The bell on the diner's door jangled as Jay opened it for Kala. To her surprise, the place wasn't empty, but they were the only couple in tonight. Every other customer sat alone, and Kala felt a wave of sympathetic loneliness for them. With a large extended family like hers or Jay's, it was hard to remember that some people had no one on the holidays.
An icy trickle of realization ran down her spine. If not for the way things had changed this year, Jay would've been one of these loners. Kala knew the credit wasn't entirely hers, that Babs and Alfred would've conspired to bring him home by any means necessary. Her being here had just accelerated the process.
Thinking that made her slip her arm around his waist, leaning into his side, and Jay chuckled. He headed for a table toward the back, and the waitress Mary looked up from the coffeemaker to see them both. She smiled, and called out, "Well if it isn't my favorite rhyming couple, Jay and Kay. What the hell are you doing here on Christmas? You gotta have something better to do."
"Had to get away from my family for a little bit," Jay said, sitting down. "Just coffee, please, we've got plenty of leftovers at home."
"And I can't even look at eggs over easy without laughing," Kala said, getting a grin from Jay.
She bustled their way with two mugs and the fresh pot. "Eh, family. Mine are scattered all across the country; comes of marryin' military and movin' all the time. They managed to get together for Thanksgiving, at least."
"That's good," Jay told her.
Kala felt another twinge of conscience. She could fly to visit any of her family whenever she wanted. For a woman working as a waitress, how often could she afford airline tickets to see her far-flung family? "How come you have to work on a holiday?" Kala asked gently.
Mary chortled at her. "I don't have to. I choose to. The other girls have young kids, or they live at home with their family. Let 'em take it off. I'll come in and see my regulars, make some nice tips too. How come you didn't make this big galoot take you someplace better on a holiday?"
"Because we'd rather see you than get sniffed at in someplace that polishes their Michelin stars instead of topping up the coffee," Jay said instantly.
"Ain't you a charmer," Mary told him, and shook her head at both of them before going to refill the other patrons' coffees.
Jay leaned back in the booth with a sigh, smiling at Kala. "It's nice to get some peace and quiet. Lian thinks she can just walk in my room any time and tell me to stop being, and I quote, 'auntie social'. You take a kid on a stealth mission climbing the brickwork to steal cookies one time, and boom, you're the favorite."
That would have surprised her a few months ago, especially to hear him admit it out loud. Not now, though. He was right; some of these changes, some were his own. "Come on. You like it, though," Kala said fondly, smiling back. "Who would've thought, Hood is actually good with kids, if left to his own devices."
"Don't say that out loud at home, Roy'll set me up as babysitter and and actually try to make another move on Donna instead of dancing around it," he warned. "Those two still aren't all the way over each other. He's got his mind on raising Lian, though, I don't think he's actually looking for someone right now. If he was, though, Donna loves the kid."
Kala sipped her coffee, wondering if that was awkward for the Amazon. Donna and Roy had dated, and she obviously had feelings for Dick based on what Kala had noticed on her own and what Jay had told her when he spilled his guts on all his past relationships. And then of course there was Donna's actual history with Jay. "It's a wonder the whole house hasn't imploded. I can't believe you, Dick, Roy, and Donna are all being civil to each other."
"It's the known pacifying effect of having an Amazon around," Jay said, a mischievous gleam in his eye. "You don't fight over them, even Ms. I Liked Being a Housewife would take offense to that, and they are all highly-trained warriors. Tell me you're not still jealous of her at this point, K. I mean, Jesus, she's got nothin' on you."
That had her blinking in surprise, but she took a moment to pause and really think about it. Much to her own relief, most of the lingering discomfort she'd felt over Donna and Jay's past had settled, only causing an occasional twinge. And he didn't have to know about that little green-eyed detail, either. Just the last remnants of resentment fading. "No, no, I'm well over that," Kala demurred with an eye roll before returning his grin. "Earlier today would've solved it, if I hadn't already gotten past it."
He smirked wickedly. "Especially since she probably heard every bit of it."
Kala looked at him in sudden horror. That had been one possibility she had never even considered. Amazons did have enhanced senses, though not at the same level as Kryptonians. At the thought, she could feel her cheeks burning. "Oh my God. No. Just … no. Jay, that's awful!"
"She can stick her fingers in her ears and hum. You'll have to, if you stay there any length of time while Selina's in." Jay just shrugged.
That didn't help her blush at all. Other consequences she hadn't considered. Better to just stick to her outrage over Donna and her potentially overhearing them. "Just so we're clear, you'd better not have done that just to spite your ex. I will kick your ass," Kala warned with a pointedly-raised brow, ignoring that about Bruce and Selina.
Jay scoffed at her. "Yeah, no. I damn sure wasn't thinking of anyone else when I dragged you upstairs. If you thought I was, you weren't paying attention, and we need to stop by the bunker on the way home so I can prove it."
Smart man, Mr. Todd. Kala sat up a little, thoroughly mollified. "Far be it from me to turn down such a sincere offer."
"That's what I thought," he teased, sipping coffee.
They lingered a little, and Kala let herself relax, finally evening out after the crazy rush of the last few days. She and Jay didn't really do small talk that often, there usually wasn't a whole lot of time for it, but this wasn't the place to discuss business in depth. Especially not with it being as quiet as it was tonight; there was no white noise to drown them out. So she told Jay about Kristin learning the family secret, in roundabout terms. In return, he told her about various feline exploits over the past few days – and Jay rolled his eyes when she squeaked a little at the thought of the serval. Kala just shrugged. "Okay, I know they don't belong in people's homes, but servals are gorgeous."
