Chapter 22: Crumbling Walls

This is Gospel by Panic! At The Disco

Fantasy by MS MR

Draco sat on the edge of his bed, his elbows on his knees as he carded his shaking hands through his hair. It had been over a month since term started at Hogwarts and the school had been taken over by complete and utter chaos. All of his classes, if you could call them that, were banned from speaking any "blood-inclusive" topics. The Death Eaters were heavily monitoring what was being taught outside of the classes they taught themselves. Students were being tortured in way of "detention" and those who refused to administer the punishments were being crucioed themselves.

"You okay, mate?"

Draco looked up to see Blaise standing before him, the right side of his brow bloodied and the distinct tear in his bottom lip that said he was biting through it while being crucioed again. "Are any of us?" Draco replied.

"I guess not," Blaise said. "You have any more of that potion for the shakes?"

Draco shook his head, "No. They started keeping my parcels. I think they caught on to Mum sending the potions."

"You think we can brew it?"

"I know I can brew it. But I don't have all of the ingredients in my kit."

Blaise sighed, sitting next to him on the bed. Draco watched as Blaise's hands jerked wildly before a deep convulsion ran up his spine. "Bad luck."

"Yeah," Draco snorted. "Luck."

Silence fell over them as they sat, staring at the floor. Soft gasps and the occasional grunt escaping them as phantom pains assaulted their muscles and encompassed their abilities to think properly. Draco wondered if Blaise was thinking the same thing he was. Wondered if he wanted it all to just end the same way he did.

Hell, Blaise had even less to fight for than he did and that was saying something. Death Eaters had taken his Mum just after the start of term when she refused, once again, to join them. He had no other family, no siblings. His girlfriend, Alannis, never showed up for the start of term. Not to mention his two best friends were a piss-poor excuse of a marked Death Eater who could barely function from the amount of times he'd been crucioed, and his sister who was on the run doing Godric knows what with Potter and the Order.

Draco dreamed of the end between the nightmares that were his reality. He dreamed of the day that he would finally succumb and be sucked into an inky oblivion to rest forever without the fear that tore through him at every waking moment. He dreamed of the release of death, the release from the heinous demands that plagued him. He promised Ellie he was okay, and that he would be okay.

He lied.

"I'm going to find Weasley and Longbottom," Blaise said, his voice a broken whisper.

Draco pulled himself from the depths of his quickly spiralling thoughts and stared at his friend with wide eyes, "You're going to what?"

"I'm going to them," He said, his voice sounding more sure than it had in weeks. "I'm going to help them with whatever it is that they're doing. I can't fucking live like this anymore."

"They're being tortured more than we are," Draco pointed out.

"I don't care. I'm going to get it anyway, may as well have a reason for it."

"And your reason is…?"

Blaise sighed and looked at Draco, his dark eyes boring into Draco's own pale silvers with an honesty he had never seen in his friend before. "Alannis was- is a Muggleborn. Did you know that? Because I didn't. I looked for her on the train, do you remember? Anthony Goldstein told me that her mum decided to homeschool her this year. I knew it was rubbish. Mum wanted me to stay home too, and she was tortured for it. I knew her parents wouldn't let her be homeschooled."

"How did you find out she was a Muggleborn?" Draco asked. "If you were told she was homeschooled…?"

"She told me she was a Half-Blood. I think she was afraid that I'd love her any less if she weren't. Padma Patil told me. Alannis was arrested when she got to the platform, her parents and little brother were taken away. Killed, probably. Her little brother was twelve, Draco. Twelve. Hadn't even gotten through puberty yet. My girlfriend is more than likely rotting in Azkaban because she's a Muggleborn, and she lied to me about it, because she was scared."

"Shit," Draco said, his breath caught in his throat. "Mate… I… I didn't know. I-I'm sorry."

"I don't want your apology. I just want you to understand that you aren't the only person suffering. Look around you. Everyone is. And I'm tired of ignoring it. Ellie is out there, presumably fighting to end this. Why should we sit here and wait to see what happens?"

"Blaise, I can't." Draco said.

"Can't or won't?"

Draco swallowed the lump in his throat and took a deep inhale through his nose. Blaise was right. He was already taking extra cruciatus rounds to keep the Carrow's from firing them off at first and second years who couldn't defend themselves. They talk a lot of Slytherin pride but they certainly have no issue carving scars that read "dirty blood traitor" into the hands of children who don't understand what they've done wrong.

