Chapter 22 – Trepidation

Hermione had thought she would be fine before they arrived at Kings Cross. After all, she had been to the Ministry and Diagon Alley plenty of times over the summer, surrounding herself with strangers without becoming overwhelmed with their mingling scents. But the press of bodies when they walked through the barrier to Platform Nine and Three Quarters was something entirely different. Something she was not at all prepared for.

The noise was overwhelming and grated on her sensitive ears, making Hermione wince every time someone screamed in joy at seeing their friends again, or a parent shouted a shrill reminder along the platform to their child. The smell as well, of hot steam and coals, sweat from the press of bodies, and various potent perfumes was almost sickening. Hermione was glad when Ginny pulled the light scarf from her own shoulders and wrapped it around Hermione's neck so she could bury her nose in the comforting scents of her pack. She felt as one with the owls and cats on the platform as they screeched at every sudden noise or jostle, trying in vain to keep her own bubble of space while she stood with Ginny, saying their farewells to Harry, Ron and the rest of the Weasleys.

She heard a shout of greeting and, when she turned around to watch Luna skipping towards them, Hermione noticed that the wary and curious eyes of at least half the crowd were turned on her. She began to panic, her heart pounding in her chest but Harry, who was embracing Ginny next to her, leaned over to wrap his hand gently around her wrist and she lifted her wide eyes to meet his understanding gaze.

"They're looking at all of us, Hermione, just like they always do. No one knows anything," he reassured her, speaking softly.

"But the trials are over," Hermione hissed back. "There's nothing stopping the Wizengamot from speaking about it now."

"There's Kingsley, and we trust him, don't we? He's sorted out the regulations about employment and education, after all."

"Under threat from Professor McGonagall," Hermione reminded him dryly and received a pitying smile in return. She sighed and looked around at those who were still staring at them, shuddering slightly before giving everyone a peck on the cheek and excusing herself to make her way onto the train.

It was quieter inside the carriages with most of the students still on the platform saying their goodbyes to family. Hermione wandered along the corridor looking for a compartment that felt right to her, knowing that Ginny and Luna would come and find her eventually. She'd boarded near the back of the train and was walking through the currently empty carriages towards the front when a familiar voice called out from a compartment that she had just passed.

"Hermione!" She turned to see Dean sticking his head out of the door. "Heading up to the prefect's carriage? I knew McGonagall would make you Head Girl." He grinned at her, but Hermione could only blink back confusedly.

She had completely forgotten about prefects and her ambition to become Head Girl. It seemed like a desire held such a long time ago, before everything got so complicated. Before battle and blood. Before Horcruxes and torture and transformation. Dean must have realised his mistaken assumption because the playful grin fell from his face and he lifted a hand to rub the back of his neck.

"Or not. Sorry, I just assumed that..."

"It's alright, Dean," Hermione interrupted him, having shaken herself out of her confusion. "I've had a lot going on that Professor McGonagall knows about. It's nice to see you back anyway." She smiled brightly at him and his grin returned to his face.

"Well yeah. I mean, I missed all last year like you did and I want as many options as I can in the wizarding world. Can't just go back to being a muggle now after all that. Mum gets it, but my half-sisters think I'm mad. They don't understand what I would be giving up though."

"And I wasn't about to let him come back by himself, no matter what me Ma says," a broad Irish twang sounded from inside the compartment behind Dean that made Hermione chuckle in her throat.

"Hello, Seamus," Hermione peered around the doorway when Dean stepped backwards and saw the wizard with a proclivity for pyrotechnics eating his way through a pack of Fizzing Whizbees.

"Hullo, Hermione," he uttered around a mouthful. "Gon' join us?"

Hermione took a second to think about it before nodding but she figured that she had better let them know that Ginny and Luna would be joining her.

"Oh that's fine," Dean waved off her concern, sitting down next to Seamus who offered him the bag of sweets. He took a handful then tucked his feet up on the bench. "I think this makes us the only returning Gryffindors," he pointed out as Hermione took a seat across from them.

"What about Parvati?" she asked but Dean shook his head, swallowing the sweets before answering.

"Pretty sure her parents have taken her and Padma to India on an extended visit. Get away from Britain for a bit and all that. Haven't seen anyone else."

"Seen a few of the other houses though," Seamus piped up. "Hannah and Susan were talking with Tracey Davis for some reason up the front of the train and we saw Morag MacDougal from Ravenclaw walk past with her head down earlier."

