-Katara-
The endless ocean cradled her, and she let herself drift. With each passing moment, the sun sank lower in the pink and orange sky.
Katara had slipped away after lunch, desiring nothing more than the peace of her own company. When only Toph had known about her and Zuko, she'd been antsy enough. But now Suki knew, too!
She couldn't quite shake the creeping notion that this was all getting out of hand.
It was just so hard to ignore how Zuko made her feel. Which is how we got here in the first place, she thought ruefully, but with a secret thrill. And I'm glad.
Even when she couldn't admit it to herself, the passion had been there. The allure. She'd covered it with hate and distrust pretty well… for a while. But something about him had always enthralled her before, and did so again when they next met. Without her shield of righteous anger, without the comforting lie of He's evil, he betrayed us, and I hate him… she'd stood no chance of resisting his pull.
Now it felt like they were in a free-fall, all the more terrifying because of the tumultuous times they were part of, and more than a part of – integral in. Sure, they were young. But they were also some of the most important and powerful players in the game – without even mentioning Aang, the last air-bender, the boy who held the world in his hands.
The usual bitterness awakened in her, and she screwed her face up to force back tears. This war had already stolen so much from her, and Zuko was yet another attachment to add to the list of possible future losses.
She was just a teenager, with so much to look forward to, and she might be dead in a month. They all might be. A reality she usually tried not to think about. Usually, she was positive and determined and faithful. She held them together, she held onto hope.
It was harder now. She had even more to lose.
Katara rolled over in the water and jetted back to shore as it grew difficult to see, feeling grim and despondent and decidedly not in the mood for a trip to the theater.
Zuko was waiting for her on the beach, shrouded in darkness – wait, no, that's a cloak. Katara smiled slightly. Even though she'd wanted to be alone, the sight of his grumpy face somehow lifted her spirits.
"Hey," he called quietly as she stepped out of the sea, bending the water off her body and out of her hair, which fell in loose waves, tumbling over her bare shoulders, tickling at her waist.
Katara noticed his eyes darken, his jaw clench tight. It was a look he'd often given her… but not one she'd have recognized for what it was, before.
Hunger.
"Hi," she murmured, suddenly feeling very hot. "Is it time to go?"
"Yeah," he sighed. "I don't expect this to be good. But they're excited. Aang's choosing a hat." Zuko rolled his eyes.
"I'm not really in the mood, either," Katara admitted as they made their way back to the house, a respectable distance between them. "But maybe it'll be fun."
When they walked through the front door, everyone was waiting, except Aang. Not unexpected. What made Katara's stomach churn with unease was when Toph, Suki and Sokka immediately… stopped… talking.
There was a supremely awkward pause – and then they all spoke at once.
"Heyyy guys! Ready?"
"You found her!"
"Can we please leave now?"
Another pause. Katara quickly scanned the room. Sokka was watching Zuko out of the corners of his eyes, avoiding her gaze, while Suki at least had enough decency to give her an embarrassed shrug. Toph was leaning against the wall, her expression showing nothing but boredom.
"Right…fun," Zuko growled as he turned and practically stomped back out. Way to keep your cool, Katara thought with a mental eye roll. Not suspicious at all.
"What's going on?" she asked innocently.
"Let's talk later," Suki said quickly, tugging on Sokka's arm. "Come on." She sent Katara an apologetic look as she dragged him out the door.
"So what was that about?" Katara asked Toph pointedly. Toph shrugged uncomfortably and opened her mouth – but before she could speak, Aang came racing down the hallway, a tall, white hat with a red design covering his head.
"Okay, I'm ready!" Aang grinned widely. "What d'you think?"
"I think you look great!" Toph snapped her fingers and headed for the door. Aang stared after her, disappointed, and Katara had to swallow an amused smile.
"Why does she do that?" Aang mumbled as they followed her out.
"You look fine, Aang. Like any other Fire Nation kid," Katara reassured him absentmindedly, and she heard Toph snort in the darkness in front of them. Zuko was already almost out of sight, with Suki and Sokka not far behind, and they hurried to catch up.
The theater was on the edge of town, which relieved Katara. It wouldn't be hard to get away if they were recognized. The surrounding woods were pitch black, but the theater itself was glowing with the light of a thousand lanterns, and she found herself dazzled by its brilliance.
Aang skulked in the back of the group while they bought tickets, but once inside he couldn't seem to stop himself from beaming around at the crowd like a loon.
