-xxxxx-
When you close your eyes, what do you see?
Do you hold the light or is darkness underneath?
In your hands, there's a touch that can heal
But in those same hands, is the power to kill
-xxxxx-
Leah POV
When I finally came to, it was with a splitting headache. I moaned, feeling my aching head and grimaced.
"Hey," Bella's familiar voice broke through the rushing blood in my brain and I blinked, searching for her.
She was sitting across from me in a seat, beer in hand. I glanced around, seeing Kira leaning against the window, facing outside
I could hear Adrian and the others in another room talking.
"What the fuck happened?" I asked, staring at the unfamiliar room. "Where are we?"
Then it clicked in.
I stood up abruptly, about to rush Kira and kick the shit out of her when the room spun and I saw double. I stumbled and she snorted, rolling her eyes and looked back out the window.
"Your weak, it'll pass as your body adjusts to the changes," Kira said, not looking at me.
I scowled at her, god she was a real bitch sometimes.
'Your one to talk,' her voice was crystal clear in my head, and I felt my eyes widen and I took a nervous step back.
"Did you just-," no, it was impossible, she couldn't be-'what? Speaking to you mentally? Unfortunately, you're mistaken'.
"Alright, you two are talking mentally right now, and it's already irritating," Bella spoke out.
"What changes?" I asked, this was starting to be too much. I stared at Kira, "you died. I felt it. I want some fucking answers before I start throwing punches. Actually, on second thought," I rushed Kira and hit her as hard as I could, catching her in the jaw. We stumbled and I felt both satisfied and guilty as her head snapped back and a red mark appeared on the side of her face. I went to swing again and she gripped my wrists and shoved me up against the wall. Her eyes flashed darkly, becoming inky once again and she smirked at me.
"I'm much stronger then you now Leah," she whispered, eyes roaming over my face. I tried to pull from her grasp and
she tightened her grip, grinning at me now. She tilted her head thoughtfully. "You wouldn't believe how much I used to miss your beauty," she murmured, eyes flashing even darker. "Apparently, hell didn't like that very much."
I suddenly went back to earlier, recalling what she'd whispered in my ear. "I watched you die, over and over and over again for years and it broke me every single time. And then one day, I enjoyed watching the light fade from your pretty brown eyes. The Kira you know, doesn't exist anymore. Her love for you killed her. Ironic isn't it? She thought it would save her."
"Were you real?" I asked her, staring into her fathomless eyes. If I stared deeply enough, I could see a silver fire burning deep within them. How that was possible was beyond me.
She eyed me down, knowing what I was asking and for a long tense moment, I didn't think she would answer at all. "Yes."
"What the hell does that mean, 'were you real'?" and that would be Brandon and the others finally joining this fantastic fucking conversation.
I didn't take my eyes off of her though and she didn't look away either. "You were real," I whispered, remembering all those nights that she'd come back. "How?"
She sighed, "you needed me Leah. I saw how you were that first night I came to you. You had closed in on yourself. My death broke you and if you could see me, why not?"
"Back up, you saw Kira?" Caleb asked and then rounded on his sister, "you went to Leah?" I glanced at everyone's hurt expression.
"Leah could see me, she was more in touch with the spiritual world because of how disconnected from the physical world she became. If any of you had been around while I was with her, you would've felt and sensed me, but that was it. Our imprint is what gave her the ability to pull more of me out of that realm, enough for my mind to be here, but not my body."
Kira ran a hand through her hair, "I went to each of you," she turned to Adrian, "I went to you first Adrian, because I knew if you could see me, it would only be a matter of time before you brought me home. But you were so deep in the Red you didn't sense anything. I was dead to you. Leah was calling to me, the door was easier to create with her."
Adrian turned to me, "you said nothing?"
I glared, not impressed with his accusatory tone. "Of course I didn't say anything. Kira was dead, every person in this room felt her die. No one would've believed me if I had said that I was seeing her," I turned to Kira, "and you told me yourself that you weren't truly there, how in god's name was I supposed to know you meant that your body was trapped? Couldn't just fucking say that could you?"
"I think were getting off base here," Bella cut in, shooting a look at Kira. "Tell them about the angels."
Kira tensed at the reminder and then scowled at nothing. "I've never felt anything like it. Its like a big slap in the face to the most primal part of us," she shuddered. "That shit is not easy to control when you've been in hell for years."
"Not what I meant," Bella said, equally uneasy.
"Angels are real?" I asked skeptically.
"Unfortunately," Kira muttered, "they came with a warning. If I don't return to hell in two weeks time," she glanced around at each of us, "then we all die. I would go, if it weren't for the fact that Samael, a legionnaire from hell is sending an army to kill Leah and the rest of you."
"Why did you attack the pack? And me?" I asked, not seeing the connection.
"It was a spell or something, I don't know. Were bound more intensely now. It's a demonic thing. I branded you," she looked even more irritated now. "Our connection is much more annoying than before."
"Is that why I can hear you in my head?" I asked in disbelief. "What does that mean, a demon brand? I still don't get what that has to do with their warning."
"This is what it fucking means," she pulled a butterfly blade out and cut her palm and I felt the slicing pain in my own hand. I looked down incredulously, seeing the blood start to pool and then watch as it slowly began to close.
"Oh my god," I whispered, staring at the wound.
"Leah, you called to me, stronger than ever. For some reason it gave me the ability to return, I could still feel you, you pulled me back. I didn't want to feel you die again, so I let you. It upset my father," Kira explained.
"Why do you keep saying I died? What do you mean again?" I asked in confusion. "I never died."
She looked away and said nothing. But I felt her pain and in my mind I heard her whisper, 'yes, you did. Hundreds upon hundreds of times'.
I stared at her, not understanding. "Regardless, that there was the angels insurance. If I die, you die. If you die, I die. Again. If I return to hell, I don't know what happens, but I guess I don't have to die for that. I don't know what would happen if we were bound when one of us dies. I can't go to heaven, so I'm guessing you would join me in the Underworld and that's their way of making sure you don't die. I don't want you with me," she said in such an ugly way that I was tempted to hit her again.
"God, you're a real bitch, you know that?" apparently I couldn't keep my mouth shut.
She glared at me, taking a threatening step towards me and I stood to my tallest height, a low growl leaving me. "Don't take this lightly Leah. You brought me here, you called me back. I'm here. But I don't want to be. I wasn't supposed to return to earth for decades, nearly a century from now. Would you like to know what my first order was?" she gave me another cruel smile, "killing you."
