When he first entered and sat down, it took Orik a moment to comprehend what he was seeing as reality.
The Elven Queen, Arya Dröttning, sat before him. The same woman also known as Arya Svit-Kona, Shadeslayer, and as the Elven Ambassador who looked after Saphira's egg.
He stared because she's pregnant and that's the very last thing he was ever expecting to see.
It was just the five of them- Arya, Fírnen, Eila, Eylörís and Orik- who occupied the sunny, comfortable room. They all sat in comfortable chairs with glasses of either wine or water. The two dragons lounged next to and behind their Riders, though it was obvious Fírnen was rigidly protective of Arya by the way his tail coiled up the chair leg, the very tip laying heavily in her lap.
"Orik." Arya said a little bit harsher than she felt was necessary.
He cleared his throat, shifted in the chair that was too tall for his stature, and forced his eyes to meet her intense gaze.
"Is pregnancy that fascinating to you or are you done staring?" She reprimanded.
"Please accept my apologies, Arya, I didn't mean to be rude." He seemed to force himself to say. He cleared his throat. "I will admit that through all the years I've known you, you have never seemed to be the maternal type. I suppose we all have our hidden sides, or perhaps my interpretation has been seriously flawed by mine own mind, but that's beside the point. I wish to congratulate you upon the highest degree." He beamed and hopped down off of his chair and took a bow as he all but punched his left shoulder in the traditional Dwarven greeting.
"Thank you." Arya cracked a smile at his theatrics. The first real smile in what felt like ages.
"Of course! I myself have a greater appreciation for the creation of life as Hvedra and I are expecting as well. I'm glad to see you are well enough to find yourself with a belly full of a child. So far, I believe it to be a rewarding experience." He continued and Arya's cheeks pinkened as her left hand slid protectively over her stomach.
"Yet challenging to say the least." She added truthfully. "I wouldn't advise asking him directly, but I believe fatherhood is affecting Eragon in a similar manner. If you speak to him long enough, you might be able to get the information out of him so long as you let him know you're aware of our situation. For me, I only find the world has fallen to a darker shade." She sighed, almost as if she was annoyed, but anyone who knew her well enough was also aware that it was to cover her anxieties. "Nevertheless, life goes on. I will find my peace eventually. I hope you have found peace in the growth of your family. I offer my congratulations as well, to the highest degree, of course." She spoke unflinchingly and even smiled widely at him as she did truly feel happy for him. She envied him for finding what seemed like absolute joy with his impending fatherhood.
"As always, I thank you kindly." He bowed again, then smirked. "I was wondering when you and Eragon would release some of the potent tension you had between yourselves." He turned and then retook his seat. From there, he observed her closer than before.
Her features seemed to shimmer slightly. She looked well, like she always did, minus the pregnancy aspect of 'always', but something was wrong with the way she looked and yet he couldn't put his finger on it. He tried not to show his deep concentration and ponderment over why his friend seemed so strange.
"Very comedically humorous, Orik, though I feel it's appropriate to change the topic." She almost deadpanned but did her best to add inflection to the already darkly depicted sentence.
She was uncomfortable, that much was clear to him. "Once again, forgive me, I only jest. On a more serious note, however, I'd like to perhaps suggest a certain island just south of the Beor Mountains as a potential location for Eragon's sanctuary."
Arya's interest peaked, but she didn't say a word. Her mind was paying attention to Eila, who sat silently, her back straight as a board. She was distracted and was trying not to be, but by what?
"Where, perhaps, do you suggest? Might you have a map on hand?" Eila asked kindly yet quietly. She's still getting used to not having to wear a metaphorical muzzle, especially in this sort of scenario.
Orik nodded, hopped off of his chair and reached into the long outer coat he wore. "As a matter of fact, I do." He unrolled it and walked over to where both women sat, then handed the map directly to Eila because she is the one who asked.
Arya leaned over slightly to observe the map she held, and while the map consisted of Alagaësia's continent, it had been fitted to show the known regions to the north and south which hadn't been claimed by any Alagaësian power be it Elf, Dwarf, Human, or Urgal.
