Gods were not supposed to fall prey to mortal emotions. Fear, Love, Anger, Sorrow, those were just for them as gods were above such petty things. Yes, they embodied those emotions, but they were not subject to them; they commanded them.

Annoyance, irritation, these were small sparks that one may have with those they were familiar with. Siblings were notorious for this. Apollo and Artemis, as much as they professed their sibling love for one and another, bickered incessantly. Hardly an hour went by where they weren't purposefully irritating the other.

Eris had only ever been amused by this. However, now she had someone wearing on her nerves, a wholly new experience that she was growing more and more exasperated with.

And who was that someone, you ask?

"You know, I always did wonder what it was like having a job where you laid on your back and did nothing," the feeble mortal known as the Joker said. "But I've got to say, I don't see the appeal. How do you do it, Pammy?"

"Still thy tongue, you cretin," Eris growled. She had the Joker restrained to the floor, her vines and vegetation wrapped securely around him. She had tried to gag him on a couple occasions, but somehow this pale faced mortal removed the gag, once by chewing right through it, and others she still was trying to figure out.

"I'm being serious," the mortal protested. "I've been lying here for what? Ten? Fifteen seconds? Minutes? Hours perhaps? Time just flies when you're bored and I've got to tell you, this floor is soooo uncomfortable. My butt is becoming numb!"

"Shut up!" she finally snapped. "Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! I cannot take your incessant prattle any longer!"

"Hey, don't be that way. You know my silver tongue is part of my charm! Why, just imagine the sounds I can make you make! You'd be shrieking from horror."

Eris blinked her eyes. Something about that didn't seem right. Aphrodite had often praised some of her lovers for their abilities with mouth and tongue, so this seemed to go against that notion. "I fail to follow," she admitted.

"Untie me and I'll show you exactly what I mean." The green-haired mortal flexed his eyebrows up and down. "It'll be a night burned into your nightmares."

And she felt uneasy, another mortal emotion she was feeling ever since she encountered this strange creature. She was fairly certain no such person had existed and would ever exist. In fact, a part of her wanted to smite him if only to make him Hades' problem. The God of the Underworld had a talent for coming up with punishments and this one might give him pause.

That's when a door opened and Maxie Zeus appeared. For once, Eris was grateful to see a mortal, though that feeling was fleeting. The moment she spotted him, she saw him dressed in some gaudy tunic, gold fabric clashing with a deep purple sash. Both colors were signs of nobility and wealth, aspects the mortal clearly wanted to announce.

Maxie stopped when he caught sight of the scene before him. In his hands was a thunderbolt, one he leaned against the wall next to the door. "Eris? What is going on?" he asked in puzzlement. "Where is your kin? And why is Deimos tied to the floor?"

"An excellent question, my good man!" the Joker responded. "Tell him, Pammy, just why you wanted me tied up because I get the feeling it isn't because you want to have your mad way with me."

"There was...an incident," Eris said after a moment. "Deimos is no more and his host has not stopped acting the fool."

"Whoever said I was acting? I thought my clothes told everyone just who I am!"

Much to Eris' bewilderment, Maxie Zeus' eyes widened with astonishment and then horror. "Do you mean to tell me that the Joker lies before us with his full faculty?"

"Yep!" the Joker answered. "Assuming I had a full faculty to work with!" There was a pause. "Hey, I think I insulted myself somehow…"

"Kill him!" Maxie suddenly shouted, marching straight to the red-haired goddess. "His mayhem can only hinder us!"

"All in due time," Eris replied. "We are in need of a sacrifice and he is conveniently here. There is no need to use the other and we cannot be picky at this time."

"But he cannot be a worthy sacrifice! He is madness incarnate! Do you not know his exploits? He can destroy us all!"

"I am most certainly worthy!" the Joker interjected. "Why I'm worth more than either of you meat sacks, I'll let you know. That being said, I would most definitely not like to be a sacrifice. I rather like living, thank you very much."

"We are running out of time," Eris then explained, not the least bit caring of either mortal's concern. "We have all the necessary pieces together. The ritual circle is drawn; the sacrifice is in place and firmly secure; I know the words necessary for the ritual to be successful. What more can you ask for?"

