Chapter Twenty-Four

The next week passed by without incident, the only interesting thing of note being the arrival of another regiment of American troops and a squadron of RAF fighters. Any interactions between the two groups of DigiDestined were kept brief and minimal where they weren't avoided entirely, and usually occurring at meal times when everyone trooped into the mess hall. They sat apart from one another, ate quickly and silently, and went on to whatever it was that occupied their time during the day.

Hikari, and by extension Daisuke, spent the days lounging around in a common room, flicking through a smattering of books or watching television, and rarer still coaxing conversation from her guardian as he lingered nearby. At night, they retired to their shared room where she would try to get some more talk from Daisuke but he would often just fall onto his bed and appear to fall asleep, though she knew better.

Tonight, though, they were meeting with Miyako and Ken at a campfire they had built, in part to hold a council of war ahead of the time the soldiers would make their way into the Dark Ocean, which was days away at best, and to unwind. Some of the British soldiers had kindly donated a crate of beers for the group, claiming they each owed Daisuke a drink from his time in the UK when the infections appeared there.

Personally, Hikari would have preferred wine to beer, maybe even some rum, but beggars couldn't be choosers and they made a start on the crate as they discussed their tactics, should they find themselves getting involved, with Daisuke hitting the drink harder than the others. Soon enough he was asleep with both arms folded across his chest, chin tucked tight against it, snoring gently. Hikari regarded him for a moment and couldn't help but marvel at how much he had changed since reuniting with him a month ago.

He was putting on some of the weight he had lost, now that he was eating properly again, and the dark circles under his eyes were gone. If anything, the spark that had filled them during their adventures in the Digital World was slowly returning, too. In time he might return to the happy go lucky person she had once known, but Hikari felt that might just be asking for too much. These past two years had to have had some effect on him, and Daisuke had all but admitted to her there was another side to him nobody else knew about.

Would she even recognise him after the business with the Dark Ocean was over with? Would she still want to call him her friend?

She eventually tore her eyes from the sleeping Daisuke and stared deeply into the heart of the campfire as the flames danced and flickered, casting a soft orange glow over her and everyone else, dwelling on those thoughts and one other, one that had been gnawing at her for the past few days at least.

'Can I talk to you guys about something?' she asked, raising her head to look at Miyako and Ken, perhaps the two best people to help her with it.

'Sure,' Miyako said. 'That's the whole purpose of this campfire, to talk. Or sleep, in Daisuke's case.'

'He needs it, I'm sure,' Ken said.

Miyako nodded in agreement to that then said to Hikari, 'So what's up?'

'I think I'm falling for Daisuke,' Hikari said quietly, drawing her knees up to hug as she went back to staring into the fire. 'Maybe. I'm not sure.'

'I wasn't expecting that,' Miyako said after a long, stunned moment. 'You mean, actually falling for him? Like you might want to have a relationship with him?'

'Yeah,' Hikari said before shaking her head. 'I don't know.'

She half expected Miyako to make some quip lambasting her choice in potential suitors, as she usually did with Daisuke given the nature of the relationship they had, but instead she said, 'What brought about this sudden change in your feelings about him?'

'I don't know,' Hikari said. 'That's what I need to talk to you and Ken about. Part of me thinks that I'm just feeling lonely since breaking up with Takeru and after spending all this time around Daisuke, I'm simply latching onto him as a means of coping.

'Another part says I feel guilty for turning him down all those years ago, and for breaking his heart like I had, and that I want to make it up to him whilst I still have the chance. Too much of my dream has come true already. How long before he gets killed?'

She whispered that part and looked at Daisuke as he continued to snore away, oblivious to the world around him. Standing off a ways was his suit, ready to spring into action in case anything happened to her or Daisuke.

'I'm curious, too,' she continued after a moment. 'About who he really is, who he's become. He's not the same reckless kid from two years ago, is he? Not anymore.'

'No,' Ken said in agreement. 'He's not. He has changed, Hikari, and that might include how he feels about you. He might not be as receptive to the idea of being in a relationship with you as he once was.'

'I know,' Hikari murmured before letting out a short, soft laugh. 'Funny, isn't it? After all these years of him wanting me, the moment I start to feel maybe there's something to be had he moves on.'

'Not really,' Miyako said. 'Have you told him about this?'

'No,' Hikari said, shaking her head. 'Assuming he doesn't reject me, he'll probably think I'm making fun of him or something. I broke his heart in a big way, remember? He probably hates me.'

'I don't think Daisuke has it in him to hate anyone properly,' Ken said.

'Yeah, well I don't think anyone's given him enough of a reason to hate them before,' Hikari said. 'He loved me and I basically left him for dead.'

'And he's seen how much that upset you to realise it,' Ken said. He stopped and looked at his best friend for a moment, wrestling with some kind of decision, then added, 'I probably shouldn't be telling you this, Hikari, but I think Daisuke might still have some feelings for you.'

'What makes you say that?' Hikari said, switching to look at Ken.

'Because when he rang the day before coming here, I asked about you,' he said. 'And he tried to make out like he was over you, angry with you, that nothing could make him say otherwise. But, it sounded like he was trying to convince himself this was true as much as he was trying to convince me.'

'You're sure?' Hikari asked.

Ken shrugged. 'Mostly. I thought I could spot when he was lying before, though after what he said about MaloMyotismon I'm not as sure as I once was. It certainly sounded like it.'

'But why would he be trying to convince himself he hates me?' Hikari said.

'Maybe he's angry with himself for still being in love with you,' Miyako offered. 'Think about it from Daisuke's point of view. The girl he loves abandons him, twice in a sense, and yet he still wants to be with her? I'd be angry with myself if that happened to me, and maybe try to convince myself I actually do hate her.'

