Eugene's going through with his plan. How will it turn out?
1. There's some serious topics addressed in this chapter and this is my warning: If you're not comfortable with reading about thoughts/inner dialogue about depression and suicide, then I completely understand if you can't pull yourself to read this chapter. I can promise you all, though, that nothing too serious actually takes place. Like some of my previous chapters, there are things that are insinuated and hinted at in the minds of our characters; but I promise you that nothing graphic is described in detail (Spoiler alert: (To put this more simply: no one actually commits suicide)).
2. This is an edited version of this chapter. Check author's notes at the bottom of the page for any changes.
3. As always, apologies for any spelling/grammar mistakes that fall through the final cut. I hope you enjoy reading this chapter.
Chapter 27 - The Chains of Her Sorrows: Part 4 of 4
Subtitle: Let me in!
Type: Four-shot
Description: Eugene makes his climb, and quickly comes to the assumption that Rapunzel's dealing with something far worse than anything he could have ever imagined.
Eugene reached over the railing and planted his right hand's arrow into the brick wall. He maneuvered it in a way so he could get full control, so it could hold all of his weight before throwing the left arrow to its side. He was standing on the railing by now, and slowly, he led himself downwards all the way until he finally dangled. His hang-climb had just begun, and his destination is right in sight.
Ever so slowly and carefully, always aware of the potentially fatal outcome should he make one wrong move, he picked and placed his arrows in precise spots between the bricks. They were old, but they were not broken and could hold his weight for a free climb should this plan fail in some way shape or form.
Thankfully, none of the bricks proved to be all that unsteady, and in the matter of ten minutes, he made it over to her balcony. He wiped a line of sweat off his forehead and his chin, his neck; basically all parts of his face that were once bearded, stung from the chill of tis outside environment. He failed to bring a jacket because he foolishly thought he did not need one.
This is already going swell.
He walked a few steps and looked through her balcony window into her grand bedroom. Her murals on the front wall were visible from here. He saw one of Pascal, a few of her parents, and…
He choked and held back tears when he saw this next one
It was a representation of him, the biggest one of them all. She had painted her tower, him climbing her tower to be more specific. At the very top, there she was, leaning over the edge, staring happily at him with her long and bright blonde hair twisting and twirling in the wind. He could've sworn he was smiling happily at her, too.
It's...it's the most beautiful piece of art he's ever seen, and this is the first time he's seeing it. To be fair, he hasn't been in her room for weeks. And that's all completely his fault, not hers whatsoever. He told Rapunzel almost four months ago that he'd be there with her every night to be a shoulder for her to cry on, to be a pillar for her to lean on when she needed support.
But his body and his mind have just been too damn exhausted. Whether he knows it or not, the stress of these Prince Consort classes, the work he does at the orphanage, and especially the work at the docks; all of it has been taking a toll on his health, both the mental and physical kind. He's become a stronger man than he's ever been in this short time - again, both mentally and physically - but he has also become a much more damaged, emotional, and attached man because of it.
He looked to the far right of the corner of the room and saw her. She was sitting at her desk, face down, pencil in hand...doodling, or scribbling, or even writing something...perhaps a note? He can't tell which of the many options it could be because of the horrid angle he has from this spot outside.
Her face was not visible so he did his best to not let his thoughts betray him, to not even try to think about the way she looked right now. But he couldn't hold it, and all the images came bustling in. He just imagined her face all red, puffy, her eyes blood-shot from all the tears she's probably cried today. He slowly lost himself to his thoughts and he barely even noticed Pascal carefully pry her door open before crawling outside.
Eugene felt the soft tug on his pants and looked down to see the little guy donning a frown with widened eyes full of sadness. He bent down and picked him up, holding him in his palm. "How is she, bud?"
Pascal whimpered and looked down, shaking his head. "That bad?" Eugene bit his lip and turned back to look at her. "I know you're doing your best, and I'm really thankful you've been there for her."
Pascal mumbled something to him quietly. "I heard. She's blaming herself for my insolence," he chuckled, but it was not a happy chuckle. It was one out of concern, of nervousness.
