Phœnix Burning, Chapter 26
"Do you know where they are?" Ron asked at last, as the silence was threatening to grow still more awkward.
"The snake Nagini is always with the Dark Lord- he almost cared for her in his twisted way, if only because she is part of his soul. We can probably get her on a raid, or perhaps if he sends her out on a mission.
"The locker was, I believe, stolen from it's hiding place, as Regulus was nearly killed by the inferi guarding it, eventually to be destroyed by the Dark Lord himself when he came to see who was tampering with the defenses- I was there when he was...executed." Snape swallowed hard. "As for the locket, I saw it in Grimmauld Place; it should still be there unless that bastard Mundungus- excuse my language- pocketed it along with the other things he keeps trying to steal.
"Hufflepuff's cup is probably going to be the hardest to get- up to and including the yet-unknown one- since according to Bellatrix it is in her private vault, if she was telling the truth. And considering how intoxicated she was, I am rather inclined to believe her."
"So we've already got the ring, the scar, and the diary, and we have to find a locket, a chalice, and a pet snake, along with some unidentified Founders' object hidden in Hogwarts?" Hermione recapped.
"Yes," was Snape's reply.
"So how are we going to get these things?" Ron asked.
Hermione paused to scribble a little more in her notebook. "And what's fiendfyre?"
"Fiendfyre is cursed fire which can destroy pretty much anything," Snape replied, "And the snake, as I have said before, will have to be snatched on a raid. The house elves can probably be enlisted to find the Founders' object; they know everything that goes on in the castle and they'll likely be willing to help. The locket, if it is not still at Grimmauld, will be a bit difficult, but I can probably threaten Dung or talk to a few contacts in Knock Turn Alley to get it back. The chalice will likely be the hardest."
"But we can still get it, right?" Ron asked hesitantly.
"Yes. Probably. If Black were still alive, he could just use Power of Attorney over her vaults- it is after all, in her own personal familial vault- and just take it. As it is, since he left his old will, which states that Potter is heir if the list of people he named previously were dead, Potter would have to wait until he is seventeen to be able to do the same, so that is out. And we're not breaking into Gringotts."
"Wait, hold on!" Harry exclaimed. "I'm Sirius's heir?"
Snape frowned. "You were never told? Albus said that you did not want to assume your duties because the mutt's death was too fresh, and he's been handling your duties and proxies on the Wizengamot and such."
Harry stared at him. "He what? I never even knew there was a will, especially not one making me the Black heir. And Dumbledore never told me anything about duties, except the fact that I have to kill Voldie or die trying."
Snape pinched his nose, and Harry had the unnerving privilege of being momentarily sucked into his mind before he managed to implement his new method of occlusion. "Right. Albus would do something like that. Probably wanted you to "enjoy your childhood" or some such rubbish. I did wonder why you were not at the reading..."
"What reading?"
"The will reading. I was required to be there." He sighed. "My bequest turned my robes into red and gold drag for a week- it would seem Black wanted to get one last prank in." He paused. "I had to request a portkey out of Gringotts."
All three Gryffindors couldn't help laughing, even though Snape scowled at them for it. Hermione at least tried to hide it.
"But it is disturbing that Albus never even mentioned the will to you," he continued, after they had sobered a little. "I wonder what else he "forgot" to mention."
Hermione turned the page of her notebook, evidently wanting to make a note. "But Professor Dumbledore aside, how are we going to get that chalice?" she continued after she had stopped writing.
"Well, there is a possibility that the goblins would give it to us- for the right price," Ron said, shocking all of them. "Bill- he's a Gringotts curse-breaker- says that there are some treaties that actually cancel client confidentiality. Of someone suspects someone of having really dark artifacts in their vault- like, dark with a capital "D" stuff, the goblins can authorize a search. If there isn't actually a really dark artifact in the vault, or something unrelated to the search turns up missing after they've let you in to search, then you have to pay a serious fine for breaching privacy and making them go to all that trouble."
"Do you know if a horcrux counts as one of those super-dark artifacts? I mean, they might have different rules..." Hermione said.