"It's a real pretty animal, I'll admit that. I still can't figure out how damn Norway keeps getting into my room. Half the feral ones I haven't even seen since she turned them all loose. " Jay noticed his coffee was empty, and before he could even catch Mary's eye she was there to refill it.
"Cats are just like that," Kala said with a shrug, pausing to thank Mary. "My mom had a cat, Elroy, when she was younger. Eventually he ended up living with my Aunt Lucy because of Mom's completely-nuts schedule before us, back when she was single. It wasn't fair to him when she'd be gone 18 hours at a stretch. Most of the family has dogs now."
Jay stopped, looking at her thoughtfully. "You have a dog?"
"We … I'm never home enough, either. No pets for me right now, sadly. Mom and Dad have two, though. Bagel and Chewie; both female beagles. Daddy Richard and Lana have two dogs, too. And Jason's got three beagles from when Grandpa Ben lived there. They never moved back across the field when he passed away. Plus on any given day the neighbors' pack might turn up at their back door." Kala smiled, remembering the last time that had happened, and how Elise had groaned with a dozen hounds baying in excitement.
"It's kinda weird, thinking about you having pets," Jay admitted.
"My brother has a twenty-year-old iguana," Kala told him. "I had ferrets. They were just about as infamous as Gazeera. My first male was a cleavage diver, we found out."
Jay couldn't help laughing at that. "I never had pets. Somehow I can see you with ferrets. Weird weaselly things."
"Hey, they were cute and fun," she told him. "And they got into everything. Between them and the lizard, Mom wanted to kill Uncle Perry. I gave both ferrets pirate names. You wanted to be an astronaut as a kid? I wanted to be a pirate."
Jay scoffed. "Bet your dad loved that. Anyone ever tell you the pirates were the bad guys?"
"I never thought of that. Blame Disney. It was all fun. Mom was the one who hated it, because I'd call Jason a scurvy dog and chase him around the house. Not to mention yelling about why the rum was gone, long before I knew what rum was. The rest of the family thought it was cute, and I ended up with a whole pirate outfit, a plastic cutlass, the works. Daddy Richard bought me a giant tricorne hat." Kala smiled wistfully.
He looked at her thoughtfully. "You tormented your poor brother, huh?"
"We didn't have a parrot, so I stole his lizard and ran around with a three-foot-long iguana on my shoulder for a sidekick. And yeah, I tormented Jase – isn't that what siblings are for? Although don't feel too bad for him; he was more than capable of getting me back for it. He could pull an angelic face a whole lot faster than I could. I was always a little too proud of myself when I got one over on him, so everyone knew it. But that's what kids do." Kala said with a nostalgic smile.
Jay could only shrug. "Well, I took it a little further than most."
That shook her out of her reverie. Kala threw her napkin at him with a scolding look. "That wasn't entirely your fault, and you know it. Besides, you and Tim made your peace. Speaking of siblings, Jase gave as good as he got, though. And God help anyone else who messed with either of us. We'd fight all day and then turn on other kids together."
"Guess that's true of us, too. I damn sure wouldn't let anyone hurt those assholes, no matter how much hell I give them," Jay replied.
That earned him an amused snort as she smirked and shook her head at him. Understatement of the year. "They're more than just 'those assholes' and we both know it."
"Hey, you're the one who made 'asshole' an affectionate nickname," Jay shot back.
They hadn't touched the silverware laid out on the table, since they weren't eating, but Kala put her hand on the wrapped bundle with a glare at Jay. "Do not make me use the fork of justice."
"Okay, okay. You know I actually like Tim and Dick. Especially now. It's good to be able to spend Christmas with them." As usual, Jay wouldn't admit to the real depth of his feelings, but Kala decided to let it slide.
She and Jay fell into a warm, companionable silence as they finished off their coffee, and when Mary swung back by, Kala told her, "Just the check, please."
"Sure thing," the waitress said, heading for the register.
"Thought I was buying," Jay said, arching a brow.
"The Christmas spirit moved me," Kala said, taking out her wallet. She wanted to leave a really extravagant tip, and since she flew a lot, she tended to carry a few hundred in cash. Better that her card not get flagged every time she used it a thousand miles from where she'd been an hour ago.
Jay just shook his head. "No, K, I got this," he insisted, and took an envelope out from inside his jacket. It looked awfully thick, and Kala just blinked at him. "What? Not my money anyway, I liberated this from some of Mask's accounts that the DA couldn't find to freeze."
"You're incorrigible," Kala said, thinking that this was a fine example of why she found Jay so irresistible.
"You like it," he said.
"If I haven't made that abundantly clear by now, we really do need to go back to your place after this," Kala teased.
Jay grinned, that open smile that touched her heart and warmed her soul. With an expression like that on his face, it was hard to believe his next words weren't going to be those three that she knew he'd never say. And of course, all he said out loud was, "No argument here."
Mary returned with the check, and Jay handed her the envelope. "Share with the chef, okay?"
She paused, looking at him. "Honey, you don't gotta…"
"But I can, so I will. Don't worry, it's not from any illegal activities you'd disapprove of," Jay replied, standing up and touching her shoulder. "Besides, if I didn't, K was gonna, and I made more money than her this week."