"What's she doing over there?" He gestured to her with his eyes. Pascal spoke to him again. "Writing? You mean ..like letters?" Pascal nodded slowly and looked up to him, but his eyes were telling a different story. Those aren't just any normal letters...
"No...no.." He shook his head. Immediately these dark and disastrous suspicions came and rose up into his head. She...she can't...she can't be thinking..
All of a sudden, he found himself feeling very light-headed.
"What is she writing!? Have you read them!? What is she saying!?" Pascal only looked up to him with pleading eyes and Eugene choked out a faint cough, dropping to one knee.
This is all my fault.
I should've known.
She is hurting, she is hurting so much, so much more than….I could've ever imagined... her heart is broken….she's broken!
..What have I done!?
..WHAT HAVE I DONE!?
Eugene clenched his eyes shut and chose not to fight the rush of tears that began to rampantly fall down onto his cheeks. His eyes dampened with wetness in the matter of seconds after he came under the realization, or the most likeliest assumption, of what kind of letters she's writing.
Suicide letters.
"What have I done!?" Without even thinking, Eugene jerked his hand to the two arrows he used to climb and threw them into the darkness of the night. He watched as they fell away onto what he suspected to be a nearby road before turning back to the door, pounding his fist against it and screaming into the dark and blank nothingness that now took hold of his whole world, not a care about who or what may hear him.
His heart cannot not hold in its screams any longer.
The pain has become too much to bear.
Rapunzel spent the entire day in her room moving from one corner, to one seat, then to another corner, then to another seat….all day long. She just has not been able to get comfortable.
All day, her body has felt so tired, her brain has felt so weak and drained from her outburst earlier in the morning.
Her fire ran out by noon. She intended to place a new log in it before it eventually died out, but was deathly afraid of making one wrong move and then causing more damage than she had already caused. If that was even possible, she thought.
She's gotten so immensely bored by this point, craving to do something, to do anything. The time she's spent locked up in her room today has reminded her about what torture it was to be locked inside that tower for eighteen years. There was a very real part of her mind that craved this feeling of isolation again after lashing out at her Mother and Father, but now...she just wants to go outside. She wants to smell and feel the grass and dirt again, as she still yearns for that feeling, that sensation she's dreamed about for such a long time during her years inside her prison.
She wants to let the wind in her hair, to let it flow through her short locks that have only grown slightly since Eugene cut it back in the tower.
His name. Eugene.
Just the mere thought of him has put her on the brink of crying. If she hadn't already done enough of that throughout the day, she would've broken down right here as she's finally found her new seat at her schooling desk in the corner of her room.
She's been spending time ripping out a bunch of papers from her little notebook, and has begun scribbling different notes and letters to all the people she's met in her life, apologizing to them for everything bad she thinks she's ever done.
She doesn't want to feel like this anymore. She hates this feeling in the pit of her stomach, the feeling of hopelessness, the feeling of being stuck, alone, and cold. But her mind has been so twisted and turned to the point that she believes she deserves this form of punishment. She thinks she deserves this form of abuse she is putting herself through.
It's almost as if there's two very different people pulling at her brain, pulling at her very movements and thoughts. Telling her to do two different things, and she's found herself having a hard time trusting either side.
She has written letters to her Mother, her Father, every single castle butler, servant, guard, her ladies in waiting, the...sweet little red-haired girls who braided her hair that one day in the town, the pub thugs, Maximus, even...even Pascal.
But there is still one letter she has yet to write.
All of her letters contained some form of apology, saying she's sorry for being a burden, sorry for everything. She doesn't yet know if she wants anyone, the people specifically she's written them to in particular, to see them yet.
Rapunzel held her quill tightly and scrunched her eyes, a few tear droplets dropping on this mostly blank piece of paper. The only exception to this blankness was the spot where she had written his name very sloppily at the top left corner. Though, it was now getting smeared by the wetness of her tears. She crumpled the piece of paper up into a ball and threw it across the room into her wastebasket before grabbing another piece and just scribbling down random thoughts and notes.
And that was when she heard the bang and the scream. She jumped in her seat and immediately turned her shoulders and head in almost a complete 180 degree angle and saw him outside her window, his fist still held up against her door. He was on one knee, and looked….he looked hurt, in pain.
