Notes: Discussion of suicidal ideation, accidental outing of a nonbinary character, talk of murder, Keta

Chapter Thirty - The Light In Her

He wanted to die, he wanted to die. He wanted to die and leave her. He wanted to die, he wanted to-

Aelita stumbled into her room in the Eldest's home, not hearing the elderly woman, barely looking where she was going until she tripped and collapsed in her bed. The yawning chasm in her gut only seemed to grow the longer she stayed there with her face in her pillow.

It shouldn't have surprised her. She should have expected it. She should have understood it. Neglecting everything… she should have-

A hand pressed against her wrist, chilly in the heat from the room. Aelita made herself lift her head and turn it, only to be face to face with Rua's purple eyes.

Her brain, caught up in the throes of emotion, nearly disintegrated. "Wh-what are you doing here?" There was a boy in her room. There was a boy in her room.

"You ran off," he told her. "The Eldest asked me to check on you. Something about you're not used to this kind of thing?"

"I'm not used to boys being in my room," she mumbled, face now a brilliant pink.

Rua frowned, completely baffled still. "But I'm not a boy, so it's fine."

Aelita started, looking up at him. Well that couldn't be right. She'd seen his chest a few days ago. Wait, wait, hold on. She'd read about this. "But you're not a girl."

Rua nodded. "I am not."

Okay, she knew about this. She'd seen stuff on the internet. "Oh. Well… okay."

Rua nodded again. "So, it's fine for me to be here, isn't it?"

Aelita wanted to tell him that it wasn't all right because it was him, not because boys weren't in her room or not, but she'd already stuck her foot in her mouth once today and made him out himself to her. "Uh… yeah. Sure. Sorry."

Rua smiled and settled back on the floor. "So, you're not okay, right?"

Aelita gaped at him. "I… of course not, why would you ask that?"

Rua scooted until his hair was draping over the blankets in an untidy mass. "People often answer the question "are you okay?" with "I'm fine." even though they're not fine. I find it's better to ask the opposite. People get startled and either double down on the lie or admit it without realizing, like you."

Aelita couldn't help but squint at him. "You're not as nice as you look are you?"

Rua raised both eyebrows and her face flushed a dark red. "You're the… third person in my age group to figure that out. Congrats. Aya and my ex boyfriend were the first two."

Aelita had no idea how to take that. "Ex?"

Rua smiled again, but it didn't spread very far. "Take this advice, don't date your rivals until your rivalry is over." He shrugged. "Anyway, yeah you're not okay and you should not be okay. And your dad needs help. The only way to expedite the process of him getting help, gym wise, would be if you took over the gym."

Aelita sat up. "Me? Why?"

"Well," Rua frowned. "You're his daughter, aren't you?"

Aelita's blood ran cold.

"That was reckless and stupid of you."

Aya winced, more at the pain than the force of the towel popping fresh blisters from the water on her skin. "You say that but you're still helping me right now, Uncle and you nearly broke the man's nose as it was."

"Because he provoked an officer of the law with racial slurs, you're a challenger." Ion picked up another towel and started rubbing at her neck, this time a bit harder. "These really aren't going to come off, are they?"

Aya jerked away from him. "They'll fade, uncle, it's fine. But you'd better go call your boss and confirm the permit before you have to pay a fine for jumping the gun… again."

Ion squinted at her. "We're talking about this eventually Aya."

Aya threw him a disgruntled look. "There's nothing to talk about. It's just a crazy staff. I don't know why it won't leave me alone. I don't know why he's determined to let me have it. But I don't think he understands what he's really doing."

"He's leaving the painful things on your shoulders and you're a child."

Aya scowled and snatched the towel, taking it to her hair with a heavy fury. "Thanks, uncle. Did the lack of mom's tits give it away?"

"Ayame."

Aya flinched, but set her shoulders. "The dreaming dead want me to help him pass on peacefully and I don't want to." Ion opened his mouth and she shook her head. "No, they believe he can't be saved. They believe he just needs to go and that Aelita should be saved and want me to focus on her, but they disagree if that means saving Keta or not and he's an abusive asshole who doesn't know what he wants anymore because something happened. But the dreaming dead want him to join them and I don't want to do it."

"So don't."

"When you can actually see dead people, you can tell me how that goes." Aya rubbed her eyes and made to pull on new clothes. "I do need your help Uncle, can you help me with that instead?"

