Chapter 22

The office building in New Rochelle looked exactly as she remembered it. It was innocuous enough, a small three story medical building in a newly renovated section of downtown but sadly, the mere sight of it dredged up many conflicting emotions. Although visits to Marion Birch's office had always been beneficial for both herself and for Neal, the reasons that had brought them there in the first place were still very painful to recall.

Neal had happened upon the woman's name when he'd researched therapists following Sara's traumatic experience at the hands of the two foreign operatives who had used her as a bargaining chip to secure top secret government information. Looking back now, the whole episode read like something out of a spy novel although it had begun innocently enough with Neal coming to the aid of a woman who was being attacked on a street corner in the Chelsea Art District on a chilly fall evening almost three years before.

Sara had spent twenty-four hours at the hands of her abductors, two North Korean men who'd been convinced Neal had the information they wanted. Getting her back safe and sound had been a huge relief but had turned out to be just the beginning of a tortuous and lengthy road to recovery for the ballsy insurance investigator. She'd been badly beaten and as the effects of the drugs with which they'd injected her had begun to fade, troubling memories of sexual abuse at the hands of her kidnappers had begun to emerge, making the road to healing even more painful and arduous.

She recalled the first time Neal had dragged her kicking and screaming to Marion Birch's office. Being the independent, self-sufficient woman she was, she'd been determined to make it through this latest trauma all by her lonesome. But it had become increasingly obvious that this time, events had conspired to keep her from fully healing and returning to her previous life without help.

She sighed as she paid the cab driver and stepped onto the sidewalk. Taking a deep breath, she entered the all-too-familiar building and climbed up the flight of stairs to the second floor. Within minutes, she was sitting across the warm smile of a woman she'd come to admire - and count on.

'Thanks for seeing me on such short notice' she said as she took a seat on what looked to her to be a new sofa.

'I like what you've done with the place' she added with a nervous titter.

Marion busied herself pouring some water into two glasses. 'It was time for a little redecorating' she admitted. 'Anyway, it's been well over a year… I can't believe I haven't seen you in all that time. For people in my business, that's always a good sign.'

Sara smiled but kept fiddling with her purse, finally setting it down by her feet.

'You know you're safe here Sara. Whatever's on your mind… I'm here to listen.'

Sara chuckled nervously. 'Well… if there's one thing I've learned over the last few years, it's to reach out for help when I need it.'

'That's a good thing… How's Neal doing?'

'He's good. Really busy with the school and still involved with the gallery. He's… managed to stay on track' she said cryptically.

Marion had been instrumental in setting up an intervention when Neal's drinking had spiralled out of control; she could certainly read between the lines.

'And your daughter, how is she doing?'

Sara smiled, a little more relaxed this time. 'She's doing really well. She works full time at the gallery and she's still working through some… stuff… you know, fallout from the accident. She had a procedure on her ear last week but she's recovering well.'

Marion nodded. 'I'm glad for all of you. So, what's brought you here today?'

'The court date… it's next Tuesday.'

Marion sat through the awkward silence, letting Sara find her words.

'Things have been good with me… with us for a long time now' she said, referring to hers and Neal's long journey back to the way things had been before her attack.

'That's great. Am I sensing a 'but'?'

'But… getting ready to go to court, it's brought all those memories back. I've been feeling… uneasy.'

'That's hardly surprising Sara. You went through a very traumatic experience.'

'He's going to be there. In the courtroom' she said, cutting to the chase. 'And I don't know how either one of us will manage with him staring back at us.'

'What is it you're worried about?'

'Just… his piercing eyes, looking back at me, trying to intimidate me. And Neal… what if he loses it? For years now, he's had visions of beating him to a pulp…'

'That doesn't sound like the Neal I know.'

'That's just it… with Neal, it's all under the surface.'

'What exactly is involved with this court proceeding?'

'I have to sit before a judge and more or less, recite the events of that day. I've already submitted written testimony telling exactly what happened. But I'm afraid of tripping up and having the judge challenge what I'm saying.'

'You're not on trial here Sara, he is.'

'That's what my lawyer says. Plus there was plenty of physical evidence and apparently, the son of a bitch isn't mounting much of a defence but things need to go on record so…'

Marion smiled at the use of profanity - a mark of Sara's fighting spirit. 'First off, I want you to remember that what you're doing takes a lot of courage. I know you've wanted to see this through as part of your healing process. So you need to focus on that and I promise you you'll get through this just like you made it through everything else. What does Neal say about all this?'

