New day, new chapter
As always, thanks for the favs and reviews. The positive ones always mean something special, but after the 'drama' I had to address in the author's note, they meant a great deal, so thank you to those who wrote them.
To the person asking if I could leave out the "stuff" on the Archive of Our Own reposting: No. I am not going to censor my story. Especially since the entire point of posting on AOO is to add stuff to it.
archiveofourown (_dot_) org /sulla_of_rome
Someone asked what everyone's ages were in this story. Like most fictional stories I've left it unstated, but the general range is: Ron is 18, Shego is somewhere around 22-23 (I've heard that speculated for her age as of the later seasons during graduation). Luke is 32-33ish, Astrid is 27, Heather is around 20.
To answer their other question of what Luke was before he was a Jarl, he was actually a priest/cleric of Hel among other jobs, including being a consultant with his local police force thanks to his girlfriend/wife. I've actually got a few novels of his story, along with Astrid and his wife Maggie, roughly written up. No idea what I'm going to do with them yet, but they're there. They're not as philosophical as this story gets (yet), though they get even darker and potentially more of an emotional roller-coaster than the Steel Leashes stories do. Ironically enough I started most of them after this story, so the Fate Maggie faces here that drives much of Luke's personality and actions is kinda one of those things were, as I've written, I've wanted to avoid her Fate while not being sure how to avoid it. Which creates a very Norse theme to the stories because so much of Norse Mythology is driven by Ragnarok and the attempts to forestall that doom, while knowing said doom is inevitable. Not that any of you guys probably care (given how many people have complained about my OC even existing), lol, but I figured answer the question.
Anyways, to paraphrase Conan, "enough talk." Enjoy.
Chapter 26
"Shego-san," a masked ninja said appearing beside her as she looked out over the mountain. "Master-Sensei has requested your presence."
She nodded, getting up and dusting off her pants. Her clothes were starting to get ragged. She'd only been able to pack a few things the night they ran, and while Astrid and Heather had gotten her a few more things, she'd had to leave stuff behind on their second flight. Yori had tried to teach her how to wear traditional japanese underwear, but Shego would much rather wear normal stuff. Still, she might not have a choice soon.
It had been almost two weeks since she'd given Ron back the collar. Two weeks of agony, loneliness, and crying herself to sleep. He hadn't tried to talk to her since then, either. Maybe Sensei was going to throw her out. She hoped not, but it's not like the ninja's owed her anything. Maybe they'd be nice enough to help her get to Draken, though Sensei had said he'd set up legal protections for her in Japan, so maybe he could just find her some out of the way place.
She trudged slowly to where she'd been directed. Dread, resignation, hollowness, she wasn't sure what she was feeling. Part of her wanted to rip the bandage off. Part of her didn't want to admit it was over. That the love of her life didn't want her anymore, that she was just a stray dog, too mangy and rabid to love.
Ron wasn't just a nice guy, he was a good person. And good people did good things.
Maybe the Jarls would help her. Luke had said he would, if she wanted. Astrid and Heather were her friends too, they'd do what they could. She wasn't a Heathen, and she doubted she ever would be, but they'd had her back and put up with her. They'd said a 'gift for a gift' was fundamental to their religion, and they'd never demanded any gifts back, so maybe something could be worked out if she helped them in turn.
"Ah, Shego-san," Sensei said with a kind smile, "It is good of you to come. Would you like some tea?"
Shego wanted to get it over with, but both from previous experience and the last while here, she knew the Japanese were all about doing things properly and politely. Oh, they'd stab you in the back, same as everyone else, but they'd be polite about it. She bowed. "Thank you, Master-Sensei. Tea would be lovely." She said politely.
She knelt across from him as he poured the tea. It was a great honor, she knew, to have the Master of the school do this for her. She accepted it gratefully.
"Shego-san," Sensei said gently, "Do you hate Stoppable-san?"
She bowed her head, letting her hair hide her face. "No, Sensei," she said softly.
"But you are angry and hurt by his words, are you not?" The old man asked gently.
"Yes, sir," she said, her emotions bleeding into her voice despite her wishes.
"Will you tell me why?" he asked gently. She'd never had a kindly grandfather, but she imagined he was the perfect one every child dreamed of.