"That's what you think," Kala said archly, as she stood up too. "Merry Christmas, Mary. You deserve it, putting up with us. Have a good night. Or morning, more likely, at this point."
"Merry Christmas," she said, and they both headed out, Jay moving fast enough that Kala had to stretch her legs to match his pace.
Catching his arm as they paused to head out the door, Kala gave him a quizzical look. He was up to something, had to be; what on earth was it now? "What's the hurry, Red?" she asked as he caught her hand and pulled her quickly out the door.
"There's five k in that envelope, I don't want her chasing me down trying to return it," Jay said, grinning wickedly as the door dinged closed behind them.
Kala's silvery laughter rang off the cold streets, letting Jay coax her into a bit of a run. "Oh my God, you crazy man, let's go!"
…
Going back to his building was a great idea. Jay hadn't felt this light in a long time; he wasn't even worried about being out here when Joker was clearly on the prowl. He had all the backup he needed, right here in his arms. And he pinned Kala against the door the moment they got inside, dipping his head to her neck and doing his damnedest to leave hickeys on that invulnerable skin.
Kala shivered, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. "Still working on that backlog, Red?"
"I haven't gotten over missing you yet, no," he told her, intoxicated by that damn perfume of hers. The hell with it, Jay grabbed her ass and picked her up, letting her wrap her legs around his waist with a delighted laugh.
This woman was so impossibly good. She was strong enough to turn the tables on him, easily – not three feet away was the dent in the wall that proved it. But she liked him being primal and aggressive with her, too. Jay gave a happy little growl, and bit her neck.
Kala laughed through another shiver of arousal, and kissed his temple. "I haven't gotten over missing you, either. God, Red, the times I thought about saying, 'Fuck it,' and letting the label just sue me for breach of contract, as long as I could come to you again…"
"You're here now," he said. "Without getting sued for it. That sucks, y'know? Can you imagine that one going to court? 'Your honor, I wanted to fulfill my contract, but the sex was just too good.' Can't imagine that one getting any sympathy."
She reached up and flicked his ear, gently. "It's not just the sex and you know it."
Rather than answer, and let himself get cockblocked by his own emotions, Jay just nodded and nibbled her perfect neck again. Kala gasped, and arched her back eagerly.
Jay didn't pause until he got her blouse open. They'd changed in the bunker, before and after rounds, and he'd noticed that she hadn't worn the same plainclothes to the diner that she'd worn out of the house last night. Probably because they'd both showered after rounds, but he'd also noticed that she brought her bag with her, despite having some clothes at his place. Jay hadn't thought anything of it at the time, but now he stopped, staring in awe.
Underneath the black blouse – no surprise, she was a Goth girl after all – Kala was wearing red satin and black lace. Oh hot damn, it was a bodysuit, and the deep v-neck framed her pale skin perfectly with black lace floral patterns. "Jesus fuck," Jay murmured, impressed.
"Do not cut this off me, or I will literally kill you," Kala told him, her voice serious – but a satisfied sparkle shone in her eyes. "I did not buy a thousand-dollar piece of lingerie to get it destroyed the first damn time I wear it."
"I'm good with that. Hell yeah, I wanna see this again. It's even red and black – wait, you just bought this. Did you get it for me?" Jay asked her, running his hands over her satin-clad sides.
Blushing a little, Kala admitted, "It's not your only Christmas present, but … yeah. I got it with you in mind."
Jay grinned at that, his heart beating faster. "Well, merry fucking Christmas to me."
Kala threw her head back and laughed in open delight, cupping his face, and Jay bent to kiss the sweet curve of her breast that the lingerie revealed. She was so fucking perfect…
…
Back at the diner, Mary had called the owner – her husband, James – and he'd come in early to stare at the envelope full of cash. Their short-order cook, Chance, was just as dumbfounded. "Five grand?" Chance whispered. "What's this guy do for a livin'?"
"He said it wasn't from anything illegal that we'd disapprove of," Mary said.
"Which means it's definitely illegal," James put in. "What do you know about him, hon?"
She shrugged. "He looks a little rough, sometimes, and he never sits with his back to the door. I thought maybe one of the gangs, but he doesn't try to act tough. And he's dating this cute cocktail waitress, I don't think she's the kind to put up with that. She's a little outta his league."
Five thousand dollars was a big tip from a guy who wore t-shirts and jeans, and didn't brag about his dot-com start-up. "Maybe it's drugs," James said.
"Nah, he's never high. Haven't seen a dealer yet who didn't dip into their own supply. And he said I wouldn't disapprove." Mary frowned, and then looked thoughtful. "I wonder … maybe he stole it from a dealer? He has come in here before looking like he just walked away from a fight."
"Great, he's the 21st century Robin Hood," Chance scoffed. "Hope Batman makes him stop before he gets shot."
"The girl's not dumb. If he was doing something that crazy on the regular, she wouldn't be in here with him," Mary said. "And those two are so in love, it's ridiculous. If he asks me to put a ring in a pancake, though, I'm gonna smack him in the head and make him take her somewhere nicer than this."
James laughed. "They like it here. Maybe they both have money, and they just like your cooking, Chance. Anyway, the way you said he ran out of here, I don't think we can give back the money, and giving it to the cops is useless. So, split it?"