"Do we not need the others for this ceremony? We originally needed six others and there is only just you. Desmond and the others are who knows where and we're also down Deimos." Maxie paused. "And where is Phobos? I do not see him anywhere."

Eris merely held up the Philosopher's Stone. "This should more than compensate for the others' absence. I will just have to be at the center of the circle with you in order to ensure we have all the power necessary. Any other objections?"

"There is still this man's worthiness."

Eris could feel her annoyance coming back, only directed at this foolishly-dressed mortal. He was dragging his heels and she did not care for such behavior any longer. "Listen to me, you cowardly mortal, we cannot and will not hold out any longer. You will perform the ritual; you will assume the position of Zeus, the King of the Gods; and you will do as I say, or I swear upon the River Styx that I will destroy you here and now. Now act like a man and do the damn ritual!"

Maxie Zeus stared at her before he gulped audibly. "Very well. Let's begin." He paused, infuriatingly so. "But...I do not have the ceremonial dagger."

Eris could have sworn she felt a vein pulse in her forehead. This mortal was seriously trying her patience. It was then she spotted something leaning against the wall next to the door Maxie Zeus had entered through. "You wish to assume the mantle of the Thunder God, yes? Then use that mighty thunderbolt."

The mortal turned his head to regard it, then looked back to her. "Are you certain that is appropriate? I thought we needed the dagger to successfully complete the ritual."

"Of course, you are right. But this is a special ritual and I see nothing wrong with assuming godhood with the very weapon you will be wielding. It's rather befitting, I must admit." She then leaned closer to him. "Now fetch your weapon and be ready to strike. Lightning does not strike the same spot twice after all, so you will only have one shot. You better make it good."

The darkness surrounded Flash on all sides. It embraced his body like no one had ever done and he wasn't sure he liked it. No, in fact, he was sure he hated it. He was being touched all over and he couldn't do a damn thing about it!

Twisting and turning, he tried to free himself, but there was no luck there. God! Why did this stuff have to be so damn difficult?!

Alright, Flash, this is no time to get claustrophobic, he told himself. Yeah, it sucked right now, but he needed a plan and one that helped him get out of this pickle. Thrashing about obviously wasn't helping.

So what if he did it at superspeed?

Moving as fast as he could, he even began vibrating his body to the atomic level, hopefully allowing him to phase through this stuff. Unfortunately, that didn't work, though it did give his body a reprieve from that constant touching. The darkness seemed to try and latch onto him the moment he began to vibrate, slipping off at every attempt.

Okay, that was something. His speed was going to get him out of this mess. Pausing for a moment to consider his next move, an idea then popped into his head. Perhaps if he tried to make a vortex, he might be able to move the darkness itself. It was worth a try anyways. So he began spinning clockwise, picking up speed until he was nothing more than a red tornado.

And as luck would have it, the darkness began to spin with him. Soon he was a swirl of red and black. Faster and faster he went until he noticed small rips in the shadow.

Aha! That was his ticket! Flash kept up his spinning, steadily increasing the size of the rips until the shadow finally gave out. Immediately, the sight of the sewers appeared before him, the hero slowing down to get a better picture of everything.

He was greeted with the sight of Katana swinging her sword in every which direction, fighting off what looked like a swarm of darkness. Huntress was hanging from the ceiling, shadows bound around her arms as she dangled with them above her head. The Shade watched the two women with amusement, unaware of the Flash's sudden release.

In an instant, Flash was at the man's side, slamming a fist into his face. A cry rang out as Shade went flying through the air, crashing to the floor. In response, the shadows around the two Gotham vigilantes stopped moving, then promptly fell apart. Katana remained on edge as she watched the swarming darkness collapse to the floor, fading from sight. Huntress was immediately dropped to the ground, where she landed on her feet.

In a flash, the purple-clad woman had a couple of those weird H-shaped throwing stars and she whipped her arm out, sending them flying towards Shade. Unfortunately, they weren't able to do much as a shadow shot up in front of the thin man and stopped the throwing stars. "Ugh, that happened," Shade muttered as he pushed himself back up. "You know, you're never going to hit me with those things."