"Because..." Shego started, choked, and started again. "Because he's so blind. Because he looked at the people who saved our lives, who did right by us, and he hates them. He hates them for what they are, and what they believe. People like me, who have done the things I've done, but did them to help people rather than just make a buck. Because the people who want me dead, butchered, dissected, and tortured are who he thinks are the good guys!"
"And this hurt you deeply." Sensei said gently, sipping his own tea.
"Yes," She said, raggedly. "I thought he loved me. He said I wasn't a bad person. He said he loved me. But...how can you love someone and then consider the people who would torture and butcher them good?" She looked up at the old man, tears in her eyes. "When...when that happened to the woman he loved, Blackwolf didn't call those that did it good! He went to war with their entire organization. He despised the entire nation that was responsible! But...but Mast-...But Ron! He still considers them good?!"
Tears started down her cheeks and she wiped at them angrily. "I...I love him so much I was willing to die to protect him!" She snarled through her tears. "If GJ killed him, I would have gone to the ends of the earth to make them pay! I would have made deals with whoever I had to, crossed any line I needed to! But he...he'd let them kill me and he would just walk away! 'Oh, well, my dog died, but it was the good guys that did it, so whatever.'" She snarled, plasma flaring up from her clenched fists. "I'm a terrible, selfish person. I've lied, I cheated. Hell, when I first became his pet I manipulated him, trying to win his heart just to save my sorry ass! But he didn't fall for it, and instead I fell in love with him because he was a kind, sweet, wonderful man..."
She sniffed, trying to clear her nose from where her tears were stopping it up. Sensei pulled some tissues from somewhere and handed them to her. She blew her nose, indelicately, but she didn't care. "I know about a lot of the bad shit that goes down in this world. And I do nothing about it. But the Jarls...Blackwolf...they know about it, and they do something about it. They punish the guilty, they try to save the innocent, and he hates them because they look at all that shit and they hate the people that do it." She swiped at more tears. "So how much worse am I, someone who sees and does nothing? They fight evil and he considers them evil. I am complicit in it, I never really fought it. How much more must he actually hate me, who does nothing to stop it?"
"I don't hate you, Shego." Ron said brokenly behind her. Sensei gave a disappointed sigh. She spun around, furious.
"Don' you fucking lie to me, Stoppable!" She roared, rising to her feet, plasma blazing. "You don't get to fucking lie to me!"
"I'm not lying," Ron said weakly.
She stormed over to him jabbing a flaming finger at his chest. "No?" She snarled. "Even after what I told you?" Jab. "Even after I told you I was just like them? Hated people, just like they do?" Jab. He retreated. She pressed forwards. "You hate them, and I'm just like them, Stoppable! So you have to hate me as well!" She drove him against the wall, tears of pain and rage streaming from her eyes. "I'm everything you hate! So don't you fucking lie to me or yourself just because I got your dick wet!"
"Enough," Sensei said. His voice was as calm as ever, but there was iron to it that brooked nothing less than complete obedience. "Both of you."
He let out along sigh as they stilled. "Stoppable-san, I told you to remain hidden and listen no matter what." He said, his tone filled with deep disappointment. Ron started to protest, but fell silent under Sensei's gaze. "Both of you, come here and sit down."
Shego spun angrily and stalked over, sitting on Sensei's right when he motioned her to. Ron followed meekly behind, sitting on the old man's left. Shego glared at her former Master, flames licking at her hands. Ron just slumped in defeat, barely looking at her.
Sensei sighed, and for a moment it reminded her of Astrid when she was tired of Luke and Heather's antics. Like a parent, tired of their children being childish. She wilted slightly.
"Stoppable-san," Sensei asked tiredly. "Why did you not follow my orders?"
"I...I couldn't stand seeing Shego...hurting like that," Ron said brokenly. "I...I had to say something."
She snorted, which got her a stern look from the old man. She wilted again. Plasma stopped flowing around her hands, though they did glow slightly and her pants had holes burned in them now. Great, one more of her few garments ruined. She picked at the burned edges.
"Even though that meant refusing to listen to your peto?" Sensei asked calmly. "Did you say something because she was hurting...or because you were, Stoppable-san?"
They both looked at the old man in surprise.
