A.N.: things are very heavy right now, especially here in the USA. I wanted to make a quick note to all of my readers, especially any readers I have who may be POC in light of recent events, and let you all know that you have my love and support, and this will always be a safe place to come for distraction and entertainment. There's a lot to be done, a lot of change that needs to come, and I am with you, I'm on your side. This is not nearly enough, but I felt remiss not saying SOMETHING with what teeny platform I have here, anonymous as it is.

I really love each and every one of you that comes here to read my stories, and I want all of you to be safe and happy and healthy.

The events in this chapter are synced with the movie Thor

Kagome stood rigidly at Loki's side as he addressed their friends from the throne. They pled for Thor's return, and he declined and sent them away.

They bowed one last time, addressing them both, calling her queen. She fought the bile that swam its way up her throat.

Loki turned to her, his green eyes soft and concerned, and he gently grabbed her hand and pulled her over into his lap.

"Darling, there's no need to be so nervous, I know you hate this, you never asked for it, but you were made to be a queen. I promise you you'll grow used to it."

He kissed her forehead and she choked back a sob. He was so very sincere. He meant every word, he was genuinely worried after her stress levels and her reluctance to step into her role as de facto queen while Odin and Frigga were out of commission.

But that's not what bothered her at all.

No, underneath Loki's surface sentiments something dark was swirling, something that was eating him little by little. He'd assured her he was fine about the fact that he was an adopted frost giant who'd not only been technically politically kidnapped but left to die alone in the first place, but she knew that could not be true. It just couldn't, not if the state of aura was anything to go by.

She faintly remembered long, long ago, when she'd still been in school and shortly before falling down the well, she'd had a friend who found out unexpectedly that she'd been adopted. That had caused her such grief, such major whiplash and confusion about her identity that the whole family had had to start counseling. She'd confided in Kagome about it a few times, and then her shard quest had kept her away and her friend had moved.

But if her friend had had such a hard time getting through that kind of scenario when everyone involved was a human, how could Loki have her believe he was just fine finding out he was another species entirely? And that wasn't even touching how this may have played into Odin's favoritism.

She reached up and lightly traced down the bridge of his nose, watched his eyes flutter closed and his aura lighten just a little at her touch.

"You know I love you, right?"

His eyes popped open and they swirled and shimmered with so many things, But her heart broke to find uncertainty there. Did he not believe her? Surely he could sense no falsity in her.

Did he... not believe he deserved it anymore?

His aura dimmed, and the little fissures of darkness spread a little further. Her heart sank as he put on an obvious mask of contentment and leaned down to once more brush his lips to her forehead.

"I'm afraid I have to go, I have much to do. I will see you tonight for dinner."

She watched him walk away, watched his aura fluctuate brokenly, and pushed down a rising well of panic.

'What the hell am I supposed to do? He won't talk to me about this, but I KNOW it's bothering him..it's BREAKING him. He's... he's going to have a mental break. How do I help him with this?'

She paced and chewed her nails, taking a quick mental stock of what she knew, what her options were.

'I never got to go to college, so I don't have even a basic psyche class to work from. But I do have a big, BIIIG library!'

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'Healing Wounds and Illnesses'

'The Olden Tome of Healing Arts'

'How to Heal a Life'

'Battle Scars and Backaches, an Exhaustive Guide to Healing'

'The Asgardian Pocket Guide to Feeling Better Fast.'

'When Your Aspect Goes Awry'

Book after book after ancient book she'd found on these dusty shelves, they piled up around her, caging her in.

For hours she poured over each text, looking for any spare scrap of information she might be able to use. Her hands were littered in paper cuts but she'd long since stopped feeling their sting.

When the very last book once again turned up nothing, she gave up with a defeated sob, covering her face with her arms on the table, feeling hopeless and exhausted and so far out of her depth.

Did Asgardians just not get mental illnesses? Did they never feel anxious or depressed or overwhelmed or paranoid? That didn't seem right, she was sure she'd witness some of those things and more in her centuries here. Maybe it was just... harder to break an Asgardian mind than it was a human mind? They would certainly have different brain chemistry, which would mean different treatments..

'I don't dare ask the healers, I can't do anything to draw any more negative attention to Loki...'

And then a thought struck.

'Oh my gosh, how could I forget? Loki is NOT Asgardian! He's a frost giant! Which means this whole thing has been a complete waste of time. I bet there isn't one book in all of Asgard about Frost Giant physiology.'

Despite the divinity of his aura that matched the rest of the Gods in Asgard, Loki had a frost giant body. If there was any medical way to help Loki through this crisis, it would not be in an Asgardian medical book.

'Which means Asgard accepted him just as it accepted me. I bet he hasn't even considered that. If nothing else proved his worth...'

