A/N: Whew, so it's been a minute since I updated. I apologise for the long wait but I just haven't been writing as much lately, I can confirm that I have no intention of abandoning this story, just know that it's gonna take a while to finish and you'll have to bear with through the slow periods. Enjoy!
Saturday 15th February The sixth years remained in the Great Hall after lunch, their apparition lesson for that week had been organised for Saturday at 2PM. James was looking at Sirius with narrowed eyes, Sirius hadn't slept in their dorm last night and when James had bumped into him coming up the stairs in the morning he had smelt distinctly of alcohol and cheap perfume. Now James knew Sirius' vices and these were most definitely alcohol and women. A pang of worry shot through him as he considered what Sirius' mental state must be if he was risking even more school punishment to sneak around shagging girls and getting drunk but he shoved it away with some effort. Looking away from Sirius he turned to Peter. James had found himself sat quite near to him for lunch and the smaller boy had studiously avoided his eyes. As the days passed James found himself more and more tempted to mend bridges with Peter. It hadn't been Peter's idea he reasoned with himself, he had just been going along with Sirius as he had done for most of their friendship. If he wasn't relying on Sirius and tagging along with him, he was tagging along with James. He was just naturally more of a follower than a leader and yes, James could admit that Peter often stroked his or Sirius' ego. But he did value him as a friend for his surprising good ideas and sense of humour. A part of James was shocked that Peter hadn't attempted to come and speak to him or Remus since The 'Prank' and word in the corridors was that Peter had been hanging around a lot with his transfiguration partner- Slytherin beauty Miranda Tollwood, James didn't know how he felt about that.
He was shaken from his thoughts as the wispy Wilkie Twycross walked into the Great Hall, his flyaway fair hair hovering around his face with a life of its own, Dumbledore smiling serenely beside him. The students stood up from their benches as Dumbledore waved his wand and the benches and tables scooted to the sides of the hall, one unfortunate student landing hard on their bum as the bench they had been sat on zoomed to the walls of the hall before they had stood up. The customary hoops were spread through the hall with Twycross giving his usual 'three D's' speech which was completely unhelpful. They were almost halfway through their apparition course by now and there had been several splinchings and zero successful apparitions from the sixth year contingent. Lily found herself set up in a hoop not far from James and she looked intently at the hoop she was meant to be appearing in. Her mind cast to James' descriptions of the importance of intent and will in casting spells, that theory seemed to be at the heart of Twycross' terrible explanations. Lily focused on her hoop and its surroundings- the edge of her hoop touched the line between two flagstones; the flagstone behind it had a small crack in it; Peter Pettigrew's back was to her, he stood two flagstones behind her hoop. She focused until she could recall her hoop exactly as it was in her mind and she shut her eyes. She had been practicing wandless magic since January and was now able to do most of her first year spells wandlessley, the feel of her magic came to her very easily and she summoned it up. She let it infuse her whole body and pictured in her mind her hoop with her in it- that was where she wanted to be, and then she turned, releasing her magic.
Lily thought she must have done something wrong and just splinched herself terribly because she felt like she was being suffocated, stretched and compressed all at the same time. The feeling passed momentarily and she opened her eyes, gasping for breath, her hands on her knees. She felt like she was about to throw up, her eyes found a surprised James Potter. He was grinning at her, and that was weird, he was now diagonal to her when he had been next to her.
"You did it!" He exclaimed. "You look like you're about to throw up, but you did it!" He walked towards her, conjuring a bucket and handing it to her, Lily took it gratefully.
"Fantastic work!" Cried Twycross, appearing next to James, making him jump. The instructor examined Lily, checking she had all of her body parts. "And you didn't even splinch yourself!" Lily promptly threw up into the bucket. Twycross' smile didn't falter. "Well, yes. Unfortunately nausea is a common side effect of a first successful apparition. Now tell me, Miss?"
"Evans." James answered for her, as she was still gagging. "Lily Evans."
"And what house is Miss Evans in?" Twycross asked James.
"Gryffindor."
