Chapter 39 N's World
Ghetsis was N's father? Like, actual, real, father? And this woman… Hil surveyed her appearance with a much more intense scrutiny than before. She looked thin and fair, a model of idealistic perfection for a woman, a beautiful gown fitting to her form and her hair styled with care. She looked as if she couldn't have been more than twenty-something… but N was eighteen. She had to have been in her thirties if she was really his mother. He gaped in horror at their revelation once his mind recalled that Ghetsis was an old man who looked to be well into his sixties or beyond. All of that aside, N had said he was raised by pokémon… that he had been found at four years old… what…?
"It's no secret that Ghetsis has nearly gotten his way to you, I'm sure," Anthea sighed.
"You… understand that it's him behind this all… not just N…" Hil didn't know whether to be elated or worried and his face flicked between the emotions as he tried to settle on one, especially as his thoughts on Anthea's revelations raced. Dazedly, he mumbled, "Most of everyone else in Team Plasma…"
"Most of everyone in and outside of Team Plasma are fooled," Concordia interrupted. She slicked her hair back. She nodded to Anthea and then began to pay attention to Hil's injured pokémon, brandishing various types of Potions and Healing Items. She set them all out on the table and began to deftly examine each of the pokémon.
"I thought N was their king," Cheren asked in a hushed tone.
"He is our King," Anthea replied smoothly. "And Team Plasma does as he says. But what he says… has been carefully sculpted by Ghetsis and the other Sages…" She clasped her hands together in front of her and looked down. "Everyone in Team Plasma secretly knows this. But Ghetsis… is a charismatic man." She cracked a lovely smile. "He saves people from hopeless situations and offers them a new lease on life. At least, that's what he'll tell you. That's what he told me and Concordia."
Concordia wordlessly treated the injuries on Hil's pokémon. She seemed to have nothing to say on the matter.
"Concordia and I were ten and twelve when he found us," Anthea carried on with her voice hardly above a whisper. She scanned Hil and Cheren for a second and frowned. "I shouldn't tell you what all he did. You two have seen enough of his cruelty that I'm sure you could fill in the blanks anyway… but I will say this. He asked us if, now that he had taken us off the street, we would help him save pokémon from humanity's cruelty. He insisted that we knew of it, too, since we were abandoned by our parents. Concordia and I had no reason to doubt him… and he made me feel very special." She nervously rubbed her hands together. "He started constructing this castle. Four years later, I had N… and then my world fell apart when he told me of his plans. How he wanted to leave him to the forests near the Giant Chasm to be raised by beaten, scared pokémon until further notice, so he would have a well-developed ability to speak to pokémon." She cleared her throat to stave off the emotion strangling her voice. "He was only taken back in when he was four, and I wasn't allowed to let him know who I was to him. Ghetsis told him to refer to me as his sister…" She wiped her eyes. "My son has spent too much time in this castle to see what's true on his own… Too much painful, painful time… Deep down in his heart, he's realized that humans aren't inherently bad to pokémon… But he has yet to come to terms with it."
Concordia finished her ministrations on Hil's team, and she shuffled back to her sister's side. She was noticeably thinner and smaller than Anthea, who cast her a furtive glance, as if urging her to say something. Concordia, much like her sister, clasped her hands in front of herself and shyly eyed the ground. "I know you two have to wonder how anyone can fall for Ghetsis' tricks. The Shadow Triad has told us that you two have constantly butted heads with Team Plasma, and that you," she briefly glanced at Hil, "have even somewhat figured Ghetsis out. You're very observant."
Hil was hanging onto their every word… Concordia was right. He was desperate to understand how Ghetsis had managed to so skillfully manipulate so many people into the palm of his hands. Cheren's breathing had sped up as he was impacted harder by Anthea and Concordia's words. He was being forced to understand N's side of the story. Although Hil knew he had considered the idea that N was misunderstood—Hil had forced him to, more or less—he also knew that Cheren had simply wanted to avoid thinking about the psychological aspect of it all. It was just like him; if he could avoid thinking or talking about feelings, he would. Hil couldn't have blamed him, though… He had realized as he listened to Anthea explain just how deeply invested in N he had become. Someone who hardly considered him more than an annoyance, and Hil seemed to be willing to travel to the ends of the Earth to help him… Part of him admired Cheren's ability to wall himself off from strong emotions like that. Hearing about how N and his mother had been treated… it was awful… It left him feeling hollow. There had been no reason for their family to be so broken. Ghetsis had shattered it for his own selfish gain.