Ion continued to squint at her, hands poised to give her such a pinch. Aya didn't budge. She loved her uncle and she knew he was right and she needed to process because things were wrong (her mom has been missing for a week now, a week!) and she was still a giant chicken in a Joy-shaped can, but she was going to talk to Wes, her actual therapist, who wasn't really a therapist. Not her well meaning, nosy uncle who also had depression and took the things that were wrong with her and her family as a personal failure.

"Uncle?" she asked again, widening her eyes just so.

He melted immediately as he always did. She kicked herself for it. "What is it?"

"Do you know someone named Isha Harvard?" Aya turned to face him, pulling out a pokeball. "This child's claiming to be his son."

"The pokemon?" Ion's tense, irritable concern gave way to curiosity and a low simmering discomfort.

Uncle disliked the idea of ghosts, not out of any spiritual reasoning, but emotional ones she figured. She didn't ask him who died, and rather got the impression he was glad no one asked anymore. She wasn't sure about that though.

Instead, Aya nodded. "He's my rude little shuppet. He wants me to get rid of his dad, Isha Harvard."

Ion frowned."I… I heard that name once. From my teacher, probably. I can ask him."

"Please." Aya put the ball away. "It won't be easy to kill him and I'd rather not."

"That's for the best. I'd rather you didn't." Ion stood up and pulled her to her feet. Dressed again, the black and red marks of claws that had once been the size of her head were fading into smooth dark skin. Her eyes blinked at him, their familiar crimson red. And her hair-

He frowned. "You don't have any hair product?"

Aya shook her head no, touching her hair.

For a moment, Ion hesitated. She watched her uncle's face as discomfort flashed over his mouth and eyes.

Then he shook his head, whatever his decision was not clear to her in the slightest. "Well, I don't really remember where your mom ordered from. I think it's somewhere in Alola thanks to Kasey. So, to be safe, you can borrow stuff from Rua until we get her back and buy some more back in town."

Aya tilted her head. "Does Clair worry about that sort of thing?"

Ion gave her a dirty look. "I do. I didn't get these spikes doing nothing you know."

She supposed she deserved that.

"So is he not your dad or-"

"Ssshh!" It took everything she had not to roll over and cover his mouth with her hand, mostly because the only person who would care was the Eldest and hopefully she was, dunno, making dinner or something. "How did you figure it out?"

Rua crossed his arms. "Your village sucks at keeping a secret. You're the only person still actively invested in the sensei's well being. The elders of the village, the few I passed by, were watching us all together with some suspicion, you're the only young adult in the village without a job, your pokemon are things he could catch and would catch with the exception of that one pokeball on your belt that's in a luxury ball. Those don't come cheap."

Aelita sputtered. "That-that doesn't mean anything."

"You wouldn't be living with an elder of the village if you were actually not related to him in some way, and you're too young for him to be your husband." Rua yawned. "He wouldn't have looked at you like that during the fight if you didn't mean something to him."

"...Oh." Her chest hurt. "I… you can't talk about it. He told me I wasn't his daughter anymore."

"Clearly he doesn't believe that as much as you do." Rua rolled his shoulders. "But okay, I won't say anything out of here, except to Aya. She probably hasn't figured it out yet and it'll be fun to needle her because she doesn't know something."

He giggled and Aelita had never heard a sound quite like it. It was… nice. Though she wanted to tell him not to talk about it. Anyone could hear. "But anyway, why would it be faster if I took over the gym?"

"Uncle Ion would stay still and mentor you, for one." Rua settled back, content she wasn't going to jump him or something. "He's good at mentoring teenagers now, and you already live here so you have to have thought of reforms and such to be handled for another. You wouldn't have to be educated in the schedule of the village. For a third, because it's familial there won't be any hunting for a successor far and wide if he considers you his child on the village registry. Also you and the Eldest would be able to testify for what help he specifically might need and wouldn't resist the officers that would have to come in and take care of his affairs. Less movement around and all of that."

Aelita stared at him. "... Wow."

Rua smiled. "His wife is a gym leader. You learn a few things."

Aelita looked at her hands. "So… if I offer to take over, I can… I can help sensei and I can… become the sensei?"

"That's the short of it," he said, beginning to stand up. "But you'll need to train more pokemon. Aya would cream you in a few seconds with the team you have now. I'm pretty sure my baby sister would cream you."

