Do not own Orange Is The New Black or any of the characters.

This chapter is trigger warning for anyone who has had a miscarriage.

The couple was the last to leave the theater. They made sure that their clothes were back in the appropriate places before they left.

A small smile was exchanged between them as they left the dark theater and fell into the brightly lit hallway. Their hands touched briefly, but they both pulled away quickly as if lightning had suddenly struck down.

They looked shyly at each other through the corner of their eye. Both had felt something in that brief moment their hands had touched. Even though they'd touched multiple times before it always seemed to be the smallest of touches like the one they'd just shared that brought out the biggest feelings.

However, before they could address anything. Someone called out from behind them.

"VAUSE! CHAPMAN!"

"Shit," swore Alex as she nervously adjusted her glasses on her nose. She frowned at Piper, before turning around and looking over at Nicky.

Nicky walked towards the couple with a shit-eating grin plastered on her face. She knew that something had been going on with the pair. She'd seen it the other night at the bar and now here in the broad daylight of the cinema. They were fucking having an affair.

"What do we have here?" she asked, looking amused. The shorter woman cradled a bag of popcorn in one arm and a drink in the other. She looked between the pair, waiting for an answer.

"Nothing," replied Alex breezily. "Just seeing a movie. You?" She ran a hand through her dark hair.

"Oh you know...the same. Just seeing a movie," spoke Nicky slowly. Her dark eyes continued to bore into the couple. There was a look of pride on her face. She was clearly proud of herself for catching them together. However, in Nicky's case, she was actually seeing a movie. She'd invited Lorna to join her, however she was still avoiding her.

"By yourself?" asked Piper, out of curiosity.

"Well I asked Morello, but she turned me down." There was a note of bitterness to her voice. She'd invited Lorna to join her, but the small Italian had turned her down. They'd used to go to the movie all the time back when they were seeing one another.

"Oh, that's too bad," said Piper, sympathizing with Nicky. She didn't quite know what was going on with Nicky and Lorna. She assumed that they had some sort of past with each other. Nicky always seemed to get in a mood when Lorna's name came up.

Nicky just shook her head slightly before her face broke out into a grin again. She was done talking about Lorna. She wanted to talk more about what was going on between Alex and Piper.

"So what movie were you two watching?"

Alex and Piper looked briefly at each other. They both had no fucking clue what movie they'd just gone to see. They hadn't been paying attention.

"Um…"

"You know the one…"

"Is that the one where the tall brunette sleeps with the married lady across the street…" cut in Nicky. Her lips were parted open as amusement and pleasure filled her face. She was clearly enjoying calling out their bullshit. "Uh? Am I right?"

"What?" cried Piper, her voice coming out high-pitched and squeaky. "We aren't sleeping together. We're just friends." She fumbled nervously with her words.

Nicky's eyes widen slightly at Piper's confession. Her eyes were dancing with amusement at what was unfolding before her.

Alex glared at Piper and her big mouth. Was she trying to get caught? She thought. She knew that Nicky would never go running to Piper's husband and tell him. However, she knew that Nicky would keep quiet either. It only took one person to slip up. This wasn't a big city. Word easily spread here.

"Enjoy your movie, Nicky!" Alex then turned on her heel and began to walk away. She didn't want to draw anymore attention to themselves than what already was best just to leave.

Piper quickly said goodbye to Nicky before running after Alex. She was her ride back to the grocery store.

"What the fuck was that?" asked Alex as they got into the car.

"What the fuck was what?" asked back Piper. She didn't understand why Alex was suddenly jumping down her throat.

"You fucking told Nicky!" spat Alex bitterly.

"I didn't tell fucking anything to her! I said we're just friends!" argued back Piper, defensively. She'd given anything away, she thought.

"You should've just said nothing," spoke Alex as she started the car and began to pull out of the parking lot.

"What? Like you did!" Piper didn't understand where Alex's sudden mood had come from. They were having a good time, she thought.

"Look...I've known Nicky for a long time. She likes to tease and make fun…" sighed Alex as she turned the turn signal on and began to turn the wheel.

"Do you think she will tell someone?" cut in Piper, suddenly feeling panicked.

