THE END

Jacob

THREE MONTHS LATER

– Italy –

I was running feely through these golden corn fields. Fast and athletic, hopeful. The sun was beaming down on my face, the crops whipping past my body as I cut through them. Eventually I found myself at the edge of a lake. I stood looking at the water, the sun reflecting off of it to create reflections of the moving clouds. I was content and peaceful.

Suddenly we shifted and I was back in our cabin, no longer in Renesmee's memory, I was now looking at her, my face was in her hands, her eyes were watery."I don't want to talk anymore, I don't want you to tell me anymore, I just want you to show me." She said heavily. I swallowed at the weight of her words. Heat started rushing through me again. She lifted my chin and stood on her toes to bring her face level with mine, then as softly as a whisper, she kissed me once, gently on the lips and my decision was made.

"O.k." I gave in.

I jolted my head back from her quickly before she could see any further, pulling us both out. We both fell back slightly onto the grass. We were sitting by that same lake I had just seen in her memory. She had been wanting to show me how her abilities were growing and I suggested her showing me how she had stumbled upon this place. It was beautiful and private, we had been stopping at the lake every time I had visited, which had been every two or three weeks. A new special spot of ours. This was the first time I had visited her by myself, her family had all been tied up in various nonsensical plans and obligations, resulting in them getting a flight a few days later. The last time we were there together was just over a month ago, it was the longest we'd ever been apart.

I was breathing heavily, still feeling that small kiss on my lips. "Wow" I gasped. "You're getting really good at that."

"I know right!" She beamed.

"Yeah, like almost too good. I like what you did there where you switched from your memories to mine, it almost felt like I didn't have control over what you were seeing." I commented suspiciously.

"Sorry I was experimenting. I can control it so much better now, so that my thoughts don't wonder. I'm starting to be able to control what I take, rather than just seeing memories from what someone is focusing on at the moment of touch, I can sift through their mind and see other things." She informed me, proud of her budding abilities. "Jane says eventually people won't be able to block me."

"Annnddd this is where I'm out." I informed her pulling my head as far away from her as possible. "You'll need to start practicing on some other poor soul from this point." There was no way I was letting her sift through my version of events.

There was a new sense of power to her. She had been spending a lot of time with Jane and Alec. Who may be 'very experienced and knowledgeable mentors' as Renesmee would put it but they were also very ruthless and powerful. "Fair enough" she agreed smugly. "Or I'll just practice while you're asleep." She teased.

I panicked at the thought of what she was capable of and what she might see if she dared to look. "I'll never sleep again." I stated flatly and she laughed easily, laying back onto the grass.

"I swear to use my powers only for good not evil." She promised as if reading my mind, I prayed she hadn't also inherited anything from Edward.

"And in waking hours." I added urgently.

"Sure." She gave me dangerously.

I laid back next to her on the grass but making sure to leave a gap between us. We had both been walking on eggshells when it came to physical contact since I left her there three months ago. It was all smiles and polite embraces. Strictly platonic. Now my mind drifted back to the memory of that night in the cabin, the memory we had both just revisited.

"I wasn't purposely thinking about that night by the way." I tried to explain. "It's just in there you know and then because you were touching me…it kind of shuffles further forward."

She beamed at me with this bright, mischievous smile. She was so different again already. There was no hint of that pubescent school girl from a few months ago. She was now fully grown and glowing with maturity and…well sexiness. Before she was always beautiful to me, she seemed younger and innocent and I felt like her guidance counselor trying to steer her in the right direction all the time and make decisions for the both of us. But just within a few months of her being in Italy she was now grown and adult. I hated to admit it but the Volturi had done her a lot of good, they had given her the space, freedom and mentoring they had promised and now she was glowing with confidence and independence. I finally felt like we were on equal footing; she was no longer childlike in anyway but instead very womanly and hot. Very hot. I swallowed hard, trying to keep my mind out the gutter.

She gave me a teasing wink and I rolled my eyes suddenly feeling like the fool for being embarrassed. "Shut up." I shot dismissively not being able to contain my own devilish grin.

"We haven't really talked about it since…" Since three months ago. Since I first left her in Italy. No not at all. We hadn't really talked about anything from before to be honest. When I visited we talked about what we'd been doing since we last saw each other, about her family, about the Volturi. What new food she'd tried or Italian word she'd learnt. I was giving her space to heal and process and she never brought any of it up. It had given us a chance to become friends again, proper friends, we talked about other things besides us. We talked about things she was learning, books she was reading, we talked about the pack, how I'd spent more time with them than I had in years, the fun we'd had, the trouble we'd get into, my favorite films and where we wanted to travel. We got on again, we didn't lie, we didn't fight; we just talked and laughed. I felt closer to her than ever, though I still didn't know what was going on in her mind or where I stood.

