Tom stood in the doorway of Amelia's room and watched as the little girl slept, her chest rising up and down in a steady rhythm. Her projection device had been left on, stars and galaxies covering the ceiling and emitting a soft glow. She was never able to get to sleep without looking at the stars. She was her mother's daughter, all right. And Tom loved her more than he had ever thought it possible to love someone. How could he put her at any risk?

He turned away from her as he felt himself be overcome, collapsing upon his sofa. Memories of her illness and kidnap two years earlier came rushing back. He didn't think he could go through the pain again of watching her slipping away from disease, or not knowing if she was going to be alright. The Doctor's treatments at the time had been effective, but it been almost two months before she could leave sickbay, and the active little girl had suffered. How could he ask that of her again?

B'Elanna came to sit beside him, pulling his hands into hers. She was upset, but was disguising it as best as she could for Tom's sake. He leaned his head onto her shoulder, seeking her strength to sustain him through this. They were supposed to be preparing to get married in a few weeks. Would Amelia have to go to her mother's funeral instead of her father's wedding?

"Am I being selfish?" He finally voiced what he had been thinking, knowing B'Elanna would be the last person to judge him.

"No, of course not," she soothed. Her arm stretched around his shoulders and pulled him close. "This is a horrible choice, Tom."

"Tell me about it." He screwed up his eyes tightly. "I care about Janeway, I do, I really do. More than I thought I did until now. She's not just my captain now, or the mother of my child. She's a friend. And I don't want to lose her. Especially if it's my fault."

"It's not your fault, Tom."

"Yeah, it is." He opened his eyes and sat up to look at her full on. "It was me that pushed her into going to survey that nebula. And if she dies, it'll be because of my decision not to let Amelia help her."

"Tom, you heard the Doctor, it's a tiny risk-"

"How can I make this decision, B'Elanna," he asked desperately reaching out to hold her. "If I act, Amelia could be harmed in a way we don't even know yet. And if I don't, she loses her mother. Do I have the right to make that decision? Is the certainty of Janeway dying if she doesn't get help more important than the possibility that Amelia might be hurt? But how can I gamble on possibilities when it's my daughter's health on the line?"

Tom slumped and fell back on the couch, his head thumping. He'd never been good at decisions. He always made the wrong one. Why did it have to be him? The look in Chakotay's eyes haunted him. It wasn't just Amelia who could suffer from losing Janeway. He couldn't take all this pressure.

"Maybe you should let Amelia chose then," B'Elanna said, causing Tom to snap his attention back to her.

"Amelia? She's four, B'Elanna," he argued. "She wouldn't understand."

"You sure? She's pretty smart."

"She's not old enough to make a decision like this," he continued, sitting up straighter. "No matter how smart she seems, she's a kid. A kid who's already been through a lot in life."

"Think about it, Tom," B'Elanna said, squeezing his shoulder gently. "What will Amelia think in the future if she knows she could have saved her mother, and you denied her the right to choose?"

"If she was just a bit older-"

"Daddy?"

Tom jumped at the sound of Amelia's voice. The little girl was standing in the doorway in her pale pink pyjamas, blonde curls tousled with sleep. She rubbed her eyes and walked towards them, her lips trembling.

"Daddy, is mommy going to die?"

Tom could have kicked himself for not checking her door was closed. Her anxious little face was like a knife to the heart.

"Oh, sweetie, come here," he said, gathering her into his arms and holding her close. "I'm sorry we woke you."

Amelia hugged him back, but soon wriggled out of his grasp to look at him, her eyes wide and watery.

"Daddy?"

For once, Tom hated the fact that she was so inquisitive. He wanted to just tell her everything was alright, send her back to bed with a story and a kiss on the cheek. But that trusting expression wouldn't allow him to lie to her.

He sighed heavily, and sat Amelia on his knee, B'Elanna moving in closer to hold Amelia's hand.

"I'm afraid Mommy is very sick," he said, wishing for once that his daughter wasn't quite so intelligent. "She's in sickbay."

"Will she get better?" Amelia asked, biting her lip.

Tom hesitated for a moment. Destroying the hope on that little face would be painful. "The Doctor doesn't think so, sweetie. Not unless she can get a very special medicine."

"Well get it then!" Amelia looked between them, expression frantic. "Voyager can get anything!"

"It's not as easy as that," Tom said, detesting himself for continuing to upset her. "It's something that you have, Amelia. Something very special inside of you. But getting it out of you to give to Mommy will hurt you, and it might make you sick too."

Amelia blinked a few times as she took this in, her little brain whirring away as she fought to understand it. "But it'll help Mommy?"

"Yes, but it might hurt you. Do you understand?"

Amelia was silent for a long moment before she nodded. A few tears gathered in her eyes.

"Can we go and visit her, Daddy?"

"Of course, we can," Tom said, holding her close. "We'll take you first thing in the morning." To say goodbye, a morbid thought said at the back of his mind.

Amelia nodded and sniffed as she pressed her face against Tom's chest, his shirt soon wet with her tears. Amelia never cried. Only when she was separated from her parents, when she was afraid.

Tom worried that this separation would prove to be the longest yet.