It had turned out she hadn't forgotten about last night – at least not everything. Ichigo stopped abruptly: "The coffee is starting to wear off." He remarked sober, his eyes travelling to the konbini to his right. Last night he hadn't really been able to get a good sleep – for obvious reasons. So he had spent his time in the morning fueling his body up with coffee to make up for the lack of said sleep. He pointed with his head to the store: "I'll just go over and buy one. You want anything?"

Rukia pondered a moment before answering in an unusual shy voice: "Do they have this juice you are always drinking at school?"

Ichigo had already taken a few steps forward when he turned on his heel with a raised eyebrow: "You serious?"

She looked slightly offended: "Well, you don't have to buy one if you don't want to."

"No. No, a juice got it." He waved his hand apologetically disappearing into the store.

"Here."

A familiar juice box appeared in front of her. She took it from his hand an ashamed "Thanks." escaping her nearly closed mouth.

Ichigo plopped down next to her on the bench where she had been waiting for him. He had barely sat down when the juice box was being held in front of him without a word. Ichigo peeked over to her. She just looked straight into the distance not batting an eye. He stared at her hand in front of him: "Are you serious?" Not that he didn't get her broad hint but… "How long have we known each other?" He bent his head a little trying to get her attention. "And you still don't know how to open those?" His voice sounded disbelieving but with Rukia you could never be sure…

Her eyes travelled to the ground trying to avoid him even more, her hand hadn't moved an inch.

Ichigo sighed, took the juice to put the straw inside and handed it back to her.

She took it silently still not looking at him.

Ichigo sighed again with a lot more emphasize while leaning back: "Ok, what's wrong?"

No reaction.

"Listen… I…" He began, sitting up straight again. "I know a… lot has happened and I know it's… it's been getting out of hand somehow but… that doesn't mean…" He was desperately searching for the right words: "…for me… nothing has changed between us. You can tell me anything, ok? If you want to, of course."

She flipped around suddenly with so much force she was now sitting sideways on the bench, one hand on the backrest dangerously squeezing the juice box the other hand placed in front of her to keep her balance while leaning over to him. Her facial expression was somewhere between disbelieving and being sour: "Oh, I can't believe it!"

"Wha…?" There was no time for Ichigo to take in what had just happened as she continued protesting.

"I can't believe you've just stolen my phrase!" Rukia paused, realizing how close they were.

"Uhm… excuse me… what?"

She distanced herself a little looking at her hand in front of her, sighing.

A gasp of relief left Ichigo.

"That's what I wanted to tell you."

"Huh?" He still didn't quite understand what she was talking about.

"You can tell me anything, ok? … That's… what I wanted to tell you." She faced him again: "Because it's so annoying and exhausting and I didn't feel like bearing this any longer… that we're not able to simply talk anymore."

"So that's the reason you've ignored me before? Because you were thinking about how you'd tell me that?" Ichigo was a little amused and it reminded him a little bit of himself. Sometimes they were so alike.

Rukia looked away slightly blushing: "I've wanted to wait for the right moment."

"I thought I was the one to decide when the right moment was." He retorted while wearing a challenging smile.

She glared back pointing the juice box at him: "You are…"

"…an idiot. I know." He finished her sentence well aware she would be annoyed because he did.

Her eyes darkened as he'd predicted: "Are you planning to steal all my phrases now?"

He knew it probably wasn't a clever thing to do but he couldn't contain his grin.

Rukia raised an eyebrow: "Oh, you think this is funny?"

Ichigo tried to regain control over his facial muscles but it worked only half-heartedly: "No, it's… I just constantly catch myself believing everything is back to normal between us. But…" His face turned serious: "…it's not. And these past days I've been wondering… if it will ever be again."

Her expression mirrored his as she turned to sit properly on the bench again sadly staring into the distance: "Well, you know… nothing lasts forever. Everything is bound to change someday…"

Her voice seemed so far away suddenly. Just how had the atmosphere changed so drastically? He wished he just didn't say it. He would have been able to pretend, to convince himself that everything was 'ok' for only a little longer… But nothing was 'ok', it was quite the opposite actually.

