Hello, everyone. This is a major TRIGGER WARNING for this chapter. There are graphic depictions of past abuse as well as descriptions of a panic attack. If you don't want to read this, I will include a small summary at the very end of the chapter to sum up the important parts.
This is a big one, guys. This is one of the sadder chapters but it needs to happen! It's been building up this whole time for Valerie. Don't worry, it'll definitely get happier. Happier times ahead, I promise.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Deserve It
The reflection in the mirror made my stomach swirl with an instant wave of nausea. It was Monday morning and on my last check in the mirror, I almost decided to skip school. It would have been an easier decision. There would be no explaining the deep purple bleeding across the left side of my jaw, cheek, and even partway down my neck. At first, makeup had covered the expanse of color, but since it didn't cover all the way it only brought more attention to the bruise. Though it wasn't exposed to the world like that one, there was a matching bruise of a perfect handprint across my stomach where I was restrained against a tree.
I had cried so much that morning that I finally had to forgo any attempts at makeup. Gray eyes rimmed with red, face pale from a lack of sleep, and shoulders turned slightly inward as if to protect myself made me look like a version of myself I never wished to see again. My reflection in the mirror was my sixteen-year-old self, burnt out and numb. The difference was when it was my dad I was able to cover the bruises and marks. At least my dad had known restraint, even under the influence of the bottle.
How had I let myself get here? I was suddenly grateful that Will had already left for work. Since Emmett had driven me home, I had hidden in my room in fear for when the bruises would develop. How could I possibly explain to Will that even after all the sacrifices he made to save me, I'd still allowed myself to end up the victim again?
"Pull yourself together," I whispered to my reflection, jaw tight with a determination I hadn't had since the trial. I would not be the victim again, I would make sure of that. After getting so comfortable in Forks, I would not ruin everything by allowing people to give me that look of pure pity. "You've done this before, Val," I tried, desperate to give myself a pep talk I couldn't get from anyone else, "Do what you do best."
I would not let anyone at Forks High make me a victim, least of all Jasper Hale.
The parking lot made me want to turn around. Though it was still chilly, there were nicer days intermittently thrown in. I stepped out of my car to be greeted by only a gentle breeze rather than the harsh wind that instantly bit at cheeks and made them bright red. That meant there were plenty of people in the lot, hovering by cars and talking in groups as they avoided walking into the high school building.
I was thankful no one could really see me in my car. It gave me a moment to allow the discomfort to wash over my face; the bruises on my stomach were pulled oddly as I sat and I knew it would continue to sting all day. Once I composed myself, I stepped out of the car ready to act out my plan. It was going rather well, too, as I walked by groups of acquaintances and no one seemed to notice anything out of the ordinary, or if they did, no one said anything. I should have known that once Hannah arrived at school my plan would crumble.
"Valerie Hope Dryden, what the hell happened to you!" The shriek seemed to echo across the entire lot, turning heads and instantly triggering the whispers and frightened looks that I thought I'd left behind in Alabama. Leave it to Hannah to bring attention to me once again. She sprinted to me from her car in an instant, slamming into me with a force that left me breathless for a moment. She clung to me tightly then pulled back to look at my face closer. I'd done my best to hide it; for once wearing my hair down to cover some of it. Still, the deep purple was a stark contrast against my skin. "Who did this to you?"
I glance away from her for a moment, unable to stare at that expression on her face. Hannah was petrified for me; she looked like she wanted to baby me for the rest of the day. I suddenly found myself looking at the people across the lot from us, in view just over Hannah's shoulder. The group gathered by their cars, standing completely silent and all watching me. They were too far to read their expressions, though I for sure didn't see any smiles, only bright golden eyes watching my every move. Emmett had said their senses were heightened, so I imagined the Cullens were waiting to see if I would out their brother. What would they have done if I told her? Take me out on the spot, wait until I got home where I was alone? No, I had no desire to tell Hannah about Jasper, mostly for my own selfish needs. I didn't want everyone to know I'd tried to date a Cullen after all of their warnings and got exactly what they said I would.
"I thought I'd go to Port Angeles last night, go check out those lessons you were telling me about," I lied with too much ease. This was the part of the routine I was most familiar with, this was what I did best. Give as convincing a lie as possible so no one questioned too much. Deny everything. "I was stupid, walking around alone at night." My eyes dropped to stare at my feet as I knew any victim of assault would. I knew the patterns of a victim all too well and I could play that part for Hannah. All I had to do was imagine that night in California had just happened.