She tossed the last book on the large table she'd commandeered, sending a puff of dust into her face that she waved away with a cough. Her previous high at finding something to do, finding a task that could be helpful crashed and burned at her feet. It left her feeling desolate and lost all over again.

'And it's not like I can ask anyone, no one else knows! Unless...'

She didn't know just how many people knew of Loki's status as a frost giant, outside of her, Odin, and Loki himself, but if Frigga knew...

She stood abruptly, and with a determined stride she went straight for Frigga and Odin's room. She knocked gently on the door, and when the queen opened it for her, she welcomed her in warmly.

"Oh Kagome, I'm so pleased to see you."

"I'm sorry I didn't come sooner, things have been... crazy, to say the least. I didn't want to intrude."

"Of course dear, I understand, but you could never intrude. Come in come in, sit down."

She sat at a little table, Frigga taking the seat across from her. Stress lines marred her brow and suddenly Kagome felt guilty for not realizing that her surrogate mother might have needed a distraction before now.

"I'm sorry about Thor. And about Odin. I can't imagine how much stress you're under."

"Oh my dear, it's quite alright. I'm certain Odin has a plan in all of this, there isn't much he does without a specific purpose."

"Still, it must be terribly overwhelming."

Frigga sighed and stared off for a moment, gathering her thoughts, always careful with what she said.

"It is. This time it is. But luckily I've got you. When Odin is in Odinsleep, I'm usually left to keep holding the mantle as queen, but with you here, I can step back and just be."

Guilt filled her again that she hadn't stepped more into her new role, however temporary it was, and she smiled wryly to herself that once again the well-being of someone else is what pushed her to do things she just didn't want to do.

"I'm not sure how well I'm doing, but... I'll try. Has... has Loki been by?"

"Oh yes, he's come to visit a few times. He's so very worried for his father, and for Thor."

"Is he?" Kagome asked, trying very hard to keep the surprise and disbelief out of her voice, but she had never been a good actor. Thankfully Frigga was too distracted to notice.

"I know there has always been some dissension and rivalry, but Thor and Loki were always close, especially growing up."

"You know, I've never thought to ask," Kagome trailed off, messing with her fingernails, aiming at nonchalant since trying to seem curious would probably make her sound as panicked as she felt. "I know Thor is older, but how much older?"

"Not by much," Frigga replied with a sigh, leaning back in her chair, casting her mind back and smiling fondly with memories. "Truthfully it's a bit odd for siblings to be so close in age here, unless they're born at the same time."

"Was it very hard giving birth to another baby so soon after the first? I have some limited knowledge how it is for human women but with gods... there are a lot of variables I'm sure."

Frigga stood and walked across the room to the window, and by the way her aura cooled, Kagome knew she was hiding her expression.

"It was a challenge, but one that's been worth it. I wouldn't change anything."

'Clever of her to speak only truth around the lie. Maybe that's how've they've managed to hide this from Loki for so long. But at least now I know that SHE knows, and she's not talking. And I'm back to square one.'

"I'm sure it was. I should leave you now, I've got to meet Loki for dinner. Do you have any messages to pass along?"

Frigga turned away from the window then, and came to see Kagome out of the room. She patted her cheek in that sweet motherly way that soothed fears she didn't even know you had.

"No. But I'll tell you what I've told him. I'm so very proud of you both for the weight you've taken on. Don't lose hope. Soon Thor will return and Odin will wake and all will be as it should."

She nodded and left, but Frigga's words fell through her soul and echoed like a gong, a warning bell of what was yet to come. Far from feeling reassured, Kagome found her way to the dining hall with an ever deeper sense of growing dread.

A.N.: this may be very "Loki-Stan" of me but I genuinely believe Loki experiences some kind of mental/emotional break during the first Thor movie. For eons he lived in peace on Asgard as a prince and as Thor's beloved brother, and while his jealousy, only made worse by Odin's favoritism, did lead him to mess with Thor's coronation, his behavior grows increasingly angry and erratic once he finds out he's a frost giant. When people find out they're adopted, especially much later in life, it can be a very hard thing to reconcile and can make people feel a whole lot of things. Sometimes it's fine, but sometimes people need help to sort out what that means for them as a person, for their identity... it's a lot. Sometimes people may even act out or lash out. I think it's unfair to paint Loki as this eternal villain when for most of his life he was just fine. No one feared him, no one suspected him of being treasonous, just mischievous and a little jealous. The events of Thor really seem to be the actions of someone who's very hurt and lost. They weren't GOOD actions, I'm not trying to excuse them, but he wasn't being mean for meanness sake. Alright I'm done "discoursing." See you in the next update!