She threw her hand to her face to prevent herself from screaming. Eugene wasn't looking at her, he was staring down at the floor. If she could just move slowly...and quietly..
And then his head lifted and Rapunzel finally met his eyes.
Eugene's face was wet, his eyes were puffy and Rapunzel knew immediately that he was in the middle of a crying fit. She stood there shocked, afraid to move, afraid to even breathe, as he quickly collected himself and stood outside her door. She quickly noticed that Pascal was perched on his shoulder, too.
Her bottom lip began to tremble and she felt the growing urge to cry, but nothing came upon it.
The two stood in their respective spot for minutes, just staring at each other, neither of them not knowing what to say or do in that very moment.
For whatever reason, Rapunzel feels a pull to him. She wants to move closer to him. She wants to feel his breaths up against her face, his rough fingers rubbing down her skin and sides. She wants to press her body up against him and feel every inch that he has to offer.
But she can't have him. She doesn't deserve him. He's too good for her. He needs to leave her so she can drown in her sorrows!
Eugene bit his lip and furrowed his eyebrows from the outside as he watched Rapunzel do nothing but stand there. He had not yet touched the door handle to check if it was locked, but his assumptions and thoughts had him convinced that he already knew the answer. He has the hairpin in his pocket ready whenever for him. But he found himself to be frozen in place.
When he saw the faint glisten from her eyes that were now slightly dampened with the beginnings of tears, his chest tightened up and that's when he finally jerked his hand into his pocket, grabbing hold of the hairpin before forcefully driving it into the lock of the handle. Rapunzel let out a yell and ran to the door, shutting the blinds before she could even think about looking at him, then jerking her head around to the other dresser in the far corner. She raced against the clock as Eugene Fitzherbert fiddled with the lock with all his might, his fingers trembling as his heart ached in pain, while she, Rapunzel Helmsworth, grabbed hold of her dresser and pulled it with all her might until it finally rested up against the door.
Eugene heard the snap. He made his move to push the door...but it was of no use.
He's too late. Rapunzel was able to successfully barricade the door.
He cursed and yelled and screamed as he pounded his fist against the glass door, Rapunzel trembling and falling to her knees as she heard his screams come from the outside again.
There I go again hurting someone I love...
"Rapunzel! Rapunzel, can you hear me!?"
Her lip trembled even more and she crawled up into a tiny ball on the floor, laying on her side and crying quietly to herself, her tears dripping and soaking the bare wooden floor below her. "Rapunzel! Rapunzel, please! Let me in! I-I need to see you! Please!" Eugene kept banging and Rapunzel's cries only grew louder as she tried to negate the effect his words were starting to have on her.
"Go away! Please, go away!" She swatted her hand in the direction of the door, even though he could not see her.
"I'm not leaving you! I'm never leaving you!" His voice choked in his throat and he fell to both of his knees. He was still banging, clearly not as hard as he just had been, but he managed to let out a beastly scream that only terrified Rapunzel even more.
"You need to leave! You need to let me go! You need to move on, find someone…" Her voice cracked as she let out more sobs in her small little ball on the floor. Her room was freezing and she wore nothing more than a thin nightgown.
Eugene sobbed uncontrollably and tilted his head forward to rest it up against the glass, before finally relenting and lowering his fists to the ground.
It's...it's no use. He's too late, and now...this is where it ends. This is where his new dream ends.
But a part of him still, somehow, possessed the will to continue fighting for this new dream...the biggest and most important dream he's ever had!
"I'm not leaving," he croaked quietly.
Rapunzel's eyes scrunched up, You're wasting your time!"
"Rapunzel, you're not a waste of my time! I-I feel alive, I feel like myself when I'm around you! You complete me, you make me whole!"
"Lies! You're lying!" she hissed violently.
"I won't lie to you!" His voice then went quiet and he whispered to himself, eyes closed and his fists clenched, "not this time….not anymore...never again."
If there were any doubts in his mind about proposing, they had all been thrown away into the nightly darkness just like those arrows. Once he said those words, there was no going back.