"Oh my God, you got jumped?" Hannah gasped almost as loudly as her first shout. "Did they take anything? Are you okay?"
Once again I found myself staring over Hannah's shoulder at the group of what I now knew to be vampires. I stared at the one with dirty blonde hair as I told Hannah, "Don't worry, I got away before anything worse could happen."
"Well, I can't believe you even made it here! You know the teachers would've understood if you needed a day or something t-"
"I appreciate it, Han, but I'd really rather things don't change on account of what happened," I told her, giving her tiny little arms a squeeze before moving out of her grasp and giving her a small smile. "I prefer we pretend nothing happened at all."
"Well, if you're sure," Hannah agreed slowly, caution and worry filling her tone of voice.
"I'm sure," I answered with a nod of finality. "Now how was shopping with your mom?" I asked, not sparing a glance at the Cullen family as we walked by them.
Chemistry was the class I dreaded the most. I thought about skipping it; I'd even gone back to my locker to pack up my bag just in case. Though, I knew that would be the coward's way out. No, I would face Jasper today otherwise I wouldn't have the courage to ever do it. So I stepped into the classroom, turning my head so my hair hid the left side of my face from the teacher. It was best I didn't give many adults the chance to ask questions.
I kept my eyes trained on the ground, not wanting to see how Jasper and Emmett were looking at me. I could see two pairs of feet at the lab table, alerting me to the fact that Jasper also figured he would face the situation head-on. I could respect that. It was obvious they were waiting for me to set the tone, but after I didn't say anything Emmett finally spoke up.
"Hey." Emmett's voice was as quiet as I'd ever heard it, unsure.
"Emmett, I swear if you're not as annoying as you always are I will drop out and then it'll be on you that I don't get to be a lawyer," I warned him, not looking up but rather immediately beginning to read the instructions for the day's lab experiment. I was thankful the boys were standing on my left side, I could keep a wall of hair in between me and them.
It was silent for so long I thought Emmett might protest, but instead, he answered with, "Is that a challenge, Dryden?" I could hear the amusement thick in his voice and it even made me crack a smile.
"It's a threat, Cullen," I mimicked the way he said my name, shaking my head and turning on our bunsen burner.
"You couldn't handle me at my most annoying," Emmett teased then, the two of us starting to fall into our normal pattern of banter. Now though, Jasper didn't give us those small, amused smirks that didn't seem to match how tense his body was. Instead, he just stared at the table, seeming to glower at his hand resting there.
"So you have been holding back," I returned, trying to ignore the fact that his brother was still standing on the other side of Emmett. It was easier that way. I was thankful for Emmett. All of my other friends, though I had asked them not to, still were careful around me. They all acted like they had to tiptoe around me otherwise I would break down right in front of them. Emmett, perhaps because he knew what actually happened, was actually following my lead.
"Miss Dryden, it's March. You know the rules by now, hair up and out of the way of the flames," the teacher's dull voice called from the front of the room, ruining mine and Emmett's fun.
"Right," I hissed, grabbing my hair roughly out of the frustration bubbling up in me. I couldn't get away with something for one day? No, of course not. The world really did hate me, it seemed. I manhandled my hair into a quick ponytail, knowing it would return to its job as a mask as soon as the hour was over. I almost asked if Jasper and I could switch places, just so those two wouldn't have to stare at that side of my face the whole time like a constant reminder.
"Valerie," a voice called from my left and it was so full of pain that I thought maybe someone had gotten hit by a car just then. I heard a small inhalation as he started to continue what he was saying, but I was quick to cut him off.
"Jasper, you better be saying something relating to chemistry otherwise I really just don't care to hear it."
"Just please listen to what I have to say and th-" he continued to try, clearly not taking the hint. My hands clutched the side of the table tightly until the veins and tendons popped under my skin. Did he really have the guts to try to talk to me at the moment? Did he not understand what this possibly could have done to me?
"No," I answered simply, trying to will my body to relax but instead finding all of my muscles were taut, ready to run if need be. "You don't get the right to just talk to me like everything is okay. I will talk to you about the lab and that's all."