"10 points to Gryffindor for being the first to successfully apparate!" James grinned and a pale Lily vanished the puke-filled bucket after rinsing her mouth out with a glass of water provided by Twycross. The Slytherins looked mutinous at the muggleborn's success, Lily ignored them and managed a weak smile at James as he squeezed her shoulder.
"How did you do it?" He asked quietly. "I can't figure it out." Lily explained to him what she'd done and he listened thoughtfully.
"So it's like you were preparing to cast a spell?" Lily nodded. James met Peter's eyes, the shorter boy had been listening to Lily's explanation and jerked away as if burned when he met James' gaze. James frowned but let it go. By the end of Saturday's session James, Sirius and Frank had also managed it as well as two Slytherins, three Ravenclaws and two Hufflepuffs. Remus gave James a high five as they exited the hall after the session. Lily was in front of them surrounded by her girlfriends as they all asked her for tips, James spotted Peter again out of the corner of his eye.
"Remus…" he began uncertainly. "Listen, are you still mad at Peter? I've just been thinking of talking to him lately…" Remus' expression shuttered and James sighed. "I'm sorry, forget I said anything."
"No." Remus said, shaking his head. "Prongs, I appreciate you staying by me more than I can say, especially since I injured you so badly. But I can tell how hard this has been for you." James ran a hand through his hair. "I'm not going to be making any first moves towards either of them. I need a bit more time and even if that's enough, they need to come to me. But if you want to try and talk to them, don't feel you need to hold back because of me."
James looked at him, expression conflicted. "Are you sure, mate?" Remus nodded, James clapped him on the shoulder and moved over towards Peter.
"Peter," The shorter boy turned to him, eyebrows raised in surprise. James walked over, his hands in his pockets. "Listen, can we talk?" He said uncertainly. Peter nodded and they made their way into a small chamber off the entrance hall.
"Alright, Prongs?" Peter asked hesitantly.
"I've been better." James shrugged.
"Remus still pissed?" James nodded. "And how about you?"
James sighed. "I'm still mad at Sirius but I reckon I should hear you out." To be honest with himself, James had expected Peter to attempt and talk to him already, he'd been surprised when Peter had kept to himself and stayed away from Sirius as well as James and Remus. Peter fixed James with an intent blue-eyed gaze.
"I dunno what you want me to say, James. It was a stupid joke that got way out of hand and we're paying for it but it was only a matter of time."
James frowned. "What was only a matter of time?"
Peter gestured around himself. "Us. This. The marauders." That didn't make anything clearer to James.
"Let's be real, James. Look at us, like as actual individuals. We're only friends because we live in the same dorm room. It was bound to end at some point." James took a step back, a surge of hurt flying through him at Peter's words.
"What is that supposed to mean?" Asked James, his upset adding an unintended bite to his words. "You're saying you don't think we'd be friends except for that?"
Peter sighed. "James, I don't want to fight I just mean that I'm not putting myself in the middle of this. It was Sirius' stupid idea, and yes, I went along with it like an idiot, and I'm sorry for what happened but I think it's between you, Remus and him. Maybe this is the end of us. And maybe it was a long time coming." He trailed off, sighing again as James looked on, confused and upset. "Maybe, once this is all sorted between you three, we can go back to how we were, and I don't hold anything against you or Remus. So if you guys can forgive me, by all means let's still be friends but I don't want any part in choosing sides. I appreciate you coming to talk to me, mate." He clapped James on the arm. "I've got to go to the library though and do some transfiguration. Are we good?"
"Sure." James said, distracted.
"Cool. I'll see you around then." And with that Peter walked away. James watched him as he went, he wasn't fully sure what had just happened but felt a vague sense of horror, anger and sadness. Had Peter just walked away from the marauders? Walked away from him, as if the last six years hadn't happened? Was this the end of the marauders? James felt cold at the thought, it couldn't be… A dark pang of hopelessness engulfed him and with slumped shoulders and his hands buried in his pockets he walked slowly towards the Common Room.