I tensed and then when I was just about to smack that stupid smirk off of her face, someone grasped my arm. It was Brandon. He didn't look very pleased with the once again quickly escalating situation. "We don't know what's happened to her in hell. She's more unpredictable than ever. Let's not push our luck anymore then we already have, please?"
I glared at him, pulling away and then backing up a step, distancing myself from my even darker imprint.
"Then why the fuck are you still here Kira?" Bella snapped, getting angry herself.
Kira turned her cold gaze to her sister now. "I thought I answered that question."
"Yeah, yeah, your scared of Leah dying again, whatever the fuck that means, because the last time I checked, she's standing right here. She never died! So what? You're here to fight with us, because I think I speak for everyone when I say this, I don't want you here if this is who you are now. You have no love left. And you can say Darkling's aren't capable of love, but we are. Were family, we love each other. And I don't think you do. I can feel you, you know. You don't love anyone. Your hollow inside. And I don't want someone like that defending me. I don't trust this version of you."
What an inspiring speech, I thought rolling my eyes.
"Fine," she shrugged non-chalantly. "Go to war with hell and heaven on your own. Let's see how you fair. Because the last time I checked you don't know shit about those realms."
She strolled out, not a care in the world and I scowled at her retreating form. I agreed with Bella at some points. Kira was unpredictable, she doesn't want to be here, so why is she? I want Kira back, because this isn't her.
'Not anymore, I'm not', her bitter voice cut into my thoughts and I frowned.
I couldn't help myself. Despite everything, she was Kira and she was here. Somehow. 'Don't leave', I thought to her, getting no response. I rubbed at my face tiredly and then dropped down onto the couch.
"This is going to be a long few weeks. What are we going to do about the Volturi? They think we lied now, they know Kira's around," David asked. "And Jace, if he can come and go like that, then he might attack any one of us. And fuck, demons and angels? If they can pop in out of nowhere, well that's a big fucking problem. I don't know about you guys, but the last time I checked, we can't fucking teleport!"
"Would everyone quit saying fuck?" Bella asked in disgust.
Caleb snorted, "fuck, just about sums it up," Bella threw him an unimpressed look, "I hate to say it, but Kira's right. We don't know anything about demonic armies or heavens warriors. We barely know anything about our own species," Caleb pointed out.
We all shared uneasy looks.
"Let's handle everything one battle at a time. The Volturi will probably strike first. I think we should meet with the Pack and the Cullen's," Bella grimaced at Adrian's plan. "Sorry Bella, Leah has a demonic brand. That's not going to go over well. Were going to need to tell them something, the truth to some extent. We don't have a choice, they know were all the same, if they think were going to start attacking people they'll come after us."
I stood up, leaving the room. "I'm going to go to the pack. Tell them to meet in the clearing in half an hour."
"I'll go with you," Caleb said, standing.
-xxxxx-
Things did not go well when we returned to Sam and Emily's place. They were all in a panic. Kira took out the entire pack. It didn't sit well with them. "Leah, Caleb, you better start talking. The Elders have spoken, they want us to take Kira to them," Emily said coldly.
'They could try', Kira seemed to be enjoying this. I didn't like this new connection. How come she could see and hear everything, and I couldn't? 'Because you're not trying.'
"I don't know what to tell you, Kira's different, her entire family is, Bella included. They can tell you what's going on tonight. We have bigger problems then the packs bruised ego," I said, exhaustion beginning to settle in me. This was not how I expected the night to go. Or day for that matter.
"I order you to tell us what Kira is," Sam said, towering over me. I could just see Kira narrowing her eyes at him. Power radiated off him, as well as his authority over me and yet I felt no compulsion to answer his question.
I moved my shirt to the side, showing them the brand. "Kira did this, it was a spell, you can't control me, Sam. Your not my alpha anymore." I shrugged.
"Kira's your alpha now?" Jake asked, confused.
"No, she isn't a wolf," 'I could bite if your into that sort of thing,' Kira's mocking voice said to me.
"She's not a wolf," I said again, with more emphasis. "But the brand changes things. Were connected differently now, it makes the imprint stronger. I can hear her thoughts, it's," 'oh come on, you love
hearing my voice all the time', "annoying."
"Just come to the clearing, Adrian will tell you whatever you want to know there," 'I doubt that'.
Everyone was waiting for us at the training clearing, Kira wasn't there, but I hadn't expected her to be.
She'd also gone silent on the way here. "Is Kira staying in town?" Adrian asked, probably because of Bella's harsh words earlier.
'Only if you want me to wolf girl', she said to me. "I guess so," I said to both of them, uncertainty filling me.
"What are you?" Carlisle and Sam asked almost simultaneously.
Edward was holding Bella, who had this remorseful look on her face. I'd forgotten she hadn't spoken to the Cullen's in a while. 'Bella took out the blonde, huh? Good for her, she's a bitch.'
'And here I'd thought you two would get along,' I thought, mentally snorting. She chuckled. It was hard to focus on everything around me when I had voices in my head. 'Welcome to my world.'
Adrian chose his words carefully. "We are a rarity in this world, because part of our souls are not born from this realm. There are a handful of people like us in the world, and even fewer of us that can open up this part of ourselves. It's usually triggered by negative emotion."
"Your dangerous," Jasper said, "I can feel it, Kira's even worse than before. I've never felt anything like it. Even Jace isn't nearly as much of a threat as she is."
Adrian nodded slowly and I wondered if he was about to tell them about what happened to her. 'It's none of their business.'
"When Kira died-," I cut him off.
"She said it's none of their business what happened to her," I said quickly, and the Cullen's scowled, the pack glared.
"She's different now, but she's here to help," he said with conviction. "We have bigger problems then Kira's constantly worsening attitude." 'Oh fuck you Adrian! Let's see him die and not get all fucked in the head about it!' I was starting to get a headache.
Adrian continued oblivious to Kiras mental hissy fit. 'I am not having a hissy fit!'
"Bella and Kira have informed us that in two weeks time, an army from heaven will be coming to Forks to eradicate myself and the others, Bella included. And if Kira dies, Leah dies. Because of Leah's bond to the pack, I'm not sure what would happen in the event of her death, perhaps nothing, perhaps not," that hadn't occurred to me. Kira said nothing to that.