"Valerie, let me make this right," Jasper tried again. This time my head snapped over to stare at him, taking in the pure agony on his expression. I hated that even after what happened, I still wanted to take away the pain he was feeling.
"You really don't want to go there right now," I warned, giving a quick glance to the other people populating the room. "I would, but unlike you, I actually think about how my actions will affect other people." Jasper's jaw literally dropped slightly, lips parted and golden eyes widened in shock and hurt. "Besides, I'm just trying to help you out, since talking to me is so painful, you know?"
"Valerie, don't do that. I want to talk about what happened."
"Nothing happened, as far as I'm concerned," I answered back quickly, not daring to look at Jasper again otherwise I'd never finish what I had to say. "No kiss, no California, no heartfelt talks on the lawn, nothing. You said it yourself, this isn't a movie and it never will be. It was my fault for thinking otherwise."
With that I turned back to the lab at hand, grabbing the needed equipment and allowing myself to get lost in the task. It was easy to turn my brain off for a few moments as I gathered what I needed to begin our experiment.
I didn't have to think about the way Jasper kept glancing at me, eyes never leaving the bruise that marred my profile. I didn't even have to notice the way Emmett once again stood as a physical barrier between the two of us, or wonder if he originally stood between us all those months ago to prevent something like this from happening. I didn't have to go back to the moment I ran out of the forest, when Emmett immediately thought his brother hurt me when he normally thought so highly of his family. I didn't have to wonder if that entire damn family knew Jasper was bound to do this and they just let it happen because I was just some human girl who didn't matter in the grand scheme of the universe. No, it would have been ridiculous to focus on any of that.
It was later that evening that really broke everything to pieces. I had immediately gone to my room after getting back from school, hiding out from everyone for fear of my family seeing what had happened to me. It was after dinner, the one I had pretended to be asleep for. There was a sharp knock on the door and I could hear a gruff voice speaking to Will, asking if he could step inside.
It sounded too serious, so I opened my bedroom door slowly and snuck out onto the landing where I could watch what was happening from above. I felt like when I'd first moved into the house, spying on Will and Rebecca talking about my assumed trauma. Although, this conversation didn't seem to be too different as I saw Chief Swan talking to Will and Rebecca.
"-looks like abuse, Will," Chief Swan was explaining, his entire stance awkward as he tried to tell his friend he was being accused of abusing a dependent. "Several teachers reported bruises on her face and neck, consistent with a hand grabbing her. Apparently she was telling people she got it from Port Angeles last night."
"That's impossible, she was on a date last night. She came home right after, I was here," Will exclaimed, gray eyes wide with fear. Was this really happening? My heart began to pound in my chest as I realized what was about to happen. In protecting the Cullens, I was putting the blame on my brother who had been nothing but perfect to me. I wanted to go downstairs and immediately set the record straight, but what could I tell them? I didn't want the police to go after Jasper, and in truth, I didn't know if they even could handle Jasper. Still, my feet couldn't move under me so I was stuck listening.
"Did she have the bruises when she returned from the date?" the chief asked, voice stern now as he began to question Will, trying to find any other explanation for the reports he'd gotten that day.
"Well, I...," Will shook his head, "I didn't really get a good look, but no. I didn't notice anything. I was stressed about work but...I would've noticed something like that. I would've." Will had hardly looked at me last night when I got back, something I had been grateful for. He hadn't even asked much about my date, instead sighing about how someone at work had messed up and he now had to fix the mistake on his night off.
"And she didn't sneak out after?" Chief Swan tried, clearly trying to find some explanation that didn't include sweet Will Dryden being an abuser.
"No, no we have an alarm set. Valerie doesn't know the passcode, there's no way she could've snuck out," Rebecca explained softly, her eyes wet with tears. That was actually news to me. I made a mental note to find the alarm so I could figure out how to turn it off at night.
"Then she must have sustained those injuries at home." Chief Swan sighed, watching Will closely for any kind of slip-up.
"No! No, I would never hurt her!" Will shouted, and even from the landing, I could see the anger filling his stance. "How dare you accuse me of that! I took her in after our dad-" He cut himself off, shaking his head, clearly unable to finish that thought. We all knew what our dad had done. "I would never hurt her."
