Kathryn was silent for the walk back to their quarters. They had planned to have lunch before they both took an afternoon bridge shift. Chakotay walked quietly by her side, knowing she was keeping something in, but hoping that she would release it once they were in the privacy of their home.
He didn't have to wait long. The doors had no more than shut and Kathryn turned and pressed herself into his arms. Though she made no sound, he could feel her body trembling as she cried. Not knowing what to do or say until he knew what was wrong, he simply held her, pressing kisses into her hair and whispering soothing words in her ear.
After a few minutes, Kathryn let out a wavering sigh and pulled back from Chakotay, wiping her eyes. "I'm sorry, I just can't get the image of Earth out of my mind," her eyes met his, and he could see miles of despair in their blue depths, "What if she never gets to see it?"
Chakotay furrowed his brow, "Come back here," he held his arms open for her and she gladly leaned into his strength. "She will. One way or another, she will."
"You can't know that, Chakotay. What if she is only ever able to see her grandmother on a viewscreen, never in person?" Chakotay held her while she spoke. He knew it would do no good to argue with her, but he couldn't let this conversation end with her feeling so forlorn. His own heart had skipped a beat upon seeing Earth on the viewscreen, aching to smell the sea air and feel the earth beneath his feet. He could understand Kathryn's feelings of longing easily.
"I do know it Kathryn, because I know you. You've gotten us closer already than anyone else could have." He pressed another kiss into her hair, letting his hands trail up and down her back, feeling the babies moving against his stomach as she leaned into him. "And now we have Starfleet working on it too. I can't guarantee when we'll get back to Earth, but I know we will, because we have Captain Kathryn Janeway at the helm." She sniffed and chuckled. "But let's talk about happier topics, like you getting to tell your mother that she's going to have a grandchild."
"She's going to be elated." Kathryn pulled back and gave him a genuine smile. He brushed her tears away with his thumbs, "If you think I have the gumption to get us home, when she finds out about the baby, she will be in San Francisco, pounding on Owen's office door, demanding he do all in his power to get us home." Chakotay's dimples pressed into his cheeks as he pictured it. "She will adore you as well."
"I wasn't sure if you'd want me there when you talk to her. I figured you might want some time alone." She could see the trepidation in those dark eyes, but hope lived there too, and she tilted her face up to beg a kiss which he gladly bestowed.
"Chakotay, I'm going to tell my mother soon that she's going to have a granddaughter in about two months. I think she'll want to meet the baby's father." Kathryn gave him a soft smile, calmed herself when she saw Chakotay's shoulders relax as he did.
She leaned back into his arms for another moment; she no longer needed his strength, but enjoyed the feel of his arms around her. He seemed to need the closeness too, as he gladly pulled her into an embrace. "I'm glad Sekaya will get to meet you as well. She will be thrilled at the idea of being an aunt."
"I'd like to meet her. I wish I could have met your mother and father," she whispered.
"They would have loved you, my brave woman warrior," Chakotay kissed the top of her head, his fingers sliding up and down her back, "I like to think that they are both watching over us, our Voyager family, and the little family we are creating just for us." He smiled at the thought, even as he spoke. He knew his father was watching out for him; he'd spoken to him several times in his vision quests since he'd found out that he and Kathryn were expecting a baby. He only wished that his parents were still alive, to hold their grandchild when she was born.
Kathryn chuckled softly, remembering the first time he'd called her that, so many years ago. "The two warriors have traveled a great distance together, working to bring their crew home."
"They have, and the angry warrior wouldn't change it for anything." He pulled back to look down at the woman he loved, so thankful, once again, for the way his life had turned out.
She smiled up at him, her eyes now devoid of tears, "I wouldn't either."
=/\=
Kathryn sat at the head of the table in the briefing room, Chakotay by her side, and all senior staff surrounding them. She smiled as Tom and Harry entered. Tom dropped into a seat beside his wife and Harry sat down on the other side of Tuvok.
"Thank you all for coming," Kathryn spoke, "As I'm sure you all know, Mr. Kim here has finally made contact with Starfleet. We had a chat with Reg Barclay and Admiral Paris," she looked over at Tom, whose eyes flew to her at her words, "He's doing just fine, Tom." She leaned forward to pat his hand, "You'll get to see for yourself soon."