"I'm glad Tracey's returned," Hermione narrowed her eyes slightly at Seamus' insinuation. "We can't ostracise everyone sorted into Slytherin. Maybe Hannah and Susan have the right idea." She received a few grumbles from Seamus, but Dean met her gaze and rolled his eyes with a smile before reaching across Seamus' lap to steal some more of his sweets.

Hermione noticed that, as the compartments gradually filled up, the air in the carriages became more and more stifling. She found herself relying on Ginny's scarf again and, when that wasn't enough, she opened the window hoping for some fresh air. The relief it provided was minimal with the train still stood in the station, and the anxious scratches Hermione was leaving up her forearms were coming close to drawing blood by the time Ginny and Luna found their compartment. Hermione grabbed Ginny's arm as soon as they stepped through the sliding door and pulled her down on top of her before the younger witch had even finished greeting Dean and Seamus.

"Whoa!" Ginny exclaimed while the other three raised intrigued eyebrows at Hermione's odd behaviour.

Ginny shuffled more comfortably into the seat next to Hermione and turned to look at her, understanding crossing her face as she took in Hermione's wide, skittish eyes with her nose buried in Ginny's scarf. She slung an arm around Hermione's shoulders and pulled her into the crook of her neck so that Hermione could turn her face to breathe in the familiar scent at the pulse point just below her ear.

"Is she okay?" Hermione heard Dean ask in a low voice to Ginny, yet it was Luna who surprisingly answered.

"I can imagine how overwhelming it must be," she sighed, and Hermione flinched at the insinuation that Luna knew.

"Don't worry. I haven't told her," Ginny breathed, turning her face into Hermione's curls so that the others couldn't hear her reassurance. Hermione nodded imperceptibly and then felt the train moving so she made the effort to lift her head and wave out of the window at her loved ones.

She felt a sinking sensation in the pit of her stomach as she watched them disappear behind the billowing steam and her breathing became even more ragged as she gulped for air. Ginny began rubbing soothing circles between her shoulder blades, ignoring the worried looks from Dean, Luna and Seamus, and repeatedly told her just how fine everyone would be. Ron and Harry in Auror training where they would be doing good in the wizarding world. Bill and Fleur, her strong seconds, always on hand. George and Percy working again, having found the strength to move back to their flats because of her and even dating now. Harry would be there for Teddy and Andromeda, and Mrs Weasley would take care of the others. Plus McGonagall had said she could make floo calls whenever necessary, so she wouldn't be completely removed from the goings on of the rest of her pack.

"Percy's dating?" Hermione murmured, still staring unfocused out of the window and Ginny chuckled.

"I try to make you feel better and that's what you pick up on?"

X - X - X

Three hours into their journey and the brief respite provided by Ginny seemed to have been left in the distant past if it had even existed at all. Their compartment had been shrinking around Hermione ever since leaving London and she hadn't been able to concentrate on anything the other four had said for at least half that time. She felt as though there was no space on the train. How on earth was she supposed to breathe when hundreds of pre and post pubescent children were crowded together in enclosed carriages. Even the hope of fresh air coming through the open window once they started moving had been dashed; the thick steam just as oppressive, coating the inside of her nasal passage with itching, black soot and the taste of it sticking in the back of her throat.

Hermione had been clinging to Ginny's scent and the familiar voices closest to her, but the worry for her pack had only worsened the further from London they travelled. This made the sounds and smells of the students on the train even more unbearable and all Hermione could think of was getting out of there. She needed space. She needed to breathe.

Standing abruptly, Hermione left the compartment, vaguely hearing Ginny call after her and Luna say they should leave her be for a while as she turned towards the back of the train where she hoped there would be fewer people and possibly an empty compartment. She passed group after group of gawking students, all pausing in their conversations to stare after her, but she didn't stop until she reached the very end of the last carriage.

She stared for a while at the handle on the door and wondered if opening it would help her escape. It would provide more fresh air than opening the tiny windows on the side of the carriages did and she could even jump from the back of the train if she wanted to. The itch to do so was insistent under her skin and she doubted that it would seriously harm her, but then she would have to make her own way to Hogwarts and she couldn't be any further north than Birmingham. It hadn't been so long ago that the trolley witch had come by.