"Let me guess, I should stop trying," Huntress spat back. "Hmmm, I don't think so."

"Hey, ladies," Flash then called out. "You two hang back. I've got this."

Shade turned his attention to the red-clad man. "And you're back. How did you get out of my shadow?"

"I could tell you, but I'd rather show you."

Then Flash was on the run, immediately ramming a fist into Shade's stomach. The man began to bend over from the blow, even as the speedster darted to a side. In slow motion, the shadow that had blocked Huntress' attack shot up from the floor, acting as if it were trying to do the same to the Flash. Making a large arc around his opponent, Flash then raced back in, landing another punch to the face and dashing away, again the shadow reacting a fraction of a second slower.

Over and over, Flash would dart in, landing a blow to Shade, and dancing away before the defensive shadows reacted. All the while, Shade was jerking back and forth, side to side as he was hit. Spit would fly from his mouth, air forced out of his lungs, and no doubt bruises forming from the repeated blows.

"Quit that!" Shade suddenly screamed before he threw a hand out. In response, a tidal wave of darkness raced in one direction, one Flash vacated only moments before. However, the speedster realized that perhaps he wasn't the target, or if he was, there were some unexpected casualties.

The wave of darkness bared down towards Huntress and Katana, both of them edging backwards. In an instant, Flash was at their sides, wrapping an arm around either of their waists. The surrounding sewer became a blur until Flash came to a stop right at a sewer entrance. Setting the two women down, he said, "Stay right here," before he bolted back towards Shade.

By the time he got back, the wave of shadow was crashing down right where the two vigilantes had been standing. Racing around it, Flash went in low this time, knocking Shade's feet out from underneath him, and sending him crashing to the floor.

Finally, Flash came to a stop, standing with his arms crossed over his chest as he stared at Shade lying on the floor, before he slowly began climbing to his feet. "You know, I can keep this up all day," he told him.

Shade shot him a scowl. "I swear, I'm going to crush you in darkness," he threatened.

"I've always been more a light guy. Sure you can't manage something like that?"

Suddenly, the shadows moved, but not towards Flash. Dropping his arms to his sides, he watched as the walls, floor, and ceiling were bathed in darkness until it was just him and Shade in this dark place. "Alright, you little lightning bug, let's see you escape from this," Shade growled.

That's when shadowy extensions shot towards the speedster. Some took the form of fists, others talons, and a couple tentacles. Flash watched them all close in on him, no doubt to pummel him into submission.

Yawn, he thought before he began vibrating his body. No doubt Shade would have gone for his feet again and he didn't feel like tripping over himself again and going right back to that shadowy cocoon.

As it turned out, that was exactly what Shade had done. The moment his shadow attacked, another portion had begun wrapping around the red-clad man's feet. Thanks to his vibrating, he phased right through it and then he took off running. The incoming fists and talons slowed until they were barely edging through the air. That left him with so much room to worm his way by them all, the man leaning from side to side, even ducking down to avoid them.

And then he was right in front of Shade. As much as he wanted to hit the guy, there was something else that needed to be done. Reaching out, he pried the man's cane out of his hand, then moved behind him. By then, he began to slow down, the shadow collapsing on itself where he had been standing originally.

"Where is he?" Shade muttered to himself as he began to look left and right. "I just know he—"

"Ah hem, hem," Flash coughed.

Shade snapped his head around, only to stop at the sight of him. "How did you?!" he exclaimed as he looked from his empty hand to the cane in Flash's grasp. "Give that back!"

Which Flash did. Swinging the cane out, he slapped it across the man's face, causing his head to jerk to one side as spit flew from his mouth. "I gotta admit, this is getting old," Flash admitted. "Let's say we end this and go have a cup of coffee. My treat."

"Why you!"

Flash then darted around the man until he was standing behind him again. With the cane drawn back, he then slammed it against the back of Shade's head. The man cried out before he once again fell to the floor.

However, unlike previous times, the shadows around them suddenly dissipated. Soon, the sewer appeared again. Looking down at Shade, Flash couldn't help but note just how vulnerable the guy looked.

At least the hard part was over. Maybe one of those Gotham gals had a way to keep him unconscious. Then they could go help the others with their own meta guy.