Hikari gave a noncommittal hum to that and switched back to Daisuke. He was still sleeping, though his brow had furrowed slightly as though he were angry, or struggling with something, and he grunted something out before settling again. She wondered once again what kind of dreams, or nightmares, he had and whether she played a role in any of them.

'He looks kind of peaceful,' Ken said quietly.

'He looks kind of drunk,' Miyako said, gesturing to the half a dozen empty cans surrounding him.

Ken laughed and said, 'That, too.'

'What should I do about him?' Hikari asked.

'Talk to him,' Miyako said. 'It won't do you any good to keep it bottled up until the last minute, especially as they'll be heading off to the Dark Ocean sometime soon.'

'Maybe,' Hikari said. 'Assuming I am actually falling for Daisuke and not just feeling lonely after splitting up with Takeru, or guilty.'

'You'll never know until you try,' Miyako said, smiling faintly. 'Besides, you could do a lot worse than Daisuke.'

'There was a time when you said I could do better than him,' Hikari said, laughing, as she looked at her friend.

'I know,' Miyako said. 'You still can, but you might struggle to find them.'

Hikari nodded and returned her gaze to the heart of the fire, becoming mesmerised by the glowing embers there and the flickering of the flames as she thought about what Miyako and Ken had said. She was surprised by the possibility Daisuke still had some kind of longing for her, though perhaps not as much as she might have been. Captain Ishida had hinted at it during their conversation at the hospital, when he showed her the pictures of all those call girls that Daisuke had hired because they looked like her.

She was surprised more by how quickly her attitude towards Daisuke had changed in so short a time, even in spite of the antagonistic attitude he treated her with. Did it stem from loneliness after breaking up with Takeru, or a guilty conscience compelling her to try and atone for the hardships she had forced him to endure, or a genuine desire to become more than friends with Daisuke?

An answer was not quick in coming and Hikari gave a soft sigh as she continued to mull it over, looking up when Miyako and Ken stood.

'We're heading back,' Miyako said, slipping her arm around Ken's. 'Are you coming with us?'

'No, thanks,' Hikari said, shaking her head. 'I think I'll spend a little more time out here before I go. It's a nice enough night, after all.'

She pointed upwards to the star filled sky of the Digital World and the numerous, unnamed constellations it contained, and Miyako nodded in understanding. They waved goodbye to one another, leaving Hikari alone with just a sleeping Daisuke and his immobile suit for company. She waited until Miyako and Ken were gone before moving to sit next to Daisuke, hugging her knees again, who made no outward sign he was aware of her proximity.

Either he was a very good actor or he was deep asleep. The problem was, Hikari had no idea which was true. For four years he had lied to everyone about MaloMyotismon, among other things, without anyone being any the wiser, including his best friend.

What he couldn't ignore was when Hikari rested her head on his shoulder and stared, listlessly, into the fire as she thought things over.

He roused himself and raised his head, looking at her, and said, 'What are you doing?'

'I'm sorry,' Hikari murmured softly. 'For everything I did.'

'Yeah, I know that,' Daisuke said. 'What I'm asking is, what are you doing?'

'Thinking, I guess,' Hikari said. 'Do you remember what you would have done on our date, if I had said yes?'

'No,' Daisuke said. Then, without prompting, a moment later said, 'Yes.

'I would have taken you on a walk around the waterfront, maybe gone on the Ferris wheel if the weather was nice enough, and have lunch in a café or something. You know, keep it simple and give us time to talk.'

'And figure out a way to say I love you?' Hikari said.

'No,' Daisuke said. 'Not on the first date. I would have waited a little while before saying that, once we were going steady.'

'Why did you decide to ask me out?' Hikari asked.

'Because I was in love with you,' Daisuke said, turning away.

'You also thought Takeru was the only one destined to be with me,' Hikari said, making Daisuke grunt.

'Maybe I started to think destiny could shove it,' he muttered. 'Back then, anyway.'

'Do you still think I'm destined to be with Takeru now?' she asked.

He grunted again. 'I don't know what to think, anymore.'

'Neither do I,' Hikari said with a sigh.

She raised her head from Daisuke's shoulder and glanced at him, seeing he was still turned away from her, and said, 'I would have liked your idea for date.'

'Great,' Daisuke muttered. 'Good to know.'

It was Hikari's turn to look away. She really would have liked to have gone on a walk around the waterfront with him as a date, talking about things they might not have done with the others around and getting something to eat in a cosy café or restaurant afterwards.

'I'm sorry,' she said again. 'I know I keep saying it, Daisuke, but that's because I know I really hurt you with what happened.'

'There's an understatement,' Daisuke said.

'I know,' Hikari said. 'You were one of my closest friends and I acted like I didn't care that you were gone. If there's anything I can say or do to try and make up for even a fraction of what I did, Daisuke, please tell me. I want to make things right.'

He was silent for a long, long moment thinking, then she heard him sigh and say, 'I know you do, Hikari. I know you do. I just don't want you to. I need to hate you. I want to.'

There was definitely anger in his voice, Hikari could hear that, just like there had been when they met for the first time in two years but it sounded like the edge had come off, if only a little, and while some of it was pointed at her Hikari couldn't help wonder if some was being directed at himself, for still harbour feelings over the girl that had broken his heart.

'Sometimes we don't always get what we want,' Hikari said softly, echoing their conversation from a week ago. 'And sometimes, lying to ourselves about what we do want can cause more harm than good.'

She turned back to look at Daisuke and saw his eyes were growing watery as he focused on a random spot away from her, and he barely even flinched when Hikari leant over and put her head on his shoulder again, saying, 'If you want to hate me, hate me. If you don't, well, it's no café but there's always the mess hall.'