"Yeah, he knew I wasn't gonna just take it, the little smartass," Mary said. "Kay said she was gonna tip high, too, but I bet she didn't have this in mind. Let's split it. Half for us, half for Chance?" She pitched it as a question, but looked at her husband with an eyebrow raised. They were doing fine, they owned a business that was profitable most of the time. Chance was a lot younger, living on his own, and there were always bills to pay.
"Sounds good to me," James agreed, and they spent the next ten minutes convincing Chance to just take the cash already.
…
Bruce let Tim precede him, and got home himself after daybreak. He'd waited for the veterinarian's conclusion, and it matched with his own observation. Joker had found a road-killed cat and nailed it to Selina's door. Disgusting, and an obvious threat, but not as horrifying as if he'd killed a live cat.
He still didn't relish telling Selina about it. She would be incensed, possibly enough so to want to go after Joker immediately, and he was ready to resort to stringent measures to prevent that. Confronting Joker in a frothing rage was suicide, Bruce knew. The Clown was entirely too good at manipulating emotion, and meeting him with anything less than cold, careful logic was a recipe for disaster.
If he had to cuff and sedate Selina – because no handcuffs would hold her long – she would be outraged at him. Enduring her wrath was a small price to pay for sparing her life. He steeled himself to deal with her censure.
Except she wasn't in the master bedroom when he got home. Or anywhere in the Manor, according to the interior cameras and a quick visual search. He checked the Cave next, and she wasn't there either.
The pit of his stomach had gone cold, the same way it had when he'd found Jason's note explaining that he'd left to find his mother. The same way it had when he'd heard the Gordons' address on the police scanner. Bruce went back up into the garage, and saw Selina's favorite of his cars was missing, the green Jaguar XJ.
And just as he came to that conclusion, he felt a paw gently smack his calf. Bruce turned to see Miss Kitty staring up at him, and she gave the tiniest mew, her green eyes intent on his with almost human worry.
He woke Barbara without apology. "I need your help. Selina's gone."
…
Airbrushed foundation was God's gift to masks with unusual skin tones, Harley thought, not for the first time. Pam hated the stuff, but she put up with it, and with containing her long red hair under a dark wig. Harley had given herself a bit of a tan, and worn a curly brunette wig plus glasses that changed the whole shape of her face. They were as incognito as they could possibly be, sitting out on the glassed-in patio of a nice little cafe for breakfast. It was as private as they needed it to be; in the depth of winter, the interior of the restaurant was warmer, and most patrons sat inside. It was warm enough with the morning sun amplified through the glass. Pam was complaining under her breath about not being able to feel the sun through the makeup, but Harley was just glad to see something other than the same four walls.
This outing served two purposes: they were finalizing their travel arrangements, using a burner phone that wouldn't track GPS back to their apartment, and they were meeting Selina, who'd left the protection of her rich boy's palatial mansion for a morning. It was risky for all of them – if any of them were recognized, the best case scenario would be cops. Maybe Bats. Of course, either way that would land them in Arkham, and the worst case scenario would quickly follow, with Joker hunting them down.
Harley really didn't want to die horribly. But come on, who was gonna recognize them?
Selina arrived wearing a wig and a shade of coral lipstick that really was not her. She'd also opted for the trick of wearing glasses to alter the appearance of her face, chunky square lenses in her case, and Harley managed not to laugh out loud. All three of them had gone with brown wigs, too, as being the furthest thing from their usual color. In regular soccer-mom type clothes, they looked like a book club meeting.
"I know," Selina said, sitting down at their table. "Who would've guessed the three of us could look boring?"
"It could only be funnier if we picked the same wig," Harley murmured, her eyes alight. There was a certain sorrow hovering over what might be their last meeting for a long time, but she resolutely ignored that.
Pam had been focused on her phone, but she looked up then with a slight smile. "We're set. Tomorrow morning. You'll forgive me for not sharing the details, I hope."
"The less I know, the more I can plausibly deny," Selina replied easily. "I had to slink out this morning during Himself's tennis lesson. At least it makes it a bit easier to dodge the other boyfriend, since he thinks he knows where I am."
Harley just chuckled. "You sure can pick 'em, Kitty."
"I'd say so can you, but I actually approve of your current paramour," Selina teased back with a fond smile.
Pam just huffed at them both. "I live and die for your approval, you know."
"You love me," Selina said with a smile.
"You're useful," Pam said archly, and Harley beamed at them both.
They'd picked a secluded table in the corner, but the waiter had still seen Selina sit down, and approached to take all of their orders now that the group was complete. Harley got her usual breakfast sandwich, on a croissant this time, Selina got an egg white omelet, and Pam opted for french toast. Their coffee orders were a bit more complicated, and with those taken as well, the waiter left them in an awkward silence. There were too many things all of them felt, but no one wanted to say in a public space. Not to mention, they were all on guard to make sure they didn't say anything that might shatter the illusion of three normal women at breakfast.
Harley hated silence. She bit down on the urge to fill it; she'd always been a bit of a rambler.
Selina, of course, was as graceful as her namesake. She just reached for Harley's hand, and when Harley took it, Selina laced their fingers together tightly. "I'm gonna miss you so, so much," Selina told her.
Harley tried to smile, but it wavered and broke, and she felt tears threatening to spill. She grabbed one of the napkins from the table and dabbed at her eyes. "Way to go right for the heart there," she muttered.
"It's the truth," Selina said. And then she reached for Pam's hand, too, fearless despite knowing full well how toxic Poison Ivy could be. Unless Pam was making a conscious effort to be harmless, it generally wasn't safe to touch her.
