Chapter 22: Tobias
Summary: Severus visits his father in prison.
Almost a month passed without either of them mentioning Tobias. Even though Severus couldn't stop thinking about the man he kept himself from asking, trusting that mother would keep her promise.
He had mixed feelings about meeting his father. He truly hoped that the big scary man had changed. Severus spent most of his time daydreaming about what things would be like if he had. As much as he wished his father would turn into someone like Mr. Potter with his kind eyes and comforting presence, he knew it wasn't likely. Mother certainly didn't believe that. Still, it was possible that he had changed a little. Severus only hoped it was enough. All he wanted was for his father to smile more and spend time with him instead of drinking with his friends every night and he never wanted to see the man yell at his mother and make her cry ever again.
Some nights he'd have nightmares. He'd dream of their old gloomy house and of his father's face twisted into an ugly scowl. When the dreams were bad, the man would be looming over him with raised fists and Severus would wake up crying. He never told his mother about the nightmares, afraid she would refuse to let him meet his father if he did. He'd wipe off his tears and climb into bed with her. Mother never complained about it. She planted small kisses on his forehead and cheeks to wake him up in the morning and smiled at him, even as her eyes shone with worry.
The day Eileen told him they were going to the prison to see father, she looked apprehensive and as much as Severus had anticipated the visit, he started to feel anxious as well. His anxiety only grew as they were about to leave, to the point where he couldn't put on his shoes.
"What's wrong?" asked his mother, worried. "You don't look well. We'll go another time."
"No, I want to go now." mumbled Severus. If only he could get his heart to beat slower.
Mother sighed. "You're too stubborn for your own good, sweetheart." she said as she ran a hand through his hair fondly. "I've already visited him once, you know." she added hesitantly.
"You did?"
"Yes, a few weeks ago. The first time you went to your friend's house." she explained. "I needed to see him before I took you."
"Why didn't you tell me?" asked Severus, frowning. His mother was in a habit of keeping secrets it seemed.
"I'm telling you now."
It was Severus' turn to sigh. "What was he like?" he asked a moment later, biting his lip.
"He was sober, which is good." she said reassuringly. "He says he regrets what happened and I believe him but I don't think he understands what he did wrong. Apparently, he's been pestering everyone from our old town for years to find us. He says he wants to be a better father." she paused. It seemed she was at war with herself. "I don't want to take the chance away from you to spend time with him but he needs to prove that he's capable of caring for you first. I've told him as much. I'd say he'd be on his best behavior today, so no need to worry."
Severus nodded. He took a couple of deep breaths to calm himself and let mother put his shoes on for him. Once that was done, she put her arms around him and apparated them. As their feet landed on the ground, Severus felt the world swimming around him and held on to her to steady himself. Eileen waited patiently, drawing circles on his back. He pulled away once he felt steady enough and they moved towards a large concrete building. When reached the entrance his mother stopped and kneeled in front of him.
"You sure you want to go through with it?" she asked, looking at him searchingly.
Severus nodded, giving her a small smile.
"If you change your mind at any moment, we'll turn around and leave." she promised and took his hand in her own.
They went through a few doors and down a few hallways. His mother talked to a couple of guards along the way, showing them their identification and answering a few questions. At one point they had to go through a metal detector. Severus barely paid attention to any of it, his heart filled with equal parts hope and dread. In the end, they reached a large room with a few sets of tables place in the center. They sat down at one of the ones.
Severus folded his hands in his lap as he looked around. All the chairs were bolted down to the floor and everything was either metal or painted a sickly yellow color. All in all, it was a very depressing place. He wandered what the cells looked like, probably no more cheerful than this.
"He's here." mother whispered, grabbing one of his hands in her own.
Severus looked up as two men walked towards them. One of them was a guard and the other was a tall man with broad shoulders and a big nose. His father's eyes found his and the man stopped in his tracks for a moment before walking the rest of the way to their tale and sitting in one of the empty chairs, not taking his eyes off of him.