Narrowing her eyes, Eila squinted at the set of islands which were in the process of breaking away or had already broken away from the mainland. It appeared the mountains dropped directly off into the sea. A circle drawn in red ink marked the southeastern island he seemed to be talking about.
"Orik, would you mind it if I kept this map for a time? I'd prefer to show Eragon rather quickly to get his opinion." She frowned. "Well that and I've never quite seen an Alagaësian map like this. Would you also mind it if I had one of my scribes make a copy?"
The Dwarf nodded. "Not at all, please be my guest. This map was created by Dwarven explorers long ago. It's design was created far before my time. I'm surprised you don't have something like it in your archives considering Du Weldenvarden is the northernmost Alagaësian territory."
"We might, however, I was born in a time of war. We never needed to use an expanded map as the important points of interest and incidents only took place within the territories. There was no need, which means I've never seen one like this before. If I have, it was a very long time ago and most likely only briefly touched on in my history lessons as a girl. Most of Elven history has been recorded here in Alagaësia as well. There really wasn't a need for me to see it in the first place, now that I'm thinking about it." She said thoughtfully as she stared off into nothingness.
"How large is the island?" Eila asked curiously.
"Quite large as far as an island goes. It may be bigger than the Vroengard I've heard of in tales, though I can't be sure." He said with a nod.
"Would you mind it if we put a temporary hold on this meeting? It's important that this information reaches Eragon sooner rather than later." Arya's eyes seemed to burn.
"Once again, of course not. I am quite comfortable here in Ellesméra, and I am a very flexible man." He smiled and bowed. "I agree this newest progression is of the essence. Please, go and take however long you need. All of you must still be exhausted from travel and now that the urgent matters are out of the way, we have more time to relax." He agreed.
Arya nodded. "Very well. There are general duties I must attend to as I make the transition back into my role as ruler. It may be a few days, though if you wish or are pressed for time, we could meet sooner."
Orik shook his head. "Take your time to get reacquainted and reacclimated. I suppose this meeting has adjourned?"
Arya nodded. "Yes. If you need anything, just ask and let us know if something discomforts you." She said, adding a soft smile of honesty and truth.
"Your hospitality is greatly appreciated, Lady Arya. It was good to meet you, Lady Eila, and most wonderful Eylörís, as well as ever pleasurable to see you again, Fírnen. I hope to see everyone soon." He smiled, bowed with his right fist pressed to his left chest and shoulder, then took his leave.
The moment he was gone, Fírnen slowly released the magic he had wrapped around his Rider to help both her appearance and her mood. Her shoulders fell as she sank into the comfortable plush chair when she felt the sheer weight of her true emotions return. She leaned over to hold her head in one hand. She couldn't sleep at all last night and she didn't get even a little bit of rest either as the nausea and vomiting ended up being the worst it's ever been. Most of it was because she still fears when her pregnancy becomes common knowledge. Sure, she left the Loft for the extensive number of meeting rooms within Ellesméra and she knows at least someone took notice of her swollen abdomen. Belly full of a child. She shuddered at the word choice.
Eila looked over and worry instantly gripped her stomach. "You're not okay." She commented, then rolled the map she held back into a tube and set it on the table that separated them. She slid off of her chair and gently pried Arya's hand away from her face. The elder Rider was reluctant to look up. She didn't want to open up either, she's done talking to people about it; about her struggles and her turmoils that don't seem fitting for her position. Creating and having a baby is supposed to be a happy, joyful time, so why does she feel so unhappy and alone despite having everyone she loves around her? Well, not everyone. Eragon is now sailing on a ship, thousands of miles away. His support mattered the most through this. Juniper is his child too.
"I'm fine, Eila." She lied.
"You told me that you were okay." Eila said softly, observing the bruise-like marks under her cousin's eyes. She reached up with her other hand and felt Arya's cheek. "You didn't sleep last night. You haven't eaten this morning either and it's now midday. The last meal you had consisted of the bread you gave me yesterday at this time." She said in a voice so gentle it inflicted near physical damage to Arya. She brushed her thumb over the new and worsening hollow under Arya's cheekbone. "You're growing thin."