Pam slipped her hand into Selina's with a sad little smile. "I'll miss you, too."
"Right back at you," Selina said intently.
"Y'know, it's weird," Harley said, still dabbing her eyes with her free hand. "When we did that job together, the whole point was that it was gonna be the last one, right? That we were gettin' the money to move. And yet it didn't feel like the last job. Not like how this feels like the last breakfast."
"Don't think of it like that," Selina urged, squeezing her fingers gently. "It's going to be the last one for a while, but not the last one ever. Stranger things have happened. I mean, six months ago, none of us would've guessed we'd be here. Or that you two would be moving out together."
"Wished for it, perhaps, but never dreamed it would happen," Pam agreed.
Harley flinched a little at that. "I'm so sorry. I … I should've done this a long time ago. I shouldn't have strung you along. You were the best thing that ever happened to me, Pammy, and I almost didn't see it."
"Someone else didn't let you see it," Pam corrected. "He was in your head, love."
"So were you," Harley told her. "Sometimes I'd hear your voice and … I wouldn't let myself listen, but you were there. Telling me I deserved better."
"Sweetheart, everyone including my leather-clad boyfriend knows you deserve better," Selina said. "By the way, that whole flock … I wouldn't say supports, because that just makes it sound like they donated to a pride parade. But they're of the opinion that you two are good for each other."
"I know we are," Pam said frostily. She drew back her hand; sometimes her temper made her powers manifest subconsciously. "I don't need a bunch of self-righteous do-gooders to approve of my relationship choices."
Selina hastened to mollify her. "It's not like that. It's just … they get it, you know? A lot of them have dysfunctional relationships and screwed-up exes, too. They might hate what we do, but they don't hate us for what we are. And as weird as it sounds, they want you to be happy."
"Mostly 'cause happy people don't go on killing sprees," Harley murmured, and even Pam chuckled a little at that.
Their drinks arrived, and they all thanked the waiter. Another silence descended, more comfortable this time, and still Harley felt the urge to break it. "Y'know, hon … you could always come back with us. Just for a little while. For old times' sake."
Selina sighed, and squeezed her fingers again. "Much as I'd like to, I want to be able to look Tall Dark and Righteous in the eyes and honestly say I don't know where you are."
"I really don't envy you. That's a narrow and twisty road you've chosen to walk," Pam said, watching Selina's face.
She only shrugged. "He's worth it. If things had been different, he'd be the one. As it is, I'm glad to take what I can get. And it's fun, too."
"He never struck me as fun," Harley said, arching a brow. True, she and Joker had played plenty of tricks on Batman, and had fun running from him. But she couldn't see the guy being cool in a relationship. Much too serious for that. Now Selina's other man, Mr. Bruce Wayne, he would probably be fun to play with for a while – until the complete rich-boy lack of common sense drove her to despair. Honestly, she didn't envy Selina either. She'd picked a difficult set of moral choices, balancing between heroes and villains, helping Batman one night and being chased across the rooftops the next – and falling in bed with him either way.
Selina gave her a smile. "Trust me, way down deep under that brooding exterior, there lurks a functioning sense of humor. He doesn't let it out often, but I've made it my business to keep it alive despite his job and this town."
"Him with a sense of humor may be the most terrifying thing I've ever heard of," Pam said archly.
"Yeah, he never laughed at any of my jokes," Harley said mournfully. Was that a twinge of regret? Was she actually going to miss Batsy? Missing her friends, her favorite places, her family, all of that was understandable, but to her own surprise she felt a bit of melancholy over maybe never seeing Batman again.
Good thing she was leaving, Gotham had finally succeeded in driving her really crazy.
Breakfast arrived, and Selina took a bite before asking, "How's Bud?"
"Much better," Harley told her with a relieved smile. "He actually snapped at Lou for stealing his marrow bone yesterday. His fur's growing back in, and he's getting around a lot better, too."
"Good, I'm glad to hear it. I hope both the boys settle in wherever you two wind up," Selina said.
"They will," Harley said. "They're social animals. As long as they've got us and each other, they'll be all right."
The three of them dragged breakfast out with small talk, lingering over the last crumbs. Selina insisted on getting the check – well, she was staying with a billionaire, she could probably find fifty bucks in the sofa cushions.
And then the moment Harley was dreading arrived: standing outside the cafe together, and Selina's car was one direction, their safehouse was another. Time to part ways, and this was the end of an era.
Harley remembered the time she and Pam had moved in with Selina for six months. She'd been trying like hell to get over Joker after he'd kicked her out, and Pam had been between living situations at the moment, so Selina stepped in. She'd even had strong words with the Bat, basically telling him if he wanted to be able to find her, he had to agree not to arrest her friends while they were in her home. For a wonder, he'd agreed. And cast very suspicious eyes on Harley, a time or two, as she sat on Selina's couch eating ice cream as innocently as possible.
Those had been good months, fun months, full of laughter and wine and good takeout and movie marathons. The closest thing Harley had ever had to a normal life, in a lot of ways. And even though it all kind of went to hell, what with Selina double-crossing them both back into Arkham to keep them safe, they'd stayed friends.
Standing in the weak morning light, Selina glanced down the street toward the car she'd left a prudent distance away, and sighed. "Write me, okay?" she asked. "Use a good remailing service, just … keep in touch."