Adrian continued, "I don't know where you stand on protecting one another, but that's our greatest threat. I get the impression that if the war with the angels doesn't destroy Forks, the demonic army will. The demon army is being sent to take out Leah and everyone Kira had any type of relationship with. Demons have no care for media attention, nor do they care for the living of innocents. The entire area will be destroyed."
"Why?" Carlisle asked suspiciously.
"Because of her return. Kira wasn't supposed to be here. Because of this, it upset many beings and plans have been set into motion."
"What if Kira returned to wherever she was?" Paul asked.
"It's not that simple. She wasn't supposed to come here at all. It's too late for that. Things have been set into motion. It can't be changed. Kira has knowledge about the other realms, knowledge we don't have. We'll need her to survive this. It's up to you whether you intend to help us or not. But I get the impression Forks and La Push and the surrounding area will not go untouched. If not by one war, then the other."
Everyone went silent for a moment and finally Carlisle said, "the Volturi are also still around Forks. You're saying that now we have three battles on our hands?"
Sam seemed to have realized something, "were not all going to survive this, are we?"
I wasn't sure he was asking, regardless, no one answered. He already knew the answer. People were going to die, our days were numbered.
'I wont let anyone hurt you,' Kira whispered in my mind.
'But everyone I care for?'
'I cannot perform miracles, you and my family are my top concern.'
Her response crushed me. She would save us, despite the devastation all of the losses would cause.
And she didn't care.
I was going to lose everyone, but what I kept wondering, was Kira already lost to me?
-xxxxx-
When you look at yourself, are you a man
Or a monster?
-xxxxx-
Kira POV
I sat in an unknown apartment, the light circuits had blown ages ago as I took out my rage upon the two story building. Blood covered me from head to toe, as well as all across the walls. It was like a bomb had gone off in the room. How did I know this with no light? I could smell it everywhere. It surrounded me, quenched me, gave me a sick satisfaction that if it weren't for the fact that I was sated would've sent me hurdling off the edge and into another rampage.
I was leaning forward, my elbows pressed to my knees as I held my hands together, the red stickiness beginning to stain my skin. It was like their souls were etching into my skin, tainting it for those like me to see. To sense. I inhaled deeply, closing my eyes as the scent of pain filtered in and sent a wave of calmness over me, easing away my tension again.
I felt his energy before I heard or smelt him. A clap sounded to my left and Jace's drawl filled the room, "bet that felt good."
"You have no idea," a smile tugged at my lips, the echoes of their screams still rang in my head. It was peaceful in the most damning way. I loved it.
"You can still come home, I can fix this, I can convince Samael you didn't know what you were doing," Jace said.
"And see into both our minds the lies?" I asked shaking my head. I leaned back, wiping my bloody palms onto my pants. "You're a fool if you think that'll work. He's a legionnaire, it took him less than a minute to find her in my mind, it'll take even less to realize we're lying."
"Why are you here, Kira?"
I didn't say anything right away before I stood and looked at him. Really and truly looked at him, letting him see the agony and fear in me. "Is this real Jace?"
He didn't understand me right away, but when it dawned on him what was happening, he backed up a step in disbelief. "Kira, this isn't a game, don't tell me-," I cut him off.
"Is this real? Because I have no fucking clue what is and isn't real anymore! I don't know if it's you or a vision of you! I don't know if this is earth of if it's another dream! I don't know what's real anymore!"
He stared at me, gaping like a fish, and my shoulders slumped, "I don't know what's real. I don't know how to react to anything, I don't know what he wants from me. Does he want me to kill her, because I've done it before! I've done it a hundred times and it's made no difference. I always end up back there-
With him, with you."
Without my brothers and sister.
Without Leah.
Alone.
So terribly alone.
I dropped back onto the couch and cradled my head in my hands as images swirled of Leah dying in my arms or too far from my grasp that I couldn't stop the hallucinations from consuming me. Jace could've dragged me back to hell, I was completely immobile now.
-xxxxx-
I was surrounded by fire.It was engulfing me so quickly that even my screams and cries for mercy wereswallowed up. My skin bubbled and fell apart as the heat seared me from the inside out. Smoke and pain filled my throat and lungs and I began to convulse as finally the scorch reached my brain. And I died.Only, I didn't.I was a shadow, energy, nothing. I had no form, I was transparent and mute. Nothing could see me or hear me, and yet, I was here.I watched her for years. She could not feel my touch, no matter how often I tried, she felt nothing, saw nothing. So I watched, and yearned for something I could never have again.Her name was Leah. She was beautiful, an angel. She was my angel. Her dark brown eyes and adorable smile that made my non-beating heart skip. I listened to her off-key singing when she thought no one listened, watched her dance when she thought no one saw. With each day I fell harder. Until one day, I wasn't the only one falling.She was leaving for work, like she did every day, and as she pulled on her coat, I watched as she paused and rubbed her back absently. I was sitting on the staircase when her breathing picked up. My angel had been in pain more and more lately. I assumed it was her job, perhaps it was too much on her. I spokeher name, but she heard nothing and I stood up as she began to sway. Panic seized me as I rushed to catch her as she collapsed and she fell against the wall. I said her name again and shouted for help, kneeling next to her, touching her, trying to move her and coax her awake.She didn't wake and I struggled to call out for help as despair and uselessness filled me."Leah? The door is-," her mom came around the corner and rushed for Leah's side, her hand going through my own and then she was calling for her husband, "call an ambulance!"It felt like a millennium before the paramedics arrived and I paced back and forth, trying to think of what could be causing this. But I wasn't a doctor, in fact, I had no knowledge of modern illness or medicine. I had died hundreds of years ago. I climbed into the ambulance, putting my hand over Leah's as they began taking her vitals again.When she reached emerge I didn't understand any of the terms the doctors or nurses were using. All I could do was stand back and watch as they used machines and did tests on my angel. She didn't wake for days. When she did, it would be to a darker world.I sat on Leah's bed, trying to comfort her as the doctors gave her the news, her family sitting around the room giving her their love.It didn't matter, nothing did."Cancer," they had called it.It was killing her, there was no cure for the kind she had, I couldn't pronounce the kind she had. The few that survived the treatment were far and few. They said it was too far along, stage four.I watched her eyes glaze over and felt tears slide down my cheeks as she took shallow breaths, and closed herself off from the world."It's the shock, it'll pass," the doctors said to her family, but I knew the truth. It would never pass. She was being robbed of her life. And I couldn't even comfort her. She couldn't even see me. "Give her time to process."She weakened, withered away before my eyes. It was fast and yet it lasted an eternity. Hopelessness overtook me with each day that she worsened. It was weeks, but those weeks felt like decades. I watched as she took her last breath, cried as they put her into the ground. And I screamed and screamed to bring her back for years afterwards. Nobody answered me, nobody heard me.I was on earth.She was in heaven.I was ghost.She was an angel.