"It's more complicated than that," Draco argued. "I'm fucking marked! I can't just ignore direct orders!"

"So ignore the indirect ones and come with me," Blaise said, his tone pleading. "I know you can't ignore direct orders from that snake-faced bastard, but you can still fight. Ellie is. Ellie chose. You can choose differently now too. We all can."

Draco stared at Blaise, chewing over his words while his heart thundered to life in his chest. The feeling of his blood rushing to his ears and his breath hitching from adrenaline was almost sickening. He hadn't felt anything like it in months. He had spent so much time focusing on Occluding to avoid feeling anything that the excitement that passed through him at the thought of fighting against the people who were literally killing him and hunting down his sister, had bursted through him with little warning.

"What happens if we do this and Potter fails?" Draco asked.

Blaise shrugged, a smirk pulling at his features and crinkling his eyes in a way Draco hadn't seen since last year. A mischievous, borderline devious look stole him, "Then we die anyway."

Draco stood, shoving his hands through his hair again and pacing the room a few times, trying to calm the nerves pulsating through him. "I mean, we're going to die regardless."

"That's the conclusion I've come to,as well," Blaise agreed.

"And Ellie… Ellie is out there, doing who knows what! And if she's out there risking her life, why should I just sit here and do… do nothing. I did nothing before, I did as I was told and didn't deviate and look where that's gotten me!"

"Making strong points, mate."

"I want to die, Blaise. I genuinely dream of what it would be like. So, if I die from this…"

"Dream come true?" Blaise suggested, amused humor to his tone.

"Fucking prick," Draco said, a smirk resting on his lips. The motion felt almost foreign to him now.

"Aha!" Blaise said, jumping to his feet and reaching his hand out for a hearty, slapping shake to Draco's. "There he is! That fucking Malfoy smirk! I knew it was still in there somewhere you bloody prat! You're in?"

"Fuck," Draco said, laughing lightly. "Fuck it. Yeah. I'm in. We'll go to Longbottom and Weaslette tomorrow."

Blaise yanked on Draco's arm and wrapped him in a tight hug. Draco was stiff at first, having never actually embraced his friend like this before. But he quickly loosened and returned it and Blaise kissed the side of his head.

"I love you, brother. Let's make Ellie proud and save my girl, yeah?"

For the first time in months, since arriving at Malfoy Manor for the start of summer holiday. Draco felt real hope ripple through him. He had felt it in fleeting flutters from the message passed along from his father after he saw Ellie at the wedding, and again when he had the chance to hug his sister and pass along information that could help. Information that could get him killed if anyone found out.

Somewhere deep in his chest the shriveled, cold heart that was there began beating again and he wanted to shout from the top of mountains. He would make her proud. He would fight alongside her because he knew, if it came down to it, he would never turn his wand to her again.

Ginny Weasley stared at Draco so intently, it made Draco's skin crawl. Her blue eyes were fierce, her face bruised and her jaw set tight. She had listened to everything Blaise said without interrupting, but stared at Draco the entire time Blaise spoke. He felt as if the girl was scrutinizing his every move, as if waiting to see if he would jump up and attack her.

"So, let me get this straight," She said, finally pulling her eyes from Draco's face and flicking them between the pair of Slytherins. "You want me to believe that you two have… what? Defected? That you aren't really a part of the torturing going on and you aren't revelling in the fact that your lot has the school under command?"

"Our lot?" Draco asked, the first words he'd spoken since this little meeting with Ginny began.

She snorted, the sound full of incredulous disgust. "Yes. Your lot. The Death Eaters. Don't think I don't know you're both marked."

"I'm not marked!" Blaise said, offence obvious in his voice, he jerked his sleeves up to reveal his clean, coffee colored forearms. "Have you any idea who my mum is? If I ever accepted that bloody brand it wouldn't be the fucking Carrow's I'd have to worry about. My mum would slaughter me herself."

"That's true," Draco agreed. "Emiliana would strip Blaise of any and all rights to the Zabini fortune if he got marked."

"What about you, then? I know Ellie was marked. I've seen it. She told us what happened, so I know you're marked too, Malfoy. Why would I help you?"