"After all, what she said was not wrong, Stoppable-san." Sensei said, stroking his beard. "I have met Blackwolf, and I know of many of his deeds. And when the woman he loved was horribly tortured and nearly killed, he did not forgive those who did it. He did not consider them good, or morally justified in their actions. Yet from your words, Shego-san has every reason to expect that you would forgive GJ. They are, as you put it, 'the good guys.'"
Ron crumbled. Sensei took a slow sip of his tea. "I have spoken to you for two weeks about how your hatred of Blackwolf and his companions is a blade opening your wounds constantly. Your refusal to heal. You hate them because they are hateful people in your eyes. You hate that you have relied on them, complicit in their actions. You hate yourself for associating with them." He stroked his beard. "Is it any wonder that your peto feels you hate her, since she admires them, is grateful for their help, and respects them? The people whom you respect want her dead, and the people who treated her with respect when so few others would, you regard only with hatred in your heart."
"You spent years being a hero," Shego found herself saying to Ron. "And who did you help? People like GJ? People like Bortel with his mind control experiments? Stopping Draken and I from taking over the world? Rescuing famous scientists?" She gave him a piercing glare. "But what about girls like Heather, kidnapped to become sex slaves? What about the little people, suffering, having their homes and livelihoods threatened by mobs or gangs?" She ignored Sensei's hard stare. "You know, the people you and Kim ignored, but the Jarls threw their lives on the line to help, or to avenge?"
"Enough, Shego-san," Sensei said firmly, and she relented. Ron just sat there, looking broken. Shego was surprised how much it hurt her to see him like that. How much she wanted to go over, and nuzzle him, and make him feel better. She was, she realized, still madly in love with him. But all her love meant nothing if he hated her.
"Stoppable-san," Sensei said softly, "You have done your best to live a good life and help people. It is what led you to the woman you love deeply. You have a good heart, and the potential to be a very strong man. I regret that your time with us before was so brief, and we were not able to truly train you. If we had, perhaps this situation could have been avoided."
Ron looked brokenly at the old man, confusion in his eyes. "What do you mean, Master-Sensei?" he asked, softly.
"Do you know what we shinobi are, Stoppable-san?" Sensei asked gently.
"Yeah," Ron said, "You're badical heroic super-spies."
Sensei sighed and stroked his beard. "No, Stoppable-san," the old man said, "While we do spy, we are much more than that. We are assassins, and thieves, warriors, killers, liars. We play with people's lives as cats play with mice. Our bodies are our weapons, as much as our minds or blades are." The old man gave Ron a piercing look. "We have more in common with your peto, or the Jarls, than we do with heroes like you or Possible."
Ron's confusion deepened. Before, Shego would have tried to protect her Master's innocence. But he wasn't her Master, and part of her, the old sarcastic, cruel part, wanted to see him taken down several pegs.
"Stoppable-San, do you know why Japan has not had large amounts of immigrants or refugees come into our nation, unlike most other developed countries have?" Sensei asked, gently. Ron shook his head. "It is because we Japanese are a proud people, who believe that our nation is for us and us alone. Many are coming to believe that Japan should cast off the treaties that have kept us from arming ourselves since your country bound us in irons. Many of the problems my nation faces are because we seek domination over others, and when we were denied that with our military, we sought to do it with business. We turned our workers into soldiers, made economics our battlefield. We demand extraordinary hours from our workers, pushing them to the point where they almost cannot have families or children and our population declines because of this. And, when we find someone working against the interests of our nation, my school and others in Japan work to silence those who would weaken us. Sometimes by blackmail, sometimes by more permanent means."
Ron looked at Sensei with something akin to horror. Shego looked at him with interest. She'd never thought about or noticed it, but Sensei was right. Japan had done a remarkable job of resisting such cultural phenomenons.
"Stoppable-san," Sensei said softly, "Are you aware that Yori-san has deep feelings for you?" Ron shook his head in the negative. "Do you know why she has not sought you out out in your time being parted from your peto?" Again, Ron shook his head. "It is because she is a shinobi, Stoppable-san. She would love you, and be with you, and if a mission required it she would give her body to other men or women as required. She knows you Americans would consider this being unfaithful. So she would have to lie to you about what she did, or she would have to tell you the truth and watch as you came to hate her."
Ron looked stunned. "How...how could you even ask that of her?" He asked, shocked and disgusted and horrified.