Concordia took a shuddery breath. "Ghetsis has spent a lot of his life learning how humans communicate. How they think. He descends from the royal Harmonia line, but his parents didn't understand what that meant. He never spoke to us about this, but I have a hunch that his mother either lacked the ability to understand pokémon, or hers was severely underdeveloped… He did tell us that when he was young, he brought injured and sick pokémon home. He would tell his parents and others in the village that the pokémon had asked him for help, or that he could feel their suffering. He was rather indifferent to humans, though… People didn't like that." Concordia swallowed hard. "They tried to tell him to stop. From my understanding, he tried, and he couldn't. He felt so much empathy for these hurting creatures… So, he kept bringing them home."
"Then one day he brought home a Deino he had found starving because it had been tied up and left to die," Anthea said quietly. "He told me that when he brought that one home… his parents kicked him out and locked the doors. He was forced to take to the street with nothing but the occasional pokémon at his side, that same Deino included. Ghetsis didn't just want pokémon, though. He missed having a family. He might have been aloof, but he didn't realize until then just how much he enjoyed human comfort. He grew resentful of his ability to understand the feelings of pokémon and he actively tried to ignore that power. He kept the Deino as a symbol of where he came from. He always kept it in a Poké Ball unless it was absolutely necessary to battle with it. Without a home, he traveled Unova listlessly for years."
"All the while, growing to hate himself, his ability to speak with pokémon, and other humans even more," Concordia picked up. "Then, one day, he stumbled across the legend of the Ancient Dragons of Unova… He learned of the prophecy. How there would forever be Twin Heroes of Unova, conflicting with the Ancient Dragons, until peace was brought upon the land. For the first time, he had hope that others had been wrong to label him as the 'freak.' He relentlessly researched the topic. He traveled to Sinnoh. He met so many people. As he grew older, he grew more and more obsessed… We couldn't tell you when he started developing his plans to take over Unova. We were blinded by our faith to him in our early years at his side, and even then, he never talked much about it. But I'm sure it was long before he ever thought to take the two of us in."
Concordia wasn't done, though. "But we know of many of the things he did to prepare for his plans…" She shook her head. "I shouldn't tell you the details… I'll just say we and N aren't the only ones Ghetsis has abused to this degree. The Shadow Triad deserve your sympathy, too, I think."
That infamous nauseated feeling rose in his stomach again. Hil could no longer meet their eyes. He had known it had to be bad… whatever it was… but he hadn't expected this. More alarmingly, what Concordia was describing about Ghetsis sounded much like how N acted. He was insanely empathetic with pokémon and clearly didn't like to hurt anyone… But the raising of the castle, and how he had seemed to momentarily enjoy holding power over Alder's head… He clenched his jaw and breathed deeply. Oh, how he hoped he wasn't too late to save N from following in Ghetsis' footsteps…
Cheren had scooted closer to Hil, likely without realizing it, wavering like his own two feet wouldn't support him. Sounding more like he was trying to convince himself than the sisters, Cheren growled dryly, "Bad things happening in your life doesn't give you the excuse to do all of this."
"I never said it did," Concordia responded to him tensely, narrowing her eyes to slits at him. "We just want you to understand that Team Plasma is comprised of many stories… that Lord N's beliefs aren't complete fantasy. They are based in cold, unyielding reality…" She smiled slightly. "Despite all he's been through, though, he's still so innocent and has so much hope for the world…" Her voice dropped an octave and she warned them, "But don't mistake innocence for harmlessness. There is nothing more beautiful or more terrifying than innocence and blind faith. N has been conditioned to believe things can only be one way or the other, and he's had a revolving door of injured, pained pokémon presented to him over the years. He does everything thinking only of pokémon and the idyllic world he wants for them."
"So, New Hero of Truths…" Anthea whimpered, "please… save my boy. Don't let him lead N down that same path of heartache. But please be careful…"
Hil's body lurched and he turned away from the sisters, planting his hands on his knees and keeled. He took deliberate, big breaths in and out to try to fight the sick sensation in his stomach. He felt Cheren awkwardly pat him on the back. Saying nothing about all they had revealed, Hil asked hoarsely, "Are my pokémon okay? Noodle kept jerking his head…"
"He suffered a really deep cut," Concordia answered, "but he'll be okay. I… don't know if that tic will ever go away, though. I'm sorry."
