BPOV

With my head resting against Edward's chest, I closed my eyes and focused on the rhythm that thrummed against my ear. It had started as a fast cadence and then slowly came to constant thump, thump, thump the longer we sat still.

The feel of him, of us together, was the first time in so very long that I had felt grounded to anything around me. I didn't feel scared or out of place. There wasn't an awkwardness, or a need to be shy, because he was so familiar. We were familiar.

There were questions, hundreds of them, flipping like a slideshow through the back of my mind but I tried my best to ignore them. I didn't want to acknowledge the doubt that was trying to creep to the forefront. I didn't want to think about the details of how all of this would play out down the road because the feeling of just being with Edward left me in a quiet calm.

Did I have to have all the answers? Did I have to keep myself from accepting the one thing that made me happy? Did I have to keep pushing him away? Did I have to keep running? The answer to every single one of those questions was no. It was okay to just be here with him. It was ok to let my guard down.

At this moment, with our breathing synchronized, I whispered into the darkness, "Stay?"

It was a childlike request, and for a quick second I worried Edward would think I was being ridiculous, but when he leaned his head back and asked me to repeat what I'd said- I knew it was an irrational fear. Edward wanted me. He wanted us. This wasn't one sided. It was okay for me to be vulnerable and admit that I needed him.

"Stay." I said louder. It wasn't a question this time.

He knew, like he always did, exactly what I was saying without the words having to be spoken.

Stay because I'm not ready to let go yet.

Stay because for the first time in a long time I don't want to run away.

Stay so I can feel safe.

Stay because…well, simply put, because I need you beside me.

XXXX

When my mind started to slowly work its way out of the fog of sleep I absently noted that it was still dark in my room other than the dim light from downstairs that spilled in through the open door. It was still raining and I was still wrapped in the tight embrace of Edward's arms. His face was buried in the back of my hair and his chest flush against my back. His breathing was deep and every exhale came out as a gentle sigh against my shoulder.

What did he look like when he slept? Was it still the same as it had been before? Slowly, and being very careful to not disturb him, I turned to my other side so I could see him- thankful that we hadn't bothered to turn the lights off downstairs. I smiled when I was able to see his face because he looked no different than I had remembered.

Of course both of us had changed physically- age would do that- but even though our faces might be a little fuller, and parts of our bodies had a few extra pounds added, that didn't alter the way Edward looked in his sleep. His lips formed a small pout and his eyelashes, ridiculously long for a boy, looked like feathers against his skin.

Don't. You'll wake him up.

Ignoring my own demand my fingers inched forward so I could touch his face. First, I gently traced his cheek bone, and then the bridge of his nose. When I reached his lips I saw his eyelids flutter open. For a second he looked disoriented but he quickly focused on me. He watched and didn't object to my fingers tracing over his face. When they eventually pushed his hair off his forehead, he smiled.

"Can't sleep?" Edward asked in a horse whisper.

Oddly enough I didn't feel tired. It felt like whatever sleep I'd had before was enough to leave me fully awake and alert. "Just didn't want to miss… this."

He leaned his head forward, resting against mine, before leaving a gentle kiss against my lips.

I could tell he was tired, and I didn't fault him for it, but it just felt wrong to sleep right now. Hadn't we wasted enough time? I wanted to focus on every single detail about this moment. I wanted to feel him, smell him, and taste him. Letting him go back to sleep would have been the polite thing to do but instead I leaned into him, deepening the kiss he'd started.

If Edward was upset about me waking him he didn't say anything. Instead he complied when I rolled him onto his back and straddled his lap. His hands traveled up thighs before settling on my hips.

Our encounter on the stairs had been slow and sultry. It was like our bodies had been rediscovering each other and every move, or touch, was deliberate. There was a reverence to how each of us had reconnected to the other. Now there was a sense of urgency.

Edward, fully awake, guided my body- lowering me down to him before rising back up- until we'd set the perfect tempo. Then, leaving one hand on my hip, let the other one travel up over my stomach. He slid his hand between my breast and around my neck. His thumb slid along my jaw.

I turned my head into his palm, kissing it gently before leaning down over him.