"Hey!"

He grinned at her and made to leave the room.

"Wait!"

Rua blinked at her. "Yeah?"

Cheeks flushed, she managed to blurt out. "Thanks."

He waved her off. "You're welcome! Anytime."

As soon as he was gone, Aelita returned to trying to suffocate herself with a pillow.

She was so screwed.

Aya squinted at her navigator-phone. Then she sighed. Trinity chirruped at her and Aya waved a hand. "I'm just… nervous. Wes doesn't really care about human things. He tries, but he's like me. It's hard. He's also worked with papa sometimes as a Hunter, and Papa… worries. A lot. I don't like worrying him a lot."

Dad considered his husband a thing of loud and exuberant beauty. Especially loud beauty.

Trinity chirruped again, pecking at her hand. Aya smiled, unfussed. "Do you want to fly around with Cheshire while I chat?" The fletchinder nodded happily and Aya obediently let out her sleeping bat. He yawned as he touched the floor. "Sorry, Trinity wants to play."

Trinity squawked and waved a wing. Cheshire's confused mouth turned into a grin and he took off, spinning around the ceiling and squeaking in what could only be maniacal laughter. Trinity took off after him.

Her other pokemon simply rolled over (in the case of Sadie and Isaiah, who were adorably curled up together), glowered (Eevee), or ignored the whole thing (Ai the budew and Pich) as she made herself dial the familiar phone number.

As it rang, Aya pushed herself back against the pillows and played with the ball that contained her tiny Arceus. She didn't want to risk taking him out of the ball yet (seven pokemon was pushing it as it was, she was just going to hope that she could find a way to purify eevee and then keep eevee and pich in her clothes and no one would notice), but she couldn't wait forever.

The call beeped and Aya came face to face with blue eyes and orange-red hair. "Aya!" greeted the speaker.

Aya smiled, watching the dust go by the woman's face. "Rui! Sorry, did I uh, interrupt?"

"Not really, your dad and Wes are wrapping up hunting a giant krookodile in Alola. The Haina Desert is showing symptoms of giant pokemon growth. We think it's because of Tapu Bulu, but right now they're just harassing residents. No one wants ten foot krookodile running around. Galar will have a field day with it when they're not terrified."

Aya laughed before she could stop it. Rui winked at her. Rui was a very nice woman, just as deep-down feral as her… husband, life partner? Fellow in service of the gods? Mate? Aya admired their refusal to outright put a label on it, but they were what they were and they were absolutely adorable sometimes.

It helped that they were also as bone deep religious as Aya's hometown had been and understood why the devotion wouldn't just go after everything that had happened.

"So, what brings you to call right now?"

Aya chewed her lip. "Well, uhm… Mom was kidnapped."

Rui's eyebrows hit her hairline. "Your mother? Who survived escaping Unova, raised a hydreigon, called the Fairy Reaper, that Nancy?"

Aya nodded. It sounded really bad when it was said like that.

Rui grimaced. "I'll have to distract your papa. He won't take that well."

Aya made a face. "He'll be happy. He hates mom."

"Your papa hates that he and Morty didn't just get full custody of you and that she wasn't willing to entirely leave your life."

She wasn't going to deny that. "Also there's this." She lifted her right hand and pressed the band on her wrist. It extended over her arm, forming into the snag machine that barely weighed anything on her arm and shoulder. "There are Shadow Pokemon in Aevium. Also I caught Arceus."

Rui stared at her for a moment. Then she hopped to her feet like a buneary. "Stay here, I'm getting Wes."

"O-okay."

She was gone, leaving the screen showing rocks and dirt and dust blowing by, a couple of sandile nipping at each other in play on a rock. She looked around her room to see Trinity and Cheshire having given up the game, with Trinity on the room provided perch and Cheshire dangling above her on a ceiling rafter.

Aya felt her heart warm. That was adorable.

She felt the ball in her hand once again. Picking it up, she thumbed the release mechanism and let out the small arceus once more.

Teo shook himself out with surprise. Then he glared at her. "You're such a rude brat!" he said.

Aya supposed that was very true. "You're right, I'm sorry."

"That's right, you sho-" He stopped, chest deflating from its irritable puff. "You're sorry? You imprisoned a god and you think that's all that will be needed is a sorry!"