Ghetsis had laid waste to so much in his mad climb for power. He recalled the blowup on Tubeline Bridge, the way he ranted about always being the strongest. His fingertips dug into his knees as he stayed leaned over. That nasty, all-consuming feeling of hatred washed over him again. Tragic reasons or not, Ghetsis' cruelty was unforgivable, and he wanted to make sure he knew that. Along with the rage, though, there was an undercurrent of something more relaxing. Some of the sisters' words had relieved him. As ominous as Concordia's warning about N's innocence was, it helped ease his mind about N being too far gone…
Because N wasn't too far gone. N just didn't know any better.
All the suffering Ghetsis had wrought for years would not be for nothing.
"Thank you for healing his team," Cheren said at last. "But we should get going…"
"Indeed… Head for the top floor of the castle. There you'll find the Throne Room. That is where N wishes to battle the Ancient Dragons of Unova," Anthea urged. "Hurry, New Hero of Truths."
After recalling his pokémon, Hil and Cheren spilled back into the halls of the castle. It was once again strangely silent. They didn't make it far up the next floor before two Shadow Triad members interrupted them and directed them to yet another room. One of them tilted his head toward the entrance to the room and whispered, "That room was what was provided to our Lord N."
"I don't feel anything when in there…" the other muttered. "But maybe you will…"
With that, they were gone again. Hil eyed the door warily. He wasn't sure what to expect and he was honestly afraid of finding out anything worse. To his surprise, it was Cheren who stepped forward and opened the door. He slowly and uncertainly picked his way further into the room. Hil could only just barely make out the floors and walls, noticing they were a bizarre assortment of bright blues, whites, and purples. Steeling his nerves, Hil crept after Cheren.
The room was quite large but looked like it was designed for someone that couldn't decide whether they were a toddler or a teenager. The floor was azure with a cloud print, the walls checked purple and deep blue, there was a skateboard ramp separating a twin bed from the rest of the room, a basketball hoop, and a well-worn train set. A basketball, which looked as if it were chewed and scuffed on all sides, lay beneath the hoop. A warped skateboard with rusty wheels sat at the base of the ramp. Plushies and plastic figurines were strewn about the room. Aside from the skateboard, everything in the room looked… new… freshly-used… even the bedsheets were tossed and unmade as if someone had leapt from them just earlier that morning…
It suddenly felt as if the walls were closing in on him and Hil had to rush back out of the room. He hugged himself tightly and marched away from the entrance altogether. Cheren sped after him. "Hey! Wait for me!"
"Sorry," Hil licked his dry lips, "I just… couldn't stay in there anymore."
"That's okay, just… surprised me, is all," Cheren said. They walked along, their shoes squeaking against the glossy floors, for a while before he spoke again. "Hil… I think you're right for wanting to help N so much… I can't believe that you were able to pick up that much by just hanging out with that guy for a few minutes at a time…"
They came to the foot of a long stairwell, longer than the previous ones that led to higher hallways of the castle. Hil swallowed hard as he truly believed this final ascent would lead to the Throne Room Anthea and Concordia had spoken of. "I just hope I can still help him," Hil said lamely. "I just… don't want Ghetsis to hurt anyone else. I want N to see the truth, that pokémon and people belong together, that while there may always be some people who hurt pokémon, there are far more than that who care… That there's more to the world than… this…" Hil gestured vaguely to the castle around them and shivered. "But also… I'm scared."
"…This might be a stupid question," Cheren laughed nervously, "but… why scared now?"
"Because I know truth hurts… and if I show him the truth, then his whole world's gonna fall apart," Hil whimpered. Again, he cursed himself for being so invested in N's mental state. He inwardly cringed as he wondered what Church would think if he knew just how badly Hil itched to show N the truth, what he would think if he knew how badly Hil wanted to befriend that man, knew how badly he wanted to show him everything good the world had to offer now that he knew how limited N's experiences had been… There was more shame at how he realized his mind was running wild with thoughts of what he could do with N as if they were just going to be perfect buddies after all of this was over. He internally reprimanded himself. He knew better. For all he knew, N would hate him and want nothing to do with him once all was over with. Voice heavy with emotion, he sighed, "But if I don't… he's going to help put pokémon in harm's way by giving Ghetsis control. And I think that would hurt him so much worse…"
"Showing him the truth is the best idea, I think," Cheren suggested softly as he placed a hand on Hil's left shoulder. He squeezed lightly. "If there's anyone who can help him pick up the pieces after… well, I'd have to say it's you."
They stepped into the Throne Room. Hil felt a warm tingle run up his spine and briefly dispel his anxieties. "Thank you, Cheren."