"Eila." The Elf said harshly, her words carrying a bite with anger laced into them. Eila's eyes widened and she shriveled, recoiling and quickly pulled her hand away.
"F-forgive me." She drew away entirely, her body was nearly trembling and only then Arya had realized what she had done. Her words and tone had triggered a memory of Eila's father.
"Wait-" she called, but by that point, Eila nearly bolted from the room. She had no energy to chase her cousin down either.
Arya turned her weary gaze to Eylörís. "I-I didn't mean to hurt her."
"Don't worry, she knows that in her heart. Let her cool before seeking her out, though. She's found herself in a difficult situation." Eylörís answered calmly.
Arya frowned. "What do you mean? Is it being here that causes her stress or is it something unknown to us? I know I did something to trigger that reaction, and I know I shouldn't have been harsh either." She inhaled deeply, suddenly feeling as though she couldn't catch her breath. "I wish to seek your aid on this."
Eylörís nodded, bowing slightly. "The elements surrounding her troubles lie within your mind, though the gathering and connection of these things remain in fog." The white and blue dragon stated. "You must first remember that she is very sensitive to anything involving pregnancy. Her mother died in childbirth and on top of that, Eila herself miscarried despite being past the unsafe period of time where the chance of miscarriage is heightened. That was most likely at the hands of her father, but I refuse to say more on the topic. As each day passes, she watches you lose more sleep, skip meals, or push yourself to extents which may seem mild to you, but to her it's everything, especially now that you've lost enough weight for it to catch the eye. You and this baby are the last members of her most direct family. She only wants to help. She also knows her place as your student and feels she is to remain somewhat detached, but she's torn between attempting to be a member of your family and her place as 'apprentice'. Her desire to help you through your pregnancy, her paranoia that you'll either miscarry or die in childbirth, and her wish to grow closer as a family only overwhelms her when she, again, knows you are also one of our teachers."
Arya sank even further into the chair. "And I've not made any of this easier on her. I've been so caught up in my own mess I have had little time to properly start your training. I apologize so very deeply for that." She sighed sadly. "When would it be appropriate to go find her?"
"Wait an hour. I'll let you know if she needs more time. She's in a strange place, I hope she doesn't get lost."
"Me too." Fírnen spoke for the first time, though he offered a simple, non-impactful opinion.
"For now, try to get some rest, more for your sake than for Eila's, though she will also benefit from knowing you slept even if it was for a short amount of time." Eylörís advised and Arya nodded.
"I've cut this meeting short to speak to Eragon. I need to hold my word." Arya sighed, feeling the nausea well up in her stomach.
"Very well, perhaps I'll try convincing Eila to ride with me." Eylörís bowed. "May I take my leave Ebrithil?"
"You may. Thank you for your help." Arya nodded and watched as the doors opened and closed, leaving only her and Fírnen in the room.
"They both have a point, Arya." Fírnen spoke up.
"I know." Arya sighed. "Do I really look as bad as Eila suggested?"
"I would say her assessment is rather accurate. This is why I was urging you so desperately to at least eat something this morning." he said, sounding sad.
"You know how sick I felt, though. I still don't feel well." she sighed. "But then again, Rhunön did advise to keep something on my stomach to help control the nausea." she set her head in both hands. "I just feel awful, Fírnen… w-what do I do?" she looked up at him, her eyes pleading, and her exhaustion was visible in the purest form he'd ever seen.
"Rest. Eat. Perhaps exercise if you're feeling up to it. The book said it was good to exercise lightly. Maybe practice your Rimgar positions?" He suggested. "But you also need to tell Eragon about what's been going on. Not just with Orik's suggestion or how we're back from our trip, but about your struggles. He needs to know."
Arya sighed. "I don't want him to know how weak I am." She hated how petulant she sounded.
"It's not weakness, Arya, unless you're referring to a lack of energy. You're in the midst of something that's challenging for you and for him. He's probably very worried about you. You know all of us already are."
Reluctantly, she relented. "Fine… would you… would you help me again when I talk to him?" She asked softly. "I don't want him to see how bad it's gotten, visually, at least. I don't need him rushing back prematurely."