"No well, it hasn't really come up." I shrugged as if it wasn't a massive deal.

"I don't regret it." She spoke openly. "I've thought about it a lot and I want you to know it wasn't a lie. I know my intentions weren't exactly honest at the time…"

"Not exactly." I agreed putting it lightly.

"But once we started…" My heart was pounding, I knew she could hear it, like I could hear her lip quivering slightly. "I wasn't thinking of anyone else." She stated simply.

"Good." I managed.

"And just because it wasn't my first…" Our eyes refused to meet. "Doesn't mean it wasn't important." She swore to me.

I'd had plenty of time to come to terms with the chaos of events, I'd vented my feelings and said my piece to Alice and Bella and anyone else who would listen. I had made peace with it. So I had missed a few of her firsts but I'd already had a lot of them and there were still a million of other firsts to come that I could be a part of. "It was our first." I justified. Then suddenly became aware that might imply it wouldn't be our last. I had now become the flustered teen. I took an exasperated breath as if I couldn't cope with the heat.

She suppressed a laugh and changed the subject "How was the flight?"

I had only arrived that morning, "Same as usual. Hot, cramped, noisy. Never thought I'd have so many frequent flyer miles." I replied quickly, I didn't want to move on just yet. "I checked in on James by the way." She looked up in surprise. I hadn't known when to bring it up but now seemed as good a time as any. Her face suddenly crumpled with worry. "Don't worry he didn't see me. I just, you know, I could tell Esme needed some closure so, I lingered in the background of the school carpark like a stalker." I could see her drifting away with her thoughts as I spoke. "I don't know why I'm bringing this up, I guess I'm self-destructive that way but… I thought you might want to know he's okay. He seems to have some good friends around him so…"

"Yeah he does." She smiled sadly to herself.

"Sorry I forget they were your friends too." Not helping Jake.

"That's okay." She perked up. "I've outgrown school now anyway." Which I took as outgrown them, those people. James hopefully. It was true, she definitely wouldn't fit in at school now.

"He was laughing." I added as a last attempt, remembering James folding over with laughter at a friend of his who was doing a silly dance move, another friend, a girl, then pulling some books from his arms and impatiently walking on ahead, him running to catch up with her still laughing to himself.

Her pensive gaze turned into a secret affectionate smile. The thought of him happy made her happy. It helped. That's what I had hoped. "Thank you." She said gratefully, I worried the mention of him would make her heavy, before there would always be this weight when he was mentioned but she seemed light still, bubbly.

"Since we're on the subject, I need to talk about before." I admitted cautiously, not wanting to upset her but seeing an opportunity to put things finally to rest.

"Okay." She permitted, not seeming as reluctant as I'd assumed.

"I get why you liked James." I started, "I mean I liked James, Edward even liked James for god sake; his fan club was thriving." I joked and she laughed slightly. "But the baby…" I tread lightly sensing the sensitivity of the subject. "I don't get why you wanted the baby?"

She signed deeply as if it was opening up a can of worms. She sat up and crossed her legs and I joined her, moving opposite, our knees touching. "All of it; school, my friends there, James, what we did together, the baby… It was all in pursuit of feeling normal. The downside of being so 'special and unique' is feeling constantly isolated and lonely." She explained openly. "I feel too human to be a vampire, I don't have frozen supermodel appearances and effortless precision in everything I do. I'm too vampire to fit in with werewolves, and as much time as I spend with you all at LaPush, I'll never feel part of the pack but when I was with James I felt like a human. I could blend in at school and I didn't stand out, I didn't feel special. I felt normal for the first time in my life. I wanted to belong somewhere and be like everyone else and all this stuff about imprints and the Volturi just pushed me further towards needing a normal teenage existence."

"Yeah, I can imagine me dropping the imprint bombshell on you at that point was a lot to take." I sympathized.

"Yeah you could say that. Imagine this: Alice approaches you tomorrow and tells you that there's been a terrible mix up and she is actually your true imprint and that she's been in love with you all along. You're going to only be with Alice from this point on, build a life with her, marry her and all this is already decided and expected and it's pretty much inevitable. There is no need for your input. You like Alice right?"

"When she's not talking." I jested, which was met with impatience. "Yes I like Alice." I confirmed.

"Right because she's your close friend, you're like family. Then suddenly SURPRISE actually she's your soul mate and she's in love with you. How do you feel?"

"Bummed she's already married." I suggested uncooperatively.

"Jacob." Renesmee pressed.

"Okay yes I get the idea. It's weird."

"Weird, mind blowing, confusing and the most complicated part is you thought you liked someone else, me, you thought I was in your future but no it's Alice and you need to cut off all feelings for me, like right now and redirect them to your future with Alice. You need to end things with me even though you still feel the same and your hearts just not in it. But you love Alice, she's Alice and how can you let her down, hurt her if she's expecting you to be the one?"