My hair fell around our faces, making a dark curtain that blocked what little light was shining. I wanted to move it, so I could see his face, but I knew Edward had a thing about my hair. It wasn't seconds later that he had both hands buried in the long strands so he could pull my closer to him.

He sat up, moving me with him, and I quickly broke our kiss so I could let a deep moan escape from my chest. The movement had let him hit deeper. Edward grinned at the sound I made and gently pulled at my hair. When my head was leaned back, and his lips were attached to my neck, he released my hair.

They slowly moved down my back to once again grab my hips. He rose to his knees, laying me back against the foot of bed, and our movements became feverish and desperate. I could feel the urgency building and coiling like a spring between us.

I reached behind me, pulling at the footboard, while begging him for more.

Edward's movements never faltered- they were just a furious motion that rolled through him over and over until both of us were nothing but sweaty limbs, slippery hands, echoing moans, and eventually panting, grateful, breaths.

We laid side by side silently recovering. My head, resting on his arm, swam with a mixture of bliss and apprehension. Was he also fighting back an onslaught of questions that kept trying to overtake the serene acceptance?

What would we do? Where would we go? How would this work?

"Bell?"

I leaned my head back to try and look at him but could only see his chin. "Yeah?"

"Was… there ever anybody else?"

Of all the questions I thought he might have I didn't expect that to be one of them.

"Yes," I answered honestly.

I felt his chest rise with a deep inhale. It came out slowly through his nose.

"Was he good for you?"

"Yes," I admitted- not only to him but myself. "For a while he was good for me."

I'd thought very little of Jacob since I'd left to come back to Forks. I'd broken up with him before I left for the airport and planned on letting that door stay shut until I got back home. Now, after this, it would need to stay shut forever.

"What happened?"

I thought for a moment before answering. "Life happened."

Thankfully Edward accepted my answer without pushing for more details and we fell back into a comfortable silence.

"Was Lauren good for you?" I debated on asking but figured if he was curious then I could be as well.

A short laugh erupted from Edward's mouth. "Hell no."

I sat up, leaning back on my elbows, and looked at him. "Then why?"

He folded his arms under his head before giving me a sad smile. "Honestly?"

I nodded before sitting all the way up. Pulling the sheet over my chest, I fully turned around so I was facing him and crossed my legs underneath me.

"Because I was mad at you," he softly admitted. "She wasn't here enough for it to be a full on relationship but it was… enough."

I wanted to ask what enough meant but I knew the answer would probably upset me.

"So, tonight?"

"I didn't know you were coming and I didn't know Lauren would be there. But I knew it had hurt when you saw us." He moved one hand from under his head and let it rest on my thigh. "Initially I think I went after you just to make sure you were okay but then…" He grinned. "That jealously…"

I rolled my eyes while taking his fingers between mine.

Edward became serious again. "I knew that if you cared enough to be jealous then it wasn't a lost cause."

"You were right," I conceded. "I was jealous. And it wasn't just because it was Lauren. It was… ever since that day at your house, the last time we really talked to each other, I could feel myself becoming more and more upset with myself. I deserved the anger and the silence. I didn't want to hurt you but…"

Edward sat up and carefully wiped away the tears that managed to escape. "Hey, don't. Okay? We don't have to do this… it doesn't matter right now."

"I'm sorry I hurt you, Edward. I am… If I could take it back and change what I did-"

"Bella." He had my head held between this hands, carefully making me look at him. "Remember what I said tonight? The past doesn't matter. It happened and we can't change it."

I nodded and leaned into him- wrapping my arms around his sides. My face rested against his neck and I took deep, calming breaths, of his scent.

Edward kissed the side of my head before slowly running his fingers over my naked back.

"I love you," I said against his skin.

I could feel him smile against my hair. "I love you, too."

XXX

We slept through the rest of the morning and on into the early afternoon. This time when I woke up we were surrounded by a bright light that fell through the floor to ceiling windows. I looked around, confused for a second when I realized we were asleep at the foot of the bed, but then smiled at the memory of how we'd ended up that way. The sheets were tangled around us and there were no pillows in sight.

When Edward noticed that I was awake, he grinned- looking like a much younger version of himself. "Good morning."