Fírnen remained silent for a time, considering her words. "This is your burden to bear, Arya. He needs to know how you're doing, he's the father of this child and I feel at this point he's the only one who can help you. Open up. Don't be afraid or worried so long as he understands that you're telling him the truth. Let him help you work through the things that cause you pain. Come on. Let's go. Don't forget your map."
Arya nodded defeatedly and pushed herself into a standing position. "Alright, but would you at least help me in front of my people?"
"Because that is a different circumstance, yes." He promised and bowed to her.
She smiled a soft smile. "I hope you know I would be so much worse if you weren't here."
"You would be just fine, Arya. You're very intelligent."
"Well, thank you." She stepped closer to him and pressed her forehead to his, and she felt his snout touch her abdomen.
Just then, Fírnen flinched back and she looked down at herself with a frown. "What happened?" She asked, and suddenly, he started laughing. "Fírnen, what happened?" She grew more concerned the longer it took him to respond.
"He kicked my nose." He continued laughing, but Arya's eyes just widened and filled with tears.
"What?" Her voice croaked as her hands slid around the swell of her belly. "You… you felt him kick you?"
"Mhm." Fírnen hummed aloud. Sure, her Juniper has felt a little bit stronger over the past few days, but that didn't mean he'd be strong enough to-
It was her turn to flinch as something nudged her hand. "Oh…" she whimpered, her voice had dissipated almost entirely. "D-do it again… please?" She whispered softly, her breathing seeming on the brink of absolute panic.
When she didn't feel it again, she felt like something in her shattered. Fírnen was like a steady rock to lean on, he helped her constantly. All she ever seemed to do was work herself into a knot that continued to constrict itself over every part of her body and every section of her mind. She's done no good for her child, of course he's not fond of her presence, despite living in her.
Fírnen must've seen the look of pure hurt on her features when she didn't feel her baby kick a second time. He could feel it too: the sheer rejection and sense of failure were so powerful in her mind that she felt completely useless to the world, unable to comprehend how much she meant to those around her because she meant nothing to her child.
"Arya, you need to stop thinking like this. Your brain is running amuck and you and I both know these thoughts of yours are entirely untrue." He brought himself closer to her and nuzzled against her shoulder to let her know he was there.
She sank to her knees, no longer able to stand on shaky legs and Fírnen moved with her, keeping contact with her as she went.
He once again pressed his snout to her abdomen and she leaned forwards, wrapping her arms around his face as her body shook with the effort to restrain her tears, leaning her forehead against his own
"Stop holding things in. You need to cry, so cry. You're well overdue and I guarantee you'll feel better. Stop thinking of how others will see you and focus only on your own health. Just… let go." He let his voice have a soothing quality to it, hoping it would have more influence on her than his normal convictions.
He felt her relax against his snout just before she fell to the side and passed out.
A/N: I had a really hard time writing this, and I think I'm gonna need a bit of a break. I don't know if you guys know this, but I'm also writing an original story of my own that I hope to get published one day and recently, I've felt more compelled to work on that than this. I know you guys like this story and I like it too, so it's not going to get orphaned or anything like that, I just need a break, that's all. I've also decided I want to change careers as well, so I have to deal with the stress of that. I wonder if writing on this will help me deal with that, we'll see. I just don't want to give you guys crap chapters, y'know?
More on the topic of this story, I'm going to need to come back and look over this one because I don't know if I really like it. The point is there and it went the way I wanted it to, it's just not as elegant as I'd like it to be. That being said and as rough as it is, I hope you guys liked it anyways. Once again, I wrote about twenty pages of this same chapter, just different versions and situations and it was beginning to give me a headache.
On a fun note, though, I ended up on Reddit and left a comment on a post thing about the Menoa Tree, so I offered my theory about it, which ties into this story. It was pretty cool that one of the people who responded knew exactly which fanfiction it was, and I just felt so awesome after that. I've not been doing so well recently, and that just made my day beyond words, so thank you to the person who recognized it! (I don't have my phone on me now, I don't remember where I put it, otherwise I'd give credit to the user)
As always, I love you all for reading and sticking with me so far. I don't know how long I'll be gone or how frequent updates will be, and I am sorry about that, but I feel that a break is necessary.
-Lady Arlo