They stood outside of the cathedral, no apparent changes noticeable. The vines still barred the door and there weren't any signs of damage to the building. The others must have had their hands full.

"You still think you can get us in?" Hawgirl questioned as she adjusted the grip of her mace. She was staring down Dr. Alchemy, almost daring him to say otherwise. It was clear she didn't trust him.

Diana felt the same way.

"Your constant inquiries are annoying," the green-cloaked god said drolly as he began to approach the building. "Allow me to show you to dispel all doubt."

Diana looked to Hawkgirl and Manhunter, the two looking back to her. As much as they distrust this person, this was their best opportunity to get to Eris and stop her scheme. Beggars could not be choosers. So with a step, the Amazon followed the man-made god, stopping only a few steps behind him as he held both of his hands up.

As if in response, the vines began to squirm, tightening themselves against the door. This did not perturb Dr. Alchemy as his hand began to glow. Suddenly, steel spikes erupted all over the door, ripping through the vines. Diana could have sworn she heard a shriek as the vegetation was torn apart.

Then the spikes returned into the door, the wooden surface looking as if it hadn't just changed material right before their eyes. Dr. Alchemy then reached to the door handles and pulled on them, the large doors creaking open.

Immediately they flooded into the church, spotting Eris looking over her shoulder at them, a scowl on her face. Maxie Zeus was standing next to her, he too looking towards women and his alleged comrade. For added measure, the Joker was lying on the floor and he managed to raise his head up to look right at them.

"Hey! Now this is a party!" the insane man exclaimed. "I didn't realize we were having an orgy!"

"Insolate wretch!" Eris screeched at the man before returning her attention back to the interlopers. "Princess, you and your friends have just the worst timing."

"That's kind of what we do," Hawkgirl responded for her. "Now step away from the Joker and put that—"

The Thanagarian actually stopped. Diana had to resist the urge to frown and look to her Sister. "What the hell is that?" the redhead asked.

"Are you talking about that thing in Zeus' hands?" Manhunter questioned. "Cause he's got that thing pointed right at the Joker's chest and I'm not certain it's something we want to stop."

"Be careful," Dr. Alchemy spoke. "That is indeed lightning in solid form I created for Maxie Zeus. One strike from it and you will fry where you stand."

The three heroines looked to the god. "And how the hell did you make that?" Manhunter demanded.

Dr. Alchemy merely pointed to Eris, though it became more obvious it was towards the stone she held in her hand. It seemed to glow form some inner red light. "The Philosopher's Stone, if you must know. It is incumbent on us to take it back from the Embodiment of Strife before she accesses its full power."

"If it's not just one thing," Hawkgirl muttered.

"Desmond! Dr. Alchemy!" Maxie Zeus suddenly cried out. "Why do you interrupt my ascension to godhood thus?"

"Sire, you must listen to me," Dr. Alchemy implored. "Do not trust that witch next to you. I fear she has ulterior motives."

"And what makes you think that, Alchemy God?" Eris taunted bemused.

"I would like the answer to that as well," Maxie added.

"Think about it," Dr. Alchemy said. "She split us up from you. There was no point in doing so. If she truly wants your success, why steal you away and send us to the four corners of the city?"

"Don't be so dramatic," Eris interjected. "A distraction was needed and what better people to do so then you?"

"I do not find fault in this reasoning," Maxie agreed.

"I might," the Joker piped in.

"Then how about the ritual circle?" Dr. Alchemy pressed. "Faust and I are the only ones with the knowledge to create them."

"Not so. Eris and her brothers are just as familiar, if not more so. It was they that created the circle in which I stand in."

Dr. Alchemy's eyes narrowed. "I have only glanced upon it since my arrival, but I can tell you I've already spotted four errors. I have my doubts towards the validity of that claim."

Maxie Zeus seemed startled by that. "Errors?" he questioned as he looked to Eris.

"Then you need to have your sight checked," Eris rebutted.

"I don't know about you, but I'm getting tired of this pissing contest," Hawkgirl muttered lowly to Diana.

"As am I," she agreed. Taking a step forward, she then pointed a finger towards Eris. "I do not care what is going on here, but I demand that you put a stop to it."