"Well, I suggest getting an explanation from her. I hate to do this, but Will, this doesn't look good for you," Chief Swan warned, shaking his head. There were other words said, but I honestly couldn't focus any longer. As the front door opened then soon shut again, I scrambled to my feet, taking off back into the safety of my bedroom.
So the teachers really had noticed my appearance. I had to hand it to the faculty of Forks High. My dad had gotten through almost a year of this kind of thing before anyone caught on. It was only when I had missed over a week of school that finally someone gave a shit. Though I supposed it was different in a town like Forks; they probably took every little crime seriously since they never seemed to happen here.
I could hear footsteps taking the stairs slowly. I tried desperately to control my breathing and force the tears away before the confrontation I knew was coming. I only wondered if Rebecca would join Will in a united front against me; if they would tell me to get out of the house for daring to damage Will's reputation here. My entire body tensed, waiting for the anger to be unleashed. Instead, there was only a soft knock on my door, barely there. "Valerie? Can I come in?" Will's voice was as soft as the knock, shaking a little as he clearly tried to contain his emotions.
"Go away," I tried desperately, sitting on the floor in front of my bed and wishing the world would let me disappear.
"You know I can't do that," he answered, and I knew, I did. When I didn't say anything in return, Will slowly opened the door and turned on the light to reveal where I was sitting. He just stood there for a long time, looking at me. I couldn't read his expression, and it made me wonder if even he knew what he was feeling. "Valerie."
"I wish people would stop saying my name like that," I sighed, wrapping my arms around my knees and pulling them tight against my chest. It hurt my stomach like crazy but it also made me feel small like I could pull myself out of view at any second.
Will crossed the room slowly, bending down in front of me and reaching out to rest his fingers softly under my chin; a stark contrast to the harsh way Jasper had handled it just a day before. I allowed him to turn my head so he could examine the bruising; the large patch on the left and even the band wrapping around the front of my throat. Will was a nurse, and from that alone, I knew he would recognize the bruises were from someone choking me. I waited for him to break the silence because my throat was too strained to get a word out. My cheeks burned with humiliation as Will examined the proof that I had messed up yet again.
"I didn't do this to you," Will spoke, desperation clear on his face as he tried to prove that he didn't.
"I know," I whispered, staring at his arm as he continued to hold my face, unable to meet his gaze. I didn't want to know what kind of emotion was held in those eyes. I couldn't bear to see the anger in them.
"Who did?"
"Some guy in Port Angeles," I lied quickly, moving my head backward to escape his touch. By now he knew that was a lie, but I couldn't tell him the truth, not when I knew what he would do. I couldn't be the victim again.
"We both know that's not true, Valerie," Will still spoke hardly above a whisper, voice rough as he restrained everything he was feeling in that moment. "Just tell me, Valerie, and we can fix it."
"I don't want to fix it," I suddenly pleaded, voice cracking as the tears finally began to spill down my cheeks again. Those damn tears that I was so tired of spilling. It was true; as much as I hated what Jasper did to me, I didn't want to get him in trouble. I didn't want to ruin any kind of relationship I had with his family, or even with him. I was the one who pushed too hard even when he asked me not to. I was the one who made this happen. "Nothing happened, it was nothing. I can handle it."
"You don't have to handle it on your own."
"I dealt with Dad on my own."
"And Dad almost killed you."
There was blood on the carpet. Someone was sobbing and there was screaming that really hurt my head. I think maybe I was the one crying, because someone was beside me, telling me that it would be okay. I heard sirens in the distance and I wished they'd turn them off because my head was killing me. I was engulfed in pain but there was blood on the carpet and Dad was going to kill me for it.
"No," I hissed, expression tightening to reveal the pain I was feeling. I'd blocked it out by now, not wanting to think about that night it went too far. I hadn't gone back to that night in months, not since leaving Roseville. I had promised myself that once I got to Forks, I would pretend none of it had ever happened. It was simple to say, 'my dad hurt me', rather than look back on exactly how he'd done so. I could pretend it wasn't all that bad, that I hadn't been affected by it. "He didn't. It wasn't that bad. It's not that bad."
"You have to face it, Valerie. Just like this time, you can't ignore that it happened," Will continued, hands resting on my upper arms. I knew then that he wasn't done, that he wouldn't let me be done. "Emily found you, remember? You were in the living room and there was so much blood. There was an infection, remember? It had been there at least four days, you had laid there at least four days."