"How, Stoppable-san?" Sensei asked gently, "Because it must be done. To protect our nation and its people. What is one life in the balance? Is one's pride worth the lives of millions? If your death meant that fifty, a hundred, a thousand others might live, would you not give it? And if you're willing to give your life, what difference is it in giving your body, your pride, or anything else? To sacrifice yourself for the sake of your people is an honorable act, even if no one ever knows your sacrifice, or they would even look down on you for it."
"Dishonored, but never dishonorable," Shego said softly. Sensei gave her a proud look.
"You have great wisdom, Shego-san," He said with subtle pride in his voice. "To bear the burden so others do not have to. To do what must be done, even if you are hated for it. That is what it means to take up duty and bear it, for the sake of others."
Ron looked sick. There were hints of horror and disgust, but he mostly just looked ill. It was one thing to be confronted with these ideas by people he could hate. But Shego knew that Ron loved and respected the old man who was sheltering them. It was much different to find out that someone you loved, believed the same things. There were only two options. You gave into love...or you gave into hate. Shego realized that if Ron gave into the hate, he would never, ever, heal. He would be driven mad by his wounds.
That Shego, Sensei, and Yori who he loved, were little to no different from Astrid, Heather, or Luke who he resented and/or hated, had to be hell on him. To realize that the woman he loved and who he said he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, felt hated by him because of it. That the girl who had a major crush on him, wouldn't go near him because she didn't want his hatred. She watched as he rose, spinning and clutching his hand to his mouth, to run out of the room.
Sensei sighed and sipped his tea. "Shego-san," He said softly, "Do you still love him?"
"Yes," she said sadly. There was no denying it. He had become her world. Losing him ripped that world away from her. "I don't know why, sometimes, but I do."
"If you wish to be with him again, go to him now. He is ready." Sensei said. "But be gentle with him. Show him the love you had for him, not the hurt he has made you feel. Show him there is a chance to redeem himself in your eyes. If we are lucky, he will be ready to heal, and he will need you by his side."
Shego nodded and rose slowly. She trailed after him, much the same way he had trailed after her those weeks ago. She wasn't sure she was ready to forgive him, yet. Still, she saw the wisdom in Sensei's words. Ron, if he was to have a chance, needed her. Truth be told, after the last few weeks...she needed him as well.
She found him by the edge of a cliff, vomiting. Slowly, carefully, she knelt down beside him and put her hand on his back. He didn't seem to notice as he hurled the contents of his stomach over the edge, breathing raggedly, tears and snot streaming down his face.
She rubbed his back, gently. She didn't say anything. She wasn't sure what to say anyways.
Eventually he was empty. Weakly, brokenly, he turned and threw himself into her, hugging her tight and sobbing. She froze for a moment, then went back to rubbing his back.
"I'm sorry," he begged, "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry."
She held him, slowly guiding them away from the edge of the cliff. It would do no good to fall to their deaths. Tears pricked at her eyes. As angry, as hurt as she had been...he was still the man she loved and while part of her was happy to see him feel the same pain he'd made her feel, part of her wanted to do nothing more than take that pain away. To protect the man who had protected her, who had given up his comfy life for her, who had pet her and bathed her and made love to her till she couldn't walk.
Part of her wanted to tell him it was okay, but she crushed that part. It wasn't okay, and lying to him would do nothing but make things worse. She stroked his back while he cried, laying down on the hard ground with him on top of her.
"I'm such an idiot," he said softly in her breasts. "I'm such a fucking idiot." She stroked his hair. He clutched her tighter. Once she'd gotten upset and demanded he never call himself that again. Now she said nothing. Because, well, he was an idiot.
But he was her idiot, her heart whispered.
"An examined life is not a life worth living," She said, remembering something she'd read or heard years ago. "You never stopped to examine your life, did you, Ron?"
"No," he said weakly against her chest.
"You were told what was right, and what was wrong, and you never questioned it." She said softly, stroking his hair. "You were told that those who didn't believe the same way were bad people. You once told me that I wasn't a bad person, because you want to see the good in people. That meant the world to me." She sighed. "But when the time came, and you were confronted with someone else who didn't believe like you did, you fell back on that. You didn't bother to see the good in people, you saw only the bad."
