This was no normal dream.

She was rapidly learning that hers were rather unnatural for both mages and Grey Wardens, but even for her, this was different. She had expected darkspawn, memories that weren't her own, or even nightmares about the evils they'd learned Branka committed.

But no, she found herself standing in the Fade. Not in the same way someone would experience their dreams, but it felt like herself. She felt fully conscious, completely aware, totally in control. She wasn't sleeping despite having fallen asleep. This was real.

Elissa swallowed, unsettled. What was it Wynne had called her? A dreamer? Had she entered the Fade without intending to?

She recognized this place, wherever she was. Cobblestones jutted out from dead grass, consumed by the passing of time, and crumbled spires towered still far overhead. Impossibly curved and yet sharp arches were before her—a clear path, one that beckoned her forward, but she hesitated.

From her limited knowledge, Elissa didn't think that urge was wise to act upon. She knew nothing of demons, only that they would try their hardest to possess any mage they happened upon.

Would that even affect her, though? Wasn't she already possessed?

It wasn't very reassuring, but something inside her propelled her feet forward. Whispers of conversation reached her ears, just conveniently out of reach. The voices were familiar, comforting, reminded her of a home she couldn't recall, of family she didn't recognize.

A deep sadness formed in her belly, and then she understood. This wasn't her home, her friends, or her family. It was the spirit's, from a life it couldn't remember. The feeling it gave, it didn't believe it was truly their own past, but someone else it had once tried to protect like it was doing with her.

She couldn't place the accent to the voices, or the style to the architecture. Neither could the spirit, and that only made them both sadder. It felt it should know, should understand and remember, and it couldn't—the regret there seeped over into her own feelings. She felt like she should know these things, like it was her responsibility. She felt like these faceless elves around her were hers to protect and remember, and she couldn't.

Elves.

Elissa gulped again and paused. These were elven voices, elven shapes surrounding the dilapidated path. These were not her things to see or hear, her memories to possess, and yet here she was, holding them so close and yet so far out of reach. They were ancient, long forgotten glimpses of the past, and every person she saw, she forgot as soon as she passed.

They were not hers, but Elissa felt so profoundly connected she couldn't help feeling like she should be an exception. This life she was seeing felt like part of her own.

"What is this?" she wondered aloud.

"It is you."

Her heart stopped beating, here and out in the real world. She was so distantly aware of her body, resting on a too-thin blanket spread out on cold stone.

When she turned, she found herself in the great hall at Highever. Deep red and gold carpets adorned the floor, statues of old teyrns and teyrnas adorned small alcoves sculpted into the walls, bookshelves everywhere, and one large, roaring fireplace at the far end of the hall.

"This is me."

Beside her, she felt...something. A presence not entirely unfamiliar, but unique. It was alien in its own way, but it was her.

"Why did you bring me here?"

"I do not want to be at odds with you," the spirit said. "I have done everything in my power to keep you safe."

Elissa tried to turn, to look at it, but when she did, she was aware of it moving. "You almost killed my brother and my friend. Why should I not be at odds with you?"

When it spoke again, it sounded far away. "I have been with you since childhood and I have guarded many like you before. Do you not think that perhaps your emotions would affect me as I affect you?"

She frowned, again turned towards the spirit, and again found it elsewhere. "Isn't that how spirits become demons?"

"I am no demon," the voice hissed. The venom there was obvious, and what was once far away was now only inches from her face, still invisible.

Fear pooled in Elissa's belly. "Then what are you?"

"I am what you have already decided upon," it said. "Mortals have such thin understandings of spirits—you would think us all mindless beings worried about how honorable or wise we were."

"So you're a spirit of hope?"

"I find myself drawn to mortals in need of aid," it said. "You, a flailing babe with no knowledge of how the world works, and yet in possession of the greatest powers your kind know of."

"I'm not—"

"You are."

She bristled, but something told Elissa it would be stupid to try and piss the spirit off. Morrigan had told her as much, and it would be wise to remember it. "If you could talk all this time, why haven't you?"

It didn't answer. A heavy silence hung between them and silence crept over the whispers. Eventually, the only thing Elissa could hear was her own thoughts, and she wondered if it left her here. According to Morrigan, she was supposed to be able to enter the Fade at will, but she hadn't done so. Perhaps this spirit of hope had dragged her here to show her something, as it had probably tried the first time.

Elissa just didn't understand why. She didn't know what it was trying to show her. She didn't know the first thing about magic, much less spirits, and for some reason, this thing had chosen her for whatever its purpose was.

Maybe she was the clueless idiot it thought of her as.

"Why me?" she asked.

This time, it answered.

"I didn't choose you," it said. "You chose me."

Elissa frowned. "How?"