One of my teachers made a wellness visit to the house while I was at track practice. She saw my bruises and was concerned my boyfriend was hurting me. Dad was furious, he was always furious. I couldn't move. It had never been this bad before. I was in the middle of the living room, laying in front of the TV, unable to get up. Dad wasn't concerned, he never was. He kept drinking his beers until he would pass out each night, give me a kick to make sure I was still around in the morning. That teacher never came back. She never came back, she didn't care that much.
"Stop it," I pleaded, letting a rough sob tear my throat on its way out. Why wouldn't he stop? Blood. I didn't want to remember this. With the memories came all the fear I had felt in that week I spent on the living room floor. "I can't remember, I can't." Sirens. A gurney. Cops handcuffing Dad when he never moved from his spot on the couch.
"You have to face it, Valerie," Will continued, watching me with his own tears in his eyes. "What happened to you?"
"Dad hurt me," I answered quickly with a breathless voice. My standard answer, it was easy, disconnected.
"No, what happened to you?" Will tried again, clearly not accepting the same answer I'd been giving him for months now.
"Don't make me say it," I pleaded with my brother, hands clutching his scrubs tightly. "Don't."
"If you don't accept the past, then you can't admit what happened now," Will answered sadly, hands folding over top of mine. "You'll be stuck in the same loop forever."
Two weeks in the hospital. Everything hurt but the pain meds were good. Too many cops wanting to talk to me. 'No, I don't know how I got like that.' 'No idea? Are you sure? We can protect you.' 'No clue.'
"That teacher told him that she was worried about me. He got mad, he went too far. I knew he had when I couldn't get up. Dad just left me there, he didn't care. He would've let me die," I finally vocalized it, closing my eyes tight as if that could stop the flood of memories in my head. "Emily came to check on me after I missed a track meet. I'd given her a spare key once. She found me and Dad was passed out on the couch."
"I protected him, Will, after the hospital," I cried, shaking my head. Every part of my body was quivering as the tears just kept going. There was so much pain, so much bubbling to the surface that I had kept down for so long. I was fine, I was not the victim. "I protected him and he beat me for it, he didn't believe me that I didn't tell anyone."
"I know, I know, Val," Will answered, pulling me close and squeezing me tight.
"I told Emily's Mom after that," I spoke quickly, voice rough with tears.
"What did you tell her?"
"That I let Dad hurt me."
That clearly wasn't the answer he wanted. "What?" Will asked incredulously, pulling back from our hug to watch me with a shocked and hurt expression.
"I let it happen. I didn't stop him." My eyes turned downward, staring at the wrinkles in Will's scrub shirt. Guilt flooded through my chest as I realized he'd have to iron them out later. "I could've made things easier on everyone if I would've just stopped him."
"Valerie, no one expected you t-" Will tried again, but I couldn't stop.
Valerie, when you were in the hospital, was that your dad? Did he hurt you?
Valerie! Did Jasper hurt you? Valerie, did he hurt you?
"He hurt me," I gasped, hands slipping from their tight grasp on Will's shirt to brush against the bruises across my neck. My other hand grabbed my shirt, pulling it up to finally notice the purple hand on my stomach. Will gasped in front of me but I couldn't hear him, I could only hear Emily's Mom, Jasper, everyone who lied to me.
Valerie, I promise you will always have a place with us. You won't get hurt again.
A sharp breath hit my lungs, making me recognize how badly my chest burned. The sobs were spilling out of me uncontrollably now, one hand at my stomach and the other mimicking how my neck had been held before. Fingers dug in at the skin there, pulling tight but I couldn't feel anything. I should've felt something.
Don't think I won't come after you if you hurt her.
It's not my intention to hurt her.
"Valerie, breathe," Will pleaded, hands trying to grab at mine and pull them from me. "You're hurting yourself, stop!" His large hands finally yanked mine from their tight hold on myself, holding my arms in the air between us by my wrists. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have made you remember. I'm so sorry, I thought you were ready. I thought you needed to, I'm sorry."
I told you I was dangerous. You didn't listen.
You never listen to anything I tell you! Are you that useless? Why couldn't it have been you in the fire?
I told you I was dangerous. I told you I was dangerous.