-xxxxx-
I took a stuttering breath and felt salt on my lips as I struggled to control the despair churning within me.
I stood, ragged breaths leaving me, I lifted a lamp, throwing it across the room and continued to destroy everything within reach as I fought with every inch of my being too tame my emotions.
Rage. Pain. Heartbreak.
It threatened to overtake me. I couldn't catch my breath as more tears fell and clouded my sight. I collapsed in a haze and a scream tore from me. I couldn't take much more of this.
How much longer would it be before the hallucinations stopped?
I gazed around me, falling against the wall. I barely remembered where I was, where had Jace gone?
This would've been the perfect chance for him to drag me back to hell, mid-memory. I was basically comatose when it happened, it would be my greatest weakness, unless you counted my Achilles heel.
Was this reality?
Or another nightmare?
-xxxxx-
Leah POV
I was running. I didn't know why I was running. I just was. Moving as quickly as I could as the need to be somewhere consumed me. It was pushing me, the adrenaline surging through me. I was racing down a street, cobblestone beneath my feet. Overhead I could see smoke and hear gunfire. Explosions in the distance.I glanced to my right, passing another store and saw the red hair tied in a bun above my head, the porcelain skin, the dark blue eyes. I was Kira. But how? I kept catching glances of her in the storewindows, but couldn't make myself stop. That's when it became clear to me. I wasn't Kira. I was seeing through Kira's mind. This was her dream. And yet, it felt like it was me. It was as if I was Kira. Everything felt like it was me, like something I would feel and still, I couldn't control anything. I was trapped in her mind.I looked down, seeing the strange dress clothing me. What was I wearing? It looked like something you'd see a girl my age wearing decades ago, in Germany. I tilted my head and then cried out as gunfire rained on me. I hit the ground, and then saw an old fashioned army truck head my way. They were pointing at me, I felt my eyes widen as it dawned on me what I was seeing. They had swastika's on their arms. Eachand every one of them. "Oh my god," they shot at me, I scrambled up, my arm getting grazed and I rushed down the street as the urgency hit me again.I needed to get home. She was at home, no one to protect them, no one to warn them. My arm burned, but I paid it no mind as I rushed through the streets as quickly as possible, avoiding the Nazi's as best as I could, getting shot at twice in the process.When I finally reached my street, I was met with the sound of gunfire and screams. "Leah," I cried out, wait, no, Kira cried out.In the yard were a dozen Nazi's, and lined up on their knees, their hands behind their heads were my family. I reeled at the sight of myself, dirty and bleeding, kneeling on the ground with my brother and mother on both sides. They heard Kira's cry immediately and each aimed a gun at her. She ran forward,and a single shot cracked through the air. I felt the impact instantly. It sent me sprawling backward, and I screamed. It was like I'd never endured pain before. I realized then. I was human. This version of Kira was human, therefore her endurance was that of a normal persons.I felt tears well in my eyes as the pain caused me to practically see white and I struggled to sit up. Leah's eyes met my own, "no, please," I was speaking German. "Please, she hasn't done anything," she begged and managed to stand, as Leah gave us a watery smile, "I love you."The uniformed soldier raised his arm, pointing the gun at her head and I screamed as the shot rang through the air. Leah fell backwards, blood staining her shirt. I screamed as pain tore through me like I'd never felt before. It ripped me apart as if I was standing in the middle of a tornado. It stripped me bare and scorched every part of me so deeply I didn't know where the pieces of my soul went.The sky stared down at me, the stars shining brightly for such a dark night. Then someone stood over me, a gun aimed for my head. I closed my eyes but I didn't feel the impact.
I flew forward, a scream leaving me as I pulled the blankets to my chest, trying to bury the pain, trying to keep it from staying.
"Oh god," I was dragging in empty breaths as I hyperventilated and tears blurred my vision as I sobbed, clutching my chest so hard I drew blood.
The light went on and Bella and Adrian were there, guns out and ready to shoot. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't feel anything except that tearing. The pain was still there. How could it still be there? "I can't-, make it stop," I cried out, I staggered out of the bed, dropping to the ground. I didn't know what I intended to do, but I needed to do something. Black spots filled my vision and a sob broke from me and I screamed again, why wont it stop? "Please god, make it stop," Bella grabbed my arms, staring into my eyes, uncertain.
"I don't know what what's wrong with her," she muttered, as I continued to hyperventilate and sob. I was going to pass out if I couldn't calm down, but I couldn't stop. This pain, this gut-wrenching pain wouldn't leave me. A strange look filled her gaze, "it's almost as if Kira had died again."
I gasped, and then my eyes went to the doorway before they were even there. "Get out," it was Kira.
Her eyes were dark and cold, I could feel her fury from her.
"Did you-," she took a threatening step forward as Bella began to accuse her.
"I said, get out," she said through clenched teeth. All the while I was having a nervous breakdown.
They shared looks and then she had crossed the room, grabbed Bella and shoved her into Adrian's arms.
She raised a gun, letting off a single shot right above their heads. Bella blinked and Adrian's eyes darkened at the threat.
"Get out!" she roared.
She took a step towards them again, and I let out a whimper as the pain began to drown me again.
Adrian looked me over a moment and then they were gone, the door slamming behind them.
Kira turned slowly, giving me a once-over. She took a step towards me, and I flinched. I don't know how, but I just knew, she had somehow done this. This was her fault.
She faltered, as if hearing my thoughts. "It's alright Leah, I don't mean to hurt you," she took another slow step towards me and I couldn't help but try to shy away. She didn't stop though, she knelt in front of me and as her eyes met mine, I watched them ink over. Her jaw clenched and unclenched.
I swallowed thickly, and she reached forward, brushing the hair from my face. "I need you to take a deep breath, okay? Just try and take a deep breath," she said calmly.
"Wh-what's happening to me?" I whispered, struggling to do as she said.
She didn't answer, "just focus on breathing, okay? I know it hurts, but you need to calm down and breathe. It's not real. The pain you're feeling. It isn't real. You hear me? It's not real," she kept saying it over and over again.