Saturday 22nd February 1977 Lily cast a sidelong glance at James where he was sat next to her at the Gryffindor table at lunch. In the last week she had sat next to him at 15 meals, walked with him to various classes on all five days, worked on their transfiguration project twice and spoken to him every day but had only managed to make him laugh four times. She muffled a sigh, a sad James Potter was just wrong. Before this had all happened it had been easy to make him laugh, he was naturally a happy person and this was just weird.
The cuts on his face had healed well, the only sign they had been there at all were the very faint scars that were only visible in bright lighting and he pushed his food around his plate.
She nudged him. "Do you fancy coming with me to the owlery once you're done, I've got some letters to deliver." He gave her a half-hearted smile and nodded. Not long later they had stood up from the table and made their way out.
"Anything exciting?" James asked in an effort to make conversation as he pointed towards the letters in her hand.
Lily's face fell slightly. "Just letters to the family back home. Petunia hasn't been replying to me lately, but I figured I'd try one last time." She shrugged.
"I'm sorry to hear that." James commiserated, "that sucks."
Lily smiled sadly. "You would've thought I'd be used to it by now… I just really felt like we were off to a good start at the beginning of the year and now she's just given up on me again…" She shivered slightly as they passed the draughty windows on the fourth floor, the February wind whistling as it rushed past.
"She's family though." James said thoughtfully. "It should be different. If I had a sibling, like a real one-" James cut himself off wincing at his choice of phrase, Lily caught his eyes, she knew he'd been talking about Sirius, James and him had been as good as brothers before this whole thing happened even if they weren't real brothers. "I just think as your sister, she shouldn't be writing you off so quickly."
Lily held his gaze. "Well, some people say that friends are the family you choose."
James sighed. "Well, according to some people they never had much of a choice." Lily frowned at him. "I tried to mend things with Peter." James began to explain, looking away from her to the staircase in front of him. "And he told me that he thought the marauders falling apart was just a matter of time and that we were all only friends because we were in the same dorm room."
There was a pregnant pause as Lily digested this.
"That's bullshit." She said abruptly and angrily, James looked at her in surprise. "That's complete crap. You guys were close, that doesn't happen just because you live together, there has to be something there between people that you can build a friendship on. Do you know what I mean? Just look at the other dorms in the castle- the Ravenclaw girls aren't half as close as you are. Half of them are best friends with that group of Slytherin girls and the other half with the Hufflepuff girls. You guys are close for a whole host of reasons."
"People change though…"
"Yeah they do, they change and people make mistakes and do stupid things. They improve themselves and then let themselves be bent back into the shape they used to be before undoing it once again. Shit happens." She shrugged. "I think people can change on many levels, but fundamentally, at their core, they stay the same."
"Well that's a contradiction if I ever heard one."
"Doesn't make it any less true though." Lily said with finality. James looked at her pensively as they continued their walk through the near empty castle, most students taking refuge in the warmth of their common rooms. They were on the seventh floor and about to climb the stairs to the owlery before James spoke again.
"I'm guessing you think I should try and talk to Sirius, then."
She looked at him for a long moment. "I think when you're ready you should give him a chance." James sighed. "You're both miserable, James."
"He can't just get away with it."
"Trust me." Lily looked at him intently. "He's paying for it. He really is." They trailed off into companionable silence as they entered the owlery. Lily hunched her shoulders as she called her owl Athena down to her. James let out a low whistle, holding his arm out for his own owl Merlin to land on his arm. He stroked Merlins feathers gently as he watched Lily.
"I'm sorry about this weather, girl." Lily said softly to her owl. "It's miserable, I know. If you time it right though mum will give you a bit of her dinner when you arrive." Athena hooted, looking imperiously at her owner. James smiled softly as he watched Lily continue to earnestly address her owl. It was cold in the owlery and a damp wind rushing though the open space whipped her red hair out behind her in vibrant waves. She reached into the pocket of her hooded sweatshirt and gave Athena an owl treat. Merlin pushed his face into James' cheek demanding his strokes be continued- James had stopped petting him without noticing as he watched Lily. Lily glanced back up at James as he resumed stroking Merlin. She smiled bashfully, gesturing to her owl.