"Of course," Pam said with a formal nod.
Harley wasn't that aloof. She bit her lip, and flung her arms around Selina, hugging her tight as she could. Selina hugged her back just as hard. "Thank you, for helpin' me with Lucy," she murmured into Selina's shoulder.
"Of course, Harls," Selina told her, rubbing her back. "God, I'm gonna miss you both."
Harley managed to turn a half-sob into a laugh. "Better work on your aim, then," she tried to joke. Selina smiled at her, that thoroughly charmed, honest smile that so few people ever got to see from the living embodiment of the cat who walked by herself, and Harley couldn't help it. She cupped the nape of Selina's neck and kissed her, hard enough to remember for a while. Not caring that it was something like eight-thirty in the morning on a public street, either. There was just too much she didn't have words for.
Selina smiled into the kiss, and Harley let it linger. It was still something novel for her, to offer affection and be welcomed instead of rebuffed. Then again, Pam and Selina both had always made her feel welcome. Joker had made her feel like she belonged to him, the girls made her feel like she belonged with them.
Selina finally pulled back, her eyes already full of sorrow. Harley smiled sadly. "Love ya, kitty."
"Love you, too," Selina said, and with one final squeeze of her hand, she stepped away. "Love you, Pam."
Smiling sadly, Pam replied, "I'll kill you last." Selina put a hand to her chest as if she'd just declared undying love, and Harley laughed at that familiar bit of absurdity.
Pam took her other hand, nodding to Selina, and then they walked away at last. Harley followed Pam's gentle hand in hers, not seeing the sidewalk under her feet or the streets around them. It finally felt real, they were really leaving, she was walking away from the city she'd called her own since graduating college.
Two blocks away, Pam slowed a little, and Harley raised her head miserably. She saw what her lover was looking at immediately: red and black diamonds sprayed on the window of a shop with a closed sign on the door. They didn't linger, Pam tugging her hand, both of them moving on before anyone could notice them and maybe wonder why they were so interested. Or notice how the tears trickling down Harley's cheeks were taking the makeup off as they dripped down her neck.
That started a coal of resentment burning in her chest, though. Here she was, finally becoming a symbol of feminine independence, all while that rat-bastard ex of hers was running her out of her town and away from her friends. People were using her trademark as a rallying cry, as a warning to the abusers and the misogynists, and she was running off with her tail tucked between her legs, still afraid of the man she'd almost killed.
Harley knew she couldn't stay and fight. She trusted Selina's intuition, and every day away from Joker, her head got a little clearer and her own intuition got stronger. If she stayed to fight, she'd die – and likely take everyone she loved with her.
That didn't mean she didn't have to slip out without a whimper of protest.
The resentment and anger in her chest burned a little brighter. Maybe one protest…
…
Kala rolled over and grabbed her phone on the fourth ring. "'lo?" she said blearily.
"Good morning, glad you're alive, can you please confirm that Jay is also alive?" Babs asked, with a brittle edge to her voice.
He was sleepily curling an arm around her waist even as Babs spoke, so Kala answered, "Yes, he's fine, we just decided to sleep at his place since it was closer. What's going on?"
Babs sighed. "You two never came back last night, and Selina slipped out early this morning, disabling the tracking on the car she borrowed. Bruce is … upset. Could you both come in?"
That weighted pause before 'upset' told Kala that Bruce was freaking out much more than the word implied. Babs might be within earshot, though, so she wouldn't add more fuel to the fire by saying 'having a paranoid conniption'. Kala sighed too. "Sure, let me wake Sleeping Beauty here and we'll head in. Do you want me to try to find Selina?" Even as she spoke, she was trying to focus her hearing and pick out the dry, amused tone of Selina's voice from the background every other sound in Gotham City.
"It'd be like looking for a needle in a haystack. We have no idea where she went. I'm trying to scrape traffic cams to find the car she took – if you see a green Jaguar in town, let me know." Babs sounded distinctly nettled.
"I could think of more fun ways to start your morning," Kala said, and they signed off. Only after did she realize Selina had taken the Jaguar, of all Bruce's sports cars, and that got her chuckling despite the situation. Of course she'd take the one that fit the cat theme, even if it was a fairly recognizable car.
Waking Jay wasn't going to be easy; they'd been out late last night, and the lingerie had gotten an enthusiastic response once they turned in. Kala turned in his arms and ran her hands through his hair, nuzzling his cheek. "Jay? Red, we gotta get up. Bruce is freaking out, Selina snuck out of the Manor, he's worried about us too. C'mon, Jay, rise and shine."
He opened one bleary eye, and smiled at her. "Got the rise, anyway. Not gonna shine."
"No, we don't have time for wake-up sex, greedy," she told him gently, stroking her thumb across his cheekbone. "Did you even hear the first part of that? Babs called. Bruce is upset. Selina disappeared. C'mon."
"Ah, fuck," Jay groaned. "What the hell is up with Selina?"
"She took a car and went out. Disabled tracking on the car so Babs can't find her. Bruce is worried about her. He's worried about us, too. C'mon, let's throw some clothes on and get over there before he has a meltdown." Kala coaxed him patiently, and Jay finally sat up, rubbing his hands over his face.
Fifteen minutes later they were at the Manor, walking into the entire family gathered around a couple laptops in the dining room. Bruce whirled on them with a stern glower. "Jason. Why didn't you come home last night?" he demanded.
