That night Ben falls asleep before Rey, for the first time since they've started spending nights together. He drifts off after an hour of laying alongside each other, trading slow touches and careful kisses, a communion in pain that can't be understood beyond the two of them.
Rey watches his breathing slow, counts his freckles a dozen times. Then, when she is certain he's asleep, she untangles herself from the sheets and fishes out the first aid kit stocked beneath every dormitory bed. Moving silently, she pulls on her boots and jacket and, leaving Ben sleeping, slips out into the hall.
She's exhausted. It had taken all her will power to not drift off with him. But this is something that needs to be done and it's better off done without him. She finds her way back to the narrow stairwell and takes it to the lowest level, retracing the route to Virya's room. The door is bolted from the outside, an extra precaution while Rose sleeps. Rey knocks.
There is no reply.
She tries again and is again met with silence.
Rey steps in close, speaking as loudly as she dares into the door's seam. "Virya? It's Rey."
Nothing.
Rey sighs. Her time is limited. If Ben wakes to find her gone, he'll tear the entire ship apart.
"I'm coming in," she says, pulling back the bolt and pressing her thumb to the lock.
The door slides open to reveal the same spartan room she'd followed Ben into a few hours ago. A folding chair and card table. A small desk lamp and space heater that kick off thin halos of light and heat. Virya sits on her bedroll, filling out the same notebook as before. This time she doesn't even look up when her visitor enters.
"Hi." Rey loiters awkwardly by the door. "I knocked but you didn't answer."
"You were coming in whether I answered or not," Virya says. "There didn't seem to be much point."
"Right. Well, I brought you this," Rey holds up the first aid kit, feeling as transparent as a figurine of glass. "I thought maybe you could use it."
"And why would you think that?" Virya doesn't even look up.
"Because… your shoulder?"
"What about it?"
Rey frowns, uncertain whether Virya is trying to make Rey say it aloud or if she's pretending nothing happened. Either is a strange, manipulative game.
Virya flips a page and continues scrawling. "You could keep standing there doltishly, wasting both of our time, or you could drop the insipid charity act and say whyever you're really here."
"Alright. I came to talk."
"Lovely."
"Did you know you were the target of the assassination attempts?"
For a moment Virya seems decided to ignore the question. She fills out an entire page in her notebook and then, just when Rey is ready to repeat herself, says, "Sorry. I thought you were here when I answered the same question from Lord Ren."
"I was. That's sort of why I thought it would be good to give it a second go."
"Because you thought you could be more convincing than him?" one of Virya's perfect eyebrows arches. The corner of her mouth curls.
Rey inhales deeply. She can't rise to Virya's baiting if she wants to get anywhere, even if the woman is being stubbornly uncooperative. "Ben handled it… badly. I wanted to ask you myself. As an ally."
Virya's pen stops but her eyes stay lowered on the page. The curl spreads into a thin smile, a wash of bitterness over her pretty face. She murmurs something that Rey only catches the ends of.
"…stand you."
"Sorry? You didn't understand me?"
"No. I said I cannot stand you."
"Ah. Well, the feelings mutual, if it makes you feel any better. But even so, I still think Ben was out of line." Rey starts to cross the room, aiming for the folding chair beside Virya's bed. As she gets closer, Virya tenses. She turns her face away from Rey and toward the wall. A curtain of lush, blonde hair falls between them. But it doesn't fall fast enough for Rey to miss the glimpse of redness rimming Virya's eyes.
Rey halts, briefly stunned.
Virya has been crying.
Rey bites her tongue, knowing the woman doesn't want her coming any closer. Definitely doesn't want Rey making an attempt to sooth her or ask if she's alright. So instead Rey stays right where she is and pretends she hasn't noticed. The cruelest thing she could do now would be to wound Virya's pride as well.
"Look," Rey says. "I know we don't get along. I won't insult you by pretending otherwise. You haven't exactly been pleasant since you got here. But you also haven't tried to screw us over. And we couldn't have gotten as far as we have without you, so… I guess what I'm trying to say is, even though we're not best friends or anything, you haven't given me any reason not to trust you."
"Ren doesn't trust me. I'm surprised you'd take an opposing side to him."
Rey snorts. "That's pretty much the basis of our relationship."
Virya flinches. Rey winces at the less than thoughtful word choice. Relationship probably hadn't the best term to get Virya to open up.
"Anyway, this isn't about Ben. It's about you and me and whoever murdered your family. Whoever is trying to murder you. I don't want to get you in trouble. I just want us to keep helping each other."
Virya keeps her face turned, the curtain of platinum hair between them. "Suppose I did know," she says, as lightly as if she were pondering whether it would rain. "Suppose I knew and I'd been keeping it a secret. What would you do then?"
"I'd do my best to understand why. And I'd ask you to tell me anything else you know that might help keep us alive."
"Then you'd run off and tell Ren," Virya finishes flatly. "You get your information. He gets to pick up where he left off."