"Sometimes I need to reason with her, she can be a right madam about flying in bad weather." She nuzzled the bird affectionately. "She doesn't like her feathers to get ruffled, but mum always spoils her when she flies home so I'm sure she'll be fine."
James grinned, the playful simplicity of the moment in the stinking owlery easing some of the weight that had settled in his chest since The 'Prank'. Was she ever going to know how much she meant to him? He had moved far past infatuation a long time ago and he felt a deep and slightly horrifying certainty that he was in love with Lily Evans. Oh god… James smothered the thought down.
"She just likes to know what she signed up for." He said casually. Lily smiled as she attached her letters to the carrier bird and James swore to himself he needed to remember this moment so he could draw it later.
"I guess you're right." She carried Athena over to one of the arches and with a final stroke threw her gracefully into the air, she watched for a moment before turning back around.
"Thanks for walking up with me."
"Of course." James said. She walked over and began to stroke Merlin who hopped down James' arm to get closer. James rolled his eyes. "Merlin here is a fickle friend who gets jealous easily and is a slut for strokes." Lily laughed, tickling the bird under the chin as he wriggled into her.
"It's freezing up here." James nodded and shoved Merlin on to a perch. Merlin huffed at James who waved to the owl as he retreated to a more sheltered perch and they made their way back to Gryffindor Tower.
"I wonder if that fog bank has been cleared from the tower yet." James asked, making conversation as they walked once more. When the Gryffindors had left for breakfast that morning they had been greeted with a fog bank that had smelled suspiciously like dung bombs and almost obscured the whole corridor. In the lack of pranks due to the fight between the marauders many smaller groups of students had taken it upon themselves to try their own hand at pranking. Although most of these attempts had failed, the prank upon the Gryffindors had been the first successful one, much to their chagrin. They talked companionably until they reached the tower where there was a loud crowd of angry students.
"What's going on here?" Lily asked a nearby prefect as they drew closer.
"That fog bank cleared and some snake has graffitied the whole wall opposite the portrait hole!" Came the irate reply. James frowned as he craned his neck to see over the crowd, finally a tall student moved to the side and he got his first glimpse at the wall.
A stretch of the wall, about three metres across and reaching to the ceiling had been completely painted black, a large luminous skull floated in the middle with a snake slithering out of its mouth, the paint was enchanted with the snake oscillating menacingly as the skull swayed.
"Someone's painted the bloody dark mark on the wall opposite the Fat Lady." He said by way of explanation to Lily, who was still struggling to see.
"As in the mark the death eaters put over the places they attack?" Panic laced her tone.
"It's got to be a joke." Came a voice from the crowd.
"Or a threat."
"Are we in danger?"
"Who could've done this?"
"-Can't be death eaters in the school can there?"
Panic was rising in the crowd and Lily conjured herself a box to stand on. "Ok! Everybody calm down!" She shouted over the crowd. "Get back into the Common Room. Dumbledore and McGonagall will be informed. C'mon now, you're blocking up the corridor. Any prefects in the crowd stay behind please." It took a few minutes but the discomfited crowd eventually made their way into the Tower with many questions being shouted to a distressed Fat Lady who could only insist over and over again that she hadn't seen anything because of the fog, didn't hear anything and was as shocked as anyone else when the graffiti appeared. Lily was addressing the two prefects who had been in the crowd and James took the opportunity to move closer to the vandalised wall. It was an ugly piece of work. He drew his wand and began casting as many cleaning and reversing spells as he knew, frowning when nothing worked. Lily sent the two prefects off to McGonagall's office to alert her to what had happened.
"You can't get it off?" She stepped towards James.
"I didn't really expect to, to be honest. Nothing is happening no matter what I cast."
Lily ran a hand over the wall. "It could be a potion mixed in with the paint…"
"Or enchanted to last a specific amount of time."
Lily crossed her arms across herself protectively. "Why, though?"
James shrugged. "To scare people… to send a message maybe?"
Lily looked at the wall speculatively a small shiver stealing over her. "It's freaky… It'll come off though, right?"
"I guess we'll see what Dumbledore and McGonagal think." James scowled at the wall as he waited with Lily for the headmaster to come. A short wile later they appeared, sweeping around the corner, an apoplectic Filch was trailing them his face flushed and ugly and the prefects trotting along behind them.