"What is wrong with you?" Zuko asked Aang as they headed up a flight of stairs to their seats. Katara almost flinched in reaction to his irritation, and debated turning around to mediate – the last thing they needed was a public brawl, and with the way Zuko was acting…
"What's wrong with you?" Aang countered, poutiness creeping into his voice.
On second thought, maybe I should stay out of it. Katara plopped down next to Toph, keeping her eyes determinably fixed on the scene in front of her. A dark red curtain hung over the stage, in front of which were more rows of seats. From their view, they could see into the other box seats, dimly lit by the gentle glow of yet more lanterns.
Katara saw the cloaked figure of Zuko sweep by, and her heart beat just a little bit harder when he slid into the space on her left. A split second later, she caught sight of Aang standing forlornly on the other side of Zuko, and she whipped her eyeballs back to the front. Nope. Just gonna pretend like I don't notice anything.
"Hey, uh…I wanted to sit there." Aang told Zuko awkwardly. Katara couldn't help glancing at them again, burning with embarrassment for Aang. Zuko was sitting comfortably, legs extended, arms crossed. Aang's hands were clasped, and he avoided meeting her eyes.
"What's the big deal?" Zuko asked calmly, but with an edge that told her he still wasn't in a charitable mood. "Just sit next to me."
"I was just…I wanted to…um…" Eyes to the front, Katara. Do. Not. Look. "Okay." Aang's voice was small and defeated, and her heart ached against her will. She hated causing him pain. I'm sorry I can't be what you want me to be. If I could, I would.
Someday she'd tell him that.
Possibly sensing the need for a subject change, Toph piped up.
"Why are we in the nosebleed section? My feet can't see a thing from up here!"
"Don't worry," Katara turned to her gratefully. "I'll tell your feet what's happening."
Just then, a hush fell over the crowd, and the lights dimmed. Everyone turned to the front as the heavy red curtain was pulled back, revealing a stage crudely decorated to look like the waters of Katara and Sokka's homeland. The actress playing Katara had already begun to speak, and Katara let her eyes rest on the woman, who was much older than she and curvy in places her teenage self was not. Not to mention, I don't talk like that! She sounds ridiculous!
Katara fumed silently, but her discontent but must have shown on her face because she thought she heard Zuko mutter, "I told you they were bad." She didn't turn, though. Aang was too close, close enough to see her heart in her eyes.
"This is pathetic!" Sokka leaned over their shoulders, glaring at the buck-toothed actor playing him. "My jokes are way funnier than this!"
"Welllll…" Katara drew out the word teasingly. He was right, though. Neither of them were being well-represented. And it was very strange to see such a private moment from her life portrayed so embarrassingly wrong on stage. Finding Aang had kick-started everything. It had changed her, and more importantly, it changed the world. How dare they smear that victory with this mockery of the truth?
"I think he's got you pegged!" Toph laughed and wiped a fake tear away as Sokka's actor made another joke about his stomach.
The audience laughed, eating it up. The imposter Katara, as she was beginning to refer to the actress in her mind, went off on a teary speech about hope, draping herself over the edge of the canoe dramatically.
Something that sounded suspiciously like snorted laughter was coming from behind Katara, and she crossed her arms. Traitors.
"Well, that's just silly," she grumbled. "I don't sound like that." She turned to eye Sokka, who was grinning hugely, and glared daggers at Suki, who had her hand over her mouth. Clearly the source of the snorting. Zuko had a small smile on his face when she faced the front, just the merest crinkle of his eyes, really.
Her heart leapt all the same.
"Oh, man." Toph was beaming with mirth. "This writer's a genius!"
"You're crazy," Zuko shook his head. "Look at this!"
The Katara on stage was currently whacking her hand against the cardboard cutout of a glacier while blue light practically blinded the rest of them. The cardboard broke into two pieces, and a slim figure somersaulted out of the steam. It was clearly meant to be Aang, with the bald, arrowed head and the small stature, but it was also immediately clear that they'd gotten one critical aspect of his character wrong. Very wrong.
"Wait, is that a woman playing me?" Aang asked in disbelief.
The actress' trilling, cutesy voice and feminine walk, coupled with her lines about 'joy' and 'fun' were enough to make Katara want to run from the room. She glanced at Aang. His eyes were huge with horror, locked on the travesty playing out on stage.