"With our deflector in position, sending the tachyon beam through the singularity gives us about eleven minutes a day to speak with Starfleet. Neelix, I want you to set up a lottery, and I want it ready by 0900 tomorrow. Every member of the crew draws a timeslot. Record who each crew member wants to speak to and have the list ready for me by 1300. I will speak with Owen tomorrow and set up the comm time slots. The lottery will assign the day that each crew member gets a video call from home."
Everyone broke out in excited talking, discussing who they would call. Even Tuvok conversed with Harry about calling home. Kathryn let them have their moment of celebration; she herself was elated at the prospect of speaking to her mother and sister before long. Finally the room began to settle.
"I'll make an announcement to the crew in short order that there will be a lottery drawing tomorrow in the mess hall. Everyone gets a draw, and once everyone is on the roster, we'll keep rotating through it...until we get home."
Everyone nodded, feeling both a renewed hope to get home and a somber feeling that they might all be talking to their families via the viewscreen for some time. At least they would be able to see their families.
"Alright, get to it Neelix. Tom, B'Elanna, please stay after. Everyone else is dismissed." Tom and B'Elanna sat back down, not sure what their Captain was going to tell them.
"At ease, you two," Kathryn spoke with a smile, "I just wanted you both to be in Astrometrics tomorrow when we are in contact with Starfleet again." Tom's eyes went wide and the color drained out of B'Elanna's face. "I'm only asking you to be there. You can tell your father whatever you want. You'll get your own draw in the lottery for private time with him and your mother. But he obviously noticed that I'm pregnant, and I am going to tell him about my own child, and that I'm acting as a surrogate for another crew member. I want you and B'Elanna to have time to decide if you want to tell him that the other crew member is you."
Tom and B'Elanna exchanged glances. "You don't have to decide this moment, I just wanted to let you know what I'm going to do." She glanced down at her stomach, "This is, as you know, impossible to hide," everyone chuckled at that, "So I have to give some explanation. It's just up to the both of you if you want to be part of it."
"Thank you Captain, for giving us a heads up," Tom spoke, "And thank you for letting us be there tomorrow. It'll be...good to see my dad."
"It will be, I guarantee it," Kathryn smiled at her pilot, "He will be thrilled to know you are alright, and he knows how much you've done for all of us. Go ahead and take the rest of your shift off to talk about it. I'll comm you on my way to Astrometrics tomorrow, and don't forget to draw in the lottery."
"Thank you, Captain," Tom and B'Elanna spoke in unison before leaving the briefing room. Once they were alone, Kathryn leaned back in her seat, letting out a soft groan. Chakotay got out of his chair and moved behind her, massaging the spot between her shoulder blades that he knew was bothering her.
"Ah, thank you, Chakotay," she sighed again, leaning forward to give him better access, "I'm nervous about talking to Owen tomorrow."
Chakotay chuckled as he pressed his knuckles into her spine, "Nervous? You've known the admiral for years. Why would you be nervous?" He could feel her tense and realization dawned on him. "Oh, you're worried about what he's going to say about you and me, right?"
A groan sounded in Kathryn's throat, as she turned and stood up, meeting Chakotay's gaze, "I'm not ashamed of us. I need you to know that...it's just that Starfleet will know that I've broken protocol." Her eyes dropped to the floor, "I just don't want Owen to be disappointed in me."
Chakotay's hands came up to rest on Kathryn's shoulders before sliding up and down her arms to lend some comfort, "Kathryn, I think more than anything he'll be pleased; happy for you. Perhaps under normal circumstances there might be some type of reprimand, but you've already transmitted many of your logs, haven't you?" She nodded. "You've never shown me any favoritism, and your decision making abilities since we have become involved haven't suffered."
Kathryn sighed again, her eyes coming back up to Chakotay's face, "I love you so much. I never want you to doubt that." Chakotay grinned, leaning forward to peck her lips gently.
"You've never given me reason to. I understand your feelings. Neither of us expected to ever have this conversation with Starfleet brass, but I'm proud to tell them that the woman I love is giving me a child." Kathryn's lips lifted at his words, "and though I don't know Owen Paris like you do, I have a feeling he will be thrilled for you. And he won't have long to think about it, because he will find out that he's going to be a grandfather."