"No. She won't blab." Alex knew Nicky wouldn't tell anyone and plus who would she tell who would care? she thought. Nicky wouldn't go running to Piper's husband. She wasn't that kind of person.

"Are you sure?" pressed Piper, her eyes wide.

"Yes. I'll make sure," said Alex firmly.

"Ok. Good." Piper could finally relax at hearing this. She leaned back against the seat and looked out the window.

The two women didn't exchange another word on the short car journey back. They were both too lost in their own thoughts. Piper thought about Larry and what she was going to make for dinner. Alex's thoughts were a little more deep.

Alex didn't bother going home right away after she said goodbye to Piper. She thought maybe she should do some grocery shopping herself, knowing that she didn't have anything at home.

But she didn't.

Instead, she drove around the town for a bit, music blaring and windows down. Just like she had when she was sixteen.

She was trying to make sense of her feelings. Her thoughts kept on going back to that moment in the cinema. Not just went they'd been fooling around, but to when their hands had touch. She knew it was stupid to be thinking about such a simple gesture. But it had sent something through her.

Maybe something she'd been trying not to think about. She wasn't one to mesh over feelings. To get caught up in silly things like a touch or a look. She wasn't a teenager anymore trying to figure out if a girl liked her or not.

Alex always made sure to make her feeling known. She was always the first one to make a move. To buy the first drink. To reach for a hand. Caresses a cheek. To be the first one to say that she liked you.

But here she was now, driving around trying to figure out her feelings and crap. When she'd first started to see Piper, it had been out of pure boredom of being in this town again. She'd needed a distraction from her life and Piper had been a beautiful, wonderful, sexy distraction.

This thing had been going on for a month now and her intoxication was getting worse. The sex was liberating and so good. She didn't want that to end. However, she could start feeling herself wanting more. She only knew bits and pieces of Piper. She didn't know everything about her, but she wanted to.

After they had sex, there was no lingering and talking like in normal relationships. Piper usually had to go before her husband came home or something. Alex wasn't one for small talk, however she was infatuated with the wanted the lingering and talking. She wanted the dates and the long phone conversations at night. She wanted all the small and in between moments she usually took for granted when she had them.

If this was any sensible person, they would realize that they had all that already.

However, Alex's current relationship with Wren was not what she wanted. It had long ago run it course, but Alex still hadn't ended it. As much as her younger girlfriend annoyed her, she wouldn't let her go. She didn't want to be alone. She liked the thought of having someone to come home to when she needed it. That's why people stayed in loveless marriages, because even though it was worn out, it was still better than being alone.

Right?

After driving around for an hour or so, Alex found herself in the last place she wanted to be. However, her mind was a jumble of feelings and emotions. And when she felt so confused about life she used to call her mom.

She knew her mom wouldn't say anything back to her as she took a seat beside her bed. However, maybe that's what she needed. She needed to tell someone about Piper and this whole affair thing she was in. She needed to tell someone who wouldn't judge and talk her out of it. She just needed someone to listen. Alex liked to think that her mom could still hear her deep down inside of the shell she was in. That somewhere, her mother was still there. The strong, independent, bad ass woman she had grown up admiring was still there, somewhere listening.

"Hi mom." She felt stupid at first. For talking to her mom like this. On her weekly visits, she didn't usually talk, she found it too weird.

Alex tilted her head back against the chair and sighed. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea, coming here, she thought. She felt the tears in her eyes but she didn't let them fall. She looked away from her mom and onto a poster on the wall.

She could do this, she thought. She'd come here for a reason. She needed to get it off her chest or she would explode. She needed to tell someone about Piper and her feelings. She for hell couldn't tell Nicky or Piper herself.

"I think I'm in love. Her name is Piper."

Alex couldn't help but feel like she was sixteen again telling her mom about her first crush on a girl, Janey Swift.

"Tea or coffee?" asked Polly. "Or Wine? I know I can't have any, but if you want a glass...I don't mind."

Piper looked over at the other women and smiled. It was the next day and Piper had come over to visit Polly and to discuss the business. "Tea is good."

"Ok, good! Because I was fucking lying about the wine. I do mind!" Polly laughed harshly at her own joke, before turning her back towards Piper and began to fumble around the kitchen.