The actress had just made some joke about dumplings, for crying out loud. Now she was giggling and generally acting empty-headed, looking like a fool because that's how the Fire Nation wanted the people to see Aang. This play was just another tool in the Fire Nation arsenal, whether they realized it or not. And they almost certainly did.
"I don't do that!" Aang looked truly incensed now. Katara couldn't blame him. "That's not what I'm like! And I'm not a woman!" He threw his hands up before slumping back in his seat. Toph couldn't stop laughing.
"Oh, they nailed you, Twinkle Toes!" She gasped, clutching her stomach.
The next part of the play detailed Zuko's entrance into the story. Zuko's actor droned on about honor and finding the Avatar, insulting Iroh's character each time he spoke. Iroh, for that matter, was portrayed as a cake-eating buffoon, and Katara could practically hear the real Zuko's teeth grinding away to dust beside her.
"They make me look totally stiff and humorless," Zuko complained. Katara couldn't help the smirk tugging at her lips. Stiff and humorless was exactly what he'd been, at the time. But she knew better now.
"Actually, I think that actor's pretty spot on," she told him mildly, maintaining a pleasant expression when he whipped his head around to glare at her.
"How could you say that?" He asked accusingly, and a heartbeat later, the actor on stage asked the exact same question, in the exact same tone.
Katara spluttered with laughter, trying to send him an apologetic look. Zuko slumped beside Aang, their postures now identical.
They groaned, laughed, and complained as the play mixed truth with propaganda – Kyoshi Island, Bumi in Omashu, the Blue Spirit rescuing Aang, and then… oh, spirits … one of the parts she'd been worried about.
Jet.
"Don't cry, baby! Jet will wipe out that nasty town for you!" The pot-bellied actor playing Jet boomed as Katara's actress sobbed and wailed, attached to his arm like some kind of parasite. She immediately ceased her blubbering when Jet spoke, batting her eyelids up at him.
"Oh Jet, you're so bad," she practically purred, and Katara felt the strong urge to gag. Toph sniggered, and Katara elbowed her, determinedly avoiding everyone's eyes. Especially Zuko's.
The play completely skipped their journey through the Great Divide and moved on to the Northern Water Tribe, where they once again watched Princess Yue get turned into the moon – Sokka with tears in his eyes. After an embarrassing portrayal of Aang taking out the attacking Fire Nation fleets by kicking them, there was an intermission.
Not a moment too soon. They all burst through the doors with a deep sense of relief – except for Toph.
"So far, this intermission is the best part of the play." Zuko stomped down the stairs and sat on the bottom step.
"Apparently, the playwright thinks I'm an idiot who tells bad jokes about meat all the time!" Sokka munched his fire flakes angrily as he followed, Suki right behind him.
"Yeah, you tell bad jokes about plenty of other topics," Suki replied innocently.
"I know!" Sokka pouted.
"At least the Sokka actor kind of looks like you. That woman playing the Avatar doesn't resemble me at all!" Aang was about three shades past furious, and Katara kept her distance, hovering at the back of the group.
"I dunno, you are more in touch with your feminine side than most guys," Toph said sweetly, smirking.
"Ugh!" Aang began to pace back and forth in front of the stairs, his hands clenched into fists.
"Relax, Aang," Katara spoke up, impatient. "They're not accurate portrayals. It's not like I'm a preachy crybaby who can't resist giving overemotional speeches about hope all the time!"
They all twisted around to look at her with varying degrees of hilarity and skepticism. Katara crossed her arms.
"What?" She asked suspiciously.
"Um, yeah, that doesn't sound like you at all," Aang replied, his words dripping with sarcasm as he turned away from her. Katara went still as flash of anger burned under her skin, red-hot. She hadn't expected the violence of the emotion, especially not towards Aang, of all people. He'd never made her spitting mad. But this play seemed to have rubbed salt in all of his wounds, and he was grouchy. Mean.
"Listen friends, it's obvious that the playwright did his research. I know it must hurt, but what you're seeing up there is the truth," Toph stated calmly, sitting down.
No one replied, no one spoke for the rest of the intermission, and the only sounds as they settled back into their seats were the low murmur of the crowd and Sokka, still steadily munching away on his fire flakes.
I knew this play was a bad idea, Katara grumbled internally as the curtain went up and they were once again besieged. Part Two opened with their arrival in the Earth Kingdom, to find an earth-bending master.
"This it is! This must be where I come in!" Toph was on the edge of her seat, gripping the railing excitedly.