'To be honest, we haven't talked much about it' Sara admitted sheepishly.

'You mean you haven't been totally honest about how you're feeling.'

Sara shrugged. 'That's not fair' she said with a nervous giggle. 'You know the two of us too well.'

'Sara, this is no time to play the fearless card. Neal and your family… they're your main source of support and you need to be honest about how you're feeling so they can be there for you.'

'I don't want my kids there' Sara said bluntly.

'Okay… Are you telling me or asking me?'

There was a slight hesitation before Sara spoke. 'Telling. They both know I was beaten and abused but… they don't know the details about what he did to me.'

Suddenly, emotions began bubbling to the surface, her throat growing tight, her voice becoming shaky.

'Sara, that's entirely your decision… but your kids love you and they're both young adults now.'

'That's the point. They're both in stable, loving relationships. They saw what this did to me and their dad, how it took months and months for us to get back to where we were, how I was afraid of the dark, how, for the longest time, I would pull away whenever Neal touched me. Why should I put them through these… horrible images of me at the mercy of that… that fucking asshole?'

Marion leaned in and touched Sara's hand. 'Whether your kids are there or not is up to you. I'll just say this. By shutting them out, you're leaving things up to their imagination… did you ever consider the possibility that what they're imagining is even worse than what really transpired? The important thing is that they've watched you and Neal come back from this. Bottom line, you need to make sure you have all the support you need because… well, I hate to break it to you but bringing this out into the open is going to cause some aftershocks and it'll take you some time to completely shake it off.'

'I've decided to ask Peter and Elizabeth to be there - as much for Neal's sake as my own. Peter is Neal's best friend and…'

Marion remembered all too well the family dynamics and what great friends the Burkes had been to the Caffreys as they navigated life's ups and downs.

'I think that's a great idea. I'm sure Neal is worried about you and he's going to need some support too. But I know the two of you pretty well, Sara. You have a tendency to protect each other from unpleasant things. Just make sure you don't shut Neal out just because you don't want to upset him. He's already upset and helping you through this phase is important to him too. Don't deprive him of that because you won't just be hurting yourself, you'll be hurting him too.'

Sara nodded. She hadn't been sure what had drawn her back to Marion but now, hearing those words, she realized why she'd come.

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Neal sat across the table from his son in their suburban kitchen, looking over the brochures from the two universities which had come knocking on their door over the past week. Columbia had a great business program but for better or for worse, it was very close to home. The recruiter from Syracuse, a woman named Nadine Calhoun, had really given them the hard sell. Syracuse was a Division 1 school, the elitist of the elite, an opportunity for Liam to play for a top of the line team. It was also a few hours drive from White Plains, just enough to give him some independence while being close enough for regular visits to the old homestead.

'So what do you think?'

'I really liked her presentation' Liam said, pointing to the glitzy folder of promotional information from Syracuse.

'They really want you, that's obvious' Neal said with more than a touch of pride.

'I've still got time to decide, right Dad?' Liam asked, sounding nervous.

Neal clasped his son's shoulder and squeezed. 'Of course you do, buddy. We've got at least two more visits scheduled before basketball season ends.'

Liam nodded and sighed loudly.

'And if you want, we can go visit the campuses, see how you feel.'

Liam remained silent, dumbstruck.

'Liam, there's no wrong answer here. Any one of these universities will give you an excellent education. It's up to you where you want to go, the world is your oyster.'

'Did someone say oysters?' came Sara's voice as she appeared behind them. 'That sounds yummy.'

Neal looked up. He'd been biding his time while she finished getting dressed and now he could see the wait had been well worth it. She was wearing a classic off the shoulder little black dress that fell just above the knee, with a plunging neckline and a tucked in waist accentuating her trim silhouette. Her hair was swept back in a loose chignon resting on her neck and giving her a sophisticated look while bringing out that glint of hazel in her eyes.

'Wow! You look amazing!' Neal said, getting to his feet.

Liam grinned as he watched his father morph from 'supportive dad' to 'adoring husband'.

'You did say dress up' Sara said with a provocative eyebrow wag.

Neal's slipped his arm around her waist as he kissed her cheek. 'You are in for an amazing evening Mrs. Caffrey' he murmured in her ear.