The next thing I remembered was Will's arms around me in the gentlest hug I'd ever experienced. I was practically laying against him, head lolled over his shoulder as he just rubbed soothing circles into my back. He just kept whispering to me, whispering his apologies.
"It was Jasper," I whispered before I could think about it. My body was exhausted and it felt like my mind was running on autopilot. I couldn't think about it. I told you I was dangerous.
"I'm gonna kill that bastard," Will hissed, arms tightening around me until I let out a small noise of fear. No, I didn't need that kind of anger right now. I couldn't hear that kind of anger.
"He didn't mean to. He's been hurt before too." That much was clear to me, even in my exhausted state. Much of his hesitancy came from the secret, the damned secret that ruined us. Still, there was a wall up that was subtle, so subtle I had missed it before. Now, though, it was easy to see the signs. It was easy to recognize that he had been taken advantage of too.
"It doesn't excuse what he did to you," Will answered, voice tight as he clearly tried to restrain his anger. "I'll call Charlie back. You can explain what happened. We can fix this, he can answer for what he did to you."
"I don't want to," I answered, voice raw from so many tears.
"Val, I followed your lead with Josh. I trusted it and what happened? You got hurt again, on my watch. I won't let that happen again."
"No, no Will it's not your fault," I tried, panic suddenly bubbling up in me. There was no way Will could blame this on himself. What had he done except find me a loving home to stay in, except give me the space I needed to process everything? He had been nothing but kind, how could he blame this on himself? "I'm not forgiving Jasper, I'm not. But..." A deep breath as I tried to collect my fragmented thoughts. "I can tell he's been through something. I don't want to make it worse on him. I just want to move past this."
"He has no idea what he's lost, you know," Will answered, clearly disagreeing with me but also not protesting it any longer.
"I'm damaged," I responded, scoffing a little as the word flew off my tongue.
"Yeah, you are a little. But you're not broken," Will told me, this time moving so he could look me in the eyes again. He looked about as tired as I must have, tear tracks beginning to dry on his cheeks. "That says so much about you, Valerie. You just keep fighting even when the world is trying to drag you down. I don't know how you do it."
"I'm sorry I lied. I didn't think they would accuse you of causing this," I told him, gesturing weakly at the bruising. "I'll tell Chief Swan that it wasn't you, that I won't be pressing charges on who it was."
"I'm just glad you opened up to me," Will sighed. "You were never going to move past any of it the way you were going. You can't ignore the past."
"I can sure as hell try."
"Not anymore. Valerie, you have to promise me. No more," Will stated firmly. "If I don't go to the police about Jasper, then you have to start talking about this stuff. Start working on it. You can't keep it bottled up forever or it'll eat you alive."
I hated the idea of talking about this. "You're making me get a shrink, aren't you?" I knew the state had suggested the idea to him when he took over caring for me, but I was quick to shoot down that idea before. I'd always believed it was better to just move on, pretend nothing had happened.
"Well, I'm not exactly trained in this sort of thing."
"You did a pretty good job," I told him.
"I threw you right into a panic attack."
"It was bound to happen," I shrugged, leaning in to hug my brother again. How did I get so lucky to have him around?
"You know I'm going to have to talk to Dr. Cullen tomorrow," Will admitted.
"What? No! No, you can't say anything," I panicked again, though Will was quick to put a hand up and stop me.
"He has to know what his son has been up to. Maybe Jasper can get help too." The silent and he needs it hung thick in the hair between us.
"Okay," I finally agreed, wondering if a centuries-old vampire would really care what another centuries-old vampire was doing. I had to wonder what school was going to be like after that, if I would lose Emmett as a friend too because of this, if there was no way for me to learn to forgive Jasper.
"You didn't deserve to have this happen to you." The words stuck with me for the rest of the night. Even after Will stood up, gathered my PJs, and started the shower for me. Even after he left to give me privacy, going downstairs to be comforted by his wife. Even after I had showered and tucked myself into bed, laying wide awake and staring at the ceiling, I found myself whispering the words to myself as if they were a prayer. If someone as good as Will could believe those words, then maybe I should try to believe them too.
You didn't deserve to have this happen to you.
SUMMARY: Valerie is stand-offish to Jasper at school. She lies for him to Hannah and others, protecting him by saying she got her injuries in Port Angeles that weekend. When Will is accused of causing it by Chief Swan, he forces her to begin to come to terms with what happened with their dad, and with Jasper. END SUMMARY.
