, his beat up Toyota sedan is parked in front of my house. I go to open my door to see him smoking a cigarette in blue jeans, a John Wall jersey, and running shoes covered in dirt. I try my best not to be mad at him. "Are you mad that I'm late?" The smoke is so fucking thick and it smells like shit. "No, I'm not mad at all," I said with a smile. As we're walking to his car, he puts me under his umbrella. So sweet of him. But you know what wasn't sweet? What I saw in his car. It smells like smoke, with drink cans under my seat, and cigarette ashes on the carpet. And the glove compartment had fucking blood stains on it. Okay, he's sketchy as hell. As he's pulling out of the driveway, I try my best to get out, but the car's moving. He takes a sip of a can of beer as he drives. Holy shit, he's drunk. I'm beyond mad right now. I'm fucking furious! "Isaiah, pull over!" I yelled. He did just that. Pussy. "What's wrong?" Is this guy stupid? "What's wrong? You drive drunk, you smoke, your car's a mess, and why is there a bra in the glove compartment? And crunchy socks?" I need to wash my hands when I get home, if I could find my way back. We're already a mile away. He's a dirty cheater. "The bra is part of my collection, I collect bras of the girls I date. Come here." He tries to kiss me, but I retaliate. He gave me a hickey on my neck. I'm fucking ready to kill him. I take a swing. He blocks it. And then he undos my ponytail and tugs on my hair. I scream for help, and I run out of the car. Tori's house is nearby, so I guess I'll go there. I'm soaking wet, and I text Beck to tell Tori what just happened. I'm a whole mess and an idiot for trusting someone like Isaiah.
I'm at the house. I look like a disaster. I slowly knock on the door until someone comes. And Tori came, and she was so sympathetic. "Oh, Cat. You look horrendous." I didn't take any offense. I know what happened. "I made a big mistake, Tori." We sat down on her couch together, and Beck already told her what happened. "Yeah, I heard. Look, Isaiah is like Ryder. Maybe even twice as bad, his girlfriend doesn't care if he cheats. I know you and Robbie did a lot on your bed. You can stay here as much as you want." Let me get one thing straight. I like Tori, but as a friend. I know her ploys, but I'm heterosexual. I tell her, "You do like me, don't you?" That didn't mean to come out as sexual at all, but she kind of took it that way. "I'll admit, I was kinda jealous of what you and Robbie had. Guys can be so stupid and ignorant. He'll realize soon enough that you were used, just as you had been before with Trevor and Kevin. They preyed on your innocent appearance. Hair color doesn't change that. He needs to grow up and realize that you need protecting." I pull up my wet sleeve to show off my tattoo. "But Robbie and I got tattoos and everything. I did that for him, not for me. Now I can't even look in the mirror without crying." Tori put her hand on my kneecap. "Why don't you just remove them? I don't want you to be sad." I pulled my sleeve back down. "No, I'm not. I want to remember my first love." Tori nodded her head and pointed to the stairs. "Fair enough. Let's brush your hair out in my room. It's a mess right now." It's great to have someone like Tori in your life. But after this conversation, I miss Robbie even more now.
Author's note: next chapter is in Robbie's pov.