'Where are we going?' she asked for the umpteenth time. Neal had been keeping his anniversary plans under wraps for weeks now and she still hadn't gotten him to open up about where he was taking her. One thing was for sure, a night out with her sexy husband was never a disappointment.

His lips wandered to her neck and along her shoulder as she giggled. 'You just get in the car and let me worry about where we're going.'

She shook her head in exasperation. 'See honey' she said, turning to her son. 'You need to have complete trust in a relationship if you want it to be successful.'

Neal grinned widely, pleased with himself.

'Don't stay out too late you two' Liam called out after them.

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Maybe she should have been relieved but the truth was Caitlin was more than a little perturbed when she noticed Ginny was absent from the weekly party at Logan Parrish's house. Had they broken up? Had Ginny finally seen the light? A girl could hope but somehow she had an uneasy feeling as she watched Logan chatting up some of the young girls who were in attendance. Whatever was brewing with Ginny Berrigan seemed still very much in play.

As always, the charismatic young man was flirty but not overly so, just enough to reel in those young innocent girls he seemed to favour. The memory of the young girl who'd vanished the year before crossed her mind and Caitlin was unable to shake the feeling that Logan was somehow involved in her disappearance. Sadly, all she had to go on was her intuition - which was no small thing, just nothing solid enough with which to go to the police.

She passed on the joint someone placed in front of her nose, deciding to sip her ginger ale and stay clear minded and alert. If something was up with this guy, she would be no match for his wiles if she was shitfaced. She settled in to watch the developments, her mind in overdrive.

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'Don't you ever get tired of picking the perfect places?' Sara asked as they finished up their main meal.

Neal sat back, enjoying her reaction. 'I like to keep you guessing.'

She glanced around the place, an intimate new dining and dancing spot she'd never heard of, located not terribly far from the offices of Sterling Bosch.

'How did I not even know this place existed?' she asked.

Neal lifted his index finger. 'Because number one… you're a very busy working mom' he said before lifting a second finger, 'and number two… because it only opened about three months ago.'

She smiled back, pleased with his choice. Even the restaurant's name, Bella Luna had stars dancing in her eyes. 'Well, the food here is amazing…'

She was interrupted by the tuxedo clad waiter returning with a tray carrying coffee and a baba au rum for Neal and lemon tart for herself. He placed a small bowl of chocolate covered strawberries on the table between them.

'I hope you're planning on staying for some dancing' the man said to Neal. 'We have a wonderful quartet taking the stage in about an hour.'

Neal reached for his wife's hand. 'We wouldn't miss it. I'm celebrating twenty-two years of blissful marriage to this beautiful woman.'

The man glanced over at Sara, duly impressed. 'If you don't mind my saying sir, it appears you married up' he said with a naughty grin — as if he'd been coached to say so.

'Damn right' Neal said as he brought his lips to rest Sara's knuckles. The server nodded and stepped away — mission accomplished.

'All right Caffrey, how much did you slip him to come up with that corny line.'

Neal stared back, looking glib yet admitting nothing. He was just pleased as punch to see his wife beaming back at him. She'd been on the prickly side for the past few days as she prepared for her court appearance and he was pleased to be giving her a little reprieve from all that angst.

'It's nice to see you smile.'

'How could I not' she replied, glancing around the luxury restaurant. 'You always treat me like a queen.'

'That's 'cause I live to make you happy Repo.'

She was unable to hold back an amused chuckle. 'Wow, you're really pulling out all the stops tonight, aren't you?'

Neal's face grew serious as he shrugged. 'I've been worried about you lately.'

Sara smiled back at him, a forced smile this time. 'It'll all be over in a couple of days.'

There was an awkward silence before she spoke again. 'I paid Marion a visit yesterday.'

Neal's eyes grew in surprise. If Sara had taken the time to make an appointment with their beloved therapist, she was no doubt more anxious than he'd realized.

'How did it go?'

'You know Marion… she's always good for a reality check' she admitted. 'She suggested I come clean to you about how stressed I've been feeling.'

'Babe, I hate to break it to you but you haven't been hiding it as well as you might think.'

Sara scoffed. 'Truth is I'm… I'm worried about you too.'

'Me?'

'Yeah, I know that just the thought of what happened makes your blood boil. I hate that you have to listen to the whole sordid tale all over again.'

'I'm fine' Neal said, squeezing her hand. 'No need to worry about me.'