"We don't know if Tom and B'Elanna are going to tell him anything." Kathryn's brow furrowed.
"I have a very strong feeling that when Tom sees his father, he'll want to tell him, and I think B'Elanna will want him to know as well." He pressed his lips to Kathryn's forehead, "Tomorrow will be a day for good news. Don't worry about disappointing Owen. Starfleet is going to be relieved that we are all still here. I doubt they will care about you and me."
Kathryn leaned into Chakotay's embrace for a moment, hoping his words were true. She loved Chakotay and the life the pair of them were creating on Voyager. She loved her entire crew, and wanted Starfleet to see them all through her eyes. She hoped that once Owen was aware of the situation that he would be able to diffuse any tension in the higher levels of command.
=/\=
After the announcement of the lottery, the crew flooded the mess hall as quickly as their duty shifts would allow. Kathryn decided to wait until everyone else had a chance to draw. Chakotay agreed, and once everyone else had picked a number, Neelix came to the bridge with the last two numbered isolinear chips. Kathryn drew seventy eight and Chakotay drew one hundred and four. Swallowing her disappointment that Kathryn wouldn't be able to speak to her mother until after the babies were born, she smiled her thanks to Neelix and focused her attention back to the engineering report B'Elanna had sent up the day before. Chakotay sat beside Kathryn, knowing her disappointment and feeling his own. He also didn't want to wait so long to speak with Sekaya, but that evening in the mess hall when they heard everyone talking about their upcoming familial visits, it made him not mind so much.
He and Kathryn were sitting on the sofa together reading that evening when the door chime chirped. They shared a confused look before Kathryn bade their visitor enter. She was surprised to see B'Elanna and the Doctor there together. Chakotay helped her to her feet and they made for the door, "Good evening, B'Elanna...Doctor. To what do we owe the pleasure?"
B'Elanna was first to speak, "Well, I drew number three in the lottery today, and I don't really have anyone back home I want to visit with, so I wanted to trade with one of you." She gave them a soft smile, "I'm sure you're eager to tell your mother and sister about the baby, so I thought I'd give you the chance," she handed over her own isolinear chip.
"I had the luck of drawing the first visit home," the EMH spoke, holding up his chip as well. "I was going to speak with a publisher friend of mine about a holonovel I'm working on, but I'm not really happy with it, and could use more time to flesh it out, so to speak." He handed over his chip to Chakotay. "No doubt you'll want to share your good news with your sister as well, Commander."
Chakotay was speechless and Kathryn felt tears burning in her eyes. She quickly pulled her engineer and chief medical officer into an embrace. Chakotay shook the Doctor's hand before wrapping his own arms around B'Elanna. "Are you sure about this?" Chakotay spoke. "We don't mind waiting our turn."
"We know, but we discussed it and we want to do this," B'Elanna spoke. "I'll be there tomorrow to meet Tom's father, and Tom drew number eleven, so we'll get another chance to visit soon." She smiled at the pair, "We want you to be able to share your good news with your family."
"Thank you so much, both of you," Kathryn spoke, wiping a tear from her eye, "I can't tell you how much this means."
They all made small talk for another minute or two before B'Elanna and the EMH bid them a good night. Chakotay said a silent prayer of thanks to the spirits for the amazing friends in his life, and for the smile that wouldn't leave Kathryn's lips as she got ready for bed.
=/\=
Kathryn and Chakotay stood side by side in Astrometrics waiting for their communication with Starfleet. Tom and B'Elanna waited just outside, having decided to tell Admiral Paris their exciting news. Kathryn wanted to transmit all of the data for family visits before getting into more personal topics.
Kathryn took a deep, wavering breath, sighing when she felt Chakotay's hand at the small of her back. She glanced up at him with a smile just as the image of Starfleet HQ came on the screen. Owen Paris was at his desk this time, and alone. "Good afternoon Captain Janeway. How's the weather in the Delta quadrant?"
"Full of adventure as always, Admiral. It's good to see you again."
Owen nodded, that familiar smile pulling his lips, putting Kathryn immediately at ease. "I'm receiving your data stream as we speak. I take it you'd like us to start reaching out to the families of Voyager's crew to set up daily visits."