"And what do you intend on doing about it?" the redhead goddess sneered.

That's when Manhunter took a step forward, hefting up her staff. "We blow the absolute shit out of your little circle. Can't do whatever the hell you're doing if it's in a hundred pieces."

The moment Eris shifted her attention to the Gotham vigilante, Diana made her move. Launching herself forward, she took to the flight, flying like a missile towards the goddess. Eris caught sight of her an instant later, but it was far too late for her to do anything. Ramming right into her, Diana lifted the goddess off the floor, and carried her upwards through the air. Rising higher and higher, they collided with the upper portion of the wall, close to the ceiling, bursting through it.

"Well, that's one way to take care of things."

Shayera stared at the hole up towards the ceiling, the one Diana had made when she slammed Eris right through it. The action had been sudden and surprising, but the winged woman couldn't argue with the results. If Eris could get up from that, it would be impressive. Diana could take care of herself though, so there wasn't much to worry.

"Desmond! How could you?!" Maxie Zeus suddenly cried out, directing the redhead's attention to the gaudily dressed man. "Why do you stand against me instead of at my side?"

"I've already told you," Dr. Alchemy responded coolly. "Those Olympians were up to something and I believe they still are."

"I can't believe this. I'm about to become a god and you interfere. This is the most pivotal moment and you have ruined it!"

Geez, this guy sounded like some bratty kid. This was supposed to be the leader of the meta-human creators? Lord, this was proving to be a letdown.

"All is not lost," Dr. Alchemy reassured Zeus. "We can still perform the ritual, but you must allow me to examine the ritual circle and provide you with the proper tools. It should not be too hard to correct the errors made in the circle. All I need is a few moments."

"And what of the power source? Eris had the Philosopher's Stone!"

That caused the green-cloaked man to pause. "That is a problem," he admitted, "but I should be able to create another."

Zeus leveled the man with a dubious look. "And how do you plan to accomplish that? You required the Shade to steal massive amounts of materials the last time."

Dr. Alchemy turned his head towards Shayera and Manhunter, a sinking feeling welling up in the redhead's gut. This guy better not say what she thought he was going to say…

"I have some raw material here that should suffice."

Damn it, she knew it!

Shayera didn't waste any time. She leaped towards Dr. Alchemy, swinging her mace as electricity abruptly began to spark all around its head. Unfortunately, the man saw it coming and he immediately ducked, her mace swinging over his head. As the man crouched, he thrust his hand out towards her, his palm glowing.

That was when something metal wrapped around her waist, shortly followed by her arms. Jerking her head around, she saw some of the vines covering the wall stretching out towards her, but shortly after changed into metal chains. How that was possible, she had no idea, but those chains were moving with a mind of their own, wrapping around her body and restraining her. Pulling her arms against the chains, she forced them apart even as more tried to wrap around them and push them back against her.

That's when an explosion detonated right where the plants were lying and the chains went slack against her. Manhunter had her staff pointed in that general direction, meaning she had fired that cannon thing at it. Well, the Thanagarian wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth. Shrugging off the limp chains, she directed her attention back to Dr. Alchemy, who had taken the time to put some distance between him and her.

Just not a lot of distance to make a difference.

Again, she lunged towards him and reached out with a hand. She grabbed him by his shirt and yanked him up into the air. "I've had just about enough of you," she growled before she twisted around and swung the man. Letting go, she sent him flying through the air and towards a large stained glass window, one he shattered as he crashed through it.

Now that had felt satisfying.

Hawkgirl took off into the air, flying right through the broken window as she chased after Dr. Alchemy. That left Manhunter standing, staring towards the formerly century old window.

Unfortunately, that was not a good decision on her part.

A bolt of electricity raced across the room, striking her in the back. The brunette screamed as voltage poured into her, blasting her right off of her feet and sending her flying into the wall. The electricity kept her pinned there for several seconds until it just as suddenly stopped, allowing her to crumble to the floor in a heap.

Maxie Zeus stood in the ritual circle, holding up his solid thunderbolt, its jagged tip pointed towards the vigilante. The origin of the electricity had come from that thunderbolt and the shipping magnate could not have looked more thrilled at its success.