Just as she gave in to the itch and reached out a hand to grab hold of the cold, metal handle, the door of the compartment closest to her slid open and the air around her suddenly felt fresher, cleaner. She could breathe and she closed her eyes to relish in it, loosening her grip.

"You don't really want to do that, Granger." The drawl painted a smile on her face and had her pulling her hand back. "I can probably imagine how you're feeling right now, trapped in these carriages, but I also know you're probably not thinking clearly with the moon just over a week away. Have you started wolfsbane yet this month?"

Hermione whipped around to face Draco, anxious to see whether anyone else had heard him but the corridor at least was empty.

"Relax," he rolled his eyes. "I'm pretty sure I've scared anyone else out of this carriage."

"Pretty sure or sure?" Hermione asked him to clarify, crossing her arms over her chest and noticing that he was wearing the new robes she had acquired for him. "You received your things alright then?" she added, looking him up and down.

"Sure. And yes, I did. Thank you." He cleared his throat then turned back into his compartment before sticking his head out of the doorway again. "You... you can join me if you'd like? There are fewer people here after all."

Hermione cocked her head to one side and took a moment to consider, during which time Draco ducked back out of sight again. When she stepped through the doorway, she found him stretched along one of the benches with a new textbook - one from the list she had bought two of at Flourish and Blotts - resting on his knees.

"The new defence textbook is fascinating," he commented when he saw her looking, "but I don't require it. Or herbology."

"I just told the assistant to give me a duplicate of each on my own list, to save hassle since it was busy. Although not too crowded for me to manage in retrospect," Hermione grimaced.

"You were about a week out of a full moon then. Now you're closer to the next one so, like I said, I can probably imagine how you're feeling." The corner of Draco's mouth quirked in the beginnings of a smile before he returned to reading the textbook that he didn't actually need for school.

Hermione sighed and closed the door behind her but opened the window before sitting on the free bench with her feet curled up beneath her. She watched him read for quite a while before the movement of the train and the calmness of his carriage lulled her into a light doze.

Draco woke her when the trolley came around again but she was too dazed to provide him with an order so he purchased her a pumpkin pasty, a chocolate eclair and some Earl Grey tea.

"I'm afraid the trolley witch doesn't stock chamomile," he smirked as he handed her the mug and settled back on his own bench, sipping his own tea.

"Has Ginny been to look for me?" Hermione asked, lifting her mug to her lips with faux nonchalance, eyes fixed on Draco's face and widening when he nodded.

"She saw you were asleep and was glad that you had finally relaxed. It sounds as though you gave Finnigan and Thomas quite the scare." His eyes sparkled at the prospect and Hermione glared at him over the rim of her mug.

"Stop that before you even start it. You're not going to be that person this year."

"I shall be whomever and whatever I want, Granger. To have such freedom." Draco leaned back dramatically with a sigh, flinging his arms out to the side and vanishing his mug of tea as he did so.

Hermione rolled her eyes.

"I'm being serious," he said, having noticed her reaction through half-lidded eyes. "Father's gone. The Dark Lord's gone. Aunt Bella is gone. It's just Mother and I, finally free to live our lives as we please, even with the Ministry sanctions."

She couldn't help but agree with that but scoffed at the turn their lives had taken. The end of the war bringing freedom for him yet landing Hermione with a new persona that had taken over control of her life. She shook her head at herself and bit into her eclair just as Draco spoke again.

"Actually, that reminds me. Mother received a letter yesterday from a friend in France."

"Yes?" Hermione prompted when Draco didn't immediately continue with his reason for bringing up that particular piece of inconsequential information.

"Well they said... and she has already passed it along to the Aurors, I just felt you should know as well, considering certain... things," Hermione raised an eyebrow at Draco's rambling and he brought it to a halt, clearing his throat before continuing in his usual low drawl. "The letter indicated that Greyback had been sighted around the docks of Cherbourg, sleeping in a warehouse there for a few days at least."

"Cherbourg?" she checked quietly, eyes glazing over as they failed to focus on anything in particular, the black and green of Draco's robes blurring in front of her.

"Yes. Granger..."

"Cherbourg in Normandy?"

"Granger, look at me." She blinked him back into focus, a dislike of his imperative tone stirring in her chest, and met his steely gaze. "It's going to be fine, remember. Just like you told me."

A/N:

*Gasp* I've actually updated on a Tuesday (just - it's 23:35 here)

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