After several minutes of staring into her darkened eyes, I got lost in them. The color of her skin, the curves of her face, the shape of her lips. I let myself get lost in her beauty.
She lifted me up and carried me over to the bathroom. The light went on and she set me on the ledge of the bathtub. "What are you doing?" I asked, still a little breathless.
"Taking a shower," she said, as if it were obvious. Then I noticed she was covered in blood. I watched her test the water, staining it briefly. She glanced at me and her expression hardened at seeing my horrified and disgusted one.
"You killed someone," I whispered. She said nothing and began taking her clothing off. I felt my breath catch as I realized she really was drenched in it, her clothes, her skin, it was all red. She stepped under the water, and became red and pink as it touched her, rivers sliding down her body. I didn't know how to feel about what I was seeing.
"I kill people Leah, you've always known this," she said, rinsing her hair out. I shuddered, closing my eyes and then opened them quickly as I saw my own dead ones staring back at me.
I looked anywhere but at the shower. And found the mirror. I stared at myself, sweat lined my face and chest, my shirt clung to me. 'Look at me', I glanced at her, she was watching me, her eyes having returned to normal.
'My heart hurts.' She nodded slightly.
'It will for a while, if you'll let me, I can help,' she said cautiously.
'How could you possibly help, how will this pain ever go away, I feel as though you died again, twice now, I've suffered this way, and I still haven't recovered from losing you the first time, how will I ever feel normal after feeling this way twice?'
How could pain like this ever go away? It felt like I had been torn apart from the inside out, I felt like my soul had shredded to pieces and then crushed into dust so that it could never be whole again.
I felt wrecked.
It was as though Kira had died all over again, even though logically, my eyes and brain told me she stood right before me. Even though in the dream, I was the one that died, not Kira. Yet, this pain, it was as though my soul mate had died once more. Even staring at her now, knowing I could reach out and touch her and she'd be real, I still felt so nauseatingly broken.
For a moment, I saw Kira again. She was my Kira, for less than a minute.
Her eyes flashed, her shoulders slumping as if the fight was leaving her. No, it wasn't her energy fading, it was my thoughts. She could sense or hear how I feel, no, 'feel' wasn't the proper word for this kind of devastation. There wasn't a word out there that could describe how I feel right now.
Her eyes darkened, becoming bleak and flat as my thoughts continued to swirl. I made no effort to hide them from her, not right now. I wanted her to know I feel, how I felt when I lost her, maybe then she would understand how much I loved her. Maybe then she would love me again.
And just like that, like the flip of a switch, her eyes became cold and I watched the wall slam down in them. And she was my demon lover once more.
My eyes watered, and I asked again, this time physically speaking instead of mentally, though my voice was no more than agonized whisper, "how could you possibly help? When all you've done since you got back, was try to hurt me?"
She held my gaze a moment, searching mine for something, or maybe she was trying to speak to me with her eyes. I didn't care, all I cared about right now was my own suffering. I repeated my words, voice shaking and hitching as I tried to keep the sob in around the lump in my throat. "You aren't even Kira right now, how would you help me? How could a cold-hearted demon console a broken hearted wolf?"
She smiled crookedly now, looking a little more like my Kira, "Leah, I'm no ordinary demon and you aren't an ordinary wolf."
"You-," my voice broke as the pain in my chest started to grow again and her smile faded as she sensed it, I couldn't speak, I could barely breathe so I spoke mentally, 'You aren't answering my question, you don't know how do you? How can you help me?' Because I needed help and I needed her, badly. If the demonic version of Kira thought she could help me- she did have all of her memories and was essentially Dark Kira-then right now, I would take it.
'Like this', she reached for me, pulling me into a stand and suddenly I was drenched and pressed against the wall of the shower. I gasped as the ice cold shower sprayed over me, shocking me and I surged forward to get out.
Kira blocked my escape, holding her arms out a little, the only light coming from the bedroom through the half closed door. She spoke calmly over my hyperventilating and struggling to get free of the icy water, "what do you feel, Leah?"
I stuttered, "K-Kira, le-et me outttt, pl-please!"
"Leah, what do you feel?" she asked again, still calm and rational. What was rational about this? Isnt she freezing?!
"Let me out!" I shouted without stuttering this time, due to my growing anger.
She didn't answer and I tried to shove past her. She swiftly yanked my hands together, clutching them in one hand above my head and used her upper body to press me against the wall of the shower. I felt my breathing quicken as I struggled to get free.
My face, arms and chest had started to go numb from the water though, so I was weaker for the moment. The numbness was growing and with it, a tremor began from my spine causing me to shake against her, the temperature along with the trembling was making my muscles ache.
As an angry growl left me, I knew the agitation would start to heat me along with my fight against her.
Hopefully, in a minute, I would be strong enough to get free. I kept pulling and wiggling, trying to get free but it felt futile.
Kira didn't even look bothered with the fact that she was now soaked in water that was no warmer than the ocean we lived by. My anger was growing at her calmness.
"What do you feel, Leah? Answer the question and maybe I'll let you go or we can stand here all night until you do answer," she said in a bored tone.
I snapped, roaring furiously, "Screw you, you sadistic bitch, let me out! I hate you, you only ever torture me! I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!"
"Tell me how you feel, not how much you hate me," she snapped, glaring at me now. No longer the calm smug bitch happily torturing me, her favourite fucking past time.
More anger burned in me, "I'm angry! You are pissing me off," I finally shouted, the stuttering came back through my raging. "You're f-freezing me, you're making me weak and helpless on purpose and I despise bo-both of those things and you know that but y-you're doing it anyways! You don't c-c-care about me, you're doing it b-because you enjoy wa-watching me suffer even m-m-more now!"
She held my gaze, betraying no emotion, like usual since Jace had made her a demon and after staring at me a moment, she shifted slightly and then the water began warming up. Slowly, my tense, sore muscles started to shake a little bit more because of the conflicting temperatures throughout my body.
But it calmed and a relieved moan left me and I sagged against the wall of the shower.
"Let me go Kira," she was still holding my hands above my head.
"I thought you wanted my help," she said coyly now.
"You didn't help me, you-," she arched an eyebrow, tilting her head as I cut off and realized, that hole in my chest, the pain in my heart, it had faded quite a bit. It was still very present, but it wasnt consuming me. She had manipulated my emotions, making me angry with her, so that I wasn't so upset about feeling like I'd lost her.