"I would, and so would about one hundred and forty other people," Kathryn smiled up at her mentor.
Owen nodded with a soft chuckle, "We'll take care of it." His eyes slid down to Kathryn's stomach again, and back up to her face before moving to look at Chakotay. "I think we have some other things to talk about, wouldn't you say, Kate?"
"We would," she rested a hand on her stomach. "Owen, it's my honor and privilege to introduce my first officer, Commander Chakotay."
Owen, having already read nearly all of the logs that Kathryn had sent yesterday nodded with a smile, "It's a pleasure, Commander."
Chakotay stood a bit taller next to Kathryn, "The pleasure is mine, Admiral. The Captain and I very much appreciate all the work you are doing in making these family visits happen for our crew."
"We do indeed, but that's not all that we have to talk about," Kathryn took a silent breath, and Chakotay knew the time had come. "About six months ago my chief engineer and I were in a shuttle accident. My ankle was shattered, but her injuries were much more substantial. Her pregnancy was threatened, so the baby was transferred from her womb to mine."
Owen leaned closer to the screen, a look of concern on his face, "That's quite the sacrifice Captain. I'm sure your engineer is very grateful."
"She and her husband are, yes. They'd like to speak with you in a moment, but I need to tell you something else as well." Owen nodded silently. "Once the procedure was complete, the Doctor found something interesting when he scanned me." She let out a breath. "He found out that Commander Chakotay and I were already expecting a child of our own."
Owen was silent for a moment, looking between the two of them before a smile broke out on his face. He chuckled gently as he spoke, "Congratulations, you two. I'm glad you've both found some happiness out there." His gaze moved to Chakotay again, "I look forward to meeting you in person, son. You take care of her." Chakotay nodded with a smile. "We only have a few more minutes. Now, you said your engineer and her husband want to speak with me? I admit that's a surprise."
Kathryn turned to nod at the ensign by the door. She went outside to get Tom and B'Elanna.
"I think it'll make much more sense in a moment, Admiral." She and Chakotay watched as Tom and B'Elanna came up to the viewscreen. Owen's mouth slowly dropped open as he took in the visage of his son for the first time in nearly seven years. Kathryn and Chakotay moved off to a side panel, letting Tom and his father reconnect.
Tom cleared his throat, emotion evident in his voice, "Hi dad." B'Elanna stood beside him, a hand on his back. "I'd like you to meet my wife, B'Elanna Torres."
Owen was speechless for a moment, looking between his son and the half Klingon woman beside him. Slowly, to Tom's relief, a smile blossomed on the Admiral's face. "Tom," he choked out, his eyes glistening with unshed emotion, "I'm so glad you're alright," his eyes moved to B'Elanna, "I'm honored to meet you, my dear. I can't wait for the day that we can meet in person."
B'Elanna smiled, obviously relieved to be accepted by the Paris patriarch. "Thank you, Admiral. I look forward to it too."
"Owen, please. We're family." He glanced quickly at Kathryn before looking back at his son and daughter in law, "And I hear I'm going to be a grandfather soon?"
Tom smiled, putting his arm around B'Elanna and pulling her close to his side, "Yes, a grand daughter. She should be here in a few months." Owen's smile grew even wider.
"Your mother is going to be thrilled. I look forward to eleven days from now when your mother and I can visit with you both, but I'm afraid we're almost out of time today." A tear finally formed at the corner of his eye and slid down his cheek. "Congratulations to all of you, and I'll talk to you soon, son."
Tom couldn't form words, but he nodded, and after a few more seconds the screen went black. B'Elanna stood silently beside her husband as he wiped a tear from his own eye. After a moment they turned to look at Kathryn and Chakotay. Tom cleared his throat, but still couldn't find anything to say. B'Elanna mouthed the words 'thank you' to them both before they left.
Kathryn let out a sigh after the pair left Astrometrics, "That went better than I had expected," Kathryn spoke, not wanting to reveal too much emotion in front of the rest of the science crew currently on duty. Chakotay nodded.
"It did," he answered, "Now, let's go have lunch and think about how you want to tell your mother tomorrow about her granddaughter." His dimples pressed into his cheeks as they exited Astrometrics.