Ron nodded weakly into her soaked breasts. She stroked his hair. "And you hated them not just because they believed something different to you, but because they made all your work into a lie..."
Ron looked up at her, hurt, broken, confused, and full of despair. She stroked his hair gently. "Ron Stoppable, teen hero, who went around saving the world. Confronted with Luke Blackwolf, human monster, who went around saving little girls, punishing criminals, and saving people's lives. While you fought men and women in costumes, he fought rapists and murderers. While you came home to a comfy life and a shitty high school, he either never got to go home, or got to go home to a woman who paid a terrible price for his efforts to help people. While you got to sleep next to a beautiful woman wearing your collar, he was trapped between a lost love, and a young woman he feels he can never have because she too would be hurt because of him." She wiped tears away from his cheek with one hand. "He believes everything you were taught to hate, and yet he does everything you were told you were supposed to do as a man. And you hated him for it, didn't you, Ron?"
"Yes," Ron said raggedly, collapsing against her even more.
"And you hated him even worse because I respected him," She said softly, gently. "Because you loved me, and respected me, and I loved you, and respected you, but for all my loyalty I respected and admired someone you hated." She caressed his back as he nodded into her breasts. "And that hatred spread to Astrid and Heather, because they admired and loved him too. Something they didn't give you, even if they did respect you and love your cooking. They never looked at you like you were the hero, not like they did him."
Again he nodded, a ragged sob shaking his body, and hers in turn.
"And because our lives depended on them, you hid that hatred, buried it deep, let it fester." She said softly, stroking his hair. "Like an open wound, the one he gave you the one time you came close to hurting him. Made worse by the fact that after that you couldn't, didn't, dare hurt him like that again because you were scared what he would do to you." Again he nodded into her breasts, fresh tears soaking the shirt and her skin. He clutched her so tight it hurt.
"I'm an idiot, too," She said softly, "I should have paid more attention. Seen what was happening. But I didn't. I wanted to protect your innocence. I was selfish, I thought my world would grow too dark without your Ronshine in my life." She felt tears prick her eyes, trail down her cheeks. "And my selfishness cost you that very same thing I wanted to protect."
"I-I never wanted to hurt you," Ron said softly, his voice muffled. "And I...I never wanted to hate you. I...I love you. You mean the world to me, and being apart from you..."
She nodded, even if he couldn't see it, and stroked his hair. Being apart from him had been absolute hell. A hell she wanted more than anything to be over.
"You can't keep hating, Ron," she said softly, "You can't keep hating them, and you can't keep hating yourself because of what they made you see about you. I can't be with you if all you have in your heart is hatred for them, for me, for people like us. That's no way to build a life, a relationship, a marriage, or a family..."
Ron looked at her, brokenly. "You mean...you still..." he asked.
"I never stopped wanting a life with you, Ron," She said, blinking her tears so she could try and see his face. "But I won't build a life with a man who hates me. Who thinks I'm evil, or believes that the people who did to me what GJ has done can ever possibly be good. No matter how much I love him, or it kills me to walk away."
"What do you want me to do?" He asked brokenly.
"I want you to be you, Ron," She said softly, gently. She stroked his hair. "I want you to be the man who can see the good in everyone, but knows what he actually believes are right and wrong, not just what people have told him is right or wrong. Who doesn't hate people just because they believe something different, but looks at what those beliefs make that person do. A racist who helps the innocent is a far better person than a person who fights against racism but hurts the innocent. Beliefs aren't the only thing that makes you a moral person, Ron, it's also actions. And maybe I'm not the best person to look to, being a thief and a villain, but compare me and Kim. I may be a thief, and a villain, but I've kept my word and upheld my contracts even if it would have been easier to dump them. Kim is someone everyone admires, who they all consider a hero...and she sold out her best friend for a fucking job with the people who helped make me an animal and have repeatedly tried to kill us."
She caressed his cheek. "I don't care what you end up believing, or deciding. And if it's something that makes me evil, then so be it. I'll leave. But I would rather have to leave because you decided right and wrong, rather than because you believed what someone else told you was right or wrong."
They lay like that until the sun was setting. Ron had cried himself to sleep at some point, but he woke up then. She never stopped petting him. He looked up at her, with bloodshot eyes.
