The end of a relationship is not always a failure. Sometimes all the love in the world is not enough to save something. In these cases, it is not a matter of fault from either person. Some things cannot be, it's as simple as that.

— Ashly Lorenzana

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Chapter Twenty-Four

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{o}-{o}-{o}

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Mox said nothing until he heard the sounds of Sefa heading downstairs. When he was satisfied no one could hear them, he looked at Alexa. "How are you doing?"

"A lot better than you." She sounded half bitter half contrite. "Mox, I don't know what happened and I feel just awful."

"You know what happened," he said, wishing she was closer, just so he could put his hand over hers and comfort her. "Suzie decided she'd had enough of Timmy and his advice and kicked the shit out of him. Thinking about it now, I'm shocked it didn't happen sooner."

"Why didn't you fight back?" She moved the chair closer to Mox, but he was sure it was to give them extra privacy. "Don't tell me it was some code of chivalry, this wasn't some bullshit thing where I slapped you with my white glove and it would be crass for you to reciprocate because I'm a lady, this was me trying to-" she hesitated as if she was afraid to say the rest, then blurted it out, "kill you."

"I know," he said. "But I don't believe Alexa wanted to kill Mox, I think Suzie wanted to kill Timmy." He shrugged. "I just had to take the damage."

"Stop being nice!" Mox could hear the pain and frustration in her voice. "I knew you'd be nice about it. I just knew it. Don't be, I don't deserve it. I almost killed you, you should be pissed off. You should want to kill me. You should want me to fall off the earth, or at least want to tell me off! Why are you nice? I don't deserve nice. You should have been fighting me off! If not the first night, but after that. But you kept letting me abuse you and then fuck you!"

"Yeah, but you've got to admit, it was pretty good sex," Mox said, unable to resist a grin. He couldn't see it, but he knew it was a Mox grin. I've gotten stronger he thought. Physically, I'm still weak, but mentally, I'm not just becoming Timmy around her.

"Stop it, or I'm going to want to hit you again!" Alexa was angry, amused and sad, all three emotions flickering across her face. Mox wasn't sure he'd ever seen anyone feel those three things at once.

"Sorry," Mox said, even though he really wasn't. "Look, I had some serious thinking time at the hospital once they stopped giving me the really strong painkillers. Even though my family hovered around me, I still had time to think. And, I think I realize what happened." He paused to see if she'd ask, which she didn't, but she did nod, giving him permission to continue. "Alexa is a fighter. So is Suzie. Mox is a fighter. But Timmy isn't, at least not when it comes to Suzie. And he can't see you as anyone but Suzie."

"There you go, blaming yourself again-"

"Yeah, but it's the truth," Mox said. "Suzie has every right to be furious at Timmy. Timmy might have done what he could to make it… better, but he also forced Suzie into a horrible situation. You gave Timmy permission, but he still raped you. You were only given a choice between two horrible situations. And I didn't even save you from either of them. They still came down and took you that second night. They took you upstairs and I wasn't there, but I know what happened, they gang raped you. Then they brought you back to Timmy and Timmy tried to make it up to you by being as gentle as he could. But no matter how you twist it, how much we both tried to twist it, it was rape. And what sucks is we were both powerless. There was no hero to burst through the walls and save us. It happened and there is no taking it back."

She opened her mouth to speak, then closed it again, needing a moment to think. Her shoulders sank and she sighed. "I don't know if you're right or not, but it feels like the truth. Do you agree with your father and the rest of the family, we can't be a couple?"

Mox looked at the ceiling, needed to draw his strength for this one. "I wish I could say we can overcome this, but we can't," he said. "I can't get over the guilt, you can't get over the anger. I love you. I don't think I can ever stop loving you, but I think we both have to face it, the romance is never going to work between the two of us. When we're apart, we can control Suzie and Timmy, but when we get together…" Mox paused, swallowing several times. He had told himself over and over again, he wasn't going to get emotional about this. His mind knew this was the best thing to do.