"I know the truth," she continued, hissing, "I know that I've ruined these past two days for us. I know you spent so much time on me and I was too busy to realize you were hurting, that you were in so much pain! You want no part of me! You deserve someone better than me, someone who can care for you in ways where I've failed!"
His heart shattered into a million pieces as he slumped over even more, his head still leaning up against the door. He was on the verge of falling to the ground in a similar manner that she had now, and was barely holding on. Her words felt like daggers to his heart. Never did he ever think words could hurt him more than any physical object before…
"You...you think…I was.."
"No, Eugene, I know. You don't want anything to do with me! And I don't want anything to do with you!"
He chomped down on his lip, perhaps a bit too hard because he soon felt the warm trickle of his own blood seeping down his mouth before ultimately nearing his chin. Pascal looked up at him wide-eyed in horror from the back end of the balcony, as he had stepped back during this whole ordeal.
And that was when his anger started to overtake the sadness he felt in his heart. He pounded against the door and Rapunzel flinched. "No! You, you have it all wrong! That bitch has twisted your mind and after all this time she still has you on a leesh! Rapunzel, you need to let go! Let me help you, I can be the shoulder for you to cry on! I can help you move on! I will help you move on! Your parents and I will be there with you, I-I will always be there for you!"
"Don't you dare talk about my Mother like that! She was the one took care of me; she kept me safe, she kept me isolated from the world because she knew I would end up being nothing but a pain to everyone and everything that breathes!" Rapunzel jumped up from her little ball of comfort and let out a shriek. "You have no right to speak about her! You're the reason she's no longer in my life! You cut my hair without my permission and in doing so, you killed her!"
He heard faint footsteps, her feet pattering against the ground, but those little sounds didn't compare to the ...awful...ear-piercing crash he heard next.
All of a sudden, an eruption of glass breaking and shattering onto her wooden floor filled his eardrums. His eyes widened and instantly dampened within milliseconds, goosebumps...those horrid goosebumps running down his neck, his arms, his back…
He yelled through the blurriness of his vision and pounded the door. "No! Rapunzel, don't do this! No! No! No, please! Don't do it! Don't do it, please, I'm begging you!"
He began to hyperventilate and barely heard Frederic call his name from across the wall. "Eugene! What's happening!?"
No, I'm running out of time! She's not thinking straight, she's not behaving right...she's….she's losing herself….she's going to…
"No questions!" He yelled through the snot that now draped the top half of his lip. "Get me something! Get me something big! Now! I need to break her door, I need to get in there! Don't wait a second longer! Rapunzel's in trouble! She's not thinking straight!" He ran back and banged on it with all the strength he had left.
Frederic's eyes widened. Eugene looked as if he was on the verge of a total and utter mental breakdown, and he himself recognized that face all too well because it was the same one he wore the day the witch had taken Rapunzel. A face of complete and utter fear..
A face of a broken heart.
Frederic ran through Eugene's bedroom and pummeled his way into the hallway until he found his wife, who had stationed herself just outside Rapunzel's door. She was in tears and her breaths were heavy; a few servants who probably were walking by during all this commotion were putting in good attempts to console his wife, but sadly, nothing seemed to be working.
As he placed a hand on her shoulder, she jumped. "Fred-Fred, oh my god, I heard-I heard-"
He enveloped her in his arms, "I know, I heard it too. I must find Captain Jones. Have you seen him?"
"He-he's..he might be at the front..gate.."
Frederic nodded solemnly to his wife and practically ran his way through his grand hallways, alerting every single servant, maid, and butler they had; he was informing them that Castle Corona is now on high alert. He told one in particular to fetch the castle doctor, Dr. Henry, and have him stationed with his wife at his daughter's door with medical supplies on hand.
Running through the hallways, he was able to find and instruct a few of the guards he came by, telling each one of them to follow him. As they swiftly obeyed their royal majesty's wishes, they were shocked to hear what the monarch intended to do next.
The castle was to be put on complete lockdown, an order effective immediately.
A/N: How will Eugene get into Rapunzel's room? Will he be able to save her? Find out next time on 'Living the Dream'.
As for updated, just tried to make some sentences/dialogue smoother.
Edit History (MM/DD/YY):
1. 6/12/20