"Interhouse camaraderie?" Draco suggested.

"You're wasting my fucking time," Ginny spat. She stood up and Blaise quickly grabbed her hand, a pleading gesture for her to sit back down.

"Please," Blaise said. "We all know he's a prat, just… listen to us." Blaise turned and looked at Draco, eyes narrowed. "Can you not be a total dickhead for five seconds and be honest with the witch?"

Draco tightened his jaw but gave a sharp nod. Ginny sat back down and crossed her legs at the knees, smoothing her uniform skirt over her thighs. "Well, go on." She said.

Draco heaved a deep breath and dug his elbows into his knees, looking down at his trembling hands as they hung between them. "I don't want my sister to be out there fighting if I'm going to have to die anyway. I'm the reason she's in this mess. I'm the reason she got marked in the first place. I'm the reason she…" Draco felt his voice hitch and he cleared his throat, swallowing back the lump that had constricted his airways. "She's the only person who ever believed I could be something more than what I was told I had to be. Do you understand that? I have been told for years that I would be only what the Dark Lord needed me to be. This isn't something that happened overnight, Weasley. I have spent years being groomed to be branded."

"That doesn't exactly help your case, Malfoy." She said.

"I know," He sighed. "Just… I have had every decision made for me since I was a child. I have been told exactly what I would be doing with my life. Before he even came back, I wasn't given a choice. I'm the Malfoy heir. I was to take on the family business, marry some pureblood bint that would make my bloodline proud and produce another heir…"

"Get to the point, I haven't got all day."

Draco set his jaw again, looking up from his hands and narrowing his eyes at her. "Ellie is the only good thing in my life. She is the only fucking person who had ever believed I could be more than a fucking Malfoy Heir. She was the only person who ever tried to help me get away from it. To help me out, and I fucking let her down the first time. I won't let her down again. If you don't let us help your little club with Longbottom, fine. But I…" He closed his eyes and his resolve crumbled as he finished his sentence. "I'm not a Death Eater. I don't want to be a Death Eater."

"What is it you want, then?" She asked, leaning forward in the chair, her face still hard but her eyes softened as she searched his face for an answer. "Why are you coming to me?"

"I want…" His face twitched as he sniffed, trying to get the tears that were stinging his eyes under control. "I want Ellie to survive, even if I don't. She's always been too good for me, for all of us, really. I just want to do something that she would be proud of me for doing. For once, in my miserable fucking life, I want to make that girl proud before I die."

"You really love her, don't you?" She asked, her voice softer than it had been before.

Draco nodded, "You've got plenty of siblings, Weasley. I assume you must be close with at least one of them. Tell me, what would you do? If you were on the other side of where they stood, after they begged you to not cross that line… What would you do to show them you were sorry for not listening?"

She leaned back in her chair, mulling over the question as she looked at off at some distant point above his head. She slowly brought her attention back to them and a small smirk tugged her lips apart. "Whatever it takes," She said.

Draco nodded. "Whatever it takes," He agreed.

A thick silence fell over the small group as Ginny seemed to contemplate her options and form a decision. He couldn't deny that while her brother was insufferable and mostly dim, she seemed to be extremely intelligent and introspective. She was known for having a temper, much like the majority of the Weasley clan, but her anger never seemed misdirected or without cause. Draco could respect that.

"All right," She said, standing to her feet and outstretching a hand to Blaise. "You've got yourself a deal. I'll need a few days to talk it over with Neville and the rest of the group. Adjust the wards we have set on our meeting space and all of that… Expect to hear from me soon."

With that, she turned on her heel and exited the dusty old classroom they had hidden in to have this little meeting. Draco stared at the door after it slammed shut, wondering what exactly he had just signed himself up for. He meant what he said. He wanted to make Elara proud, he wanted to be the man she thought he was capable of being. But he had never been that open with anyone before. The Weasley girl just sort of… drew it out of him.

"That was intense," Blaise said, blowing out a slow breath as he scrubbed his face with his hands. "I wonder what it means now? What will they have us do?"

"Can't be anything worse than what we've been made to do before," Draco mumbled.

"Mate, I… I need to ask you something. And I need you to be honest with me, here. I will never tell anyone the answer, if you want me to swear on my magic, I will. But I need the truth."

