Chapter 24

Arthur woke up in a very uncomfortable position and in a lot of pain. He could hear someone crying out his name, but there was also a strange, high-pitched whistling noise and something that sounded like strong wind carrying a drum beat.

"Arthur," the voice sobbed as the other noises faded but another, new noise grew louder, "Arthur, please. Please, Arthur, wake up. I- I can't- Arthur."

Arthur's eyes shot open. He knew that voice. He tried to reply, but just groaned deeply.

"Arthur!"

"Merlin," he managed.

"Please, Arthur. Can you-"

Arthur suddenly realised what the new noise he could hear was and why Merlin must be so upset. The car's horn was blaring under the pressure of Arthur's body.

"I'm sorry, Merlin," he rasped, "Are you ok?"

"We crashed," Merlin mumbled from somewhere to Arthur's left, "We crashed and, and, and the horn, and you're, and dad-"

"You need to calm down," Arthur tried to move so he could see his boyfriend, but he was stuck in whatever strange position he was currently in. He'd only just managed to stop the horn from blaring. "We're going to be fine, yeah? We're on our way to see Gwen's baby, remember?"

"It's dark," Merlin said, "It was dark last time. And the horn. That was louder than last time," he made a strange moaning sound and Arthur heard him shuffling about, "It was dark, and then the flames, and then the horn and then more dark and then dead."

"Merlin, this isn't the same crash," Arthur tried to stay calm, "You know it's not the same crash. Can you see?"

"Dark."

Arthur sighed, "Merlin, please. Listen to me. You need to calm down and stay still. Do you know who I am?"

"Arthur," Merlin said, "You weren't there- here-"

"That's right. This isn't the same crash. No one's going to die, Merlin, I'm right here."

"Arthur," Merlin repeated, sounding more like himself.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm here."

"Are you hurt?" Merlin asked.

Arthur sighed in relief at having avoided Merlin's on coming panic attack. Memories of his old accidents were common triggers for him.

"Where are you hurt?" Merlin asked again.

"I don't know, everything hurts but is numb at the same time. Where am I trapped?"

"We're upside down," Merlin said, "Your head's trapped between the dashboard and the roof."

"The roof?"

"Yeah. It's caved in."

"Alright. Can you see the rest of me?"

"Just your back," Merlin said.

"Where are you? Are you hurt?"

"My seatbelt snapped or opened or something," Merlin said, "I'm stuck between what used to be your windscreen and what I think might be the back seat."

Arthur didn't even want to think about how that had happened. He could hear the pure fear in Merlin's voice and how desperately he was trying to keep himself together despite the situation.

"I'm proud of you, Merlin," Arthur said, "You're doing well."

"I'm scared."

"I know. So am I. Do you know how long we've been down here?"

"No idea. I woke up just before you did and the horn-"

"Don't think about the horn," Arthur told him.

"Arthur, I can feel something inside me."

"What do you mean?"

"Like stabbing me."

"Don't move," Arthur said, really wishing he could move his head, "Don't look at it. Think about something else."

"It's in my lung, Arthur. I don't think I can breathe."

"Of course you can. Think about something else, Merls. Think about Killi. Talk to me about Killi."

"No, Arthur. What about you? Are you hurt?"

"My head's a bit sore," Arthur said, "And I can feel blood on my shoulder."

Merlin whimpered.

"I'm going to be alright, Merlin. We both are. We've been through worse."

"Will they take you away from me?" Merlin asked.

Arthur was sure if he could see anything except the dark ground his face was squashed against, his vision would be starting to blur.

"Arthur."

"Hm?"

"No. Don't fall asleep. Please don't fall asleep. You said you'd be alright."

Arthur blinked his eyes to wake himself up, "What were you saying?"

"It doesn't matter. You said the other week we could go on holiday to Ireland."

"Yeah," Was all Arthur could manage.

"Where in Ireland?"

"Where you grew up," Arthur mumbled, "So you can scatter Will's ashes. You said you wanted to there." He didn't have the capacity to worry about what mentioning his brother's death could do to Merlin's already unstable mentality.

"Ok," Merlin's voice quivered, "I can take you to the forest. There's a waterfall."

"A big one?"

"Huge," Merlin said, "With loads of levels. It's so beautiful, Arthur. You'll love it. And it's really quiet, barely anyone knows it's there."

Arthur didn't reply.

"Open your eyes, Arthur."

How Merlin had known he'd closed them, Arthur would never know but he managed to do as his boyfriend told him.

"Please don't fall asleep, Arthur. Help will be here soon, and then we can get out and see Gwen's baby. That's what you told me, that's what you said."

Arthur realised Merlin must be relying on what Arthur had told him to keep himself calm but couldn't muster the energy to reassure him further.

