21. Secrets
I spent the rest of the week going through the motions. I guess I always knew that the day
would come when Leah would find someone. I had just always hoped that I would be oblivious
to it when she did. I wish I could just move on from her, but it's not that simple. I had become so
accustomed to the happiness that her presence presented. I may never be able to fully move on
from the dreamlike summer that she gave me. At least I'll still have the best summer of my life to
always keep in memory. I would say that I'm glad she's happy, but that would be a partial lie. I really
want her to be happy with me, but if her happiness leaves me hurting, then I guess it's worth it.
It's the night of the dance. I wasn't sure what to wear, but Candace gave me instructions. I
didn't exactly own that many dress clothes. I hesitantly walked into the room that would've been my
parents and found a blue long sleeve button up shirt and a black tie that belonged to my dad. I was
surprised to find that the shirt fit. Another advantage of my growth spurt. Luckily, I had my own pair
of khakis and dress shoes, because his pants were too big and his shoes were too small. My
sister's boyfriend helped me tie the tie. My sister was practically squealing in excitement. She was
really happy that her socially awkward and reclusive brother was finally hanging out with people.
She was beyond ecstatic about the dance and asked me way more questions than necessary. She
tended to do that often. I'm just thankful that she's stopped asking me what happened to me and
Leah. I attempted to rush out the door, but my sister made me wait so she could snap some
pictures. She also handed me a bouquet of flowers to give to Candace. I wasn't sure about giving
her flowers. I didn't want to send the wrong message, even though it was clear that we were going
as friends.
I got to Candace's house early so we could take some pictures. She loved the flowers and her
parents were extremely polite. She also had three little brothers that got in trouble for messing with
us during pictures. Candace looked beautiful in her dress. It almost made me wonder if she'd be
embarrassed to be seen with me. After what seemed like forever, we were finally finished with
pictures. If there is one thing that I hate, it's taking pictures. I opened my truck door for Candace and
helped her in. I looked back and saw her parents nodding in approval. The truck roared to life as we
started our journey on the wet blacktop. "I didn't get a chance to tell you earlier, but you look
handsome." She assured me. That caught me off guard and I could feel my cheeks starting to burn.
"Thank you, you look beautiful as well." I responded trying to ease my nerves about the dance.
"I know you're not big on this type of thing, but I'm really thankful that you agreed to go with me."
"I'm sure we'll have a good time. I'm a little tense. I'm not much of a dancer, but I'll try since you've
helped so much with math."
"Is that the only reason you're doing this?" She asked looking at me as her brown eyes glowed in the
headlights of an oncoming vehicle.
"No, I enjoy spending time with you. I'm secretly kind of excited about this. I know that I'll have a good
time with you. I'm just a little nervous."
"I'll make sure that it doesn't become too much for you. Do you trust me?" She asked as we drove
through the row of cars by the gymnasium.
"I trust you." I assured her as I squeezed into an empty parking spot.
The dark gymnasium was filled with different colored lights that flashed off of the decorations that
were hanging everywhere. I spotted Hayley shortly after we entered the gym. She looked incredible.
My heart began to flutter as she approached us. She happily greeted us and told Candace that her
gold sheath dress looked amazing. Candace returned the favor by telling her that her blue bodycon
dress perfectly accentuated her curves. I felt left out by the dress talk, but I was thankful that there
wasn't any weirdness considering both of them asked me to the dance. I wondered if Candace even
knew that Hayley had asked me. Hayley didn't seem to be upset about Candace asking me.
She informed us that she didn't come with a date. Her and a group of friends came together. Hayley
joked that she may have to steal me away for a dance, but Candace's face didn't show that she was
too thrilled about that idea. I spotted Carley entering with Jeremy as Hayley went back to her
friends. She had her blonde hair curled and was wearing a red dress. Any guy here would've been
honored to bring her here. She looked great, but Jeremy didn't look too happy to be here. My
heart raced as the music began to play. Candace and I made our way into the sea of people. I
swayed awkwardly by Candace as she danced. She really had some moves, but I obviously did not.