"W-would you come home, with me?" He asked, his voice small, frightened of the answer. "J-just for tonight. I...I don't want to be alone."
She nodded. It was probably a terrible idea, but she was worried about him. It hurt, to see him like this.
He held her hand, weakly, as they went down to the little house Sensei had given them. He cleaned up, and she put together a meal for them. Nothing fancy, but Yori had shown her the basics, and Ron had started rice the rice cooker at some point before she'd gone to meet Sensei. She noticed that her leather collar was set prominently so Ron could see it from anywhere in the room. Her heart melted. He'd never stopped thinking about her.
They ate in silence, Ron deep in thought. She could tell it wasn't a natural state for him him. But, for the first time in months...he didn't have the little signs of fury that had plagued his features even at the best of moments. Now that they were gone, they seemed so obvious she felt terrible she'd never noticed them.
Ron went to draw her a bath, and she laid out the bed. Just one. He came back, looking surprised. She acted as if it was natural and went to clean up. She took her time, and her shirt was going to need a lot of washing. He hadn't been gentle to it. She'd taken all her clothes with her when she moved out.
She tossed her shirt in the water to soak, along with her ruined leggings. Once dried, she slipped back into her black bra and green panties, worn thin from months of use, and stepped out into the living area.
Ron was staring at her collar, she realized, though his gaze shifted to her. His eyes went wide, and he swallowed nervously. She padded lithely across the floor, her bare feet barely making a sound, and slipped into the bed. Ron twisted to follow her every move.
She lay down, facing him, not saying a word. Slowly, she flipped the blanket back in a clear invitation to join her. He moved, fearfully, slowly, stripping off his shirt and leaving himself only in a pair of lose pants. The effect of her was clear on him. He slipped in beside her, facing her.
She could have him. It had been so long. In the trailer they'd go at it two, three times a day except when she was on her cycle, and even then they'd still played some. He'd driven her wild, and made her a needy, thirsty bitch for him. They hadn't really slowed down on the trip over, or moving in. The last two weeks hadn't just been an emotional hell, it had been a hell of unfulfilled need.
But it wouldn't be right, she realized. He was vulnerable. He needed to make some serious choices. Choices that if she gave in, would be influenced by her actions. Maybe she shouldn't have come back, not yet. But she was here, and she wasn't going to back out. And, honestly, she wanted him to choose her. But...but she wanted him to chose her out of love, not just lust.
Slowly, she pressed close to him. She wrapped her arms and legs around him, buried her face in his chest, breathed in his scent. Ron. Master. Breathed in the scent of the man she loved, and the life she wanted to live. She wanted to be his puppy again. To have the certainty of her leash, his collar, her life, back.
Ron wrapped his arms tight around her. She kept breathing in the scent of him, feeling his hardness against her, until she fell asleep. She dreamed of his arms, of a family, and a house.
In the morning, she left before he woke up. She gave one last look at the collar on the shelf. Shego prayed she could wear it again.
She didn't avoid Ron for the next five days, but she didn't go out of her way to speak to him either. They saw each other across the dining room during meals, or across the training ground. She would nod, or wave sometimes. He would nod back, looking slightly hurt, but almost always deep in thought outside of that. He also spent a lot of time talking and training with Sensei.
Shego threw herself into her own training. She still hadn't discounted the possibility of being thrown out, so she needed to be as strong as she possibly could. The equipment and methods were different with the ninjas than she was used to, but in the time since they'd gotten to the school, she'd rapidly improved. She doubted she was in the best shape of her life, but she was very much in in the "super" part of super-human. She left ninja's panting in her dust when she ran. She crack rocks with her punches. Her muscles became more defined, without Ron's cooking and laying around to soften her. She was even picking up fighting tricks from sparing against various ninjas, who saw her as a great way to test themselves. Most of the fights were ones she didn't win, but she held her own well enough no one looked down on her in the slightest.
She had destroyed most of her clothes sparing and training though. Yori found her in their room, looking at the tattered remains of yet another outfit, looking despondent. "Shego-chan," the young ninja said softly, "What is wrong?"
"I've destroyed everything I own," Shego replied, "At this point, I might as well start walking around naked."
Yori giggled behind her hand, "Please, Shego-chan, I know you are Inu, but that would be a terrible distraction to the other students." The young woman said.
