I jump.

"Hey, are you okay?" whispers Mary Beth a few inches from my face.

"Y-yes, why?" I ask sitting up and drying some sweat from my forehead.

It's dark and everybody else in the room is still sleeping.

Why the hell did she wake me up?

"You were talking in your sleep" she answers.

"Really?" I say rubbing my eyes.

"Yeah. You had a nightmare?" she asks.

"To be honest, I don't remember. Don't worry for me, go back to sleep" I yawn to her.

She goes back to her place and lies down. I do the same, but I'm not able to close my eyes again.

I lied to her: I remember what I was dreaming and, yes, it wasn't a good dream.

I wait until I hear her breath become heavy and then I stand up and go outside from the back door.

I sit down on the dock dangling my legs above the water and waiting for the sunrise.

I don't have to wait for a long time. Soon the light starts playing with the colors of the swamp, reflecting them on the softly rippled water.

When the others wake up, I join them and start working.

"We've almost run out of meat again" complains Mr. Pearson while I chop the vegetables.

"I'll go hunt something" I answer automatically.

"Sorry, it wasn't a reproach. You've done so much. I don't want to bother you" he replies.

I raise my eyes from the carrots and tomatoes and look at him. He really looks sorry. Maybe my plain answer sounded a little rude?

"No bother, Mr. Pearson. I want to help" I say smiling.

He nods, but he doesn't seem convinced.

"Don't worry, I'll go with Charles. We'll have fun together" I joke.

He chuckles.

I look around to see if Charles is near, but I can't see him anywhere.

Now that I think about it, I haven't seen him for a while.

I finish with the vegetables and start walking around the camp to look for him. I check the surroundings, the shacks, I even make sure Taima is with the other horses. He's here, but where? The only place I haven't checked is the house, but he never stays there.

I go inside and spot him in the back of the room we sleep in, seated on a chair and doing something with his hair.

I draw closer.

"Hey" I greet him.

"Hey."

He has a knife in his hands and he's cutting his hair. Well, he has already cut his hair, now he's shaving the sides of his head.

"You wanted a change of look?" I joke sitting next to him.

"This is a ritual. Natives do that."

"Really? And why do they do that?"

"When someone close dies, for mourning" he replies serious.

I open my mouth in amazement feeling immediately stupid and rude for my former joke.

"I'm sorry, I-I… I didn't want to be disrespectful" I say.

He stops and turns to look at me.

"Can you help me?" he asks not paying attention to what I said.

"Help you?"

"Yes, I can't see myself" he replies handing me the knife.

I take it, still unsure.

"What should I do?" I ask.

"Check if there are spots where the hair is still long. Just don't touch the middle. I will braid it."

I start from the back and pass the sharpen blade on his head being very careful not to hurt him. It's not easy at all and I wonder how he's done that without any help before.

He said natives do that for mourning, but who is he grieving for? Hosea? Lenny? I didn't thought he cared this much about them.

At first I'm tempted to ask him, but then I change my mind and try to focus on another topic.

"It's the first time you do this?" I ask while I'm at work.

"No, the first one was when my mother died. I was around thirteen."

I stop for a moment to look at him. Again no trace of sorrow on his face.

"I'm sorry" I say.

He nods slightly.

When I'm done, I help him braid the hair which is still long. At the end, I move in front of him and look at the final result.

"I must say, you look kinda strange" I joke smiling to him.

"More or less ugly than before?" he asks.

I hit him on the forehead with the palm of my hand.

"Shut up! You're not ugly!" I exclaim.

"I think we can say you're the prettiest of the couple" he replies.

I open my mouth to reply, but then I realize what he's just said and close it again, blushing violently.

He called me pretty and he said we are a couple, all in the same sentence.

"I've got something for you" he adds standing up.

I frown at him.

He reaches his bag, takes something and shows it to me.

It's a little circle with some wires interlaced between them and a couple of feathers dangling from it.

Bewildered, I take it from his hands. My face must show my confusion because he immediately explains what I'm looking at.

"It's a dream catcher. They say it can catch the bad dreams and negative thoughts and help you sleep better at night. You have nightmares since we buried Hosea and Lenny, you talk in your sleep and you wake up before the sun rises."

"H-how… how do you know? You…you were asleep" I say amazed.