"You know…" Rukia began her voice still apathetic. "I would have liked things to stay the way they were… with us. That nothing ever changed. But… something like that doesn't exist. Everything is ending, sooner or later. I can't stay in your world forever. I am a shinigami, I don't belong here. And you? You will graduate high school this summer, probably go to university, study a lot, start a family and someday you will realize there is no longer a place for me in your life. You will realize you don't need me anymore." Her voice nearly broke. "And when that time comes I will wonder why I've stayed her for so long."

He couldn't breathe. It felt as if someone was crushing his heart until the last bit of oxygen in his body was gone. He became dizzy for a moment, a buzzing in his ears, a sharp pain in his chest, he was shivering internally. It was similar to the feeling he had the day they met, the moment her sword had pierced his heart and his soul had left his body for the first time. Ichigo had never felt like this again, until now. Finally able to catch his breath he grabbed her shoulder, turning her around.

She didn't look at him though, completely absent-mindedly.

"You cannot be serious, are you?" His voice was so full of anger, not because he was angry, he was… shocked, disappointed that she… "Is this really what you think? … About me?"

There was no reaction coming from her.

"You think I won't need you anymore and then just…" Ichigo couldn't believe he had to actually voice these words. "…throw you away?" The question was hanging in the air as if he had pressed a charge.

He could feel her shiver. "It… is inevitable, Ichigo… that we will drift apart."

It sounded like the concluding chapter, the end to a story – the way she had said it. But at the same time her voice was so weak as if she was still in denial herself, as if she wished she was wrong, that there was another way, another end to their story.

The grip on her shoulders tightened as Ichigo tried to drag her back to reality. She seemed so far away suddenly as if she might just disappear every second and that was… Something dripped onto his arm.

Her voice clearly gave away what it was: "You… probably don't understand it now, Ichigo…" Another tear ran down his arm. "But in ten years you will. Maybe it will take twenty, but one day you will understand."

"I refuse to understand that." Ichigo sounded determined – he always did when something didn't fit in his way of thinking.

Rukia tried to swallow her tears shaking her head: "Please don't say that."

"Rukia." His tone became insisting. "Look at me."

She shook her head again, vehemently.

"Please, look at me!" He begged, but it had no effect. "Rukia, seriously I…"

"No! That's only making it worse!" She cut him off nearly screaming.

A moment of silence followed before Ichigo tried again in his usual annoyed 'ready to pick a fight' tone: "Oi, chibi!"

Her head shot up in a second: "Did you just call me chibi?"

"I just wanted you to look at me." He answered completely calm all of a sudden. "And now you will listen to me for once."

Rukia looked to the side with embarrassment but then back to him.

"I thought we had a deal. You said you wouldn't protect me anymore so I could make my own decisions… then let me do that." It didn't sound reproachful he was just worried about her. "I don't know why you think that way, but… whatever happens there will always be a place for you in my life… ok?" He felt as if it was the most serious thing he had ever said in his life even beating all those times he'd said to everyone again and again that he would save her. After all that had happened, after all they had been through together how could she ever think he would just forget her?

How was she supposed to respond to that? Telling him he was wrong. Everything and everyone disappeared someday. The question wasn't if you believed that or not the question was whether you were willing to accept that risk. Being left alone was the thing she was afraid of the most. She'd been left alone by a lot of people, people that had meant everything to her. She didn't know how her heart would ever be able to bear the pain if Ichigo did the same. If she was willing to take that risk was difficult to answer. But she knew if she stayed here just a moment longer it would forever be too late.

"I should go."

Rukia stood up, had turned away from him, didn't even look at him one last time. And then…

He grabbed her wrist.

"Don't do that."

His grip was loose actually, too loose to hold her back. She would have been able to just break away from him if she had really wanted to. But the fact he was holding her back was enough. And with that it was too late. Rukia looked down at his hand.