"Fucking chill, I'm not fifteen anymore," Jay shot back. "We thought we'd be nice and have our noisy satisfying sex where everybody didn't have to hear it." That earned stifled laughter from Dinah and Roy, a facepalm from Donna, and rolled eyes from Tim.
What was it with these damn men and the never-ending trolling? Even now, she was still adjusting to be actual fact that the entire family knew what they were up to. "Jay!" Kala hissed in irritation, smacking his arm.
"No, you're not fifteen, you were more careful at that age," Bruce retorted. "No one cares about your sex life, Jason, this house survived Dick's adolescence and my own. At least if you're here rattling the entire east wing I know you're safe."
Jay drew breath to reply, but Kala squeezed his elbow and stepped in front of him, holding up her arms in a time-out signal. "Whoa. Uncle Bruce, I understand you were worried about us. But we're okay. Jay's building is almost as safe as the Manor, and I was there – it's very difficult to sneak up on me. We're fine. Now let's get to work on finding Selina. That's more important than having a yelling match, all right?"
Bruce lowered his head like a bull about to charge, then let out a heavy sigh. "If you'd seen what I saw last night, you'd understand why it's urgent that we find her. Barbara updated you – I assume you didn't see the car?"
"No, and I don't hear her voice, either," Kala said with some chagrin. "She might not be talking right now, or I might not just have a good enough lock on it."
Jay had stopped to stare at her. "You can pick one person's voice out of the whole city like that?"
"Sometimes, if I know them well enough," Kala said. "I could tell you what Mom, Dad, Jase, or Elise was saying right now, no matter where they were. Babs, any luck on the car?"
"It was parked for an hour, but it's moving again and she knows where most of the cameras are," Babs replied.
"Where did she park?" Bruce asked, turning away from Kala and Jay to go look over Babs' shoulder.
Kala looked at Jay with her eyebrow raised. He just shrugged. They both headed toward the table, ready to join the brainstorming session or go out and search. Babs was reading off an address, and Bruce was looking at a map of the city with a frown, when Kala suddenly stopped. "What is it, K?" Jay asked, but she shushed him.
"There's a car slowing down on the road near this driveway," she said, turning that way. All of them turned, listening, though only Donna had a chance of hearing it at this distance.
"It's the Jaguar," Babs said, pulling up the gate camera.
Kala let her eyes go unfocused, looking through the walls toward the drive. Her x-ray vision wasn't as clear or as piercing as Jason's, and neither of them were as good as Dad, but she could see the car. And, as it drove up toward the house, she saw the driver. "That's Selina. She's fine, Uncle Bruce, she's right here."
He let out a breath that none of them realized he'd been holding, and leaned back against the table. For a moment Bruce Wayne looked every minute of his age, with every loss and failure that haunted him written in his expression. Kala wanted to hug him, but like Jay he was notorious for confusing compassion with pity. Everyone looked away, pretending not to notice the moment of vulnerability.
By the time Selina had parked the car and walked in from the garage, though, Bruce had recovered his equilibrium. "What were you thinking? Were you thinking?" he snapped.
Selina all but skidded to a halt, whatever she'd been planning to say silenced by that abrupt attack. Kala saw her shock plainly for the instant it took her to get just as angry as Bruce was. "Down, boy," she shot back, bristling. "Last I checked I don't need your damn permission to leave the house. I'm not your wife – and you need to call Interpol to find her, anyway."
"Don't be ridiculous," Bruce growled. "This has nothing to do with your obsession with independence–"
"My perfectly justifiable interest in remaining independent is directly related to your obsession with knowing everything and controlling everything within your reach," Selina spat, cutting him off.
He raised his voice to continue, "It has everything to do with you sneaking out of the house to go wander around the city … or no, you went to meet Harley, didn't you? Of course, that's why you disabled tracking on the car."
"Exactly. I went to go see my friend because she's going to be leaving the country for an undetermined length of time so her psychotic abusive ex doesn't torture her to death. And I left while you were still out brooding on rooftops because if I'd told you where I was going, you'd follow me. If I didn't disable the tracking on the car, you'd follow me. And then you'd arrest her and she'd be sitting in Arkham for Joker to collect at his leisure." Selina stalked forward as she spoke, arms crossed and eyes flashing, and the entire family sat back trying not to look at either of them.
"I could hold Harley in the Cave, for her own safety," Bruce retorted. "You never asked, you just assumed. Every moment that she's free – meeting up with you in public coffee shops or wherever you arranged this – is a moment she's risking being found by Joker anyway. I don't want her hurt, either. Why do you think I helped you hide the Southards? Do you really think I'd let him catch her?"
"Do you really think you can stop him? Because hello, exhibit A," Selina shot back, pointing at Jay.
Everyone gasped, eyes widening. Kala's jaw dropped, and even Jay muttered, "Whoa shit, leave me outta this one!"
The temperature in the room seemed to drop ten degrees, and Bruce seethed. Before he could speak, Selina raised her voice. "He's the fucking Joker. No one can really predict him, no one's ever really stopped him for long, not even you and you're the best there is. No one can even kill the lucky sonofabitch, I know Lawton's tried at least twice and he never misses. That's why I've been herding the two of them to just get out ever since this started, and now they're leaving tomorrow morning. They can get lost in the rest of the world, he's not going to be able to track them down. She's almost free, Bruce, I'm not letting you screw it up less than twenty-four hours before Harley's out of his reach at last! So sue me if I wanted to talk to them one more time!"