I was thankful when the song switched and Hayley and Carley grabbed Candace and pulled her over
to a group of other cheerleaders in order to perform a routine. I was relieved and saw this as an
opportunity to grab some snacks. Candace found me as a slow song came on. We eased our way
onto the dance floor and found our way to an empty space. I slowly put my shaking hands on her
hips and she put her arms around my shoulders, keeping a careful distance between each other. It
was kind of nice to just relax and sway with her. I knew I wasn't graceful, but she didn't complain. At
least I haven't stepped on her toes.
Much of the night continued the same. I never developed any impressive dance moves, but I was
thankful that Candace admired my effort. I attempted to joke around so she wouldn't get bored with
me, and it appeared to be working. Hayley eventually came and stole me away for a slow dance.
Candace seemed to reluctantly agree. Hayley moved much closer to me while we were dancing.
She pressed her body against me and laid her head on me. It felt nice to hold someone that
close again. Leah was the only person that I've ever held this close. I wondered if Candace was
watching us. I hope that this doesn't send the wrong message, but I realized that we probably look
like a couple dancing together. Hayley gave me a longing gaze when the song was over. It felt like
she was trying to tell me something with her eyes, but I couldn't figure it out. I finished the night with
a final dance with Candace. Carley and Jeremy left early. They appeared to be fighting.
Candace and I laughed most of the way to her house. Adrenaline seemed to be rushing through me
due to the fact that I made it through the dance. Candace seemed to have a good time. I walked her
to her door once we got to her house. She stopped in the light drizzle right before we got to her
porch. "We might trip the porch light if we go further. I don't want to wake anyone yet. I just wanted to
thank you again for going with me. I know it wasn't easy for you, but I had such a good time." She
assured me as she embraced me in a tight hug. I held onto her for a while until she let go.
"I had a good time with you as well. I'm actually glad that I went. We should hang out again sometime...
you know... without doing homework."
"I guess I can make an exception on homework for once." She joked.
"You know it'll be fun not having to force me to finish my work."
She shot me an eye roll.
"Well, we're sort of getting wet...I guess I better go in. Thanks again."
"Goodnight." I said as I gave her one last hug.
"Text me when you get home. I'll still be awake." She assured me as she let go.
She stared into my eyes as we let go. It was a similar look that Hayley gave me earlier tonight. I still
couldn't decipher it. She swiftly leaned her lips into mine. It caught me off guard, but it felt nice. It
was my first kiss. She pulled away before I could decide to kiss her back or not. It all happened so
fast that I didn't really know what to do.
"I'm so sorry. I completely read the situation wrong. Please, just forget this ever happened." She
pleaded as she darted towards her house.
"Candace... wait..." Her shutting door interrupted my sentence.
I felt guilty that she stormed off like that. Maybe I should've just kissed her back. It's all so
confusing. I thought she just liked me as a friend and I'm still hurt over Leah. Maybe I could get over
her if I would attempt to move on. Kissing her back could've been a step towards that. I'm not sure
what I'm supposed to feel. I decided to text Candace as soon as I got home.
I made it home. Don't feel bad about the kiss. It actually felt nice. I'm sorry I didn't kiss you back. It
happened so fast... it was just confusing. We can drop it if you'd like.
I reread through the message and pressed send. She responded a few minutes later.
Please don't mention this to anyone. I can't hurt my friendship with Hayley and Carley. I would like to
still hang out though.
I read her message and instantly responded as I could feel my eyes getting tired.
I would like to hang out as well. Why would it hurt your friendship with them?
I quickly pressed send after rereading my message.
I can't tell you why. I promised each of them that I would keep it a secret. I'll text you tomorrow.
Goodnight.
I was finding it hard to sleep as I laid my phone by my bed. Why would Candace kissing me ruin her
friendship with Hayley and Carley? There is no way that they like me. What secrets is she keeping?