"No. If I tell Ben anything, it would only be what he needs to know to be safe, and only on the the condition that he doesn't retaliate against you."
Virya laughs, cold as the ice moon outside. "As if he'd let himself be bound by such a request. Lord Ren would never-"
"He's not Lord Ren anymore, Virya," Rey says, gentle but firm. "You know that in your heart. Kylo Ren might have been an island but Ben Solo has allies. Friends. People he looks out for and who look out for him in return… You could have that too. If you wanted."
Virya says nothing for a long time. Rey can't tell if her silence is due to thoughtfulness, outrage, or just plain stubbornness. She wonders if Virya herself might not even know. But when the woman speaks again, her voice is it's normal, cool tone.
"You could protect me from him. Is that what you're suggesting?"
"Yes."
"You actually believe you're capable of that."
"I do."
"And what if I don't?"
"Then I can't make you," Rey shrugs, even though Virya can't see the gesture. "I can only ask you to try. We can help each other, Virya. We might be one of the only people left in the universe who can help each other now. So at least think about it. Alright?"
Virya stares at the wall. And Rey realizes there's nothing left to say. She's made her case. Now it's up to Virya to decide what to do with it. Rey lays the first aid kit on the foot of the bed. "There's arnica ointment in there," she says, turning for the door. "Not saying you'd need it, but hypothetically it would clear up a bruise pretty quick."
"He'd kill me."
Virya's voice, normally a song dipped in venom, is so low and soft that Rey doesn't recognize it at first. She halts, whirling, but Virya is still turned away, features veiled by her hair.
"No," Rey says. "He wouldn't. He wouldn't do that."
Virya turns, showing Rey her hard, dry eyes. They are red-rimmed but fierce, as if she were turning to face death itself and spit in its face.
Something jerks in Rey, like a chain fastened to her chest. How? she wonders. How could Virya have pursued Kylo Ren, worshiped him even, when part of her believed he was capable of killing her out of anger?
And then just like that, the expression is gone, the moment passed, the window to a woman who lived inside all the Vorian's beauty and coldness is shuttered tight again. Rey stands on the other side, knowing this is one lock that won't just click open for her.
"Here," Virya says. She slides the notebook across the bed.
"What's this?"
"This is every motive I could think of for each family in the Inner Circle. If one of them is responsible for the murders, if one of them is trying to kill me, the reason will be in here."
"That's what you were writing this whole time?" Rey takes the notebook somewhat dumbly. After all that entreating, she'd never expected that Virya was already providing such a wealth of information for them. "Did Ben know you were doing this?"
"He asked me to, during his first visit. It's an analogue hard-copy so it can't be digitally compromised. It took a while for me to write and organize everything, but it's all there. A summary on each of the families on the first page, and then sections organized by household."
"I… thank you."
"I was going to give it to Lord Ren first thing in the morning. But I expect you'll see him before then."
Rey looks up, meeting Virya's eyes. Did she know that Rey and Ben were spending nights together? Or was this just a test to see if they were? Rey searches Virya's face but finds no hints. The First Order must have trained all its disciples in expressionless stoicism.
"If he has any questions about the contents, he can ask me tomorrow."
Rey nods, deciding to take the notebook and finally give Virya what she clearly wants: to be left alone.
When she reaches the door she looks back, but Virya is angled toward the wall again, her face turned away.
"Thank you," Rey says, finding that she means it.
"Stop thanking me. It makes my skin crawl."
#
Excerpt from Virya Vorian's notes on the Inner Circle, Page 1:
Doran Vorian was wealthiest among the Inner Circle families, thus was perceived by the others as biggest threat. Each curried Doran's favor in public while plotting against him in the dark, a not-so-secret activity that only worsened after the Supreme Leader's death.
Only Rosshel sought a true alliance with the Vorians. Doran, however, viewed Rosshel as disposable entertainment. He enjoyed stringing Rosshel along with the idea of a partnership that he had no intention of ever entering.
Rosshel was disdained by the other families, who viewed him as a clinger-on to Doran. However, Rosshel's monopoly over ship tech and manufacturing, as well as his marriage to Talia (formerly a Drakun) bought him a seat in the Inner Circle until his death.
Any of the remaining families could be behind the murders of Doran and Rosshel. What follows is a brief summary description of each: (1) Tannias, (2) Lannlas, (3) Drakun.
Nearly everyone believes the Tannias family is led by it's golden son, Jae Tannias. But in reality, Jae is a puppet for his maternal grandmother, Lady Taeya.
Last year, Taeya had a stroke that changed her from a cunning and careful woman to an erratic, paranoid, and violent mistress. Jae remains bound by his grandmother's emotional abuse and could go as far as committing these brash murders if she demanded it of him.