Severus studied the man before him. He looked a lot thinner than he remembered but still seemed to be as strong as he used to. His hair had a few strikes of white in them and there were a few lines on his forehead that didn't used to be there. He started to feel uncomfortable as a frown formed on his fathers' lips and the man's eyes narrowed.
"Tobias." said his mother, a warning tone in her voice.
The man turned to glare at her. "Why is he so small? He's twelve, isn't he? Don't you feed him?" he asked, his voice rising with each question.
"Calm yourself, Tobias!" hissed Eileen, pointing with her head to the guard who was standing close by.
Tobias closed his eyes for a moment. "Well?" he asked, more subsided.
"As I told you before, he was sick for a long time. You didn't honestly expect him to get out of it unscratched, did you?"
The man ran a hand through his graying hair. "Is he healthy now?" he asked shakily.
"He is. He needs to make up for lost time is all."
Severus frowned. He didn't like that they were speaking about him as if he wasn't sitting right there. "Mother says I'm going to grow tall soon." he said.
His father turned to him once more, this time barely meeting his eyes. "I'm sure you will." he said.
"And I always eat well. There's plenty of food at home and at Hogwarts, too." he felt the need to clarify.
"That would be that magical school of yours. What's that like? Do you get along with the other kids?"
Severus nodded, smiling. "I have a lot of friends. Remus is my best friend and there's Sirius and James and Peter; They're all my roommates. My other best friend is Evan but he's in another house. We seat at potions together and we study at the library sometimes. The rest of the time I study with Remus in the common room. There's a big fireplace there and all the furniture is red and gold, which I don't care for but it still isn't that bad. James loves red and gold. He's obsessed with anything to do with Gryffindor. I like Slytherin colors better; that's Evan's house. They live in the dungeons. We Gryffindors have a tower and so do Ravenclaws. Their house color is blue …" he trailed off, realizing he was babbling. He threw a nervous look at his father.
Tobias was leaning closer and he looked almost disappointed as he stopped talking. "And your teachers? What have you learned so far?" he promoted.
Severus grinned, perking up again. "Professor McGonagall is our head of house. She's strict but she's a lot nicer than she lets on. She teaches transfiguration, which means turning things into other things. Our first lesson was turning a matchstick into a needle but mine turned into a worm." he paused. It made him a little sad to think about Bob. "My favorite subject is potions. Mom doesn't let me make them at home but I brew all sorts of potions at school. For first year the potions are simple, like the one for curing boils and later we'll learn to make more complex ones. There are potions for all sorts of things, like for healing and getting rid of pest."
"That's useful. Do play any sports?"
"The only wizarding sport I know is quidditch. We have teams for that at school. This year we had flying lessons but next year we get to try out to be on the team. I want to become seeker. Mr. Potter says I'm going to make the team for sure."
"Who is this Mr. Potter? Your teacher?"
"No, he's James' dad." explained Severus.
Tobias frowned, leaning back in his chair. "How often do you see that man?" he asked, his tone heavy with suspicion.
"Whenever I go visit James. He's teaching me flying technics." answered Severus. He was confused at the man's reaction. "Would you come to my games when I make the team?" he chanced asking.
His father's expression darkened. "I won't be leaving this hell hole your mother has put me in any time soon." he sneered and turned to Eileen. "Have you been seeing this Potter? Is that what it's been all about?"
"How dare you accuse me of such a thing! He's a married man."
"I wouldn't put it past you, you rotten …"
"I want to leave!" Severus cut in, raising to his feet. Tears filled his eyes. How did it go wrong so quickly?
His mother rose as well, putting a hand protectively on his shoulder. "It's alright, sweetheart. We're going home." she said firmly.
"No! Don't take him away. I'm sorry." said his father quickly, looking uneasily at the guard who had stepped closer.
"I'm not going to force him to stay if he wants to leave. Don't make this worse"
"You'll have him write to me though, right?"
"It's up to him."
Tobias turned his pleading eyes to him. Severus felt something twist in his heart at that look.
"Please, son. You can tell me all about your games. It'll be just like I'm right there."
Severus swallowed. He gave a small nod and then followed his mother out of the room. He kept glancing back as the guard took his father away. This wasn't at all what he had expected.