Chapter 20

~.~

(Eret's POV)

It's been almost seven months since Ruby was born.

I've seen a change in my wife, a change I see pretty often, unfortunately, but a change I can never get used to.

She's moodier, crying more often, feeling like a failure as a mother.

Becky, who didn't used to like kids, has been really great with our daughter. Her maternal instincts haven't failed once.

But she's still changed for the worse since we had Ruby.

She no longer has to fear her fear, thank goodness. Recovery was pretty painful for her though, and her adoptive siblings were a big help with taking care of Ruby, who was six months at the time.

Becky has been struggling to lose the baby weight, to tell you the truth. And I'm afraid she'll go back to purging, like she did after we lost our daughter through miscarriage.

I'm currently playing with Ruby while Becky is asleep. She may have fully physically recovered from her fear, but not emotionally.

Penny is in our room with Becky, lying next to her in the bed.

"Eret?"

"Yes, love?"

"Can…can you come here for a minute?"

I wonder what she needs. I pick up Ruby and, carrying my daughter in my arms, head to Becky's and my bedroom.

"What is it, love?"

"I'm scared."

"What are you scared of, darling?"

"That I'll hurt her…that I'll do something wrong."

"Honey, every new parent fears that they'll do something wrong. You're doing great. Why don't you and Ruby play together for a while while I go out and, oh, I don't know, get some groceries or something?"

"But I…I don't have the confidence to be left alone with her. I'm sorry I'm a failure as a mother. And as a wife."

"Becky, darling, you're not a failure. And you were left alone with her loads of times when I went back to work."

"That was when she was too small to get into any trouble. Now she's crawling. Even now she wants to get away from you to crawl."

"Becky, honey, she wants you."

"Me?"

"You're her mother. You can do this. I trust you."

"But what if I mess up?"

"I'm only a phone call away, and your adoptive family is right down the hall if anything should occur. You've got this. Just rely on your maternal instincts. Okay? You're a great mother."

"Okay. Thank you for believing in me, Eret."

"You're welcome. I'll be back soon. Have fun, you two." I kiss my daughter's head and kiss my wife before passing Ruby over to her mother, petting Penny and leaving them.

(Becky's POV)

"Okay, Ruby. We can do this. After all, I'm your mother." Carefully and slowly, I carry Ruby to the living room so we can play. I gently set her down on her bottom and she grabs her favorite toy at the moment – her Pooh bear she inherited from me. Penny followed us and she's loyally sitting next to me, not wanting to leave my side.

Penny is such a good girl.

"Is that Pooh bear? Have you got Pooh bear?" My daughter starts to babble to me.

"Oh, really? I see. So that's how you feel?" She continues babbling. She gets on all fours and starts crawling towards me.

"That's it. Come on. Come to Mama."

Ruby crawls towards me and I pick her up.

"You did such a good job crawling, baby girl! Mama is so proud of you." I plant a kiss on my daughter's cheek.

I suddenly smell something. I sniff Ruby.

Uh-oh. She hates having her diaper changed.

"Okay, Rubes. Looks like you need your diaper changed."

We head to her room and I set her on the changing table after getting a fresh diaper. Penny, of course, follows.

"Mama just needs to change your diaper, okay?"

She immediately starts crying as soon as her diaper is off.

"I know, baby girl. I know. It's gonna be over soon."

It's then I remember her favorite song.

I start to sing.

I love you a bushel and a peck
A bushel and a peck and a hug around the neck
A hug around the neck and a barrel and a heap
A barrel and a heap and I'm talking in my sleep about you

My daughter soon settles down and I finish changing her diaper.

"All done! Mama's all done changing your stinky diaper!"

"I see things are going well." I look up and see my husband has returned.

Eret takes my place so I can go wash my hands.

"Where are the groceries?" I ask after I return.

"I was just…outside the hall. Listening."

"And how long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough to hear your beautiful singing voice. I haven't heard you sing in months, love."

"Well, I don't have the voice of an angel."

"I think you do."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. You did great with her. See? I told you. You're a great mother."

"Thank you. Aww, look, she's fallen asleep." Eret looks at his sleeping daughter. At our sleeping daughter.

"Have you got this? Or shall I?"

"I think I can handle putting her to bed. After all, I am her mother."