"What? You told me to stop you from running away, you remember?"

Why did he sound so cool and unwavering?

"You should just let me go." Her voice was so small even she couldn't believe her own words.

"I've let you go three times. This time I won't."

"Huh?"

She finally faced him, searching his eyes that were so full of determination, eyes that said nothing and no one could stop him. It was something she had always liked about him from the very start.

Searching for an answer in his eyes wasn't necessary however. He didn't intend to keep it a secret anymore: "I've let you go when Renji and Byakuya took you back to Soul Society. I've let you go when you told me you wanted to stay there after I had saved you. I've let you go when I had lost my powers. I wasn't strong enough, not selfish enough or just didn't tell you I wanted you to stay."

"Ichigo, I…"

"I want you to stay."

His eyes spoke volumes again: How serious he was. How he was regretting not having told her earlier. That he honestly hoped she wouldn't turn around and just disappear again. And that he was resolved to prove her wrong – that he would never ever forget her.

Rukia smiled, a few tears still in her eyes. She wasn't familiar with this feeling at all: Being so important to someone else, meaning so much to someone else.

"Sit down, ok?" He guided her back to the bench not letting go of her wrist.

Her eyes travelled around a little insecure before she managed to directly look at him: "Why?"

Ichigo looked to the side, sheepishly, scratching the back of his head more or less aware: "You know why."

The sudden change in his demeanor made her chuckle: "That's not what I meant." Her expression became serious again: "I mean… look at you. You… could basically have any girl that…"

He cut her off, back to his annoyed self. It was the way one of their disputes usually started: "Uhm, no! I couldn't! Cause the girl I want quite obviously doesn't want me!"

Rukia stared at him silently not sure what to say – if she should say it?

Ichigo really didn't want to be right about this. Letting go of her hand he looked away to the side, discouraged. She was still here. Why didn't she say anything? Was it too much? Too soon? Too rushed? He didn't even actually say it and still…

"That's not true."

His eyes immediately went back to her.

A nervous sigh left her: "You mean more to me than is good for me. It's always been like that, from the very beginning, since the day we've met and… I am a little afraid of that."

Their eyes met and suddenly the feeling was back. The feeling of being able to look deep down into each other's soul, being able to read the other just by watching them and being able to understand them without a single word.

"Oh, no." Ichigo sighed when he realized what this was really about. He was annoyed at himself for not noticing it earlier, for completely loosing track of her feelings until now. A few days ago he would've noticed right away.

He pulled her into his arms, pressing her against his chest, his face right beside hers: "I am sorry. I am an idiot." It sounded as if he was raising a white flag. "I thought you wanted to protect me and that this is the reason you tried to disappear from my life. But it's not me you didn't want to be hurt… it's you. You're the one who's afraid of being hurt."

She was slightly amused, a small laugh escaping her: "What? I've… just told you about my feelings for you and you are saying you're an idiot?"

He reached for her hand: "Listen. Maybe I cannot promise you that everything will stay the same between us forever – although I don't see why not – but I will definitely never leave you alone." Ichigo declared with a playful grin on his face. "You'll have to deal with me for the rest of your life."

"Is that a threat?" She smiled genuinely.

Ichigo rested his forehead against hers: "No, that's a promise. And you know I am serious about my promises." He could feel her laugh again.

"Won't you stop me?" She asked a little helpless.

"You still want to run away?" He instinctively tightened the grip on her hand, skeptical.

Rukia's uneven breath was travelling over his cheek. "That's not what I meant." Her voice was just a whisper, her lips only millimeters away from his: "Stop me."

"Forget it."

Rukia had once told Ichigo that a kiss was nothing special. That assumption however had been based on her having zero experience – it was the exact opposite to be honest.

Although it was anything but 'nothing special' when she kissed him it felt as if it was the most natural thing on earth. It felt like home, in a way. It felt as if she had finally found the place she had always longed for, the place she belonged to, the place her heart belonged.

For a second he was wondering if it was another dream – like last time. But… this time it was different, so much more freeing, so much better, better in a way he had never been able to imagine.