"Let go of me."
'You said if you could, you would reach out and touch me to assure yourself I hadn't died once more,' her voice was quiet and tinged a little sad now. She was a demon now, demons don't get sad, she was faking for some reason. Her eyebrows furrowed, 'Don't you want me to touch you?'
"No, I don't," I snapped. She wasn't wearing a bra and neither was I, I could see her hardening nipples through her shirt and knew mine were the same. Our shirts were soaked, and I had been asleep so I had nothing on but the loose blue cropped tank top and a black thong.
A slight hiss escaped her lips as she pressed her body flush against mine.
Oh god, she felt incredible, the feel of her body after so long, even just through our clothing, a moan left me and I tried to press into her more fully, wanting to feel her everywhere. I wanted to be consumed by her, to touch her so deeply and completely that she would feel me forever no matter where either of us were.
I watched her blue eyes brighten and then I saw the tips of incisors elongating through her parted lips. I was reminded of who she was now and my heart started to ache for a different reason. She paused, once again sensing the change inside of me. 'Let me go Kira,' my thoughts were flat and void.
"No."
"You said-," she cut me off, "I said maybe, now I don't want to let you go. A second ago, you didn't want me to, either."
"Not anymore, let go of my hands, thank you for helping me, truly, I appreciate it. It must've been hard for one of your kind to show any kind of compassion, let alone to someone you hate," my voice was bitter and angry now. "But now I want you to let go of me," I tried to sound calm and stern at the end, but it came out breathless.
She smirked at me, leaning in a little and I felt her breath tickle my skin as she spoke softly, "no." Her fingers began sliding up the inside of my shirt, inching up my sides slowly and at first I did nothing but breathe, enjoying the teasing touch caressing me. It wasn't until her hand moved towards my breast that I started to struggle again. But I couldn't help the reaction I had and i quickly stopped trying to pull free of her grip.
"Kira," I gasped out, unsure of what would follow, but needing, needing something. Needing her to stop, needing her to continue. Needing to hear her say my name and see her smile at me and only me, to have her embrace me and kiss me once more and most of all, needing her love, needing her to love me in some capacity just like she used to, even just once, to give me hope for the future, our future.
Right now, I needed her.
Another moan left me as she cupped my breast briefly, a ghostly linger over the hardened bud there, her touch was setting me on fire, goose bumps covered my body and my heart was erratic, I felt like I was naked and exposed and being touched in the most intimate of places. And she'd barely touched me at all.
She was setting me on fire, I gasped as her fingers were suddenly slipping passed the waistband on my shorts. "Wait, wait," I blurted out, panic rising at the thought of being intimate with a demon, even one that wore my lovers face. I wasn't ready, or was i? I didn't know, but if the growing, tightening ache inside of my gut was any indication, I was ready to be with her physically. Mentally and emotionally, I wanted Kira, not her demon counterpart. "Stop, let go!" I pleaded.
She ignored me, even after hearing my thoughts and a groan left me as i tried to shift to the side. She pressed her body to mine again, holding me in place. More lust bloomed inside of me, this was getting out of hand, but she felt so good.
And then she was there, her hand sliding down past the small patch of hair to the tip of my clit and I froze beneath her. My eyes widened and I arched into her as her hand slid down over me and a single
finger slipping down along through my folds, just enough to feel how wet I had become.
"Oh god," I breathed, desperately wanting her to keep touching me. It wouldn't take much for me to reach that high point, not after how long it's been since I'd been with her.
It was the soft growl emanating from not me, but her, that had me looking back into her eyes, and I realized they were oiling over, which only seemed to happen when her emotions were getting out of hand. The demon was losing control and I had a feeling that was a bad thing.
"Kira, stop!" I struggled even more fiercely, and then cursed as the ache became a steady throb, "Kira you need to stop now. Now, Kira!" I squeezed my thighs together, forcing her to remove her hand.
Irritation filled me, now I was all worked up and got no release, great.
She leaned forward, cool lips kissed my neck and then her voice was in my head again. 'I could force you, you know. And I'm not above it. It's what you want. For some reason you need to justify being with me, I'm your imprint Leah, you don't need to justify anything you do with me in the dark, because were supposed to be together.'
And then she released me all at once, her touch was gone completely, leaving me cold and hollow as she backed away from me despite the warm water raining down on me and separating us.
Her expression was hard to read now, the wall was back up. "But that's not how I want you. I want you to want me as I am. To desire me so much it consumes your every thought. I don't want you to just want me, I want you to need me, as much as I need you."
My voice cracked when I spoke, "I always did. It was you that never needed me."
She smiled tiredly, "that's where you're wrong." She stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around her and running a hand through her dripping hair.
She met my gaze in the mirror, 'stay, you said you would help.'
She nodded once and then was leaving the room.
I leaned back against the shower and stared up at the ceiling. The pain had lessened, but it was still there, itching to get out. Kira had helped somehow. I didn't understand it. I didn't understand any of this anymore. My world had been flipped upside down. I was getting real tired of that happening.
I got dressed, going downstairs and listened to Adrian and Kira speak quietly in the kitchen. They were both drinking. It sounded like Adrian was trying to lecture Kira. "-don't care where you were, shoot at any of us again and I'll send you back myself."
I tried to keep the growl from escaping. I failed. Kira didn't even glance at me, Adrian glared at me to shut up. I just grabbed the bottle of vodka off the table and went back upstairs to the bedroom. Kira came in several minutes later. She set her gun on the nightstand and then stripped down and climbed into the bed.
I turned onto my side to face her, and she stared up at the ceiling. 'What are you?' I asked her. She wasn't the Kira I remembered. But sometimes her behaviour reminded me of the girl she used to be.
'I'm exactly that,' she replied. 'I'm a shadow of the Kira you remember. Sometimes I'm her, but mostly, I'm not. Sometimes I will love you,' she admitted. And then coldly, 'but most days I'll hate you.'
I swallowed, the pain intensifying as my own hurt merged with it. How could it be real and not?
"Do you hate me right now?" I whispered. I don't think I wanted to be with her when she would hate me. It would be worse than anything I'd ever experienced.
She turned to me, sighing heavily. "No, Leah. I don't."
"What happened to me earlier?"
Her expression closed off. Apparently this was a touchy subject, which kind of irritated me considering I was the one hurting because of it. Not her. "Wrong again."