"What on earth…" The head of Gryffindor began as she took in the scene.
"Look at my wall!" Screeched Filch, "look at this mess! When we find the perpetrators headmaster, let me 'ave em! I'll teach 'em a thing to two about vandalising the castle!"
"Argus, calm yourself please." Implored the headmaster and at a cue from him Lily quickly gave the two professors a run down of the series of events with the Fat Lady adding in a few comments here and there. Professor Dumbledore's face was grave as he took it in, after a few moments of scrutiny he withdrew his wand and waved it over the wall, muttering a few spells. James examined his strange looking wand as he did so, it was the oddest wand he'd ever seen- it was very long and pale with some strange knobs marring it.
"Interesting." The old professor finally said. James snapped his attention away from the wand as it disappeared into the headmaster's voluminous mauve robes. "I cannot seem to find a spell to remove it," he turned to the students and gave them a reassuring smile, "I will alert Professor Slughorn of the situation and he can try and sample it and run some tests so we can remove it."
"I'll give those students in detention a few hours at it with some magical mess remover and we'll see what happens!" Growled the caretaker.
Professor McGonagall fixed Filch with a look. "I'm not sure it would make much difference Argus, if the headmaster cannot seem to remove it." She said curtly.
"Will you search the dormitories, Professor?" Asked James before the caretaker could start a rant. "See if you can find the paint that was used?"
"I doubt the perpetrators left any evidence but yes, I suppose a dormitory search would be prudent."
"You'd better start before the board of governors gets wind of what's happened." Muttered Professor McGonagall, looking away when both James and Lily looked at her.
"You're right Minerva," Dumbledore announced, "Argus, Minerva- with me please. We'll call a staff meeting. Miss Evans." He turned to Lily. "Five points each to you and your two other prefects for bringing this to my attention, now back to your Common Room please." And with that he strode away.
Thursday 27 February 1977 The ominous artwork was the talk of the castle for the week, with accusations being thrown around willy nilly and more than one fight breaking out over it. The searches of all the dorms had given up no clues and the faculty were no closer to finding either the perpetrator, or a way to remove the vandalism. After their anger had faded the Gryffindors grew desensitised to it, well most of them anyway.
"Stupid bullshit mural." Growled Sirius Black as he stubbed his cigarette out on the paintwork, disappointed yet again when it still didn't do anything to get rid of the foul painting. James grinned slightly as he witnessed it as he walked around the corner.
"Glad I'm not the only one who still hates it." He said conversationally. Sirius whirled around, his eyes wide with surprise at the voice. Fuck. James thought. I'm still not meant to be talking to him. Stupid, stupid, stupid. James wiped the small grin away as quickly as it had arrived.
"Yeah," Sirius said, in what he hoped was a nonchalant tone, "I can't believe how quickly people got used to it." James met his gaze for the first time in a long time, his face was stubbly and he looked dishevelled. Sirius took a step towards his old friend. "Listen, James."
James wrinkled his nose and took a step back. "Bloody hell, why do you smell like alcohol?" Sirius' face paled before his familiar arrogant smirk made itself at home on his mouth.
"I just got a bit crazy last night and forgot to put a clean shirt on this morning is all."
James gave him a suspicious look and Sirius stepped back again. "I'll see you around, James." He said making his way towards the Fat Lady and giving the password. Sirius shook his head and face palmed as he entered the Common Room. Stupid, stupid, stupid. James' eyes followed him as the Fat Lady swung closed again and let out a weary sigh as he fixed the Dark Mark with a hateful look.
"You know what," he said out loud, "I'm getting sick of seeing this every day." He fumbled in the pockets of his robes and found a self inking quill and a slightly scruffy piece of parchment. "It's about time the scene changed. Fuck this." A plan hatching in his mind, he scribbled a letter and made his way to the owlery.
Tuesday 4th March 1977 Lily grumbled as she elbowed her way through a crowd which had gathered yet again outside the portrait hole.
