Hermione and Severus stayed up very late that evening. For teachers, much of the first "day" of term was spend merely waiting around for the arrival of students in the evening or doing any last minute preparations for classes.
For the most part, she was cuddled up against him. Her physical proximity to him seemed to ground him and steady him, even if he didn't say it. It was something in his body language - the way she could feel him just slightly pushing his body against hers harder, the way his knees moved a fraction to turn forward her more, rather than away from her.
"When you say you've been Occluding for years..." She said quietly. "Doesn't that mean you've not... truly dealt with any of the things you've gone through in life?"
"My chosen method for processing emotions and experiences might look differently than yours, but I assure you that I have very much dealt with much of what I've experienced," He said.
"I'm just... worried," She said. "I suppose I am seeing you seven years into your healing process."
"Be grateful for that," He said with a bit of dark humor. "I was not so put together then. The first year, I was unstable. The second year, I was a husk of a human being. The third year, I cried more than I have ever cried in my life. The fourth year, it started getting better. I assure you I have processed a lot."
She frowned as she leaned against his shoulder. "I realize this marriage has put you back on your heels."
"That is through no fault of yours," He said.
"I..." She said and then quieted herself. She didn't want to risk him thinking she was pitying him again.
"If you start repressing your thoughts now, you might explode," He said dryly.
"I don't pity you," She said firmly, and he stiffened.
"Indeed," He said - his voice dropping low in warning.
"I like you," She said plainly, and he stiffened more. "And liking you means I worry. That's all this is. I worry, and I want to help if I can."
He was quiet for a moment. "Foolish witch," He said and leaned against her more fully. "What do you think you have been doing?"
She smiled against his shoulder. Then, they were silent again, comfortably, and her mind began to drift. "Do you still feel nervous the night before the first day of term?"
"In the years directly before the second war, no. In the very beginning, yes. Now, yes. I usually sleep very little the night before term, and that has been true for my entire career," He said.
"You weren't nervous before the war?"
"I was unable to be called away by the Dark Lord easily whilst school was in session. He knew that, so the summers were... more difficult for me, and the night before term was usually... Especially so," Severus said. "The start of term was a relief."
She closed her eyes. How many times had she dreaded seeing Professor Snape at the Head Table at the start of term while he sat before the student body having just been tortured the night before? She nuzzled her head into his shoulder, and he lifted his arm. She leaned forward and he wrapped his arm around her waist. It was rare that he would initiate physical proximity or intimacy, but he did so just then with total confidence and not one ounce of hesitation. His hand rested on her waist as she leaned her head against his chest. She could hear his heart thumping.
"I am sure you are nervous," He said after awhile.
"Yes," She said.
"You will do well in this career, Hermione," He said. "You are a natural teacher."
"I haven't even taught yet," She chuckled.
"You have been helping to teach other students since you were 11," He said plainly, and pulled her closer into his body. "You are compassionate and knowledgeable."
"Careful, Severus. Keep complimenting me like that and there will be no living with me," She teased him.
"You are also insufferable," He grumbled, but his thumb rubbed her waist over her shirt affectionately. She leaned up and kissed his cheek, and she smiled as he leaned his head down to elongate the contact. When he got out of his own way, he truly was a nice partner.
She stared at him, and then glanced at the clock. It was nearly one in the morning. "We should probably head to bed." He tensed next to her and she furrowed her brow. She leaned away from him and stood, and he followed her action. "What's wrong?" He shook his head, and then met her gaze. There was heat and desire behind his eyes. She smirked. "Bed?"
"Yes," He said lowly. His dark eyes glittering in want.
Then, she grabbed his face and pulled it to crash his mouth against her own. He met her with frenzied and unbridled passion. She jumped up, wrapping her legs around his waist, and he wrapped his hands around her, holding her tightly to him.
Her mouth moved to his neck, and he groaned. He took a step backward and was meeting a blood curdling screech from Crookshanks. Hermione jumped out of his arms as they both searched for the cat. Severus lifted his foot off the half-Kneazle's tail as the furry orange beast hissed at him.
"Oh, Crooks, are you okay, love?" Hermione said and bent down to pet him, but the cat dodged her hand and strutted away in irritation.
Severus was apparently not willing to be deterred as his hands found her waist and he pulled her against him again. These kisses started slowly, more tender, but quickly built to a fiery passion. Her hands combed through his hair and he practically purred under her fingers. She broke the kiss, grabbed his hand, and pulled him toward the bedroom.
He pulled her shirt over her head as she did the same to him. He pulled her close to him, and his slender fingers undid her bra clasp with the ease. He sighed heavily as her bare chest pressed against his. There were few moments where she saw how touch starved he was outside of the bedroom, but it was always apparent in these moments. His hands roamed her bare skin, and he clung to her. He would never allow himself to be so clingy in any other context, but she loved that he showed it here.
Stepping out of their pants and underwear, they fell to the bed. Their hands roamed each other's bodies, teasing and tempting, and then he grew impatient. He rolled on top of her, one hand tangling into her hair as he moved somewhat clumsily between her legs. His inexperience was endearing. He guided himself inside her and shuddered. She looked up at him above her. He was still, and his eyes were closed. He looked happy, which most people would be to be having sex, but it wasn't the sex for Severus, and she knew it. It was relationship, and intimacy, and touch. She reached up and pushed her hands back through his hair so that she could see his face clearly. He opened his eyes and stared into hers unabashedly. She reached up and kissed him on the mouth lightly, and he pushed impossibly deeper inside of her gently. He watched as she arched her neck at the added pressure.
When she opened her eyes, she saw him staring at her with a look of pure wonder. He leaned down and kissed her forehead, and then her mouth, before nuzzling his face into her neck as he began to thrust inside of her. It wasn't long before he was pulling her over the edge, and then not much longer before he pulled out and spilled himself on her stomach. Then, he cleaned them, and they dressed. Her breathing evened our first as her body lay curled against his back, and her arm around his waist. He acted so indifferent to her cuddling, but he relished the contact. He traced his long fingers over her hand on him. He thought briefly that he might be able to do better at allowing things to be more natural between them and to stop mistrusting everything, but that was something for the morning. Sleep didn't take much longer to find him.