Snape shook his head. "It was forbidden even to say the word 'horcrux' in goblin territory. They're very sore about the subject since 1495, when Scarth Bluetooth was possessed by the horcrux of a wizard named Harold Toth. Sparked the Third Goblin War."
"Whoa, how did you know that?! Sir," Ron added after a pause.
"I actually listened in History. Shocking, I know, but I actually grew so bored playing naughts and crosses with Wilkes and Rosier that I actually began paying attention."
Harry snorted, and the other two stared, unused to seeing this side of their fearsome teacher. Ron in particular looked like his entire worldview- Slytherins are evil or at least just nasty gits- had been turned on its head.
"So there's a chance we could just get the goblins to hand it over? To us, and not the aurors?"
"They wouldn't give it to the aurors unless the ministry forced them," Snape responded. "And since the ministry doesn't even know that he has horcruxes, except maybe the Department of Mysteries..."
"But...maybe...shouldn't we involve the aurors? I mean, the ministry could help..." Hermione shrunk under the looks that the others were giving her.
"Do ministry and help ever fit together in the same sentence?" Harry asked. "They would either deny it or start panicking and making everyone else panic, intentionally or not, with the possible exception of the Department of Mysteries which probably does know, but is more focussed on trying to rebuild all the timeturners we smashed last year."
"...The timeturners you smashed?" Snape said after a moment. "When did that happen?"
"It was at the DOM last year- we managed to totally destroy the Time Room on our way to the Hall of Prophecy since we were being chased by Death Eaters."
Snape shook his head in a manner that one might almost call "fond" of one didn't know that Severus Snape didn't do fond. "We will discuss your tendencies for excessive rule-breaking and accidents which could potentially cause the world as we know it to ceise to exist another time." He said at last. "For now, we have to plan the takedown of my old boss, and then you have homework."
"I don't," said Hermione smugly, as the two boys groaned. "So can I help you hunt horcruxes?"
"You can help search for the one in Hogwarts, as I am not allowed to take you off the grounds without written permission from both the headmaster and your parents. I will, meanwhile, attempt to locate the locket and negotiate with the goblins. The snake will have to wait. Now go- I assume you have planned for a suitable excuse?"
"Fred and George are distracting everyone who asked, and I got Neville and Seamus to say Harry wasn't feeling well and 'Mione and I had a date for snogging in a closet." Ron flinched as Hermione fixed a steely gaze on him.
"You never told me that?!"
"I needed something believable and something they wouldn't question," Ron protested, looking a little scared. "I couldn't just say, 'Oh, we're having tea and biscuits with the head of Slytherin house, now, could I?"
"You could have told me you were going to use me as an excuse!" she retorted, and both boys edged a little farther away. Professor Snape's lips were twitching with amusement.
"I'm sorry, 'Mione, I didn't think!"
"No, you didn't," she agreed. "I think now you ought to be punished."
Harry edged farther away, blushing furiously, and Professor Snape banished the tea tray. Hermione and Ron were still staring at each other. That was until Professor Snape cleared his throat, and they both broke eye contact, turning an identical red, as if they had been drenched in paint.
"I do believe that dinner is in twenty minutes, and I doubt you'd want to miss it."
As if on cue, Ron's stomach growled. "Um, yeah, absolutely," he said, hastily composing himself. "Yeah. We should probably go." He was still looking at Hermione.
"Thanks for the tea, professor," Hermione said pointedly, shoving her quill and notebook into her bag.
"Yeah, uh, thanks," Ron repeated, looking, for once, too flustered to hurry to dinner. Harry grinned at the backs of the two of them and thanked Snape as well, before following them out the door.
"Ron, we're not done," was all Hermione said as they left Professor Snape's rooms.
Whoa, that one just wrote itself! I hope you enjoy. Also, the poll is going down before the next chapter, so if you want a last minute vote, you gotta do it now. :) If you can't find it but you still want to vote, the question was: who would you rather have kill Voldemort: Harry or Snape, so just leave a review or PM me. Actually, review anyway if you like it; I live on reviews! Also, I am probably sticking with the canon pairing for Ron and Hermione, but if you want to see a different ship for Harry, let me know!