I stared her down, demanding answers. "What you experienced, what you saw and felt. That was what was happening within my own mind. You were asleep, I must've pulled you in accidentally. I apologize. I didn't know that would happen."
I frowned, "that's why it was your body."
She nodded slightly. "Yes. The brand, our mental connection. It's the reason why it all happened."
I didn't speak for a few minutes, processing this new information. Then I realized something. "That's why you're here right now. I'm feeling what you're feeling. The only way to make it go away is if you feel better and because of what you dreamt, I make you feel better?"
She didn't need to confirm or try to deny it. I knew it was the truth. "is was so real, every detail and sensation. You said you saw me die, is that what you meant?"
Her eyes inked over again and I knew I'd just crossed some sort of line. I pushed on anyways. "You can't say things like that, and then for me to experience that kind of pain, that kind of tragedy without explaining yourself Kira."
She swallowed thickly and sat up, turning away from me. "It wasn't exactly a dream Leah. I was in hell, remember?" how could I forget? She seemed to be damaged beyond repair now. I wasn't sure where she was going with this, but she heard my mental 'yes'.
"I was trained to withstand torture. They didn't want to have to break me without having to. But my love for you was too strong, when torture didn't work as a punishment-," punishment? "Punishment for visiting you," I flinched. "Samael entered my mind, and he found my love for you and he used it against me."
I listened to the anguish in her voice, her helplessness. "He was relentless. I wasn't strong enough to beat him and each time he created those delusions I lost sense of myself more and more. I broke Leah. Time and time and time again. Without a second to breathe. I've seen and felt things I never thought I would feel. It-," she shuddered. "It destroyed me. Every part of me tainted. Every breath I take, poisoned. To the point where I don't know what is real and what isn't."
I swallowed back the tears, trying my hardest not to fall apart at her words. They were wrecking me. For months, no time was different in hell, for years she had suffered, and we had gone on with everyday life.
If only I had done something, if only I had realized what she had been trying to tell me.
"You don't know if I'm real?" I whispered in horror.
That's why she was acting so recklessly, she wasn't being reckless, she was scared. Scared of what would happen if all of us weren't real. I reached forward, touching her hand and she grimaced. I turned her to face me, seeing her inky eyes and tried not to grimace at the sight of them. "You still don't know if my touch is real? If I'm real?"
She said nothing, staring at me with a hollowed expression. She looked how I felt. Gutted. I pressed my lips to hers, "I am real Kira, let me show you," I pressed my lips more firmly to hers and without breaking contact I took her by surprise and flipped her onto her back. "Let me show you just how real I am."
I kissed her again, pressing my body into hers. I would take it, even if it was just moments of the Kira I loved. I would take it, and I would try and bring her back to me any way I could. And this seemed like the best way to do it. If she feels my love, maybe she'll remember hers.
Her own kiss was hesitant, she sensed in my mind what I wanted, what I was doing. She wasn't stopping me. Did she want to love me again?
Nipping at her bottom lip and she sucked in a surprised breath and I took the opportunity to deepen the kiss. She moaned, and I brought my hands up through her hair. 'Leah, I'm still dangerous-,' I cut her off.
'Do you want to hurt me?'
'No.'
'Do you want to kill me?'
'No.'
'Then don't fight me. Just kiss me.'
Her voice somehow seemed quiet in my mind. 'Okay.'
-xxxxx-
It's so hard to tell which side you're on
One day is Hell, the next day is the dawn
The lines are blurred, you keep rubbing your eyes
The tables turn, now it's time to survive
-xxxxx-
When I woke up in the morning, I was alone. Although, I shouldn't have been so surprised, Kira was crazy bi-polar on a good day. 'I heard that.'
I grinned to myself and climbed out of the bed, pulling on my clothes from the floor and dressing. As I'd finished tugging the tank top on the door opened and Bella walked in. "Come on, we all need to talk."
"Oh fantastic, cause the last family meeting went so well," I said with a long suffering sigh.
'Wont be so bad, get your ass down here,' Kira said unimpressed. I rolled my eyes again. Just perfect, now I needed to learn to block out yet another mental connection.
As I got downstairs everyone was drinking coffee in the living room, the news on silent. I got myself my own coffee and then sat down next Bella. No one spoke at first.
I snorted under my breath, "we were all jumping at the opportunity to talk to her when she was dead and now that's she alive no one is saying anything. Figures."
They all shot me a look.
Kira just sighed, and then went to stand by the window. She seemed to like windows a lot now.
"So I guess we all came to the same conclusion last night. Whatever we did, somehow managed to pull Kira back to earth," Adrian said thoughtfully. He looked slightly bewildered and thrown as he added, "from hell."
"But it didn't say anything like that, it said communicating with the dead," I protested. "That cannot be our fault."
"It is," Kira said coldly. "You should've left it alone. Were all going to die now, and then were going to end up in hell and the king of hell himself is going to oversee our personal torture. Because that is what happens when you fuck with the dead."
"Well, gee, your welcome," Bella shot at her.
"You know, what I recall when you used to come back is you seemed to miss all of us pretty friggin badly," I said scowling at her.
"Doesn't mean I should've come back," she snapped. "Of course I missed you for a while, it was only natural. They flushed that out of my system pretty quickly."
"Stop it, both of you," David snapped. Everyone now looked frustrated. Great, this was going well.
What a fucking start to the day.
"That still doesn't explain how we went from communication to resurrection," Caleb pointed out after a few minutes of silence.
"You used my connection with Leah to summon me, not communicate with me. When you do rituals of any kind it is always about the intent. You didn't intend to communicate with me, at least, Leah didn't. And since she was the center of it, the power source and connection, it changed. And your blood, all of your blood has power in it. Power that you gave her access to. She used it, however briefly and made her ability to connect to me stronger. But in pulling me back, she fractured the imprint, which is when the angels intervened and forced me to Brand her. They needed me to be bound to Leah, if I wasn't, well let's just say, I wouldn't be standing against Hell's army right now, I would be leading it. Like I was fucking meant to."
"Wow, can you believe it's only been fourteen hours since we did that ritual?" Caleb asked, shaking his head. "A lot's happened since last night."
"None of it good, either. We have three wars on our hands now," Brandon blew out a heavy tired sigh.
-xxxxx-
When you look at yourself, are you a man
Or a monster?