I considered this. That would be pretty much the worst thing ever. "Okay, okay. I'm hearing you. That would be…pretty impossible." I empathised.

She dropped the silly anecdote and became thoughtful again. I waited for her to continue knowing there was more to say. "Imagine how every teenager feels out of place and now imagine being literally the only person on the planet like you. There's a large part of me that's human, who hated the idea of standing out and being…well a freak." She closed her eyes, the complexity of teenagehood was definitely something I didn't want to live through again. "The baby was just a desperate last attempt to hold on to my own vison; of a human existence. I mean what's more normal than being a mother, raising a baby with an ordinary guy, a simple life…." She trailed off.

A feeling of dread started to rise up within me. If the one thing she really wanted was a normal existence, I knew that was something I could never give her. She almost read my mind and smiled at me reassuringly. She continued with a new sense of happiness and revelation. "But, over the last few months the Voltrui have helped me to appreciate my individuality and accept my fate. Aro nearly killed me when I confessed that all I wanted was to be normal. He made me realise how stupid that was. I'm never going to be normal and look how much damage I caused trying to pretend to be. I am unique and that's more than okay. I have made peace with myself." She bowed dramatically, like she was at a yoga retreat. I laughed at her playfulness. "Instead of focusing on the negative aspects of always being different, I need to focus on the things that make me amazing. Like no I won't ever be as attractive as my parents but I get to be fast and strong and still enjoy the taste of a burger and fries, I get to sleep and dream, when I run I get to hear my blood pumping around my body. And no I won't be able to ever get drunk and feel the confidence to dance like crazy at a house party but I also won't ever look old or worry about mortality or have to work a 9-5 job. I get the best of everything." She declared with an empowered grin. I grinned back at her, glad to see her happy in herself again. Also feeling slightly guilty I hadn't realized she felt so bad about herself in the first place.

She refocused her attention back on us, "and the imprint may not be the same for us as if I were fully human." She concluded carefully. "But maybe it will be better." She smiled hopefully, expectantly. It was definitely different, that was for sure. I will admit the time apart was way easier than I had expected. The pack couldn't believe how I was functioning with her so far away but I was. I even managed to enjoy myself occasionally but she was always at the back of my mind and I still couldn't imagine myself feeling things for anyone else. She was it for me, this time had only made me more sure of that.

Maybe she could sense I was thinking about her. Her eyes were now piercing into mine, this time neither of us could look away. It seemed like she wanted to say something but she was holding back.

I braced myself for the worst. "What?" I nudged her with my knee.

She shook her head dismissively, almost on the verge of tears now. "Nothing." Though it wasn't nothing it was something.

I pulled her knees towards me so that her legs were now resting in mine, our bodies overlapping. It was the closest we'd been in months. Our faces were close together. I was no longer worried about overwhelming her or getting too close for comfort, I knew she could take it. "Hey, I've got no mind powers here, you're going to have to talk." I pushed gently. "Truth remember." I teased.

She gave in and opened up, her feelings rushing out all at once. "I missed you." She admitted her face smiling but her eyes filling with tears. "I missed you so much."

All of my body relaxed with relief, I moved my forehead to rest against hers and let out a breath that I felt I had been holding forever. "Oh thank god."

"A lot." She added trying to emphasis just how much.

My smile was painfully wide, I pulled back slightly to gaze at her. "It's weird I didn't miss you that much." I teased.

"Oh really?" She grinned.

"Yeah it's strange, you'd think it would be harder but…it's given me a chance to clear my head. I don't think imprints have ever spent this much time apart, I don't think they've ever been as stubborn as you. But it's been a real time of self-discovery on my part." I jested.

"I told you it would be." She reminded me, not really joking.

"I mean I don't necessarily want to do it again, ever. But it was a good experience, like sky diving or swimming with sharks. One of those thrills you only need to live through once so you can say you've done it." I explained as she chuckled to herself in amusement.

"We've never been apart that long." She stated as if I didn't already know.

"Really? I hadn't noticed."

She laughed at my ridiculousness. "It felt… wrong. I just really really missed you. I missed talking to you and your jokes and your face…"

"I missed your face!" I chimed in as if it was an extraordinary coincidence.

She was crying now, tears falling freely down her cheeks. I brushed them away with my hands. "I want to say sorry but I can't figure out what I'm apologizing for…I don't even know where to start." I had never seen her like this over us, I had never seen her feeling so much towards me in this way. She had really missed me, like I had missed her. The separation had hurt her like it had hurt me. For the first time I saw my feelings reflected back at me. It was everything.

"It's okay." I rushed to console her.