"Why don't you sit? I can do it..." offered Piper, noticing how big Polly actually was. She began to rise from her seat, but Polly shot her down.

"I might be a fucking whale at the moment, but I'm perfectly capable of making a cup of tea, Pipes. I so tired of everyone fucking tell me to sit!"

Piper just laughed nervously at this. "Okay. I'll just sit here then."

"Good!"

A blanket of silence fell over the kitchen as Piper sat at the table looking around the vast, white clean room. It was a beautiful kitchen, just like the rest of Polly's house was. The blonde couldn't help but feel a little envious. She always felt envious around her oldest friend now. How could she not?

Polly had everything.

Polly always had everything. Yes, they were both married and had a house. However, Polly had gotten married first, and bought the big fancy house first. Piper always seemed to come up a little short and dim and comparison, especially in her mother's eyes. Pete, Polly's husband was no movie star or anything in the looks department. He wasn't Piper's type, but he always seemed to charm her with his humor and Australian accent. Accent's were always a trump.

But it wasn't just the house and the charming Australian husband that made her envious. It was the beach-ball of a stomach stretched tight across her dress. Polly was close to popping and she looked like it too. However, Piper was jealous. She wanted that to be her round with a child.

A baby.

Piper knew she could happily go and make that happen. She was fertile, that she knew of. Since the miscarriage, she hadn't been paying attention to all that. It all still hurt too much to think about.

She knew she wasn't ready for another baby, no matter how much she wanted to be pregnant again. She guessed she wasn't envious of Polly's pregnancy, just more jealous that her friend's baby was still living ,where Piper's hadn't. She knew that made her seem petty and small, but it was the truth.

Piper had what they call a late miscarriage. Most miscarriage took place in the first trimester, but Piper had happened during the second, at eighteen weeks. She remembered the day clearly, her and Larry had gone in for a routine prenatal visit with her doctor. Everything had seemed normal at first and then suddenly it wasn't.

Suddenly the ultrasound tech, who had been joking with Larry minutes earlier, was turning the screen away from them and looking at them with a sorrowful look, saying their baby was dead.

There had been no heartbeat.

They'd left the doctor's office numb and confused. No one could explain to them what had happened or what had caused it. These things just sort of happened. Hearing that didn't help Piper. It made it so much worse and painful, to think that her baby had just stopped living, just with a snap of the fingers. That nothing could've been done to prevent it. That someone had pulled the plug suddenly deciding she wasn't worthy of being a mom, that her baby wasn't worthy of living.

After going home, Piper had stood in front of the bedroom mirror for ages looking at her body. She still looked pregnant. She still had this little blimp of a bump announcing to the world she was with child. She couldn't wrap her head around the idea that her baby was in there, but not alive. After having a breakdown, Larry had finally managed for her to come to bed.

She would need her energy. The next morning they were going to induce her to deliver her dead baby.

15 hours later, her baby had come into the world. It was a girl. Piper hadn't wanted to see the infant, but Larry had convinced her too. They needed to say goodbye.

Somewhere underneath their bed is a memory box of their daughter the nurse had put together. Piper has never had the heart to look inside of it. She didn't need to be reminded of the little being, her image was already burned inside her head. She didn't need pictures for that.

"Here."

Piper quickly blinked the tears away from her eyes, straightening her back and smiled stiffly at Polly who sat across from her. She immediately wrapped her hands around the warm mug and took a sip.

"So, we finally have a name."

"A name?"

"For the baby," said Polly cheerfully. She ran her hands over her stomach as if Piper didn't know what the baby was or where it was.

"Oh. right." murmured Piper. She dropped her gaze away from Polly's stomach and down into her cup. "What's the little guy going to be called?" She forced herself to smile broadly at Polly. She didn't want Polly to see that she was upset. She was trying to move past her own pain and be happy for her friend.

"Finn."

Piper immediately thought back to that day when she had delivered her baby. After the nurse had handed over this little purple bundle first to Piper, but she found it too hard and handed it over to Larry, they'd to come up with a name. That had been the hardest for Piper. Up until that point it felt like a dream, but then to give a name to this baby, it brought it back to reality. They hadn't picked out any names until that point either.