"Many of what you call 'dreamers' do not survive for long," it said. "Demons, curious and weak spirits call out to your kind, and few can resist. I try to help, to instill a feeling of safety, but..." It paused, voice heavy and filled with emotion it shouldn't have. "None have sought me out like you did."

Elissa almost laughed as she shook her head. "I didn't look for you. I didn't want any of this."

"Didn't you?" it demanded. "The youngest of three siblings, the only girl, so desperate to be as strong and brave as your brothers, to prove needlessly prove yourself to your father?" Its voice was closer now. If it was a person, Elissa would be able to feel its breath on her neck. "You had visions as a child, a magical gift few could even dream of, and you still did not feel equal to them. You still needed to be better, be stronger, and when I heard your plea for help, I came."

She swallowed past a lump in her throat. That didn't make sense. She couldn't have known she was a mage until she cast her first spell, so there was no way she could've looked for this thing.

"It was strange to me to see a mortal such as yourself so...hopeless. It was a curiosity."

Elissa didn't want to think about it. She didn't want to even entertain the idea that she did this to herself, consciously or not. She didn't want to pretend that she hadn't, either.

"Why can't I see you?"

"I am stranded," it said. "Ages ago, a man I cannot recall the name of summoned me, and I have been outside of the Fade ever since. Very few mortals interest me, but when you are called..." It trailed off. "There is no choice for my kind. Choice leads to disaster, but so does a summons. I have not met many who have remained pure afterwards."

"Can't you just cross the Veil?"

"It is not that easy. I have been searching for a way home since I was brought into your world."

"But it's possible?"

The lack of a response gave her hope to be rid of this mess. Perhaps there was a mage somewhere, or someone, who knew just enough about possession to free her.

"I cannot come here without you, and you cannot leave without my aid."

"But I have more questions."

"No, we must go back. Your companions are eager to return to the surface and so am I."

Knowing that the spirit could actually acknowledge her in its own way made the march back to Orzammar all the more unsettling. Every interaction Elissa had, it was there, watching, with its own opinions and thoughts.

Part of her had always known it was a constant presence, but this was just really hitting it home for her. It made her wonder if withdrawing in herself would be better. Rather than have feelings and thoughts that weren't hers, Elissa would've preferred closing off everyone again, and saving herself the confusion.

It had said it had been with her since she was a child. What if she didn't feel the way she did about anything, and all those feelings and her personality belonged to the spirit?

This needed to be fixed. Elissa couldn't go back to the angry ball of hate she'd grown up as. It was exhausting feeling so spiteful all the time. It was exhausting having no conversations of substance with Aedan, though they still didn't really have those. All they spoke of was the Blight and darkspawn. Every waking minute of their lives, his moreso than hers, they had to worry about the monsters.

Elissa was more determined now than ever—she was going to survive this Blight. She was going to rid herself of this spirit and she was going to forget she'd ever been able to use magic. She was going to forget about her dreams, forget the spirit, forget everything.

She just wanted to be Elissa, but the problem was, she didn't know who Elissa was. She wasn't the hateful person she'd been months ago, but she wasn't...this person, either. Who was she?

That thing inside her, she swore it pitied her. How depressing must it be to sense this power in a person, and then find them to be some idiot like her? It said it protected her, so how annoying must it have been to protect a mage that didn't know how to use magic? How pathetic was it to have found a dreamer, someone with such a strong connection to the Fade and to magic, only to have them be completely clueless?

She would never be like Morrigan or Wynne, so in-tune with themselves and their powers to be confident in them. She would never be like Aedan or Fergus, easily the best swordsmen to field a battle.

Why am I trying to be something I'm not?

Elissa was no mage. She was no warrior. She could be so much more if she would just let herself, but the very idea of it was terrifying. This spirit could teach her any spell she might ever need in the blink of an eye. Its very existence allowed her to use a forgotten magic without even trying, and Elissa only wanted to be like Aedan or Morrigan?

She was being narrow-minded. She could be capable of so much. Those elves she'd seen in the Fade, with all their whispers and clamoring, had been doing things. Using magic, swords, shields, spears. They were all things the spirit had seen, been a part of, and if it knew of it, she did.

They were one and the same. When it was showing her the elves, it had said it was showing her herself. It had shown her everything she could be, everything she could know, and she had been too confused and nervous to understand. Every mage it had protected, it retained the knowledge it could. It knew of magics the Circle couldn't even dream of. When it spoke of her visions, it hadn't even remotely seemed surprised, like they should've been commonplace.

That was what Elissa was ignoring. A vast wealth of knowledge and experience, just because she was afraid of a spirit.

But it was just a spirit, and not a demon. If she was careful, what harm could come of listening to it?