Infighting among the Lannlas stretches as far back as the ancient line itself. In the last decade alone, there have been over a dozen parricides and enough suicides (both suspect and genuine) to fill every page of this notebook. They are only equally prolific in procreation, thus providing an infinite supply of human sacrifice to their family's bloody name.
Violence comes as naturally to the Lannlas family as their fire-red hair. While they are natural-born killers, I doubt they are sophisticated enough to orchestrate any organized schemes. They are too busy cutting each other's throats to plot against someone else's. They are the mad dogs of the Inner Circle and all dogs require a master. The one exception among them is their youngest, Mikael. The boy is only twelve, but he has an IQ higher than the rest of his family combined and a clear desire to rule. I'm convinced by my few interactions with him that Mikael Lannlas has the intelligence, patience, and ambition to take over the Inner Circle.
Evain and Ewyan Drakun are the darlings of their clan. The twin sisters have been inseparable since birth and their devotion for one another is rivaled only by their arrogant belief that the universe was created to serve them. The sisters believe it is their celestial destiny to rule. The girls have vowed to never let anything come between them, including marriage, and have slain every suitor their mother brought before them, before finally killing the woman herself. They have never shown a romantic interest in anyone outside of each other (though I was once invited into their bed — an invitation I declined). This strength is also their greatest weakness — if you wish to harm one, simply dispose of the other.
Secrets are key to surviving in the Inner Circle, where you're more likely to be stabbed in the back by an ally than in the chest by your foe. And while I've dedicated my life to learning the secrets of the other families for my father, there are undoubtedly more to discover. But the following pages hold all the motives I can think of, organized by family:
#
"It's like reading a tragedy," Rey says, a bit numb as she finishes the introductory page for the fourth time. "I can't even read it objectively to look for a suspect. I just keep finding myself in disbelief that these people actually exist. They're all just so…"
"Messed up," Ben offers.
"To say the least."
Rey had crept back into Ben's room an hour ago. Rather than futilely trying for a few hours of sleep, she'd set up at the desk with the flashlight and Virya's notes. A few minutes in, Ben's voice had asked quietly from behind her, "What are you doing?"
She'd told him about her visit and showed him the notebook. She thought about telling him that Virya had clearly been crying before Rey got there. She thought about telling him that she'd seen something in Virya, just for an instant, something angry and afraid. But ultimately Rey decided to keep those things to herself. They weren't relevant to the mission. And Virya wouldn't want them shared, least of all with Ben.
Ben had sat up in bed and Rey had come to sit beside him so they could go through the notebook together. Rey had quickly been horrified by its contents. Ben had seemed unfazed.
"I mean based on this," Rey says, exasperated, "any one of them could be behind the murderers. Maybe even all of them working together."
Ben shakes his head. "Someone's the driving force. One of the only things these families have in common is that they cannot work together. Not without a Supreme Leader to make them fall in line."
"None of the thing's she's written in here surprise you?" Rey asks. "I mean, you don't seem very surprised."
Ben shrugs. "I lived in this world for a long time, Rey. It's where I thought I belonged."
That might be the most disturbing fact so far. Rey pinches the back half of the notebook and lets it fan a waterfall from under her thumb. Page after page of twisted secrets, outright manipulation, and cold-blooded betrayal flicker past in Virya's elegant script. Rey hates the idea of Ben living in that world.
"When I was on Jakku," she says softly, "I dreamed of having a family. But this…"
"Not all families are good," Ben says, "even ones with better intentions than these. Some families do nothing but hurt one another."
"No wonder Virya is the way she is. She grew up in this."
"She didn't just grow up in it. She embraced it. So did I."
"Wasn't it lonely? Not being able to trust anyone?"
"No," Ben says after a thoughtful pause. "Not at first. Actually, it was a relief. Trying and failing to live up to my family's name… that had been worse."
Rey looks at him, aghast.
Ben shrugs with a forced casualness. "The Light was… unforgiving. It illuminated the darkness in you and condemned it, demanding that you disown and destroy that part of yourself. Maybe that came easily to some, but I could never manage it. And I hated myself for it. Hated the Light.
But Darkness? Darkness was accepting. It embraced those flaws. Told you there was a place for them. Darkness confirmed what you yourself had always known, what your loved ones had always been secretly thinking — that you are impure. Flawed. That everyone is, it's just human nature. Even the Jedi Masters who claim to be so morally superior. Even they would hate, and kill, and betray, if they found a righteous reason to hide behind. A reason like exterminating Darkness, even if lived inside your own flesh and blood.
The only way to survive was to be strong enough to rely only on yourself. To not need anyone. It was safe that way. So, yes. In the darkness, I often felt alone. But in the light, I felt insufficient. I simply chose the lesser pain. And then before I knew it, pain was all I had become. And then, I saw you. I saw you and I didn't want to be alone. Couldn't be. It wasn't even an option anymore."
Rey swallows the knot tied up in her throat and wraps her arms around him, holding him close as she can. "And you won't be," she says. "Ever."