"It's cute," commented Piper.

"You think? It's not too short or girlish."

"No, Finn is a great name. Finn Harper. Sounds like a movie star," Piper rambled on reassuringly to her friend. She then forced another smile onto her face before taking a sip from her tea.

Emery Bloom. That had been her daughter's name. Was her daughter's name. She didn't say it often or liked to think about it often. It brought too much pain to put a name to it all. She hadn't even had the energy to come up with a middle name. The first name had been hard enough.

Polly could tell she had hit a nerve with Piper with all this baby talk. She knew she was still hurting greatly over the miscarriage. She looked on at her friend with concern for a second, before changing the topic.

"You know who's having an affair?"

"Huh!?" The world affair caught Piper's attention and immediately drew her out from her shell. The tips of her ears turned red as an uneasy feeling washed over her. Had Polly heard something? Had she seen something?

"Jordan Nascar!" cried Polly excitably.

"Who?" asked Piper.

"Oh come on Pipes. You know who Jordan Nascar is."

"Oh right," Piper nodded her slightly. She had no idea who Polly was talking about, but pretended she did. She assumed it was just some stupid jock they went to school with. Polly loved to gossip about the people they went to school with.

"Well anyways, his wife last week caught him having sex in their bed with some trollop in the neigbhourhood."

"Trollop? What are we in some Jane Austin novel?"

Polly just gave Piper a look for continuing on with her story.

"How did you find out about this anyways?" asked Piper with curiosity. Jordan Nascar was someone they had gone to high school with. Someone she knew Polly hadn't talked too since then.

"Facebook," said Polly simply.

"He put this all one Facebook?!"

"No,silly. His wife aired it out all on Facebook," continued on Polly as she rubbed her stomach.

"You know his wife?"

"No! Why would I?"

"Ok...so how do you know about all this again."

"Because I'm Facebook friends with Lydia Trent who's married to Jordan's older brother, Leslie. Seriously, you don't remember these people at all?! Leslie was in Danny's class."

Piper opened her mouth to say something, but quickly thought otherwise. She'd long ago stopped caring about people they went to high school with. She didn't check Facebook daily like Polly did. She also didn't remember her older brother Danny's friends like Polly did.

"Well anyways! Can you believe it? Like I couldn't imagine having an affair! First off who has the time. Plus it's just so sleazy, don't you think? Like if your really don't like your partner anymore fucking getting a divorce like an adult!"

"Do you want more tea?" added Polly, not noticing that Piper had become very quiet.

Piper wanted to debate Polly on this. That sometimes affairs happened without the person knowing what was happening. Like yes, adultery was wrong. But it wasn't as cut and dry as Polly was making it sound. She couldn't just tell Larry she wanted a divorce, because she didn't. Yes, she was cheating. She was fully aware of what she was doing to her husband and marriage. But at the same time, she still very much loved Larry. Alex was just more of a distraction.

"I think that's a little harsh," spoke Piper quietly.

"What?"

"That you should just get a divorce. I'm sure Jordan loves his wife."

"Oh yeah. So that's fucking why he had his dick up some other girl's vagina! He did it all because he still loves his wife. He most likely did it because he was bored of his fucking wife!"

"Well...All I'm saying is that there are two sides to every story. We don't know what was going on between Jordan and his could be having an affair as well, you don't know."

Polly looked at Piper like she was crazy. "So your telling me if you found out that Larry was fucking cheating on you with one of your neighbours, that you would forgive him!?

"Yes, I would. Or I would at least try to work it out and not air it all over social media for everyone to read and gossip over!" She knew she couldn't say that if she found out that Larry was cheating, she would kick him to the curve, because that would be the pot calling the kettle black.

"I don't believe you. If I found Pete having a fucking affair I would have him out of the house so fast," explained Polly. She then got up as best as she could and headed back into the kitchen for more tea.

Piper was really regretting coming over here now. She was feeling an avalanche of emotions, from feeling envious of Polly's baby to extremely guilty over cheating on her husband.

Thanks for reading and please review if you want. I promise the next chapter will be more upbeat.

Julie