You keep calling me that," Shego said, sticking her tongue out at the other woman. "Inu, what does it mean."
"It is...what is the word...Dog?" Yori said, tapping her chin in though. "Yes, dog. You are Stoppable-san peto dogo."
Shego huffed out a sigh. "Well, I was..." she said sadly.
"Do not give up hope, Shego-chan," Yori said. "Stoppable-san loves you very much. He is trying to become a man worthy of you again. He has been asking Master-Sensei many questions."
"Well, that's good, I guess," Shego said, folding up the tattered clothes and setting them aside. "Doesn't exactly help me in my current situation of having nothing to wear."
"Shego-chan, you with your American-style humor," Yori giggled. "If you need clothes you have but to ask. The school has many extra uniforms and I would be happy to find some for you. Though it may be difficult to fit your. You are so...large."
Shego growled at the young woman. "You calling me fat, Yori?" she said.
The ninja grinned behind her hand. "Yes, Shego-chan. Very fato. Fato oppai, fato assu." She said, an impish light to her eyes. "It is such a shame. Stoppable-san spending all his time lusting after a fat woman when perfection is so close."
"Why you!" Shego yelled, jumping at her friend. Yori giggled and dodged, ducking out of the room. Shego gave chase, halfheartedly. She could catch the girl easily, but that wasn't the point. The point was to make her stop feeling so bummed out, and Yori knew her well enough to know this was better than mopping about and eating whatever weird ice cream flavors they had here.
She chased the girl around the school for twenty minutes, before they ended up in a storage building. Shego nearly tackled Yori, but the young ninja twisted and somehow ended up grinning down at her from the rafters. Both of them were breathing slightly faster, but it hadn't been a struggle for either of them.
"Uniforms are on the shelves over there, Shego-chan," Yori said, smiling. "I think the top shelf have those closest to your sizes. And I have something else for you." The young ninja chucked a bundle at Shego's head.
Shego caught it, unwrapping it slowly. Yori wasn't above playing the occasional prank when she felt Shego was being too upset. Nothing exploded, and she caught a glimpse of green lace. She unwrapped it the rest of the way. Inside were two bags, one holding green and black panties, the other green and black bras, that were in between sexy and functional.
"Watching you try to work out without a bra was just painful," Yori said, flushing. Shego grinned. Yori had been hit by a stray shuriken the last time she'd gone running without a bra in a desperate attempt to preserve her dwindling wardrobe.
"Thank you, Yori," Shego said, giving the other woman a bow. "You honor me with your kindness." She turned to the shelves, pulling out a couple uniforms.
On the bright side, the garments of the ninja were loose fitting, and they could be tightened with strings around the hips. Still, outside of young Inoue, she probably had the largest bust line at the school and they'd mostly prepared their wardrobes for the more modest size of the average Japanese woman in both hips and breasts. Still, she managed to find five outfits that fit her well enough, and the material was thicker and far more durable than the cotton and spandex she'd brought with her.
She dressed in her new clothes, reveling in the feeling. Her breasts were on display, but that was something she could live with. Spending months practically naked had done wonders for her confidence, especially with Ron's amorous gaze constantly on her.
It was a week after Ron's interrupting her talk to Sensei that she got a note from him, asking if she would join him for dinner. Part of her wanted to rush right over. Part of her was terrified about what he would say.
Still, she went over as the sun was setting, dressed in ninja garb and freshly washed. She rapped on the door gently, and hear him tell her to come in. She slid the door open.
He was kneeling on the floor, putting the last touches on dinner, which was spread out on a table in the middle of the room. The black ninja garb he was wearing looked new. Maybe he'd had to replace his clothes as well. Maybe he was committing to the ninja life. She wasn't sure how she felt about it.
"H-hey," He said, nervously, and the months melted away. He was that nervous, barely eighteen year old boy who had just found out he was going to own another human being as a pet. "I...I wasn't sure you would come."
"I...wasn't sure, either," she admitted softly, stepping inside and shutting the door. She padded softly over to the table and sat down. She swallowed the lump in her throat, hating herself for how nervous she was. She was Shego...whatever that meant now. She wasn't sure, to be honest.
"I'm glad you did," Ron said softly, dishing up rise and setting it before her, along with some tempura. He paused for a while. "I...I've missed you."