"It's not okay. Everything was such a mess. I made such a mess. I'm so sorry that I hurt you so badly. I'm sorry for the lies." She sobbed. "I think back on it all and I don't even recognize myself. I don't recognize us. I can't believe I did those things to you. It felt like at the time I didn't have a choice. I felt trapped and miserable. I was miserable. I'm sorry for hurting you."

I pulled her into me, hugging her tightly. It felt different again, like I was hugging this version of her for the first time. "It's okay. I'm still here and it's all behind us." I convinced us both. "I'm sorry too."

She pulled back from me and started wiping her face, laughing at herself for being emotional. "Sorry I just…missed you." She concluded as if that pretty much summed everything up. And it did. Our faces were so close together and it felt like there was an electric static surging between us, a new energy that had never been there before. I wanted to close the gap but I had promised her I would give her space and let her come to me. It needed to be from her, she needed to feel it for herself this time, I wouldn't push her.

Just becuase i couldn't kiss her didn't mean I wouldn't express my feelings though, I was overcome with urgency and wanted to take action. "Come back with me." I announced but she looked up and pulled back slightly as if this wasn't what she had in mind. "Unless you're not ready to come home?" I back-tracked, trying to hide my disappointment.

"I'm not." She apologized. "I'm not going back to forks yet. I can't, it's still too soon and I'm enjoying myself. I'm feeling independent for the first time in my life. I feel completely free right now." She exclaimed happily.

I was happy for her but devastated at facing another stint apart. "Okay, well I'm sure Aro won't mind making up the guest room for me for a couple more months." I kidded.

"Funny." She smiled.

"I don't know how you can stay in that place so long, it's so creepy." I was trying to keep things light as my body became heavy with dread, the thought of leaving her again was a nightmare.

"It's not that bad once you get used to it. I just try to ignore what goes on behind closed doors. Plus you've seen my bedroom is amazing, the view basically goes on for miles and miles so I've adapted easily." She was certainly more settled than I imagined, the Volturi had treated her like a princess.

I took a deep breath deciding to do what was best for her. "Okay well what's another month or two, I've survived so far so..."

"I'm leaving." She cut in before I could finish. She was now sitting up tall a new wave of confidence. "I've done my time here and I've decided to move on to something new, Aro and Jane agree it's a great next step for me" Well if Aro and Jane think so, I thought sarcastically. "…I've planned a trip!" She explained brimming with excitement.

This was all new information to me. "Ookay. Sounds fun but you should probably talk to your parents about it first. I think they were expecting you home soon…"

"They know." She cut in again. "I've talked to them about it a lot and they've agreed. Mum's helped me map out a route and pick hotels. Plus obviously I need their money to do it so…it's cities in Europe, three of which are on our wish list…" She was giddy with anticipation.

I tried to stay calm. Why hadn't anyone told me about this? I had spent the whole weekend with Bella and Edward and they hadn't uttered one word about this trip or their helpful input. I would kill them. I was so annoyed. Another trip and then another and another; more and more time apart. Her alone in new, unknown places. I couldn't face it but I had to support her. She was making her own choices and I wouldn't stand in her way.

She had been explaining the trip while my mind was elsewhere "…then Paris, Barcelona, finishing in England and THEN back home." She finished dramatically as if it were a PowerPoint presentation. My smile had become strained and fake. "I know it seems like a long time but it's actually only nine weeks." She rushed to convince me.

There was an awkward moment of silence before I realized she was waiting for me to give my opinion. "No it's good. It's a big trip for sure…but I like the idea…I'm excited for you." I tried. I mean it will be hard but…"

"Will you come?" She cut in for the last time. Her smile was held and expectant that glint of mischief still present.

My train of thought derailed. "You want me to come with you?" I asked in surprise.

She was now leaning back into me, her face in my face. "Yeah. I really do. You see it's kind of a plan for two." She clarified with a grin. Right. That's why I didn't know about it, it was a surprise. There were no nonsensical plans. I would kill them. "It's already been booked and paid for. Plus mum talked to Sam and he seemed to think they would cope without you. They were getting a bit sick of you to be honest." She looked full of hope. This woman would be the death of me. "That's if you want to?"

I looked at her in wonderment not believing my luck, then before I could respond she leaned in and kissed me. It felt like a first kiss. It wasn't urgent or impatient like before. I wasn't desperate to convince her of my feelings. It was a hello. Like we were introducing ourselves for the first time. A slow, soft, gentle kiss. I pulled away after a moment to take it in, feeling the universe shift under us.

"Yeah. I want to." I answered, buzzing with happiness. "I really, really want to."

Renesmee looked at me with this bold, excited, daring stare. Smiled, that new wide wonderful smile and kissed me again.

THE END