But his heart was another matter, and no matter how he tried to fight it off, it kept creeping up and trying to get involved in this matter. "…we can't. I can't stop acting like everything you do to me, especially when you hurt me, is something I deserve." He paused to wipe his eyes. Her own eyes were shining with tears as well, and he avoided looking at her, knowing they would both start crying. "I didn't fight back when you lost it on me, because I think the part of me that's Timmy was glad it was happening, glad you were finally punishing me the way I really deserved for the part I played."

"I don't want to hurt you," Alexa said, and he heard the tears in her voice.

"I know," Mox said. "But Suzie does and I don't blame her."

"I-I don't want to lose you," Alexa said. "I get what you're saying, I understand that we might fail as a couple, but that doesn't mean I want to have to avoid you!"

"It won't." Mox said and that he was sure of. "It might take a bit, but we'll move away from this. We'll stop giving Suzie and Timmy a chance to run the show. With any hope, we'll eventually find people we can have a physical relationship with as Mox and Alexa. Someone we never want to hurt or to be hurt by."

"Like Raven?"

Now Mox smiled. "You're never going to get over her, are you? Raven and I are never going to be a couple. We're buddies. After Roman, and Seth, she's my best friend. She sorta represents to me the childhood I wish I could have had. Every time we talk about wrestling I think about how great it would have been if she'd been my little sister, how much fun we would have had together. It's innocent. Do I think she's attractive? Yes, I do, but when it comes to romance, she's my sister. Remember when she and McIntyre were making googly eyes at each other?"

Alex shook her head. Well, maybe she didn't see that, he allowed himself. Raven wasn't here that long. "Well, trust me, I sure saw it. I didn't say anything, but I was pissed off at Drew. And it wasn't because I wanted Raven for me, it was because I wanted to pull him aside and tell him if he ever did anything to hurt her, I would make his life a living hell.. But I couldn't do it, because all they did was make cow eyes at each other. They never even went out for pizza. But, I just know that they are going to bump into each other in the future and I won't be there, and they'll probably make more than googly eyes at each other and I won't be there to tell him he'd better not hurt her."

He dared to look at her again, and she was smiling, but her expression grew serious. "What do we do now?" she asked. "You're not going to be healed overnight. We'll have to see each other at the camp."

"We deal," he said. "We'll likely try to avoid each other because it will be so damned awkward. We'll learn to wave in passing, and eventually, when things settle down, we learn to be decent around each other. We'll be almost like every other couple who broke up in an amicable way."

"Do you think this is amicable?"

"I do," Mox said. "I hope you do, too. Maybe not today, but I hope you realize that this is for the best, even if we don't want it to be. And I want you to do what my father wants, I want you to stay here. To keep the apartment, keep working, keep training. Because you are that good. I want to see you in WWE someday. I want to be part of the main roster and watch you walk in one day and tell me you've signed a contract. I want to watch you wrestle from backstage. I want to see you draped in gold, and it's more than just a pipe dream, you have the chops to make it happen."

"Okay," she said, and stood up. "Uh, I have to get going."

She didn't say why, but he was pretty sure she wanted to be alone, to cry over this loss. He couldn't fault her, he'd done the same thing. Maybe he hadn't sobbed, but he'd had plenty of tears roll down his cheeks. "Before you go," he said, "can I ask you for one thing?"

"What?"

"Could you kiss me?" He felt silly asking and knew his cheeks were turning red, but he didn't care. "Not as Suzie kissed Timmy that first night we spent in the house, where you almost cut my lips. I want you to kiss me like we're Alexa and Mox. And we just got home from a date and both of us know we'll never work as a couple, but we like each other enough to end the date with a kiss."

She thought he was going to refuse, but she came over and sat down on the bed. Mindful of his injuries, the two of them gently wrapped their arms around each other and kissed. It was bittersweet and wonderful. Now I know what it's like to kiss her he thought. Not Suzie, but Alexa.

When they drew apart, neither said anything, she simply left the room.