"Of course not." Aya looked at him, trying not to let the panic creep up and fly at him. He was a baby, after all, but a baby brat. And she was the trainer, he couldn't see her sweat. "Just as I think you upturning my attempts at getting back a normal life can't be fixed with just a sorry. And if I release you, you'll either stick around or upset someone else. So I want to work with you instead. If you don't cause my therapist and me any problems during the rest of this call, you'll get a candy."

The horse looked at her with displeasure and then rolled his multicolored eyes. "And if I don't do as you wish, oh demanding master."

Aya shrugged his shoulders. "Then you don't get a candy and I'm not going to be able to play with you while I'm talking."

Arceus gaped at her as the sound of boots in sand caught her attention. "Greetings, little bird," Wes greeted, as dark skinned and fairhaired as the last time she saw him. His catlike eyes widened a little. "I hear you have a Snag Machine?"

She nodded and presented her arm with it on. Wes whistled. "Oh interesting. Do tell."

Aya swallowed and started the tale, hopefully for the last time. At least until she talked to Venam and Ren again. Speaking of, she probably needed to call them.

"I see," Wes said once she'd finished, dreams and all. "Are you all right, all things considered?"

Aya swallowed. "I want to go home, Wes."

"... Mm. I could get your papa right now and arrange that."

She smiled weakly. "I won't go back if I do. I'll leave my friends like this forever. And mom, probably."

"And there's no shame in that, I don't think." Wes smiled at her. "You are not all right, and that is all right. This is going to be a long journey, Aya. It's all right to falter in it so soon."

"... Yeah?"

"Of course." Wes laughed. "I faltered rather often, more than Rui saw. It took me a long time to decide to blow up that base, you know. But it was still worth it. You may find this journey is still worth it despite your hesitation."

Teo was strangely silent at her side.

"Only you can determine that however." He adjusted his position in the sand. "That said, little bird, how is the angry chicken?"

"Quiet." She hadn't heard from him in a few days. "Made a rude fucking thing the other day, but he doesn't seem to like this place."

"Places the gods fear to walk are places humans love to eat," Wes said with the simplicity of a man who had seen it all. (And he may have.)

"It feels nostalgic." Now that she said it, it did, like she'd walked the earth a thousand times and would do it a thousand more. Like she'd always been here but had never been. It… she didn't like it.

"Is that so?" He grinned. "Another question for your elusive mother for why you were to come here, once you quiet those nagging human voices of yours."

Aya snorted at him. "You're so weird Wes."

"Yes, but that is why we're comrades, isn't it?"

"I guess." She blinked, a realization coming to her. "That's right, Wes I think I met a former clanmate of yours."

"Oh?" His eyes grew slightly round. "Tell me everything. It's been so long since I've met someone who doesn't try to kill me on introductions."

Aya nodded. "Yeah, she goes by Venam. She smells like poison and…"

The topics changed slowly, he pointedly jabbed at the fact that her Uncle was right there and fishing for information, and she failed to evade any of his questions.

And through it all, the arceus stood by her side, stiff as a board.

Keta cracked his back as his computer finally booted up. The PC had served him well, but its technology was rather outdated for the times. Because of that, he rarely used it. Not that he used much outside of his cameras.

Still, for this he supposed it needed to be done.

A small set of footsteps greeted him before the low yip of his first pokemon, the only one he called a friend, reached his side.

"You've been slacking," he told her. His partner only raised an eyebrow. It had been so long since he had heard her voice as words. Sometimes he missed it. "You could have used the practice this morning."

She scoffed.

"We'll be battling that Joy in a week's time," he continued, ignoring her derision. "You're going to train her using bone rush."

The sound she made in response to this was perfectly clear.

"Because…" He typed on the keyboard, accessing his box while he tried to think of an answer. He picked an icon on screen and began the arduous task of setting it to an item attachment. This could take all night. No matter.

"Because the Soul Stone has chosen her. Because the living and the dead are seeking a champion." He let out a sigh. "It has been a long time since I have seen a distant star to light my way. I do not wish to be burned by the sun."

Lucario chortled at him and for the first time in years, he heard, "My boy is still in there somewhere, it seems. You failed to kill him."

"What a relief," Keta said in just as dry of a voice. "To know that I still remain a failure in all things that mean anything at all."