"You said we were going to see Gwen, didn't you, Arthur? Arthur, please. I'm scared Arthur. You have to tell me," Merlin sniffled, "Killi. You said talk about Killi. I'll do what you asked, Arthur, if you stay awake. Killi will love the baby. I bet he'll be so gentle with it. Him. I said it would be a boy, didn't I? And you said we can have pizza. We can still have pizza, can't we, Arthur? Not curry. Arthur, please."

Arthur had never realised how much his words meant to Merlin. All of these things he'd told him previously which he was now using to try and calm himself in a potentially deadly situation.

"What else did you say? What else? Don't think about it? The thing in my lung, you said don't think about it. Think about something else. What else is there? The grass is wet, Arthur. Why is it wet in summer? What else? You said- you said you're proud. Why are you proud?"

Arthur could hear whatever sanity Merlin had managed to keep so far melting away.

"No one's going to die," Merlin continued to mutter, "You said that. No one's going to die. No one's going to die. Think about something else. You're going to be alright. No one's going to die. Listen to you. I always listen to you, Arthur. You told me to. I can smell smoke, Arthur."

Merlin stopped repeated Arthur's previous words and began sobbing instead.

"Arthur."

Arthur woke up again in an ambulance and immediately panicked.

"Merlin," he said, fighting to sit up, "Where's Merlin? He was scared. He was really scared. I'm the only one who can help him when he's scared. I can calm him down. I need to see him. I need Merlin, where is he? Merlin!"

The time Arthur woke up properly, he was in the hospital. He'd been in there enough to recognise the smell, the noise and the lights. His mind was thick from medication and it took him a while to remember why he was there. But when the car crash came flooding back into his memories, he found himself wide awake, desperate to find someone to talk to.

As if on cue, a nurse walked in and smiled at him, "How are you feeling?"

"Awful," Arthur chuckled, "What happened? I know I was in a car crash, but apart from that- where's Merlin?"

"Woah, slow down," the nurse smiled at him, "When your car crashed, you got trapped between the dashboard and the roof. The car was flipped. You completely crushed and shattered the bones in and around your shoulder."

"Did the airbag not-"

"It didn't inflate," the nurse said, "But by some miracle you didn't hit your head hard enough to cause any damage aside from a bruise. You've also got a bruised hip, we think it probably got hit off the steering wheel. And the seatbelt's left some nasty marks which should fade given time."

"Is that it?"

The nurse nodded, "You were extremely lucky."

"What about Merlin?"

"Was he the other person in the car with you?"

Arthur nodded.

"His airbag didn't inflate either but his seatbelt mustn't have been in properly because he ended up getting thrown through the windscreen and getting trapped partially under the roof. A piece of glass punctured his lung."

"His lungs were bad already," Arthur sighed.

The nurse looked sympathetic, "He'll be fine, though. He's in theatre now just getting the last few pieces of glass removed."

"Nothing broken?"

"Only a couple of ribs. He has the same bruising as you from the seatbelt."

"Thank god. He's been through enough without having to wait another two months for more broken bones to heal. How long have we been here?"

"Only one night. Unfortunately you didn't have any ID on you so we haven't been able to get names or medical history."

"We had our ID in the car," Arthur said.

The nurses face fell, "The car blew up."

"It what?"

"Just after they managed to get Merlin out. The engine blew."

Arthur sighed and gave the nurse all the details she needed before saying, "We were on our way here to visit out friend who'd just given birth. Is there any way we can see them?"

"I'll see if I can arrange it."

"They'll be worried about us," Arthur added, "Could I speak to them?"

"I'll find you a phone."

"Thank you."

The nurse left and returned a few seconds later with a hospital phone, "What's the name of your friend?"

"Guinevere."

The nurse spoke down the phone to the maternity unit, waited a few seconds, then handed Arthur the phone.

"Arthur?" Lancelot's voice came, "We were so worried, what happened?"

"The car crashed," Arthur said, "It blew up with our phones still inside it. I'm so sorry. How's Gwen? And the baby? Is everything alright?"

"Fine. They're both fine. It went really well."

"I'm glad and I'm sorry our drama took away from your day."

"It's hardly your fault," Lancelot said, "Are you both alright?"

"We're fine, it's nothing serious."

"I'm so glad to hear that. Gwen's been beside herself. Morgana said she hadn't heard from you and you weren't at your house. Gwaine tried driving past where we heard there was an accident along the route you'd be taking, but couldn't see if it was your car and no one would tell him."

"I'm sorry we scared you. Tell Gwen we're fine, we're sorry and we'll try to come down to see her today."

"No bother. See you later, mate. Glad you're ok."

Arthur handed the phone back to the nurse and thanked her again, "Where's Merlin?"

"He's staying on this same bay, don't worry. We tried to move him but it didn't go down very well."

"Yeah, I can imagine, sorry about that."

"Don't be silly. He'll be back soon, anyway. We had to put him fully under anaesthetic because otherwise he was too anxious. He's been very worried about you. This is an awkward question, but we do have to ask- do you think he needs extra support mentally?"