Her face hardened as she spoke. 'The bastard came close to ruining our lives and I hate him for it.'

'So do I' Neal replied, his voice surprisingly calm. 'But he didn't. And we sure as hell don't want to give him any leverage now.'

Sara felt her heart rate accelerating at the thought of her attacker.

'Babe, you've done nothing wrong' Neal said, his voice full of emotion. 'I want you to go up there, take a deep breath and tell them what happened as if you were telling them something that happened to somebody else.'

Her eyes narrowed. 'What do you mean?'

'Just don't give him the satisfaction of seeing you upset. Guys like that, they traffic in fear and intimidation. Just… keep your eyes on me and tell the judge what happened.'

She listened, her heart rate beginning to slow at the sound of her husband's velvety voice.

'Or am I asking too much?' he added, seeing the concern in her eyes.

'No… No, I don't want to give him the satisfaction either but part of me wants to stare him right in the eye, let him see he didn't succeed in destroying me.'

Neal felt a lump forming in his throat. Things could have turned out much differently if it hadn't been for Sara's fighting spirit and the support of Marion Birch. With time, his beautiful wife had come back to him and he was eternally grateful for that.

'You know I don't tell you often enough…' he began, his voice shaky. '… you're amazing. Do you know that I get all my strength from you?'

'That's not true. You've been there for me every step of the way.'

Neal's gaze faltered, his eyes moving to stare down at his hands. 'We both know I've let you down' he said, recalling how his infatuation with whisky had momentarily kept him away at a crucial point in Sara's long journey.

'Don't say that… Neal, you've never let me down' she replied emphatically. 'You were going through some serious shit and I've forgiven you for that… short lapse. Truth is… you're my rock Caffrey, I could never have gotten through any of it without you.'

He nodded. All those hours of therapy, working through his shame at having let her down… he had to remind himself that guilt did nothing to move things along.

He seemed to get the upper hand on his emotions. 'One thing's for sure. You can count on me to be there for anything you need. I can be whatever you need me to be.'

She shook her head. 'Oh Caffrey, you already are.'

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The party was in full swing as booze and drugs played their all important role in social lubrication. There was laughter and music and spontaneous make out sessions as party goers let loose. It felt strange to be stone cold sober at a party but Caitlin persevered, determined to see what she could find out about this guy who, she was now convinced, was preying on young Virginia Berrigan. She tried to keep her eyes on him while she socialized with some of the regulars, watching as he worked the room. A couple of new girls had appeared and Caitlin couldn't help but notice how Logan spent most of his time with them, bringing them drinks, dope and whatever else he had in his arsenal. One of the two girls was barely functioning, beyond falling down drunk and he sat with her, whispering in her ear as she giggled.

Caitlin was tempted to take some pictures, maybe share them with Ginny but she knew how that would play out. The teen was beyond help at this point, so enamoured with this guy that she wouldn't believe anything negative Caitlin might say about him.

The small two storey house was overflowing with people, some sitting on the stairs leading up to the second floor and Caitlin made her way upstairs to see what she could find. Young people filled the hallway, chatting as they drank and smoked. The bathroom was located at the end of the hall and Caitlin made her way there, closing the door behind her before rummaging through the medicine cabinet. Nothing much there — just the usual Advil and cold remedies as well as basic first aid supplies. As she stepped out, she took a quick right past a closed door and into a quiet bedroom - obviously out of bounds for the partygoers. She noticed a photograph on a night table, Logan with his arm around the shoulder of an older woman, perhaps his mom.

Her hands shook as she began to rummage through the night stand, finding a stash of pot and pills as well as a crack pipe and other drug paraphernalia, an open box of condoms and assorted magazines. She felt her heart thump in her chest at the realization of what she was doing - not that Caitlin Somersby had never rooted through someone's private belongings. Of course she had. But her motives had always been self serving whereas now, someone else's wellbeing was in her quaking hands. She moved to the dresser, pushing aside underwear and socks on her quest for God knows what. She came upon something of interest in the third drawer, an envelope commonly used to hold airline tickets. Her trembling hands had just reached for the flap, eager to peek inside when she heard the unexpected jiggle of the door handle.

She gasped, throwing the envelope back in the drawer and slamming it shut before glancing around the room looking for cover. At the last minute, she dove to the floor, taking refuge on the far side of the bed and rolling her body into a tight ball.

Then she heard the door open.

TBC