I rolled to my side, curling myself around his body, before pushing my face against his neck. I took a deep breath and smiled against his skin. "I think you mean afternoon."

Neither of us were huge breakfast eaters but coffee on the other hand- it was a requirement. So even if the idea of lying in bed all day, with a naked Edward, sounded like a fantastic way to spend a Saturday we both found our way out of bed within a few minutes.

Edward, wearing his crumped clothes from yesterday, was looking around for his keys when I'd managed to make my way downstairs after throwing on the most comfortable clothes I'd brought with me.

"Are you leaving?" I asked, probably sound a little alarmed.

He found his keys, triumphantly gave them a jingle, and then answered me. "I'm taking you to get coffee."

I pointed to the kitchen as I came down off of the last step. "But we have-"

"Oh, please," He opened the front door and waited for me to exit first. "Real coffee."

In the light of day, I'd worried that it would be awkward or hesitant between us but Edward was actually acting as if he was giddy. He was all smiles and laughter while his hands never left my body. He was either holding my hand, my thigh, touching my hair, or resting his hand on the small of my back.

He'd taken me to a coffee shop that I didn't even know existed. It had a deck that overlooked a small creek that ran through the western part of town. It was quiet, given that it was now early afternoon, and we were the only two people sitting outside in the Adirondack chairs.

I leaned my elbow on the armrest before resting my face against my palm and letting the ray of light, which had escaped between the trees, fall against my skin. It felt so nice.

"Do you miss Arizona?"

Edward's question made me open my eyes but I stayed in the sunlight. "I miss parts of it."

"I've never been there."

"Imagine the complete opposite of this." I waved my hand around. "Hot, vast, desert. You can see for miles and there is so much sunshine."

"Do you like it better than Forks?"

I sighed, not wanting my answer to upset him. "I like it better than Forks but not as much as Seattle."

He grinned now. "Ah, Seattle."

"Do you miss it?" This time I got to ask him a question.

"Absolutely." He said with certainty. "I would have moved back if it wasn't for Hope House. And Peter and Charlotte."

"You know," I took my coffee and leaned back in my chair. "I've wondered what kind of an uncle you are. I bet you spoil them rotten and then take them back to Alice and Jasper with zero regrets."

"That is one hundred percent accurate." He boasted proudly. "But she'll do the same thing when I have kids."

My stomach squirmed a little at his statement but I made sure to keep my face neutral. There was no point in bringing that topic up- especially today.

"Once a month they'll come to my house and spend the night. We order pizza, they get to pick a movie, and then stay up late. I give them all the sugar they want and then send them home the next day. Alice can pretend she hates it but I know it is all an act."

"Bad influence," I muttered playfully.

"They love you."

I had to laugh. "What?"

They'd only met me a handful of times.

Edward nodded. "They love you- especially Peter. He is constantly asking Alice when you're going to be at their house. I think he has a crush."

I leaned my head back against the chair, smiling, and reached for Edward's hand. "I'll have to let him down easy."

He leaned across his chair, aiming for my lips, and grinned after kissing me.

The rest of the day was spent in a similar fashion- low key, alone, and filled with questions and answers. It was like, although we'd known each other since we were three, we were becoming reacquainted. We avoided any serious discussions although we both knew that it would have to take place sooner or later. But we weren't in a hurry to leave the euphoric bubble we'd been in since last night.

Surprisingly, the longer I stayed with Edward, the easier it was to put the questions and concerns on hold. They didn't seem so urgent, or overly complicated, when he was standing so close to me. I didn't feel the need to make a decision, or ask for one, when his arms held me against him. He made it so easy to just focus on what was in the immediate future.

And right now my immediate future was this- just the two us. We were sprawled out on his couch, music playing in the background, and empty takeout cartons littered his coffee table. Edward was reading a book while I drifted in and out of sleep with my head resting against his leg.

"Hey."

I kept my eyes closed but responded with a, "Hmm?"

Edward's fingers were slowly running through my hair and when they stopped I opened one eye to look up at him.

"Stay."

Smiling, I reached up to touch his cheek. "Tonight?"

Edward leaned down and gently kissed my eyelids. "Forever."