Chapter 33
Penny made her way out of the appointment with her therapist and decided to skip her audition. She was not really in the mood to that anyways. She took a drive and arrived at the park a few blocks away from her apartment. Penny sighed as she parked her car and turned it off. She happened to find a peice of paper and a pen and began to write. As she finished Penny folded up the paper and grabbed her keys and phone. Once she was out, Penny put her keys and phone in her pockets and began to walk. She stopped after sometime and sat on the bench in front if the pond. It was peaceful and after an hour of figuring out she really was not in a good place, this is what she needed.
It was obvious with Penny's therapist, Leonard, when she was acting, her friends, and now her unborn baby made Penny happy. But those past relationships and occurrences of loosing a baby or being sexually assaulted and abused made Penny fight with herself for moving forward. Just seeing that young family in the waiting room earlier made Penny want to stop everything with Leonard and run away. So her therapist suggested Penny to write letters to her ex boyfriends and her baby she lost few years ago. But she did not have to send them out physically but write them and then burn them as that past was released into the Universe. Then her therapist suggested to write a letter to Leonard about her fears for their relationship and that she too would step up and work for their relationship. Not just him. Penny would try but always felt like she failed. She wanted a successful relationship with Leonard because he worked so hard for what they were and she felt like she was giving nothing back. She kept bringing up the past. So she just did that minutes ago.
Penny took out her phone and texted Leonard, "Hey, are you at work?"
L: " Yes I am...How did your appointment go? Are you waiting for your audition? If so, you're going to nail it, I just know you will." Then Leonard gave her a smile emoji following by a thumbs up emoji.
Penny tried her hardest not to smile as it annoyed her when Leonard gave her thumbs up after sex or when she just coming out of the shower. But also she wanted to cry because Leonard believed in her being successful as an actress. "Um actually I didn't go." She replied as she bit her bottom lip wondering what Leonard would say.
L:" Where are you?"
Penny frowned thinking that was a weird question to ask but she replied back. "At the park near our apartment. By the pond. Why do you ask?"
L: "I know you better than you think I do. Don't leave, will be there soon...Please?"
Penny sighed knowing Leonard was in his way to the rescue to make her feel better. It slightly annoyed her because he could, yet grateful he did. Even before they began to date and was just having fun in New York. She could have been the worst day, and without his knowledge Leonard would just cheer her up by the smallest gestures. Her therapist was right, Leonard to come into her life when she needed him the most, because she was so close dating those abusive and demanding guys again.
What many people did not know, except her therapist, was a week before Leonard, she met this guy Jeff, a photographer. He was tall and handsome, along with being rich from his parents fortune. She was tired of feeling alone and things did not work out with the long distance relationship with the sweet Zach. They were just having fun until he started asking to send him nude photos of herself. Or would take pictures of her nude while she slept. When Penny found she was pissed but quickly dismissed it as he would grab her hard and told her, she was his and could do whatever he wanted to do to her.
The night she met Leonard and hung out with him that whole early morning, Penny blocked Jeff from her phone. She deleted every photo of him or them together. Later that day, she went to his studio with her baseball bat and told him she was not his in front of his co-workers and his fiance, which she had no clue he had. Then proceed to tell him he comes near her she would go all Nebraskan on his ass as she pounded the bat into her hand.
That day she was quite proud of herself and when Leonard agreed to see her again and him telling her that his girlfriend broke up with him, she was happy but leery he was not telling her the truth about Priya. But as Leonard provided the truth and was happy she met him. Now she was in a relationship with that man.
"Penny?" Leonard said sitting next to her and putting his hand on her knee. Which drew Penny out of her thoughts.
"Hey you!" Penny pulled her boyfriend into a hug and gave him a quick kiss on the lips as he held a concern look on his face.
Leonard relaxed he now too was holding Penny and gave into her kiss. As he slowly pulled away, he asked, "So what happened?" as he browed his eyes.
"Read this." Is all she told him as she reached for the letter she write earlier. Penny then placed it in Leonard's hand. She then sat there as he had now a confused look on his face and read the letter to himself.
Penny closed her eyes remembering what exactly what she wrote to her boyfriend.
"Dear Leonard,
I'm not very good with expressing my emotions until it comes to my past. I am sorry for my past and that making me not perfect. And thank you for not judging me on my past. But yet somehow you see me perfect and will probably never understand why.
My past doesoes fear me for our future and our child's. But I need to stop with the fear because you are the best.
We might not see eye to eye on things and we may argue. But we make up and you make sure we talk afterwards.
We have different things in common but yet always have fun in the end.
You make me laugh even though I claim you are not that funny. Just you a d Sheldon fighting over the silliest things is one of many that make me laugh.You make my heart race when you do the simplest things. Rose on my car window just because, defending me to your own brother when we barley knew each other, and just recently talking to our baby through my stomach are just a few examples. Those small things alone make me love you and make who you are. I am sorry it seems my commitment issues seemed for me to try to push you away and not as romantic as you are. I promise this is something I am and will be working on because you are changing me for to better myself and our baby.
I love you Leoanrd Leaky Hofstadter.
Penny frowned as she saw Leonard cringe. "What the hell...I pour my heart into that letter and you do that!" She yelled taken back from his expression.
Leonard shook his head and scooted closer to her as he defended himself. "No no no. It's not that, just every time I see or hear my middle name it makes me wish my parents never gave me a middle name at all." He said calmly as he smiled at his girlfriend.
Penny relaxed and pulled herself closer to Leonard. "So you like my letter?" She asked.
"Yes, trust me. I loved it. And actually you say you're not as romantic as me. Well this letter right here is pretty darn romantic..." Leonard said holding the letter in front of them as he held her close. "Too be honest my parents could have came up with a better name for me all together. Come on I even have nerd in my name. LeoNARD! While my sister's name is Katherine Jo and my brother's is Michael James... Penny, I've told you we both have messed up past. Yeah yours is with men and I wish everyday I could have met you the first time you moved here to California and tried to save you from all that heartache and abuse. But I swear I was my mother's experiment as soon as I was born. Come on Leonard Leaky...after two scientists. No wonder I am an Experimental physicist..." He let out as he just staired at the pond.
Penny chuckled on how cute he was being. She shifted so she was facing him. Penny took her hand and placed in on Leonard's cheek and helped him turn his head towards her. "Hey, I think your name is perfect. Other wise you wouldn't be you..."
Leonard smiled as Penny told him that and even bigger smile as she leaned in to kiss him. He sighed as once again he gave in and kissed her back.
Leonard called the University to let them know he went home sick and pleaded Raj to bring Sheldon home. But the truth was he just wanted to spend rest of the day with Penny. She opened up about her session with her therapist and he just listened and held her hand as they strolled the park. Then they drove separately to the apartment to drop off her car, so they could go to lunch together. Leonard knew Penny had a long way to go, but was proud of her of the progress she was already making. He knew this was best for her even if he was not a fan of therapy thanks to his mother. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to make an appointment himself as he thought as he watched Penny devour her second egg roll.