Katara felt her mouth drop open, heard Sokka's nervous laugh, but could hardly focus on anything but the giant, burly man who had popped out of a trapdoor… and was apparently playing Toph. A 12 year old blind girl. Oh, this is good. So good. Toph will be eating her words.
"Who are you?" The actress playing Aang asked shrilly.
The man spit on the stage. "My name's Toph, because it sounds like tough, and that's just what I am!"
The audience went wild, and Katara couldn't hold back her grin.
"Wait a minute," Toph said with an incredulous look on her face. "I sound like a guy. A really buff guy."
"Well, Toph, what you hear up there is the truth. It hurts, doesn't it?" Katara asked smugly.
"Are you kidding me? I wouldn't have cast it any other way!" Toph laughed, gleeful. "At least it's not a flying bald lady!"
Katara glanced at Aang, who was scowling ferociously. Sorry, Aang.
They watched as Zuko split off from his Uncle, then Azula confronting their group plus Iroh and Zuko, her escape, but not a word about Katara offering to heal Iroh or Zuko's tortured refusal. Katara was grateful for that. There were some moments she didn't want the entire Fire Nation to know about. All of them, actually, but she'd take what she could get at this point.
Then came the part Katara hadn't allowed herself to think about since the play began. Ba Sing Se. Jet's death. The crystal cave. She'd left no good memories behind in Ba Sing Se. She wanted nothing more than to forget all about it.
Instead, she watched Azula try to drill through the wall, and Jet overcoming his hypnosis to help them, sacrificing his life.
She watched the actress Katara get thrown into the "crystal cave" and felt a great foreboding rising in her chest. This couldn't be good. Katara twitched, fighting the urge to flee. She really didn't want to see how the Fire Nation had mangled this chapter of her life. It was bad enough the first time.
But this was worse than she could have imagined.
"I have to admit, Prince Zuko, I really find you attractive!" The actress gushed at the actor playing Zuko. Katara felt her face freeze with horror. Oh, spirits, please. No.
"You don't have to make fun of me," the actor replied grumpily.
"But I mean it!" The actress moved closer to him. "I've had eyes for you since the day you first captured me!"
Katara peeked sideways at Zuko. His face was bright red, and when his eyes met hers they both hurriedly looked away and scooted even further apart. Aang was glaring at the stage. She tried not to hyperventilate. Surely Aang wouldn't suspect that any of this was the truth?
"Wait, I thought you were the Avatars girl!" Zuko's actor said.
"The Avatar?" Katara's actress laughed gaily. "Why, he's like a little brother to me! I certainly don't think of him in a romantic way. Besides, how could he ever find out about this?" The actors embraced lovingly.
Aang stood up and walked out, ignoring Sokka's whispered requests for more food. Katara watched him leave, her heart racing. This outing was a huge mistake.
Zuko returned her gaze with a grim look of acknowledgement.
"Should I follow him?" Katara breathed, hoping Sokka wouldn't hear. Zuko's mouth tightened. His only response was a one-shouldered shrug. Katara slowly sank back in her seat and tried to pay attention. They'd just gotten to the part where the actor Zuko had to choose between Azula or Iroh, good or bad, darkness or light.
The actor pushed the man playing Iroh to the ground, shouting at him. Katara winced.
"Did you really do that?" She asked Zuko, who was watching with a pained expression.
"I might as well have." His eyes were dark and shuttered. Katara wanted nothing more in that moment than to take his hand, hold him close. All this had happened only minutes after their talk in the caves, when they'd connected, when he'd seemed like he was on the brink of choosing the right path. Maybe if she'd stayed, she could have changed things. Maybe Aang would never have been hurt at all, and Zuko and Iroh could have joined them…
Katara was lost in the possibilities, imagining the future that might have been, but was distracted by the gasps of the audience around her.
She already knew what she would see. The scene of Aang's almost-death played out with horrible familiarity. Zuko had chosen his old life, and so they fought. Azula struck Aang down just as he went into the Avatar state.
Katara looked away, at Zuko. His eyes appeared to be glistening, his face tense. She slid her hand just close enough to brush against his, and he closed his eyes.
"The Avatar is no more!" The actress playing Azula declared, and the curtain went down, signaling the second intermission.
Aang. Feeling emotional, raw from reliving the day that still haunted her nightmares, Katara stood and went after him without a backwards glance. She hoped Zuko would understand. Aang needed her, too. She couldn't give him everything, but at the very least she could still be a good friend to him.
Couldn't she?