"And I'm not letting you get killed for sentimental chitchat," Bruce snarled at her, taking a menacing step forward. "He is the Joker. And he nailed a dead cat to your door last night, Selina. He's aiming for you, and you're out having breakfast with the only two people in this city he wants to kill more than you. Not to mention, you're driving around town in a fucking Jaguar registered to Bruce Wayne!"
Kala had never heard Uncle Bruce swear. Apparently neither had anyone else, because Babs and Dick both swiveled their heads around in obvious shock.
Selina seemed to contract in on herself in a full body wince. "Ah, shit."
"Precisely," Bruce ground out. "Not to mention I have your familiar here swatting me and demanding that I do something. If Miss Kitty is upset, it's a good indication that you are doing something needlessly dangerous."
For the first time, Kala noticed that Selina was a few inches shorter than her. She looked strangely diminished, with her expression chagrined. And it only got worse as Miss Kitty stalked toward her from Bruce's side. "I'm sorry, girl," Selina murmured. "I didn't take you because I was trying not to make it obvious who I was. Sounds like I fucked that up anyway."
The black cat stared at her intently, then sneezed, turning her back and walking away to rub against Kala's shins. "Hey, don't bring me into it," Kala said hurriedly, moving back. She got an imperious look from green-gold eyes. "You and Selina fight it out, I'm not stepping into that ring."
Looking genuinely hurt by the cat's dismissal, Selina looked up at Bruce. "I made it back all right, though."
"This time," Bruce said, in tones of cold finality. "Your one blind spot is that you cannot help playing to the cat theme; you didn't even realize you took the Jaguar. You will make mistakes, Selina, and any one of them could be your last. If he catches you, he'll kill you. Slowly. Painfully. Disfiguringly. Joker will kill you in ways that will force me to identify your body by dental records and DNA, and he'll laugh while he does it, Selina."
"Okay, enough," Jay said, and only Kala heard the faintest quaver in his voice. "We all know that, Bruce."
"Apparently one of us doesn't know it well enough," Bruce replied. And continued, brutal in his persistence, "You looked me in the eyes last night and told me to be safe, Selina. You promised me you'd be here when I got back. And instead you went out to see Harley, the single most-wanted person in all of Gotham right now."
Kala had never seen Selina look browbeaten, and hearing this verbal dressing-down made her nauseous even when it wasn't aimed at her. "I guess it doesn't make any difference that I expected you home a lot earlier, and I was going to slip out and be back while you were sleeping," Selina said, in a small voice.
"It does not," Bruce told her.
At that, Babs cleared her throat. "And why didn't Selina know about the cat nailed to her door the moment you found it, Bruce?"
Both of them turned to look at her in surprise, and Tim answered when Bruce didn't. "We wanted to make sure the cat was already dead when he nailed it up. We were afraid that, if she thought Joker had done that to live animal, Selina would go hunt him down."
"Probably accurate," Selina said. "Give me a minute and I'll be properly furious about that. How did he find a cat? And where is it now?"
"The veterinarian is holding it for cremation or burial. I was going to ask you what should be done," Bruce said, his voice still rough. "The cat was hit by a car and killed. He must have found one on the road."
"So, Selina didn't know that a specific threat had been made towards her," Babs said. "And we really can't blame her for wanting to see Harley and Ivy, or for not telling you she was going to see them. You would follow her, there's no concept of privacy with you and no level of trust that will allow you to let someone you're trying to protect out of your sight. See, the cameras in my apartment after I got out of the hospital."
Uncle Bruce didn't really flinch, but Kala was observant enough to notice the change in posture that would've been a wince on anyone else.
Dinah picked up the thread in a philosophical tone, "Also, Selina, Bruce has spent the last hour thinking that Joker had already caught you, and that the next time he saw you was going to be at a grisly crime scene. So yes, he's overreacting, but you didn't see get to see his face when Kala told him the car was turning into the driveway, and you were in it, alive and unharmed. That was a moment of profound relief. For all of us, really."
Kala really didn't want to draw attention to herself at the moment, but she and Jay had been a factor, too. "It doesn't help that the two of us never came home last night, either. And we know that bastard would like to get hold of Jay, too. The two people most at risk here both weren't home when Uncle Bruce got in, which, I can't blame him for being mad."
Selina just looked at Bruce, and he met her gaze steadily, both of them still hurt and angry, but with the beginnings of fragile forgiveness between them.
The silence hung for a moment longer, and Dick cleared his throat. "This is the part where you both admit that you've done stupid things for noble reasons, apologize, and let yourselves be relieved and glad that no one got hurt. Go on, hug it out."
Bruce didn't even glance at him; Selina cut her eyes his way with the ghost of a smile. Then she looked back at Bruce, her expression worried. Kala was struck by how uncertain she seemed, how delicate for such an outgoing and confident personality.
Neither of them spoke; in Kala's family, there would have been tearful apologies, maybe a little swearing from Mom, and eventual rapprochement. Of course the Bats did things differently.
After a moment, Bruce simply stepped forward, took hold of Selina's shoulders, and murmured, "I'm glad you're safe."
"Me too," she replied, and stepped into his embrace.
"Awwww," Roy said. When everyone turned to look at him and Dinah shoved his shoulder, he feigned embarrassment. "Ooops, sorry, I didn't realize we weren't gonna say it out loud. My bad."