Various & Sundry Villains Part 1

Lebanon, Kansas

"Alright! We've got 'Principia Phantasmagoria.'" Dean threw a large book onto a pile of books in front of Sam and Angela. "We have 'Archive of the Unnatural Occurrences.' And we've got 'Jower et Nuet.' Kind of a weird name."

"Jour et Nuit," Angela corrected in French. "It's, uh, it's French. It means 'The Book of Day and Night.'"

"I always forget that you're like, trilingual," Dean muttered. "So, this is everything that even mentions some alternate realities. So there's gotta be something here that talks about the Apocalypse World, right?"

"Yeah, maybe," Sam muttered.

"Dude." Dean huffed.

"I'm just saying, Dean, Jack was our way over there, obviously, so with him gone…"

"Okay, well, Jack's been gone before." Dean shrugged. "We found him once. We can find him again."

"No, no, he didn't run away. He is literally in an alternate reality." Sam argued in frustration.

"Okay, so we'll just come up with a Plan B, okay? You said it yourself. We just keep our heads down and we'll do the work."

Sam's brows furrowed. "You said that."

"And I was right," Dean replied. "Yeah. So, you guys read, do your Sam and Angie things, I'm gonna go for a beer run."

"Yeah," Sam muttered.

"Ooh can you get me some apple juice?" Angela asked.

"Apple juice?" Dean asked in confusion.

"Pregnancy cravings." Angela shrugged. "Oh! And I want pickles. And Oreos."

"Okay, okay. I got it." Dean replied. "We should probably loop Cas in at some point."

"We'll fill him in when he calls. He checks in every day." Sam replied.

"Yeah, with a bunch of questions and no leads."

"I'm sure he is doing the best he can," Sam assured. "Just go get beer or…" he waved Dean away.

Dean tapped the pile of books before leaving. "Don't have sex in here while I'm gone!"

~/~\~

Outside of the convenience store, Dean rounded the corner to where the Impala was parked, a 6-pack of beer and a grocery bag in hand.

"Somebody help!" Jennie cried. "Please, there's something wrong with my sister!"

Dean placed the beer and bag on the hood of the Impala and rushed to help two young, blonde girls.

"Please, please. Please!" Jennie begged frantically.

"Okay. Watch out, watch out, watch out. What happened?" Dean knelt over Jamie.

"I don't know. Please. She just—she just collapsed. I—We were walking and…" she trailed off. "Aegrota amore." She slipped a hex bag into Dean's pocket. "Doesn't a kiss, like, usually wake up your true love?"

Dean blinked a few times and looked down at Jamie. He slowly moved to place a gentle kiss on her lips and she gasped as she slowly opened her eyes.

"Thank you." She smiled as Dean helped her sit up. "You saved me. Are you Dean Winchester?"

"I—I… Yeah." He stuttered. "How are you feeling?"

"How are you feeling?" Jamie asked.

"Good." He whispered. "Real good."

~/~\~

Dean walked into the bunker, whistling. Grace sat with her parents, drawing with crayons.

"Hey, uh… I think you might be right," Sam started. "I think maybe it's time we go ahead and call Cas, because, I mean, if… if…"

Dean continued to whistle while doing a little spin as he entered the library. He dropped the 6-pack, the grocery bag, and his keys on the table.

"Is Unca Dean okay?" Grace asked.

"Good question," Angela muttered. "Dean, are you all right?"

"Am I all right?" he echoed. "I'm in love."

Sam's brows shot up in surprise. "You… Oh, are you?"

"I mean, I am, like, full-on twitterpated here. Seriously, I can't wait for you guys to meet her." Dean gushed. "She—I mean, she's… She's sweet and she's beautiful and she's just kinda sorta perfect. Anyway, I'm thinking of asking her to move in with me here… if that's cool 'cause this is big time." He opened a drawer and removed the Black Grimoire. "Ahh."

"Uh, Dean, w-what are you doing with the Black Grimoire?" Sam questioned.

"It's a gift. For Jamie."

"For… Jamie?" Sam asked.

"My soulmate." Dean winked.

"Sure. Right." Sam stood up and walked over to Dean. "And did she happen to ask for that book by, uh, name?"

"Yeah!" Dean nodded. "I mean, isn't that kind of cosmic fate, that we actually have it? Like…" he imitated a head explosion.

"Cosmic fate," Sam repeated. "Right, yeah. Okay, okay, okay. I think I know what's going on here. Do you remember, uh, uh, Becky in Vegas? The love spell."

"Unfortunately," Angela muttered.

"No." Dean shook his head.

"Okay," Sam pursed his lips. "I think Jamie must be a witch or demon—

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa." Dean stopped him.

"What?"

"Be nice," Dean replied.

"Just hold on a second," Sam pleaded.

"I can't wait 'cause she's waiting for me at the market, so I'm just gonna…" Dean trailed off as Sam quickly grabbed the keys from the table. "Okay. All right. That's fine. You know why? I'll walk 'cause it is gorgeous outside."

"Wait a second. Dean, listen, honestly."

Sam grabbed Dean's shoulder. The eldest Winchester turned quickly and punched Sam, knocking him out.

"Dean!" Angela stood up.

"Oooh. Right on the button." Dean cringed. "Listen, when I get back from my date, I'll help him ice that." He walked up the spiral staircase.

~/~\~

Dean had a grin on his face as he walked up to Jamie and Jennie, with the Black Grimoire in his hands.

"Where's the car?" Jennie frowned in disappointment. "I wanted the car."