"Well… I guess I was not."

He wakes at night to check on me? He hears me when I talk in my sleep or when I get up after a nightmare? And he purposely decided to do something that could make me feel better? How incredible can he be?

"You made it?" I ask as my sight starts to blur.

"Yes. It's easier than it seems…why are you crying?"

"I-I'm not. I just…"

A tear runs down my cheek and I brush it away fast.

I try to talk, but words fail me.

I look at him and smile.

"Thank you" I say in the end.

He smiles too, getting closer and gently kissing me on my lips.

The morning after we leave the camp early and head North to find a good hunting ground.

I stopped practicing with my bow everyday, so now I'm afraid I will make a fool of myself in front of Charles.

This time we stop on a hill with a big grassy valley just on the other side.

"Do deers move in a so open space? I thought they preferred the forests to get more protection from the trees" I say.

"They do. But it's love season so they hang around in open fields to fight and get the attention of the females."

"You really know what you're talking about, don't you?" I joke.

"I've been doing this my whole life" he replies.

We take the bows from the horses and walk silently on the side of the hill. As soon as we climb it, the plain fields open under us, lightened by the morning sun, and they show a group of deers. They're many this time, much more than I expected, all gathered together.

"When you shoot, they'll get scared and run away. So be exact cause we need at least one" Charles says.

I gulp as he says this feeling immediately nervous.

We get as close as possible and then he whispers to me to aim. I take my position and do as he tells me, pulling the wire with all the strength I have. I've got a knee on the ground and my back upright so to breathe regularly and aim correctly.

I shoot and hit the deer on the leg even though I aimed at the neck.

Well done you idiot, I think with a sigh.

The rest of the herd immediately runs while the poor, scared animal tries to stumble away, but I really hurt him so he can't move properly.

I stand up to reach it and use my knife to put an end to his sufferance, but Charles stops me.

"Use the bow again, you need to practice your aim."

I take another arrow as fast as I can before the wounded deer gains the strength to run away. I'm ready to shoot, but then I feel Charles' hands on me. He helps me to aim as he always does and this time I hit the animal right in the head.

"You see, it's not too hard. You just need to use it more often" he says.

"Okay" I answer a little embarrassed for my terrible performance.

I expect him to stand up and go take the animal, but he doesn't move. His hands are still on my hips and instead of going away, he gets closer and closer until he kisses my neck and hugs me from behind.

I start to feel strange, my muscles are numb and his lips on me cause a shiver down my back.

It's not the first time we're so close, but this time seems different. He feels different.

I let the bow fall from my hands and try to turn my head to him and ask what he's doing, but I'm not even able to speak, he kisses me in a way he's never done before: he's rough and direct. He pushes me on the ground and lies his body on mine.

I think I now where we're going, I know what he wants.

His kisses give me no possibility to breathe. I reach his shirt and start opening the buttons with trembling hands.

Something starts to move up from my belly, something I've never felt before. I want him. I want to feel him, but at the same time I'm afraid.

He seem to understand something is wrong somehow because he stops what he's doing to look at me.

"Are you okay?" he asks.

Should I tell him this is my first time ever with a man?

"Yes. Don't… don't stop" I pant before kissing him again.

This was just what he wanted to hear.

He begins to undress me and I start to feel his excitement grow.

I let out a soft moan feeling the warm skin of his hands on my thighs and his soft kisses on my neck.

...

We're seated on the grass, his arm around my shoulders and my head on his chest. Our horses are some yards away from us, eating the grass, and the hunted deer is on the back of Taima.

I look at the sun and breathe deeply.

I still can't believe I found him: someone who can make me feel so good when I'm with him, someone I don't want to be parted from for ever. Maybe, when the others will come back and things will be back to normal, we can find a place where to live together.

It doesn't sound bad: live together.

"If you had the chance, where would you like to live?" I ask him.

"I don't know. I guess… I'd like to move North."

"North?" I ask turning to look at him.

"Yeah, I… I don't think I would stay here…I…"

He suddenly looks awkward.

"Here I feel… kind of stuck. I don't know if you can understand, I've never been good with words" he says gazing back at me.

I smile and nod.

He has a world inside him, a world that maybe I will never fully understand and maybe I will never completely be part of.