"Shocking," the Joker remarked.

"Quite," Maxie agreed as he lowered his sights to the clown. "I can only imagine what it would be like to have it stabbed right into you."

Despite the madman's precarious state, he looked coolly up at the bearded man. "Then you better hope your first strike lands, because lightning doesn't strike the same spot twice."

"I'm willing to believe this thunderbolt," at this Maxie hefted up his weapon, "is the exception to that rule."

"We won't be finding out for awhile though. It seems your best chance at this thing just flew the coop—literally, heh heh. Whatever will you do?"

Maxie stared down at the man. "Fortunately for me, I can speak and read Greek fluently. I have heard the enchantment many times over. I have the gist of it."

The Joker raised an eyebrow. "What about that friend of yours? The doctor guy? What was his name? Oh yes, Desmond. He mentioned something about errors and that leads a guy like me to believe this isn't something you'd want to mess up. How confident are you that you can say everything correctly? And what about the circle, hmm? There's enough grammatical errors for a teacher's red pen to have a field day. Shouldn't you be fixing those?"

"This circle was made by the Olympian Gods themselves. I highly doubt they would make such crude mistakes. They are the epitome of perfection."

A tight lipped smile appeared on the Joker's face, one that stretched from ear to ear, giving him a rather sinister look. "Perfection is an illusion of weak-minded sheep. The concept itself doesn't exist. And believe you me, those 'perfect beings' are just as flawed as us. I had one in my head after all; I would know."

For a fleeting moment, doubt flashed over Maxie's face before it was replaced with a scowl. "Still thy tongue, monster, or I will strike you down before the ritual can be commenced."

"Then who would you have for your sacrifice, hmm? Sacrifices don't just grow on trees, ya know."

"I said be silent!"

"No, you usaid 'still thy tongue.' Unfortunately for you, I have restless tongue syndrome, so it never really ever stays still."

A vein began to visibly pulse on Maxie's forehead. "I will not repeat myself, jester. Be silent!"

"Ohhhhh, you just repeated yourself, ummmmmmmmm."

Maxie gave into his anger as fury wrote itself on her face. "Silence!" he screamed as he held his thunderbolt over his head, ready to strike it against the green-haired menaced.

A whirring sound was made just before something black and sharp struck the man's hand, causing him to cry out as the thunderbolt went flying out of his grasp, clattering across the floor. Gripping his hand, Maxie blew on it to soothe the pain, but paused when he spotted a small black thing on the floor.

A bat-shaped shuriken to be precise.

Dropping to the floor, Batman landed between Maxie Zeus and his thunderbolt. The vigilante had been watching the entire time as the goddess-possessed Poison Ivy convinced the deluded Maxie into killing the Joker. He held his vantage point when the ladies of the Justice League stormed in and Diana took the alleged Eris out of the church. He winced when Hawkgirl threw Dr. Alchemy through the stained glass window. And he was on guard as Maxie Zeus electrocuted Manhunter and nearly killed the Joker.

"Batsy!" the madman cried out as he raised his head off the floor to look at him. "You finally came! I was starting to wonder where you were hiding!"

"Maximilian Zeus," Batman intoned, ignoring the clown's excitement. "I'm putting an end to this plan of yours. You're going to jail."

"Batman!" Zeus hissed as he stared at the Dark Knight. "You can't be here! Not now!"

"Oh, he has a talent for showing up when he's not wanted, believe you me," the Joker sympathized.

The vigilante took a step towards the shipping magnate. "I'm only going to say this once. Give yourself up, or I will make you give up."

"If I were you, I'd listen," the Joker advised. "He has a mean right hook and he doesn't mind breaking a bone or two. You wouldn't believe how long it takes for one of those to heal. Just ask my old shrink."

"I will not give in," Zeus growled. "I have come too far and am too close to realizing my dream. And I won't let you stop me!"

"Looks like someone chose to do things the hard way."

"Last chance, Zeus," Batman said. "You're unarmed and defenseless."

"Defenseless? Defenseless?!" Zeus' voice raised with rage with every repetition. "I will show you defenseless!"

And then he charged.