Draco looked away from the door and arched an eyebrow at Blaise. His emotions had been through the ringer today, they both had. He assumed Blaise would be questioning some things, having never really seen him that emotional before. He wasn't sure he wanted to answer his questions, but he'd let him ask them. "Okay…"

"Have you… Have you killed someone? Since taking the mark, have you-

"What?!" Draco's breath caught in his chest and he felt sick. "Why would you…?"

"I just… I know that sometimes getting the mark can require an initiation of sorts. I-I know you've used the cruciatus on people. I just… I need to know."

"Blaise, I have not and will never avada someone," Draco said.

"There are other ways to kill people," Blaise whispered, his face full of shame of the question he was asking.

Draco sighed, sitting back down on a rickety old chair and ran his hands through his hair. Is this what his life has come to? Begging Weasleys for salvation and trying to convince his best mate since they were in nappies that he wasn't a killer? He felt his chest clench, his stomach turning over on itself.

"I have not killed anyone, no. Not by any means. I have watched more people than I care to admit die by the hands of my aunt or him in my house. But I never killed anyone." He answered, his voice quiet, a jerking muscle in his back caused him to pull forward a bit, grimacing in pain.

"They really fucked you up, didn't they? Over the summer?" Blaise asked.

"It turns out that when the Dark Lord doesn't get what he wants, he becomes rather violent. Who knew, right?" Draco bit out a sarcastic laugh, "Bella just enjoys it."

Two days later, Draco and Blaise stood outside the entrance to the Room of Requirement. Ginny Weasley was standing with them, pacing the floor and mumbling to herself until a door appeared.

"Remember, you made an oath," She said, turning to look at them. "If you say anything about what happens outside of these walls to anyone, it will be painful for you."

"Loud and clear, Weasley." Blaise said.

"This took a lot of convincing. No one is particularly happy with me right now, but we agreed to help any student that asked for it. Apparently you lot count. Do not fuck this up."

"Understood," Draco said, biting the inside of his cheek to try and keep his tongue in check.

Ginny sighed and opened the heavy wooden door, walking through it first and standing to the side to usher them in. Once they entered, the door disappeared completely and they were met with a room that Draco did not recognize.

A large hall filled the space he once knew to be crowded with rows of dilapidated furniture and broken book cases. Instead of withered wardrobes and rusted owl cages, there were cushy armchairs and plush sofas. Hammocks were strung up throughout the room and there even seemed to be a small dueling area to practice in, where enchanted dummies fought back as you fired spells at them. There was a roaring fire against the center wall with a large empty picture frame.

Within seconds of passing through the doorway, silence fell over the room, and Draco wasn't sure he had ever hated the feeling of having so many eyes on him more than he did right now. There were several faces in his year that he recognized, some below him in years.

"What the fuck is he doing here?" Came a thick irishaccent from the broguish Seamus Finnegan.

"We talked about this," Ginny said. "He- they- want to help."

"You said a couple more Slytherins, you didn't say it was bloody Malfoy!" He said.

"A couple… more..?" Draco whispered, his brows pulling together as he looked at Blaise. Blaise shrugged.

"I knew it!" A voice he'd recognize anywhere nearly shrieked and in a blur of black hair and a smack to the chest, he was winded by a crushing hug. "I knew it was you two!"

Blaise laughed loudly as Pansy practically sobbed into Draco's chest. Draco laughed lightly, not realizing how much he'd missed her until now. "Panse, you're crushing me."

"Good," She said. She pulled away from him and swiftly began punching him in the chest-hard. "You absolute arsehole! How could you?! How could you take that stupid mark?" Each word was punctuated with another blow to his torso.

"Argh! Pansy! Stop! I'm- ow- I'm sorry! Augh!" Draco finally grabbed her wrists and held her firm at arm's length. "I'm sorry, okay?"

"This has been a lovely reunion, and I'm really glad to see the snakes back together again. But why are you here, Malfoy?" From the group, walked a much taller, much broader Neville Longbottom. "I trust Ginny, so I told her I'd give you a chance, why are you here?"

He swallowed and looked to Blaise, who raised his hands in surrender and sank back against the wall. Draco clenched his jaw and glared at him, "Wanker," He spat.