"But I don't want to complain. Or you'll think I'm boring" he adds looking away.

"All I can think of, is that I love you."
I can't believe I said that, but it's the truth.

I love him.

I really do.

My words have the power to create an expression on his face. At last, I would add. He's surprised, almost shocked, but when I smile, he smiles too.

He looks away and it seems like he has no idea what to do now.

I giggle at his confusion.

"It's okay, you don't have to say anything. I understand" I tell him laying again my head on his chest.

It's like I can feel his head working through his breathing. All the things he's not able to express through his words, I can feel them through his silence.

When he finally speaks again is to change topic.

"I was wandering around the other day and I met Eagle Flies, the boy you and Arthur helped."

I look at him.

"We talked and he explained their situation to me. I think I'll go to his reservation and see if they need more help. Would you like to come?"

"Yes, of course" I say immediately.

It must be a beautiful place and I'm really curious to see it.

But then I think about something.

"How much time will we need?" I ask with less enthusiasm.

"A couple of days" he answers.

"Then I can't. I'm sorry, I can't leave Sadie alone to take care of the entire camp. If something happens she'll need me."

"Okay. You'll be fine?"

"Of course I will. The real question is: will you be fine?" I joke.

"I don't know. It'll be hard, but I think I'll survive" he jokes back.

"Shut up!" I chuckle pushing him away.

"Every time I leave that place, it's a relief. I hate it. I hope we can move soon" says Sadie as we trot one next to the other.

"Yeah, tell me about it. I think the worst is the smell. I can feel it stick on my skin and my hair. And the others don't seem to like it, either" I reply.

Charles left this morning and Sadie told me about a plan she has to check if John is really at the Sisika prison. I seized the occasion to get out of that smelly swamp we're in and do something useful to help John.

"Have you noticed Miss Grimshaw is a little different since what happened? She seems… kinder" says Sadie.

"And Karen doesn't part from her bottle. She drinks day and night" I add.

"And I've seen Abigail cry a couple of times" she replies.

And I can barely sleep, I think with a sigh.

"I guess we can understand what they feel like. We've been through it" she says in the end.

I nod.

"You really loved your husband, didn't you?" I ask without thinking.

"Yes, I did. Our marriage has been unusual. Generally, people who marry aren't really in love, but I was lucky: my father chose for me a man I could fall in love with. And you?"

"If I loved my family? Well, of course…"

"No. Do you love Charles?" she replies with a laugh.

My jaw drops while I stare at her. I didn't expect this question.

"I-I…well I…" I stutter feeling some heat on my cheeks.

"You do" she replies with a smile.

We ride till we reach the city.

I look around every now and then to see if some of the policemen recognize me, but they don't. Moreover, there's no trace of Pinkertons, bounty hunters, lawmen of any kind…

Sadie was right: it's like they've given up and stopped looking for us.

"Last time I've been here, I've heard of a man who stated he had a hot air balloon. I thought that could be a good start and looked for him. We have a meeting at the saloon" says Sadie.

"Can you explain me why we need a hot air balloon?" I ask her.

"Well, if we need to check that John is still there, we can't reach the island by land, so we'll reach it by air."

"Yeah, that makes sense. And this man will give us his air balloon to break inside a federal prison?" I ask sceptic.

"Well, no. But he will come with us for a tour to show us the beauties of the land" she chuckles.

The man's name is Arturo Bullard. I have no idea where he comes from, but he surely is a strange feller. We find him at the saloon when we get there and he starts talking and talking and talking.

He talks about his passion of flying, how he came into possession of the air balloon, the last innovations in the scientific field about air traveling. In the end we ask him when we can do the little 'tour' and he says something that amazes us.

"Well, of course we need to establish a day that's fine for the gentleman."

"The… gentleman?" I ask exchanging a look with Sadie.

"Sure. For whom you're doing all this? If I can ask. Mrs. Adler's husband maybe?" he asks.

"Actually, he's a friend of ours. And we hoped we could accompany him" replies Sadie playing his game.

"Oh, I'm afraid that's not possible. See, they made a lot of researches in the field and they found out women can't absolutely fly. It's bad for their… health" says Bullard.

"It is, isn't it?" I say sarcastic and sense Sadie giggling next to me.