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Shortly after she left, Roman came into the room. "Move over," he ordered Mox, motioning to the bed, where Mox was sitting right in the middle, staring off into space. When he did as Roman asked, Roman stretched out, having already kicked off his slippers. The head was raised so Mox could watch TV. Roman grabbed an extra pillow, put it behind his head, then grabbed the remote from the bedside table. He flicked through the channels until he found an old, black and white movie playing on one of the classic movie channels.

Mox was pretty sure the movie wasn't picked based on preference, it was chosen because it was just starting. "Why aren't you spending time with May?" he asked, although he suspected the answer.

"We're not glued at the hip," Roman responded. "She had things to do. So, I thought I'd hang out with you. Mom's watching the Hallmark channel downstairs and I hate that crap and you've got the only other TV."

You're full of it, Mox thought. May is making sure Alexa is all right. You are making sure I'm all right. And I love you both for it. "What are we watching?"

"I dunno. I was getting comfortable while the name was being shown. But it's got Clark Gable in it, and Mom says every movie with Clark Gable in it is good."

"I think Mom is a little biased because Gable was a pretty good looking guy."

"Yeah, but he's not a bad actor."

They fell into silence as they watched. The movie wasn't bad at all, although Mox would never think it made the top ten of best movies of all time. Clark Gable was playing some reporter guy, and the costar was Claudette Colbert, some spoiled millionaire's daughter, back when having a million dollars meant you were richer than rich. It had some over the top funny bits and it was just enough entertainment so it kept his mind from wandering over what had just happened.

It wasn't until the halfway point, when the station decided to load up on commercials, that Roman spoke. "I'm sorry," he said. "I know you loved her."

"I did," Mox said. "I still do. I know she and I are bad for each other, it makes sense, but it still hurts."

"Yeah."

Mox half expected him to elaborate with some philosophical bullshit about how it was better to have loved and lost, or that sometimes, doing the right thing wasn't always what you wanted to do, but you did it anyway. Or, maybe even some platitude about how it was good for both of them, so he shouldn't feel sorry for Alexa. She'd be fine. But, Roman said nothing. A commercial for coffee came on, that hinted that just a sniff would make a grumpy person instantly awake and refreshed. A group of clean cut men singing a Capella in the background gleefully informing the audience that the best part about waking up in the morning was having this particular coffee in your cup. There was a time when Mox would have agreed, but his coffee tastes had improved since then, and no, that particular brand was not the best part of waking up. He opened his mouth to tell Roman the commercial was bullshit, but what came out had nothing to do with coffee. "I guess it's back to a life of celibacy again. Too bad, because I was really starting to enjoy that sex stuff."

He kept his eyes on the TV screen, but he could hear Roman turning his head to look at him, feel his gaze upon him. "Maybe for awhile, but you'll find someone."

"That's what I told Alexa but I don't know if that's true or not." He turned his head now to face his brother. "At least with Alexa, we both knew, you know? We didn't have to explain how we knew certain things, we knew how. Yeah, the beating up as foreplay was pretty lousy, but the actual sex was intense. She taught me that I could function as a man in the bedroom. It's more important than you'd think."

"No, it's more important than you used to think," Roman said. "I already knew how important it is to be able to 'function as a man in the bedroom' as you put it. So does Marc, Dad, and even Lance. No one wants to be known among the women as Limpy the Noodle." They both chuckled, then Roman got serious. "You'll meet someone," he said. "It might take awhile, and I don't think you'll ever be the type that goes for casual hookups. But someday you will meet the right person. You'll date, you'll fall in love, have sex, maybe get married and have kids. You'll love her and trust her enough to be honest about your past, if she doesn't know from all the media bullshit. Either way, she'll trust you and you'll trust her."

"I wish I could be as confident as you are," Mox said wistfully.

"You will be," Roman assured him. "You're nursing a broken heart right now. Give yourself time to get over it."

"How long will that be?"

"As long as it takes."

It wasn't a definitive answer by any means, but Mox still found some comfort in it. There was no timeline he had to stick to, he had whatever time he needed and nobody could push him into it. As long as it takes he thought, hoping that wouldn't be forever.