"Zabini's family is neutral," Longbottom said. "Yours isn't. We questioned Pansy and Theo just the same."

"Theo?" Draco asked.

"Hey, mate!" Theo called.

Draco looked up and saw Theo swinging above him in one of the hammocks hanging from the rafters. His left eye was bruised and his lip swollen, but he had a smile on his face.

"H-hey, Theo."

"Finally decide to quit being a total tosser then?" He asked, his voice light with amusement.

"Can see you're still talking out of your arse," Draco replied.

"Maybe," Theo agreed. "But I'm not the one on trial. So, why'd you come here? What's got you slumming it with the D.A.?"

"The D.A.?" Draco asked.

"Dumbledore's Army," Longbottom said. "Harry put this club together back in fifth year when Umbridge was failing to teach us proper defense. While you were trying to get brownie points with your little inquisitorial squad, we were learning how to use advanced hexes and charms."

Draco swallowed. He could feel the hatred pouring off the people in this room. Even Pansy was angry with him! He didn't need to have Ellie's abilities to know that every person in this room had no reason to trust him, that he had wronged everyone in here at some point. Theo, Pansy, and Blaise included.

"I'll ask you again, Malfoy, why are you here?" Longbottom said, his jaw pulled tight and his face fierce.

"I…" Draco trailed off, his chest tightening as he tried to think of where to begin.

I wish every day that I was dead so I wouldn't have to live up to the reputation that's been forced on me? No, that seemed far too personal.

I took the mark because I was forced to and I was just doing the best I could to stay alive and try to protect my family? No. While that was true, it seemed too honest somehow.

He wasn't sure how to express what he had told Ginny in the old classroom the other day. It was harder to be open and honest when there were so many eyes on him. With so many people waiting for him to say something that they could use against him to kick him out. When every one of these people would watch him burn, gladly, because he deserved it.

"Well, it's obvious. Isn't it, Neville?" A quiet, sing-song voice came from the back corner of the room, near a set of bookshelves. Slowly the small crowd that had gathered parted and a barefoot Luna Lovegood stood in front of Draco.

"Obvious?" Draco asked, staring at the small witch in front of him.

"Oh yes, I think so." She said, a soft smile on her face, "You want to help your sister. Elara has helped all of us at some point, even if she didn't realize it. Same as Harry. You want to feel closer to her by doing what she would do if she were here. It makes perfect sense, really."

Draco opened his mouth to counter her, and closed it. He stared at her, his brows pulled together and the constant tremble in his hands making his fingers jerk rapidly at his sides. She wasn't wrong. He wanted to make Ellie proud, he wanted to- for once- do the right thing. And he knew that the right thing to Ellie, would be to help her friends get out of this safely.

He quickly schooled his expression, reeling in the shock that pulled his features and tried to steady his hands. "That… That's actually pretty spot on," He admitted.

Luna hummed and tilted her head to the side, staring up at him curiously. "I've seen the Daily Prophet listed your sister as wanted. I do hope she isn't found."

"Me too," He whispered.

"You're really here for Ellie?" Longbottom asked, his angry voice calming a bit.

Draco slowly dragged his gaze from Luna and met Longbottom's eyes. Taking a deep breath, he spoke honestly, "I'm here for myself too. I'm going to die by the end of this, I've made my peace with that. But I won't die fighting against her. I'll die fighting for her, with her. But I won't go battling against her."

Longbottom seemed to contemplate his words a moment before nodding his head and holding his hand out. Draco looked at it for a moment before grasping it, returning the firm shake.

"Welcome to the D.A. Malfoy."

.

.

a/n: Hey everyone! I apologize that this chapter is slightly shorter than usual. However, it needed to happen and it read better as a stand alone chapter! I hope you enjoyed it though! I know I've stayed pretty close to canon (at least as far as major plot points are concerned) and that will remain true. I've just decided I need to tweak a few things to better fit Elara's story!

Anyway, THANK YOU SO DANG MUCH FOR THE BIRTHDAY LOVE! omg, I was so beside myself with the sweet reviews and messages I received! You guys are th T. Please, come join me on my facebook group Mimifreed Writing! We have a pretty good time there!

Please remember to review as well! I love them so much!

Thank you for reading, seriously. It's amazing and I love you all for it!

xo

Mimi