"There you go." Dean handed Jennie the book.

Jamie grinned. "Good boys get a kiss. Close your eyes."

Dean did as he was told and waited for the kiss to come. Jamie started to swing her large sledgehammer when the Impala raced into the parking lot with screeching wheels. Sam and Angela hopped out and ran towards the group, pointing their guns at the girls.

"Get away from him," Sam warned. "You heard me."

"Don't point a gun at her!" Dean yelled angrily. "Hey!" he lunged at his brother and Angela.

"Uhh! No, Dean!" Sam exclaimed.

Angela attempted to pull Dean off of Sam, but Dean knocked the gun from his hands and slammed him on the hood of the car.

"Don't you point a gun at her!"

"What are you doing?!" Sam demanded.

"Don't point a gun at her!" Dean repeated.

"Where is it?" Sam questioned.

"You're jealous!"

"I'm married!" Sam exclaimed.

"There's gotta be a hex bag. Where is it?" Angela muttered. "Dean, please, just…"

"We should get out of here," Jennie muttered. "In case the one with the hair and the lady actually win."

"No, no, no, don't—don't leave." Dean pleaded.

"Bye-bye." Jamie waved as they got into their car.

"Where is it? Huh?" Sam asked before he finally found the hex bag. "Look, Dean! I got it! Hex bag! Wait, Dean…" he frowned as Dean slapped the hex bag from his hand. "Aah! No!"

"I'm sorry Sam. I just—I love her so much."

Suddenly, they were all zapped with a purple bolt of lightning and separated, gasping and confused. The hex bag burst into flames and the hunters looked up to see Rowena.

"Hello, boys. Angie." She smirked.

~/~\~

In the bunker, Rowena was pouring three whiskeys, neat, while Angela drank apple juice.

"Ask me," Rowena prompted.

"How are you alive?" Angela asked.

"Lucifer told us he killed you pretty, uh… pretty graphically." Sam added.

"And he did." Rowena nodded. "But I take precautions to ensure that if I die it is temporary." She handed the boys each a whiskey.

"You're talking about a, uh, resurrection spell, like last time?" Sam quirked a brow.

"Mmhmm." Rowena hummed. "That said, it took a very long time to heal. And I'm not interested in it ever happening again, which is why I need the Black Grimoire."

"What a coincidence," Dean started sarcastically. "You happen to show up right when it's stolen."

"Oh, no coincidence," Rowena leaned against the table. "I felt the book moving. In a moment of weakness, I may have put a tracking spell on the Grimoire behind your backs."

"Moment of weakness, huh? Right." Dean replied, unconvinced.

"Why do you want it so bad? Why now?" Angela questioned.

"Oh, years ago, the Grand Coven cast a binding spell limiting aspects of my magic. There's a page in the Grimoire that may help."

"Help you become more powerful? Yeah, that's what we want." Dean scoffed.

"Help me protect myself." Rowena corrected.

"Let me get this straight," Sam started. "You, uh, felt the book moving and you decided, what? You'd—you'd—you'd just show up and take it?"

"Well, I thought about asking nicely for it, but…"

"Yeah, but you knew we'd tell you to go to Hell," Dean replied.

"Exactly." Rowena nodded. "Now, I'm—I'm worried the girls will damage the book, and you're worried about the awful things they'll do with it, so… Let's… help each other, shall we?"

"We don't need your help. We've handled witches before." Angela reminded.

"You're familiar with our work, right?" Dean asked.

"Ah. Oh, you Winchesters. I've changed. Honestly." Rowena promised. "Having your skull crushed and being burned alive can do that to a girl. And it's my tracking spell, so if you want to find those girls… Well, lover?"

"Okay." Dean relented.

"You'll need me. Slainte." Rowena drank her whiskey. "Oh. One more thing. Where's my son?"

~/~\~

"Fergus is dead?" Rowena asked in disbelief.

"Yep." Sam nodded.

"Killed himself for us," Dean added.

Rowena shook her head. "That doesn't sound like him."

"Right, well, Fergus, uh, uh… Crowley, um, he had changed a lot." Sam explained. "You'd have been proud of him."

"Is that so?" Rowena turned to face the hunters. "Fergus was my only child. And I promise you, I'd much rather have a living son, even one that hated me, than a dead hero."

"Because of him, Lucifer is trapped in another reality," Sam informed. "So…"

"Yeah, the Devil's gone," Dean confirmed.

"Oh, don't be stupid. He's never gone!" Rowena exclaimed.

"Okay, listen, I know what Lucifer is cap—

"Oh, can we not?" Rowena interrupted Sam. "It's like reminiscing about an abusive relationship. Why do that?"

"Let's get back to the book," Dean changed the subject. "What kind of hurt can these chicks do with it?"

"Oh, I'm sure they have big plans."

"Sounds like you know them," Angela replied.

"Just remember being a young, overly ambitious, wee witch." Rowena shrugged. "And I have to give them some credit. Outfoxed you, didn't they?" she chuckled to Dean. "Tell me, did they get to fifth base?"

Dean frowned. "There's no such thing as fifth base."

"Oh, you poor, sheltered boy," Rowena smirked.

"What's fifth base?" Grace asked innocently.

"Nothing that you need to know about," Sam answered. "It's adult stuff."

"Anyway," Rowena chimed in. "What's by is by. And who knows? If I help you, maybe you'll change your mind about helping me."

"No." Dean and Angela scoffed.

"Not happening," Sam replied.