Arthur smiled and shook his head, "No, we manage perfectly as long as someone he trusts is with him. He's usually completely fine so long as I'm with him but he's been in a car crash before and it killed his father so it wasn't an easy situation for him to be in. I'll talk to him and he'll be fine."

"You're not just saying that?"

"No. I promise. We manage just fine. We've got lots of people to help us as well."

"Alright. Is there anything you need? Any more pain relief?"

"No, I'm fine, thanks. Just, erm, how long will we have to stay here?"

"I'd definitely say less than a week for you. You had your surgery on your shoulder last night when you were brought in. You'll need to go to your GP for check ups and take it easy with walking because of your hip."

"What about Merlin?"

"I'd guess about the same. We'll send you home with some oxygen- you live together, right?"

Arthur nodded.

"So, yeah, you'll probably be given some oxygen for him for during the night or if he needs it. We'll monitor everything here for a while and send you both home as soon as possible. Right, I'll go and find someone to ask about visiting your friend in maternity."

"Thank you."

Arthur looked around him for the first time. He was on a ward with the curtains pulled around his bed mostly but on his right, there was a big open space. He knew there was meant to be a bed there by the plugs and machines and bedside cabinets. He smiled when he realised who must have been there.

And so, unsurprisingly, when Arthur woke up after a quick nap, he looked to his right and there was a bed housing his boyfriend. Arthur watched him for a while making sure he was alright. He was shirtless, with a thick bandages wrapped around his chest, no doubt covering another scar to add to his collection. He had an oxygen tube in his nose and he was slightly pale. Arthur frowned when he saw worry lines and wrinkles around Merlin's eyes that were never usually there. His lips were pursed and his jaw was tight, even in his medically induced sleep. That made Arthur sad.

After a few minutes, Merlin's eyes began to flicker and they opened, finding Arthur immediately. The worry lines vanished the second Merlin saw him awake.

"Arthur," he grinned.

"Hey."

"I thought we agreed it wouldn't be us that needed visiting," Merlin laughed.

"Yeah, well. Are you alright?"

"I am now. I was really worried, Arthur. They took you away from me. I didn't know where you were."

"You didn't think they'd look after me?"

"In the car. You stopped talking to me and then they took you and they wouldn't tell me where you were."

"I'm fine, Merlin. I'm sorry I stopped talking to you in the car, I didn't want to upset you."

"I thought that you were-"

"Sh, Merlin. It's ok. I'm fine."

"Gwen's going to be so upset we didn't go to see her. It was meant to be their day. We ruined it."

"I've talked to Lance," Arthur said, "They're not annoyed with us. They were just worried."

"Really? They're going to get so sick of visiting us in hospital."

"We won't be here long."

"Where's Killi? He's not by himself, is he?"

Arthur hesitated, "I don't actually know."

Merlin looked terrified, "But-"

"Don't worry. They've said we can go and visit Gwen later. We'll ask then."

"How are you feeling?" Merlin asked him in concern.

"I'm fine, Merls, you really don't need to worry. Promise."

"You'll tell me if you're not?"

"Of course I will," he laughed, "Looks like we'll be back to our routine of napping twice a day."

"As long as that comes with a cuddle, I don't have a problem with that."

"You'd do anything for a cuddle."

"You're good at giving cuddles."

"Right," a doctor came over to them, "We want you both to get a bit more rest but then after lunch, we've arranged some porters to take you over to see your friend. You're not to stay too long and you're not to get out your wheelchairs, alright?"

Merlin and Arthur both nodded as if they were being told off.

"Right, good. Get some rest."

Merlin wished he were close enough to Arthur to take his hand. Instead, they had to settle for looking at each other longingly until they fell asleep.

When Arthur woke up, Morgana was sitting between the two beds, talking on the phone. When she saw Arthur awake, she stopped mid-sentence and said, "Dad, I'll call you back."

"Hi, Morgs."

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine."

"We were worried."

"So I've heard. What time is it?"

"Three."

"Three?" Arthur screeched.

Morgana laughed, "Yeah. Listen, erm, the police have been on the phone to dad."

"What about?"

"Do you remember why you crashed?"

"I don't remember any of it. Last thing I remember before waking up here is getting in the car to drive here and see Gwen. I remember that Merlin did his own seatbelt up though," Arthur said, "I didn't check it was on properly. I always check, Morgs."

She shook her head, "Don't blame yourself for things that didn't happen. He's fine."

Arthur sighed, "Anyway, what were you saying about the crash?"

"Oh, yeah. The car crashed because a van drove into it."

"Right."

"The driver didn't survive," Morgana continued, "They suspect he was drunk. He was a man named Jonas."

"What's that got to do with dad?"

"He was Morgause, Nimeuh and Sofia's father."