-xxxxx-
Kira POV
"Three wars," Adrian rubbed at his face. I eyed him down, seeing the dark circles under his eyes, pale features and the tense way he stood. He hadn't slept last night.
I opened my mouth before I could stop myself, "why didn't you sleep last night?"
Everyone turned to me, and then followed my gaze to my now scowling eldest brother. "Who cares if he slept or not?" Leah asked confused.
"I'm curious," Adrian held my gaze as his became hooded, a little angry as well. "Adrian never loses sleep, never lost a second of it when I lost my mind because of Leah, not for anything and yet, he didn't sleep at all last night. I'm wondering why."
"Kira," Bella spoke softly, I glanced at her pitying expression, "Adrian has hardly slept since you died."
"But I'm not dead anymore," I pointed out, "I'm not surprised he lost sleep after I died. I want to know why he didn't sleep after I came back."
"I think it'll make more than a day or two for it to truly sink in that your back Kira," Brandon said thickly.
I looked at all of their expressions, the pain etched in them, the bleakness in their eyes.
I blinked, not understanding and Adrian spoke, like I was an idiot for not getting it. Maybe I was. Being in tune with my emotions was never my forte. "I stayed up all night in case Jace or Samael came to take you away from us again. You were all wrapped up in Leah last night, you get distracted when your with her and your too at peace when you sleep with her. You never would've woken up if someone had snuck in."
I didn't want to say it, but it needed to be said. "If Jace or Samael come for me, stay out of their fucking way," I said, irritated with them. They all gave me disbelieving looks. "I'm not joking. Samael is a legionnaire. Jace is a full-blown demon now, so am I. You can't stop them and they will kill you in a heartbeat if you get in their way. Besides, I'm bound to Leah now, I'm tethered to earth. If they want to keep me in hell, they have to kill her first."
"Speaking of, how can we stop them? Any of them?" Bella asked, before another argument started, cause it looked like Leah was up for another yelling match with me.
I perched on the window sill, thinking. "Well, can you handle the Volturi without me?" I asked them.
"They brought an army last time. We managed to hold them at bay, but they'll come back with more, and Gabriel is with them, I think he's a demon too," Bella explained what happened when the Volturi and Gabriel attacked them. How he bragged about seeing me after I'd been punished, which, I was not happy about.
He'd seen me at my weakest and threw it in their faces, I was looking forward to getting my hands on him.
"Gabriel was in hell," I said frowning, "but, the doors were closed, there's no way to return even in the dreamscape, they locked the doors because of me, all of them. That's impossible, th-," it hit me and I grinned now. "I see what happening. There's a rogue demon rebelling against my father, Gabriel wouldn't be strong enough to create a door, only a legionnaire can. There are four of them, one of them must've released him to earth to hunt you guys down."
I looked back outside, "Okay, the angels aren't an issue," I said thinking out loud. "As long as I've returned to hell before the time is up, which to be honest, isn't much," I would have to buy us more time.
But that meant contacting them again, I shuddered at the thought. "The angels will back off and return to their cloud sitting as soon as I'm dead. But I'm not going anywhere until my father and the Volturi have been dealt with."
"So two armies to deal with? What do we do first?" Brandon asked, "we should deal with the Volturi first, their already here and we can take the fight to them."
"We know how to kill vampires, how the fuck are we going to kill an army of demons more powerful then all of us?" Leah said irritably.
"You don't, I need to kill Samael, none of us are strong enough to do it, hell, I'm not even strong enough. But I'm the best shot we've got, once he's been destroyed, the demon army will fall apart without their leader to unite and control them. Samael controlled most of hell and the demonic army follows him out of fear, not loyalty." I needed to kill Samael, somehow, my mind added. He's so much more powerful then I am, I had no idea where to begin. I needed to find a weakness somehow. Damn, I hated doing research.
"What about Jace?" Adrian finally asked, voice hardening in anger. "Where does he fit into all of this?"
Everyone looked at me, my edgy expression, and Brandon came up to me, "he really did do it, didn't he?"
I glanced back at him, the anger and pain in his eyes again. I was causing a lot of that apparently. "He really killed you?"
"He was ordered to," my voice turned to ice, and I looked away, forcing the memory to bury itself before it dragged me back down into despair. "That's all I know. Samael told him to kill me, because I was getting weaker for giving into my love for Leah. They couldn't risk losing me to her, so Jace killed me."
No one spoke for a long time after that. I think a part of them had been hoping it wasn't true. After about three minutes of morbid silence, Adrian looked at me with an ashen expression, full of guilt, "did it hurt, what he did to you?"
At first I didn't understand the question. Then I realized what he was asking, he was asking if I died painfully. He was asking me how I died, but I don't think he really wanted to know, I think he needed
too.
Thinking back to that field, when Jace smothered me and I suffocated, my heart ached at the memory. I hated seeing it so often, seeing his eyes staring down at me as the light faded from mine.
"The fight hurt," I admitted, "when he came to the room I was in bad shape. He told me I needed to come with him, or he'd kill Leah. I said no, and he moved us both to hell. He set four hellhounds on me when I ran. But, it's hell, and there was nowhere for me to go, I was too weak. When I evaded the hellhounds, he came after me. I got to a portal out when he reached me, I was so close. I was just a foot away from that portal, listening as Bella and Leah tried to figure out what was happening to me, but I never made it," I looked up, my gaze going to Leah's ashen one. "We fought. But I lost, and as I died, the last thing I heard, was Leah screaming out for me."
As she closed her eyes, the tears slid free and I shook my head sadly, "the fight hurt, dying didn't, not physically anyway. I'll be back later. Keep an eye on Leah and stay together, your stronger together," I said to Adrian, walking out of the living room and going for the door.
When I walked outside, I saw Edward leaning against the porch railing. He looked at me, just, looked at me. "Heard all that, huh?"
He nodded once, seeming to be at a loss for words. "I'm sorry."
I shrugged lazily, "got what I deserved in the end, didn't i?"
He gave me a look of pity now, "no one deserves to be murdered by someone they love as much as you loved your brother. I can't imagine what that must've done to your psyche alone."
I opened my mouth to say something sarcastic or witty, but nothing came out. He walked past me and entered the house in search of Bella.
And I climbed into my car ready to start some trouble.
-xxxxx-
You can't take back the damage you've done
Oh, you can hide but you can't run
No, you can't take back the damage you've done
Afraid of what you might become
-xxxxx-
Man or a monster- Sam Tinnesz