She nodded, nibbling at her food, not trusting herself to answer. She'd missed him too, terribly. After the first few bites, if she closed her eyes, they were back in Middleton, before all this started. Her, nervous, scared, wanting to seduce him to make her life feel a bit safer. Him, kissing her as if to burn her soul from her body. Her, teasing him till he ached and begged for release. Him, pinning her down and taking her with all the love and passion in his heart.
Tears trickled down her cheeks. "I...I've missed you too..." she said, brokenly. She wanted to curse herself. He'd clung to her and she hadn't broken, but his damn cooking...it brought back everything.
"Sheila..." Ron said softly. She swiped at her eyes, trying to drive the tears away. Was it a mistake, coming here?
"I've missed you so much..." she sobbed, barely managing to set her food down without spilling it. "Living...without you..."
"Yeah," Ron said, brokenly. "I...I can't sleep without you. Food tastes like ash. I hurt you...I never wanted to do that, Sheila."
She drew her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. She didn't want to look at him. Looking would hurt too much. Remind her of what they'd had. What was probably lost.
"I've...been talking a lot with Sensei," he said softly. "I...don't know what I believe. There's so much I didn't know, that no one taught me, about history and everyone involved. Did you know he was at Nanking during the siege? No one ever told me about that."
She looked, finally. His face was tired, his eyes broken, his voice hollow. Her poor, innocent master, was learning the horrors of the world. She wondered if Sensei, in his youth, had joined in the raping, or just the murder, or if he'd held back from it completely. He was a ninja, he would do his duty, she knew. Perhaps the ninja were what they were today because he had been a part of those horrors, and never wanted to see them done again.
"It's...too much," Ron said, "I...I can't face it alone...I'll go mad."
She looked at him. Really looked. It was true. He couldn't handle it, alone. He also...didn't have that hatred anymore. If she left him, alone, now, not only would they never get back together...he would probably throw himself off the cliffs that made up their home. He needed an anchor. Something to hold on to. He needed what he had given her for so many months.
She glanced at the collar. He was so broken, she could get him to wear it. Have her be the Master, and him the pet. But...that wouldn't help him. That would be him giving up control all over again, surrendering his will to whoever was in charge. No, he needed to be the one in charge. The one who had to make the choices, the decisions. That was the only way for him to grow. Grow as the man she loved. And besides...it was Her Collar. She was the pet. The loyal hound who protected her Master. She didn't want to take charge, she wanted pets and cuddles and unconditional love. She'd never had that in her life until him.
She got up slowly, and his eyes tracked her with listless fear as she walked around the table to kneel beside him. This could ruin everything. This could fix everything. Either way, it had to be done.
Shego put her hands in front of her knees, and lowered her head so it was below Ron's. She looked up at him, with eyes she knew were deep green pools he could lose himself in. "Master," She said softly, "This poor stray needs a home. She is so tired of being lost." She paused, swallowing the lump in her throat. "I...can't be your lover...or your wife...yet, but...I can be your pup again, Ron. I don't want to be alone anymore, and you don't need to be alone. I can be by your side again, if you will have me."
Ron looked at her, tears glinting in his eyes. "I...I..." he stammered, wiping at his eyes. "I...okay. I...want you back...completely...but that's fair. I don't deserve you at all. So...I'll take...what you'll give me, Shego."
She watched as he got up and walked over to the collar. His hands rested on it a long moment, and she could tell he was fighting back the tears. She was too. She wanted nothing more than to give herself completely too him. But...it was too soon. For both of them. Hopefully, it wouldn't be too long. But for now...now she wasn't a stray.
He knelt down in front of her, slipping the leather around her neck. It had felt so bare, so empty. He tightened it slowly, so that if fit properly. She breathed in his scent. Ron. Her Master. Hers once again. The rest would come. Or it wouldn't . For the moment, this was okay.
Ron drew his hands away from her neck, and she followed the motion. He had started crying, silently. She pressed close and slowly licked the tears away. His hand came up to her hair and pet her. Soft, slow strokes. She wilted, collapsing in his lap as he kept petting her.
Eventually, they finished eating. They didn't talk much. That would come later. Then, after cleaning up, she slept at the foot of his bed, like she had, all those months ago. It wasn't where she wanted to be, but it was where she needed to be.
She was home.