As I said, it's a big one. Honestly, there won't be much more of the abuse plot point. I wanted to give a good wrap up for it, explaining that Valerie is going to begin actually facing what happened and working on it. While there will be mentions, there will be no more chapters centering on what happened in her past, as she's finally at least wanting to move beyond it.
Also, I know it doesn't look good for Jalerie right now. He's going to have to prove to her that that wasn't him. It's going to be hard, but hey this wasn't considered a romance fic for nothing. So just, bear with me. I have a plan. Everything is plotted out from now until the end of Part One. Right now I have two "parts" planned out. Both will happen in this fic, there will just be a separation between the two as they are distinct plot switches. I'm expecting the end of Part One to be around chapter 40 or so.
Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter and I'd love to hear your feedback! I literally was overwhelmed by the feedback I got for the last chapter. At one point I started crying because I was just so thankful for you guys, seriously. I can't say it enough how happy it makes me to hear from y'all.
As always, review responses are below.
sarah0406: Thank you for reviewing! I also think Rosalie would have agreed with Emmett, though she may have been one of the few who would. You got me there, though, Valerie definitely will forgive Jasper, eventually. She'll definitely make him work for it, but it'll happen.
.2020: Thanks so much for all your reviews! I'm so glad to see you've been enjoying this fic so far.
Ghostwriter71: I always enjoy reading your reviews, so thank you once again! That was one of my biggest complaints with the original books, that the Cullens were allowed to act however they wanted and Bella never made them answer to it. I really wanted to show that after being a vampire for so long, they really did forget what humanity was like and may act in a way that's definitely not okay. Valerie will start to understand that and will actually hold Jasper accountable for it, making sure he knows that that's not how you can treat a human. Anyway, I digress, thank you so much for continuing to read and support this story. Also, I listened to that song you suggested and I agree it kinda reminds me of this story!
tamedbanshee: Oh my goodness, thank you so much for sending that review! It made me smile so much, I'm not even kidding. I'm so happy you like Valerie and how I'm writing the Cullens, lately I've been really nervous about it so I do appreciate hearing that so much.
sHiZoooo: I can't thank you enough, seriously! I've read so many fics in one day or night, and I couldn't ever imagine anyone doing that with one of mine. I'm so glad you've enjoyed this fic so far.
Vera: Oh trust me, she's going to make him work. I want to make it clear that while she will forgive him, it's not going to be easy for him. Honestly, I think the only reason she does end up forgiving him is the feelings that come with being mates. I definitely wanted to explore the idea of mates more in this fic, so I'm glad you're interested in that too. Thanks so much for taking the time to review!
Gracie A: YOU ARE AMAZING. I was having this moment where I seriously regretted posting that last chapter, and then literally your review came in and it made me cry. Like, I cannot thank you enough for everything that you wrote in that review. I just keep going back and re-reading it, like thank you. Yeah, I can see that. I don't know how to write the summary in a way that gets it across that I don't intend for this fic to be the typical OC insert even though it has some elements in it. Valerie definitely always dreamed of having a little sibling, especially since she knew she had an older brother who just was never around. I want to do more with Val and Laurie, it's in the plan for sure. I'm so glad you like Hannah and Jordan! While the personalities are totally different, the relationship they have with Val is actually based around my little trio of friends that was made during my freshman year of college. One part of this fic I wanted to get across was how important a good friend group can be. Also, I appreciate that you like Emmett and Val! I've had a couple of people PM me and mention that they seem a little too romantic, but that was never what I wanted to get across. I absolutely intended for him to be, as you said, her really true friend. I wanted her to have a friend she could trust no matter what in the vampire world. I'm just gonna keep thanking you a million times, but I'm so glad you said all that about my portrayal of Jasper. Right now, their relationship is really toxic and I did that on purpose. But rest assured, I don't intend for it to continue that way forever. This chapter sets up kind of that breaking point for Valerie where she goes, if he continues to act like this and never learn, then I'm done with him, you know? I plan for them to work on things and for him to improve because I really want the Cullens to realize that they can still learn things from humans. So yes, it's toxic right now, but Jasper will have to realize he can't act like that. Anyway, thank you so so much for taking the time to type out that review and for reading this fic!