"Yes, it is. So I'm afraid your friend should go alone. With me, of course, I will be his guide."

We leave him with the promise that we will contact him again when our friend will be ready for the tour.

"That is real bullshit. What does it mean women can't fly? Who are we going to ask now?" I exclaim while we head back.

"Don't worry, maybe Charles can come with us" she replies.

"He already has a lot of thoughts, I don't want to bother him. But we'll see. Maybe the others will come back in the meantime."

"If they're coming back."

This last thing she says worries me a little bit.

What if they have no chance to come back? What will we do? Maybe we can move our camp again, maybe we can go West and really start a new life? And leave them like this?

"Well, that was easy" says Sadie distracting me from my thoughts.

We are following the dirty path when I see four horses on the side of the road. Next to them there are the four men who should ride them.

We slow down, but we don't stop until one of them orders us to do so.

"Well, well. Where are you going sweethearts?" he asks.

The three behind him get closer smirking and chuckling.

"Home" answers Sadie.

I look at the men as they draw closer: they're not lawmen, too dirty and shabby, and they're not simple country folks, too armed and mean.

They must belong to some other gang. O'Driscoll maybe? They don't look like them.

"This territory belongs to the Lemoyne gang, don't you know that?" asks the man again.

"No" answers Sadie coldly.

"Well, now you do. And whoever walks on our territory must pay. But we are gentlemen and we would never ask to two beautiful women like you to pay. So… how about an agreement?"

"What kind of agreement?" I ask.

I wish I didn't.

"You can get down your horses, first thing" says another man.

I look at Sadie who stares back.

"Come on baby, don't make me ask twice" he adds pointing his gun at me.

Sadie nods and we both do as he says.

"These are very good horses. I think we'll take them" says the first man who spoke taking the reins of Isabella and Sadie's horse, trying to drag them away.

But Isabella resists. The man pulls stronger and she starts to get nervous until she rears and tries to turn around to run.

I seize the opportunity and take my gun shooting the man in front of me.

I hear another shot and then another, but I can't understand who's firing.

Another man hits me hard on my hand and I lose the grip on my gun. Then, he hits me on my face and kicks me on my stomach.

I stop breathing and fall on the ground.

I hear another shot and then the hands of the man on me. He takes my neck and starts tightening.

At first I try to push him away, but soon I understand he's too strong for me. I reach my belt with a hand while with the other I try loosening his grip around my throat. I take my knife and stab him as hard as I can on his hip.

He screams.

I hear another shot.

He doesn't leave me, he just keeps chocking me with one hand while with the other he reaches for the arm with which I stabbed him and pushes it on the ground, blocking me completely.

I'm done. There's nothing else I can do. My legs can't move, my arms can't move and my lungs are praying for air. I can barely keep my eyes open.

My first thought is for Charles. The last kiss I gave him this morning before he left, the last view of him on Taima riding away. What will he think when he won't find me after he comes back from the reservation?

I hear a shot and something warm and sticky splatters on my face, on my eyes and inside my mouth.

The grip around my neck loses and the man falls on the ground next to me.

I breathe deeply, drinking the air, and spit the blood of the man out of my mouth.

I sit up and clean my eyes looking at Sadie with her shirt stained of red and the gun pointed in my direction.

"Th-thank y-you" I say with a hoarse voice.

She helps me to stand up and I look around.

The men are all dead. She has fought and killed two of them, while I could barely deal with one.

"Let's see if they got something interesting before we go back" she says.

We search the bodies and the saddle-sacks, but we only find some liquor, cigarettes and a couple of dollars in total.

When we arrive at the camp everybody asks us what happened. Sadie's shirt and my face both covered in blood probably alarmed them.

We tell about this Lemoyne gang that stopped us on the way home. In the meantime they bring me some water to wash my face.

When they ask us how we got out of it, it's Sadie who answers.

"We kicked their asses of course!"

Hello, Hello!

Sooo my friends! This is one of my favorite chapters, it always gives me so many emotions and I hope you felt them too. I see Charles as someone who observes a lot and cares about details, so he sees when his S/O hasn't slept in days or things like that and would do anything he can to make her/him feel better.

There's nothing I can do: I LOVE HIM!

I hope you liked it! See you soon!