"Ichigo?" She managed to word in between a breath. "How are we supposed to explain to anyone?"

She felt a smile form on his lips: "Simple. We won't."

Rukia had no time to continue on her thoughts.

Yeah, maybe Ichigo didn't make the first move kissing her, but he definitely wouldn't leave the second move to her as well.

His lips gently brushed hers a last time before he was sitting up again to look into her eyes. For a while that was all they did, looking at each other with the feeling of knowing exactly what 'this' was.

"And you're sure this is what you want?" Rukia broke their silence. Her voice was calm and although she was absolutely sure she already knew his answer after all that had just happened she had to ask: "You're sure you don't want a normal life? Because with me you can't have that, you know that right?" Actually she had wanted to give him some space to answer but all the thoughts she had locked up inside her were suddenly escaping her: "I mean we're living in two completely different worlds. I am… so much older than you, you will probably die long before me and I don't want you to give up anything just for…"

Ichigo didn't let her finish and placed his hands on her shoulders: "Rukia, I don't want a normal life. … Ok, I did… but only until I've met you. Apart from that your world is at least halfway mine as well and let's be honest I am human and shinigami, we have no idea how I will age, so all your arguments are invalid." He made a pause to breathe: "If I wanted a normal life I wouldn't have fallen in love with you."

His confession was lingering in the air until he decided to pose the most important question in this particular moment: "I am going to ask again: Do you still want to run away?"

"No."

She smiled and he swore it was the most beautiful he had ever seen her.

He grinned stupidly: "Well in the end that was quite the perfect first date, wasn't it?"

"You mean apart from the fact that it wasn't our first date?" Rukia had to object. "I mean imagine you had kissed me during our 'fake-relationship'. Then the kiss just now technically wouldn't have been our first kiss, would it?" She sounded a little scolding.

It reminded Ichigo how bossy she could sometimes be but it was also one of the things he liked about her – hitting back at him. "Yeah, yeah, you're right." He mumbled pretending to be annoyed. Ichigo couldn't keep himself from scratching the back of his head, suddenly a little shy: "So uhm…" His voice gave away he was embarrassed for having to ask, but he felt he had to: "So… do you want to be with me… this time for real?"

For Rukia it was more than obvious how stupid he felt but that didn't stop her from teasing him a little more: "Do you know how weird that just sounded?" She laughed causing Ichigo's frown to deepen even more:

"Could you please just say yes?"

"Yes."

Still visibly amused she pulled him down to silence them both before they could start one of their bickering contests.

...

"So, what about Asano's party? Are we going?" She asked after they had managed to break away from each other for a moment. "He asked us to come a little earlier to help him, you remember?"

"Or…" A suggestive smile appeared on his face as he bent down, his breath caressing her cheek: "We go over to my place and take advantage of the rare opportunity that we have the whole house to ourselves." He had actually thought he could make her feel even a little insecure with that – just the way she usually did that to him.

Instead she smiled back at him challengingly before whispering into his ear: "Careful, Kurosaki Ichigo. I might like that."

So people we've finally made it, I guess. I was really struggling a lot with the end. There were endless words, pages and scenes that didn't make it into the final story. I was honestly searching for the past few years I have been writing this for the perfect ending to this story, for an ending that would do those two I love so much justice. There are so many different opinions out there and if this isn't the way you feel this should have ended... well I'd like to say I am sorry but actually that's what I finally came up with, so for me it is perfect - as perfect as it can be for a perfectionist ^^' If it isn't for you that is absolutely ok however!

There were lots of ideas I got from all of your comments and there were even things I reconsidered after reading them so I should thank everyone for following this and for reviewing altough it's been so long: You were all part of this story and shaped it the way it is now!

I would love to hear your thoughts on this and I also have to admit that this isn't the last chapter! Although the next and last one will be more of an epilogue kind of thing. Hope to see you around for it and I would be more than happy to see any of you back for whatever I will write next!

Thanks!