"What the hell is going on?" Asked an irate Alice who was walking next to her red-headed friend.
"What the hell?" Dorcas frowned as the crowd moved and her height allowed her a look at what they were gawking at. "The painting has changed," she explained as her smaller friends peppered her with questions.
"It's been painted over." Exclaimed Marlene, a grin stealing over her face as she pushed a younger student out of the way, "and it looks bloody good!" Lily finally got a look at the wall and grinned as she took it in. The dark black which had made up the background had been painted over to convey a sunset, or maybe a sunrise. Deep reds and golds lanced out from the intricately painted sun which shone opposite the dark mark. Imposing clouds floated across the top of the stretch of wall and green fields and hills had been painted along the bottom, diminishing its darkness. The most striking feature of the touch up though was the painted Phoenix which had been animated somehow to be shown swooping down on the oscillating snake and snatching it from the mouth of the green skull. With a flap of its wings the snake burst into golden-white flame, its ashes falling on the skull and setting it alight as well. The Phoenix alighted on a hill and preened itself as a lion, badger and raven guarded it protectively. The snake and skull would reform to the growls and raised hackles of the Hogwarts mascots and the phoenix would take flight again to incinerate it once more.
Lily looked at it in wonderment. "I like this one better."
Alice's eyes seemed bright as she took it in and she looked around the crowd for someone, not finding whoever it was she was looking for she settled on a private smile. "It's beautiful."
The addition to the vandalism did nothing to appease Filch although Professor Dumbledore did seem in a rather jovial mood that morning at breakfast. Gossip and rumours abounded once more throughout the castle with betting pools started on who the secret artist was. At dinner a sleepy James Potter, who looked almost as knackered as Remus did, was announcing the odds that it was Professor McGonagall whilst Remus himself was taking bets on Filch. Lily was pleased to see the two boys chatting with Peter Pettigrew although Remus did so much more coolly than James, she was glad they were starting to mend the friendships between them even if she harboured some anger over the self-doubt that Peter's words had instilled in James. Lily was about to place her own bet when she stopped dead. James' shirt sleeve had been pushed up as he ate and a splodge of gold paint disappeared under his cuff. Her mind flashed back to the sketch she had found in their transfiguration notes and she turned to Alice to announce her suspicions. The shorter girl was watching her cousin with a fond smile on her face as he charismatically entertained his nearby peers and the Hufflepuffs on the table next to them despite the circles under his eyes. Was James Potter the painter? She shut her mouth with a snap as she debated this. If anyone could confirm if it had indeed been James who painted over the graffiti, it would be Remus Lupin, and Lily had rounds with him that evening, the full moon was coming up on the weekend and tonight was the last night Remus was able to patrol before he got too ill, Lily would try and get a confession from him as they walked.
James stifled a yawn as he slouched in his chair as he finished some arithmancy questions.
"Hey." Came a quiet voice and James met familiar grey eyes. Sirius was clean shaven and smelt a lot better than he had earlier in the week, James tensed as he looked at him. "That was a great prank." Sirius said genuinely as he bobbed his head in the direction of the portrait hole and the wall beyond it. "A beautiful way to defy those junior Death eaters."
"Thanks." James said carefully, the stubborn warmth of camaraderie rising up in him once more. Sirius nodded and continued making his way out of the Common Room, James watched, an unbearable wave of weariness washing over him at the state of their friendship. He was bloody exhausted trying to stay mad at him. He called his name, crossing his arms across himself protectively. Sirius turned, swallowing down the small bubble of hope that floated through his chest.
"I'm still not happy with you," James said hesitantly, "but I think I'm ready to try and sort things out between us, I'll need some more time though." Sirius smiled as he unconsciously straightened at James' words.
"Of course." They nodded at each other, not wanting to push his luck, Sirius turned around and left, his grin widening as he turned away from James, pushing away the urge to leap up and pump his fist- he saved it for the empty corridor outside the portrait hole.
A/N: And there we go! Hello to readers new and old and thanks for your reviews, your interest and your follows and favourites. As always, please leave a review to let me know what you thought of the chapter and what you think might happen. Thanks for reading!